Guilty Feeling

Introduction

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Until you can say no, your yes is meaningless... (Osho)

The feeling of guilt is a complex and self-reflective emotion that alerts us that something is wrong in our behavior. Guilt can be conscious or unconscious, and in both cases, it derives from the conflict between the superego (moral values) and infantile sexual and aggressive desires (the most primitive), a conflict that is an internalized representation and a perpetuation of the conflicts between the child and his parents.

Guilt can manifest itself in a variety of ways, and symptoms can vary from person to person. For some, the feeling of guilt is a vague but continuous sensation: they feel inadequate, and they are at fault, although they do not know why; They feel intimidated, insecure, and scared and end up alone within the walls of the house or with very few and select people. For others, however, guilt manifests itself in more explicit ways, and they are the ones who exaggerate, become inflamed, and feel attacked for nothing, roaring like beasts and then, a moment later, regret it, feel disgusting, and wonder what they will think. others, try to take refuge or worse yet provoke devious attempts to maintain the point that they know is wrong.

In psychology, guilt is worked through cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT focuses on identifying the negative thoughts and irrational beliefs that underlie guilt and replacing them with more realistic and positive thoughts. CBT can also help people develop skills to manage anxiety and stress, which can reduce the intensity of guilt.

Determining how guilt is formed, what the negative consequences are, and how these situations can be dealt with is the purpose of this book, which can help those who suffer from it exaggeratedly, mitigate it, and achieve a full life without so many regrets.

Chapter 1

What is guilt?

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Guilt is a pervasive emotion that, if not resolved, can damage a person's psychological and spiritual development. Classical guilt is defined as self-reproach for things done or not done, and feelings of deserving punishment. Guilt is generated by the conflict between the idea of how a person should act and how he or she acts. Guilt can be real or imagined. Blame may not be limited to a specific action or event, but may be vague and indefinite.

Guilt almost always has a strong social context. Historical, religious, and ideological customs constantly change and influence the culturally transmitted experience of guilt. However, guilt is not a universal feeling: what makes one person feel guilty may not make another feel the same way at all.

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What is guilt in psychology?

Psychology has studied guilt a lot. Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) believed that we feel guilty when there is a gap between our moral conscience (Super Ego) and our innate desires and impulses (Unconscious). He believed that neurotic guilt is the main factor in all psychological problems. In his opinion, the feeling of guilt is always negative and is experienced as an internal conflict, one of whose main objectives is self-punishment. Motivated by feelings of guilt, we act in ways that prevent us from doing certain things we consider wrong (lying) and force us to do things we consider right."

Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) wrote about the feeling of guilt as a fundamental mechanism for regulating behavior within the framework of accepted moral and ethical standards. At the same time, Jung described the possibility of good guilt when a person, being bad at the moment, chooses to free themselves from oppressive rules and new decisions that lead to their personal growth. For example, the decision to leave a failed marriage, the refusal to follow the rules of totalitarian societies that force you to remain committed no matter what the cost.

However, as research progressed, psychologists began to define guilt in other ways. Helen Block Lewis (1913-1987) wrote a landmark book, Shame and Guilt in Neurosis (1971), which argued that guilt can have positive consequences, in contrast to guilt-related shame. Her research promoted the idea that rather than motivating the desire to hide (as in the case of shame), guilt typically motivates reparative behavior: confessing, apologizing, or otherwise making amends for the harm caused.

From a psychosynthetic perspective, anger and guilt arise from unmet expectations toward others and oneself. A victim of a violent crime, for example, may expect that she should have avoided the situation or behaved differently to avoid the abuse or attack. Anger toward the aggressor turns into anger toward oneself and leads to intense guilt.

This guilt becomes a complex issue when a person recovers from a traumatic event. And it is possible to free yourself from it only by freeing yourself from unrealistic expectations, both about yourself and others. In many cases, such expectations are associated with traumatized parts of the personality or subpersonalities.

Existentialists see