Phoenix Strategies - Intelligence On How To Recover From Past Hurts

Introduction

The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.

Thomas S. Monson

Regardless of how beautiful or ugly your past is, you cannot afford to base your present or future on it. If you have a beautiful past, do not let it get into your head because it might prompt you to make mistakes that will make your future full of sadness. On the other hand, if you had a terrible past, regardless of how horrible it was, the best thing you can do for yourself is to let it go.

It is impossible to enjoy all the wonderful experiences the future offers you unless you are willing to let go of the past. This book is dedicated to everyone struggling with one hurt because of the traumatic events they have experienced. I hope you find healing through your interaction with this material.

Chapter One:

Why Does It Still Hurt?

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."

Albert Einstein

One of the shocking things about grief is that it comes back out of nowhere sometimes, just when you thought you had overcome the hurt. The truth is that past hurts do not disappear overnight. You need to accept this reality in your journey towards healing.

Possible Reasons You Still Hurt

Some overzealous people may tell you to let go of the hurt, as though the pain does not exist. Indeed, they have good intentions but the approach is wrong. You cannot experience complete healing from a traumatic experience, immediately after it happens. However, it is a problem when the pain lingers for a long time. Below are some of the plausible reasons you still hurt several months following a traumatic event:

You Are Living In Denial

One of the reasons people struggle to recover from traumatic events is that they are living in denial. This is usually the case with divorce or a painful heartbreak. This is the first diagnostic test to consider when you find it difficult to let go of a burden from the past. It hurts, especially when you are somehow hoping that the person will realize his or her mistake and come back to you. According to statistics by DivorceMag.com, up to 50% of people who got divorced regretted their decision.

The stats may give you hope but the fact that they regretted the decision does not mean they are willing to go back to their previous partners. So, the chances are great that your ex will never return to you. One of the attributes of love is allowing people to do what is best for them. If your ex feels that there is someone else out there that will make him or her happy, you should love him or her enough to allow them to do what is best for them. For the sake of your mental health, do not expect the people who left you to come back.

You Have Not Processed The Event

Processing a traumatic event is not the easiest of tasks but you have to do it to move on. Were you sacked or did you lose a loved one? Did the love of your life walk away from you at the point you needed him or her the most? Were you raped or abused by someone so dear to you? These are a few examples