Sex: Person? Or Performance?

Sex: Person? Or Performance?

Copyright 2014 Jack Exum

Smashwords Edition

All Rights Reserved

Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International VersionR NIVR Copyright C 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.T Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.T

License: This book is for your personal growth and enjoyment only. You may not resell this book or give it away. This book or any portion thereof may not be copied without permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations of fifty words or less. If you would like to share this book with others, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Description: First printed in 1976, and now some 38 years later we look at where we are, and find that we are still in need for an honest, ‘straight shooting’ discussion on the subject of HUMAN SEXUALITY with our young people. In some ways, we are improving. There are more (open) discussions on these things, but still there is much to be done.

In too many cases, we are seeing the results of our failures. How many books have been written on this subject? Do a search for yourself in Christian Book Stores and you will find few books which address this subject. We lean on writings from others. Is this because we have no one qualified? I hardly think so. Perhaps it is because we are afraid of what others might say. Whatever the reason, we can little justify the ‘silence among the sheep’ on this subject at a time such as this.

Consider again, the pressures facing our young people. Are the pressures to conform and be like the others any less than when we were teenagers? If the survey Dad took were taken again, what would be the percentages? I dare say the percentages would not have changed that much, and perhaps may be more surprising.

The challenge still faces us, and the cry of our young people is still, I need to talk with one who understands, or study material that will help straighten out my thinking. The urgent need remains, Would you please put something on paper, that kids like me could use in understanding life? The cry of our young people still echoes in the words, Oh, Brother Jack, PLEASE HELP!

Much of it was discussed with us as he wrote. Changes were made, (Mom made sure of that), but the material is still poignant and touching, and VERY MUCH NEEDED… our young people are hurting from the lack of Christian materials available, and even more, the lack of real communication with their parents.

Let’s change this, and hopefully this edition of SEX: PERSON? OR PERFORMANCE? will help. This is my prayer.

(Please note: Some materials have been re-written due to copyright respect.)

Cover Photo: Author Earl Chinnici created the cover for this edition of Sex: Person? Or Performance? using a photo he captured May 8, 2014 at Alligator Lake in Lake City, Florida.

An Unusual Dedication

"Dear brother Jack,

I’ve never discussed my not being a virgin with anyone except my very best friend. She doesn’t understand because she thinks sex is a laughing matter. I’m serious about sex because I’m not a virgin, and haven’t been one for almost a year and a half. I’m (under 15) years old and am really ashamed. I enjoy sex very much and really don’t have the will power to stop having it. It’s hard to refuse when you are in a nice house with a bed and a guy you think you are in love with.

Last summer I thought I was pregnant. I only told two people, my best friend and the guy at the time that I was dating. When I told him, he said it was my fault. I got myself into it, and I could get myself out! You know, Brother Jack, I really thought I was in love with him, for he talked so nice and sweet before, but when this happened, he didn’t care about me even if I were carrying his child.

I am trying so hard to live the Christian life, but I feel ashamed and dirty because I’ve played the fool and not a virgin anymore. He took from me, more than he could ever replace. I need to talk with one who understands or study material that will help straighten out my thinking. We you please put something on paper, that kids like me could use in understanding life. You won’t remember me, but I was one of the kids in a recent meeting. Oh, Brother Jack, please HELP!!

In Christian love and fellowship,

(Signed)

Dedication: May this study, in some way, be a simple answer to this and hundreds of letters like this one that I have received. — Jack Exum

Foreword: This Book Is Not For Just Everybody

Every book written (including this one), is not necessarily meant for everyone. Three hundred new books each month roll off the press. Some make it – some do not. Some are meaningful, while some are not. Yet each one has a distinct message – written for some prime purpose.

In many ways, books are like life. If they serve well, they can’t ‘miss’. If they meet a genuine need, success finds them, lifts them, and hails them. The amount of success in life is directly related to the amount of service one renders. It is essentially the same with books.

This study book is late in coming. I have thought many years about putting something together on this particular theme. Yet months have passed – years have flown by and no effort has been made by this scribe to serve. The real key that turned the lock was a survey I conducted in 1976, our Bicentennial year. Thousands of our own (Churches of Christ) teenagers were asked 16 penetrating questions. Without names, they gave straight answers to tough questions. The results were staggering!

Of those taking the survey, 98% were active members of the body of Christ. They were practicing Christians. Almost without exception, each one attended most, if not all the services conducted by their congregation. A fair proportion (64%) admitted to having a fixed habit of prayer. Only 14% had ever tried pot – 1% had been addicted to heavier drugs.

While there were many ‘positives’, there were also a number of serious problems (negatives) revealed. The average age that responded was 16. Yet some 65% had seriously experimented with alcoholic drinks. An alarming 36% admitted that they had allowed sexual experiences to ‘get out of hand’ and go too far. An equal number (36%) felt that abortion (even when a mother’s health or rape, were not involved) was just a matter of personal choice. These were not church-less-Christ-less-worldly teenagers. These were our sons and daughters. They dared to be honest – to tell the truth of how they personally felt and they revealed a most desperate need.

This surly, along with a growing realization that someone – somewhere had better open his Bible, get an honest print out of truth in regards to this subject, caused me to write it. I know at the beginning that some will not appreciate my efforts. I know that some will feel that this kind of intimate study has no place among Christian people. Yet the survey showed that 84% of all the teenagers had never had a serious in-depth discussion with either or both parents on this vital theme.

Sex education truly belongs in the home. However, it is an obvious fact that among the vast majority of our own people, the task is not even being touched, much less tackled; someone had better risk – someone had better dare!

It is the hope of the author that this book will serve in at least three ways.

1.) As a study book for young people, who want to deal fairly and honestly with some basic questions about life. This book will always point the student to the Word of God, where with an open Bible and an open heart, the right answers can be found.

2.) I hope this book will be used by those mature enough to join together in a proper classroom setting for work and discussion. If we can just forget ourselves, and study this material in an objective fashion, no one would ever be embarrassed, and all edified.

3.) Most importantly, I hope that this book will help meet the needs for which it is intended. To be read, and used in many homes, as a guidebook, opening the ‘doors’ of genuine communication between parents and children (especially teenagers).

I ask for your understanding in the reading and study of this material. If you feel at times, it is too bold, or evasive; too strong or too weak, just imagine the difficulty of writing such a book for everyone on this sensitive subject. Bypass the author, forget yourself, drop the artificial guards and mental blocks (false hang-ups), and study one of the most intriguing and beautiful subjects in this world, HUMAN SEXUALITY.

Moses said it well, when he records that during the Creation (Genesis 1), God said six times, It is good. One of these times was when He created animals and man. When God said, it is not good, it was in regards to man being alone, (Genesis 2:18). This book will primarily look at the good and