Retreating Forward: A Spiritual Practice with Transgender Persons

Retreating Forward

A Spiritual Practice with Transgender Persons

David Elias Weekley

Foreword by David Equality Watters

Retreating Forward

A Spiritual Practice with Transgender Persons

Copyright © 2017 David Elias Weekley. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions, Wipf and Stock Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401.

Resource Publications

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199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3

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paperback isbn: 978-1-5326-0553-6

hardcover isbn: 978-1-5326-0555-0

ebook isbn: 978-1-5326-0554-3

Manufactured in the U.S.A. April 17, 2017

Table of Contents

Title Page

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

List of Abbreviations

Glossary

Chapter 1: Invitation to Hospitality

Chapter 2: Who is My Neighbor?

Chapter 3: A Theology and Practice of Radical Love

Chapter 4: Retreating Forward

Chapter 5: The Retreat

Chapter 6: More Than the Sum of Parts

Appendix A: Prayer Weaving Tutorial: Membering, Dismembering, & Re-Membering Reflection Through Paper Weaving

Appendix B: Participant Survey

Appendix C: Evaluation Form

Appendix D: Follow-Up Interview Questions

Appendix E: Annotated Sources

Addendum: A Suitable Methodology

Bibliography

With much love and respect, I dedicate this work to Bishop Calvin D. and Velma Duell-McConnell, two of my chosen family whose love and support made it possible.

Foreword

by David Equality Watters

In " Retreating Forward: A Spiritual Practice with Transgender Persons," David Weekley writes in a persuasive, intelligent and logical style. His key point, regarding how a retreat ministry might begin to undo the detrimental effects of adverse religious experiences among transgender persons, is clearly stated and explored thoroughly. Weekley coherently presents his research into this timely subject with insight and focus. His writing is accessible and relevant to a broad range of readers, both academics and non-academics alike.

We live in an era where spiritual awareness is becoming increasingly significant and many are seeking answers to questions about life’s purpose and meaning, many are looking beyond the constraints of their physical, mortal limits to seek a greater, more profound understanding of their existence and many face damaging cognitive dissonance when attempting to reconcile faith and gender identity, when faced with disapproval and exclusion from traditional religious organizations. External sources of rejection can lead to internalized rejection of oneself and when that attack is upon ones right to explore and express ones spiritual nature, the damage can be immense.

Weekley brings a fresh perspective on how transgender and gender non-conforming individuals can access their spiritual path in a supportive and welcoming context. His writing is vital and life-affirming because it offers hope to those who need it most and it has the power to rationally enlighten those who may benefit from a broader understanding of the basic human desire (and right) to enjoy a spiritual life.

David Equality Watters is a National Diversity Award winner, teacher, motivational speaker, writer; and passionate equality advocate committed to enhancing the lives of young people and adults who may feel marginalized or limited by labels. The Give ’em Hope campaign was honored at the national diversity awards 2014 when it won the community organization award (multi-strand).

Watters was also a key player in the equal love campaign UK, which took the British government to the European court of human rights in 2010; which played a significant part in successfully securing marriage equality for same-sex couples in the United Kingdom.

Preface

This text explores how a retreat ministry grounded in the type of radical hospitality described by Jesus in The Parable of the Good Samaritan may begin to amend the harmful effects of negative religious experiences among transgender persons. As many faith communities seek meaningful ways to offer practical ministry with and for transgender persons this book provides one practice as a step in an ongoing process of education, community building, and practical theology. As the reader will discover through feedback from retreatants who participated in the retreat described within these pages, this proved to be a supportive practice and tool for engaging in ministry with transgender and gender non-conforming people seeking spiritual companionship.

Acknowledgments

With deep gratitude and loving respect, I thank five people whose guidance, encouragement, and support provided hope and inspiration along this journey: Dr. Mary Elizabeth Moore, Dean of Boston University School of Theology; Dr. Claire Wolfteich, Associate Professor of Practical Theology and Primary Advisor; Bishop Susan Hassinger, Bishop in Residence and Lecturer in Spirituality; and my beloved spouse, Deborah. A special thanks to Peterson Thomas Toscano whose friendship, creativity and comic relief added depth and joy to this work.

I am also thankful to the colleagues and peers who took the time to read, review, and comment on this text. Professor Phyllis Asnien, teacher of Humanities and life-long friend; Dr. Pamela Lightsey, Associate Dean and Clinical Assistant Professor at Boston University School of Theology, and author of "Our Lives Matter: A Womanist Queer Theology; Dr. Virginia Mollenkott, Professor and author of the Lamda Literary Award-winning, Omnigender: A Transreligious Approach; The Rev. Dr. Erin Swenson, Psychotherapist and Human Resource Consultant; The Rev. Dr. Justin Tanis, Managing Director, Center for LGBTQ and Gender Studies in Religion at Pacific School of Religion, and the author of, Transgendered: Ministry, Theology, and Communities of Faith; and Dr. Clare Watkins, Lecturer Ministerial Theology at University of Roehampton in London and co-author of, Talking about God in Practice.

List of Abbreviations

lgbtq lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer-identified

PAR Participatory Action Research

TAR Theological Action Research

Glossary

Cis-gender: Those whose gender matches the biological sex assigned to them at birth.

Gender non-conforming: Refers to persons who do not follow conventional ideas or stereotypes about gender roles; for example, how one should act or look based on the sex assigned at birth.

Gender-Queer: Persons who do not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions or roles but identify with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders.

Intersex: The medical term and sometimes the self-identifying term for those born with indeterminate or mixed genitalia. These infants were often assigned a gender at birth based upon what appeared most appropriate to the medical team, although this practice is less common now.

Transgender: Persons who self-identify as a gender other than the one assigned at birth. This includes but is not limited to those who have medically transitioned.

1

Invitation to Hospitality

Transgender and gender non-conforming persons often suffer spiritual alienation, isolation, and desolation. Many in this community express a sense of alienation from institutional religion and a struggle to find spiritual community. Indeed, they face discrimination at every turn. ¹ Events such as the dramatic rise in hate crimes following recent elections in the United States underscore the need for a supportive, responsive ministry on the part of faith communities who seek to stand in solidarity with transgender persons. The following pages are an invitation into a conversation about the theological foundations and existing need for such a practice. The text presents some historical background and resource literature, and describes Christian-based hospitality through the example of a spiritual retreat model for and with transgender and gender non-conforming persons. The retreat that evolved through theological reflection, conversation, and research is based upon participatory action research, a methodology that worked well within my theological framework of seeking to give voice to marginalized populations.

Theologian Elizabeth Conde-Frazier describes participatory action research as one way to accompany others in their suffering and struggles and to work together in responding to challenges and issues in their lives and community.² While this text does not focus on this methodology, it is important to note it was the operating method engaged when building the retreat with participants. Conde-Frazier describes it as incarnational research, involving people in formulating solutions for their problems, setting agendas, reflecting theologically, and acting.³ In this text, transgender and gender non-conforming people are engaged in reflecting on their lives, identifying their problems and concerns, setting goals, reflecting theologically, and developing strategies for future action. In a time when transgender persons are experiencing increased push-back from some religious organizations as well as segments of secular society, this type of process and experience may be significant for both the retreatants and those who facilitate it, including faith communities that develop and support such a ministry.

The theological grounding of this work is Jesus’ Parable of the Good Samaritan, found in the gospel of Luke 10:25–37. The Christian life is one committed to following the example and teaching of Jesus, drawing upon discernment and the Spirit for direction in life. Regardless of theological differences or preferred translation of sacred Scriptures, one essential mandate preceding all others is love of God and neighbor. This directive is found in several places in both the Hebrew Scriptures and the gospel, but the story told by Jesus in this parable powerfully underscores this directive. Above all else, this is a story of radical love and hospitality that precedes religious tradition or dogma:

Just then a lawyer stood up to test Jesus. Teacher, he said, what must I do to inherit eternal life? He said to him, What is written in the law? What do you read there? He answered, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself. And he said to him, You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live.

But wanting to justify himself, he asked Jesus, And who is my neighbor? Jesus replied, A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell into the hands of robbers, who stripped him, beat him, and went away, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road; and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. So likewise, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan while traveling came near him; and when he saw him, he was moved with pity. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, having poured oil and wine on them. Then he put him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said, ‘Take care of him; and when I come back, I will repay you whatever more you spend.’ Which of these three, do you think, was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers? He said, The one who showed him mercy. Jesus said to him, Go and do likewise.

This core story and teaching of Jesus relates directly to the invitation made in this text, and it was operative from the beginning as I envisioned a spiritual place of healing for both a population that often feels beaten, robbed, and abandoned by society; and faith communities isolated from their transgender siblings in faith as the result of unfamiliarity, fear, lack of information, or restricted theological education.

Like Samaritans and the dead in the time of Jesus, transgender and gender non-conforming persons today are one of the most marginalized populations on earth. This has been illustrated repeatedly by surveys such as, Injustice at Every Turn and the rising numbers of deaths reported each year during Transgender Day of Remembrance observances.⁴ Despite such a clear example in the teaching of Jesus concerning right relationship between God and neighbor, many denominations and local congregations continue to either ignore or vilify the existence of this entire community. They are like those in Jesus’ parable who, driven by fear of contamination and social rejection themselves, evade contact with the wounded victim, even crossing the road to avoid being proximate to one viewed as unclean. Such behaviors are not limited to individuals or even faith communities. Promises to roll back legal protections for transgender persons is among one of the campaign promises of the newly elected Trump administration. Proposals to allow discrimination against transgender persons