Remains To Be Seen: Play Dead Murder Mystery Plays

introduction

Remains To Be Seen was another twist in my attempt to be a little 'artsy' in the dinner theatre world.  The plot was essentially a road movie for the stage. There would be no traditional set, instead it would be representational. The characters would travel from one location to another in their plot to solve a murder. Originally, we were able to stage this play in a very large venue - a ball room. We were able to stage the scenes all around the room. One scene in a seedy bar-room took place at the actual bar in the back of the ballroom. Other scenes took place around the audience and other scenes moved back to the stage. Lots of characters and lots of movement equaled lots of fun for the actors and the audience. -Lee Mueller

one

Dedicated to the dedicated original St. Louis Remains To Be Seen cast of 14 actors who managed to become 16 characters and especially to Mike Baylard who created the original Ignatious Clam. You left this world much too soon.

ACT ONE

MAC walks onto stage sweeping floor- walks around for a few beats.

BUD: (from just offstage) Hey Mac!

MAC:  Yea Bud?

BUD:  Somebody left a trunk in one of these rentals.

MAC:  A what?

BUD:  A trunk.

MAC:  Left it where?

BUD:  In one of the trucks.

MAC:  A trunk?

BUD:  Yea, in a truck.

MAC:  Left a trunk in a truck?

BUD:  Yea. I guess when they left the truck, they left the trunk. What should we do with it?

MAC:  Leave it in lost and found, I guess.

BUD:  O.K. Could you give me hand, it's kinda heavy.

MAC:  What do I look like? A heavy lifting... lifter of heavy things?

BUD:  Well, actually.. yea, kinda.

MAC:  Really? O.K. Cool

BUD and MAC pull a large steamer trunk up onto stage center. -Adlib through this action. Watch it - it's heavy  etc..

MAC:  Did you check it out?

BUD:  Who me? Naw.  Wonder what's in it?

MAC:  Why don't you check it out?

BUD:  Who me? Naw.

Both look down at it for a moment, then..

BUD: O.K.! Let's look.

MAC:  Yea, O.K.

They struggle with lock for a minute.

MAC:  I think it's locked, Bud.

BUD:  Yea. I think you're right.

MAC: (beat) You gotta Bobbie Pin?

BUD:  Why would I have a Bobbie Pin? Do I look like Bobbie Pin people?

MAC: No, I guess you’re really not a Bobbie type. More in the safety pin realm. (beat) You gotta safety pin?

BUD: Nope.

MAC: A needle?

BUD: Nope.

MAC: Ice pick? A small allen wrench? (BUD shakes his head at each) A finishing nail?  Needle nose pliers? Wire cutters? Swiss Army Knife? A corkscrew? Tweezers?

BUD:  Nope.

MAC:  A small two gauge rotary de-fragmenting reverse polarity pine lock-picker? 

BUD:  Yea. (takes toothpick from his mouth -hands it to max) Here ya go.

MAC:  Thanks. (bends down -quickly picks lock - and opens trunk)  You see what I see Bud?

BUD: I think so. You smell what I smell?

MAC: Oh yea. Big time.

(Both wave hand in front of faces)

BUD:  Is that what it looks like?

MAC: It looks like it. You think we should we tell somebody?

BUD: I don't know Mac. Do you want to tell somebody that we saw some...body? They'll ask us questions, they'll check our backgrounds, it'll be a big long ordeal. Days. Maybe months. We'll miss work, our families, our favorite primetime programs. You wanna tell somebody?

MAC: Who me? Naw!

BUD:  So, did we see something?

MAC:  Nope.  I didn't see nothing resembling something. Did you?

BUD:  In where?

MAC:  Exactly.   Nothin' was seen. (shuts trunk lid)

BUD: Nothin' was smelled.

MAC:   I really gotta be going, Bud.

BUD:  Yea,