Turned on and Tuned Out: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Managing Tech Dependence

Turned On

and

Tuned Out

_________________________

A Practical Guide to Understanding and Managing Tech Dependence

JOHN K. KRIGER

Copyright © 2014 John K. Kriger.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-3512-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3513-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3511-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014907862

WestBow Press rev. date: 05/22/2014

Contents

Acknowledgments

Preface

1:   Do .You Remember Your First Computer?

2:   Can You Have Too Much of a Good Thing?

3:   Technology Addiction?

Criterion #1: Failure to Fulfill Major Roles

Criterion #2: Use in Physically Hazardous Situations

Criterion #3: Use Resulting in Legal Problems

Criterion #4: Use Resulting in Social or Interpersonal Problems

Criterion #5: Tolerance – An Increased Desire to Use More

Criterion #6: Withdrawal Symptoms

Criterion #7: Longer Periods of Use Than Intended

Criterion #8: Feeling the Need to Cut Down

Criterion #9: Spending Time Using and Then Recovering From the Use

Criterion #10: Being Less Socially, Occupationally, or Recreationally Involved

Criterion #11: Continuied Use, Even When It Causes Problems

4:   This is Your Brain … This is Your Brain on Technology

5:   Always On

6:   Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll

7:   Networking Nirvana

8:   Technology’s Impact on Education

9:   Turning It Around

Talk to Them!

Model Appropriate Behavior

Mind Mapping

The Power of Imagination

The Importance of Physical Activity

Find a Hobby, and Learn Life Skills

Connect through Real FaceTime

Boundaries, Routines, and Responsible Stewardship

10: Final Thoughts

Step #1: Interpersonal Communication

Step #2: The Art of Social Conversation

Step #3: Making Relationships Work

Step #4: Self-Awareness (and Awareness of the Way You Express Your Emotions)

Step #5: Living Skills

Step #6: Establishing and Knowing Boundaries

Step #7: The Art of Relaxation

Step #8: Creative Thought

Step #9: Managing Emotions

Step #10: Getting a Life

Epilogue: What now?

Suggested Readings

About the Author

Endnotes

To my wife Yvette, the secret to any success I’ve enjoyed in my life and whose encouragement and support allowed me to accomplish anything close to this or many of the other successes I enjoy.

Acknowledgments

Thank you to all of those individuals who helped me make this book a reality. My wife has taught me the value of taking action on things I believe in and completing what I start. Watching her consistent and sustained passion for helping others, I have found a greater meaning in my own life and the motivation for this book. With her steady guidance and continued input, I’ve been able to realize and learn far more than I could ever have accomplished on my own. There is no one I know who gives more of herself, leaving me with no doubt that this world is infinitely better because she is in my life. As my partner and friend, I have watched her give totally of herself to friends, family, and our children to the point of self-sacrifice. She has taught me balance in my life and a greater faith in God, and I am certain that, without her, I would be far less than who I am today.

Thanks to our kids, Bryan, Megan, Gen, and Sam, and our sons-in-law, Kyle and Brent, who all constantly provided me with material to think about as well as their own experiences and insights.

Pat Iyer, thank you for your encouragement, editing, and feedback. Your strong and steady support over the past several years means more than you will ever know. Thanks to Brian Eckenhoff for your editing and attention to the flow of this document. Special thanks to Samantha Kriger. Your final edits and sound guidance on the details helped me to put this book together with attention to details that I would have never seen.

I also want to thank the thousands of individuals who have attended and unselfishly shared their own stories at my seminars, lectures, and classes. I only pray that the information I have learned and shared here and in my sessions is provided with care, respect, and integrity to honor your experiences. I sincerely appreciate all of your help, guidance, and assistance.

Preface

Let’s face it. Technology is everywhere. Today, you would have difficulty functioning without it. From the moment you wake up, technology dominates your days. From your alarm clock to the alarm system you may set before leaving the house to the car you drive and even to the machines you use at work, technology is everywhere!

We have all advanced as a world through the innovation and amazing capacity of technology. I’m sure even Bill Gates didn’t fully envision the impact technology would have on individuals’ day-to-day lives. The impact, capacity, and potential of technology today is almost incomparable to anything else. Technology has almost unlimited potential. However, whether or not that potential is positive or negative largely depends on the individual’s behavior and the influence of the environment in which he lives and works.

This guide provides you with the information necessary to examine and evaluate your own technology use. If you have children, it will give insight into potential hazards and what you can do to offset them. It will help you determine if your home and/or work environments help to create healthy settings from which you and others can appropriately and beneficially interact with today’s technology.

As you read through the material in this guide, look at the potential impact that technology can have on you, your families, the workplace, and society at large. Consider the prevalence of technology in your life and your family as we raise some important questions about the appropriate use of a variety of technological tools.

This guide discusses in detail the signs and stages of both technology abuse and technology dependence. Unhealthy technology use—much like the abuse of drugs or alcohol—begins with abuse and can easily and subtly transition into dependence. The guide provides you with helpful tips and strategies for monitoring and controlling your own technology use.

These tips will help you and others in your life identify if it is a problem and then assist you to regain control of your technology use to reconnect. Technology has many amazing and wonderful uses, and this manual exists to help you evaluate your usage of technology so you can maintain a healthier and balanced life.

Currently, I have the pleasure of traveling around the country, meeting wonderful people, hearing lots of stories, and providing training programs on various aspects of technology dependence. With my background in behavioral science and addictions, I began seeing a direct correlation between technology dependence and drugs or alcohol years ago, and new research is now validating my observations. With the publishing and release of the 2013 Diagnostic and Statistical Manual V by the American Psychiatric Association, I was expecting that technology dependence criteria would be recognized as a significant enough behavioral or psychological disorder to be included for diagnostic purposes. As with many other disorders, if it is recognized, prevented, and/or managed, those impacted can find ways to reduce or eliminate the negative impact on their lives. However, I was disappointed. And yet, almost daily I hear of the negative impact technology is having on the lives of individuals and families, and feel it is only a matter of time.

Given its existence with the positives and negatives of its use, if we can assist you or your organization by providing information, consulting, or training regarding the abuse or dependence on technology, please contact us. Be well!

John K. Kriger

President, Kriger Consulting

609-387-5226

[email protected]

1

Do You Remember Your First Computer?

I don’t know about you, but I can remember getting my first computer, a Tandy T-1000 from RadioShack. When I got it, my excitement was almost unbearable. I brought it home in multiple large boxes, which required me to put down all the seats in my minivan so I could fit them all in. I needed a hand truck to bring the boxes into the house, and it took both my wife and me just to get it down the flight of stairs into the basement.

Among the boxes and packing material, I stood in my back office, elated by the prospect of entering the digital age. I unpacked the numerous pieces of equipment, cords, and all of the manuals required to set up the computer. After nearly five hours of reading manuals, plugging and unplugging, getting frustrated, and muttering words I won’t repeat here, I had set it up at last.

When I first turned on the computer, only a slight hum emitted from the central processing unit. Then a strange and eerie glow appeared as the grayish-black screen lit up with a greenish-gray light, and a small dot began to bounce on the screen. At the time, I’m sure I had no idea my life would be forever changed because of the technology I had brought into my home that day.

For anyone over the age of thirty-five, the pace at which technology has advanced over the past twenty years is almost unfathomable. But for those who are younger than that, working with technology often seems like second nature because you’ve grown up with these leaps in technology. What used to take hours to set up and learn to use now can be accomplished in minutes and often entails a device no bigger than a deck of cards. The intuitive nature of today’s technology has drastically increased not only its capabilities but ultimately the enjoyment of using it. You simply pull out your laptop or cell phone and use it.

Technology continues to evolve at a dizzying pace. Many schools and business now use SMART boards instead of chalk or whiteboards. Flat-screen and three-dimensional TVs are replacing bulky ones, much like color TVs replaced black-and-white ones in the 1950s and 1960s.

The Segway, which only a few years ago was seen as a transportation marvel, has become commonplace in factories, malls, and parks. Glasses and even contact lenses with computer screens set in the lenses are being produced so you can be always connected, hands-free and voice-controlled. The innovations are amazing!

While owning a computer was a luxury the day I brought home my Tandy, most individuals today own not only a cell phone but also a desktop computer, laptop, gaming console, tablet computer, and/or e-reader. In fact, most Americans today have at least one computer in their home. iPods, iPads, and BlackBerrys with the memory and capacity to surpass many desktops are readily available, and a library full of information is now available at the touch of a button from your home or office. In fact, by the time this book is published, many of the current innovations will already be outdated.

Even the most basic access to information today is far greater than anyone could have ever imagined only twenty-five years ago. Concepts spread virally, circling the globe multiple times a day. At no time in history has so much information been this accessible to this many people so quickly. There is more information available to us today without leaving our homes than