And a-Wa-a-a-a-Ay We Go!: Pint Size Adventures and Ditties from the Road to School

Hello, I’m your bus driver, Roy. Come on in and make yourself at home! Sit anywhere you like, just do it quick; so we can get ourselves going. Ready? All right then, and a-wa-a-a-a-ay we go!

So, I’m just going to tell you up front that my bus is not like any other school bus in the whole wide world. Oh sure, my bus is yellow, has black stripes on the side, maybe a little bit of rust in a spot or two, has those bright flashing lights and stop sign (which actually does mean stop. You know, we bus drivers do take our job seriously! Precious cargo, what ho! And I can assure you that we are not trying to be a road hazard, or make a person late for work...I swear! Oops. Sorry, sidetrack.) Anyway, my bus is different. There’s all sorts of buttons on my bus that no other bus has. I know, because I have talked to all the bus drivers, and my boss, and they all agree...that I might just be a little weird, but that’s another story.

Anyway, even though every year is a new year, things change very little out here amongst the trees, streams, cornfields, and cows. There’s probably a lesson there somewhere. Something about cycles and that a good old fashion routine can save the day and ground us: you know, morning chores. But I don’t understand why every year I have to fight to keep my identity intact. Well, okay, it’s not always about identity, but, every year, I have the same, or similar conversations. Oh, wait a second. Yes? May I help you, Stu Dent?

You’re funny.

No, my name is Roy, but thanks for playing.

Okay. Today, you are Roy Goofy.

I thought you said I was Funny.

That’s Funny. Hey, bus driver, I slipped on the seat.

What?

When you went around the corner back there, I slipped. Your seats are slides.

Yeh, I suppose they are, but if those slides were at my house, they would have to be bigger. You know, one of those two story slides.

Oo, yeh, one a hundred feet tall! You should cut a hole in the roof and put one in the bus.

Yeh, that would be cool, but in the winter, with the hole in the roof?...Well, that would make the pool freeze.

Don’t put ice in it.

Yep, those would be typical, especially on my noontime, four year old kindergartener route. Oh, don’t get me wrong. ALL the kids on ALL of my bus routes are truly great kids, even the smartalecs, but it is the noon time where I get to hear the tales that allow me to visit magical places in the school district: The Bumpy/Bouncy Bridge, Rollercoaster Road, The Bouncy Road, just to name a few.

Oh come on, it’s really not surprising that magical places exist in our school district. It is the second largest by area in our fair state, the glorious state of confusion. All of our bus routes run through farm fields, woods, up and down lots of hills, some really steep, and in the spring, we literally travel through streams and creeks like boats. Some are called rivers, even though they are still really tiny things. I don’t know why. I never asked. I guess, I shall have to investigate some time when I have nothing better to do. Anyway, we encounter lots of wildlife: turkeys, deer, cows that broke free from their pastures, dogs...Oh, did I mention that this bus is being chased by a bear, right now? Yeh, I was told this anyway. Oh, hang on a moment. It’s my identity crisis, again.

Bus driver? How old are you?

I am 650 years old.

Nnnoooo.

Yes, I am.

No, you’re not.

How do you know?

Because you would be dead. No, you’re 350 pancakes.

No, how can I be counting years if I was...what did you say?

Wait! You’re 864 pancakes. Ooh! You’re 150 pancake waffles.

Okay, you’re starting to make me hungry.

Here, bus driver, have a ham sandwich.

Did you say hand sandwich? Sorry, I don’t eat meat.

Okay, then, bus driver...I’m going to eat your seats!

What? Um, okay...I hope