Manifesting: The Practical, Simple Guide to Creating the Life You Want

Introduction

TO MANIFESTING AND ALCHEMY

About Me

I had arrived in Denver with a broken heart. Some months before, a seemingly chance encounter had brought me into a full-on soul-to-soul connection with a kindred spirit. That sense of suddenly being at home in another’s presence. Of having known each other before. It had surprised and delighted me. In an instant, I saw many potential possibilities for a future us. It’s something us manifestors are known for. We believe truly anything is possible and often visualize what we want. But in the time since, it became increasingly clear that this yummy possibility would not come to fruition after all. Bereft, I had woken from my fog and realized I wasn’t going to get what I wanted here. Not with this guy anyway. Just in time for a scheduled cross-country conference, I carried my heavyhearted disappointment onto the plane, along with my overloaded suitcase.

You belong in the life of your dreams. And you don’t belong anywhere else.

—Tama Kieves

It might seem like an odd or bold choice to start a book on manifestation by fully admitting a recent failure. A time I was way off. Featuring none other than the one that got away. You’d be absolutely right to think that. And this wouldn’t be the first time the words odd or bold would be used to describe me and my choices.

I mean, after all, shouldn’t I be a glowing example of the perfect life? Every dream realized, every wish fulfilled, with nothing left to do but sit on a beach, drinking mai tais and counting my money while Mr. Right massages my feet?

Well, dear readers / future manifestors / dream weavers, I have a much, much more interesting journey to share.

In the twenty-three years since I started actively creating what I wanted, my life has changed so dramatically, I can hardly recognize myself. I am happier, healthier, more prosperous, and more creative, and I love myself more than I ever knew was possible. And along the way, I’ve also encountered every possible pitfall, wrong turn, and pure delusion that can greet you on this journey. The ego snafus. The things I created I wish I hadn’t. The old stories and beliefs that got in the way. And I’m going to share it all, along with steps for recognizing and healing these missteps. We all have them. The creative process is fraught with what can feel like failures. But what’s fascinating is the mistakes end up being an essential part of uncovering your best life.

Because the last thing the world needs is a self-help book that ultimately makes people feel bad about themselves. Not happening. Not on my watch!

So back in Denver, I’d finished off the second day of the conference and had an hour free before I met a group for dinner. My hotel room had a comfy round love seat with an ottoman and velour pillows. I curled up there with a blanket and my laptop, my eyes taking turns between a Netflix stand-up comedy special and the gentle snow blowing past the window. It had been an unusually warm winter in my home state of New Jersey, and I had been craving just this, snow.

I glanced at my phone to check the time: 4:30 p.m. Thirty minutes until dinner.

It seemed like such a mundane act. Checking the time. Something I can do five hundred times a day. Wasn’t exactly what one would expect for entrance into a supernatural experience. There were no drums beating, no chanting, no scent of incense in the air. No deities descended into the room, trumpets blaring, sharing profound news. But that’s exactly what it ended up being.

In my mind, I was transported back in time to ten years before. I was sitting in my office where I was a counselor in a social service agency. At that point, I had been there for thirteen years, which was already five years too long. What had once been a dream job had turned into a nightmare. I had grown and evolved past what was conceivable in this setting. My approach to being in service to others had shifted, and I felt stifled, frustrated, and bored. There was no room for me to bring to the job what I was most passionate about. Outside of the office, I was learning everything I could on manifestation, energy, and healing. Reading books, meditating, praying, visualizing, tapping, balancing. All that ended at my office door.

In the meantime, the job description, CEO, funding, and the company itself had changed, none for the better. But within that ever-widening gap between who I was becoming and where I remained was that darn security with all its plain-Jane seduction. Paid vacation and holidays. Good benefits. And a guaranteed source of income, every two weeks, right on time. How could I possibly leave? I looked up at the clock: 4:30 p.m. Thirty more minutes. Thirty interminable minutes. Every day had become in some ways the same day, and my adventurous spirit was dying. I was either counting down the minutes to freedom or the days until a holiday or a vacation. I spent each lunch hour numbing out to what I affectionately called online travel porn, watching other people visit exotic countries, hike through jungles, share gourmet meals with new friends, essentially living the kind of life I wanted to live. And here I was, staring at the clock, waiting for 5:00 p.m. and the temporary freedom on the other side of it.

Then in an instant, I snapped back into the present day. My mind, heart, and body became flooded with gratitude and love. Here I was, 4:30 on a Tuesday, curled up in a beautiful room, in a lively city I had never been to and always wanted to visit, laughing and savoring the sweetness of it all. Here I was, in a hotel filled with loving, kind, fellow manifestors, spending my day listening to heart-opening live music and inspirational talks, my travel paid for. On an ordinary Tuesday! Can you believe it? Here I was, counting down the minutes to join sweet friends for a farm-to-table dinner, where we would share deep appreciation for one another in a way that brought tears to my eyes. One would mention a particularly valuable quality he felt I brought to our team’s efforts, and I was awakened by it. Here, I learned something new about myself. Here I was, in a career I cherished, helping others in the ways I know truly work and sharing the good news of that to anyone who would listen. Speaking, traveling, teaching, and sharing healing on stages, on podcasts, and in interviews. Here I was, living the life I had always wanted to live. This was it. I was and am here.

If I had a selfie stick and captured this, I have to tell you, the scene would not have appeared Instagram-worthy. No beach, no Mr. Right, no size 6, and honestly, the lighting in that room was just terrible. There wasn’t even a fan to give me that sexy blowing-hair look. And remember, there were no mystical lights or signs. But I was exactly where I had always wanted to be. No time clock to punch. No waiting for the interminable minutes to tick by, rescuing me from my miserable reality. No numbing out to images of others’ lives.

My temporary heartache had had me distracted, focusing my mind and energy on the one thing in my life that wasn’t working (yet). Perhaps that sounds familiar. Have you ever had a paper cut? Those painful little suckers will force your attention on lockdown. Here 99.9999 percent of your body is just fine, and you keep thinking about that paper cut. Why doesn’t the company just go paperless already? And this wouldn’t have happened if they had lotion in the restrooms, and I really should be drinking more water or my skin wouldn’t be this dry, and how come nobody seems to be able to create a softer paper? And man, this really hurts! And … and … and … You could stay trapped in that loop forever!

A divine intervention generously cut through my despair and reminded me of what I had lost sight of. I have created—and will continue creating—the life I’ve always wanted. And I’ve done that using the very principles, practices, and skills I am sharing here. All in a no-nonsense, no-BS, no-squeaky-shiny-image kind of way.

Becoming a manifestor meant becoming more of my true self, with all my edges, weirdness, and ultra-realness coming into hyper-focus. I’ll leave the Kardashians and the rest of the influencers to their soul purposes. They know what they’re doing. Mine looks different, and so does yours.

To be normal is the ideal aim of the unsuccessful.

—Carl Jung

Yes. You can create the beach, the money, a tight butt, and a beautiful love relationship. Or anything else you want as well.

Not overnight. (Although some manifestations happen quite quickly. Growth is a process. And you will be growing.)

Not all at once. (There’s always something to work on.)

And your ideal life may indeed look insta-picture-perfect. Or it may look like ordinary on steroids. Or it may seem to the outside world like a fun house mirror strapped to roller skates on a Ferris wheel, but it will make sense to you.

It just might look like something you could never have expected at all.

What I can guarantee is that adventure awaits.

You were born with a sacred mission.

We all know this intuitively. We are most in touch with this knowing when we’ve lost sight of it. We’re feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled. We realize one, five, or forty years have passed and we still haven’t (fill in the blank) _________________ (gone to China, written that book, paid off the debt, learned to sail). Within that discontent is your ticket out of it.

Allow it to move you forward.

To take a chance.

To take a risk that you are more than what you think you are.

And that you’re capable of more than you know right now.

And that maybe, just maybe, you can have more than you’ve dreamed possible.

And that there is a power in the Universe supporting you every single step of the way.

There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions in a way that serves the world and you.

—Sir Richard Branson

Our goals realized bring the amenities of life. The bonuses, the extras, the gifts. The empty hotel hot tub. The delivery of fragrant flowers. Room service at the perfect time. They come from saying yes to your mission to be who you came to this planet to be. But what you let go of on the path to the goals: the misguided ideas about yourself, the painful memories, and ill-fitting cultural conditioning, that’s the good stuff. You get it. You really get it. You’re worthy of more. And you, with all the things you don’t like about yourself, will realize you are unconditionally loved and supported by a Power Greater Than Yourself. Exactly as you are right now. And I’m not just referring to the metaphorical you authors use. I’m actually talking about you. Do you know how I know that? How I can say that when we’ve likely never met? Because we all are. Those inner longings, to love and be loved, to express, to create, to achieve, to wake up, and feel better already are calling you forward into more. May this book be a friendly companion and guide to support that process.

Manifesting Is Alchemy: Turn the Lead of Your Life into Gold

There is a reason why you’ve chosen to read this book. Everything, every choice, has a reason.

There’s something or somethings that you feel you’re missing. Or you’ve been stuck and nothing is moving forward. Or there’s a still, small voice inside that whispers, There’s more to life than this. There’s got to be.

Maybe you’ve been struggling financially. Perhaps this struggle feels eternal, like it’s always been there, or possibly recent events have turned your once solid financial world upside down.

What about love? Do you have a heart longing to be ensconced in the arms of a happy partnership? Have other attempts at true love simply missed the mark?

Or your health and vitality are lagging and the aging process is unmercifully speeding up. There’s only so many supplements a person can take.

And then there’s career and accomplishment. Do you grow numb the second you get to the office? For once, can you just get into a line of work where you thrive already?

There is nothing more important than developing your imagination to transform your life from the inside world of your thoughts and feelings to the outside world of your results and manifestations.

—Neville Goddard

Normally, we approach these changes from the outside, trying to make different choices out there to create a change of state in here.

You get a Costco membership and cancel cable to save money, hoping that will give you a greater sense of security. Or you download the latest dating app. Maybe this pool of people will connect you to the One. You find an exercise video on YouTube and get cracking on improving your health. Or hire a career counselor to offer direction.

In and of themselves, these could be all worthwhile choices. But we are going to leave the action steps for later.

First, we start with creating change from the inside out.

You’re entering a journey. A journey where you will consciously create what you want to do, be, and have.

You’re soon to become an alchemist!

That’s what the act of manifesting is all about. The alchemists of old spent lifetimes on the pursuit of turning the material of lead into gold. They didn’t hop on a horse or camel or wander aimlessly in the forest or desert looking for gold. They took what they had and transformed it.

And once you’ve embraced the alchemical principles and practices, you’ll realize that you are a powerful creator. And it didn’t take a lifetime to become one!

Let’s get started!

Everything that exists is in a manner the seed of that which will be.

—Marcus Aurelius

Why Take a Chance on Manifesting?

I’m asking you to take a giant leap of faith here.

I’m asking you to believe that you’re capable of having, being, and doing more. And I’m asking you at the same time to love yourself and your life right now as they are. I’m asking you to open to what for me was a radical concept: that creating a succulent and satisfying life can be fun, simple, and exciting. I know full well you will come face-to-face with a few limiting beliefs, old memories, and people to forgive. And that isn’t the fun part. But on the other side of letting the past go is the buoyancy we all crave. To flow with the rhythms of life instead of sinking. And I don’t approach any of this lightly.

We are far larger, more daring, and more creative than we imagine.

—Julia Cameron

Settling

Our deepest longings are vulnerable parts of ourselves. Maybe when you were growing up, your needs and desires weren’t met, or were ignored or even shunned. Maybe you experienced a disappointment with a heartbreak or other loss. Those longings got buried under settling. Settling for what is, what’s easy, what’s around. But those desires are still within you, awaiting your attention.

Here’s what I’ve learned about settling. As a former safe player, settling was always appealing to me. Just accept what is, Kris. This ________ (job, love, opportunity) may not be what you really wanted. But at least it’s ________ (here now, available, being offered). Be grateful already! Who are you to expect more? And then a most unsettling thing would happen each time I settled. The yeses, the checked boxes, the good parts about what I had settled for would change. The seemingly loyal but selfish boyfriend mocked me to a mutual friend. The job’s great benefits became less great, then not so good, then nonexistent. I would observe helplessly as what met a few of my needs was slowly eroded.

You always end up settling for less than what you originally planned for.

I’m going to say this: Take a chance on more. Take a chance that there is a benevolent force for good in the Universe and you can work with it. Take the risk! You are worth it.

And if you’re still asking why you should bother, here are points to consider.

The Status Quo Is Overrated

The status quo is the current nature of existing states of your life. As it is, right now. You can be grateful for all that you have now, and I encourage this. It doesn’t mean you can’t also desire more. Status quo = the same. The same = safe. Safe = boring. Safe = unfulfilling. Safe = potential passing you by. Safe = believing you don’t deserve more. No matter who you are, no matter what life looks like for you, I’m happy to share that there is more available.

Every single person who ever advanced civilization forward, whether that was in areas of entertainment, arts, politics, social justice, science, technology, economics, philosophy, agriculture, and more, was someone who decided there could be another way. There could be a better way. You can be that kind of person as well. Do you want to advance the very nature of life? Or accept what’s unconsciously been created so far? You have that chance right now.

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people just exist.

—Oscar Wilde

Being Open Feels Better Than Being Closed

This says it all. Being closed is like living inside of a cage. Each time you’re presented with a new possibility, you run headfirst into the bars. Ouch! Openness feels light, soft, and free. And don’t we all want to feel that? Even when what’s possible feels outside your current comfort zone, the other side of fear is excitement. That excitement can carry you forward to big ideas. Those big ideas then become big manifestations.

Changing Yourself Creates Change for Others

As you change, as your life changes, your very essence or energy field changes into one of potent potentiality. Without saying a word, you become a living embodiment of prosperity, health, vitality, love. And you bring yourself wherever you go. This creates shifts in the collective consciousness. Want to change the world? Changing yourself creates change in the field, affecting everyone. When enough people live from this place, radical positive change will occur across the globe. Closer to home, the relationships with the people in your immediate circle begin to shift. Empowered people empower others. Changed people know change isn’t only possible, it’s actually quite doable. And transformed people know how to transform life as we know it, creating good for everyone else, not just