Wyatt Burp Rides Again

1

Bad Guys? What Bad Guys?

Now that the evil Dr. Dastardly was behind bars, all was quiet in San Francisco. Bank robbers stopped robbing, jewel thieves stopped thieving, cat burglars stopped bothering cats ... and Jo Schmo didn’t know what to do with herself. Jo was a crime fighter, and right now there were no crimes to fight. So she went into her backyard and banged on the door of her grandpa’s shack. Her grandpa Joe, that is. It can get a little complicated when there are two Joes in one family—Jo and Joe. But more about that later. For now, Jo was banging on the door of ... Joe.

Who’s there? the old man yelled.

It’s Jo.

Joe?

No, Jo.

"Oh, Jo. Thought I was talking to myself for a second there. Come in, Jo."

Jo opened the front door to the shack and went inside. I’m bored, Grandpa, Jo began. "Bored with a capital B"

This was true. Jo Schmo was bored. Bored with a capital B. And a capital O and a capital R and a capital ... well, you get the idea. The only thing worse than being bored with a capital B was being bored with a capital X. If you were bored with a capital X, it meant not only were you bored but also you’d lost your ability to spell.

Bank robbers, car thieves, terrorists ... I’m not picky, Grandpa, Jo said.

Not to worry, Jo, Grandpa Joe said. The bad guys must be taking a break. It happens.

If there was anyone who understood crime fighting—and bad guys—it was Jo’s grandpa, who was a retired sheriff. Thirty-five years in law enforcement, Jo. Trust me. The bad guys are just taking a break. Sooner or later something will happen and—

I’ll be there to stop them?

You’ll be there to stop them.

Jo hoped so. Since capturing the evil Dr. Dastardly and his semi-evil assistant, Pete, Jo had been twiddling her thumbs, waiting for the next crime wave.

She’d settle for a crime ripple.

Jo made a fist. Hope something happens fast, Gramps. My Knuckle Sandwich is starting to get rusty. If I don’t use it soon, I might forget how. The Knuckle Sandwich was Jo’s favorite move. It was even more effective than the Siberian Ear Tweak.

Grandpa Joe moaned but said, You can practice on me if you like.

Okay, Jo said. Put your face over here, Gramps.

Grandpa Joe leaned closer.

Smack!

Nope. Jo Schmo’s Knuckle Sandwich wasn’t rusty at all.

Jo left her grandfather’s shack and hopped on the Schmomobile. Not every superhero had a supervehicle, but Jo did. The Schmomobile was a supercharged skateboard with a sidecar for her dog and sidekick, Raymond.

Ready to catch some bad guys, Raymond? Jo asked.

Raymond gave her a look that said, Do I like fire hydrants? Are polar bears white? Can fish swim? Well,