ARE YOU RAISING A BULLY?

EBK02_28Sep24_Book_TaraTownes_dox_-_RepublicationAdminDwayne Mervyn202024-11-25T19:05:00Z2024-11-25T19:06:00Z2024-11-25T19:06:00Z11827448156458Aspose130336718353916.00002023-05-02T00:00:00ZMicrosoft® Word 20162023-06-02T00:00:00ZMicrosoft® Word 2016

Are You Raising A

Bully?

Tara Lynn Townes

Copyright © 2023

Tara Lynn Townes

All rights reserved.

Dedication

To all young children, adolescents, and young adults who are bullied, have thought about committing suicide, or have succeeded at suicide…

You are the rhythm to which our hearts beat. You are important and deeply loved!

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.

Helen Keller

Acknowledgments

I would love to thank the guiding force in my life, who has been there for me every step of the way. Your presence reminds me of the love and support that surrounds me, and I am forever grateful for the direction you provide in my life.

To my parents, Ronald and Barbara Townes, and my siblings, Ronnie, Dee Dee, and Ernest. You were and are a lifeline of support, love, and guidance.

Thank you to my loving children, who fill my cup when it is empty, Obadiah Mikha’el, Maya Armon, Encore L., Etasha Marie, and Selena.

To my bestie, closest confidante, and business partner, Paige Danielle Wheeler - you are my day-one partner in charitable deeds. You are always there, not only for me but for the cause. Bless you!

To my beautiful grandchildren, Weston Michael, Josiah Samir, Mikel Lyric, Amari Makai, Serenity Renee, and my silly grand dog Laila Ali, aka (Waywas). Thank you for inspiring me to keep moving even when you are not in my presence. I love you all to pieces!

Thank you, Tyrone Poole, Kirston Pittman, Marc Hoberman and Kris Tucker, for your support!

To Roger McNair, Thank you for the beautiful book cover and all your support! 4Life

To the world, Love you and everyone else around you.

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1

What Is Bullying?

Chapter 2

Why Do Bullies Bully?

Chapter 3

Who Are the Players?-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 4

Signs You Are Raising a Bully

Chapter 5

Teachers Are Also Bullied

Chapter 6

Little Bullies Become Big Bullies

Chapter 7

The Long-Term Negative Effects of Bullying on Adolescents & Society

Chapter 8

Suicide Signs & Prevention in Adolescents

Chapter 9

The Long-term Effects of COVID-19 & Cyberbullying

Chapter 10

Creating a Bully-Free Home & School Climate

Chapter 11

Innovation & Technology

Chapter 12

The Resolution

Chapter 13

The Resolution in Action

About the Author

Bibliography

Chapter 1

What Is Bullying?

The issues of power and its misuse frequently arise in various aspects of life. The saying, Evil is not born; it is made, carries some truth. Often, people's actions are shaped by what they have been taught and what they have observed in their environment. These learned behaviors can persist into adulthood, becoming part of their personality, potentially causing harm to others and themselves. Nevertheless, it is possible to change these patterns with early intervention.

Many individuals who abuse power as adults likely engaged in harmful behavior during their youth, targeting those they perceived as weaker or younger to gain power or control. This struggle for power during adolescence is commonly known as bullying. It is crucial to address bullying in its initial stages when the individual's behavior is still malleable through corrective intervention. To do so, it is essential to comprehend the diverse types of bullying, the bully’s psychological makeup, and the factors that drive their actions.

Bullying can take various forms, including verbal, physical, social, sexual, cyber, racial, and emotional. These categories can sometimes overlap [1], with a perpetrator employing multiple methods or channels to inflict harm on their target. By understanding these types and intervening early, it is possible to reshape harmful patterns and promote healthier interactions.

A key characteristic of bullying is the power imbalance between the perpetrator and the receiver, or target. This imbalance does not always manifest in physical terms, such as when a larger or stronger individual targets a smaller or weaker one. Instead, it can involve subtler disparities, such as differences in popularity, intellect, cultural background, or abilities. The imbalance may also arise from the perpetrator's knowledge of information that the target finds embarrassing.

Detecting power imbalances can be challenging; however, identifying the specific type of bullying occurring can help determine how to address the situation. In the following section, we will explore various forms of bullying in depth to gain a better understanding of their characteristics and implications. This knowledge will enable us to develop appropriate strategies for intervention and prevention.

Verbal Bullying

Verbal bullying involves using spoken or written words to demean or intimidate a target. This form of bullying can encompass insults, teasing, or even threats. Studies indicate that insults are the most prevalent type of verbal bullying experienced by children aged 7-10 and that girls are more likely to be verbally bullied than boys [2]

Perpetrators of verbal bullying often employ statements, words, and name-calling to degrade or harm their targets. They may use derogatory terms related to appearance, intelligence, or race. Bullies typically choose targets based on their behavior, appearance, or perceived differences.

These differences, particularly in abilities or unique qualities, can create a power imbalance between the bully and the receiver, leading to the demeaning treatment of the target. Verbal bullying can have severe, long-lasting psychological consequences. Detecting verbal bullying can be challenging because it frequently occurs in the absence of authority figures and can be disguised as friendly banter. Consequently, proving the target's mistreatment can be difficult. Over time, verbal bullying can result in significant stress and anxiety for the individual affected.

Physical Bullying

Physical bullying involves acts of aggression against a person's body, such as hitting, kicking, tripping, or pushing. It can also include stealing or damaging someone's property or making offensive gestures. Research indicates that boys typically engage in physical bullying more than girls, although the latter's involvement is increasing over time.

Physical bullying often follows verbal bullying, especially when a perpetrator realizes that verbal abuse alone is no longer sufficient to affect the target psychologically. It is crucial to understand that bullies usually target individuals they perceive as weaker and unlikely to fight back. Any resistance they encounter may either amuse or anger them. Physical bullying is the most apparent form of aggression and often comes to mind when people think of bullying. If you ever experience such maltreatment, or if you witness or know of it transpiring, it is essential to inform an adult or someone in authority about the incidents. Inaction may embolden the bully, leading them to believe there will be no consequences for their actions. In the absence of accountability and repercussions, bullying may continue unchecked. Addressing the issue and removing the target can help resolve the bullying situation.

Social Bullying

Social bullying, also referred to as relational bullying or relational aggression, involves behaviors intended to damage a person's reputation or relationships. Examples include public humiliation, spreading rumors, or excluding someone from social situations or groups. This form of bullying is more covert than others and can be particularly harmful due to the element of social manipulation.

Research suggests that girls are more likely to be a target of relational bullying, while both boys and girls are equally likely to engage in such behavior [3]. Girls who participate in relational bullying may experience adjustment issues, including challenges in maintaining and nurturing positive relationships.

Social bullying can result in isolation, loneliness, depression, and social anxiety. Some studies indicate that school counselors may view relational bullying as less severe than physical or verbal bullying, leading to reduced empathy for targets. This perception may stem from the difficulty in detecting the severity of social bullying, which often occurs in both educational and workplace settings.

Social bullying does not always involve direct verbal or physical abuse; it can often be carried out discreetly through exclusion. Research and anecdotal evidence from parents and families affected by adolescent suicide suggest that social bullying is a significant contributing factor to this tragic outcome.

Sexual Bullying

Sexual bullying encompasses a range of behaviors, such as sexual jokes, name-calling, crude gestures, spreading sexual rumors (online or in person), sending unsolicited sexual photos or videos, sexting, and touching or grabbing someone without consent. Sexual harassment and bullying are widespread issues.