Intuition: Language of the Soul: Book One

PREFACE

From Tibet to Sinai

Our future is not set in stone; we have more than one. My journey as a clairvoyant took me to dimensions both worldly and otherwise. The most important lesson being: make Heaven your partner.

On the night I left this world, I dreamt that I was walking with people of different ages and races. We descended down a circular path in silence. Suddenly, we began an ascent towards a ceiling of indigo lightening. I could see many levels with gates. Once I reached my floor I walked into a space where I perceived people as forms of light, communicating telepathically with one another through colored rays projected from their hearts. And though it was a place of bliss, I was miserable and wanted to leave. I missed my twin sister. I knew these people were no longer alive and I did not want to ruin the pure atmosphere with my negative energy, so I looked for a place to hide, clutching my knees to my chest and praying with all my might. A beautiful woman about seven feet tall appeared and scooped me up in her arms. She kissed my forehead and . . . moments later, I woke up in my bed.

I told my boyfriend at the time that I had died but was sent back. I described the place in detail and then I repeated the words I had heard while I was there, whispering them over and over like a mantra: Ribbono shel Olam (Master of the Universe).

Two days later, I was in the emergency room at Overlake Hospital, where they discovered I had lost two-thirds of my body’s blood. I was literally dying. My hematocrit (the volume percentage of red blood cells in the blood) was 13 percent (the normal level for a woman ranges from 38 to 45 percent). The emergency medical team that worked on me shook their heads in disbelief at my chart and blood pressure count. The technician at the hospital had never seen a conscious person with a number that low. The doctors gave me only hours to live.

Later, during my recovery, doctors rationalized that my body must have learned to adjust with little oxygen, akin to a mountain climber in the Himalayas. Well, that is one way of looking at a miracle! (Which two oncologists said I was.) One thing for sure: I was not going to go back to the way things were before.

Shortly after midnight on Friday, November 21, 2008, I removed the amulet on my neck, a gift from my former guru, and held my arm out to receive a blood transfusion that lasted until eight o’clock the next morning. Believe it or not, while this was going on, I requested for and ate an entire chicken. No small act, considering I had been a vegetarian for ten years. But I was determined to make it, and I figured the meat would give me strength.

Then I recalled a prayer I had heard my father say when I was a child: Ani Ma’amin, which was sung by Jews in the cattle cars on the way to the concentration camps. It means I believe redemption will come, and I felt these words in my Soul. As the words came out of my lips and the blood went into my veins, I felt myself returning to the world—and I remembered the message from the other side: We are never alone, we are loved, and heaven has a better plan for us then we see ourselves.

Even if we are clairvoyant.

You have a body and a soul, which have completely different natures, a duality that needs to be integrated in order to fulfill your purpose in life. Before incarnating into your body, your soul made a vow to be holy.

Still . . .

Most of us stumble through life, stuck in patterns. By continuing on the course we set for ourselves long ago, determining the future is more of connect-the-dots. When we are headed in a direction that will seriously hinder our destiny, the Creator will set circumstances in motion to help align us back to our path. Sometimes these events are shattering and painful. We think we are being punished, and it is impossible to see any good in the experience. It may take years—or lifetimes—before the gifts from such events are revealed. However, there will come a time when the picture will be clear. A certain portion of our destiny is preordained—parents, particular gifts, and encounters with others—that will either assist or hinder us in fulfilling our purpose. Fortunately, since we have been given free will, referred to as bechira in Hebrew, we also choose the path we walk on, and these choices set realities into motion that contain both the DNA of our soul’s mission and the keys to carry it though.

But what path do you walk? How do you choose?

Start by recognizing that you have a spark of the Creator within you. It is the soul’s Divine inheritance to connect straight to this infinite Source. But where and how do we begin?

Our body is the vehicle with which our soul interacts with the world. The longer the soul stays in the physical body, the more it forgets its vow of holiness, until all that is known is the pull of this world. This amnesia can last a lifetime, or only temporarily block your soul from its true purpose. It depends on how much the soul is introduced to meaning doing it’s time on earth. That is the aim of this book; to remind your soul what it knows is true.

Think of your fingers. How much significance do you attribute to these digits? Fingers can help bring a new life into this world, plant food, communicate, show love, and create beauty. Because they hold such great potential in creation, so too is their effect on destruction. It is the finger that pulls the trigger and destroys a world. Imagine the rest of your body and what extraordinary effects it can have on reality.

The finger is the opening to understanding your soul. When you understand what your finger can do, you can begin to realize the full impact of your presence here, which is temporary.

Our actions during our lifetime translate into the clothing the soul will wear in the world to come. I know because I have seen these garments of Light. Having left this world for a brief time, I can affirm that the soul lives on.

A Note about This Book

The word soul generally refers to the spiritual part of a person’s being. This book explains how there is a feminine aspect (neshama) of a being’s spirit, as well as an instinctive, male aspect (nefesh), which I often describe as the animal soul. As I discuss this duality in chapter 1, you will notice soul often refers to the feminine, spiritual soul, individually. At times, it may also refer to either the feminine or the masculine aspects as complementary but—for the sake of discussion—separate souls, or it may refer to both male and female aspects integrated together as a single unit. This is deliberate, and the intended meaning should be clear from the context. Another detail to keep in mind: in my writing you will see many references to Jewish tradition, such as the practice of not spelling the name of G-d or alluding to Him with various other names.

I am descended from an ancient mystical lineage, traced back to the original high priest, Aharon, as well as King David. Nevertheless, many years passed before I fully understood the significance and obligations of such ancestry, and what it could teach me on how to live. First, I had to embark on a spiritual journey from Tibet to Sinai. My odyssey led me to train with Tibetan monks and a Grand Master healer, traversing the maze of psychic phenomena. All the while, I was ignoring my body and material needs.

Only when I reached the spiritual highs and realized I had no physical way to live, that my body was dying, could I escape the quicksand. I grabbed a hold of the strings of my ancestors, realizing the lessons they had to offer. In doing so, I could finally begin to heal.

CHAPTER ONE

Reconciling Your Spiritual and Animal Souls

I was driving with my loved one when I saw, through my window, a monkey in a building where animals were kept. We stopped in front of the building and I went inside. Many creatures of strange sizes and looks rushed to greet me. I sat down to play with them, when suddenly a large owl began biting me. When I asked it to stop, the owl turned into a beast with ginger fur, orange as flames, angry that he was kept in a cell while his brother, Man, roamed free . . .

Main Misconceptions

I often come across two common misconceptions:

We are separate from G-d.

We must sacrifice the desires of the body in order to be spiritual.

Regarding the first misconception, my response is simple: how can we be separate from that which we derive? Is a cell separate from other cells—from the living organism of which it is a part? Is a star separate from a galaxy—within galaxy, within universe? What happens when a cell thinks it is independent from other cells? When it disregards its connection and goes rogue? It begins to function abnormally, becoming diseased and eventually destroying itself and the vehicle it feeds off. I liken this to the ego that believes it exists independently.

Divinity is within; we are never separate from our Creator.

Numerous individuals have overcome unbelievable hardships under the toughest conditions. When you speak with these impressive Souls or hear the interviews, the unifying thread is the strength of their faith and connection to the Divine.

Regarding the second misconception: the erroneous belief that in order to be spiritual, one has to sacrifice the needs of the body. Not only is it impractical to ignore one aspect of ourselves, it even denies the reality of our existence.

We have come to this world to balance and build our spiritual essence along with our physical bodies. There is no shortcut to achieving this balance if we are to function sustainably. Our lower and higher natures contain intense yearnings of opposing forces, creating a life-long internal struggle. The spiritual soul does not desire food or pleasure, but without these things our physical bodies cannot go on living. Likewise, without the spiritual soul, the animal soul finds no peace, no purpose to life. We all have a little bit of a beast within us, which becomes a problem when we do not exercise it through the right channels. We have a body that has inherent desires and needs. Our essence and purpose in life is to integrate our instinctive nature with our intrinsic holiness.

The Struggle

According to the Tanya, the core document in the study of Hassidic and Kabbalistic thought and a practical guide for living in service of the Almighty, this is the life-long struggle between two cities. These ‘cities’ represent the two souls that live within us: the animal soul that on its own will always choose what feels pleasurable, even when it is poisonous, and our spirit, which only desires to go back to the Light.

This duality also corresponds to raw and refined energy, with raw energy correlating with the animal soul and refined energy correlating with the Divine soul. Uniting these opposing natures only takes place here, in this world. When we die, the conflict is over: they separate and return to their place of origin—the body to the earth, and the spirit to a dimension we know as Heaven.

Intuition creates a bridge between raw and refined energy, allowing your soul’s duality to integrate. The physical aspect often receives more attention and energy (and rewarded by society for doing so). However, when the body commits an action that conflicts with its divine nature, our soul weeps. Though most of us cannot hear, we feel the pain in varying degrees. When you access your intuition, it enables you to direct your instinctive nature, to align its actions with the requirements of your spirit. Believe me, whether you realize it consciously or not, every individual inherently knows the needs of their soul.

One night my boyfriend appeared to me in a dream, encapsulated within a silver energy field, or aura. He told me, I am the soul of X. You will recognize me through this body that clothes me. Please, tell this body that its actions are causing me to grieve. Then he told me in detail what, exactly, his body was up to when I was not around.

I woke up, looked at my partner (we will call him ‘X’) asleep in our bed and thought, Nah . . . just a nightmare, and fell back asleep. Once again, my X’s spirit appeared before me, this time pleading I speak with his body, which was deaf to his cries. When morning came and I told my partner about my dream, you would not have needed to be psychic to know that he was shocked. He confessed immediately.

Years later, when I studied the Tanya Chassidic Kabbalah (Jewish mysticism) and I reached where it speaks of being born with two souls that are polar opposites of each other, I did not need convincing.

Understanding the Animal: Betrayal

Until every individual has elevated and channeled his or her animal instincts to more conscious choices, at some point we will experience betrayal or, worse, betray someone else. And the arrow usually comes from or goes to those we care about the most: our core primary relationships, the ones that hit us right in the heart. So what can we do? How do we protect ourselves or at least soothe the sting of the pain?

Let us take a look at the life of King David, primary author of the book of Tehillim, the Psalms, for a remedy. Before David becomes king he is bitterly betrayed by King Saul, his mentor and father-in-law. Hunted and scorned by Saul’s armies, vilified unjustly, David has to go into hiding. After battles upon battles, he finally becomes king himself, only to be betrayed by his beloved son, Absalom, who raises an army to kill his king and father. After surviving the heartbreak, including the death of his first son, King David goes home. Shortly after, he sees the beautiful Bathsheba on a rooftop. Incensed with desire, he boldly sends her husband, Uzziah, to the front lines of a heavy battle, knowing it is unlikely he will survive. True to his scheme, Uzziah dies. King David, filled with remorse and in the midst of despair, reaches into his soul—not as a King but as a simple man—and is granted grace. He eventually writes the Psalms from both sorrow and joy. In doing so, he purifies, uplifts, and displays gratitude regarding the miracle and sanctity of life. King David was a great prophet who knew that in the future, humanity would still be struggling with the same core issues of his own time.

The Psalms are keys to opening gates of higher consciousness. Consistently using psalms as a source of prayer helps to refine and direct our