Beyond the Diploma: Portraits of the Post-Grad Adventure

Beyond the Diploma

Portraits of the Post-Grad Adventure

Ashane Govind

new degree press

copyright © 2021 Ashane Govind

All rights reserved.

Beyond the Diploma

Portraits of the Post-Grad Adventure

ISBN

978-1-63676-724-6 Paperback

978-1-63730-043-5 Kindle Ebook

978-1-63730-145-6 Digital Ebook

For Mom, Dad, Anissa, and Asarra.

My muse, my best friends, my family. Thank you for showing me the importance of identity. I am who I am because of you.

Contents

Author’s Note

Introduction

A Generational Shift

Agency and Autonomy

The College Experience and the Post-Grad Transition

My Autonomy and the Search for the Right Path

The Quest for Success, Happiness, and Fulfillment

Culture & Community

Part of a Work Family

A People Person!

Crippling Indecision: A Case Study

Culture & Community: Summary

Relationships

The Power of Mentorship

The Weird Manager

The Valuable Relationships

Relationships: Summary

Family

A Family-Shaped Dream

The Ultimate Responsibility

Strawberry Picking

Ambition Halted

Family: Summary

Passion for Doing

How Do I Define Passion?

Go Learn Something New

A Future Storyteller

Passion for Doing: Summary

Passion for Something

The Art of Embracing the Things You Love

Pure Joy

The Bird Scientist

Passion for Something: Summary

The Dream Job

What’s Next?

How to Make a Dream Job

Something Missing

Skin in the Game

An Elusive Dream

The Dream Job: Summary

Abundance

Balance through Polarization

The Point of Balance

My Career Isn’t Everything

Repairing Broken Wings

Abundance: Summary

Goodness

What’s the Best Way to Save a Life?

The Good Fight

Take Your Time

Becoming Her Best Self

Duty Unlocked

Goodness: Summary

Faith

A North Star for Fulfillment

Anchored

Chasing Glory

Faith: Summary

Learning and the Mind

Making a Name for Himself

Keep Talking . . . I’ll Find it

Because Everything Is Not What It Seems

Seeking Difference

I’m Just Being Lazy

Learning and the Mind: Summary

Bucking the Narrative Fallacy

The Closeted Artist

A Tailored Fit

A Personalized Definition of Happiness

Living for Yourself

Now He’s One of the Absurdities

Bucking the Narrative Fallacy: Summary

Identifying Values

Intellectual Curiosity

The Why

The Challenge: Self-Awareness and Self Actualization

Looking Inward

A Personalized Standard

The Impact of Change

Agency and Autonomy x Intellectual Curiosity (A Crossover)

Acknowledgments

Appendix

If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.

—Toni Morrison

Author’s Note

My name is Ashane Govind.

If you click on my LinkedIn profile, you’ll find that I've worked at The Walt Disney Company and Capital Group. If you look at my Instagram account, you’ll see that my family and I have a cute little goldendoodle named Mac.

What no online presence will tell you about me, though, is that I embarked on a self-discovery voyage shortly after graduating from college. I didn’t experience a single life-altering moment; instead, my journey was the product of half a year’s worth of conversations that I had with my mentors and my friends.

What I found was extraordinary.

I learned that self-discovery is the golden key to unlocking happiness, success, and fulfillment.

During my journey, I discovered what I genuinely care about. I realized that my values drive every—every—decision I’ve ever made, even if I wasn’t cognizant of it. So, I began a special project, a deep dive into values, to learn more about the most incredible people I know—specifically, how their values have influenced their post-grad decisions.

This is not a self-help book, and I’m not going to tell you what to do. I see this book as a piece of art; I am sharing with you a gallery of identities and portraits of the post-graduation adventures to highlight the brilliance of human diversity in the context of post-grad self-identification. Like most art, everyone will see what they need to see or want to see. Everyone will extract personal meaning for themselves.

I wrote this book because I love connecting with people and learning what they care about. As a high school marching band section leader, I loved teaching students and connecting with them through music. When I was president of my college club, nothing excited me more than meeting and inviting new members into the community. And now, I am filled with joy by building relationships at work and reconnecting with old friends in writing this book. Through engaging with others and indulging in what I enjoy, I learned some pretty concrete things about myself and others that I want to share with you.

I realized that my struggles and insecurities were valid and just because I’ve made mistakes in the past, it doesn’t mean I’m eternally doomed. I’ve learned that other people handle challenges differently than I do. And I’ve learned that dealing with conflict can help us grow into more mature and empathetic individuals. Experiences like these give us all a unique outlook on life. We’re all different.

While learning about how others think, I also found that my present is simply a product of my guiding principles. I subconsciously put myself in situations that match the elements of life I love.

And it turns out I am not the only person who feels this way. Based on my observations, everyone is at a different stage of their journey and has different reasons for being where they are and for where they are going. Everyone sees the world and their place in the world differently.

At its core, this book is a testament to how diverse people are and how immensely valuable it is to learn about yourself. I hope you can join me in celebrating the people whose stories are carried in this book. You might be surprised by how much you learn about yourself from doing so.

Introduction

In 2020, four million students in the United States graduated college.¹ From the childhood days to the commencement speeches, many, including myself, were guided every step of the way. We’ve been told all our lives that there are quantifiable metrics to guide us in what decisions we should and should not make in order to be successful. We’ve been told:

This is the minimum SAT score you should get.

This is the minimum GPA you should have.

These are the colleges you should graduate from.

These are the professions you should go into.

These are the companies you should work for.

For twenty-one years, my definition of success has only ever depended on how many of these goals I could check off my list. During my post-grad journey, I have realized that the real world does not come with a set list of instructions and gold standards. I wanted to be happy, successful, and fulfilled in my life and was forced to figure out how to get there on my own. Along the way, I’ve learned a few things that have helped me find my footing in a new life. My goal in writing this book is to inspire you to lay a personalized foundation for a happy, fulfilling, and successful post-grad adventure.

* * *

As a college student, which wasn’t too long ago, the conversations about post-graduation can be hyper-romantic.

I can finally eat more than just pasta and ramen.

I’ll be done with homework for good.

I can finally do whatever I want and live my life how I want to.

These thoughts range in depth and complexity, but no college student knows how they are going to react to a life without the structure of school until they actually graduate. One common misconception is that post-graduation life can finally move at a more relaxed pace than college. Another is that college spurs growth and development, while the real world simply reaps its benefits. From the eyes of many college students, post-graduation is the time to manifest the goals created in college.

Maybe for you, post-graduation was when you really started soul-searching. Maybe you dove headfirst into your passion project. Maybe you realized everything you worked for in college was a mistake. Maybe you fall somewhere in the middle of that. Through my conversations, I learned that life after college has the potential to capitalize on the personal growth we see in college and lead to a far more rewarding life.

Why is this the case?

Because for the first time in our lives, we have freedom to make our own choices. Throughout college, the framework for success was defined by others. But after graduating, you can hold yourself to your own standards and a personalized definition of success. You are the designer of the life you want to lead.

You are the designer of the life you want to lead.

It’s important to keep in mind that there are limits to our autonomy. Social and economic circumstances benefit the privileged and oftentimes enable them to pursue a greater amount of autonomy in their lives. But everyone, to some extent, is granted agency and autonomy in adulthood. It’s more than just an age thing, though. We’re amid a generational shift toward greater flexibility in our livelihoods. I’ll explain this further in later chapters.

* * *

I believe that everyone is different, so it’s important to figure out who you are. I’ve found today’s happiest individuals create their own framework for satisfaction and success in their early adulthood. Some approach their framework consciously and spend their time defining and redefining each step of their life. Others approach it in a more relaxed manner, and their subconscious drives their decision-making process. Many think about some parts consciously and let their subconscious carry the rest. Later in this book, I’ll share with you some things I’ve learned that can help you cultivate a better sense of self-understanding. Rather than focusing on how you attain your goals, maybe stop and consider why you even have those goals to begin with.

While we can observe and study the greatness that some of today’s brightest minds are capable of, the framework with which they approach their careers and lives is a very personal discipline. Everyone faces circumstances that they cannot control. The people you’ll read about found themselves through their achievements, failures, and reflections and have leveraged their experiences to identify what’s important to them. They’ve started to base their decisions and measure their successes not on a yardstick handed to them by someone else, but rather on an internal scale that they built themselves. It’s no different for you; the framework you design for your life contains nuances that make it unique to you.

If you’re a college student nearing graduation or a high school student considering college, you may find value in reflecting on how and where you want to leap into the unknown. If you’re in the middle of your career and feel lost, weary, or uncertain, maybe constructing an internal framework can help you feel more grounded and secure. Or if you’re a parent or loved one of someone ready to take a big step forward, maybe you can step into their shoes or help them identify what’s important to them. We’re never too old or too young to think about the things that are important to us.

For much of this book, I’ll share the real stories of dozens of fascinating individuals—each of whom I regard as a dear friend. You’ll read about ten recurring themes behind different pursuits of happiness, success, and fulfillment through some unique perspectives. I’ll also pass along wisdom that they’ve shared with me and insights on how these themes have influenced their post-grad life. These themes aren’t all-encompassing; there are countless things that we hold dear to ourselves, including tangible facets of life and the intangible qualities that define our identities, and every single one that you hold close is valid.

You’ll read about Mei, a Walt Disney Imagineer; Karin, a Fulbright scholar; Abrahan, an undocumented immigrant with a world-class business mind; and Dan, an ex-actuary turned data scientist. You will learn why they chose to follow certain paths. Their identities have been protected, though I hope the realness of their stories shines through.

I also interviewed forty other people who have influenced my personal journey, and I’ll share their stories, too. While reading them, you might find that most individuals are career-oriented, and many have backgrounds and aspirations in the finance, technology, and entertainment industries. Additionally, most are of South Asian and East Asian descent. The reason is simple: these are my friends. When I began writing this book, I was twenty-three years old. Many of my friends and peers were from college or my limited working experience. I chose to interview and write about the friends who have notably influenced my personal journey and who have had a profound impact on my life. I’m telling these stories not to preach how you should live your life but to share with you how their lives have influenced mine.

The people whose stories I’ll share reflect real learnings that I picked up along my path. They’re people who I’ve learned from, and I hope you can find a connection with a few of them to find a balance between some of the themes I’m sharing. I want you to find inspiration from the nuances of their experiences; maybe something you read can help propel your post-grad life into a state that brings you confidence and happiness. At the end, I’ll share some practical tools like intellectual curiosity and self-awareness and share how these ideas have helped me develop a better understanding of who I am. I’ve used these concepts to pave my own personalized path toward success, happiness, and fulfillment. Join me! Maybe you’ll find that you can too.

1 Jessica Bustamante, College Graduation Statistics, educationdata.org, accessed January 24, 2021.

A Generational Shift

Our livelihood is something we construct ourselves. It isn’t up to anyone else to decide what criteria we use to call ourselves successful. This standard isn’t just a product of graduating from college. It’s the product of a generational shift toward greater flexibility in our career and in our life.

In 2019, the Bureau of Labor Statistics completed a forty-year study on the generation of Americans born between 1957–1964—the later years of the baby boom. They collected data on thousands of people across all races, education levels, and socioeconomic statuses, and found that the average person born in this time held 12.3 jobs in their lifetime.² That number—according to another study using similar demographics—will rise to somewhere between 15 and 20 for millennials—a significant increase³. A LinkedIn survey of people across various industries, including entertainment, professional services, government/education/non-profits, energy, and manufacturing suggests that millennials are job-hopping 20 percent more than previous generations.⁴ Even over the last six years, job turnover rates across all industries have increased by about 3 percent, which further indicates a recent trend toward career mobility.⁵

Here’s the punchline: people are working more jobs in their lifetimes than before. But why is this happening?

This is a large-scale question. There is no definitive reason why people are quitting their jobs more than they have in the past. But it is clear that today’s young workforce possesses a willingness to take advantage of opportunities to advance their careers and survive in a competitive, capitalist society.

I’ll begin by talking about loyalty.

Like I mentioned earlier, the new generation of workers is holding more jobs than the generations prior. One could infer that the millennial generation is a disloyal one. But when asked, only about half of millennials believe their employers are loyal.⁶ Peeling back the layers of why millennials are leaving jobs more than before reveals a new story—one that shows mutual disloyalty.

Loyalty is often mistaken to mean tenured. But the definition of loyalty is more nuanced than that. Loyalty is remaining constant in your support of somebody/something.⁷ The workforce isn’t remaining as constant with their employers, but the employer’s support of their workers is diminishing.

Consider this: the average raise (defined as annual increase in wages) was 2.9 percent from 2019 to 2020 and hasn’t deviated from that in recent history.⁸ Yet housing prices over the same span have increased by over 4 percent and the cost of goods have increased by about 1.5 percent. ⁹, ¹⁰ Considering the cost of living is outpacing wages, one can only wonder how workers can be expected to be tenured at one job without even thinking about higher-paying opportunities.

I won’t get into why this situation exists. I don’t think anyone is 100 percent to blame, and I think discussing it can quickly evolve into a chicken-or-the-egg question. The takeaway is that loyalty is becoming increasingly rare. Workers are less loyal to their jobs, and jobs are less loyal to their workers. And there are takeaways from this that we should consider after graduation.

One theme of employee-employer disloyalty is the advancement one can find in a career simply by switching jobs. Try this on for size: job-switchers, compared to those being promoted within their own place of work, earn between 1–5 percent more by leaving their company as opposed to being promoted within.¹¹, ¹² This phenomenon occurs in construction, manufacturing, finance, real estate, education, health services, and professional services. In many industries, switching jobs is a way to make more money. But there’s also a non-financial, career development angle to this as well.

Akumina’s 2019 Millennial Manager Workplace Survey states 75 percent of millennials find that job-hopping is a tactic that can advance their career and enable them to lead a trajectory in accordance with their goals. This strategy is working. Ninety percent of millennial managers believe that their skillset is being utilized in their current role. Flexibility and heightened career mobility are positive outcomes for millennials who feel that their talents are being otherwise underutilized.¹³

Another outcome of the increase in job-hopping is a reduction of the stigma that job-hopping negatively impacts one’s job application. For years, many (myself included) were warned against holding too many jobs in a short period of time. Well, as it turns out, 57 percent of millennials believe this stigma is losing ground.¹⁴ While extreme job-hopping might still be a red flag to some, finding new opportunities every few years is a net positive for today’s workforce.

The stigma is all but gone, as millennials continue to show they are not afraid of new opportunities. People are realizing more than ever that work can provide more than just money. The Net Impact Talent Report indicates that this generation of the workforce is more concerned than any generation before about maximizing happiness and fulfillment at work. The next-generation workforce is more concerned with personal well-being and satisfaction than with perpetuating a societal view of what work should be.¹⁵

The relationship between these factors is not the focus of this book. But the