Reflective Meditations Trilogy: Understanding My Authentic Self, Believing in Myself, Loving Myself, Plus Understanding My Boundaries

Reflective Meditations: Understanding My Authentice Self

Introduction

You may come to a time in life when you realize that you do not understand who you really are. This is what happened to me a number of years back. Different circumstance in my life did not allow me to understand who I was—what did I feel, what did I like, and what did I want? These are just some of the questions that I started asking myself. You may have similar questions. Come with me on a journey of self-discovery of your authentic self and discover who you really are, not the person others are trying to tell you that you are or who they think you are.

This book is set up in sixty short thoughts that can be used as daily reflective meditations. Take the time to read each thought and then think about it throughout the day. As you reflect on what the thought means to you, ask yourself How does this relate to me? What can I learn from it? What can I do differently in my own life? and Did that work for me or do I need to change something else?

Understanding Who I Am

Day 1 Looking for my authentic self

Today is a new day for me! I want to understand who I really am—my authentic self! For me, as the author, it was a question that I asked myself a number of years ago. My life had been going along, but I realized that I didn’t really know who I was. What did I like? What did I think? How did I really relate to others in social settings? What were my real emotions? What did I need? What did I want? and Who was I deep inside of my heart? These may be questions that you have already asked yourself but have not found answers to, or perhaps they are questions that you want to consider on a deeper level. Come with me on this journey as we explore ourselves and find who we really are.

Day 2 Boundaries—What are they?

There are boundaries between me and other people. Many people may not understand this idea of boundaries. It may be new to me, or it may be something I have explored for some time. Somewhere between others and me there are boundaries—physical boundaries, social boundaries, emotional boundaries, and other forms of separation. A boundary is where I end and the other person begins.

Sometimes these boundaries are enmeshed, so we aren’t sure where the boundaries really exist. When land and sea have boundary issues, as in hurricane, a lot of damage occurs. This can also happen in my life and my relationships—it is what happens when I do not learn to know who I am.

Boundaries can be the opposite of being enmeshed too—they can be very rigid. These boundaries are not flexible and cannot change in different situations. In relationships with rigid boundaries, the child is essentially prevented from changing and growing up, or a spouse is not able to change over time. This can cause numerous problems that leave a person finding other ways to cope, often in unhealthy ways.

Healthy boundaries are flexible and can change as the situation requires or demands. Boundaries are a big issue in knowing who I am. Boundary violations cause me to not know who I am.

Day 3 My authentic self and boundaries

Knowing my authentic self in relationships is not always easy. I cannot find myself through the actions of others—feeling good because of someone else’s accomplishments; for example, my child cannot live my dreams for me. I also cannot allow others to define who I am or what I like; for example, being told I like green and not blue. Knowing my authentic self is what comes from within me—yes, I really do like blue and I will find and live my own dreams.

Knowing my authentic self includes recognizing the boundaries that exist between me and other people. In the days and weeks to come, the meditations in this book will help me better understand my physical self, my social self, my intellectual self, my psychological (emotional) self, my sexual self, and my spiritual self.

Understanding My Physical Self

Day 4 My body

I have a physical body regardless of my age. My body is the house that holds who I am. I did not choose my body. I did not choose how my body looks. The genes I received from my biological parents determined a lot of how my body looks and functions. The epigenetics is the expression of the genes (they can be turned on and off), what determines some of the current ways that my body functions. During this reflective moment, I will explore the part of me that is comprised of my physical self.

Day 5 Health issues

I may have health issues, such as heart disease, stroke, cancer, or diabetes or the risk of them, that are inherited from my birth parents. This I did not choose and I cannot change. What I can choose is how I live my life—and my lifestyle may improve and/or reduce my risk of developing even diseases that I am genetically predisposed to. This means my body will become healthier so that I can be healthier mentally as well as spiritually. Adopting a healthy lifestyle will mean making changes in how I live. This is a slow process, as change comes slowly. One of the best things I can do is to walk—this produces physical benefits as well as promotes emotional stability. Another area that brings significant change is eating a healthy diet. I am willing to make changes to improve my life.

Day 6 The way I look

I may or may not like the way I look. Self-acceptance is the first step in moving forward with this issue. As I decide that I am okay just as I am, I can choose to improve the way I look. I choose the clothes that I wear; I can choose ones that make me look better and that are pleasing to the eye. I choose the way I style my hair; I can choose something that is flattering. If I wear glasses, I can choose glasses that are appealing and fashionable. Then, there is the issue of body weight. If my body is not at a healthy weight, then I can choose to change this. It may take a lot of hard work. I may need help to reduce my weight, and I can choose to find safe people to help me change.

Day 7 Body and emotional connection

My body affects the way I feel. When my body is sick—if I have a cold or the flu, for example—my emotions are affected too. I do not feel on top of the world or very positive or grateful in life. This is the symbiotic relationship between the body and the mind and the soul. It also goes the other way. If I do not feel on top of the world or my emotions are down, then my body does not feel as good either. I have the power to decide to change how I think and reflect—and so I can affect my emotions. I can decide to treat my body healthily so that I am more likely to feel better. I want to make changes today, so that I can get to know myself better and to feel better—to be in my creative zone more often.

Day 8 Sexual as in the physical

Part of my physical health is my sex organs and hormones. I am male or female; those are the sex organs that I was born with. For a male it is testicles, penis, and sperm along with male hormones. For a woman it is breasts, vagina, uterus, clitoris, fallopian tubes, and eggs enough for a lifetime. Along with this comes the female hormonal cycle. This affects who I am—it affects my emotions and social interactions. In finding my physical sexual self, I choose to endorse who I am. If this is not possible, I will explore it with professional help.

Day 9 Physical health

The physical body that I have is what I was given through my genetic makeup from my birth parents. This I cannot change. But I can change the way that I treat my body. Proper exercise, nutrition, fresh air, sunlight, and water are all part of what my healthy body needs. I can learn to meet these