A Real Fake Boyfriend

A Real Fake Boyfriend

by Dan Big

Copyright  © 2024 Dan Big

All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Chapter 1: The Boyfriend Problem

I stare at my phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard as I contemplate the most embarrassing text I’m about to send in my entire life. Asking for a fake boyfriend isn't exactly what I had in mind when I imagined my twenties. But here I am, stuck in this ridiculous situation.

How did I get here? Let’s back up a bit.

— So, are you bringing anyone to the wedding? — My mom’s voice echoes in my head from the call earlier. Casual, but loaded with the pressure of a thousand expectations.

I’d stumbled, fumbled over my words, and eventually lied. Of course I have a date! His name is Nathan. Yes, he’s wonderful! You’ll love him.

Problem? There is no Nathan. No boyfriend at all, actually. I’ve been single for two years now, unless you count my brief fling with Netflix and takeout. My family, however, doesn't seem to think it’s possible to survive your twenties without a partner, and my sister’s wedding next month? The perfect opportunity for them to remind me of that. Nonstop.

I take a deep breath and type the text to my best friend, Sophie. S.O.S. I need a fake boyfriend for the wedding.

Her response is immediate: Are you insane?

I stare at the screen. Am I? Maybe. But what else am I supposed to do? Endure the endless interrogation of When are you settling down? or worse, the pitying looks from Aunt Karen? No thanks. Sophie sends another text before I can reply: You could just tell the truth, you know.

I snort. The truth? That I’m still single because I haven’t met anyone who makes me want to give up my freedom? That I’m happier solo than tangled up in someone else’s life? No way. My family would never understand. They’re already convinced I’m some kind of romantic disaster.

Before I can come up with a witty reply to Sophie, the door of my favorite coffee shop swings open. A gust of wind follows in a tall, scruffy guy with a lopsided grin and messy dark hair. I recognize him instantly. He’s the bartender at the pub down the street. Nathan—the Nathan. I only know his name because Sophie drags me to that bar far too often, and he always serves our drinks with a smirk and some sarcastic comment.

And suddenly, inspiration strikes. Maybe Nathan could be my fake boyfriend. He’s charming, good-looking, and clearly doesn’t take life too seriously. Plus, he owes me a favor. Last month, he gave me a free round after spilling a pint all over my new dress. This could be payback.

I grab my coffee and walk up to him as he orders at the counter. My heart is pounding in my chest—either from the adrenaline of my impending proposal or the caffeine overload from my third latte of the day.

— Hey, Nathan, right?

He turns, looking mildly surprised but flashing that signature grin. — Hey, Coffee Girl.

I raise an eyebrow. — Coffee Girl?

— You’re here every day, aren’t you? Always ordering something with too many espresso shots.

I can’t help but smile. — Guilty. Look, I need to ask you for a favor. And before you say no, just hear me out.

His eyebrow quirks, clearly intrigued. — Sounds ominous. Go on.

I shift from one foot to the other, wondering how insane I’m about to sound. — I need a fake boyfriend. For a wedding.

There’s a beat of silence. Then he laughs—a deep, genuine laugh that makes me feel both ridiculous and slightly more confident at the same time.

— You’re serious?

I nod, my cheeks flushing slightly. — Completely. It’s my sister’s wedding, and I, uh, may have told my family that I’m bringing someone.

He leans against the counter, crossing his arms. — So, you’re asking me—someone you barely know—to pretend to be your boyfriend?

— Yes, but it’s not as weird as it sounds. I mean, maybe it is. But you’d be doing me a huge favor. And I can totally pay you back, however you want. — The words tumble out of my mouth faster than I can control them. I sound desperate. Great.

Nathan studies me for a moment, and I suddenly realize how insane this must sound to him. But then, he surprises me.

— Alright. I’m in.

I blink. — Seriously?

He shrugs, that easy grin still plastered on his face. — Why not? It sounds fun. Plus, I’ve got a favor to ask in return.

My eyes narrow. Of course there’s a catch. — What kind of favor?

— My ex is getting married in a few weeks. I need a date for her engagement party. A fake girlfriend, if you will. — He’s smirking now, clearly enjoying the ridiculousness of our mutual predicaments.

I can’t help but laugh. — So, we’re swapping fake relationship duties?

— Exactly. You help me, I help you. It’s perfect.

I take a deep breath, feeling the absurdity of the situation settle in. But the thing is, it could work. He’s the perfect fake boyfriend—charming enough to fool my family, and with enough baggage of his own to make the whole thing feel like less of a mess.

— Alright, it’s a deal. But no funny business.

Nathan grins wider. — You have my word.

— And we need to set some ground rules. Like no kissing in front of my grandmother. She’ll get too excited and start planning a real wedding.

He chuckles. — Noted. But you’ll have to tell me all about your family first. I need to know what I’m getting myself into.

I nod. — You’ll regret it, trust me.

As we finalize our bizarre agreement, I feel a strange sense of relief. Maybe this fake relationship won’t be as bad as I thought.

But as Nathan walks away with his coffee, throwing me one last mischievous grin, a thought creeps into my mind: What have I just gotten myself into?

Chapter 2: Meeting the Family

I tap my foot nervously, staring at the outfits scattered across my bed. The wedding is still a few weeks away, but I’m already obsessing over every tiny detail, starting with what I’ll wear when I introduce Nathan to my family this weekend. It’s the big family dinner—the one where all the doubts, questions, and are you sure he’s the one? will come rolling in.

Nathan texted me earlier, cool as a cucumber: Ready to meet the family on Saturday?

I’m not ready. Not even close. But I can’t back out now.

I grab my phone and text Sophie, seeking some sort of lifeline: I’m officially introducing Nathan to my family this weekend. Kill me now.

Sophie, being the supportive friend she is, replies with: You’re insane, but I love it. Is he as cute as I remember?

I roll my eyes but smile. Nathan is cute, in that effortless, disheveled way. It’s part of the reason I’m so nervous. What if he’s too casual for the family? What if they see right through us?

The phone buzzes again: Make sure he knows your family’s quirks. God knows they’ve got a lot of them.

A snort escapes me. Sophie’s not wrong. Between my mother’s obsession with perfection and my father’s terrible habit of interrogating every