Conflict Resolution Relationships: 101 Proven Strategies To Be In Complete Harmony With Your Partner

CONFLICT RESOLUTION RELATIONSHIPS

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION FOR COUPLES

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101 Proven Strategies To Be In Complete Harmony With Your Partner

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Lela Payne

Table of Contents

chapter 1:  24 Tips For Conflict Resolution In Relationships

Chapter 2: 6 Important Conversation For Couples To Have

Chapter 3: 6 Ways To Deal With Gaslighting In A Relationship

Chapter 4: Dealing With Abuse In Relationship.................20

Chapter 5: 7 Ways To Forgive You Partner....................24

Chapter 6: 6 Ways On How To Make Your Partner Feel Loved....28

Chapter 7: Ten Ways Men Fall In Love.

Chapter 8:  10 Ways To Attract Love.........................39

Chapter 9:  6 Signs You Are Emotionally Unavailable............43

Chapter 10:  What Is The Meaning Of Life?...................47

Chapter 11: 8 Signs Someone Misses You.....................50

Chapter 12: 7 Signs You Have Found A Keeper................54

Chapter 13: 6 Gestures That Make People Feel Loved............58

Chapter 14: 7 Relationship Goals For Your First Year Of Marriage..63

Chapter 15: 10 Signs You’ve Outgrown Your Friendship.........66

Chapter 16: 10 Signs To Leave A Relationship..................71

Chapter 17: 10 Life Skills You Need To Have..................76

Chapter 18:  6 Ways To Create A Great Online Dating Profile.....81

Chapter 19:  How To Stop Getting In Your Own Way...........85

Chapter 20:  10 Tips To Stop Liking Your Crush................89

Chapter 21: 6 Signs You May Be Lonely......................93

Chapter 22: 6 Ways To Transform Your Thinking...............97

Chapter 23: 10 Habits Of Sergey Brin.......................101

Chapter 24: 6 Signs You Have Found A Real Friend............106

Chapter 25:  6 Dating Red Flags To Avoid....................110

Chapter 26: 6 Ways To Be More Confident In Bed.............114

Chapter 27: 6 Signs You Have A Fear Of Intimacy

Chapter 28:  A Guided Journal For Anxiety

Chapter 29:  4 Ways To Make A Guy Chase You

Chapter 30:  10 Ways To Deal With Breakup

Chapter 1:

24 Tips For Conflict Resolution In Relationships

It’s normal to have conflict in relationships. People are different, and their desires and needs will inevitably clash. Resolving disagreements in a healthy way creates understanding and brings couples closer together. The objective should be the betterment of the relationship. This is positive conflict. Below are 24 suggested rules for actualizing this goal.

The Role of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is essential to assertiveness and healthy communication, which lay the foundation for avoiding fights and handling conflict. Unfortunately, this isn’t the norm, especially among co-dependent couples. Not having had good role models for expressing anger and handling conflict, one or both partners is usually passive or aggressive.

When it comes to disagreements, low self-esteem leads to:

Taking things personally

Defensiveness

Inability to express needs and wants

High reactivity

People-pleasing

Not taking responsibility for behaviour, feelings, and needs

Inability to be honest

Undisclosed expectations of others

Rules of Engagement

In positive conflict, ideally, you’re able to verbalize your needs and wants and mutually work out compromises. Your intent and how you approach differences are critical. The objective should be to resolve a dispute to the satisfaction of both of you. It’s not about winning and losing. You can win an argument, but the relationship may suffer if your partner feels discounted, deflated, or resentful.

Planning when, where, and how you approach a disagreement is important for achieving satisfactory results. It’s helpful make up rules of engagement in advance. Here are suggested 12 Do’s and 12 Don’t’s. You won’t be able to achieve all of them or any all the time, but they’re guidelines to strive for:

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DO:

1. Make it okay to agree to disagree. You don’t have to agree on everything. Try to accept irresolvable differences that don’t violate your values.

2. Have time-limited discussions and stick to the pre-set time. A half-hour is plenty. You can always reconvene.

3. Work through things as they come up. Don’t stockpile resentments; otherwise, each postponement becomes a block to the next communication.

4. Remember to maintain goodwill by separating the person you care about from the behavior. Assume he or she is doing their best and isn’t hurting you intentionally.

5. Take responsibility for your behavior, needs, and feelings. Use I statements to share your feelings and thoughts about yourself. This doesn’t include I feel you’re inconsiderate. Instead, say I feel unimportant to you.

6. Examine what unmet needs are making you angry. With I statements, be direct and honest about your feelings and needs in the relationship. Communicate the positive consequences of compliance.

7. Listen with curiosity and a desire to understand your partner, and to see the world through his or her eyes. When you don’t understand, ask for clarification. Remember that your partner is telling you his or her experience. It reveals the truth about them, not you. You’re free to disagree, but first see where the person is coming from.

8. Use a we approach. We have a problem, not My problem with you is . . .

9. Rather than demand your way, brainstorm solutions. Request your partner’s input, especially when it comes to changing his or her behaviour.

10. Take a time-out if you start to get angry. This allows you to calm down and stop reacting. Reassure your partner that you’ll resume.

11. Use breaks to take responsibility for your part, think about solutions, and to self-soothe any hurt feelings.

12. Communicate your fears and guilt in the relationship.

DON’T:

1. Don’t have controversial discussions when you’re tired or the bedroom, which should kept a safe place.

2. Don’t make accusations or use the words, always or never.

3. Don’t bring in allies – other people’s opinions – or make comparisons to others.

4. Don’t switch topics, or retaliate with, but you did . . .

5. Don’t judge, blame, belittle, or be sarcastic or dismissive in words or facial expressions, such as rolling your eyes or smirking.

6. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind.

7. Don’t analyse your partner or impute motives or feelings to him or her.

8. Don’t interrupt or monopolize the conversation.

9. Don’t react or defend yourself. Instead communicate your point of view.

10. Don’t bring up the past – anything more than a few days old.

11. Don’t rolodex grievances. Stick to the current one. You don’t need more evidence that you’re right and your partner is wrong.

12. Don’t compromise your bottom lines in the relationship, if they’re non-negotiable. It will lead to more conflict later.

Chapter 2:

6 Important Conversation For Couples To Have

How many kids you want, how often you floss, what flavour wedding cake you're imagining — these topics aren’t exactly appropriate for first-date conversations. But by the time you’re in a serious relationship, there are certain subjects you absolutely must discuss if you’re going to continue to build a healthy partnership.

So, whether you’re already hitched, thinking about shacking up, or even if you’ve been dating for years without any intention of moving in together or getting married, this list is for you. Check out the six discussions you and your partner need to have, STAT.

1. The Dolla-Dolla Bills Discussion

Even if you’ve never explicitly talked about money, you probably already have a vague idea of how much your partner makes and how he/she likes to