The Gift of Ruin: How Conquering Your Pain Will Lead To Your Purpose

The Gift of Ruin

How Conquering Your Pain Will Lead To Your Purpose

by

Dr. Alison Ezell

Copyright © Dr. Alison Ezell, 2020

Cover image: © Chocolate Readings

ISBN-13: 978-0-578-75473-4

Publisher’s Note

Printed and bound in the United States of America. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system except by a review who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a magazine, newspaper, or on the Web without permission in writing from Dr. Alison Ezell.

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure the accuracy and completeness of information contained in this book, we assume no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any inconsistency herein. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for damages arising here from. References for all statistics shared throughout the manuscript are listed in the back of the book.

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It is with my deepest gratitude and warmest affection that I dedicate this book to Kerron, who has been a constant source of knowledge, inspiration and has offered his unwavering support.

And as always, Mom and Dad…

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: My Life Ain’t Been No  Crystal Stair

Chapter 2: Traditions Are Made To Be Broken

Chapter 3: Wealth Without Health Means Nothing

Chapter 4: Relationships or Relationshits?

Chapter 5: When The Student is Ready, The Teacher Appears

Chapter 6: If It Ain’t About The Money

Chapter 7: Life is Only As Good As Your Mindset

Chapter 8: What is Your Why?

Chapter 9: Marriage and The D Word

The Gift for Myself

References

About Dr. Alison Ezell

Introduction

Life was sweet. I had accomplished my goal of becoming a doctor, had gotten married, and had built the house of my dreams… I was living what everyone hoped for… The American Dream and then my world came crashing down, and that American Dream quickly became a nightmare.

This book is written for those individuals who do not want to live like 95% of Americans. It is for those individuals who want to think outside of the box when it comes to relationships, marriage, personal development, and financial literacy.

The Gift of Ruin gives my firsthand experiences and the mistakes that were made along my journey into womanhood. I mean, would you rather learn from someone else’s mistakes or waste your greatest asset, which is your time and make the same repeated mistakes that are engrained in many of us from birth and taught by society? If you prefer the latter, good luck, there is no reason for you to continue reading. If not, I congratulate you because this is the first step in not becoming like 95% of Americans. Apply what you learn to save yourself time, money, and heartache and use the information to progress your life and your family further. Learn the gifts from the RUIN that I endured…

Chapter 1

My Life Ain’t Been No

Crystal Stair

If you don’t define yourself for yourself, you’ll be crushed into other people’s fantasies of you and eaten alive.

Audrey Lourde

Growing up in Kansas City back in the eighties, things were totally different than they are now. As children, in the Midwest, we spent much of our childhood outside riding bikes, playing kickball, basketball, hide and seek, double Dutch; you name it, we probably played it. So, being active was very natural to me. It became a part of who I am, even to this day.

My mother acknowledged the athleticism and decided to let me try dance and gymnastics at the age of six. It turned out to be a remarkably successful tryout because I was asked to join the competitive team, and after that, I never looked back.

Gymnastics took up much of my time, as I trained five days a week, three to four hours a day. This was my life until my high school graduation. Gymnastics made me a very disciplined human being. It was never easy for me to give up on anything in life. Ironically though, growing up, I did not particularly like the sport of gymnastics. It was not a passion of mine. I did not enjoy going to practice and leaving my family while everyone else was at home having fun, but there was something in me that would not allow me to quit. I am glad I did not, because thanks to my coach, who helped me in the recruiting aspect, I was granted a gymnastics scholarship to college. My world had gotten that much better.  I would be the second of my parent’s children to go off to college, and I was super excited for the new journey.

I attended Southeast Missouri State University. I can honestly say that when I attended that school and experienced collegiate gymnastics, it was on an entirely different level with a different atmosphere. It was more enjoyable; it felt like an actual team sport and environment. So, no longer was I just competing for myself, I had a responsibility and a duty to be successful for my team, my coach, and the institution? I always make a joke saying that being a collegiate athlete was the first hardest thing I had ever experienced in my life.  My entire schedule was spoken for, from the time I woke up until about ten p.m. every night. And let us not even mention the six o’clock in the morning runs on the football field with the strength and conditioning coach of the Southeast Missouri State University Football team. Yeah, good times.

Looking back at those four years, I honestly could not tell you how I got through it. (I know that it was through the grace of God).  As I stated before, it was one of the hardest things I had ever done.

Moving away from home, not being able to see family when you wanted to or even often for that matter.  Spring breaks come around every year. Instead of experiencing the beach vacations, you are in the gym, on your birthday hitting routine after routine, skill after skill preparing for the next competition usually on the weekend of spring break.  Not many would do something like that; give up much of their life, family, and friends for a sport.  What is even harder is