Tantric Dating: Bringing Love and Awareness to the Dating Process

CONTENTS

Introduction

TANTRIC DATING MINDSET

What Do We Mean by Tantra?

Tantric Dating Vs. Conventional Dating

Society is Against Love

The Appearance Issue

The Whole Issue of Chemistry and "Trusting

Your Gut"

Is It Really Rejection?

What About Toxic People?

We’re All Spiritual Brothers and Sisters Helping

Each Other Grow

Blaming Other People for Why We’re Not Loving

It’s Up to Me Whether I Love You or Not;

It’s Not Up to You

The Invention of Romantic Love

The Pain of Romantic Love is Good for You

(To a Point)

I’m Going to Live in Love

How Do I Open More to Love?

Advocating for Love

TANTRIC DATING EXERCISES

EXERCISE #1: The Eyes—Your False Friends

EXERCISE #2: The Egg Meditation

EXERCISE #3: Tantric Dating Metta

EXERCISE #4: Tantric Dating Tonglen

EXERCISE #5: Practicing Tantric Dating

Principles

EXERCISE #6: The Perfect Beloved in This

Moment

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Connect with Catherine Auman

The Tantric Mastery Series

Works by Catherine Auman

INTRODUCTION

It was a major birthday—one of those years when you take stock of if you’re where you want to be. In most areas of life, I had to admit I was doing great: successful in my chosen career, great health, lovely friends, a cute apartment, financially stable—most of the things that everyone wants—except for the only thing that had ever really mattered—being in a soulmate relationship with my Perfect Beloved.

Not that I hadn’t tried. Ever since I first discovered boys (outside my brother) in kindergarten, I’d been trying. After countless blind dates, bad dates and bad boys, relationship advice books and columns, online and in-person dating, an early foray (a bit unwillingly) into free love culture, endless hours of therapy, many, many relationships and two failed marriages, I had to admit: I was a Dating Disaster.

I recounted all this to a long-time friend in the Bay Area who asked how she could support me. Since she was actively involved in online dating, I suggested we cheerlead each other a couple times a week. We began chatting frequently late at night, reviewing dates and deciphering texts. Then she promptly met someone and with that, I was alone again.

I made the decision to go for it. Really go for it this time, no matter what. I was going to get to the bottom of this and become a Master of Dating and Relationships. I decided to hack dating once and for all, whatever it took. And for me, it took a lot.

Sitting on my couch on Saturday nights, watching Netflix while sipping a glass of wine wasn’t working. I needed to get into action. I joined five online dating sites and over twenty Meetups (which is great because you are always getting invitations in your inbox). I downloaded an app which had a calendar of all the art openings in town and ventured out to art gallery openings (free wine and intriguing hipsters). I went back to therapy to complete some still-unfinished business from childhood (I had been in therapy a lot, but still … sometimes when you come from a difficult childhood it takes a while), and hired a coach. An unusual dating coach—I hired a Pickup Artist.