The Parent's Guide to College Drinking... facing the challenge together

The Parent’s Guide

to

College

Drinking

…facing the challenge together

By Jim Matthews, M.Ed.

Published by James Matthews at Smashwords

Copyright 1995, 2001 by James Matthews

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without prior written permission from the author.

Dedicated to all the devoted parents of college students – past, present, and future

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 Influences in the Home

Chapter 2 Discussing Drinking

Chapter 3 High School Drinking

Chapter 4 Family History

Chapter 5 Campus Tours

Chapter 6 Alcohol Education and Abuse Prevention

Chapter 7 The Red Zone

Chapter 8 Academics

Chapter 9 Student Health

Chapter 10 Student Activities

Chapter 11 Policy Violations]

Chapter 12 Alcohol Education

Afterword

Appendix A Tips for Discussing Drinking

Appendix B Alcohol Agreement

Appendix C Key Personnel

Appendix D Key Questions

Appendix E College Packing List

Appendix F Identifying Alcohol Problems

Appendix G Blood Alcohol Level

About the Author

Introduction

College is one of life’s most amazing experiences, full of discovery about oneself and the world, the development of lifelong relationships, and the many rewards of achievement and personal growth.

But succeeding in college today requires more than good grades. According to research summarized in a College Task Force report to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), the consequences of excessive drinking by college students are more significant, more destructive, and more costly than many parents realize. And these consequences affect students whether or not they drink. Consider the fact that one in four college students fails to complete the first year, and only two of the three remaining students actually graduate.

Since a college education for your children will be one of the largest financial investments your family will undertake, comprehensive research of prospective colleges is critical in determining how the campus culture could impact your child’s health, safety, and academic success.

There is plenty about college drinking that must be confronted. Researchers have documented in recent years that students who engage in binge drinking are far more likely to miss classes, injure themselves, damage property, engage in unprotected sex, and get in trouble with the police. And non-drinkers suffer, too, reporting a higher incidence of second-hand binge effects such as assault, unwanted sexual advances, interrupted study or sleep, and damaged property. A campus with a high-risk drinking atmosphere can have a direct influence on the drinking choices of new students and a dramatic negative impact on a student’s college experience. And students who attend campuses where there is heavy drinking will more than likely be impacted by the heavy drinking of other students.

But parents can take a proactive approach and provide the support and coping skills needed to succeed - even before these young adults set foot on campus. An ongoing dialogue, including accurate information and clear expectations, will provide your teen with the support and guidance necessary for facing the challenges of college drinking.

Return to Table of Contents

Chapter 1 - Influences in the Home

PARENTS:

How can I best prepare my daughter for all that pressure to drink in college? We drink at home once in awhile, but just a glass of wine now and then or maybe my husband has a beer on a Saturday afternoon. I hope we have been good role models.

Everywhere you look, either in the magazines or on television, it seems like there is an alcohol ad. And the movies make drunks look comical rather than like people who could be in real trouble. How do I counteract this constant barrage of misinformation about drinking?

STUDENTS:

My parents had a party the other night. I saw three people leave who were really drunk. How can they tell me not to drink when it is clear they are clueless about booze?

I just graduated from college. Although I drank in college, I never really got into the party life. My younger brother is graduating from high school soon. My parents want me to provide him with some suggestions about avoiding drinking problems. What should I say?

My parents are divorced. My mother drinks a lot and my father drinks once in a while. They both have told me not to drink until I am twenty-one. I think I can be more responsible than either of them and I am only eighteen.

Parents have many responsibilities when it comes to raising children. When children are young, parents must provide for all their needs and offer guidance in every facet of their lives. As children grow, so does their independence. They begin to spend more time with friends and are faced with many decisions they must make without the guiding hand of their parents. When a child graduates from high school and prepares to go off to college, a parent may feel as if they have done all they can do and now they must simply hope their child makes the right choices. Yet during high school and even the first post-high school years, parents still have many occasions to share information that will help their child succeed.

Parents can truly make an impact on a child’s attitude toward alcohol through an awareness of their own drinking behaviors and by modeling low-risk consumption or abstinence. They can also utilize teachable moments such as watching an alcohol commercial or news program with their child, or talking honestly about an alcohol-related tragedy that befalls the family. Discussions about the dangers and consequences of underage drinking, combined with conversations regarding the appropriate use of alcohol, will provide a balanced, healthy view of drinking for the teen.

And remember: the way your child eventually responds to college challenges will largely depend on his experiences at home – long before he even gets to college.

Role Modeling

Children first learn about alcohol in and around the home, whether it be while sharing dinner with their parents, watching relatives at a family gathering, or listening to drinking stories from an older sibling.

Consider the role alcohol plays in your own home.

- Is there a happy hour at home?

- Is alcohol used to celebrate?

- Is alcohol used to relieve stress?

- Is there a heavily stocked liquor cabinet in the house, or are cases of beer stacked in the garage?

- Does anyone drive after drinking?

Although none of the above factors necessarily indicates a problem, these and other factors in the home can influence a child’s choices.

Children learn by observing the people around them, especially their parents. It is of critical importance that you provide your child with examples of a healthy attitude about alcohol. In particular, your own