Conquering Codependency – Loving Without Leaning

Conquering Codependency – Loving Without Leaning

By Susan Kramer

Conquering Codependency – Loving Without Leaning

Copyright  2018 Susan Helene Kramer. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-387-90616-1

Santa Barbara, California

Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Introduction

Written from a spiritual point of view, 76 lessons and topics on codependency that can be followed chronologically or at random. Each codependency topic includes a prayer or meditation or both for reflection and inspiration. Topics include loving without leaning, revenge, substance abuse issues, stress release, and teen issues, all presented in a practical way aimed at recovery. 22,612 words.

If your goal is harmony in daily living, with a feeling of on-going fulfillment, then conquering the limitations of codependency is a worthwhile course. Why not let the inner direction and strength of your Spirit combine with your determination to live autonomously, loving fully, with the help of these lessons.

Part I - Discovering Wholeness

1. Loving Without Leaning

The leaning of codependency is on something apart from us to provide a sense of wellbeing.

When we rely on an outside source for happiness, we create tension and stress in our mind and body; we can never be sure we are going to get what we need to make us feel complete. To feel harmonious in our mind and body means we must provide our own happiness, internally and externally; not be dependent on another person or source to make us happy. Giving without expectation of a similar favor preserves our deep sense of personal harmony and peace; it is loving without leaning.

How to meditate on the codependency lessons

Sit up straight and quietly on your mat or on a chair. Fold your hands in your lap or place them palms up or palms down on your thighs. Close your eyes. Begin breathing evenly and regularly such as with 2 counts to breathe in; 2 counts to breathe out; 2 counts to breathe in, and continue in this rhythm throughout your meditation without actually say the numbers out loud.

This even regular breathing can be your lifesaver at a moment's notice when you're feeling stressed. Regular even breathing is a tie between body and mind. When feeling agitated, the even rhythm of your breaths flowing in and out calms both your mind and body. You can practice this calming breathing without anyone being the wiser. It is an unseen private practice and your lifeline to stress reduction.

Moving on to the heart of your meditation, spend a few moments thinking with appreciation of at least one person or pet you love unconditionally. This sets you in a positive mood. Take the topic of the day, such as this topic - loving without leaning - and reflect on its meaning to you, and how you can incorporate the lesson in your life.

Finish your meditation by taking a deep breath in and slowly releasing it. Open your eyes. Record new insights in your journal. Stretch out and go on with your day, renewed; refreshed.

2. Natural Ways to Reduce Stress

When we strive to get what we don’t have, but think will give us happiness, we can get stress symptoms such as headaches, raised blood pressure, muscle aches from holding tension, and more.

Hints to reduce stress; regain harmony

- Breathe evenly when feeling mental stress; counts 1, 2, breathe in; counts 3, 4 breathe out; counts 1, 2, breathe in, and continue the pattern.

- Go for a walk, run, swim or other aerobic exercise.

- Adopt a positive attitude; adopt a caring attitude.

- Immerse yourself in some creative or productive work to distract your mind.

Isn’t happiness a product of living in harmony and balance with people and environment, rather than when we are struggling to get something or someone we don’t have?

Concentrate on enjoying or making the most of the circumstances you are in at the moment!

Harmony Prayer

"Lord, may we remember

Joy is maintained, or joy is regained

Through living in harmony

With the people and environment

Of our world."

3. How to Make Positive Changes

Positive changes result when we become aware of, and accept better ways.

We discover a way is better when we experience more peacefulness and relaxation in our mind and body when even thinking about this new approach, rather than continuing an old pattern that depends on the action or approval of others.

As we all want happiness, we should welcome and incorporate expanded insights, increasing our capacity for happiness in the process.

By acting for the best of all concerned we create win-win situations - positive changes for everyone.

Life is a challenge and as such contains many formats for choices and actions. It is coming to realize we can take control of our lives that helps us make the positive decisions that lead us in the direction of helpful change.

Keep plugging away in the positive direction and your life will improve all around.

Insight Prayer

"Lord, grant me insight, expanded awareness

That I may make positive change.

My consciousness growing

More happiness knowing."

4. Blame Delays Constructive Action

Spending time and energy blaming others or circumstances delays constructive action. Circumstances are as they are. Having already happened, they are beyond our control.

By our free will we choose how to react to others and circumstances. Acting for the good of all brings the most positive results.

The intent to be positive and to act positively in negative circumstances transforms the event.

Positive acts in response to negativity change the negative to positive self-growth in us.

Our body remains relaxed and our mind stays free of tension and anxiety when we choose to act for the common good.

Remember, placing blame just sticks it outside ourselves in a way we can't touch or change. To reclaim inner peace and happiness, push the blame away and look for the doorway to happiness through marching forward in peace and forgiveness.

Constructive Action Prayer

"Lord, may I remember

That self-responsibility

And constructive action

Instead of blame

Lift me from negativity

Into creative, peaceful, easeful living."

5. Choosing a Path

We are daily traversing a pathway - at some point becoming curious about our ultimate destination.

When we become thoughtful about the beginning and destiny of our lives, what comes to mind is that we must have unseen deeper roots.

This makes sense, as in nature plants and trees have unseen roots sunk in earth for support and nourishment.

Even inanimate objects such as icebergs and mountains have underlying stable bases supporting what is visible to our eyes.

We can follow our own star - the path that is right for us, by being true to our needs and feelings, and at the same time discovering that we have an individual richness worth