Love Better Live Happier: A fun and simple guide to make and keep godly friendships the way God designed them to be; connected and joyful.

Love Better Live Happier

Copyright © 2022 by Pastor Gwen Henry

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

ISBN

978-1-959314-55-4 (Paperback)

978-1-959314-56-1 (eBook)

978-1-959314-54-7 (Hardcover)

This book is dedicated to my husband John M. Henry Jr., the love of my life, who seeks tirelessly to support me, who fell asleep at the bookstore on numerous occasions while he waited for me to finish writing;

and to women that have ever wondered who they could call for a Word, a shoulder to cry on, a good laugh and a smile of affirmation anytime.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Focus

Foreword

Introduction

Part I: Understanding Why This Is So Important

Chapter 1: My Journey’s Story

Chapter 2: It’s Hard to Take a Journey While You’re Locked in a Castle

Chapter 3: It’s Called Intimacy/ Who Really Cares About Me?

Chapter 4: Loving Yourself

Chapter 5: Women Have It

Part II: Preparing for Your Journey

Chapter 6: Getting Started

Part III: The Trip

Section I: GIRLFRIEND TO GIRLFRIEND

Day 1: You Are So Beautiful

Day 2: In the Company of Sisters

Day 3: Am I My Sister’s Keeper

(for Marjorie)

Day 4: Mercedes Driving Sister

(for Yvonne)

Day 5: Baking Bread

Day 6: Dressed Up

Day 7: His Good Thing

Day 8: Cause and Effect

Day 9: Submission

Day 10: Fire and Knives

Day 11: Big Beautiful Mouths

Day 12: This Line of Thought

Section II: SOUL CONNECTION

Day 13: Praise

Day 14: When I’m with the Saints

Day 15: Dance

Day 16: Keeping It Real

Day 17: Blessings

Day 18: Privileged

Day 19: Prayer Closet

Day 20: Basic Like Food

Day 21: Rest

Day 22: Watching

Day 23: With Me in Mind

Day 24: Connected

Day 25: Come to Me

Section III: WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU, TOO?

Day 26: Arms

Day 27: How to Form a Relationship

Day 28: Wandering Hearts

Day 29: Special Gift

Day 30: The Desires of a Heart

Day 31: Inside a Rut

Day 32: Love Letter

Section IV: RETREAT

Day 33: Renew

Day 34: Crooked Paths

Day 35: He Restores My Soul

Day 36: The Vial

Day 37: His Mind Is Full Of Me

Day 38: Take a Deep Breath

Day 39: Narrow Places

Day 40: Welcome

You’ve Made It!

Appendix

About the Author

Unless otherwise noted Scripture are taken from the Holy Bible.

Scriptures noted KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture taken from the new King James Version Copyright© 1979, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the Message. Copyright© 1993,1994, 19995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright© 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations taken from AMPLIFIED BIBLE, Copyright© 1954, 1958, 1965, 1987, the Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

There are so many people who helped me make this project come alive. First of all I acknowledge my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who placed this ministry in my heart, this gift in my hands, and this destiny in my path. Nothing could be accomplished without Him. I give Him all praise and glory!

To my children: Jake, Kim, Chris, Ness, and Johnny who never assumed for a minute that I wouldn’t write this book. The faith of children is awesome!

To my pastor-friend Elder Leonard Chapple Sr., who like Mordecai to Esther, allowed God to use him to help bring this destiny to pass.

To my church families, Latter Day Ministries COGIC, and Stronghold Christian Church who believed in me, cheered me on, and committed to buying my book. Actions do speak louder than words.

To my newest editor friend, Tracy Allen. You are a God send.

To Sherrell, my little sister in Christ and other ways, who strengthens me with her unconditional love.

To my sister-girlfriends, without whom the stories wouldn’t get told.

FOCUS

Confess your faults one to another and pray for each other that ye may be healed; the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous (wo)man availeth much. James 5:16 King James Version (KJV)

FOREWORD

Communication is very important to our social and emotional well being. It allows us the opportunity to process information, seek wisdom and guidance, and just simply release our feelings. God often speaks of the benefits of us communicating with Him and with each other.

We all have secrets in our lives, things we want to talk about, but for obvious reasons we fear the reactions of the people we share our lives with. Then, there are times when you just want to vent. All you want is for someone to listen; and just say uh uh, you don’t want advice, nor criticism, but just for them to listen to you and nod every now and then so you know they are still listening.

Everyone needs a real friend who will tell them the truth no matter what the outcome. Someone who doesn’t mind telling you when you are wrong, but also will go to bat for you when you are right.

We all need someone in our lives that we can be real with, no airs, who will still love us even after seeing us at our worst. Someone who will put up with us through our moods, (for women that can be a rollercoaster) cries with us, laughs with us, and supports us.

Love Better! Live Happier provides a means of allowing women to process their thoughts and feelings. It provides provoking conversation and self evaluation. It is just a good book to curl up with, relax and enjoy a good laugh. It’s like talking to one of the sisters.

Dr. Sherry Gaither

INTRODUCTION

•When we look at shows like Housewives of anywhere we see glamour, we see fun, but mostly we see drama. With episode titles like Loose Lips and Lawsuits,- HWO Orange County and Who’s Calling Who a Fraud- HWO Salt Lake City, and I Would Never Say That.- HWO Beverly Hills it’s not wonder women outside the limelight would prefer to stay shy of these friendships. These shows center around the connection the women have with each other. The deeper the friendships, the larger the drama, and the higher the ratings typically are." ¹

•The ratings may go up but these dramas and scrimmages result in many hurt feelings, broken friendships and even broken relationships that can lead to major trauma. They are the result of carnal living and carnal thinking. Messy.

•Fortunately, God’s model of female friendships is not like this. God calls us to friendships that will inspire us, extend us, and encourage us. That’s what this book is—a tool we can use to learn and confirm God’s model of friendships among us ladies. We are not victims of the enemy’s ploys to keep us apart. We are leading ladies in the friendship business if we allow God to design them. No more messy friendships.

•Do you know how many ladies leave conference after conference, workshops and even church services, only to eventually find themselves battling life’s issues alone – without the loving prayers of a close sister?

God made us that His love would flow freely from heart to heart but we seem to have a problem.

Jesus said in John 13: 35 "By this shall all men know that we are His disciples by the love we have for each other." People are not saying how much we love each other; they’re saying how much we can’t get along! We need a divine impact by God to stir things up and get His love poured out by the Holy Spirit moving again.

That’s What this Book will Do for You

This book provides the tool and the opportunity to practice intentionally releasing and freeing the love that Christ has given you. The tool? Basic talk. 40 days of conversations, prayer and God’s Word that will absolutely change the way you respond to your girlfriends, sisters, church-friends, and sister-friends- even for those not so friendly friends. Starting with those who are close to us or at least in close proximity is a great place to begin releasing the love of God. It is said that charity begins at home.

How Does it Work?

You and your friends will go on six planned fun times with good conversations within a 40-day span of time - 40 days of reading, thinking and focusing on sharing yourself in love with those who also love God. The Bible says in Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart so is he:... Proverbs 23:7a (King James Version).

Think of it as a trip. We love to take good, inspiring, fun trips, ladies. Doesn’t everyone? Plan your six conversations like you would a trip where you will meet to discuss what insights, revelations and illuminations God has given you from your reading and meditation. Get your mind and your days ready.

You don’t have to go at it alone; I have divided the book into four sections, a compilation of 40 short conversations in all. You can let your guards down because the format provides a comfortable atmosphere where my girlfriends and I open the conversations with our stories.

Every day you will read the day’s entry and make notes about what you would like to share with your friends. When you get together on your planned outings, you share. That’s it!

In your communication, you will discover a secret-something happening that may surprise you. A drawing together, a bonding, a sisterhood will develop. It’s a proven fact that time spent together brings about connection. Now, don’t allow the spirit of fear to rare it’s ugly head. God hadn’t us the spirit of fear but Power, Love and a Sound Mind. At the trip’s end, you would have begun a wonderful, undeniable habit of releasing the love of God that fills hearts and wins souls. I’ve even given a list of ideas for places and activities you can choose from.

The Four Sections

The book is divided into four sections each with a different focus that will stimulate enlightening and encouraging conversations. Here they are:

Section I is called: Girlfriend to Girlfriend. It deals with some subjects that helps us to connect with each other and further understand the feminine roles in which God has destined us to walk.

Section II is called: Soul Connection. It deals with the best love of our lives, God, and reaches into our core identity which connects us to our source. It reminds us that we belong to the family of God.

Section III is called: Was it Good for You Too? It helps us to put our sexual and relational needs in God’s perspective. Life can be great but sometimes life is not as good as we thought it would be. But with God’s love freeing us we can accept His divine purpose and love others freely.

Section IV is called: Retreat. This part of the book provides a way for you and your girlfriends to retreat from the hustle and bustle of the day. It is the final lap, the last eight sessions that blanket us with the familiar comfort of emotional outlet releasing our souls to the loving Savior.

Other Features

Within the sections, except for Retreat, each chapter contains an inspirational Poem/ Creative Prose that quickly gets to the meat of the subject. (One of the quickest ways to a person’s heart is through poetry.) This is followed by the Author’s Commentary, intermittent with stories from my girlfriends. This is followed by a Prayer (reminding us that we are praying for each other together) and a Scripture Verse or Verses that lock in the principles discussed. (Our safety lies in the Word.)

The Sister Tip in each chapter is a practical and fun suggestion that helps you reach out to other women in building relationships and sharing Christ’s love. Remember, Faith without works is dead, (James 2:20). You can do these with your girlfriends who are taking the journey with you or others.

Discussion Starters will help get the talking between you and your girlfriends going strong.

Even though Love Better! Live Happier can be used as a personal devotional, or a ladies’ bible study the entries were written to be discussed with your friends in social settings. I believe the experience with other hearts will add so much more insight.

Meet My Girlfriends

I’ve decided to include the stories of my girlfriends as an example of sorts to the conversations you may have with your friends. It’s a wonderful thing for me to share these friends with you because before I learned to love better, my friendship group was very small.

My new revelation: I can’t live this life all alone and God doesn’t want me to. I thank God for my girlfriends. Each one adds something to my life and