First Phone: A Child's Guide to Digital Responsibility, Safety, and Etiquette

Introduction

CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING A VERY EXCITING NEW SMARTPHONE. You are now the owner of one of the most powerful digital devices on earth. Woo-hoo!

Smartphones are minicomputers that can do just about anything a big computer can do but, in some ways, even more. Phones can fit in your pocket, making them handy. On your smartphone you can order a skateboard; video chat with family members around the world; log in to your classroom; play games; read a book; listen to music; learn how to make lasagna; take, edit, and share pictures.

Because smartphones are so powerful, they are also expensive. Keeping your phone safe and not losing it will be important.

Also, sometimes kids aren’t prepared for all the responsibility that comes with the incredible power of a smartphone. That’s why I wrote this book. I want to help you learn the ways to have fun using your digital device—but also how to stay safe.

Most kids know they want a phone, often because their friends and siblings have one. But once they get one, they can become overwhelmed with decisions, social situations, and setting appropriate limits. There are lots of lessons to learn to ensure safety for you and your friends. Some common questions that come up for kids when they receive their first phone are:

What do I do if a new online friend I don’t know asks for my address or personal information, like my birthday?

Where should I keep my phone at night?

What’s safe to post online, and what should be avoided?

When is the right time to join social media like TikTok and Instagram?

What do I do if someone sends me an inappropriate picture or tries to bully me online?

What do I do if I make a mistake?

In this book I will answer these questions and many more. Because I’m a grown-up, I have some young friends who will help with keeping it real. Throughout the pages that follow, they will share their experiences—the good ones, the bad ones, and the really embarrassing ones, too. That way, you can learn from what they’ve gone through.

Now, let me introduce you to . . . Sofia, Maya Jack, Benni, and Max!

"Hi. My name is Sofia. I’m nine years old, and I love anything with rainbows, unicorns, or sparkles. I like to bake, do art projects, and play with my dog, Rocko. I like math class because I’m good with numbers. But I really dislike reading because it’s so hard for me. That’s because I have a learning difference called dyslexia. My parents gave me a phone to help me keep in touch with my family who live across the country. I listen to a lot of audio books to help me read, and I like to have my phone in my pocket, too, if I walk to my friend Leah’s house around the corner."

"My name is Max. I’m twelve years old, and I like to play Mario Kart and watch videos on TikTok. I use my phone a lot, but one important way is to control my diabetes. That’s a disease that requires me to monitor my blood sugar. My phone alerts me when I need to adjust my medicine. It’s kind of a lifesaver."

My name is Jack. I enjoy playing video games and basketball, building robots, and trying new and exotic foods. My mom is in the military, so sometimes she works in another country. She gave me a phone to help us keep in touch. I’m eleven, but I got my phone when I was ten.

My name is Benni, and I’m thirteen years old. My parents call me a social butterfly because I am friendly to everyone. I like to dance, sing, act, sew, and dress up. I was born a boy, but I dress like a girl. I often use my smartphone to contact my mom to pick me up after ballet. Mostly, I’m texting my friends. I love to stay in touch when we aren’t at school.

I’m Maya. I’m really into art, so I watch how-to videos on YouTube a lot. I also love American Girl and reading. I read just about anything I can find. My parents are divorced, which means they don’t live together. They bought me a phone so it would be easy for me to contact the other parent when I’m not at their house. Oh, and I just turned twelve.

You may have heard grown-ups discussing the good and bad of smartphones for kids. There certainly are some concerns and dangers. Don’t worry, we are going to go through all of that in this book. By the time you finish First Phone, you will know how to stay protected and make good decisions online. But first, let’s focus on some of the fun stuff to do with your new smartphone.

Here are a few of our favorite ways to use a phone:

Communication

Texting (BENNI: That’s my favorite thing.)

Email—send notes to your teacher or coach

Video calls to family far away (SOFIA: I call my cousins on Sundays, and we talk for hours; also my grandpa does a video Spanish lesson every week.)

Learning

School apps like Canvas, Notability, and Quizlet (digital flash cards)

Khan Academy for math tutoring (BENNI: "I use Khan Academy whenever I don’t understand something or when I want extra