How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don't need to say, "I'm fine."): Authentic & Encouraging Psalm Reflections on the Many Emotions of Motherhood

How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don’t need to say, I’m fine.) had me at its subtitle. As women—and especially as women of faith—the pressure to be fine…or seem fine…or say I’m fine always feels like it’s hovering over our interactions. But as God speaks to us through the Psalms, He clearly gives us permission to express the full range of emotions He intentionally equipped us with when He created us! I love that Lisa and Shelby’s book takes firm hold of this divine go-ahead and expands on it with an accessible What am I feeling now? emotional buffet. However you’re feeling at the moment, Momma—from afraid to worshipful to something in between—you’re not alone, and this reassuring resource offers proof of that from two beautiful moms who aren’t willing to settle for I’m fine and don’t think you should either.

Elizabeth Spencer, mom of one teen and one 20-something daughter.

Blogs at guiltychocoholicmama.blogspot.com

As a mother of six, reading How are You Feeling, Momma? is like sitting on my front porch with a couple of friends and having a much-needed conversation.

Laura Wolf, mom of six, ages 10 and under

This book is a delightful guide for mothers and grandmothers to reflect on the spiritual joys & challenges of motherhood. I enjoyed the two different perspectives, which bring alive the love of God through all the turmoil of motherhood and the world.

Sandy McLeod, mom of two, grandmother of three

Whether we identify as Jewish or Christian, as moms, when we open Scripture, we’re reading the same Psalms. It’s a beautiful thing to realize, as these women did, the way we apply the truths we read, in our home lives, our communities, and in our places of worship, are remarkably similar too.

Traci Rhoades, mom of one 11-year-old. Blogs at tracesoffaith.com

How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don’t need to say, I’m fine.)

Copyright © 2019 Shelby Spear and Lisa Leshaw

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or in any means without prior written permission. The only exception is in the case of a brief quotation in articles or reviews.

Scripture passages have been taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. Scriptures marked (MSG) are taken from The Message Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scriptures marked (TLB) are taken from The Living Bible copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scriptures marked (NLV) are taken from New Life Version®, Copyright © 1969 by Christian Literature International.

Scriptures marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN-13: 978-0-578-42418-7

Ebook ISBN: 978-0-578-44907-4

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data (to come)

Printed in the United States of America

Cover design by TC Schwindling; Editing/developmental editing/copyediting by Jana Burson; Proofreading by Andi Pitman; Interior Book Formatting by Charity Walton

Lisa Leshaw is an ultra-liberal, Jewish, New York step-mom joining forces with a pro-love, Jesus-adoring, Ohio mom, Shelby Spear. On paper, these two would appear to be polar opposites. Ironically, their differences are the adhesive that binds them in this joint effort to give moms some spiritual uplift while in the trenches of motherhood. A serendipitous online encounter brought them together, and these two are living proof that despite differing views, backgrounds, and cultures, when it comes to God, all things are possible through love.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

Psalms for Afraid Moms

Psalms for Alone Moms

Psalms for Burned-Out Moms

Psalms for Cheated Moms

Psalms for Confused Moms

Psalms for Depressed Moms

Psalms for Distressed Moms

Psalms for Elated Moms

Psalms for Guilty Moms

Psalms for Hateful Moms

Psalms for Impatient Moms

Psalms for Insecure Moms

Psalms for Insulted Moms

Psalms for Jealous Moms

Psalms for Like Quitting Moms

Psalms for Lost Moms

Psalms for Overwhelmed Moms

Psalms for Penitent Moms

Psalms for Prideful Moms

Psalms for Purposeless Moms

Psalms for Sad Moms

Psalms for Self-Confident Moms

Psalms for Tense Moms

Psalms for Thankful Moms

Psalms for Threatened Moms

Psalms for Tired Moms

Psalms for Trapped Moms

Psalms for Unmotivated Moms

Psalms for Vulnerable Moms

Psalms for Worried Moms

Psalms for Worshipful Moms

More About Shelby

More About Lisa

For More Info and Resources From Shelby

For More Info and Resources From Lisa

Notes

Acknowledgments

To my hubby and best friend, John, whose selfless love, sacrifice, and service to our family created the opportunity for me to nurture our kids from inside the nest and work toward my dreams in the process. For my three precious kiddos—utmost models of love, compassion, and grace—who made me the woman I am today.

~Shelby

No one believes in me or puts up with me more than the Mister, so thank you, Stu Leshaw. You’re a glorious partner and the perfect anchor to my kite. And to my kids, who are the root of my gray hair and who constantly melt my soul, I could not be more proud of you. And to Leslie Means and the Glorious Warriors from Her View From Home, your gifts transform women’s lives. Mine Included. God Bless. WRITE ON.

~ Lisa

Foreword

Every mother will experience a plethora of emotions during her parenting journey. This extraordinary road we travel can be filled with an abundance of joy as we raise our children through all the ages and stages and phases of growth. But amidst the joy, there are also moments of feeling deep angst, fear, loneliness, sadness, discouragement, frustration, confusion, guilt, shame, and utter overwhelm that grabs hold of our momma hearts.

Although every mom will travel down a unique parenting road, there are common issues we all face, challenges we all encounter, and struggles we all endure. Being a momma is hard. The unpredictable roller-coaster ride full of emotional twists and turns and highs and lows can leave us depleted and defeated.

Talking about those raw and very real emotions can be uncomfortable and embarrassing. We may be fearful of judgment or rejection if we expose our true selves. And oftentimes, moms just don’t have the energy to be vulnerable when we are constantly running in the relentless race of mothering.

So, when people ask how we’re doing or how we’re feeling, we often respond with a casual I’m fine. It’s just easier not to go ‘there.’

But how do we manage those deep emotions that come from raising our kids? How do we best take care of ourselves? What do we do with those aches that come with motherhood?

I believe the greatest relief and the most powerful affirmation comes from connection. There is a universal bond moms experience, created through a mutual understanding of our profound love and a fierce passion for our children. When moms can have intimate and honest conversations with other trusted moms about how they are really feeling, restoration occurs.

It’s in this book where you will find freedom from hiding, from holding in those true emotions, from having to keep it all together with a perfectly coined I’m fine. You can be real here. You can be you. You can reveal those sensitive parts and secret struggles as you realize you are not alone.

Shelby Spear and Lisa Leshaw have combined their writing gifts, their two walks of faith, and their generous love for helping moms to offer you much-needed nourishment through helpful advice, inspiring Biblical truths, and an intimate view into their own well-worn experience as mothers.

Soak it all in, dear moms. Each chapter will drench you in the grace poured from these pages and tend to those fragile pieces of your heart that need to be handled with utmost care. You will find revelation, redemption, and a refreshing dose of faithful inspiration as these two seasoned moms meet you exactly where you’re at and offer you the wisdom and encouragement you need.

Remember that you were designed by the hands of a loving God for this mission of motherhood. He goes before you and prepares the way. He walks this glorious and exhausting road alongside you with His unfailing love.

Let Shelby and Lisa speak truth into your lives, blanket you with comforting reassurance, and spur you on with fortitude and faith.

Christine Carter

Mom of two teens ages 13 and 15, and author of Help and Hope While You’re Healing: A woman’s guide toward wellness while recovering from injury, surgery, or illness. Blogs at themomcafe.com

Introduction

A Note from Shelby

The simple question, How are you feeling, Momma? wins the prize for the most loaded inquiry in the history of all things wonder. As moms, we’ve concocted a gazillion ways to dodge and deflect the question to avoid giving an honest answer. A trite I’m fine keeps the heaviness of authenticity from mucking up our everyday living.

Yet, the truth is, beneath our facade are countless felt needs just begging for healing and resolve. Motherhood is full of competing emotions that sap our energy on the regular. We often choose to ignore our feelings because if we give them