Yes You Can!: Everything You Need from a to Z to Influence Others to Take Action

AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive, Suite 200

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: 1-800-839-8640

© 2009 Stacey Hanke & Mary Steinberg. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 3/30/2009

ISBN: 978-1-4389-0443-6 (sc)

ISBN: 9781463467128

Library of Congress Control Number: 2008906740

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Contents

A: Attitude, Authenticity, Audience

B: Beginnings, Benefits, Body Language

C: Change, Confidence, Consistency

D: Disparity, Disasters

E: Endings, Eyes, Expectations

F: Fear, Facial Expressions, Feedback

G: Gestures, Get to the Point

H: Habits, Humor

I: Introductions, Inflection, Integrity

J: Journey

K: Kids, Knowledge

L: Listening, Lectern

M: Movement, Meetings

N: Notes, Nervousness

O: Objective, Once Upon a Time, Opportunities, Organize

P: Pause, Posture, Practice

Q: Questions, Quotes

R: Reading Your Audience

S: SMART, Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Spontaneity

T: Time

U: Unconscious Competence

V: Visual Aids, Vocal Projection

W: Write it Down

X: X Marks the Spot

Y: Yes You Can

Z: Zero In

Introduction

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

– Norman Vincent Peale

IS THIS BOOK FOR YOU?

We know you can relate to what Norman Vincent Peale said. We also know you can have influence on others. If we are correct, this book is for you.

It is for you if you believe professionals are always in school. You know who you are. You are one who understands there is always something more when it comes to your development.

It is for you if you are one who knows what your strengths and weaknesses are–you are looking for practical techniques to eliminate your weaknesses and to enhance your strengths.

It is for you if you are one who is not aware of your strengths and weaknesses. When you think about people who you consider the best communicators, you never think of yourself. Following the suggestions in this book will change your way of thinking.

CHOICES, CHOICES, CHOICES

Communication is often a succession of choices you make to influence others to take action. The choices you make will influence the level of your success. Those choices include the words you say, the tone of voice you use, the way you stand and much more.

You can probably point to some success in your life when you were at your best at influencing others. Not just good or adequate, but at your best. If someone had been recording you with a stop-action camera and a mind-reading device, you would know exactly what you did, what you said, what you thought (yes, even thoughts play a role). If you re-created all of this in subsequent communications, you could be at your best over and over again. Some of what you did will be obvious. For instance, you knew how to motivate a particular audience by offering benefits that were specific to their interests. Most likely there will be some things that played a part in your success you may not be aware of.

You probably do not think to yourself, Wow, I sure was authentic. No wonder I got the response I wanted. Being authentic does have an impact in getting the response you want from others. This book is about digging deeper and providing everything you need to know from A to Z to reach that pinnacle of success over and over again.

WHAT IS THIS BOOK’S FOCUS?

The primary focus of Yes You Can! is face-to-face communication. Why? It seems to be on the verge of becoming a lost art. Who does not know someone who has sent a text message to the person in the next cubicle asking the person to do something? What a shame, as face-to-face is the most effective way to communicate when you want to influence someone to take action.

The face-to-face situations we address are the meetings you hold, the presentations you give to groups, the face-to-face conversations you have, and any others when you are asking people to take action. What you will find is most of what you will read here will apply to any of those situations. If there is something specific to a particular situation, we will make that distinction.

HOW IS THIS BOOK DESIGNED?

We provide practical ideas from A to Z. We group the ideas by chapters that represent each letter of the alphabet. The ideas within each chapter are not always in alphabetical order but in the order that provides the best flow for the concepts. We recommend you read the A’s first, as the concepts of Attitude, Authenticity and Audience are the foundation for the remainder of the book. After that, skip around when you want. If you are using PowerPoint next week in a presentation, for example, go to the Visual Aids section to get tips for being at your best when you use it. The table of contents shows you what is covered under each letter.

We have identified some of the ideas as essential for any face-to-face interaction. They will be noted by the use of the symbol !. The essential ideas are just that–essential to your ability to be at your best. If you adopt only a few of these essentials, you can still be successful, but not at your very best. The major league baseball pitcher who pitches a shutout is pretty darn good, but he would relish that no-hitter even more. Maybe you are the one who won this year’s award for top sales performer. When you compare your numbers to last year’s and see they are lower, you know you were not at your best.

Throughout this book you will have opportunities to develop your own set of best practices. We invite you to use a pen or pencil as you read this book. Highlight, underline, circle or do anything you need to mark sections you find useful. Throughout the book we will offer our own suggestions for practicing techniques under the heading of Yes You Can! following each chapter. We invite you to add your own ideas. This book will work for you not because of the ideas we give you but because of what you do with them. Ideas do not change a thing; it is only the actions you take around them that are important.

OUR WRITING STYLE

We have worked with thousands of people and have been fortunate to have seen what helps people be at their best when communicating. We will share many of our experiences. We share these experiences because of the value these individuals have brought to us and others. Some of these experiences occurred as we worked together, others occurred to us as we worked individually with others, but we present them as if they all happened to both of us because our experiences are so similar.

We work with groups in workshops and with individuals in one-to-one consultations. We use digital cameras to record them as they practice communication techniques. We play back the disks as a review tool. Many of our comments are as a result of our observations from this technique.

Our style is conversational. We focus on the practical. We want you to be able to take action immediately.

We encourage you to have real conversations with us after you finish the book. We want to hear about your successful face-to-face communication situations. You can share your stories at www.yesyoucanbook.com.

READY?

There is nothing more to say than to ask you to start with the A’s.

A

ATTITUDE !

A: Attitude, Authenticity, Audience

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude or the performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. The first minute is crucial.

– Allan Carr, film producer

The first minute of any type of face-to-face communication is crucial. Your attitude is the foundation for success. After you read this section, ask yourself whether you need to make an attitude adjustment at times.

We frequently hear individuals say about communication situations, I just want to get through this or Once I get past the first minute, I feel comfortable. With these attitudes, what do you think the impact is on their audiences? When someone just wants to get through it, there is a good chance the audience is thinking the same thing.

Have you ever said or thought similar things? When you tell yourself you need a minute to feel comfortable, you may as well tell your audience not to listen for the first minute. If this is your attitude, you may be better off not delivering the message at all. Make an attitude adjustment. Think instead about the valuable information you are going to share with your audience.

There are individuals who are 100 percent convinced the topics they present are boring. They are so convinced of this they often state it out loud. Have you done this? How do you think your message will come across with that attitude? When you feel this way and state it, it is hard to be anything but boring. As others have said, there are no boring topics, only boring speakers. An attitude adjustment is needed.

Another sign you need an attitude adjustment