How to cope with toxic leadership
It begins subtly. A dismissive comment here, an unrealistic deadline there. Over time, the pattern solidifies.
You realize you’re under the leadership of a toxic manager. One who controls through fear, manipulates, and thrives in a culture of blame.
The psychological weight is undeniable, and what often remains unseen is the profound impact this stress has on your brain chemistry, immune system, and long-term well-being.
A. The impact of a threatening work environment
A toxic manager can create a chronic threat state. That is why, your brain, particularly the amygdala (the emotional alarm center), begins to stay on high alert.
1. Cortisol dysregulation
Cortisol, the primary stress hormone, is secreted in response to perceived threats. Under normal conditions, it helps you focus, stay alert, and react swiftly.
However, prolonged exposure due to chronic stress from a toxic manager causes cortisol dysregulation. This can lead to forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating, and increased emotional reactivity.
2. Dopamine and serotonin imbalance
Dopamine, the reward and motivation neurotransmitter, begins to drop as the brain no longer associates work with pleasure or progress.
Meanwhile, serotonin, the chemical responsible for mood stability, also declines, contributing to feelings of helplessness and even depression.
3. Norepinephrine and hypervigilance
Exposure to constant criticism or unpredictability from a toxic leader increases norepinephrine levels. This keeps the body in a hypervigilant state.
Over time, you may develop symptoms such as anxiety, panic attacks, or even insomnia.
Your nervous system is simply too stimulated to "power down."
B. The immune system takes a hit
The impact of a toxic work environment isn’t just mental. It’s profoundly physical.
Chronic stress suppresses the immune system in several key ways:
Inflammation: Elevated cortisol initially suppresses inflammation, but chronic exposure flips the switch. Your body begins to generate pro-inflammatory cytokines, which are linked to heart disease, autoimmune disorders, and even cancer.
Reduced white blood cells: Stress hormones reduce lymphocyte production, your body’s first line of defense against infection. This means frequent colds, prolonged illnesses, and a generally compromised ability to recover.
Gut-brain axis disruption: Stress from toxic leadership also disrupts gut microbiota, which play a significant role in mood regulation and immunity. An imbalance here contributes to both physical illness and mental health struggles like depression and anxiety.
Employees with toxic managers often report:
Decreased self-worth and confidence
Fear of speaking up or making mistakes
Impostor syndrome and self-doubt
Emotional exhaustion and depersonalization (key signs of burnout)
These aren't just subjective experiences. They’re expressions of a system that has been pushed to its physiological and psychological limits.
c. Practical solutions for coping
You may not be able to leave your job right now, and that's okay.
What you can do is implement protective strategies to buffer the impact.
1. Psychological reframing
While you can't control your manager's behavior, you can control how you interpret it.
Cognitive-behavioral strategies can help:
Name the behavior, not the person: "This is manipulative behavior" vs. "They’re evil".
Refocus on your values: "I’m here to grow, not to internalize toxicity".
Externalize blame: "Their behavior is a reflection of them, not of my worth or ability".
Engaging in this reframing helps activate the prefrontal cortex, the rational part of your brain, and deactivates the amygdala’s threat response.
2. Activate the parasympathetic nervous system
You need daily practices to counterbalance the constant activation of your sympathetic (fight-or-flight) system. Do these:
Box breathing (4-4-4-4) for 5 minutes after meetings.
Mindful walking during lunch breaks.
Progressive muscle relaxation before bed.
These actions stimulate the vagus nerve, helping to lower heart rate, reduce cortisol, and stabilize mood.
3. Build a circle of psychological safety
Toxicity isolates. Make it your mission to connect:
Find allies in your department or elsewhere in the company.
Start a 'safe chat' group, even informal daily check-ins help.
Engage in regular peer debriefing, where you talk about stressful interactions and get perspective.
This social buffer significantly reduces stress and helps regulate your limbic system, especially the areas responsible for threat detection.
4. Microboundaries with macro impact
Boundaries are not just physical. They’re emotional and temporal.
Delay responses to non-urgent toxic messages. This gives your system time to regulate.
Limit exposure by structuring your calendar to include “focus blocks” where you’re unavailable.
Use 'gray rock' technique in conversations. Be neutral, non-reactive, and unengaged with emotional baiting.
This preserves your emotional energy and reduces unnecessary cortisol spikes.
5. Nourish the brain and body
Food, sleep, and movement are not luxuries. They’re medicine.
Eat for brain health: omega-3 fatty acids, magnesium, and foods like bananas, and dark chocolate.
Exercise daily, even 20 minutes of walking, to reduce inflammation and improve neurotransmitter balance.
Prioritize sleep hygiene: protect your sleep like your life depends on it, because it does. Consistent sleep restores neurotransmitter levels and helps with emotional regulation.
Enduring a toxic manager is not a sign of weakness, it’s a complex dance between professional needs and personal boundaries. However, staying doesn’t mean surrendering.
Understanding the deep neurological and physiological effects allows you to be intentional about building resilience from the inside out.
You may not change your manager, but you can change how your brain and body respond. And that, ultimately, is the most powerful kind of leadership there is: self-leadership.
Thank you for joining me on this journey to unlock your full potential and turn it into real-world value. I hope that the tips and insights in this newsletter have been helpful in your personal and professional life.
If you feel that you are at a crossroad in your life, I would be happy to offer you coaching sessions to discuss your goals and how to achieve them. Remember, success is not a destination but a journey, and we're here to support you every step of the way.
So until next time, stay focused, stay motivated, and keep working towards your dreams! Elena Badea.