Real Simple Holiday Calm

Introduction

Making Memories

SWEET, SIMPLE ROUTINES can MAKE THE HOLIDAY SEASON SPECIAL. THERE ARE WAYS TO FIND CALM AND SAVOR ALL THE EXTRAORDINARY MOMENTS.

BY LESLIE YAZEL, EDITOR IN CHIEF, REAL SIMPLE

There was a time every year in early December when my mom and I would set aside an afternoon to wander through our local fabric store. Our destination was holiday fabrics on the remnant table—my mom is seriously frugal and taught me how many wonderful things you can make with remnants. But we would also stroll around and touch the lacy wedding fabrics and notions and think about projects we might make…one day.

Eventually, we always managed to find three festive fabrics that loosely matched. Back home, my mom would sew them into tubes while I rounded up stuffing material. Once we’d stuffed the three long tubes, she braided them into a wreath, added a ribbon, and voilà—a beautiful gift for one of her friends. But what I remember isn’t so much the gifts themselves, but the process we enjoyed sharing. Sewing always made my mom calm and at peace—to this day I find the sound of a sewing machine instantly relaxing. And because we made the same project so many times, there wasn’t any crafting stress involved.

Truthfully, the holidays can be stressful. There are the racing around the house to clean before guests arrive, the awkward work parties, the long lines at stores when you start to second-guess whatever present you’re waiting to purchase. But it’s the sweeter, simpler times, like shopping for fabric scraps with Mom, that stick in my memory. I know what you’re thinking: With so much to do during the holidays, how do you carve out time for special things? This was my biggest struggle a few years ago, and after I had a meltdown that I was never going to get the Christmas cards designed and mailed on time, my husband gently asked, What’s the worst that can happen if the cards don’t get sent?

I realized he was right. While I felt a little sheepish each time a lovely card arrived, I was able to use that additional time and brain space to plan an outing with my daughter to look at all the decorations on Fifth Avenue and go ice skating afterward. I didn’t lose any friends over the lack of cards that year (the following year I resumed card-sending), and I made a special memory with the person I love most in the world. It’s these small choices that can transform the holidays from hustle-bustle stress to calm moments of connection and wonder.

And that’s our wish for you. The editors of Real Simple created this special edition, Holiday Calm, so that your season can be filled with the things you love to do, whether that’s taking time to cook a brisket for a crowd, wrap presents and listen to carols, or watch a hilarious holiday movie with a bunch of friends.

In these pages you’ll find tips for both the emotional and practical sides of the holidays. Etiquette, hosting, guesting, making traditions, breaking traditions, decorating—we have realistic tips for a relaxing, fulfilling holiday break. Oh, and a guide to pies. Because…pie!

Most of all, I hope the holidays give you a moment for yourself—to relax, to contemplate, to plan, to feel gratitude, to accept yourself, and to celebrate your special way. It’s your holiday season—enjoy!

Chapter 1

A SIMPLER APPROACH

It is the most magical time of the year—or is it the most exhausting? Pull off Thanksgiving dinner for a crowd. Jump on the holiday shopping. Put the Elf somewhere. Move said Elf. Remember at 2 a.m. that you still need holiday cards! Make your home twinkle and glow (without creating a fire hazard). While you can’t escape being busy this time of year, you can avoid feeling so overwhelmed that you don’t even appreciate the moments. Finding ways to simplify your holiday is the best way to ensure you have a calm, mindful season that you truly love. And don’t be surprised if that peaceful tone spreads to everyone in your inner orbit. It’s really a matter of figuring out what you actually enjoy and putting your energy there. What part of the season is most fulfilling to you? What could you do without? Do you find baking Christmas cookies to be a treat or a chore? Do you want more time to share the spirit of the season with your kids? Do you long to grab a fancy cocktail with a good friend you don’t see much anymore? Do it your way, with some well-deserved shortcuts, and you’ll have not only a calmer holiday, but a more meaningful one as well.

5 Holiday To-Dos You Don’t Really Have to Do

WHY FEEL PRESSURED TO DO THINGS A CERTAIN WAY? HERE ARE SOME OBLIGATIONS YOU CAN LET GO OF RIGHT NOW.

BY SARAH ROBBINS

1 Sticking to Tradition

Every family does holidays differently; I think the key is to make the traditions work for your home. When we were little, my brother and I stuffed stockings for our parents, while my mom filled ours. He and I realized at some point that we would never be ready to give them up. Now our families open the stockings over breakfast on Christmas Day. We also still allow ourselves, on Christmas Eve, to open one present we know will be disappointing. My best December 24 score was a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle of baked beans.

FRANCESCA HORNAK IS THE AUTHOR OF SEVEN DAYS OF US. SHE LIVES IN LONDON.

2 Getting Dolled Up

My day job requires me to be glammed up: We Rockettes do as many as 17 Christmas Spectacular shows a week during the holiday season, which means I get to spend much of my time wearing incredible costumes adorned with sequins and crystals, as well as stage makeup, including false eyelashes and bright red lipstick. For me, gatherings with family and friends are about quality time with loved ones, not stressing over my look. So my go-to offstage outfit is one that’s much more low-key and works anywhere: a black sweater dress with tights and boots. For makeup, I wear just a tinted moisturizer, mascara, and a light lip color. It’s simple and comfortable, and it always looks polished.

COURTNEY ROTTENBERGER IS A RADIO CITY ROCKETTE. SHE LIVES IN NEW YORK CITY.

3 Cleaning Every Corner

One reason people don’t have parties is that they feel they have to clean their entire house, ceiling to floor. Don’t do that. The only thing you definitely have to clean is the bathroom: It’s where everyone is going to spend a little time alone and where lights can illuminate everything that’s dirty. So wipe the stubble off the sink; hide the medications if you want. But leave the kitchen alone. It’s the hub of activity, where we expect to spill something. No matter what, as the party goes on, you’ll have a tower of dishes in the sink, and no matter how many plastic cups you use, every glass you have will be spread out across the room.

RICO GAGLIANO IS A COHOST OF THE SAFE FOR WORK PODCAST AND A COAUTHOR OF BRUNCH IS HELL. HE LIVES IN LOS ANGELES.

4 Gift-Giving Guilt

It’s super fun to get wrapped up in the marketing and excitement of holiday gift giving. But when you attach real money to it—especially if it’s money you haven’t yet earned—it becomes all about guilt. Before you start shopping, determine the total amount you’ll spend and make sure to include a little extra for those surprise gifts you might feel obliged to reciprocate. Then make a list of recipients in order of importance—kids, spouse, whoever—and attach a dollar amount to each. If you feel bad in the moment about not giving your dentist or mail carrier a gift, look at your list: Your priorities will be crystal clear.

JESSE MECHAM IS THE FOUNDER AND CEO OF YOU NEED A BUDGET. HE LIVES IN LEHI, UTAH.

5 Going Out

The season is full of parties, but it can sometimes be a little much, especially if, like me, you need serious downtime to recharge. So I make the rule to always attend family events and play everything else by ear. I firmly believe that no is a complete sentence and that the people who really care about me will understand that I’m not always able to do absolutely everything.