Love Like This: A God Written Love Story

Synopsis

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ove Like This is a one of a kind story indeed. It’s because God loves me so much that He decided to write a love story just for me, He had to show me love in this manner. He chose to send me a love that represented His love and faithfulness for and to me.  God has chosen to teach me through this connection how to look deep within myself and identify with love in it’s purest form. With this love, I was forced to identify my pain, face my fears and triggers, and deal with my personal matters first hand and heal. I would find myself wondering a lot what the purpose of this connection is or was? And no matter how much I would ponder, or from what angle I looked at it, I’d continue to conclude that it was God’s doing. It was sort of like God coming in the flesh again, and no I’m not trying to be funny or reference as if I’m comparing this matter or him (Henry) to Jesus in any way, but it’s like God was showing me the love that I needed through this man, a love that influenced and inspired me to get it right, to get my life right!

Love Like This is not a typical love story!  I excitedly wanted to share my experiences, a love that caused me to reflect on my past, on my traumas, etc. And go within and see or face what I had been running from and obviously what I had been afraid of for years, and when I did I ultimately healed! Y’all know how we say that God works in mysterious ways? Well, after experiencing something so phenomenal, which has me so in awe, I am certainly convinced that this could only be God!

The lessons that I learned, the blessings and gifts that has me realizing my purpose, I am happily and eagerly walking this path, even more ready now to share my story, and also help others…..

I always knew that I was on a journey to something great from long ago, but I was distracted by fear, I was distracted by confusion. I was held back, I procrastinated, I wasn’t living my truth to the fullest - and to be honest I was scared to do so. I know that I’m supposed to be reaching out to people more, I know that I’m not supposed to be living and trapped in a shell, and refusing to let my light shine. I am supposed to be impacting and influencing others around me. So, God had to do something in me to shake some things up. He had to get my attention and turn me around and break those chains. Fear had me so bound, I literally felt like I was in chains, it took something that I never thought possible, or even seen happening to or for me. I didn’t realize certain things, and how I was so subconsciously fearful and how it affected many other things in my life, for instance when it came to my progress and success. I would often listen to TD Jakes, I’d stay prayed up, meditate, and do many other things that helped my growth. And after a while of being stunted by mental traumas and breakdowns, depression from the loss of family members, and a life altering injury, it happened all of a sudden -out of the blue…..

The sudden change happened when that person that God sent into my life had me up on my feet and ready to live again, ready to brave it out, I was even led to writing again. See, I had written a few books in my past, but due to fear and other challenges they weren’t very successful, thus causing me to lose confidence, etc. And I procrastinated when it came to writing again, I put my dreams on the back burner. But my passion for writing never really died, it was just on hold, and I never knew exactly when I would try again. I always felt that writing was part of my purpose. I always knew that God had more for me, but I had to let go of my insecurities and limitations. When I met this wonderful man is when it all became so clear to me, it was like God was saying it was time. Not only to write again, but to heal! He put the pen back into my hand, as well He put courage back into my heart (I am a Leo, so literally I was a lion without courage-like on the Wizard of Oz) lol. They say when you’re not looking for love, it seems to out of the blue mysteriously fall into your lap. And just like that God did it for me! And now I’m focused and more eager to move forward in life. Allow me to share my experiences by way of sharing with you all this love story that God wrote for me! Love Like This…..

Other than learning the valuable lessons of bravery, confidence and healing, I’ve learned to be more patient, more humble, more understanding, and submissive. And surprisingly, I am honored to be submissive however, I used to look at being submissive as a bad thing, I would usually be against the idea and thought of anyone (particularly a man) being in control of me, but being submissive isn’t exactly what we’ve been traditionally taught. The Bible says that wives should be submissive to their husbands, and to me being submissive is another form of being humble, it makes for better unity in my book! I hear God saying that I couldn’t learn if I didn’t pay attention, I couldn’t change if I stayed stuck in my fear, and I would never be ready if I didn’t give it a try. I’m glad that I gave love a try, love like this, I really hope that you as my readers enjoy this read/book, and get the proper understanding and message in love, healing, and transformation, prayerfully it will help you on your journeys, as you fulfill your purpose - and speaking of purpose it was purposed for you to get a copy of this book, which is why you’re reading it in the first place, perhaps God has something here for you too.....

Table of Contents

Synopsis

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1.  Serendipity....

Chapter 2.  Love at First Date....

Chapter 3.  Cabin Fever....

Chapter 4.  Beautiful is his name....

Chapter 5.  What’s our song?

Chapter 6.  Thanking God for You....

Chapter 7.  Desperate or Not....

Chapter 8.  Out of the Blue....

Chapter 9.  Reminiscing....

Chapter 10.  Abracadabra....

Chapter 11.  You invited me in....

Chapter 12.  The Distance....

Chapter 13.  Focused....

Chapter 14.  Thinking about you....

Chapter 15.  I feel your pain....

Chapter 16.  Helpmate....

Chapter 17.  Adore You....

Chapter 18.  At This Point....

Chapter 19.  Operation give it a try....

Chapter 20.  I Can’t Make This Up....

Chapter 21.  Stop Running....

Chapter 22.  Happy Healing  (Valentine’s Day)....

Chapter 23.  Let Go and Let God....

Chapter 23.  At Last....

Chapter 24.  Joyce Meyer

Chapter 25.  TD Jakes....

Chapter 26.  Stop The Press, Stop The Press....

Chapter 27.  When God Says Wait....

Chapter 28.  Before I let you go....

Acknowledgments

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want to first and foremost thank my God! It’s obviously self explanatory, I have so much to be grateful for. I could never do anything without my God, it’s His hand that guides me and continues to bring me through, all praises and thanks go to THE MOST HIGH GOD! I want to thank Henry Smith for being super supportive, for encouraging me and motivating me to move forward and follow my dreams, to pursue my goals, etc. You’re definitely a friend indeed, but again, it would not be possible without our God, and I thank Him for allowing us to meet. I would like to thank my mom for all that she has done, especially giving me life (birthing me), Joan Wheeler, Danielle Thai, Shemea, James Morgan, etc. thanks to you all for your support and believing in me. Whether or not I met you in person, thank you all for your support as well (online support, etc.).  Shout out to The iNNERG READER (you’re so dope, I love listening to your messages, and picking up on your energy, which is so Divine) thank you. Big shout out to my brother @Ybizzle444 (you know I’m talking to you) lol. All the many people who inspired me and offered enlightenment through their content and more;

(@dailyinspire_67/Denzel Washington), @StephanSpeaks, @rheno, @shetalkschrist, @waterstarvibes, @TDJakes, @pastormike, @godordained342, (@divineempresstarot333), (@sealztheman), and many more I thank you.....

Chapter 1.

Serendipity....

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t happened when I wasn’t even looking my best, in fact I was looking like a mess in my opinion, yaw know the moms that pops up at the school with the rollers in her head look? I had on some raggedy stretch pants, raggedy wig, etc. I wasn’t really in the mood or mindset to attract the attention of a man lol, like I said I was a mess. I saw him when he drove into my parking lot, this huge white SUV, driving slowly as it pulls in to park. I didn’t look twice, because again I wasn’t looking so hot, so I didn’t feel confident enough to even be nosey and peek into the window to see who was driving. I’m not too big on flashy cars anyway, not since my younger days, besides I might have appeared to be  materialistic, and I’m not. But yaw know how some females get the chicken neck syndrome, lol.  Back in my day they teased and called them a car booty or a wheel watcher lol. So, I continued to walk past as he was parking, which at that point I didn’t know if it was male or female driving the truck, like I said- I didn’t even look twice. I had just ordered my Lyft - my ride to go to the grocery store, I went and sat on the bench to wait for my ride to arrive. And Just as I was about to wrap my ankle with the bandage he pulled up on the side of me. I had sprang my ankle earlier that month, and I was wearing an ace bandage. I didn’t want to miss my ride as I put it on while I was in the house, so I decided to put it on while I was outside waiting. He pulled up and asked me what was I up to, and given that I was a total mess I could only think one thing, he thinks I’m a street girl or whatever and he wants to go and have some quick fun, lol. I had to get puffed up in order to act like I had an attitude, because I didn’t want him thinking that it was so sweet and easy to get me into his car. I was thinking to myself like ‘oh no’ don’t do me, just because I look raggedy that don’t mean I’m one of these street girls or whatever, yaw know the kind lol. I remember rolling my eyes as I responded but I couldn’t even  appear to be so hard up lol,  it was something about his voice, he didn’t sound offensive, but again you never know. So, I attempted to keep my guards up and I sternly said; I’m on my way to the grocery store! Hoping that if he was on some bs, that I would have turned him away with my words or the way that I answered him. That didn’t work, this man is persistent I thought, because the next thing out of his mouth was, I’ll  take you! Ok so, my defense mode kicked in a little stronger, because now I’m thinking that he thinks because he’s in a big nice and shiny vehicle looking like money, that I’m gonna just hop in the car with him- and boom that’s it, he thinks he can make his move on me and ask me about getting him off once he takes me to the store, it was just all kinds of scenarios playing out in my head lol. I was a little irritated too, because I literally thought this man was up to no good, and I didn’t want no parts of what he was offering. I could have been right, but I guess I’ll never know at this point, however God had other plans. Anyway, I refused that offer, and I told him that I had ordered a ride already and that I was ok, he insisted on me cancelling the ride and allow him to take me instead. Needless to say I refused the offer again, and coincidentally in sync we said it at the same time about exchanging numbers. So, I slightly limped over to his truck (which was only about a foot away from the bench where I was sitting), because I don’t really like to yell out my personal info. Anyway, we introduce ourselves to each other by name, and exchanged numbers, and as soon as we did his friend came out to meet and talk with him, as well my ride pulled up.......

Chapter 2.

Love at First Date....

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o, I go on my day contemplating if I really should call this guy? What if he’s only out to get something? That one thing (yaw know what Lauren Hill said) lol. So, my fear said no don’t call him, it was pretty tempting though because he was quite mysterious to me, but in a good way. I was curious to find out what was behind that smooth talking, well mannered, handsome man. He was charming as ever, and I was very intrigued. A few hours later, lol  like they say on SpongeBob, anyway a few hours later, after I tell myself that he’s on bs and I can’t trust it/him, I find myself going back and forth contemplating should I call him, should I not? Etc. So, just as I had decided that I wasn’t gonna call him-surprisingly he called me. I was excited for a brief moment but instantly my guards shot up, I thought ok, that’s how it is, they be persistent to get what they want. Even though I put up my guard, at the same time I was still interested, I wanted to know more! But I knew that I would need to take my time and not just jump at him and on him, patience I said to myself! I was in my season for practicing patience, but I was still struggling with trust, and probably rightfully so. Because again I didn’t know his angle. When he called we spoke on the phone for a while, and then he said that he wanted to take me out on a date, I said what? I was shocked to hear him say that, I was Like who talks like that? But that is what attracted me even more, I instantly knew that he was different. Unfortunately I still had doubts, because I still had my guard up, so even though I knew it was something about him that made me want more of him or at least learn more. I was still scared or worried. But the only thing left to do was trust and give it a try. So we had our first date later that night. And while we were out we had a good time conversing and getting to know each other, at least I know I enjoyed myself and seemingly he enjoyed himself too. He told me before we went out that he had a handicap, and I had a warm feeling about him sharing that with me, I knew I wouldn’t judge him, and I knew that it wouldn’t be a problem with me. Anyway, parts of our conversations and us getting to know each other is when he told me how he became paralyzed. It was that truth which got me, I fell for him even more at that moment. He told me about how he struggled in his past, and some pretty bad decisions that he had made that contributed to his physical disability. I have said it many times before how I am a sucker for an overcomer, alchemy, alchemist, taking your pain and turning it into power. Although I had fallen for him, I still had my guard up, but we’ll get to that. And that’s how people, that is how I fell in love at first date......

For the next week I felt so good and important, I actually felt desired,but of course the enemy didn’t like that much at all. So of course he had some stumbling blocks and issues for me ahead. Even though each morning he would text me when he got off work, and later at night he would call me and stay on the phone with me for at least an hour or more at times, also at times he would call just to check on me to see how I was doing. So, honestly he was giving me strong vibes of being a good guy, but yet I was still learning him and if he said something or did something to trigger my insecurity or distrust I would pull back. I was on a mental rollercoaster, battling within not sure what to trust but still wanting to move forward, it was really tough. To be honest, he was giving me player vibes, but I was so intrigued and attracted to him and I wanted more, only time would tell how much more I would get.....

Chapter 3.

Cabin Fever....

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espite us talking on the phone a lot and getting better acquainted I was still afraid and worried- but I will be honest, something in me wanted to just jump his bones lol, but I definitely had to behave because I wanted more. Yaw know the saying, if you want something different you have to try something different or do things differently from what you always did. Well to be honest I was always a fool rushing in, I was always looking for love in the wrong places, and when it looked like love or the real thing I was easily manipulated and led astray. So, I wanted to take my time and do it right/differently. My past had taught me some things, strangely enough it built up fear in me, but I guess fear can sometimes be a good thing though too huh? He would always mention me going to his house, rather he invited me often, and I would always refuse, I was afraid that he would try to take advantage of me if we went to his house. I was just very reluctant. Until one day when we were about to get on the road to take a short trip out of town that we had planned. He had told me that he was meeting up with his brother in Wisconsin Dells for the weekend to celebrate his brother’s birthday, and he had invited me to come along. I accepted because I was definitely overdue for some fun. I didn’t mention it but at the time that Henry came into my life (when we met), I was coming back above water (recovering), I had just gone through a long spell of depression and a traumatic reality. I had just recently lost one brother the year before, and then another one about a month before I met him (Henry). Not to mention my ankle was messed up and it affected my independence, I couldn’t walk, I was bound to a wheelchair and so messed up, I was angry and hurt all over again. I needed a smile on my face and in my heart. And out of the blue it came and met me at the bench in my parking lot....

Anyway, he had come to get me from my house and he suddenly remembered that he had to get something from his house, lol. I said this man is not gonna stop until he gets me to his house, and since we were about to leave town I finally agreed to go. I didn’t expect it would be harmful anyhow, so let’s go! Oh wow, check him out I thought! He really wanted me to see his crib, his beautiful condo decked out to the T, nice nice bachelor pad, I gotta give it to him. When I saw that I couldn’t help but wrestle again, wrestle with thoughts in my head, he wanted me to see his place and I get so mesmerized, and I would end up giving him what he wants, I couldn’t help but think that it’s another tactic, assuming that it had worked for others, other females that are possibly materialistic or gold diggers, etc, but I’m not, and I won’t judge! It was just more ammo (if you will) to make me more applaudable, proud of him, and attracted to  him. To see that he was doing well for himself it made me much prouder of him, and what do ya know? God used that to influence me and my drive, saying that I too could do it, he made me want to do it, seeing his place and his accomplishments inspired me. We ended up grabbing what he had forgotten and we left. We ended up in the Dells and checked into our hotel room, and we waited for his brother and his wife to arrive. It was a surprise for his brother though, his brother was totally oblivious that he would see Henry that night, it was so endearing to me. I’m just a mushy person lol. While we were waiting for the rest of the people to arrive, me and Henry went out to eat dinner, I am always so shy around him, even to this day, I never felt this way before. Anyway, we made it back to the hotel room and his sister in law called his cellphone to let him know that they had arrived. It was funny and cute, me and Henry went to their room door and knocked, he stood back and told me to act like house keeping, etc. I did and when his brother opened the door I stepped back and Henry stepped up, oh my God! They stood in the doorway for about 5 minutes staring into each other’s face, the disbelief on the brother’s face was priceless, it’s like they hadn’t seen each other for years. It was so beautiful to me, and the sight of that alone helped me to let down my guards even more. I saw more good human qualities in him, I saw that he was an emotionally attached and thoughtful person he has love written all over him, he’s not a creep, I could trust him, and I did! As Henry and his brother were talking and getting caught up on things, I had stepped into the room and met the rest of the family members who had come down with the brother (his brother’s wife, her daughter and her daughter’s husband), so altogether it was 6 of us, 3 couples hanging out for the weekend. It was a nice gathering of us, and I was excitedly looking forward to having some fun with them all, which also got me excited a bit. Don’t ask me why, but it’s something about the human or the nature of  the human anatomy, when we get excited, it does something to the adrenaline, and we could get hyper, horny, anxious, panicky, or whatever, depending on the circumstances. In my case, it drew me closer to Henry. I was ready for him. I was actually ready to "jump