Why Leadership SucksTM Volume 2: The Pain, Pitfalls and Challenges of Servant Leadership Fundamentals

Part 1: To Serve or Not to Serve, That Is the Question

The goal of leadership is not to be likable or loved, but to be proven trustworthy and respected.

There’s a difference between liking someone who is in authority and respecting them. You don’t have to love or even like someone to respect them, but you do have to gain their respect if you want to continue working for them long term. That is, if you want to enjoy your job. As leaders, our goal should be to earn the respect of those who report to us, not simply because of our positional authority but because of our own earned trust and authority.

Many who are just starting out in leadership wrongly think: Now that I’m in charge, these ‘peons’ have to respect me! And then we are rudely awakened to the fact that while we have positional authority that can coerce or force people to do a task, the better way is to earn the team’s respect. Doing the latter will cause most people to want to follow you, leading to much greater productivity and loyalty throughout the process.

Comfort, control, and significance. I must attribute these three motivations to a discussion I had with Andy Kilgas, a good friend of mine. Thanks Andy! We all pay homage to one or more of these ‘gods’. Which one is most important to you? Stop and think about it for a few minutes. Do you make decisions based on what is comforting to you? Or based on how you can control people, money, and situations to your personal advantage? How do you influence rather than coercing others to gain genuine significance in their eyes through trust and integrity?

It is important to recognize which one(s) we fall hard for and reduce their negative influences in our lives. It might be one or all three. Which do you struggle with the most? Take a minute to ponder on this and find ways to guard against it ruling your life.

1

Rejection and Hazards Call for Levity

Crap should run uphill, not downhill.

Nevertheless, this is the opposite of what so often happens in real life. It would be nice if the boss sometimes had to deal with the problems that normally flow downhill. If so, perhaps he or she wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss a timely warning, or would take more time to understand the nuance of the situation, or would plan more effectively rather than blindly forging headlong into a project.

These thoughts swarm around in our heads when it comes to our bosses, but how often do we take the time to self-assess whether we are doing the exact same thing to our own teams? This is the essence of servant leadership. It is a choice to serve the best interests of the team, sacrificing our own interests in the process.

Leadership is often hazardous to your health.

When you experience rejection as a leader, it usually occurs for one of three reasons:

Hey, you suck at this leadership thing. If this is true, it requires humility to see it and focus on practicing servant leadership skills that lead to wisdom.

You are not sending out the right messages. Perhaps you’re not communicating the way that a particular person wants to hear it or in a way that they can understand. This stems from a desire for others to be more like ourselves instead of recognizing that we, as leaders, need to talk in a way that suits them more than us. It is very difficult to do this well.

There is something wrong that is outside of your control, and you’re just really not the right fit for that particular role.

If you do experience rejection in leadership, recognize that it might be number three. Maybe your leadership isn’t the right fit or the timing is off. But don’t skip to number three without honestly considering the first two reasons. We all have blind spots where there is room for improvement.

Our weaknesses as workers are amplified when we become leaders. If you seek revenue growth when your company is struggling, you might want to focus on your leadership tactics before going after growth, because it could crush you. I’ve seen many companies celebrate when fast growth happens and others that pursue it at all costs. Some companies aren’t prepared to handle the operational aspects of their business as their customer orders explode. Think about the additional shipping, customer service, manufacturing, etc.

Others get drunk with success and start pursuing ancillary investments that don’t have much to do with their core brand and end up alienating their customer base or running marginally profitable segments of their business that end up diverting time and investment away from other more profitable areas. Others simply underestimate the cash needed during growth, including major investments in inventory, staffing, and equipment that far exceeds the cash flow returns from those growth activities.

Often we run from the things we don’t want to face. Perhaps our ‘shiny object’ focus is the result of avoiding leadership shortcomings in ourselves or within the team. This doesn’t mean that we can’t go after something new if it makes strategic sense for the organization, but we should be cautious, honest, and self-aware enough to ask ourselves what our motivation for change is.

Some people have a seemingly insatiable desire to be in charge. These people are very different from those who don’t feel a burning need to be in charge but instead choose to be in leadership at the right times. The latter can easily step in and out of leadership roles without always having to lead. This doesn’t mean they don’t have the desire and natural gifting to lead others, but they don’t seek it at all costs. The former is afraid of losing his or her position of power and will do anything to retain it, even at the expense of others.

So ask yourself if you have an unnatural desire to lead in every circumstance or if you can step back and let others lead at times. First you lead, then another leads, producing a graceful leadership dance.

When in hazardous situations, don’t brake and turn the wheel.

Just like when you’re driving a car in snow, ice, or heavy rain, you want to avoid braking and turning at the same time. Do one or the other as an isolated action or complete them sequentially. If you try to do both, you may spin your car, or organization, out of control, especially during a crisis. Sometimes, the harder you work to try to make something happen, the more it slips through your fingers like sand. You need to make sure that your work isn’t perceived to be an act of desperation.

Balance humor with a focus on getting things done.

We all have a tough job as leaders; it isn’t easy. And because of the pressures and stress, we often focus on the task at hand, urging our teams onward and upward while forgetting to enjoy the experience along the