Personal Revolution: How to Be Happy, Change Your Life, and Do That Thing You've Always Wanted to Do

ADVANCE PRAISE

"Allison is like an orchestra maestro, waving her baton at your positive thoughts and bringing their volume higher. Then she waves that magic wand over at your truth, at your creativity, at your confidence, at your perseverance, and she organizes it all into something you can do."

— Katya Lidsky, Writer, Actor, Advocate, Mother, Los Angeles, California

"Allison is an incredibly gifted coach. If you’re ready to take that next step in life or just need help balancing on the step that you’re on, trust Allison to be that powerful force to help you reach your goals sooner than you could have dreamed. She took our little dream of being real estate designers and investors and helped us launch our careers. We're now proud owners of

investment properties and have a portfolio to boot."

— Sarah and Nick Karakaian, Co-Owners of Nestrs, Columbus, Ohio

Allison and I had four phone sessions over two months, and in that two months I had accomplished more on a personal level than I had ever before. Allison inspired me to go further than my goals, and as a result I am a happier person.

— Rachel Vine, Television Writer, Los Angeles, California

My work with Allison began as I desired more out of life after having a baby. She helped me cast out self-doubt and together, we discovered my passion in life. Soon after, my husband and I began to see her for couples coaching. Allison helped us to uncover an amazing opportunity by relocating to another state. Since moving, life has been more rich, calm, and optimistic. I am so excited for what lies ahead and I owe this beautiful experience to Allison's guidance!

— Michele Missonellie, Nutritionist, Entrepreneur, Fort Wayne, Indiana

It was as if she knew my goals (and my potential) before I recognized them. Her life experience is unmatched, as she has lived every day to its fullest potential. And in doing so, she’s inspired the people around her to follow suit.

— Carly Kincannon, Owner, America's Sweethearts, Astoria, New York

I came to Allison during a difficult career transition, with a lot of questions and very few answers. She has a tried-and-true process that focused on me, my needs and my questions. I had a lot of balancing to do as a full-time career mom, and I was pleasantly surprised and grateful that her coaching touched all of the important areas of my life, from self, to career, to relationship, to family.

— Lynnette Colalillo, User Experience Consultant, Cedar Grove, New Jersey

Allison helped me find my post-baby career identity during a time when I needed more than a friend or family member’s ear.  Because of her support and nonjudgmental approach, I have been able to accomplish 100% of what I set out to do in my work with her.

— Lizzy Swick, Owner, Lizzy Swick Nutrition, Montclair, New Jersey

My Mount Everest, or monster under the bed, as Allison humorously referred to it, was my financial situation. I could no longer run away from the frightening reality of it. Well, with Allison's guidance, encouragement, knowledge of resources, and positive approach, the topic of my finances became manageable and a little less scary. Since working with Allison, my life has improved in too many ways to name. I can say that my greatest achievement has been that I have stopped running away from whatever is thrown at me. I feel as though I am plugged into life again.

— Maria S. Chassen, Teacher, Lycée Français, Manhattan, New York

I started working with Allison at a point where my life was undergoing a major change, and I was struggling to find my path forward. Allison helped me organize my brain and my life, and in a careful, organized and forward-looking way, worked with me on a plan. I look ahead with renewed confidence and excitement. Thank you Allison!"

— Andrew Rosenthal, Editor and Writer, Montclair, New Jersey

ALLISON TASK

PERSONAL

(R)EVOLUTION

HOW TO BE HAPPY, CHANGE YOUR LIFE, AND DO THAT THING YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO

PEACH ELEPHANT PRESS

This book is designed to provide information that the author believes to be accurate on the subject matter it covers, and is written from the author’s personal experience. In the text that follows, many people’s and company’s names and identifying characteristics have been changed, so that any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, companies or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any references to resources and materials produced by other entities are purely the author’s own interpretation. The author does not imply an endorsement from any of the sources cited within this book.

isbn 978-0-9951103-1-1 (paperback)

isbn 978-0-9951103-2-8 (kindle)

Personal (R)evolution: How to Be Happy, Change Your Life, and Do That Thing You've Always Wanted to Do

Copyright © 2018 by Allison Task.

All rights reserved. Neither this book, nor any part of this book, either print or electronic, may be used or reproduced in any form or by any means without the express permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. Failure to comply with these terms may expose you to legal action and damages, including copyright infringement.

Cover and Author Image © Nick Levitin

First Printing, 2018

Peach Elephant Press

This book is for each of my clients.

I thank you for opening your hearts and minds and lives, and inviting me to help you be your best you.

Thank you for helping me realize my career goal, and for bringing the pages of this book to life with your stories.

CONTENTS

Introduction

ONE:

Where Do You Want To Be? SMART Goal Setting

TWO:

Your Goal in the Context of Your Life—The Whole Life Model

THREE:

C’mon Get Happy: Practice Happiness and Gain Momentum

FOUR:

 Identify & Connect with Your Network

FIVE:

Connect with and Expand Your Network

SIX:

Frameworks that Elevate Your Thinking and Inspire Momentum

SEVEN:

Doubt Crusher: Tactical Tools to Help You Break Through and Take Action

EIGHT:

Close the Deal

NINE:

Celebrate, Rest, and Repeat

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

I’m Allison Task, career and life coach, and author of this book. Thanks so much for picking it up.

Before you jump in, I’ve got a question for you: Why did you pick up this book? It’s a real question, something only you know, and it’s important for the work we can do here. So kindly share your reason—say it out loud, write it down, or draw a picture.

Ok, thanks! That’s helpful. If this book delivers on its promise and has the ability to take you from here (where you are now) to there (the reason you’re reading this book as stated above), what would the latter look like? What’s that situation you’d rather be in? And for this, kindly take as much time as possible and be as detailed as you can.

When I have my first session with a client, there is a reason they’ve walked through the door. There’s something they want to do, to talk about, to change in their life. My goal with this book is to help you just like I help the clients I see in my office. I want to help you do that thing you want to do.

And the best way to move towards it is to name it—to say what that thing is. So thank you for doing that.

A life coach helps you clarify where you are, where you’d rather be, and then helps you bridge the gap. I am a life coach, and I work with clients to do just that.

I wrote this book to compile all that I’ve learned coaching clients over the last decade plus and put it in one place, so more people would have access to the type of coaching I do—the coaching that has been so effective for my clients.

I sincerely thank you for picking up this book and giving my methods a shot.

I want this book to be helpful to you, to be an active tool, as if you’ve got your very own life coach in your pocket. Through this book, I want to do for you what I do in person for my coaching clients: become your accountability partner, a good question asker, holder of the vision of your best you, and clarifier of the Goal you want to achieve. While I may not physically be with you during your sessions, through this book you will enter an ongoing series of coaching conversations with me.

Together, we'll get real clear on what you want, determine why it’s important to you, identify and remove whatever it is that’s holding you back from achieving your Goal, and replace it with positivity, possibility, and momentum. Then we’ll create a plan for how you’ll get it, identify people you already know who can help you, and who you need to meet.

I believe in each person’s potential to initiate positive change in their life. My goal with this book is to help you believe in that thing you want to do and your ability to do it, so you can make it happen.

Ready?

WHAT IS COACHING?

You’ve probably worked with a coach at some point in your life—maybe it was a soccer or a baseball coach. They were different from a parent or a teacher. They helped you learn something, do something, gain a skill.

And then, if they were a good coach, they saw potential in you that you may not have seen in yourself. They saw something in you, carried a vision for what you could be, and helped you get there.

A coach collaborates with you to develop a vision of your best self: a vision of you based on your values, talents, and skills (existing or to be developed). Then that coach serves as an accountability partner and helps you realize that Goal.

It’s a powerful relationship, fulfilling for both parties, I can assure you. It’s not unusual that I check my email and get a message from a client that yes, he was offered (and accepted) that job as Head of School in Brazil; that yes, after that important conversation with her boyfriend, he proposed; that he was offered that fellowship at Harvard he had been driving toward. My in-box is a joy to visit!

Coaching is not cheerleading, teaching, consulting, or therapy. A coach helps you conceive, navigate, and pursue your path.

You know when you watch the Olympics and someone just nails their performance? That’s solid coaching. So when my clients achieve their Goal, we share that incredible feeling of joy. And that celebration, the recognition of the accomplishment, is part of the process (more about that in Chapter 9).

But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. I geek out on Goal setting and Goal achievement, and the general badassness of my clients in general, one of which you are close to becoming. So forgive me. And welcome to coaching. I’ve been waiting for you.

HOW DOES A COACH HELP?

Have you ever noticed how slow your computer becomes when you have too many programs open? Well, the same thing happens with your brain. When you're holding on to too many separate thoughts, ideas, or emotions, your mind moves slowly, and fresh thoughts (opening new programs) become more difficult. Much like your pokey computer, competing thoughts and negative emotions take up valuable processing energy until your thinking is sluggish.

As a coach, I help clients return efficiency and creativity to their thinking. By helping clients identify which thoughts are helpful, and which thoughts are less so, clients can close some of the programs they don’t need (negativity, doubt, should-talking—more on that in Chapter 6). By closing some of the unnecessary programs, we can free up space in your mind’s RAM (random-access memory) to make room for the fresh, original thinking that will allow you to conceive new options and make changes.

I help my clients structure and prioritize their thoughts and ideas so new solutions can come forth.

John came to me because he was having a hard time choosing between two jobs. He had already prepared a list of pros and cons, and was still stuck. Together, we developed a weighting system for his list, based on his personal values and the importance of each category on his work/life balance, salary, sense of purpose, and commute. By asking John questions about his values, and weighting the criteria he had set, he was better able to navigate the puzzle of decision making with his own fresh thoughts.

Watching my clients engage in fresh thinking is a blast, like watching a baby take his or her first steps, or watching a gymnast finally nail a back flip. Have you ever seen an older child or adult experience snow for the first time? You can almost experience it with them! In fact, your brain is able to empathize with that freshness of experience, so you actually do experience it with them.

Fresh thinking is like a fresh spring breeze after a long winter, it lightens and lifts. With it, my clients foster the momentum that will carry them forward to take action and move toward their Goal.

Simply put: A coach helps you think (different).[1]

WHY CHOOSE ME AS YOUR COACH?

You may be wondering what makes me qualified to be your coach. Well, as a certified life coach with more than 12 years of experience coaching private clients, I've helped hundreds of clients initiate positive change in their lives. And, in addition to helping others navigate major transitions, I've also experienced them myself.

I know firsthand how scary it can be to change your life. I also know how rewarding it is when you finally do! And the ride is much more joyful (and efficient) when there’s someone to share it with. As your coach, I'll be with you every step of the way.

Here are some highlights:

I grew up as a pretty normal suburban kid in Rockville Centre, Long Island, New York. I was the oldest child, with a brother four years younger than me. My mom converted to Judaism after she met my dad. I mention this because I was raised Jewish in a town that could be tolerant of difference, and yet somewhat anti-Semitic at the same time, which was an interesting way to grow up. I was five when the first neighbor shut the door in my face, telling me she couldn’t play with me because I was Jewish. I didn’t completely understand the rejection. I did, however, learn from it.

These days, many experts tout the value of rejection, so I credit those early experiences (there were many more) with helping me build resilience. Rejection is a gift. The more you experience it—the more you get used to it and still persevere—the easier it will be to call on that skill throughout life. You’ll need a strong cache of resilience in the face of rejection if you’ve got things you want to do in this life.

I was selected to be in the gifted and talented program in elementary school, which was nice—in part, due to the Pygmalion effect (which I’ll describe more in depth in Chapter 6). Simply put, the selection