What If You're Doing It Right? for Teens

1

MAKING MISTAKES EVERY SINGLE DAY IS NORMAL

When you were a baby first learning to walk, you fell down a LOT. You probably didn’t punch the ground with your little fists and think, Forget it! I suck at walking! I’ll just go back to lying in my crib playing with my toes.

In the same way that younger version of you instinctively embraced the challenge of learning a new skill and growing up in front of his or her own very eyes, you need to give yourself that same permission.

Yes, you will mess up. Yes, sometimes in embarrassing and maybe even serious ways. But you’re here to have your own personal experience of living a human life. So live it. Try things. Push yourself. Be smart and kind and do your best, but don’t be afraid of not doing everything perfectly.

Yes, you’re guaranteed to fall sometimes—so what? Steady yourself and get back up again. You did it before—lots of times, even before you ever knew how to talk or hold a spoon. You’ve learned a lot since then. Trust that you’re still as brave and capable as you were back when you were small.

2

GO AHEAD AND TAKE UP SPACE IN THE WORLD

You have a right to be here. You were born on this earth and you have a life of your own to live. Embrace that! Be here! Fill out your rightful place in the world.

When you cave in on yourself, slouch, keep your eyes down, try to make yourself seem smaller than you are because that feels safer somehow—you’re signaling to your precious self that secretly you believe you’re weak. But you’re not weak. And you don’t have to pretend you are.

So stand up to your full height. Let your chin be level. Look out on the world. Carry yourself as though you already believe right now that you’re wonderful and worthy and you’re here to live a big life. You’re here to be happy. Your body wants to stand tall and carry you like the brave, confident person you are. Let it.

3

BE WHO YOU INTEND TO BE

Do you want to be happy, confident, brave, smart? So do it. Right now. Stop waiting. You don’t need anyone’s permission to start acting like the person you intend to be.

You’re not faking it, you’re just skipping the waiting and the steps in between. The truth is, you can change in a moment, like flipping a switch. You decide and you go.

Do you want to be confident? Stand straight, speak with courage in your voice. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Smile. Think of all the ways a confident person behaves—you’ve seen actors in movies do it, you’ve seen people in real life—and don’t wait to magically grow into that person some day. It’s as simple as stepping into the shower as the old version of yourself, washing her or him away, and then stepping out as the new edition of yourself.

Will people notice? Will your family or friends think you’re strange if you suddenly stop acting shy or insecure or afraid? Maybe, and that’s okay. Think to yourself, This is how I was going to be by the time I was (pick your future age), and I finally realized I didn’t have to wait.

The time is now. Go ahead and become the future you.

4

EVERY DAY IS A FRESH CHANCE TO BEGIN AGAIN. TAKE IT

Every night the sun goes down on the day that was. What a wonderful gift.

And every morning you have the opportunity to start fresh. People get excited about New Year’s Day because it’s so full of new possibilities. But you don’t have to wait for New Year’s or your birthday or any other special date. Each morning is a reset. Decide how you want to be.

Were you sad yesterday? Angry? Pitiful and hurt? Did you make mistakes and feel foolish or betrayed?

Not today. Today is new. You are new. You decide who you are and how you feel. No one stands between you and the person you prefer to be. Take control of your life. Be in charge of your mood. Your emotions and your behavior belong to you, no one else. You decide.

Let your body help you. Stand up tall. Look into your own eyes in the mirror. Smile at yourself. Give yourself some words of encouragement: I love you. You’re fun. I like you. You’re great. Who wouldn’t want to start every day hearing that?

5

YOUR EARS ARE THE FIRST TO HEAR WHAT YOU SAY

So be careful what they hear.

I’m a terrible driver. I suck at math. I’m ugly. I’m fat. No one likes me. I’m stupid. I never get what I want. Bad stuff always happens to me.

Really? That’s what you want to hear coming from your own mouth? Those are really the messages you want coming directly from you in your own voice?

Ask your friends to point out every time you say negative things about yourself. You might be amazed, once you start paying attention. Imagine someone saying those things about your best friend—you’d stick up for her or him, wouldn’t you?

Stick up for yourself. Let your ears and your mind hear you saying only kind things about who you are and what you’ve done. All that kindness adds up quickly to give you a whole new view of yourself.

I was really nice to myself today.

That’s a message worth hearing.

6

BE HAPPY WITH YOUR BODY NOW, NO EXCEPTIONS

You are the whole package: mind, body, and soul.

And in the same way you can’t improve your grades or your intelligence by constantly telling yourself you’re stupid, you can’t help your body find its best health and appearance if you’re always at war with it, making sure it knows you’re disappointed and angry with how it looks.

So today, begin a new, loving relationship with the physical part of yourself.

Perfection is a myth. And it’s a damaging one that keeps us from fully enjoying our lives right now. It’s time to fix that.

You can want something different for yourself without hating and condemning where you are. That kind of disappointment in yourself is a poison that keeps you tired and weak and ineffective in boldly moving forward so that you can claim the best for yourself in every area of your life.

So how do you begin to change this? By committing to loving—not just accepting, but loving—your wonderful body exactly as it is. You can want the best for it in the future and still love it now in its current wonderful form.

Your love for yourself changes everything. Watch.

7

FOCUS ON THE RIGHT PARTS OF YOUR BODY

Some of us have a hard time liking how we look. But we’re focusing on the wrong thing.

Today you will begin a new program of redesigning your relationship with your appearance. If you stick with this and do it every