DON'T CONFUSE AUTHORITY WITH LEADERSHIP: Develop The Art of Influence

DON’T CONFUSE

AUTHORITY

WITH

LEADERSHIP

Develop the Art of Influence

DR. SONYA SMITH-WATSON

Copyright © 2025 Dr. Sonya Smith-Watson

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying, without permission of the publisher or author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission from the publisher or author.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One: The Love of Learning

Chapter Two: You Grow What You Nurture

Chapter Three: My First Year and Finding Purpose

Chapter Four: Learning to Lead

Chapter Five: Grace and Resilience Isn’t Always Easy

Chapter Six: Sacrificial Lamb Syndrome

Chapter Seven: Building a Culture of Empowerment

Meet the Author

Introduction

Leadership isn’t just something I do—it’s who I am. It’s as natural to me as breathing, and if you know me, you know that leading with love, passion, and purpose has always been at the heart of my journey. However, if I’m being honest, I never really stopped to think about what made my leadership style different until someone else pointed it out.

An innocuous conversation with Chandra Lanier—a devoted parent, my sorority sister, and the woman who saw something in me before I even put it into words—changed everything. As an elementary school principal, I poured my heart into my students and their families every single day, believing that leadership wasn’t about running a school—it was about nurturing a community.

One day, Chandra looked at me and said, Sonya, leadership isn’t just your job—it’s who you are. That simple statement stayed with me. It made me reflect on the countless moments where leadership wasn’t about policies, procedures, or titles, but about people—about loving them, lifting them up, and helping them see their own greatness. I promised Chandra that I would one day write a book about my leadership ideologies to help other leaders. With that said, I thank you, my dear Soror Lanier, for holding me to it and seeing the compassion in my leadership.

And so, this book was born—not just from my experiences, but from the incredible people who have shaped my leadership journey. Before I go any further, I have to take a moment to thank those who have been my foundation, my joy, and my motivation.

First and foremost, my daughter, Arika—you are the absolute best gift God ever blessed me with. Thank you for always loving me unconditionally, through every season of your life. I am so incredibly proud of the young woman you are, and I am blessed to watch your evolution each year. You make my heart smile in ways words can’t describe.

To my parents, Prince and Judy Smith—your unwavering encouragement and support through both the pitfalls and the celebrations have meant everything to me. You have been remarkable parents, and I pray that I have made you proud.

To my built-in best friends—my siblings, Tamela, Eric, and Ken—you inspire, uplift, and keep me motivated every single day. You are my protectors and confidantes for life. I am grateful to be your little sister, even if you all still think you can boss me around! To my cousins—who were raised as my additional siblings and best friends—thank you for the endless laughs and for the closeness that was forged on those long Alabama roads. Those childhood memories are priceless, and our bond is unbreakable. I am sure Grandma is so proud of us all.

And let’s not forget my ride-or-die best friends, always-have-my-back partners, and bonus sisters for life—Katrina, Shaundra, Valinda, Kelly, Jamena, Dawn, Karolyn, Erika, Colette, Angela, and Dana. You all are more than friends; you are family, and I love you for the unwavering sisterhood that keeps me grounded, laughing, and thriving.

Lastly, thank you to every student, parent, leader, colleague, and community member who has entrusted me with a role in their journey. I am honored to have walked alongside you, to have learned with you, and to have grown because of you. May we continue to uplift, inspire, and lead together as we positively impact the world.

Now, let’s get to it—because leadership isn’t about the title, it’s about the legacy.

The distinction between authority and leadership is crucial for anyone navigating the complexities of organizational dynamics or personal growth. Authority is often derived from a position or title that grants an individual the power to make decisions and enforce rules. It is bestowed upon someone by an external source, such as a company or governing body, and can be wielded regardless of whether the individual possesses the qualities of a true leader.

Leadership, on the other hand, is characterized by the ability to inspire, influence, and guide others through a shared vision and mutual respect. A true leader earns the trust and admiration of their followers through empathy, integrity, and the ability to motivate and empower their team. While authority can compel compliance, leadership fosters commitment and engagement, creating a more sustainable and harmonious environment. Understanding this distinction can help individuals develop more effective and ethical approaches to leadership, regardless of their formal position.

In writing this book, I chose to share my own transformational leadership journey to illustrate the power of influence over authority. Leadership is not merely about position or title—it is about the ability to inspire, empower, and cultivate growth in others. By leading through influence, I was able to build trust, foster collaboration, and develop other leaders who, in turn, became catalysts for change. My journey serves as a testament to the idea that true leadership is not about commanding compliance but about igniting a shared vision and guiding others toward their fullest potential. Through the strategies outlined in this book, my goal is to