A Lap of Australia for Beginners

This section of the book addresses all the logistics of going on such a long road trip as a lap of Australia. It is a complicated process when it is your first time. We really did not know what we were doing. We were absolute beginners. It can be discouraging and easy to give up. Abandoning the dream was never an option, but we came close to it a few times. We looked at many videos of van life influencers. I read many ‘Lap of Australia’ blogs on the internet and borrowed books from the library. In the end, instinct kicked in and we found our way out of the maze of preparation and on to the wide-open road. Phew and hallelujah!

CHAPTER 1

Whose idea was it anyway?

MY HUSBAND CHRIS AND I both had the idea to travel far and wide. But it did not just happen as a lightbulb moment. Many factors led to the decision to rent out our house for one year and take off into the wilderness. Chris had had a few health scares and COVID-19 brought on his sudden retirement. He was an academic and overseas students stopped coming to Australian universities. Consequently, there was a huge reduction in teaching staff.

My career as an occupational therapist also came to an abrupt and painful stop in 2021 due to workplace bullying. Suddenly I was retired at 60, 10 years earlier than planned. These changes had us rethinking our priorities, like so many during COVID-19, and asking ourselves, ‘What is life all about?’

Then Russia invaded Ukraine. Everything seemed so uncertain worldwide. It all looked like doom and gloom. We needed cheering up! We concluded that we should enjoy our golden years while we could, and that would mean only one thing: travel.

We are both seasoned travellers. Chris has been riding motorcycles for 50 years and loves to go bush camping. Each of us has done plenty of international trips. I went around the world 3 times when buying a round-the-world fare was cheaper than a return trip to Montreal!

We were still in the throes of COVID travel restrictions even though they were loosening. So, it was obvious that the best thing to do was the ‘lap of Australia’ like so many grey nomads. But how do you start preparing for such an event?

I joined a few Facebook groups such as Nomads of Australia, Travel Australia with Dogs and such. I gathered a lot of information about places to look at, tricks and tips about van life, and all the different vehicles available. (The next chapter will deal with the type of rig we decided on.)

But who to rent our Brisbane home to? When we looked at the cost to store all our belongings–and the inconvenience of packing up a 4-bedroom house–we decided to rent the house fully furnished. We offered a mate’s rate to our lovely friends Doug and Jan who had done house sitting for us in the past. We knew we could trust them. They paid reduced rent and we got good tenants. We also only had to pack up our personal belongings and store them in the garage. It was a win/win situation.

We fixed our departure date as the first of June 2022. Since we live in Brisbane, it was logical to travel north towards the tropics in winter when it is not so hot. That date kept being moved due to a variety of unforeseen events. (Chapter 3 will delve further into those.)

Are we crazy to go away for so long and so far?

We planned a party to say goodbye to our friends and relatives. Leaving them all behind was a big thing and not done lightly. Our hearts were torn. But we reassured ourselves that we could easily stay in touch with everyone via modern technology. That was wishful thinking. Meanwhile, the farewell gathering of our nearest and dearest at a Brisbane brewery on a sunny Sunday afternoon was absolutely delightful.

But second thoughts slowly started creeping in. Are we crazy to go away for so long and so far?

We were committed by then. There was no turning back.

TIPS

Join travel Facebook groups for inspiration such as these two:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/NomadsOfAustraliaTheBestBits Travel Australia with Dogs: https://www.facebook.com/groups/496641167356061

CHAPTER 2

What kind of rig do you have?

A BIG DECISION TO MAKE was how we were going to travel and thus where we would sleep. That is called a rig. There are literally thousands of different rigs out there and the choice is mind-boggling, from tents, roof top options, camper trailers, fifth wheel trailers, slide-on trailers, purpose-built go-anywhere trucks, standard motorhomes and converted buses of different sizes. We even saw a converted fire truck! It’s enough to make your head spin when you start looking into it. We visited a few camping and caravanning shows to get ideas.

What I did know was that camping in a tent was out. There was no way I was going to crawl in and out as my knees would never forgive me. Those days are long gone. Another thing we knew for sure is that we did not want to tow anything. We have a multi-purpose small box trailer we use to tow our kayaks, take rubbish to the tip or transport a motorcycle. We did not even want to tow that. We longed to be free to go wherever without too many hassles. That eliminated all the trailers. Chris wanted a big ‘Tonka toy’ such as an Oka or Unimog (military type trucks), which are definitely go-anywhere vehicles, but they were out of our budget. Neither could we afford to buy or run a true 4WD motorhome. We needed a rig that could go places with a good ground clearance.

The wish list was:

•self-contained vehicle with shower and toilet

•north-south island double bed (along the van’s length)

•full-size fridge/freezer

•off grid capacity with a solar system

•proper trunk (not barn doors out the back)

•low kilometres (less than 150,000 kilometres)

•headroom for 6-foot-tall Chris

•air conditioning

•plenty of drinking water/ black and grey water capacity.

After more research, we figured that a converted Toyota Coaster could possibly tick all our boxes. We looked at Facebook Marketplace for a good deal. Most Coasters for sale are Japanese imports that were used as public transport buses until they clocked 100,000 kilometres. Then they get sold overseas. Australians love those 22 seaters buses as they are rugged enough for our harsh terrain. Some companies specialise in importing them and converting them to motorhomes.

We found a 20-year-old golden Coaster in Bundaberg (QLD) and organised a viewing. We made a day trip out of it as it was nearly 400 kilometres away. It was love at first sight. In hindsight, we were naïve and easily impressed. It was the most expensive Coaster for sale at the time. It had a full-service record for the previous four years (since conversion) and a pile of receipts to prove that it had been well cared for. It all amounted to a lot of money, but we figured it was worth it. A pre-purchase inspection by a local mechanic confirmed that it was mechanically sound. So, we proceeded with the purchase.

The next step was us both getting our Light Rigid (LR) driving license since the bus weighs 5.3 tonnes and is 7.2 metres long. Anything weighing over 4.5 tonnes in Queensland requires that the driver has at least an LR licence. We enrolled and passed the 4-hour course within the next two weeks. We then took the train back to Bundaberg to finalise the sale and take possession of our new home on wheels. We stayed at the local caravan park as it was too late to get on the road at that stage.

A massive thunderstorm hit the region that night. We were relieved to find out that the bus did not leak, and we fell asleep feeling tired but happy. During the night, the wind picked up dramatically and howling sounds all around us kept me awake. Chris is a heavy sleeper. I heard a regular loud clap and thought that a panel on a roof nearby had come loose. However, in the morning light, everything became clear when the sunlight shone through the front of the bus. The loud clapping sound had been our side door banging in the wind. It had not been latched properly and it was wide open. Our poor neighbours must have cursed us! The floor was flooded as the rain had poured in. It was terribly embarrassing to discover our pathetic door locking attempt. It was the first of many mistakes to follow. But some events were to be totally out of our control and nothing to do with our ignorance.

We set off towards home, seriously driving the bus for the first time on highways. It was going relatively well until we smelled smoke. Then the fire alarm went off. We turned in our seats to find the cabin filled with smoke. We had a fire onboard!

Here we were, in less than 24 hours of ownership, with a flood and a fire.

Stopping on the side of the highway in an unsafe spot, we got out super-fast. Once it was established the bus was not going to explode, we went back in to open all the windows and doors and tried to locate the origin of the fire. There were no flames to be seen. Eventually, our noses led us to a small section near floor level where the burnt smell was coming from. We unscrewed the panel to reveal a charred 12 volt to 240-volt inverter, an essential part of the solar power system. We let all the smoke escape, waited for everything to cool down and continued homeward. What else is going to go wrong? We were deflated. We had paid so much for the bus and were expecting good value for money. Here we were, in less than 24 hours of ownership, with a flood and a fire.

Not a good start.

After we got home, we got a new inverter installed at significant cost. The first of many sudden expenses to come. Work started on several improvements to personalise our bus. We installed a diesel heater, LED lighting, UHF radio and antenna, new blue curtains, oscillating fans near the bed, shampoo/conditioner dispensers in the shower cubicle, rubbish bin and hanging hooks. We soundproofed the cabin and installed new carpets. Chris engineered a whole new kitchen table that could swivel and be used outdoors as well.

A lot of thought went into picking the right name for the bus. Given its golden colour, the selection was narrowed down to anything with that colour. It was baptised ‘The Golden Goose’ as it seemed an omen of good luck as per the old Grimm Brothers tale. We needed a lot of luck. A specially designed decal sticker was made for the top of the front windscreen. It looked perfect.

We were so ready to go! Nothing would stop us now.

CHAPTER 3

Why is it taking so long to go?

DEPARTURE DATE OR LIFT-OFF WAS planned to be on the first of June 2022. But a series of unfortunate events made that day come and go and we were still at home.

Chris had meant to sneak in a last motorbike trip with his friend before giving up riding for a year–a difficult thing for him to do. But the original dates were twice postponed due to heavy floods all over Queensland and New South Wales. Just when the riders thought they would go, Chris’ friend’s younger brother passed away. This was a sad time understandably, but after the funeral, they finally set off for a 2-week dash to Alice Springs.

In the meantime, I had a disaster at home to swiftly deal with.

I had just bought our 2-year-old border collie Watson his first winter jacket as the forecast was for a cold winter. When I put it on him, he appeared fine with it. But he went running around the house and the next thing I heard was a big crash/bang sound. He had kicked the bottom part of a bay window with his left hind leg and was seriously injured. I rushed him to the veterinary hospital where he was diagnosed with two (out of three) severed Achille’s tendons and needed emergency surgery. The prognosis was promising; he would regain full use of his leg. He had a screw put into his hock (ankle). However, there was a rigid protocol of recovery to be observed. Six weeks of immobilisation with on-lead toilet outings only. Then another 6 weeks of lead-only walks after the screw and the cast were removed.

The timing could not have been worse. We were delayed another week as this happened 5 weeks before departure.

I already mentioned the extensive floods everywhere. Our roof in the garage leaked and the ceiling collapsed, and in the main house the hallway ceiling was leaky. This all had to be attended to before we left, so the tenants would not have to worry about anything after we drove off into the sunset. We were so lucky to find roofers who could fix and repaint the roof and install the ceiling in the garage, with the promise to finish before we left. Could we believe them?

The stress was accumulating. Just when things could not get worse, they got worse. We hadn’t found time to do a proper shakedown trip. I was still working full time. But about two weeks before departure, we managed one overnight excursion an hour away from home. That’s when we woke up to a broken air suspension system!

There we were trying to get a brand-new system installed at great cost when the parts were not all in Brisbane. Our bus went in for repairs and we did not see it again for two weeks.

Meanwhile, the roofers were working feverishly away. Would they finish on time?

We were supposed to leave on a Tuesday after the final check up at the veterinary hospital on the Monday when the screw in Watson’s leg was to be removed. That day, I was wondering why it was taking so long to remove the bandage. Eventually, I learned that they had found an abscess under a toe pad, which had probably contained bits of glass during the last 6 weeks and had become infected. All the attention had been on the ankle and the toes were neglected. Poor Watson. He was put on antibiotics again and we were to go back the next day, Tuesday, for a final checkup. Another delay of 24 hours. My nerves were extremely frayed by then. I even wondered if the Universe was telling us we should not go.

Then, finally, some good news. That day, Monday, the roofer had finished. Our tenants moved in and generously offered that we stay in the guest bedroom for the night. We appreciated their kind gesture enormously.

So off we went, finally, on Wednesday the 14th of July 2022. Big sighs of relief could be heard for a long time.

CHAPTER 4

Did you have mobile reception?

WE LEFT WITH THE SMUG understanding that we could always talk to friends and relatives. We had followed the general advice that it is better to have two mobile phones with different service providers. Chris had Telstra (Australia’s largest mobile network) and I had Optus as a backup. We knew in advance that ‘some’ remote areas have no coverage at all, so we installed a UHF radio system ‘just in case’.

Here is Telstra’s coverage map from their website. We had not looked at that map before we left, believing the publicity that Telstra covers 90 percent of Australia. That actually means Telstra covers 90 percent of Australians who live mostly in coastal areas. Whoops.

Telstra covers 90 percent of Australians, who live mostly in coastal areas.

It is easy to see now the amount of whiteness on this map where there is no mobile phone coverage. It took us less than three weeks to find out that there was often no way to communicate with anyone we knew. We went from a few hours to three days without any reception at all. I’d had better mobile reception in South America 14 years prior.

We learned to live with it with a few choice words thrown into the conversation here and there. We never did use the UHF. We became quite acquainted with the message on our phones ‘No reception, SOS only’. Twice in the whole journey we really cursed at the phones.

The first time was on the 23rd of October 2022. We had spent the night in a free camp near Mullewa (WA). I checked my phone for messages after waking up and turning it off silence mode. There was one from my sister Diane in Montreal. It read: ‘I’m sorry to let you know this way as I tried to call you but dad has passed away’. As I slept, our father had gone to sleep forever. I fell apart even though I had known the end was near. My father had been in hospital for months after a fall at the nursing home and pneumonia complications. I was in regular contact with my siblings. But that day when I tried to reach my sister Diane, the phone kept cutting out. I was devastated and so distressed that I could not speak to any of my four siblings that day. For not being there in my time of need, damn you, Telstra!

The second time I cursed the phones was on the 9th of December 2022. We had breakfast in a beautiful café near Nannup (WA). This was the second time we’d eaten there as the food was so good the first time we visited. We had poached eggs then drove on to a lovely isolated and private rest area in Karri Gully. There was nobody else there, which I will be always grateful for because, after just settling in, it hit us with tremendous force: food poisoning! We were both sick inside and outside the bus. I will save you the visuals, but believe me, it was not a pretty sight.

Chris was more affected than I and was violently ill for some hours. It got so bad; he was losing the will to live. He needed medical attention, but the phone was ‘SOS only’. We had little faith that it would work, but we had nothing to lose and called the emergency number 000. After what seemed like an awfully long time, someone answered from the police department. They said they would send an ambulance to this place in the