Meat and Two Veg?

There is a little flurry in ELT circles at the moment. Gavin Dudeneye has put a cat amongst the pigeons by suggesting that it’s quite alright for people to plagiarize his blog as long as they keep their hands off his roll-neck sweaters. This is an attitude shared by the Potato Diaries who are happy and flattered that anyone might even come here at all let alone take anything with them on the way out.

Leaving no stone unturned, and for the benefit of the ELT community as a whole, our top reporter has scoured the past and is now able to throw some light on this important matter which threatens to tear apart the blogosphere and perhaps even the entire universe.

Enter stage right lawyer, statesman, essayist, historian, intellectual reformer, philosopher and scientist, Sir Francis Bacon. Son of Anne Cooke-Bacon (I jest ye not) and father of modern science, Sir Francis “Thank God it’s Friday” Bacon was a great man for the thinking and the doing. This led him to places high and low from exalted positions of power (Lord Chancellor and such) to the Tower of London where he was imprisoned for debt. Think Elizabethan Jeffrey Archer without the obnoxiousness.

Apart from the obvious physical similarity to Dudeneye, do these two Renaissance men have anything else in common or is this just a wild goose chase. A ‘Hunting of the Snark’ if you will. “Where am you be going is?” I hear you cry. Did you read that twice? What has this to do with plagiarism? Bear with me a while and all will be revealed.

Enter stage left, His Bardiness, William Shakespeare. The bearded genius, thin on top, addicted to high-necked garments and the English language’s greatest source of trauma to school children. Shakespeer? Bacon? Where’s the link? Well, it has long been argued that in fact Sir Francis Bacon was the author of Shaksper’s plays. The cornerstone of this argument lies in the choice of name of that most tragic of heroes. Hamlet. I mean talk about doing someone else’s homework for them. Blimey!

Personally, given how many other things Bacon had on his plate (and I'm not talking about cabbage or spuds here), I think it’s highly unlikely he got round to writing ‘The Complete Works of Shaxper' as well but that's what people are saying. This only goes to confirm our belief that history is merely replaying itself in never-ending cycles.

Bacon himself always enjoyed a bit of an old plagiarize too. Compare the following quotes:

The sun too penetrates into privies, but is not polluted by them“ Diogenes

The sun, which passeth through pollutions itself remains as pure as before.” Bacon

Snared 400 years after the event by quotesforsaddos.com. Really. How are the mighty fallen.

It was (typically) a Frenchman, Rene Descartes who trumped Bacon for all time, thereby cheating him out of a place in the Philosophers' World Cup. He did this by simply removing one letter of Bacon’s widely admired remark “I think therefore I ham”. Through this slight of hand Descartes became the Father of Modern Philosophy, a title Bacon desperately wanted. There was little left for him to do but die of pneumonia while experimenting on the refrigeration of raw chickens.

Bit of an anti-climax, really.

A Bunch of Cynics.

As some of you may be aware, there has been a great deal of discussion in the blogosphere about Dogme ELT. Is it an attitude or a methodology? An approach or a philosophy? Or perhaps merely a Snark? A load of old codswallop or a lantern that will lead the ELT world out of darkness?

[For those who have missed all this, Dogme is a way of teaching English using fewer pre-prepared materials and a more open and flexible attitude to students' input and 'authentic' emergent language. Rooted in Danish film-making, this (insert from above) has spread like wildfire around the ELT world until now a reference to Dogme is de rigeur in any blogpost or conversation ELT-related.]

Desiring to keep you abreast with all the latest issues in ELT, reporters from the Potato Diaries have travelled deep into antiquity and made a stunning discovery. Far from having its roots in a bottle of Aalborg aakvavit, Dogme can be traced all the way to ancient Greece, which incidentally is still home to some very fine ELT people.

Behold Diogenes! Like present day Dogmeists, Diogenes was known for his materials-light approach, often wandering the market place without a stitch on. He was a controversial figure and one of the founders of Cynicism which, like some other words, apparently meant something different back then. Cynics believed in a simpler, more honest and natural way of living without the clutter of coursebooks and the clatter of laptops getting between student and teacher.



According to Wikipedius writing 2500 years after his death, Diogenes was the only person ever to get away with insulting Alexander the Great. Clearly this resonates with Dogme ELT's awkward relationship with the publishing industry who on one had want to be hip and cool but on the other hand have become nervous of a bunch of high profile teachers trying to lead the world away from their wares. When Alexander the Great asked Diogenes if there was anything he could do for him, Diogenes said " Get out of the sun, matey. I'm trying to catch some rays."















Diogenes is also important to the modern world as a source of pithy quotes to use as a Facebook status. It was he who said “We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less”. This is clearly aimed at language teachers and directly refers to Dogmeists' insistence that the voice of the student be given due priority. It has even been taken as a criticism of the world of blogging as a whole.

The most stunning connection with Dogme though is a simple one, with fur. Diogenes was and is forever associated with...dogs. The reason for this seems to be a dog's honesty, versatility and ability to teach without having to bring a load of photocopies to class. The word 'cynic' derives from the Greek word kynikos, the adjective form of kyon (κύων), meaning dog. The statue below is in Diogenes' hometown of Sinop, in modern Turkey (also home to some very fine ELT bloggers). Note the lantern, the beard, the off-the-shoulder look and the dog.




















I leave you with some final words from Diogenes said shortly before his death (possibly caused by a dog bite). These are words we should keep in mind as we become more Dogmeesque in our teaching.

“He has the most who is most content with the least”

[This put him at odds with Plato who apparently said "Shut up. Cover your arse and go get a decent coursebook. You're upsetting the children."]

Learning by learning. The cold water method.

For the first time in my life, I have a proper hobby. When I moved back to Ireland there was one thing I simply had to try. This video says it better than any words. This is what I look like in my dreams these days.

It’s Laser sailing and it’s the most fun I’ve had since I took up English teaching. Well nearly. I’m on a little learning journey which has led me to the bizarre situation where I find myself competing against 30 or so veritable marine gods every Sunday morning in races up and down a stretch of choppy, cold water best left to cormorants and shags.

The good thing about this is I have learned a few things about sailing. The learning curve is steep. In fact it’s so steep that I frequently end up traveling through the air next to the boat, limbs flailing before I plunge into the water, in Dublin Bay, in November. The thing I’ve learned most about though is learning itself.

Most of the following thoughts apply to language learning as much as laser sailing. As a disclaimer I would caution anyone planning to take up Laser sailing to ignore this whole post and go and get some proper lessons. Same would apply to language learners.

1. You’re going to look really bad a lot of the time and you’d better get over that right away. Spend 25 years eating too much and doing no exercise and you’re not going to impress anyone in a wetsuit. Fortunately there’s nobody you have to impress. This is a voyage of self-discovery and if you don’t like what you see then you might have thought twice about some of those hundreds of, nay thousands of (tens of thousands of???) pints of Guinness you guzzled in a misguided attempt to check that it was all Guinness to the bottom of every keg.

2. Console yourself in the thought that your efforts will be entertaining to others. Especially to tourists who have come out to feed the seals. Actually, a middle-aged man in a wetsuit looks remarkably like some of the plumper seals on the East Coast of Ireland. You may feel in two minds about being recorded on iPhones as you flounder about, repeatedly capsizing in the mouth of the harbour.. The happy truth of the matter however is that nobody really cares and neither should you. Life’s short. Get on with it

3. The help and support of friends is, well, helpful and supportive. I’d have done none of this if it wasn’t for Robin. Thanks for lending me the boat, showing me how to rig it and taking me out the first time. Thanks for sitting with me endless evenings as I asked the same questions about windward-leeward courses and still went round the wrong way Thanks for encouraging me to do something that I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do by myself and thanks for saying nice things about my pathetic efforts. And thanks to Yuko for minding the kids every Sunday morning while Daddy's off in his seal outfit.

4. You might have to be rescued sometimes and that’s fine. Nothing to be ashamed of at all. Particular thanks here to the guy who stopped his car, (yes I did say car) and asked if I needed help as I was being washed up against the railings at Strand Road. Further thanks for him for dropping in at the Dinghy Club on his way home and suggesting the manager come and get me in the rescue boat (for which, thanks).

5. It gets easier. Having said that, in my first competitive outing after practicing for the whole summer, I failed to complete either race due to being, shall we say, horizontally challenged. The second day was better but I could hardly see the 25 boats they were so far in front of me. So much for learning from the other guys. Specs on the horizon, they were

6. Study up! I have enjoyed reading the advice of an Olympic champion in his illustrated guide to Laser sailing and marvel at the photos of his taut, poised form, perfectly balanced as his boat skims over the waves. Books do help...

7. …but you improve most but just getting out there and doing it. I would qualify this by saying that this is particularly true in the case of language studies.

8. Boats work better the right way up. It’s a design thing.

9. Pride actually does come before a fall.

10. Participation IS winning. Or as close as you’re likely to get, mate.

11. Be brave. When you fall off your pony, just get back on. If your pony is made of fiber-glass, turn it the right way up and get back on. If you’re in a fruit shop and they give you grapefruits instead of oranges, try again. If they give you a pony, or a small fiber-glass dinghy get the book out again. Or draw a picture. But then you’ll probably still get grapefruits. Whatever. Go to another shop. Get a life. Or some grapefruits.

12. You are special. Believe that and you’ll believe anything. You’re not. At least the Irish Sea doesn’t think so.

Dodgson, Dogme and an impossible quest. Macmillan ELT publishes definitive guide to the ELT blogosphere.

Firstly, apologies to David Dodgson, whose excellent ELT blog Reflections of a Teacher and Learner is recommended reading. I guess your heart stopped when you saw the title of this post, David. But fear not, the Dodgson I am referring to is perhaps your ancestor, Charles Lutwidge Dodgson better known as Lewis Carroll. The guide I refer to is my favourite of his works, The Hunting of The Snark published 125 years ago in Oxford by the good people at Macmillan.

Previously proposed to be an allegory of anything from society to Carroll’s own life, it has now become apparent to me that Carroll was in fact writing over a century ahead of his time of the world of ELT. That it has taken this long for reality to catch up with his vision only confirms my opinion of his greatness.

I won’t spoil the tale but suggest that anyone remotely interested in matters ELT get over to the University of Adelaide’s free version of the poem here and enjoy the read.

Finished? Well even a superficial reading of the Snark will no doubt have made everything clear. I mean, who could fail to recognise Scott Thornbury (the Bellman) and Luke Meddings (the Banker) striding masterfully through the surf (itself a metaphor for the internet) in the first of Henry Holliday’s wonderful illustrations?

The Bellman himself they all praised to the skies Such a carriage, such ease and such grace! Such solemnity, too! One could see he was wise, The moment one looked in his face!

Who could not but recognize Dogme ELT in the following:

He had bought a large map representing the sea  Without the least vestige of land: And the crew were much pleased when they found it to be A map they could all understand.

“What’s the good of Mercator’s North Poles and Equators,  Tropics, Zones, and Meridian Lines?” So the Bellman would cry: and the crew would reply  “They are merely conventional signs!

“Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes!  But we’ve got our brave Captain to thank: (So the crew would protest) “that he’s bought us the best — A perfect and absolute blank!”

And who could fail to see the uncanny physical resemblance between our favourite blogger down under and the Butcher literally with an axe to grind, whose uneasy relationship with a Beaver must make the people at Longman (your place, your space, your lace) really nervous.

But it goes deeper than that. How could we have all missed this obvious reference to the quest for the perfect language teaching methodology?

They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care,  They pursued it with forks and hope; They threatened its life with a railway-share;  They charmed it with smiles and soap.

And is there a course book author out there at the beck and call of a publisher who doesn’t feel like the Baker sometimes. Oh, tragic figure!

He would answer to “Hi!” or to any loud cry,  Such as “Fry me!” or “Fritter my wig!” To “What-you-may-call-um!” or “What-was-his-name!” But especially “Thing-um-a-jig!”

I rest my case with an image that many of you will find chilling. Behold a nightmare vision of the ELT blogosphere! As some of you reading this are probably ELT bloggers I invite you to try and identify yourselves and your friends. I am sure you can have fun however I do strongly suggest that anyone who has any smart ideas about “the JubJub, that desperate bird”, keep them firmly under their hats.

I have probably offended enough people for one morning by now and will go and do something useful like write a decent textbook . “Sure, that’s a Boojum!” I hear you cry.

[Apologies to any of my friends or relatives not involved in ELT who may stumble on this and surmise that I have finally lost the plot completely. Further apologies for the lay-out of the stanzas in this posting. I really can't spend any more time trying to get them right.]

Dogme and me. Or me and my dog.

Unfortunately, language teaching usually takes place in a classroom environment involving large numbers of students. It’s often an experience similar to group sightseeing with a tour guide at the front waving a little flag and hoping that students will follow. For those of you who have been elsewhere there is an exciting and admirable movement afoot in ELT called ‘Dogme’. The pillars of dogme being materials-light, conversation-driven learning with the teacher and students alert to emergent language; all worthy and to many teachers somewhat obvious aims. I suggest this attitude is an ideal we should aim for and should be inspired by.

Let’s go back to the sightseeing analogy though. Imagine taking forty 7-year-old kids on a full-day tour of, say, London.

Before you got to London, would you prefer the students had some idea what they were going to see and do? Probably.

Would you like their parents to be informed about how they were going to spend the day? I guess so.

Would you take them to Picadilly Circus and say ‘OK, everyone! Listen up! We’ll meet you back here in 2 hours.’? Umm. No.

Might you consider giving them a map and some important contact details? I would.

I agree that in some ways the 40 kids might learn a great deal by being given a freer rein. You’ll not end up with forty of them though and it’ll be fun explaining to their parents why sixteen of them spent the whole day on the London Eye, ten of them sat in an amusement arcade all afternoon and only one of them stumbled on the British Museum by chance, spent two hours in the souvenir shop and then left without realizing where they had been. There were also the three that got on the train to Birmingham and the chap who sat in McDonald's all day eating chicken nuggets. I’m sure you can have fun thinking of other students in this scenario.

I have done a great deal of Dogme-like teaching. Actually it led me to become involved in creating materials. It works better the less students you have, the more responsible and individually motivated they are, the greater your understanding of the target language, the greater the students' language ability, the more time the teacher has to devote to preparation of attractive lessons and the less control the system requires.

Most young learner environments are heavily weighted towards the wrong end of these scales. That's not to say we should give up.

A well known ELT editor once uttered the immortal line in a karaoke booth. 'Sing something more Springsteenesque!'. I would say that all teachers should aim to be more Dogmeesque but you might find a decent coursebook comes in very handy on the journey. What a decent coursebook is is material for another day.

Nuggets for Breakfast.

A conversation with my 7-year-old son at breakfast has made my mind up about the grammar ‘McNuggets’ debate. An epiphany over a potato farl.

Kai: There aren't really lines in space, are there?

Me: No.

Kai: Then why do they put them there in books?

The lines allow us to understand the orbit of the planets, the forces of gravity or the spin of electrons in an atom. Personally, I appreciate them. Explicit grammar presentation in language textbooks plays the same role. It's a big old cosmos out there.

[Profound apologies to anyone coming to this blog used to a diet of light-hearted and trivial nonsense. Normal service should resume shortly.]

To P or not to P?

Involving parents? Should we? Shouldn't we? With young learners I think it's worth a try although certainly there's no guarantee of success in every case. What do you think? Are parents your valued teaching assistants, the engine room behind your students' rapid progress or are they a source of arghs and yikes?

Parents, especially those who enroll their kids in private language schools want their children transformed into confident English speakers. They usually want this to happen in about a week. They also usually lack the confidence to get involved. I have found most parents are happy to get on board if they are shown simple things they can do at home but don't want their lives taken over. I think some schools see sharing goals as a sign of weakness; a sign that they may not be able to do it all in 50 minutes a week with a Halloween and a Christmas Party thrown in for good measure. How do we start? By communication perhaps. Here are a few ways that schools can communicate with parents. I'd love to hear more ideas on this.

10 ways to communicate with parents

1. The Newsletter

Keeping in touch with your customers is not just good business. A fun, attractive newsletter is a great way for a school to motivate students and parents. Does your school have a newsletter? What sort of stuff does it include? Does it end up under the car seat or lovingly kept in a folder and treasured?

2. The Transparent Curriculum

Clearly stating the school’s goals gives everyone something to aim for. The curriculum should not be a closely guarded secret formula but should be available for everyone to refer to. How much do your students and their parents know what you have in store for them?

3. The Homepage

Nearly all students now have access to a home computer and this is a great way to reach them and their parents. Good school homepages have all sorts of information, news, games, activities and links to other learning sites.

4. The Starter Pack

Getting students and parents off to the right start is really important. Informing parents about the benefits of home study will help everyone. The starter pack should include all sorts of tips for home study as well as explaining the school’s goals and expectations.

5. The Open Class Day

Having one or more open classes a year is really motivating for students and, although pretty hard work for teachers, it gives parents an idea of what their children are doing every week. Open Class Days are a chance to perform something that students have been practicing. They give everyone a chance to show off. They are also the single best way to generate pressure and misery in teachers! What about your experiences? I think most of us have done 3 Billy Goats Tongue-Tied.

6. The Parent Workshop

Holding a parent workshop where the school shares ideas with parents about home study can be really fun. This can take many forms and is a great way for a school to network in the community.

7. The Report

Feedback is important for everyone. Without being too judgmental, it is always possible to give some useful feedback and tips for further progress. Even if it is just a short comment written on the students’ attendance cards, it’s a good idea to show students and parents that the school cares about them as individuals.

8. The Ceremonies and Certificates

Every kid likes to be told that they are great and most parents love to see their kids getting a certificate. Sniff, sniff! Pass the hankies!

9. The Advice

When parents feel that the school is approachable, they will be much better able to help their kids. Schools should make it clear that they are happy to give advice on the telephone, by fax, email or even in person.

10. The Homework

The easiest way to encourage your students to work on their English at home is to give them homework. Do you or don't you?

10 pieces of advice schools we might give parents. I'm sure you have more to add to this list.

1. Be positive (but don’t push too hard)

Parents have to be a bit clever here. Although nobody can help as much as supportive parents, nothing puts kids off quicker than pushy ones.

2. Do just a little… every day

There is a Japanese expression chiri mo tsumoreba yama to naru which translates as “If you pile up the dust, you’ll have a mountain”. Make English-time a part of the day’s routine.

3. Create an English environment

Have English-language books, videos and other such stuff around the house. Some parents put up posters and some even label the things in the house with their English names. This is very helpful when you can’t find the refrigerator.

4. Think globally

Bringing up globally aware kids will prepare them for international communication. I mean, that's the point, isn't it? If you can interest your children in people and places around the world you are laying the foundations for using English to communicate in the future.

5. Learn together

Children follow role models and a parent who becomes interested in language learning will likely be a help and inspiration to their kids.

6. Share your ideas with other parents

Learning English is not a competition (or at least it shouldn’t be!). When you find some good methods or materials, share them with other parents. Remember, what goes around, comes around!

7. Visit English bookshops and libraries

A great place to get ideas. The staff will be happy to help and for those far from a big city, there’s always Amazon.

8. Watch, listen and surf

Turn your TV, CD player and computer into your teaching assistants. There are no shortage of great materials out there waiting for you.

9. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes

Fear of making mistakes prevents more people from learning English than anything else. Unfortunately, some language schools capitalize on this fear. Don’t worry! There is no ‘standard’, ‘correct’ English. Just dive in! Or not?

10. Ask a teacher for advice.

Or not? How approachable are you?

Conclusion

Students, teachers and parents should support each other to reach shared goals, shouldn't they? When everyone knows what these goals are, everyone can work together. Too often, only teachers and students are involved. The home support is not there. Implementing all of these ideas will not be possible for most teachers or parents but given the time, the energy and the financial resources, these are some of the things we could hope for in an ideal world. Involving parents is a surprisingly contentious issue for a number of reasons, not least that it involves an initial investment of hard work to put such ‘systems’ in place.

There are also arguments that students should take responsibility for their own learning. Your experience may have lead you to consider that parents should be kept firmly at arms length and do way more harm than good. We've all had good and bad experiences with parents. What do you think? Is it worth getting them involved or not? I'd love to hear people's ideas and stories on this one.

Happy Birthday to a Truly Magnificent Co-author

This is Sue my co-author who some of you will have heard me raving on about. I'm so lucky to have been working on a writing project with her for the last couple of years. I'd say we're a pretty good team by now. Funnily enough we were a pretty good team from the moment we met. She makes it all a lot of fun even when the going gets tough (not that it ever really does). Apart from being a genius author and a seriously dab hand with an excel spreadsheet Sue does the most amazing quilts and beadwork you ever saw in your life. You wouldn't believe the stuff she makes! She must be the best beader on the ELT circuit by far, even beading her way through high-level editorial meetings. Says it helps her concentrate. Sue also does amazing work rescuing dogs and engaging in various other charitable activities in Sao Paolo where she lives. When we Skype she is usually more interested to find out how Frosty is than anything else and he sometimes has to be complainingly held up to the webcam so that she can see him. This picture was taken when Sue came to Howth last year for a wonderful week of writing and fun. This weekend Sue just celebrated quite a significant birthday. Happy Birthday, Sue! Thank you for being such a great co-author, teacher and friend.

A Magnificent Beast.

We climbed the Sugarloaf on Sunday. You could see all the way to Wales. Clear as clear. That's Howth in the far distance looking small. Took pictures of everyone but I think you'll agree this one turned out the best. I suppose he is a West Highland Terrier after all. Way to go, Frosty! Och aye!

Good Couples

Apologies to the many of you who have been waiting for months for news from the Potato Diaries. I've been waiting for something really special to come along and here it is! This video comes from Japan where someone has created a new version of the Good Friends song for their wedding video. What Sweet Potatoes!

Happy Easter All!

Richard's Boots

Pals in Thailand

Thanks to Paul and Pun and all the students of the Good Child Foundation in Chanthaburi, Thailand. Looking forward to more!

A new member of the family!

Meet Frosty!

Happy New Year!

We had a nice surprise last night. Ami and Kai had their last meal of the noughties outside in the snow.

My Best Christmas Present

Potato Mechakucha

Pals in Turkey

Potato Pals have quite a following in Turkey. Two years ago we got a great picture of a teacher who had made Potato Pals that grew grassy hair. In the past week we have been in touch with two other teachers from Turkey via Twitter, Ms. Esra (@ekamin) who has a blog as well as some great artists in her class.
Another teacher who is using Potato Pals is Ms. Ozge, (@ozge)who has a huge amount of really creative stuff online including this wonderful version of In the Morning made with photos of her students. Thanks to both of you for your support. I pinched this cute picture off Ozge's blog because I think that's one big red Potato Pal in the middle row.

Buddy Wayne Rooney

Congratulations to Manchester United's Wayne and Coleen Rooney on the birth of their son, Kai Wayne Rooney. I knew there was something familiar about Buddy. Waddyathink? Some relation SURELY!

Friends or relations?

Ami had a great time making these on the beach. Thanks to Mark for sending the pictures. Which one do you like best? Do you think they rock?