The Price of Success: Understanding the Cost of Getting a College Degree

Copyright © 2018 Yvonne Brooks.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-4305-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-4306-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018901598

iUniverse rev. date:    02/07/2018

CONTENTS

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1   Perception

Chapter 2   Self-Image

Chapter 3   Body Image

Chapter 4   Diet

Chapter 5   Financial Wellness

Chapter 6   Relationships

Chapter 7   Balance

Chapter 8   Mastermind College Blueprint

About The Author

Also by Yvonne Brooks

100 Ways to Become a Successful Teenager

Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Bully Prevention Tips for Teens

Financial Planning for Teens

Stress Management for Teens

Emotional Banking for Kids

Middle School Prep 4 Kids

High School Prep 4 Teens

The Power of Questions

College Prep 4 Teens

To my husband, Paul, your prayers have kept me inspired over the years. Thank you!

—Yvonne

To my parents, everything I am today is thanks to your unconditional love and support. I cannot thank you enough for raising me to be full of love and passion. I am forever grateful for you two.

—Nayiri

FOREWORD

I HAVE BEEN practicing as a licensed marriage and family therapist for nine years. I am a certified diplomat of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Academy and participate in coaching the powerful model that draws on evidence-based psychological models to my colleagues. I specialize in providing educational, intensive, social, and emotional services to severely emotionally distressed youth ages between the ages of five and eighteen in school settings.

This particular population endures the day-to-day social and emotional barriers that prevent them from being academically successful. If succeeding in grade school, middle school, and high school is such a battle, what must it be like for these kids if and when the time comes to transition into college?

In The Price of Success: Understanding the Cost of Getting a College Degree, Yvonne Brooks and Nayiri Khatchadourian do a phenomenal job of bringing awareness to the unspoken stressors of attaining a college degree. Society leads students to believe working hard, being the best you can be, and getting good grades are the only things necessary to become successful in college.

The same beliefs that help you become successful during college apply to kids in grade school, middle school, and high school. It is not on the agenda to advise students to take breaks from studying, to help with decreasing stress and anxiety, to take care of themselves, and to maintain a balance between all aspects of their lives. Stress is extremely unhealthy, and not doing well in a particular class is okay because it will not be a determining factor in their academic success.

Without self-care, it is extremely difficult for students to achieve their goals. They may achieve their goals, but it does not necessarily mean they are happy or content with themselves personally. In my professional experiences with teenagers, one of the principal reasons they seek therapeutic services is due to academic stressors and not having the ability to deal with stressors in healthy ways. As a result, kids begin to skip class, refuse to participate in school, and engage in unhealthy activities and habits.

This book depicts the concept of being in tune with yourself and having a positive relationship with yourself and others to focus on your body’s needs. Future success requires increasing and strengthening your relationship with yourself, practicing self-love, building an positive body image, having a healthy diet and lifestyle, and attaining a positive sense of self-worth.

This book is a great transitional tool for seniors in high school and will help them establish healthy habits for college. Students can use this effective self-help tool throughout their college years. Students can always refer back to these wonderful resources and effective exercises.

These exercises mirror the therapeutic models of cognitive behavioral therapy, which help individuals become more cognizant of making healthy changes. This book is a great read, and the exercises will help individuals who are interested in personal growth.

—Vania Damerjian, LMFT

INTRODUCTION

DURING THE SUMMER before eighth grade, my mother and I spent hours online searching for extracurricular activities for me to engage in. In high school, my interest in volunteering and giving back heightened, and I luckily came across the Brooks and Brooks Foundation website.

On August 3, 2009, I had a meeting at the high school where the organization held their after-school programs and met the founder, Yvonne Brooks. Five minutes after my arrival, all of the children suddenly went under the tables and behind the doors. I was utterly confused. Was there an earthquake? Within a minute, a woman walked through the doors. Everyone yelled, Surprise! I met my coauthor, Mrs. Brooks, on her birthday. Since then, she has been a key player in shaping me into the person I am today.

My goal in high school was to be accepted to a prestigious university and then attend medical school to become a doctor. I did well in class, had a close-knit circle of friends, and engaged in many sports like basketball and volleyball. On the night of my senior formal, I got the notification that I had been accepted into UCLA. Although I had never had a dream school in mind, I was beyond excited to be able to attend a wonderful university that was so close to home. I was determined to stay at home and commute, but a lot my perceptions soon changed. A week after my UCLA acceptance, I made the decision to move out. I planned on being active on campus, and the 405 freeway traffic would be time-consuming. I moved into my dorm room with my best friend from high school and another roommate.

During my first year of college, I was a chemistry major. I took many challenging lower-division Chemistry and Science courses. The only advice I was given before beginning school was to stay on top of my work, not fall behind, and not procrastinate. Everyone told me the quarter system would start and finish within a blink of an eye, and sure enough, it did. Beginning in the fall quarter, I stayed on top of my work, didn’t fall behind, and did not procrastinate. I woke up at seven, went to my lectures, returned to my dorm, and studied until midnight.

I repeated this routine and tried to make time to go to the gym. After having a coach and being on a team my entire life, UCLA’s Pauley Pavilion was more than intimidating. It was full of fraternity boys who were competing over who could lift the most weights and girls who went to the gym dressed like they were going to a sorority party. Since I always felt uncomfortable there, I worked out in a tiny spot upstairs.

My schedule was hectic, and my eating habits drastically changed. I didn’t have a kitchen, but I had access to the on-campus cafeterias. The dining halls were only open at certain hours, most of which overlapped with my class times. Sometimes I made it to the dining halls by the time I finished class, but the endless buffet options confused me. I could pick between pizza or a salad bar, cake or fruit, and grilled cheese or grilled chicken. I could also eat as little or as much as I wanted to. I almost always chose the healthier option, but I was limited by how often I could swipe into the dining halls.

Around three hours after I ate, I would get hungry again, especially when I studied late at night. And then the self-doubt began: Am I supposed to eat this late at night? Why am I already hungry? Did I not eat enough? What snack am I allowed to have this late? To