Clean + Dirty Drinking: 100+ Recipes for Making Delicious Elixirs, With or Without Booze

INTRODUCTION

To drink or not to drink? That is the question!

Is it nobler to treat your body like a temple, imbibing only that which makes you stronger? Or to live fast, die young, and leave a legend of debauchery on the journey to meet your maker? I’ve walked both paths and, along the way, I found my balance. Too much of anything and you’ll find yourself in trouble; as Buddhist teachings tell us, we will find peace in the middle ground.

A PLEASURE TO TASTE

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not a born-again bartender, and I’m not going to spout Vedic scripture or suggest a week of standing on your head to negate the weekend’s indulgent practices. As a trip through this book will show you, I believe that feeding both your body and your soul doesn’t have to be as unfulfilling as that plate of alfalfa sprouts and mashed yeast that Woody Allen turned his nose up at in Annie Hall. My philosophy is this: If a drink is going to pass your lips, even if the emphasis is on its health claims, it should be a pleasure to taste. And if, on the contrary, it’s a boozy bev, it could and should be beneficial in some way—after all, most spirits were invented for medicinal purposes, even while they came with the (often addictive) side effect of making imbibers feel high.

I came to bartending in 1986. Back then, I had champagne taste on a tap water budget, but as a lover of fashion and a student of the rag trade, I felt it was my duty to be decked out in what my peers and I considered the best. Bartending filled my pockets with just enough money to keep my closet full of vintage cool and my lips painted with Chanel lipstick. Bartending was a job; it was never supposed to be a lifelong commitment. And yet, somehow, over time, it got into my blood.

That said, from my longtime position behind the bar I’ve had the opportunity to watch some badass chefs in their element and soak up some of their tricks. When I step up to that slab of wood, my shy, oddball, inner kid transforms into a Martini-stirring diva with confidence for days. Although some of my 9-to-5-er friends criticize me for not having a real job, bartending has given me a flexible lifestyle: I can pack up and come and go as I please, and meet someone new every single day. And it’s a creative outlet as well, feeding my artistic hunger to constantly reinvent—if not myself, then at least what is in the glass before me. It’s also the reason I get to write this book!

A CONNECTION TO THE EARTH

I come from a family of culinary tinkerers, inventors-by-necessity, and experimentation artists. My Pops Iggy was a musician and the master of both the Newkie Brown hot toddy (a blend of Newcastle Brown Ale warmed and blended with honey and, sometimes, garlic) and the perfect cup of tea. My mum and my aunts Janine and Judy were always on a mission to one-up each other with the lightest pastry recipe. Gramps was a gifted gardener: I swear, if he planted a toenail, he could grow a human. My witch-doctor Gran could banish demons from your head with a spirit-wrapped tea towel and a fireside chant, and she also taught me the discipline of working with needles: embroidery, crochet, and invisible hems. She drilled into my head at an early age the folkloric maxim, If you don’t have good thoughts in your mind, what you have in your hand will come to no good. And she was right!

My unorthodox family, a clan of foreign outsiders in suburban England, was very Catholic, but at the same time paganish, you could say, in our connection to the earth we stood on and the seasons that governed our diet. My summers were spent digging for earthworms or lounging under sunflowers eating a bucketful of bush blackberries. Seasonality was not a choice; it was how my grandparents ate. And, so in turn, seasonality inspires my drinks: each is an ode to the time of year or a fresh ingredient at its growing peak.

Another big influence on my cocktail styling is that from my home-growing roots to my DIY adulthood, I never had much of a budget for luxuries, such as pricey mixers and other extras. So, as a bartender, and out of necessity, I adapted my recipes to whatever ingredients I could forage: fresh seasonal fruits and vegetables and herbs, or year-round oils, vinegars, teas, and dried herbs and spices. This practice earned me the moniker the Pantry Raider at Ink restaurant, where I worked for a spell for genius chef Michael Voltaggio.

MODERN BARTENDING

But I’m getting ahead of myself. As I waded into the world of watering holes, I picked up some training while working in London for Terence Conran, where my first mixed drink was a white wine spritzer requested by R&B goddess Sade. Later, in New York, an Earl Grey Tea Sour whipped up by Audrey Saunders of Pegu Club changed my life forever. The perfection of this drink sang to me—and my brain worked overtime to figure out how it was made. Around the same time, I was introduced to two exceptionally skilled bartenders well versed in pre-Prohibition-style cocktail making. I had simply never tasted drinks so good, and I owe my fledgling cocktail education to them—thanks, Audrey, for providing that initial spark, and Lynnette and Jim for filling in the numerous gaps!

A few years later, after several hundred incredibly hazy nights and several hundred more beautifully made cocktails, I found myself relocating to Los Angeles for a reset. L.A.—the land of eternal sunshine, where the abundance of the seasonal harvest made me feel like the proverbial kid in the candy store. This was produce like I’d never seen before, piled high in farmers’ market stalls: fragrant Thai basil blossoms begging to be sniffed; fat, bulging Japanese tomatoes; melt-in-your-mouth Seascape strawberries winking bright red and tasting like Mother Nature had intended. I felt like it was my ordained duty to celebrate this phenomenal edible bounty.

Modern bartending is so much more than just throwing ice in a shaker, pouring in some booze, waving the shaker about, and tossing it all into a glass with a radioactive cherry. Some of my colleagues could rightly be called chefs due to their commitment to craft, attention to detail, and perfectionism. A good bartender spends hours prepping for service before the doors open. We make fresh juice, prepare syrups and infusions, carve ice, and cut or fine-tune garnishes, as well as polish glasses, stock wines, beers, and spirits, and tidy up from the night before. Let’s say service lasts five hours, or as much as seven or eight; then another hour or two are dedicated to cleaning up and breaking down. All told, it’s a time-consuming and arduous job . . . but addictive. For me, each drink is an opportunity to make a better version than the last. I love the adrenaline rush, the fast pace, working as part of a team, and connecting with my guests, many of whom have, over the years, become my friends. My other cherished friends are my tools; we work as a team and without them I would be nothing.

MY BOOK: YOUR CREATIVITY

Chapter One of this book presents the vital information you need to understand, or reconsider, all the steps to creating a delightful beverage, beginning with the basics—the tools, your mise. From there I move through the mechanics of foundational techniques, such as measuring and stirring, but including things like how to make a simple (or complex) syrup, which ice to use and when, and how—and how many times—to shake a drink.

Chapter Two explores the wide vista of all the wonderful things you could (and should) choose—forage—for making an exceptional drink, from syrup and juices to usual and unusual items from the market and the pantry selected based on a philosophy of using fresh and potent (in terms of flavor or health benefits—or both) ingredients, from freshly squeezed citrus juice to modern foams, all with a cherry on top—or rather, a lovely updated garnish, such as a Parmesan Frico (page 137).

Chapter Three contains the recipes, organized by season. Every drink has a booze-free (Clean) and a liquor-laced (Dirty) version. Clean drinks are any cocktails that are nonalcoholic and that, for the most part, do not contain processed sweeteners, using instead more beneficial sweeteners, such as raw honey, maple syrup, or coconut nectar—all of which contain an abundance of amino acids beneficial to our bodies.

I created a Clean and Dirty version of each drink for a couple of reasons. I no longer enjoy that hung-over feeling from too much sugar or alcohol, and my ability to function and recover after drinking sugary or boozy cocktails has diminished exponentially as I’ve gotten older. I didn’t want to be that boring old fart drinking soda water but, rather, preferred to join the festivities with tasty, fun drinks. (I don’t think I’m alone here.)

It’s up to you, the drink maker—and the drink drinker—to decide which version you prefer on any given day. Get creative. Yes, this is my book and these are my guidelines, but I’m writing it for you to pick up, devour, color outside the lines, and create your own combinations. The possibilities are unlimited.

To your health!

CHAPTER ONE:

MISE

My journey as a bartender began in a pub with the most basic information: recipe + presentation, or the Knowledge, as we liked to call it. I wasn’t making anything more complicated than a Martini or an Old-Fashioned, but the details mattered, nonetheless, when endeavoring to make a good drink and get customers to come back for more. Without the correct measurements, the drink would be too weak or too strong; without knowing whether to shake or stir, the ingredients would not be properly combined; without a clean presentation, you would be serving a drink with no sex appeal. The chef I am working with as I write, Brendan Collins, a fellow Brit, likes to say, Make it sexy—regardless of whether he’s talking about executing delivery of a cocktail, cleaning up a spill on a plate, or tidying the worktable. Taking his cue, when I talk about making it sexy, I mean making a drink so beautiful that heads turn in a room.

Making the perfect drink requires learning everything from how to whip the fluffiest aquafaba (or egg white) to which basic shaking motion works for your style of drink. Much of my job is not glamorous—encumbered with tedious tasks like seeding lemons or clearing a clogged drain—but these moments keep it real and also keep it transcendent, giving me time to think and conjure my next libation.

Mise en place, or mise, is a French term that translates to putting in place or everything in its place. And, in this case, I use it specifically to refer to putting in place your basic wares, tools, ingredients, and accoutrements—the things that suit you and your creations and that will help you build a better cocktail—the things you need and want at the ready in your creative space. So, let’s dive into the basics to establish our foundation before moving forward into all levels of the cocktail arts.

TOOLS

Just like all cooks and chefs, a bartender or drink maker should start with a clean, organized workspace equipped with efficient tools of the trade. A roomy countertop and access to a sink come first and foremost. And while many techniques can be improvised, there is nothing more crucial—and pleasurable—for producing the results you want than a good-quality, reliable tool designed for the task at hand. See page 124 for a separate rundown on tools especially useful for creating garnishes.

BASIC YET HARDWORKING TOOLS

Most bartenders have their favorite tools and will tote their tool roll to every job. That kit usually contains some or all of the following: measuring spoons and long-handled bar spoons, jiggers, paring knives, peelers, muddlers, reamers, strainers, and shaker tins. These trusted helpers make our jobs easier and make us more efficient. My personal collection also includes a well-sharpened chef’s knife (and a portable knife sharpener to keep it that way), kitchen scissors, a lighter for flaming citrus peels, small tongs for handling garnishes, an iSi whip and chargers, an immersion circulator for sous vide preparations (see page 67), resealable plastic bags, and a digital scale.

The following list includes some of my favorite basic yet hardworking tools plus a specialty item or two. Some are for your kit, some are less portable. It can get you started and help you adapt as your skills and interests grow. You may not (yet! . . . I can’t live without mine) see the need for an immersion circulator, for example—although if you love the idea of a quick route to homemade bitters, you may come around to it—but you might love strainers of every kind, from standing to handheld in every degree of mesh to full-on decorative showpieces, and want to collect them all. It’s a personal thing. In addition, of course, you will need a few cutting boards, large and small sharp knives, and a constant supply of clean kitchen towels.

BLENDER

Regular models serve nobly for many functions in the blending realm, but for the power and versatility needed for more ambitious projects, investing in a heavy-duty blender opens a lot of doors.

USED FOR blending, grinding, puréeing

I LOVE Vitamix Vita-Prep

CARBONATOR

Contains a chamber for liquids and a lid with a carbonation system either built in or attached; CO2 is pumped through the lid into the chamber to change still liquids into sparkling ones.

USED FOR making fizzy cocktails and soft drinks

I LOVE Perlini Carbonated Cocktail System

CHINOIS STRAINER

Deep, conical strainers with more surface area than the usual bowl-shaped sieves and extra-fine mesh for rendering liquid mixtures super silky and smooth; some come with stands so you can let them filter slowly and/or wooden pestles to help you push the mixture through.

USED FOR straining infusions, juices, etc.

I LOVE Matfer Exoglass bouillon strainer

COCKTAIL SHAKER (OR SHAKER TIN)—A.K.A. THE BOSTON SHAKER

Two stainless steel cups or tins—a small and a large one—that cocktails are built and shaken in.

USED FOR shaking drinks

I LOVE Koriko weighted tin set

COCKTAIL STRAINERS

Small stainless steel specialty strainers designed to fit on top of a shaker tin or mixing glass to strain out ice as well as things such as muddled herbs and fruits when you decant the liquid into the serving glass. There is a range—some have holes that intentionally let through bits of fruit or little shards of ice, others are meant to deliver a pristine elixir. Standards include Hawthorne, Julep, and other simple versions, such as small, fine-mesh conical styles.

The Hawthorne strainer is a stainless steel paddle-type shape with tightly wound coils attached to it. The coils trap errant particles such as leaves or ice shards. The Julep strainer is akin to a slotted spoon only with a shorter handle and is used to strain stirred cocktails. The holes allow the liquid to pass through whilst the spoon shape catches the ice. The CoCo strainer is a smaller version of the mesh chinois cap strainer used in the kitchen, also similar to a tea strainer. It has a small cone of fine stainless steel wire mesh attached to a handle. It is used in conjunction with a Hawthorne strainer to finely strain or double strain a cocktail.

USED FOR straining drinks

I LOVE Koriko Hawthorne, Cocktail Kingdom Julep, Cocktail Kingdom CoCo

IMMERSION BLENDER

Two-part blending gadget with a motor set into a handle connected to the blades at the other end; insert it into pitchers and pots of mixes to blend, purée, or make foams.

USED FOR blending or frothing liquids

I LOVE Cuisinart Smart Stick

IMMERSION CIRCULATOR

Long box-like contraption that encases a heating coil, a motor, and temperature controls; insert it into water baths to heat the water and keep it a consistent temperature.

USED FOR rapid infusing, barrel aging, sous vide preparation

I LOVE PolyScience Creative series

JIGGERS

Small stainless steel measuring cups with notches marked inside to denote various liquid amounts. Standard sizes include ¹/2 fl oz, ³/4 fl oz, 1 fl oz, and 1¹/2 fl oz [15 ml, 22 ml, 30 ml, and 45 ml].

USED FOR precisely measuring small amounts of liquid

I LOVE Leopold vintage reproductions, Japanese style (solid, steeper-angled walls, multiple measures etched inside), or the simple Danesco multilevel jigger

JUICER (CITRUS)

A reamer with a spout on top of a spinning motor.

USED FOR juicing citrus and pomegranates

I LOVE Waring Pro

JUICER (VEGETABLE)

A mechanical screw-like press attached to a slowly turning motor that pulverizes veggies and fruits. Because there is no rapidly spinning blade, there is no kinetic friction or heat buildup to destroy essential vitamins in the produce.

USED FOR juicing all manner of fruits and veggies

I LOVE SKG wide chute model

MANDOLINE

Handheld slicer with a variety of interchangeable blades set into a plank of wood, plastic, or stainless steel.

USED FOR creating very thin, uniform slices of fruits and vegetables

I LOVE Japanese-style Benriner

MICROPLANE

Related methinks to a woodworker’s rasp (a coarse metal tool with ridges used for filing wood or, sometimes, metal); the Mircroplane has a metal shaft with mini grater blades that, when rubbed against citrus or nutmeg, for instance, shaves off small pieces.

USED FOR mostly garnishing and finishing drinks such as egg nog, whipped