Negotiating Skills In a Day For Dummies

Introduction

You negotiate all day long, in every situation you ­encounter — with your boss or your employees, with your vendors or your clients, with your spouse or your kids, and even with the plumber who comes to your house to fix the leaky faucet. All of these relationships and interactions require negotiation skills. In other words, a negotiation is any communication in which you’re attempting to achieve the approval, acquiescence, or action of someone else. The information in Negotiation Skills In A Day For Dummies applies just as much to the once-in-a-lifetime, million-dollar deals you may experience as the one-minute negotiations of regular life.

What You Can Do In A Day

No matter how you perceive your negotiation skills today, they can be stronger tomorrow. And your progress can start with this book. Negotiation Skills In A Day For Dummies is a quick shot of negotiation basics that you can pick up in about a day’s time. By understanding the six essential skills needed for negotiating, you can become a strong and successful negotiator with clarity, confidence, and a willingness to walk away from a bad deal.

If you think of negotiating as a sport, you can use this book as a manual to improve your game. I’ve even structured the content in such a way that you can jump in and out of the text as necessary. For example, if you’re a good listener but need help setting limits and sticking to them, read Chapter 2. If you’ve been shocked by a final response to a long negotiation, find tips for reading body language and other nonverbal cues in Chapter 4. If closing is your weak spot, check out Chapter 6. Or, of course, just read this book straight through; it’s doable in a day! But expect to spend years — possibly your entire career — honing these negotiating skills.

Foolish Assumptions

This book can help if any of the following descriptions apply to you:

check.png You’re beginning a new career and need to brush up your negotiation skills.

check.png You’re seeking a new job or a raise.

check.png You’re a seasoned negotiator who feels a bit off your A game and you’re striving to sharpen your skills.

check.png You’re a teacher searching for a way to motivate students to follow your directions.

check.png You’re a team player who wants a specific win in an upcoming negotiation.

Icons Used in This Book

The content of this book includes a few icons. These little pictures guide you to certain types of information.

tip_4c.eps This icon denotes honest tricks of the trade, shortcuts, and loopholes. Look for these icons to save time, money, and face in your next negotiation.

warning_4c.eps This icon marks the dirty tricks that sharks may try to play on you. Don’t fall prey to these pitfalls — and avoid using these nasty tactics yourself.

remember_4c.eps Just looking for the basics? This icon emphasizes information that you should absolutely, positively keep in mind at all times if you want to be a successful negotiator.

5minuteexercise.eps Understanding the theory is great, but you can’t develop negotiation skills without putting them into practice. Take a break from the text for a quick exercise designed to help you get a better grasp of negotiating.

exploresomemore.eps When you see this icon, head to this book’s companion website at www.dummies.com/inaday/negotiationskills. Online, you can find more-detailed information about the topics I touch on in this book.

Chapter 1

Knowing What It Takes to Negotiate

In This Chapter

arrow Applying the six basic skills of negotiating

arrow Preparing for a negotiation with research

arrow Beginning a negotiation

Negotiating is a way to get what you want out of life; it’s not a skill to put into play just when you need to make a deal. Whether you realize it or not, you negotiate all day long — with your co-workers, your neighbors, your spouse, your kids. Any time you ask someone to say yes or to do something for you, you’re negotiating.

If you’re attempting to resolve a dispute, agree on a course of action, or bargain for advantage, you’re in a negotiation, and the goal is to reach an agreement that works for all the engaged parties. Even if your dreams or the numbers on your paycheck seem to hinge on forces beyond your control, you can create a master plan for your life and achieve your goals — one negotiation at a time.

In this chapter I summarize the six skills of negotiating and then focus on the first and possibly most vital of them all: preparation. I point out why preparation is important to successful negotiations and offer tips for how to prepare for a negotiation.

Six Steps of Negotiating

No matter how large or small, how important or minor, how near or far, a negotiation involves six basic steps. You can refine your delivery skills over time and fortify them with additional techniques and strategies, but your ability to execute these six steps is essential:

1. Prepare.

2. Set limits and goals.

3. Be clear.

4. Listen.

5. Pause.

6. Close the deal.

In fact, this basic six-step process applies to many areas of life — not just business. Try using this formula for everyday interactions. It can help you reach better agreements with business partners and family.

Getting prepared

In negotiation, like many pivotal areas of business, preparation is the bedrock of success. You can’t be overprepared for a negotiation. Whether you’re negotiating for a new job or trying to win a major client, you must educate yourself about the situation and decide what you want to achieve before you sit down at the negotiating table. Heck, just figuring out what you actually want takes some work.

Establishing goals and limits

The only way to