Goddesses Are Ageless: The Girlfriends' Guide to Health, Happiness, and Vitality at Any Age

Welcome, Goddess

You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and irresistible for the rest of your life.   ~ Coco Chanel

A FRIEND RECENTLY POSTED on Facebook that at age 55, she was proud of where she was in her life:

I find myself, for the first time, making plans for MY future. I have all the experience and knowledge from years of digging and travelling the underground, I now can take the time to muse, to choose, to start through a door of my own creativity. I am alive, I am a creator, I have talent, now, what will I be?

This is how we should all face our better half, the second half of life. We can enjoy a new softening, a new patience, a new calm, a new wisdom. We can take our nose off the grindstone and PLAY. And you’ve earned it, Goddess.

Facing Aging

Bette Davis famously said, Old age ain’t no place for sissies.

A few minutes after arriving at my 20-year high school reunion, having found no one I recognized, I approached two men standing together and said, This is embarrassing. I don’t recognize anyone. In chorus, they said, Yvonne! It turned out they were members of a future business leaders group I had been involved with. I felt bad that I’d not recognized them, but I was surprised how much they had changed in 20 years.

Ten years later, at my 30-year high school reunion, I texted a friend who was on her way to confirm I was in the right place. My first thought had been that I’d come to a reunion for my parents. Thirty years can take its toll. And so can 40.

I recently showed a dear friend a photo of a woman who I felt looked 20 years older than me and told my friend that she and I were the same age, expecting her to be shocked. But my friend said, So?

Ouch.

Is it possible we have prosopagnosia (facial blindness) for our own faces, seeing them as we were rather than as we are? Profiles on dating apps frequently read, People say I look younger than my age. But how often is this true? I don’t feel my age—60 at the time of this writing—and although I feel like I don’t look it, I probably do. Besides, what is 60 supposed to look like?

Melanie Griffith famously said we shouldn’t lie about our age, we should defy it. But why do either? Women over 50 (or 60 or 100) aren’t clones. Why then are we bombarded with hairstyles for women over 50 and fashion for women over 50? Let’s celebrate our individuality and every single candle on our birthday cakes. At the time of this writing, Emma Thompson is 62, Christie Brinkley is 68, Meryl Streep is 72, Cher is 75, Helen Mirren is 76, Tina Turner is 82, and Judy Dench is 87. Each lives life on her own terms. Betty White was 99 when she passed and was still a bawdy, vivacious, active, and widely adored woman. We all have the ability to rock our lives, regardless of age.

The Birth of the Book

This book contains everything I’ve learned and know about living life full-out, healthy, and fulfilled. For more than two decades, I’ve been immersing myself in longevity research. My goal is to stay healthy into the triple digits. My youngest son was diagnosed with autism at age two and a half, and being his mom is both a privilege and a responsibility. He is kind and creative and gentle, and knowing there will be a time when I won’t be there for him terrifies me. While we work on his independence and life skills, I work on maximizing my health span. There is so much we can do to live with vibrancy and good health.

Also fueling my desire for a longer health span are the people I love who are dealing with (or lost their battle with) illness and disease. Their conditions remind me how lucky I am to have my health. When I think about skipping a workout, I remember that not everyone can work out. And when I think about eating crap, I remember that putting poison in my body is taking my health for granted and I have no right to do that. I slip up, sure. But I always get back on track.

And what’s the point of living longer if you’re unhappy? Goddesses Are Ageless is also about living the life we’re meant to live. This involves honoring our goals and dreams and taking charge of our mental health, our relationships, and our attitude toward life. We are all connected and the fact you’re reading this book means you’re also looking for a way to live your best life. I celebrate you for that! Although we are each born into different life circumstances and into family dynamics we had little control over, by the time we reach midlife, we receive a beautiful gift every single day: We get to choose how we want to live the rest of our lives. 

The Ageless Goddess

Rocking the Second Half

Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born. ~ Albert Einstein

HOW OLD ARE YOU? IF you answer with your chronological age, that’s one truth. But you also have a biological age, determined by the state of your organs, immune system, heart, chromosomes, and other markers, and this may be older or younger than your chronological age. In a New Zealand study, researchers found that the biological age of 38-year-old participants ranged from 30 to 60!

While our chronological age ratchets up relentlessly year after year, we have remarkable control over our biological age. This is the secret to living healthier longer. Aging occurs at the cellular and hormonal levels. Let’s look at how we can slow, and even reverse, these biological aging processes.

Cellular Aging

When cells are damaged by oxidative stress (caused by free radicals) they turn over, or replicate. (This is called cell division.) They can only do this about 50 or 60 times before replication fails and the cell dies. Genes within cells are protectively encased in chromosomes, which tightly wrap around them. Telomeres are structures at the ends of chromosomes that act like the plastic caps on shoelaces. But each time a cell divides, its telomere shortens. When telomeres become short enough that the genes they protect could be damaged, the cell stops dividing and renewing. This causes cellular aging. Both genetics and lifestyle choices can contribute to telomere shortening. So can stress.

Chronic inflammation also plays a role in cellular death. Inflammaging is the term for chronic, low-grade inflammation because of its relationship to biological aging. While inflammation is necessary for healing—helping the body fight injury and infection—chronic inflammation is destructive. The immune system cells that normally protect us go into overdrive and may begin to destroy healthy cells in arteries, organs, and joints. Early signs of inflammaging are hard to spot because they’re subtle at first (fatigue is a common early signal). Eventually, though, inflammaging can lead to heart disease, vascular disease, diabetes, obesity, cancer, Alzheimer’s, arthritis, and other age-related diseases. 

Inflammaging is a highly significant risk factor for both morbidity and mortality in the elderly people, as most if not all age-related diseases share an inflammatory pathogenesis. ~ The Journal of Gerontolology, June 2014

Hormonal Aging

Hormones are chemical substances that act as messengers and crew bosses, controlling and coordinating activities throughout the body, such as helping to build bones and muscle. They can also contribute to emotional and mental health. Sedentary lifestyles and the Standard American Diet (SAD) can negatively affect the hormonal environment.

When hormone output decreases, this can lead to changes in the skin (wrinkles, loss of elasticity), loss of muscle tone, decreased bone density, and changes to our sex organs and drive. For instance, as women approach menopause, a decrease in estrogen leads to a decrease in vaginal fluids, and sexual tissues begin to atrophy. As men age, their testosterone levels decrease, leading to a decrease in lean muscle and sperm production.

Age-related Disease

I don’t want to live to be 100, some say. The reason is that they associate a longer lifespan with cognitive decline and frailty. But these are not inevitable. Consider the following forms of age-related disease for which lifestyle is a significant determining factor:

●  Cardiovascular disease, especially coronary artery disease, which involves a narrowing or blockage of the arteries that supply blood to the heart.

●  Stroke (cerebrovascular disease) caused when blood stops flowing in one area of the brain because of a disruption of one of the blood vessels. This deprives brain cells of oxygen, and they begin to die very quickly. Strokes may be either ischemic (any lack of blood flow to the brain) or hemorrhagic (caused by a rupture of a blood vessel, resulting in bleeding in the brain).

●  High blood pressure (hypertension), measured by the amount of force blood exerts on the walls of your arteries when your heart pumps.

●  Cancer, the runaway growth of abnormal cells.

●  Type 2 diabetes, a disorder in how your body uses glucose from food and involves insulin resistance.

●  Parkinson’s disease, a progressive neurological disorder involving tremors, stiffness, and halting movement. (It’s believed that genetics and environmental factors are causal here, including exposure to toxins. Traumatic brain injuries, such as from an automobile accident, can also be a cause.)

●  Dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease, which causes a loss of brain function and may involve memory loss, mood changes, confusion, difficulty communicating, and poor judgment.

●  Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), a reduction of airflow into and out of the lungs due to inflammation in the airways, thickening of the lining of the lungs, and an over-production of mucus in the air tubes. Lifestyle causes include smoking (including second-hand smoke), occupational contaminants, and industrial pollution.

●  Osteoarthritis, a degenerative joint disease, and the most common form of arthritis. Risk factors include genetics, obesity, and prior joint injury.

●  Osteoporosis, known as brittle bone disease, and characterized by loss of bone mass, leading to thinner, weaker bones. Vitamin D deficiency is common in those afflicted. Ways to prevent it include a diet rich in calcium and vitamin D, not smoking, and doing regular weight-bearing exercise.

●  Cataracts, a progressive cloudiness in the lens of the eye that may be associated with exposure to UV light, smoking, and diabetes. Surgical correction, if necessary, is straightforward and involves removing and replacing the lens.

●  Age-related macular degeneration, which makes it difficult to see objects directly in front of you, although peripheral vision is often unaffected. Risk factors besides age include smoking, race (Caucasians are more susceptible) and family history.

●  Hearing loss, which occurs due to the deterioration of tiny hairs within