Consequences and Compassion: Lessons from the Front Lines of Drunk, Drugged, and Distracted Driving

I dedicate this book to my late father, Clevelon Marshall, and to my offspring, Jasmine, Orlando, Dazarae, and Richard III. I also want to thank my mother, Alleta Bronaugh, Chief Allen Banks and the Round Rock Police Department, and all of my students over the years at Funny Bone Defensive Driving Class.

I have only just a minute,

Only sixty seconds in it.

Forced upon me, can’t refuse it.

Didn’t seek it, didn’t choose it.

But it’s up to me

to use it.

I must suffer if I lose it.

Give account if I abuse it.

Just a tiny little minute,

but eternity is in it.

—Dr. Benjamin Mays

Copyright © 2023 LaDonna Claude

All rights reserved.

Consequences and Compassion

Lessons from the Frontlines of Drunk, Drugged, and Distracted Driving

isbn hardcover: 978-1-5445-3767-2

paperback: 978-1-5445-3676-7

ebook: 978-1-5445-3677-4

Contents

Preface

Chapter I

Chapter II

Chapter III

Chapter IV

Chapter V

Chapter VI

Chapter VII

Chapter VIII

Chapter IX

Chapter X

About the Author

Synopsis

Preface

I have worked as an instructor at Texas’s Funny Bone Defensive Driving for more than seven years, and I am always thinking about driving. Specifically, I am always thinking about DWI—driving while impaired. During my classes, I can tell that my students are connecting with what I say. After all, many of them are there hoping to have their tickets dismissed. The information I share makes sense to them, and even if they don’t leave my class perfect (because no one is perfect), every student has learned something by the time they return to their day-to-day lives.

Over time, I’ve started to describe the destruction we cause when we receive a DWI as setting a fire. These flames can grow to engulf not only you but everyone and everything around you. This destruction is prohibitively expensive. If I can help just one person decide not to strike that match, then I have done something worthwhile.

This means so much to me because I have seen flames that have burned lives to the ground. I am personally familiar with the gut-wrenching feeling of looking all around and seeing only fire, choking on the smoke. I know what can happen in these situations and how quickly they can spiral out of control.

Still, I want to make it clear that my intention is never to judge anyone. To me, love and forgiveness are the only ways of life. I believe that God is love, which is why I love you too. It is not my role to stand in judgment of you. That is not what this book is about.

This book is about consequences. It is a careful examination of a hundred different reasons not to light a DWI match and set the life you know on fire. My intention is to carry over the valuable information I uncovered and discussed in the classes that I’ve taught. Every class I have taught has motivated me to share my thoughts in this format. I am eager to share what I know but first, I want to warn you that as you read, it may get intense. This book may open your eyes to things that you haven’t considered or acknowledged before. For me, learning this information was a revelation; one that helped me see that we are all a part of this.

It is important to mention that this book is not going to try to convince you to stop drinking or abusing drugs. While I don’t drink or use drugs, I believe you have a right to choose whether or not to do so. It is up to you. This is your life to plan and your life to live. My goal is to provide you with information and a second perspective, so you understand the consequences of your choices and your actions.

As you read this book, you may develop some questions. Do I think this person or that one deserves a DWI? Do I have compassion for everyone who gets a DWI? Yes, I do! As you read, I hope you realize where I stand. Whatever the case, know that these are simply my thoughts based on years of study and reflection. Facts are always key in any case, and the details of DWI laws can update or change. Revisions happen often, and to stay up to date, you need to keep learning too.

Everybody Is Somebody

In an instant, your life can change. As it so happens, an instant is exactly how long it takes for a lot of people in our society to decide your life doesn’t hold value any longer. One and done: that is what they think about mistakes, especially mistakes like a DWI that can cause harm.

Before I go any further, I want to clear up a point that commonly confuses people: the difference between a DUI and a DWI. The reason this point is so confusing is that the terms are used differently from one jurisdiction to the next. Some states use the term DUI across the board, while others use the term DWI. In Texas, we say that a DUI is for someone under the age of twenty-one. A DWI is, on the other hand, for someone over the age of twenty-one. DWI stands for Driving While Impaired, and DUI stands for Driving Under the Influence. Other people refer to a DUI only when there is alcohol involved.

For the sake of simplicity, I am going to use the term DWI throughout this book. I will frequently talk about the three Ds of DWI, which are driving, drugs, and distraction. Any of these things can lead to a car accident, and any of these things can lead to a criminal charge.

As an aside, if you are under the age of twenty-one in Texas, then the local minor consumption laws apply to you. These are not free passes. If you plead guilty to a DUI, you are subject to almost all the same penalties that would fall upon someone who got a DWI. The only difference is that the judge is more likely to consider your eligibility for pre-trial programs to avoid jail time and a criminal record.

If you or someone you care about has been injured due to someone else’s DWI, I feel for you. I have read about and heard about so many of these cases. I am all too familiar with the pain and strife they can cause. It sometimes seems that hurt sticks with you for the rest of your life. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to shake off the weight of what has happened to you. As a result, you look for someone to blame. You lash out, understandably, at the person who was driving when they should not have been.

However, know that in this book, I am going to show some of the Christian compassion I believe everyone deserves. As difficult as it is to see the world from that perspective; as challenging as it may be to understand that mistakes happen and all we can do is pick up the pieces and move on; I am going to ask you to try to do that. Try to think about what life is like for the other person, for the one who was driving that day, for the one who caused you harm when you were only minding your own business.

Time and again, I have seen evidence of this truth: everybody is somebody. Each of us has something to offer in this world—even if that is only the beauty of our spirit that our Creator has endowed us.

Compassion comes naturally to us all. It is our birthright. All of our lives have meaning. We can all step up, when necessary, to do more than we ever thought possible in the past.

There will be times when you are reading this book, especially if you are navigating the post-DWI process, where you may feel down or self-critical—when you may struggle to show yourself compassion. I am not going to hold anything back, because I believe it is important for you to receive all of this information. Still, I am not going to wear you down and give you nothing to build yourself back up. I am going to list the consequences and the realities inherent to the post-DWI process, as well as actions that you can take to change your life for the better. You can pick up the pieces and do something different from now on.

As a defensive driving instructor, I frequently meet people when they are at their low points. My number-one duty is to impart my knowledge to my students and to clear up any misconceptions they may hold about driving, drinking, drugs, and distraction. I also take on the role of motivational speaker, counselor, and evangelist. When one of my students needs to unload their burden and talk about what is going on for them, I feel a responsibility to listen to them. I