5 Things You Need to Know About Social Skills Coaching: Your Guide to Better Communication Skills in the Modern World

5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SOCIAL SKILLS COACHING

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© 2017 Roya Ostovar, PhD & Krista DiVittore, PsyD

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ISBN: 9781941765425

Dedication

To my beautiful daughter Savanna who never ceases to amaze me with her endless compassion, love and humanity, incredible wisdom, maturity and thoughtfulness, and extraordinary strength, determination and perseverance in the face of adversity. I am honored to be in your presence and proud to call you my daughter.

— Roya Ostovar

To my pillars of strength: My husband, Matthew, for believing in my dreams just as much as I do and chasing them with me no matter where our adventures take us; and my mother, Ruth, for sharing your invaluable wisdom with me and always showing me unconditional love. Both of you inspire me to go for it and to be the best version of myself.

— Krista DiVittore

And in loving memory of Jennifer Ward Oppenheimer, who began a new journey as this book was going to print. Your recognition and acknowledgment of the importance of this work and unwavering support, validation, and appreciation meant more to me than you will ever know. Thank you.

— Roya

Acknowledgments

This guide was developed based on many conversations that we have had with each other and our colleagues explaining what social skills coaching is, who it is for, and why it is beneficial. We are grateful for these conversations that helped us recognize the value in creating a guide that will answer families’ and professionals’ questions about this service that has helped and will help so many.

This work would not have been possible without the support of our family and friends. Your encouragement carried us through to the finish line for this project. Thank you for valuing what we do, believing in our vision, and being a part of our journey.

We would also like to express our gratitude to Jennifer Gilpin Yacio and Future Horizons for giving us the opportunity to publish this guide to help families. And we’d like to thank our editor Rose Heredia-Bechtel—for taking on this project with us and being patient with our process.

Above all, we would like to thank our clients and their families. We have had the great privilege and pleasure of working with you. You truly inspire us to do better and to remember what is important in life. Thanks to you, our work has become more meaningful than we could have ever imagined.

Contents

Foreword

Introduction

1

Social Skills Are More Than Socializing

2

Social Skills Coaching Is a Frequent, High-Dose Service

3

Social Skills Coaching Is Individualized for Everybody

4

Social Skills Coaching Happens Inside and Outside the Office

5

Social Skills Coaching Improves Quality of Life

6

How Do I Know Social Skills Coaching Is Working?

Conclusion

Resources

References

Foreword

The wide-spread understanding is that socializing with others generally brings meaning and comfort to our lives. When our social skills are lacking, weak, or underdeveloped, we may not be able to fully engage with and appreciate our relationships with other people. So, how do we teach socializing and interpersonal connection, something intuitive to so many of us? The approaches do not always seem to fit the need.

Most books on social skills training target the very young and school-age children and/or those who struggle significantly in this area and lack any social skills at all. The books are written in a language that is appropriate for these two groups only, often accompanied by simple cartoons, pictures, and drawings and thought or word bubbles, a format that may be experienced as condescending or disrespectful by many. The assignments, examples, and scenarios are also designed to address young children and those with significant social challenges. What I have found incredibly refreshing and different about 5 Things You Need to Know about Social Skills Coaching is that the content crosses all ages, stages, and abilities from a young school-age child who needs to learn basic greeting to an otherwise successful and highly educated adult who just wants to improve certain targeted social skills.

Social skills groups often target young children and, more recently, teenagers, but what about young adults and adults continuing to struggle with day-to-day social interactions? Psychotherapy often targets the co-occurring issues that influence effective socialization and behavioral therapies are often limited to very basic skills learning. What about the individuals who never developed the skills of