Control Your Time: Boost Self-Discipline, Build Morning Routine, Be More Productive & Achieve Anything

Chapter 1 –  How to Eliminate Anxiety and Stress

Social anxiety is one of the reasons why individuals lose self-assurance and get nervous being around people. It is a discomfort when someone in public interactions fears of being judged and/or evaluated by other people. Social anxiety is often characterized by an intense fear of what people around them are thinking resulting to a person's thoughts of insecurity and not being good enough to be given attention to. It is also assuming that a person will automatically be rejected.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you feel nervous when you are in public situations, like in parties or just being out in public?

2. Do you often have a hard time participating in social gatherings because of extreme shyness?

3. Do you have the tendency to shy away from people?

4. Do you stress about being embarrassed in social settings?

5. Do you feel like you have little or nothing to contribute in conversations which means you end up not speaking or withdrawing all together?

6. Do you worry about others noticing how anxious you are around them?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be experiencing the signs of social anxiety.

To beat social anxiety, you'll need to master a few strategies.

Challenge your unhelpful thoughts

Your thinking has big influences on your social anxiety issues. Many of these thoughts happen in your subconscious, thus, you are unable to control them, and they can either be negative or unhelpful thoughts. It is important to know that these thoughts stay as mere thoughts. These thoughts do not necessarily need to be factual.

To challenge those negative and unhelpful thoughts, you need to question these thoughts; because the majority of the time, these thoughts are merely based on wrong assumptions.

The first step to challenging your thoughts is to identify that these are negative thoughts. Establish what these negative thoughts are and discuss them in your mind on how you can make a few changes in your way of thinking. What are these negative thoughts?

These are a few of the common negative thoughts that socially anxious people feed their mind with:

Common negative thoughts before coming into the public situations:

I might embarrass myself.

I don't have anything to add in the conversation.

I know I am going to stammer.

I'll appear to be a fool.

Common negative thoughts while engaged in public situations:

They are all looking at me.

I am stammering.

I am useless.

Common unhelpful thoughts after public situations:

Each of them thought I was a fool.

Now they know that I am a fool.

I was not smart enough to maintain the conversation.

Unhelpful thoughts about yourself:

Nobody likes me.

I am not a good conversationalist.

I'm an idiot.

These are only a few examples of negative thoughts that have great impacts on how you deal with social situations. Examine your thoughts. Are the ones listed here the same as your own thoughts?

What you can do

Think about the time when you were socially anxious.

Consider your thoughts while you were in that situation.

Understand and isolate the negative thoughts.

Challenge these thoughts in your head.

Be aware of the common thought patterns that you have.

Recognizing your thought patterns:

Making predictions. If you're socially anxious, it isn't unusual for you to think about the future. You may have the tendency to forecast what might fail. Most of the time, those predictions do not become reality. Which means you end up losing your time and energy worrying.

Taking everything personally. If you're socially stressed, you tend to take all the things that people say personally, even if they do not pertain to you.

Dwelling on negativity.

Techniques to challenge the negative thoughts

To accurately demonstrate, here is an example of a negative thought: I don't have anything to say and they will all think that I am a fool.

Now, you can ask these questions to challenge that negative thought:

Do you have facts to contradict your negative thought?

Do you identify a common pattern?

What do you think your friends would tell you if they realized what your thoughts are?

How will you feel about this situation in half a year?

Is there any other way that you can handle the situation?

Stop focusing on yourself

You might be doing it unconsciously but if you are socially anxious, you tend to focus on how you act in front of the group. You are too concerned about how your anxiety might manifest so you become too mindful that you lose focus on the actual interactions and individuals you are with.

Make an effort to divert your attention to others and not on your own actions. Keep in mind that anxiety is less noticeable than it really is. If you do notice some obvious manifestation, it doesn't follow that something bad might happen. Everyone becomes anxious at some point so don't think that anxiety is isolated to you only.

Do not over-analyze things or situations. Socialization is not meant to be analyzed. Don't even replay parts of the conversation in your thoughts but concentrate on what is taking place in the present.

Figure out how to relax. You don't need to pretend and no need to impress others. Just be yourself.

Chapter 2 - How to Perfect Your Body Language

Communication is a crucial part of anyone's life. It is tough expressing thoughts and emotions if you don't have the methods to.

People talk to one another verbally and nonverbally. Verbal communication is easy to comprehend because you get them as it is. Nonverbal communication consists of body language. By learning to decipher body gestures and being conscious of what others are not saying, you'll have a better understanding of other people. In addition, it helps you communicate more effectively.

Signals make up an enormous chunk of your daily communication. Your facial expressions can say a whole lot even without you opening your mouth. Those things you don't say speak volumes. Experts say that body language makes up about 50% to 70% of all of your communication. Decoding a person's body language is important, but you also have to look for other signs like the context of what the other says.

People often forget about the importance of body gestures because the majority are busy talking and thinking about how they are going to impress the other person to close the deal with a favorable result. When you need to speak or show an important client or business partner, you must be able to control your nervousness and avoid unnecessary body gestures that will come off adversely. In a group, conversations are even more complicated because there palm gestures and other indicators are harder to decipher. Ever before been in a group where two or three individuals appear to talking nonverbally? Have you ever had the feeling that somebody is lying to you? Or was there ever a time when you couldn't believe what the other person was saying?

Figure out how to relax because it also helps relax your brain and that means you can think clearly and you look more confident. When you are self-confident, you can speak clearly and with power. Appearing calm and confident will let you gain your audience's trust and confidence, as well.

Focus on three aspects: your stance, the position of your head, and breathing. Try keeping your shoulders slightly going to the back and your upper body open, this makes breathing easier. Before your talk, you may take tiny deep breaths to help you shake off the nervousness.

The right posture is having your head tilted (but not too much, lest you want to be perceived as arrogant), while your spine and back is straight up. You should look like this whether you are sitting on a chair or standing up. You want to command respect and authority and that means you also need to avoid slouching as it can indicate a nervousness and lack of confidence.

You aren't likely to perfect this position immediately but it pays to practice. Taking benefit of nonverbal indicators when working for your business tractions will go a long way.

Keep in mind that it is not always what the other person is saying that is important; you have to ensure that you know how to decode some of the most common palm gestures and body moves.

Give the body the time it needs to perfect the techniques because it cannot happen over night, you just need to have a whole lot of persistence and dedication to learn. Proper manners can be learned, so does self-confidence. When you have these two aspects in mind, it is simpler to learn and understand body gestures.

Chapter 3 - How to Meditate and Have a Healthier Life

The goal of meditation is to let your body calm while you concentrate on a thought or an empty mind for a set period of time. Contrary to the popular belief that meditation has mystical effects and those who practice it have special powers, note that real meditation is a very simple activity that can free your head of stressful thoughts. Power from meditation is the power to focus on things without being consumed by them. You can practice that relaxation technique using just a few steps:

Sit comfortably on a chair or on the floor in your most comfortable and relaxing position. Do not slouch because it will make you drowsy.

Close your eyes. This can be difficult at first. If you cannot focus by closing your eyes, then you can light a candle and focus your eyes on it.

Do not tense any muscle group. Relax and keep them as such while you concentrate. Breathe naturally to avoid tension.

To help you concentrate more, you can keep your attention on your breathing while you close your eyes or while you focus on the lighted candle.