Lessons I Hope You Have Learned

Lessons I Hope You Have Learned

Copyright 2024 by Dr. Joe Pettigrew.  All rights reserved.

Published by ITZ Publishers

ISBN 979-8306265049

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, or mechanical, including photocopy, audio recording, digital scanning, or any information storage and retrieval system now know or to be invented, without prior permission in writing from the author.

In references within this piece to internet addresses of web sites not under the administration of In The Zone Ministries is not to be taken as an endorsement.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture notations are from the New International Version (The Holy Bible) copyright 2011 by Biblica, a publishing ministry of the International Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

FORWARD

We are excited to introduce Lessons I Hope You Have Learned. If grandparents could pass along a few lessons to their grandchildren, they wouldn't come from textbooks or lectures—they'd be lessons shaped by life, faith, and love. These are the principles you wish for them to carry as they grow, learn, and lead lives of meaning.  It’s not about grand gestures—it’s in the everyday choices. It’s in smiling at a stranger, offering forgiveness, or pausing to listen when someone feels unseen. The lasting impact of kindness will touch more hearts than you may ever know.  Young or old, failure is a powerful teacher. It can feel like a dead end, but looked at through faith, failure often redirects us toward God’s better plan. Lean into those moments, knowing that His strength is perfected in your weakness. You’ll grow wiser, kinder, and more resilient than you could imagine. Our hope for our grandchildren isn’t that they live a perfect life. It’s that they live a life full of faith, love, and courage, holding onto the truth that God is with them every step of the way. Whatever storms may come, may they stand firm, rooted in the hope that can only be found in Him.

Joe

www.joepettigrew.org

Table Of Contents

How It Feels To Be Disappointed By A Close Friend     7

The Embarrassment Of Being Chosen Last   13

How To Be Truly Thankful   19

Older People Are Worth Listening To   23

That People Will Tell You, What You Want To Here   29

That Playing In The Rain Is Fun   33

What It Feels Like, To Be Lost In A Crowd   37

Many People Are Hungry, And Have No Money   41

Listening Is More Valuable Than Talking   45

To Put Things Back Where You Found Them   51

Being Happy, Is Your Responsibility   55

Grades Are Often Over Prioritized   59

People Will Break Your Heart   63

Do Nice Things For Strangers   69

Seeking Recognition Turns People Off   73

What’s Important To Some, Is Not Important To Others   77

Your Family Is Important   83

Snow Days Are Special   87

There Is Always Someone, Smarter Than You   91

Pets Don’t Live Forever   95

Making Mistakes Are Expected   99

Failing Is The Beginning, Not The End 103

How It Feels To Be Part Of A Team 107

To Make Time To Pick Up Seashells 113

How It Feels When You Fall Off A Bike 117

Some People Get Sick,  And They Don’t Get Well 121

Tomorrow Is Not Guaranteed 125

Everything, Is Not About You 129

Choose To Be Kind, Even When It’s Not Easy 135

Finishing What You Start, Is Important 141

It’s Easy To Make A Bad Decision 145

To Share, If You Have More Than Others 151

To Be Content, With What You Have 155

To Be Present, In The Moment 159

Look For The Best, In Everyone 163

To Admit, When You Are Wrong 167

How To Say, I Am Sorry 171

To Live For What Lasts 175

Make Time To Rest And Relax  179

To Remember, You Are Never Alone 183

Author 189

I HOPE YOU HAVE LEARNED

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How It Feels To Be Disappointed

By A Close Friend

You think you know your friends.  You think you understand almost everything about them. You have shared laughter and tears, secrets and dreams. In the quiet moments, you have been a shoulder to lean on, a voice of reason. Then, in an instant, you see the cracks. A broken promise, a thoughtless word, a moment of blatant selfishness. Disappointment. It’s a heavy word, isn’t it? Especially when it involves someone you trusted, someone you thought would always have your back. Maybe it was your best friend, your roommate, or that teammate you thought you could trust no matter what. And now, here you are, sitting with the sting of their words or actions, questioning everything.

It doesn’t feel great, does it? Honestly, it feels kind of like having a surprise pop quiz in a class you didn’t study for, except worse.  Here’s the truth no one tells you about disappointment in friendships. Every deep relationship you’ll have in life will eventually involve hurt. Yeah, it stinks. But here’s the other side of that coin–disappointment is often where the strongest friendships are tested, refined, and sometimes even rebuilt stronger.

Why does it hurt so much? Well, it’s simple. The people closest to us hold the tools capable of building us up or cutting us down. Small things, like forgetting to text back or skipping your birthday dinner, might start to feel monumental because of the weight you gave them in your life. But you know what? Disappointment, as painful as it is, offers an opportunity for growth–for both you and your friend.  Here are a few things we have learned (and honestly, still struggle to practice sometimes):

You don’t have to pretend you’re totally fine when you’re clearly not. Sit with your emotions, journal them out, talk to someone you trust. It’s okay for it to hurt. It means you care. 

Ask yourself why does this hurt as much as it does? Did they cross a boundary you hadn’t realized you’d set? Were your expectations not communicated as clearly as they needed to be? Understanding where the pain is rooted can help you figure out what to do next. 

This one is hard, I know. But the same way we’ve all screwed up with friends before (hello, who hasn’t forgotten a birthday here or there?), they’re human too. Sometimes disappointment comes not from ill intent but simple oversight. 

Yeah, it’s awkward and sometimes terrifying. But a real friendship can stand up to a little honest conversation. Share how you feel without pointing fingers (I feel hurt when… vs. You always…). Give them a chance to explain and maybe even repair things. 

After the air is cleared, you’ll have a better idea of the friendship’s foundation. Some will bounce back stronger. Others may reveal cracks you can’t quite mend. And that’s okay. Recognizing when to hold on and when to step back is part of adulting (ugh, adulting). 

It’s so easy to slip into I can’t trust anyone after being hurt by someone close. But people are complex–beautifully, frustratingly complex. And while one experience may leave a mark, don’t allow it to stop you from opening your heart to others in the future. 

Friendship is messy. It’s filled with high highs and, unfortunately, some low lows. But learning to navigate those moments of disappointment can build resilience in ways you never expected.  It may not be earth-shattering but something changes. There may be no dramatic confrontation, no screaming match to end all screaming matches. At first, you try to brush it off. Tell yourself you're overreacting, that everyone has a bad day. You begin to question if you really were as important to them as they were to you? Were all those shared moments real? You deserve someone who will show up, not just in the big moments, but in the small ones too. Someone who will be a rock, not just when it's easy, but when it's hard. Someone who will see you, truly see you, even when it's inconvenient. Disappointment from a friend is a wound, yes. But like all wounds, it has the potential to heal, to leave you stronger on the other side. It forces you to reevaluate, to look at the relationships in your life with clear eyes. And sometimes, it pushes you to find friendships that are even deeper, more meaningful than you ever thought possible. Disappointment cuts deep when it comes from a close friend.

Even Jesus experienced this when Judas betrayed Him. Yet, Jesus teaches us to respond with grace and forgiveness, embodying love even in pain. Lean on God during these moments, for He understands your hurt and will provide comfort. Pray for strength to forgive and trust His plan. Rest assured, though people may fail, God’s love never will. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Find peace in Him. Disappointment from a close friend cuts deep, doesn’t it? Even Jesus experienced this when Judas betrayed Him. Yet, in His pain, Jesus chose grace and forgiveness. Disappointments may come, but God’s unwavering love and faithfulness remain. Trust Him to guide you through and bring peace to your spirit.

Advice From Someone That Loves You:

I want you to feel the ache of disappointment, but realize it's not the end.  I want you to feel the weight of the fractured bond and realize sometimes it’s time to move on. Please don't let disappointment define you. Instead, let it be a catalyst for growth, for finding the friendships that will lift you up, not drag you down. Because in the end, that's what true friendship is about. Not perfection, but a shared journey, a mutual lifting up, even in the face of disappointment. You have known what it’s like to be disappointed by a friend.  Your job now, it to make sure that you are not the person that disappoints others if you can possibly keep from doing it. You won’t always be able to help people when and how they want.  Sometimes what people want from you will not be in your best interest.  I hope the disappointment you have learned will help you make the right decision.

And if you are currently feeling like your trust has been broken–you’re not alone. We’ve all been there. The pain may not fade as quickly as we’d like, but in time, you’ll find moments to laugh about again, build new bridges, and deepen the ones that truly matter. 

Hang in there! Your heart? It’ll heal. And when it does, it’ll make room for even more beautiful, authentic connections.  Being disappointed by a close friend has happened to us all.  And it does hurt.

I HOPE YOU HAVE LEARNED

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The Embarrassment Of Being Chosen Last

There's a particular sting to being chosen last. Most everyone has experienced it. You know that moment. The one where you’re standing there, pretending not to care, hoping to be picked before you're the last person awkwardly lingering during a classroom or pick-up game selection. Everyone’s eyeing up the best choices, and meanwhile, you’re staring at your shoes wondering if invisibility really is your