Questions for Couples: The Right Way - Bundle - The Only 2 Books You Need to Master Relationship Questions, Couples Communication and Questions to Ask Before Marriage Today

Introduction

I want to thank you and congratulate you for purchasing the book, How to Ask Questions: The Right Way

This book contains proven steps and strategies on how to develop effective communication skills so that you can ask effective questions that will provide you with the important information which you are seeking. Asking questions is a form of communication that anyone can do, even toddlers seem to be able to ask questions nonstop! However, asking questions thoughtfully and respectfully can take some practice. The sole guide of this book is to provide you with the information and tips necessary for you to become a master at effectively asking intelligent questions.

Sometimes the way in which we ask questions can actually be counterproductive to our information goals. Think of the last time that you asked another individual a question, and they provided you with information that was either slightly or completely off topic. These kinds of misunderstandings often happen in conversations where someone is seeking specific information or asking multiple questions, and these misunderstandings can be very time consuming and frustrating. This book aims to act as a communication guide so that you can ask questions effectively and try to avoid these misunderstandings all together!

I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 1: Plan Ahead

Asking questions is very beneficial. Not only it can satisfy our curiosity and give us more knowledge, but it can also help us start a meaningful discussion with someone. To start a conversation, a simple hello or handshake is good. But some find it very old-school. Many find asking simple questions to be an effective way of starting a good talk. However, many people do not have the strength to do so probably because they do not have the courage to, or because they do not know where to start. Thus, resulting to poor communication.

One of the main things that contribute to poor communication is an individual’s inability to prepare properly. When you find that you need to have a serious or lengthy conversation with someone else, it is important that you first adequately prepare for the conversation that will take place. If you go up to the other individual to ask them questions without being prepared, you will likely not get the answers that you need, and you may be left with more questions than you had before. In planning for a conversation with another individual, be sure to plan which questions you need to ask. Below we have listed several tips that can help you plan for your upcoming conversation.

List

Creating a list is a great way to determine what questions you would like to ask during the upcoming conversation. How many times have you asked another individual a question, only to find that you were left with new questions that you had not previously considered when the conversation was over? Of course, it is impossible to know all questions about a conversation ahead of time, but creating a list can help you consider the bulk of possible questions to ask.  By creating a list of possible questions to ask, you may also find that you already know some of the answers. Sometimes we simply need to think out loud to realize that we know more about a given topic than we had originally thought. When creating a list of questions which you intend to ask to make sure that you rank them by importance. On your question outline, it is also a good idea to keep follow up questions positioned directly beneath the questions which they need to follow so that you do not forget to ask these questions during your conversation. Once you have completed a full list of possible questions (and their follow up questions), you will be able to determine which questions are most important and place them higher up on your priority list for the conversation. Creating a list of your questions will also allow you the chance to place them in an order which makes sense so that you do not confuse the other individual, thus avoiding a possible misunderstanding which could be counterproductive to your information goals.

Roleplay

Roleplaying is another great way to prepare yourself for a time when you need to gain information from another individual by asking questions. Begin by asking yourself the first question that you plan to ask the other individual, then determine what the possible responses to this question could be. Based on these responses, think of what follow up questions you may want to ask to continue collecting necessary information. Continue this pattern until you are sure that you have been able to think of the majority of questions that you could need to ask in your upcoming conversation. When roleplaying possible questions and answers, be sure to take into account the other individuals emotions. Emotions can largely affect the type of information that you are given in response to your questions, especially if the topic is the least bit controversial or relies on the other person reflecting on past experiences to answer your questions. Roleplaying gives you the chance to think of questions ahead of time-based on possible responses to your previous questions so that you can be sure the conversation ends only after you have gathered all of the pertinent information.

Determine Goals

A great way to prepare for a conversation with another individual in which you will need to ask them multiple questions is to create an outline of your information goals. Try to decide well ahead of time what your goal for the conversation is. What questions do you need to ask? What specific information do you need to obtain? Are there any follow-up questions to your original questions that you may want to consider ahead of time? And lastly, do you have the necessary information to answer any questions that may be asked to you by the individual in question? Determining your information goals ahead of time will greatly help you to become prepared for your upcoming conversation. Appropriate goal setting is a very important practice when it comes to mastering communication skills. If you set unrealistic goals for yourself, you are not very likely to successfully achieve them. If you do not successfully achieve your goals, you will likely feel disappointed in your failure and as a result feel a greater temptation to quit working towards your goals. Joe Friel (former coach of Olympic triathlon athlete Ryan Bolton) validates the importance of appropriate goal setting in making that success a reality with his quote A dream becomes a goal when you create a plan, and a reality only when you fully commit to it. As stated in Friel’s quote, there are multiple steps involved in successfully achieving any goal. To successfully achieve a goal, you must first create a specific goal, create a plan of how you plan to achieve that goal, and commit the time and effort required to make that goal a reality.

When setting goals for yourself, it is important to make sure that your goals are specific. General goals are more difficult to obtain. Consider this as an example: successfully achieving the general goal of I want to be better at talking to people is a lot harder to achieve than the specific goal of I want to have four meaningful conversations with people this month. A general goal leaves