How To Straighten Up Your Act In One Week & Keep The Money In The Country

SMASHWORDS EDITION

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PUBLISHED BY

Skip Haynes on Smashwords

How To Straighten Up Your Act In One Week

& Keep The Money In The Country

or How to get out from behind the 8-ball

Copyright 2011 Skip Haynes

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be

re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with

another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If

you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use

only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

You can’t sell bananas with a monkey on your back

The first time I ever heard this phrase was twenty years ago at four o’clock in the morning, snorting cocaine across the table from my dealer — to whom I had just paid several hundred dollars for the cocaine that was deviating my septum (technical talk for a hole in your head where all the money goes). Yet again, I was the only one snorting. He never indulged. I asked him why. He said, (and I quote) ’cause you can’t sell bananas with a monkey on your back. It took me years to figure this out. This book is the result.

I’ve been happily living a clean banana-selling lifestyle since 1985 using the principles outlined in this book. I now count on feeling good when I wake up in the morning. That’s all.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

Cocaine

A Day In The Life

Addiction Friction

Your Environment

Talking To The Mirror

Getting Out From Behind The 8-Ball

Did You Know?

Food For Thought

The Program

Personal Support

About the Author

• • • THE END • • •

jerk n. (jurk) (14c): anyone who consciously and purposely, ruins their health,

relationships, job, sanity and outlook on life while they’re supposed to be having fun

but aren’t — and pays for and defends the right to do so!

• • • INTRODUCTION • • •

YOU ARE A JERK!

That’s right. Read it again!

You are a jerk!

You’re not a jerk because you’re not a nice person, you are a jerk because you’ve got a problem you want to do something about and you’re not doing it.

You snort too much!

You drink too much!

You smoke too much!

You take pills too much – or any of the other wonderful things you are doing to your head, your body and life.

You think you’re having a good time. You’re not! Keep this up much longer and you’re going to die. That’s right, party animal. You’re dead meat.

This is why you’re a jerk. Pretty soon you’ll be a dead jerk.

You don’t have to be a jerk. You probably don’t even want to be. You’re just a little confused as to how to go about changing your status.

All you need is some decent support and a push in the right direction – your compass being on the blink. An outline that isn’t too difficult that will help you have fun while you’re having a good time again – a weekly workout as it were.

This is a small, easy to read book about how to stop being a jerk and stay alive as long as you are supposed to — and enjoy doing it! The print is real big so the words don’t cross, even if you’re zonked out of your gourd, so being too high is no excuse for not being able to read it. Depending on the intensity and reasons for your particular jones this book will show you how to repair the damage done or, at the very least, straighten up your act long enough to get some outside help if that’s what you need because doing it at home is beyond your scope at the present time.

It All Starts With You.

You screwed up your life. Now you’ve got to unscrew it. You, yourself. Period.

You never paid anyone to get high for you, did you? It works the same the other way around. You can’t pay anyone to get straight for you either. That’s why this is an undo-it-yourself book. That’s the only way it works.

The reason I know you can do it yourself, is because I did it myself.

If a marginally psychopathic rock n’ roll singer who didn’t know out that baggies