Anxiety Management for Kids on the Autism Spectrum: Your Guide to Preventing Meltdowns and Unlocking Potential

ANXIETY MANAGEMENT FOR KIDS ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM

Your guide to preventing meltdowns and unlocking potential

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© 2019 Christopher Lynch

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ISBN: 9781941765982

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Dedication

For Dylan and Rose. You’ve taught me more about autism than any textbook or research paper ever could but, more importantly, you’ve taught me how indomitable the human spirit can be in face of extreme challenge. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Contents

CHAPTER ONE

Anxiety 24/7

Morning: Before School

The School Day

After School/Evening

The Close Relationship Between Anxiety and Autism

Why Work to Reduce Anxiety?

The Need for a Plan

Organization of the Book

CHAPTER TWO

Clues to Anxiety

So, How Can I Tell if a Child with Autism Is Anxious?

CHAPTER THREE

Identifying the Five Prime Suspects

But Where Do I Even Begin?

How Can I Tell Which of These Suspects Is Responsible?

Narrowing it Down

The Next Step

CHAPTER FOUR

Prime Suspect Number One: Rigidity

Why Are Children with Autism So Rigid?

Difficulty Coping with Change

Difficulty Coping with Transition

Inflexible Way of Viewing the World

Fixed Behavioral Routines

Restricted and Intense Interests

The Influence of Rigidity on the Other Suspects

CHAPTER FIVE

Prime Suspect Number Two: Sensory Sensitivities

Specific Sensory Sensitivities

General Sensory Sensitivities

Sensory Comfort Zone

Strategies and Solutions for Getting Back into the Sensory Comfort Zone

CHAPTER SIX

Prime Suspect Number Three: Social Challenges

Why Are Social Interactions so Difficult for Those on the Spectrum?

How Do Social Skills Difficulties Lead to Anxiety?

Understanding What Bullying Is

The Importance of Being Around Other Kids

CHAPTER SEVEN

Prime Suspect Number Four: Communication Barriers

Speech Impairments

Expressive Language Impairments

Receptive Language Impairments

Pragmatic Language Impairments

CHAPTER EIGHT

Prime Suspect Number Five: Task Frustration

Common Areas of Task Frustration

CHAPTER NINE

Coping Skills for Body and Mind

Learning Tools and Resources

Introducing Coping Skills

Relaxation Strategies for the Body

Applying Diaphragmatic Breathing to Real-Life Situations

Relaxation Strategies for the Mind

Strategies for Worry

Rigid Thinking

Stress Management

Time Management

Eating Healthy

Exercise

Sleep

CHAPTER TEN

The Five Prime Suspects at School

Prime Suspect Number One: Rigidity

Prime Suspect Number Two: Sensory Sensitivities

Prime Suspect Number Three: Social Challenges

Prime Suspect Number Four: Language Demands

Prime Suspect Number Five: Task Frustration

Places Where All the Suspects Come Together: The Case of the Dreaded Cafeteria!

Strategies for Teachers

Teaching Stress and Anxiety Management Strategies at School

Support for the Class (or School) as a Whole

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Embracing Strengths

Personal Strengths

Strength in Others

Knowing What’s Available

Understanding How to Use These Networks

Enlisting Community Support

Strength in Beliefs

CHAPTER TWELVE

Coping 24/7

Morning: Before School

The School Day

After School/Evening

Reflection

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

If you are the parent of a child with autism, you have likely received lots of advice on what types of services your child should receive. You were probably told you have to get such services as speech and language therapy, behavioral training (ABA), sensory integration training, occupational therapy, physical therapy, individualized educational programming, social skills training, and a host of others. Much of this advice is sound. These types of services have made a crucial difference in improving the lives of children on the spectrum. However, one of the most common areas of concern for kids with autism has to do with managing anxiety and the meltdowns that often result from such anxiety. Indeed, anxiety can drastically impede or undo the progress made from all of the other services that a child with autism receives. And yet, services to help with stress and anxiety management were probably not on the list of things you absolutely must get for your child. This is unfortunate given the profound impact that anxiety has on the lives of children with autism and on those who teach, support, and live with them.

So, just how much does anxiety affect children on the spectrum and those who support them? To get a sense for this, let’s consider what a typical day may look like by following a fictional account of a child whom we will call Jason. Jason is bright and verbal. He has received many therapeutic and educational services from a young age. As you read through the scenario, consider if your child, student, or client would respond in a similar way to the situations encountered by Jason.

Morning: Before School

To be fair to Jason, he did not wake up this morning and think, I want to make myself and others miserable. Instead, his behavior and mood were driven by anxiety. This anxiety occurred in reaction to situations that required sensory regulation, flexibility, and the ability to move smoothly from one activity to the next. For children without autism, these situations may not even have been noticed or, at the most, would have been seen as minor annoyances. For the child on the spectrum, however, such situations can result in high levels of anxiety and are often experienced as a major disruption to one’s day. Some of the consequences of this anxious response are anger, frustration, and challenging behavior.

To help prevent minor blips from escalating into full-blown episodes (aka meltdowns), parents often have to tread carefully in the morning. Much of the morning may be spent either preventing their child from getting anxious in the first place or trying to reassure him or her when things don’t go according to plan. This can be time-consuming and fatiguing. It also saps the energy of the child experiencing the anxiety.

The School Day

Anxiety is not left outside of the school doors. School can create anxiety and frustration for any student. However, anxiety is often magnified for the student with autism. To get a sense for this, let’s follow Jason as he goes through his school day.

For the student with autism, school can be an overwhelming place to be. Sensory overload, academic frustration, and a multitude of social challenges often combine at school in a way that is extremely challenging. School is also the place where, much of the time, the student has to follow the agenda of other people rather than his own and this can be distressing. For these and other reasons (which I put into five groups that I like to call my five prime suspects), school often makes the student with autism anxious. Such anxiety at school creates distress for the student and can make it difficult to learn effectively. In some cases, school-related anxiety can also lead to behavioral challenges. These challenges can disrupt the flow of the classroom and are draining on teachers and staff. Anxiety at school can also add to the social difficulties that kids with autism already have. For example, anxiety can lead to behaviors that make the child stand out (such as screaming during fire drills) and can lead to social isolation (such as standing alone at recess because the child is nervous about what to say to get a conversation started).

After School/Evening

The end of the school day is often looked forward to by other kids as a time to enjoy and relax. For kids on the spectrum, stress and anxieties often continue; a lot of things can go wrong before, during, and after school. When things go wrong, a child on the spectrum may not be able to shrug it off. Most kids can accept that these sorts of things happen all the time and they quickly adapt. For kids on the spectrum, however, these are not minor inconveniences. These situations represent a major, unexpected turn of events and often result in major anxiety. Let’s see what happens to Jason after school and into the evening and how this contributes to his anxiety.

The Close Relationship Between Anxiety and Autism

The close relationship between anxiety and autism is clearly evident in my clinical work. Although anxiety is not listed as a core symptom for autism, it is often the prime reason why kids with autism are brought to my office. My clinical experience is often echoed by those on the spectrum. Temple GrandinI is often quoted as saying, "The principle emotion experienced by autistic