Your Time Will Come

Prologue

Siddharth was leaving for his official visit to the Chennai office for a week to oversee its operations and to address his employees. All ready in his sober grey suit, he walked into the hall to see Shanaya standing on a stool. Inching upwards, she stood precariously on her toes, trying to reach the top shelf of the decorative showcase. She was dusting the awards that he had received for his entrepreneurial skills. Though that gave him a tinge of pleasure, he was angry with their maids, Aruna and Varuna, the sisters who did the cleaning and cooking for them. Though they had their own quarters, they were normally up and active around nine in the morning.

Oblivious to everything around her, Shanaya was busy dusting her husband’s precious awards. She felt a surge of pride every time she touched the trophies.

Sid’s thoughts lingered on his new bride. Somehow, he had pulled off the wedding ceremony without the emotional drama, and he had to admit that Shanaya had made a beautiful bride. With her exotic looks and her MBA degree, everyone had claimed that she was the perfect match for him. The job was done. He had honoured his promise to his mother.

Even without any make-up on her face, Shanaya glowed. Draped in a yellow salwar, her flower-patterned dupatta fluttered breezily, enhancing her feminine look. With her loose hair and golden ear hoops, she looked strikingly beautiful. Her healthy skin was flushed with the physical exertion. As any red-blooded male would, Sid enjoyed the beautiful vision his wife projected. She stretched again to take out the next set of trophies. His intuition forewarned him about the forthcoming fall.

Oh God . . . With those words, she fell.

Watch out, Shanaya! Sid ran towards her. With outstretched hands, he caught hold of her as she fell and they toppled together. He made sure that he took the brunt of the fall. Her body caressed him like a feather. Their eyes met. His grip tightened across her shoulders involuntarily. Her eyes widened questioningly, startled. He inhaled her fragrance, and her honey-brown eyes attracted him. He moved towards her reflexively and was lost for a moment.

Siddharth, she stammered in embarrassment. The arch-shaped pendant in her mangalsutra¹ dug into his shoulders.

That snapped him out of the reverie. No, I can’t . . . I shouldn’t, he thought. He pushed her out of his hold vehemently.

Siddharth cursed himself. What had just happened? How did he let the situation go beyond his control? How could he have given in to this momentary temptation? And most of all, how could he do this to Mishti?

A wave of guilt overtook him. His hands went cold and clammy.

I am sorry, Mishti . . . I will not . . . I will always stay true to you. I love you.

An outsider to all his thoughts, Shanaya stood up, dusting her hands, and avoided his eyes. Sid knew that he had hurt her somehow. Going forward, he promised himself that he would not let this happen again. Her face clouded with confusion, and she was about to leave the hall when guilt prompted him to ask, Are you all right, Shanaya?

Perplexed, she nodded and walked away. The hall suddenly seemed empty without her presence. Siddharth dropped to his knees and covering his face with his hands, he whispered sorrowfully, Oh God, I have created a mess! His eyes were glazed with tears.

_______

1In the Indian subcontinent, a mangalsutra (from the Sanskrit word mangala , meaning ‘holy, auspicious,’ and sutra , meaning ‘thread’) is a necklace that the groom ties around the bride’s neck in a ceremony called MangalyaDharanam (Sanskrit for wearing the auspicious), which identifies her as a married woman.

CHAPTER ONE

The End

Fate and fortune hardly take a microsecond to turn, and with it, life changes forever.

***

The alarm buzzed at five in the morning. Eyes half-open, Shanaya stretched her hands above her head.

Time to get going, she instructed herself. After a quick shower, she buzzed around her new home with happiness. The early morning air invigorated her. Why had she not tried waking up early at her mom’s place? She frowned. And when did her home, where she had lived for most of her twenty-three years, become her ‘mom’s place’ all of a sudden, even in her thoughts?

She grimaced. Thinking over it for a second, she concluded that it was the side effect of her being married now.

Turning around, she observed her surroundings. This was ‘her’ place now—the posh penthouse with six bedrooms and an attached servants’ quarter. With granite floors and delicate chandeliers, it appeared elegant, though her favourite spots were the balconies with their teak chairs, overlooking the carefully grown lush grass. The penthouse was huge for two people, and their parents seldom visited them. But she was Mrs Saxena, and she had to adapt to this wealthy lifestyle. As if it is a chore, she chided herself with a smile.

She had moved to Bangalore after she married Siddharth Saxena—the future CEO, responsible for India-Bliss, the magazine. Though the market for paper magazines had fallen steeply over the years, Sid and his family had managed to hold their heads above water and retain their share of readers through the tough times. Her father-in-law monitored the North India operations and worked from their office in Delhi, while Siddharth covered the rest and operated from their headquarters in Bangalore.

As a new bride, she was determined to get that elusive title of ‘best bahu’² from her extended family, which included her mother-in-law, who was staying with them for a few weeks to help her set up a new home with Siddharth. Her thoughts went to him, and she blushed. Theirs was a perfectly arranged marriage, set up by their fathers, who had been the best of buddies in the past but had lost touch over time. But ever since the two men met at Connaught Place, Delhi, three months earlier, there was no turning back. Their rekindled friendship pushed them to set up her wedding with Siddharth.

But no one had forced her to marry him, and the option to decide had been left to her. Shanaya first met Sid when their families got together at a restaurant in Delhi. His six-foot-tall stature attracted her. His jet-black hair along with his shrewd eyes made him droolworthy. She observed his gentleness on the surface but sensed the strength of steel underneath when he wanted things his way. With his muscular physique and his olive complexion, he was exceptionally handsome. But what pushed her to say okay to Sid, even more than his good looks, was her father’s happiness. She had never seen as much unadulterated joy in her parents’ eyes as when she had given a smile of approval as her response.

With her, Siddharth was friendly yet reserved. Even a week after the wedding, they had not crossed ‘that’ boundary. There was an invisible wall around him, which was hard for her to break through. But she was glad that he was giving her the space to adjust to her new life. She wanted to build a solid relationship with him before stepping into the intimacy of marriage. She admired him for his physical restraint.

With a smile hovering on her lips, she breezed into the hall and opened the small cabinet under the mesmerising statues. Varuna was cooking today, while Aruna was cleaning the house, and they were chit-chatting amongst themselves. She had her morning free.

Her book of mantras sat peacefully inside, taking in the positive vibes generated by the crystal arowana fish on the top. She noticed the big hardbound Shiv Purana underneath. The cover was blissful, and being an ardent devotee of Shiv, she was tempted to read it again. As she pulled it out, a couple of other books toppled and fell on the floor. She admonished herself for her carelessness as she bent down to pick up the books.

A red diary caught her attention. She opened the front page. SIDDHARTH SAXENA. The letters were in bold.

Could she read it? Was it not a violation of her husband’s privacy? She closed it guiltily as her good intentions questioned her.

But we are a couple, her heart argued back. Curiosity got the better of her and she opened the diary excitedly. As any eager bride would want to, she too yearned to understand her husband completely and craved for even a titbit of information about him. She flipped through the pages and found a folded piece of paper inside. Curious, she scanned through the contents. As she did so, her face turned pale. The smile vanished from her lips. Pain etched her forehead. Her world stopped spinning.

Her fingers trembled as her dreams crashed around her. She could not believe what she had just read. She closed her eyes and hoped that she had gotten the context wrong. With that fervent thought, she reread the letter once more.

Surely it must not be. . .

Yet the handwriting on the paper clearly indicated that it had been penned by Siddharth, even though the handwriting itself was not steady.

How could he do this to me? her heart whimpered.

She had been a blushing bride ten days ago, and the dark red of the peacock in her mehendi still revealed the freshness of her marriage. Droplets of tears brushed the paper. She should have suspected it, yet she had not . . . was the gala and the gaiety of the wedding just a mockery with no meaning? With all her emotional strength, she read the letter a third time as she was not able to digest the fact that Siddharth was in love with someone else . . . Mishti Hegde, to be precise.

My dear Ma, the letter began. Shanaya continued reading with a pounding heart.

"I know that this might come as a surprise, but I don’t want to live anymore. Don’t cry for me, because I do not deserve your tears of love. I always wanted to be a fighter, Ma . . . but somewhere along the way I seem to have lost myself, and finding myself again seems impossible. Because life appears meaningless without Mishti Hegde. I cry with all my heart when I write her name. Yet there was a time when I wanted to live my life to the fullest, enjoy each slice it offered, and most of all, share everything with her. Yes, Ma . . . I met Mishti two years ago at our office.

I normally don’t do the interviews, but fate had other plans for me. I was destined to meet her. She was one of the interns I recruited. As a part of our improvement strategy to arrest our plummeting sales, I decided to handle the recruitment myself and explore fresh talent from the market. I met her in my cabin for the first time when she came for her interview. Vibrant and vivacious, she was exactly my opposite. She was dressed brightly in a yellow kurta and salwar, and I was wearing black that day. It feels as though everything happened only yesterday . . . but I felt the instant connection even then. We interacted frequently after she joined and came to share a wonderful rapport. Her angelic looks, combined with her sharp brain, pulled me towards her. She enhanced my boring life with her lively chit-chat. She was beautiful and I believed that she was the one I was searching for.

With her magnetic eyes, she enchanted me, and I went wild over her smile. I felt energised and fervently looked forward to a glimpse of her each day. Her looks hypnotised me. But it was not just a physical attraction, for I believed that in her, I had found my other half . . . my partner with whom I could spend the rest of my life.

Together, we came up with lots of productive ideas and worked like mad. That is when the sales surged and we gained what we had lost earlier. Unsure of her feelings, I proposed to her, but she was honest, Ma. She told me outright that she loved me but warned me that things might not work out for us. Her parents were highly orthodox and they would never agree to our love. Arrogantly, I ignored what she said. I thought I could manage everything. When I think about it now, I am amazed at my confidence. I thought, what father in his right mind would say no to the future CEO of India-Bliss when he asks for his daughter’s hand in marriage? Foreseeing a wonderful life with Mishti as my wife, I held hands with her. We kissed and became inseparable for two long and happiest years of my life. I showed her all the places in and around Bangalore. Like a kid, she followed me with a pulsating smile, and that gave me an urge to protect her and always keep her happy. I wanted to pamper her and put her under my umbrella of security.

Secure in our love, I thought that whatever issues arose in the future, we would kill the demons together. When fate presented her to me, I was ecstatic, but I never knew that it could snatch her away from me as well. And when that happened, I was devastated. Like most lovers in India, it was caste that parted us. Her father did not believe in marrying into another caste. His thoughts were archaic, but Mishti accepted that. I don’t blame her, Ma. She chose her father over me, and perhaps that was the right thing to do. I could see everything happening in front of my eyes, but I was powerless to stop it. I did not want to hurt her. She did not want me to get upset, but she respected her father and broke up with me. Her decision killed our relationship, but then her responsibility towards her elders was what attracted me to her in the first place. So, I can’t really blame her attitude and generosity. Things moved fast, and she is now married to an NRI and is settled in London. She is miles away from me, Ma . . . and I don’t even have the right to think about her. How can I think about someone else’s wife? You did not raise me that way. I have my ethics, and I try to halt my uncontrollable thoughts about her, but it kills me. It brutally rips my heart apart, Ma. I thought I was strong, but this has broken me into pieces. I am shattered, and everything now looks gloomy to me. Life holds no meaning without her by my side. One more day of survival seems tough. She has taken all the colour back with her and left me with nothing. I have failed the test of life. How can I face you again?

No matter how much time passes, it can never heal this festering wound in my soul, which is growing exponentially. Why did I meet her if I am not destined to live with her? When I turn around, I see her everywhere. She floats beneath my eyelids even when I am asleep. So, how do my friends expect me to forget her and move on? It is quite impossible, and even if I do move on, it would be a dishonour to her and the memories we shared. I promised her that I could never love any one the way I loved her. All I see is an empty tunnel ahead, with blackness engulfing me. I have already messed up everything. I can’t live with her memories taunting me, tantalising me, and shredding my soul into pieces. I am the unluckiest person in this world to have missed her. The future I had envisaged with her has disappeared