The Connection Driven Classroom: Proactive and Practical Tools to Improve Student Behaviors

Advance Praise

Kevin Curtis has written a masterpiece for educators at all levels. The Connection-Driven Classroom: Proactive and Practical Tools to Improve Student Behaviors focuses on the most significant vehicle to learning relationships. His Connection-Driven focus is much needed in the twenty-first-century classroom, and I am therefore certain that countless educators will find the contents of this book to be most beneficial to learning in their schools and classrooms.

—Baruti Kafele, retired principal, education consultant, author

"For years, educators have been told, ‘The deeper the relationship, the deeper the learning.’ Finally, the best in the business has provided us with a manual for exactly how to do just that. When it comes to providing teachers with the blueprint, strategy, tools, and step-by-step instructions for connecting with kids so we can more effectively deliver our content, no one is better than Kevin Curtis."

—Hal Bowman, coauthor of Dear Teacher: 100 Days of Inspirational Quotes and Anecdotes and

host of the Teach Like a Rock Star podcast

"Kevin Curtis has done transformational work as a professional educator and trained thousands of others in how to create dynamic, welcoming, and inclusive spaces where all students feel connected. This is a must-read for all educational practitioners. You’ll be inspired, empowered, and equipped."

—James Whitfield, EdD, award-winning educator

"Kevin Curtis has shown time and time again that relationships are the foundation of our educational system. In his book, The Connection-Driven Classroom, he has taken this philosophy and shared practical strategies to elevate the health, connection, and ultimately achievement of the students we serve."

—Kate Barker, speaker, coach, retired principal, and coauthor of Principaled: Navigating the Leadership Learning Curve

"Kevin Curtis is a man doing the right things for the right reasons. He is leaning into the voices of those he serves to elevate and enhance the educational experience for all. He understands that to change the mind, you don’t need to change the heart—you need to embrace the heart. He seeks to find the passions, the interests, and the opportunities for each as well as for every. This book is a must-read for anyone who hopes to amplify the impact of others, especially those with a purpose of changing destinies."

—Dave Schmittou, EdD, former professor, principal, assistant principal, coach, and teacher

This groundbreaking book provides an invaluable toolkit for fostering authentic, trust-based relationships in educational and organizational settings. By focusing on honest communication and collective meaning, it offers practical strategies for enhancing classroom engagement, saving time, and building empowered, value-driven connections. With insights on persistence and the importance of being seen and heard, this resource is essential for educators and leaders committed to nurturing a positive, impactful environment where every student and team member is truly valued."

—Frankie Mendoza, School District Coordinator of

Restorative Practices.

Kevin Curtis has created a guide for educators who want to create meaningful and lasting relationships with their students. He lays out proactive and practical tools designed to improve student behaviors by focusing on connections rather than punishment. Through engaging strategies like the Meet & Greet and the 60-Second Relate Break, Kevin offers a step-by-step guide to fostering an inclusive and supportive classroom environment where students feel valued, seen, and heard.

—Adam Dovico, EdD, professor, former principal, author, presenter

The most fundamental unit of energy in all classrooms is the moment of genuine connection. Creating these on a regular basis with every student on my roster continues to be one of the most important things I do as a teacher. These moments look deceptively simple, but what Kevin Curtis will teach you in this book is that they are carefully, intentionally, and skillfully created. He'll show you how to get there — keep reading.

—Dave Stuart

The Connection-Driven Classroom reinforces not only WHY we need to build relationships and connections with our students first, but HOW to do it.  Kevin provides a blueprint for creating a supportive and inclusive classroom community where every student feels valued and understood. It's a toolkit every teacher needs!

—Kim Strobel, author of Teach Happy: Small Steps to Big Joy, speaker, and owner of Strobel Education

As a former superintendent, I see how The Connection Driven Classroom will be a valuable resource for school districts. Kevin Curtis not only offers practical tools that can be applied at the classroom level but also provides a framework that can be scaled district-wide to transform the entire culture of a school system. His focus on proactive relationship-building aligns with the goals of creating supportive, inclusive environments that foster student success—both academically and behaviorally.

This book presents district leaders with an opportunity to bridge the gap between instructional practices and student well-being, offering actionable strategies to reduce disciplinary issues and increase student engagement. Curtis's emphasis on simple yet effective tools that require minimal time investment makes it feasible for educators at all levels to implement, ensuring consistency and sustainability across campuses.

What makes this book stand out is its accessibility. Curtis breaks down complex ideas into easy-to-follow strategies that educators can immediately apply in their classrooms. Tools like The Meet & Greet and The 60-Second Relate Break offer quick, effective ways to build rapport and trust with students, creating an inclusive atmosphere where every student feels valued. This proactive approach helps manage behaviors and nurtures a supportive learning environment that encourages growth.  

School districts seeking to improve teacher-student relationships, strengthen classroom management, and cultivate a positive school culture will find this book indispensable. Curtis’s connection-driven approach can potentially transform individual classrooms and entire schools, setting the foundation for long-term success in any educational setting.

—Chris Galloway, Executive Coach / Former Superintendent

The Connection Driven Classroom by Kevin Curtis focuses on the importance of building strong, positive relationships between students and teachers to enhance educational outcomes. You will find practical strategies for teachers to connect with their students, fostering a classroom environment that is conducive to learning through caring and supportive relationships.  Key point include everyday techniques and tools for developing meaningful interactions, the benefits of a connected classroom on student learning and behavior, and methods for teachers to cultivate a nurturing and inclusive atmosphere.  Overall, the book serves as a guide for educators to create a classroom culture around connection and mutual respect, which ultimately drives student success and well-being.

—Jim Sporleder, National School Trauma Informed Trainer

The

Connection-Driven

Classroom

Proactive and Practical Tools to Improve Student Behaviors

Kevin Curtis

The Connection-Driven Classroom:

Proactive and Practical Tools to Improve Student Behaviors

© copyright 2024

Kevin Curtis

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval without the prior written permission of the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission, please contact the author.

Special note: while stories depicting real-life interactions are used within this book, names, places, and events have been changed, merged, and otherwise altered to protect the privacy of individuals involved.

ISBN ebook: 978-1-964014-40-1

ISBN paperback: 978-1-964014-41-8

ISBN hardcover: 978-1-964014-42-5

Library of Congress Control Number has been applied for.

Published by Tasfil Publishing, LLC

Voorhees, New Jersey

Table of Contents

Introduction: The Currency of Connections

Part I: The Story of CDC and its TCT

1. A Little (More) about Me

2. Relationships vs. Connections

3. What Makes a Teacher Outstanding?

Part II: TCT for Schools

Caveat

4. Tool #1: The Meet & Greet

5. Tool #2: The 60-Second Relate Break

6. Tool #3: The 2-Minute Connection

7. Tool #4: The Positive Spark

8. Tool #5: The Treatment Agreement

9. GTKY Questions

Conclusion: Believe

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Dedication

To all the educators who have made a difference in the lives of their students, this book is dedicated to you. Your tireless dedication, unwavering commitment, and selfless service have shaped the lives of countless individuals, including mine. You have taught us not only academic subjects but also life lessons that will stay with us forever.

You have inspired us to dream big, to aim high, and to never give up on ourselves. You have believed in us even when we didn’t believe in ourselves, and you have pushed us to be the best versions of ourselves. You have nurtured our talents and abilities and helped us discover our passions and interests.

You have been our mentors, our role models, and our guides, showing us the way when we were lost and cheering us on when we succeeded. You have listened to us, cared for us, and supported us, both inside and outside the classroom.

Your impact on our lives cannot be measured by grades, awards, or accolades but by the way we live our lives, the choices we make, and the people we become. You have left an indelible mark on our hearts and minds, and we will forever be grateful for your guidance and influence.

So to all the educators who have touched our lives in ways big and small, thank you. Thank you for inspiring us, for believing in us, and for making us who we are today. May your legacy continue to live on through the generations of students whose lives you have touched.

Introduction

The Currency of Connections

I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued. When they can give it, when they can receive, when they can give and receive without judgment. And when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

—Brené Brown[1]

M

y cat, Kai, likes to post himself near my computer while I write. I’m probably not the only one whose cat’s big mission in life is to obstruct work. He’ll sit in my lap, stand right in front of my monitor, or even walk on my keyboard. Sometimes, he’ll hold his tail under my nose, giving me a big furry mustache like I’m Sam Elliott about to ride the range. It’s hard not to lose concentration and laugh, give a pet, or bat him away in exasperation. It’s no great mystery why he does this. He just wants what everyone wants: to be valued, seen, and heard. To feel connected. To say, I am here! and be acknowledged by the people he looks up to.

In other words, Kai acts a lot like our students, something I’m reminded of each time I step into a classroom, as happened recently, when I was working with a sixth-grade class. I was there consulting on how to build relationships in the classroom. That’s my main job now, consulting. After the initial workshops, about once a month, I’d go back to see how the educators were doing with the tools they were learning. Always, I’d discover the energy we created was contagious.

That day, a seventh-grade teacher stopped me. Hey, I know I haven’t officially been trained in your techniques, but I’ve heard a lot about them from other educators. The next time you come, if you have an open period, I’d love it if you’d visit my class and show me and my students what some of these relationship tools look like.

On my return, I met with the seventh-grade teacher’s class. This was my first time with them. I walked in with my trusty backpack, and I guess my reputation preceded me because all the students started exclaiming, It’s Circle Guy! (At the time, I was doing relational activities in circles.)

What questions are you going to ask us?

Watch out; he’s gonna make you talk about your mom!

Watch out; he’s gonna make you cry!

These may have been childish taunts, but I immediately recognized these students saw me as more therapist than educator, and they didn’t trust me. Recognition of a lack of a relationship is a valuable lesson. Their perception of me may have been wrong, but it was their reality, and instead of invalidating it, I had to hear it, see it, and start there. I knew they would resist responding to me directly, so I had to go an indirect route and take the pressure off.

My name is Mr. Curtis. Some people call me the Circle Guy. But you know what? Today is not even going to be about circles. It’s just a chance to get to know each other. So we’re going to do a couple rounds of an activity that I think will be really fun. And I’m not going to put a question on the board. I’m going to use my conversation cubes, and we’re going to let the dice roll!

From my backpack, I pulled out a handful of premade conversation cubes I’d bought on Amazon. Each side had a Get to Know You (GTKY) question or conversation-starter written on it. We got into our circle, and I set the ground rules: We want everyone to feel heard, so let’s not talk over each other. We want everyone to feel seen, so let’s look at each other’s faces.

Okay, Mr. Curtis! the class agreed.

I passed out the cubes so everyone could look at them. The cubes are our talking pieces. Whatever question we roll, we answer. Can I get a thumbs-up？

No thumbs-up.

Well, do or die. I would model the first connection. I rolled the cube, held it, and picked it up as my talking piece. If you could be any kind of cereal, what would you be? That’s easy: Cocoa Puffs.

I handed my cube off to the student on the right, and the game was on. Pretty soon, the classroom looked like a casino. Cubes were rolling around the space, and students were squealing, What is it? What is it? as they waited to see what question they got. Students scrambled after the cubes and raised their hands in victory when they settled. They asked to go out of order, and I let them. They even made up their own rules: If it rolls in front of you, you have to answer it! It was a bit off script, but it was fun. And all of a sudden, everyone was excited about having conversations and sharing.

Then a conversation cube rolled out of the excitement, and one student picked it up. Oh, man. I thought you said we weren’t gonna have to talk about these things.

I looked at him, not sure which question he was staring at. These were supposed to be shallow, fun questions; there shouldn’t have been any that inspired such a look of trepidation.

I reassured the student, At the end of the day, I want you to feel comfortable. I want you to feel valued, seen, and heard. If we need to reroll the dice, we reroll.

He looked at the cube again. No, I’ll answer it: when my parents got divorced. Then he handed off the cube to the next student, and it went around again.

The prompt he got? A time when you were sad.

The space we create in a moment