The silent deal maker or deal breaker in business

Imagine this: You're a brilliant expert in your field. You've launched your own business, crafted the perfect service or product based on your passion ... and yet the clients just aren’t coming.

Or worse: they come, but they don’t stay. You’re exhausted, puzzled, maybe even questioning your worth.

Now pause. What if the problem isn’t your product, your pricing, or your pitch? What if the real bottleneck is… your identity?

Yes, you read that right. Not your business card. Not your elevator pitch.

Your internal identity, specifically how you see yourself, what roles you accept, and which ones you unconsciously reject.

Welcome to one of the most overlooked success factors in business.

Expertise ≠ Business growth

Most entrepreneurs start a business because they’re good at something. Marketing. Engineering. Coaching. Law. Baking gluten-free cupcakes that make angels weep with joy.

So they open shop. They expect that because they’re excellent at what they do, the world will come knocking.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

Because running a business isn’t just about doing the work, it’s about getting the work.

And that’s where most people hit the wall.

They still think of themselves as experts, not salespersons. And that subtle rejection of the “salesperson” identity costs them not just money, but momentum, confidence, and often their dream.

Take Laura, a digital marketing consultant who built stunning campaigns for international brands. When she started her own agency, she expected word of mouth to do the job.

It didn’t. Instead of pitching, she waited. Instead of following up, she hoped. Why? Because “selling” felt… beneath her. “I’m not a salesperson,” she would say. “I’m a strategist.”

You can guess how that turned out.

The identity gap that sabotages you

This is the silent killer in business: the identity gap between who you need to be and who you allow yourself to be.

Let’s get real. At this point, you need to accept that unless you own the identity of someone who can promote, influence, and convert, you’re running uphill with the brakes on.

Here’s what identity-sabotage sounds like:

• “I’m not a natural at selling”.

• “I don’t want to seem pushy”.

• “People should see the value by themselves”.

• “I just want to do the work, not chase clients”.

Translation? “I haven’t made peace with the idea that selling is part of who I must become”.

Even worse, this internal rejection becomes visible. Clients sense it. You sound uncertain, tentative, indirect.

Your body language doesn’t match your words. You use passive phrases like “maybe we could…” or “I just wanted to check…” and wonder why no one takes action.

People don’t buy from experts. They buy from people who own their identity as value creators and confidently ask for commitment.

Expand, integrate, and coach your identity

So how do we fix this?

Here’s the truth: You don’t have to “fake it” until you become a smooth closer. But you do have to expand your identity. You need to go from rigid (I’m just a consultant) to flexible (I’m a consultant and a salesperson and a business leader).

And that requires three steps:

1. Identify your default role and its limits

Start by asking yourself: What role do I most identify with in my business? What roles do I avoid or downplay?

Maybe you’re the Creator, always building. Or the Expert, always explaining. Or the Operator, keeping everything running.

That’s fine, but if “Salesperson” or “Closer” isn’t even in your inner circle, that’s your red flag.

Exercise: For one week, write down every time you avoid a selling behavior. Didn’t follow up? Didn’t ask for the sale? Didn’t mention your offer at a networking event? Note it.

The pattern will reveal which part of your identity needs attention.

2. Integrate the identity of the Value Communicator

Let’s clear something up: Selling done right is not manipulation. It’s clarity.

The “salesperson” is not the sleazy figure trying to offload bad merchandise.

The modern seller is the Value Communicator: the one who makes it easy for the client to understand, choose, and act.

This requires a mindset shift:

🧠 From: “I’m bothering them.” ✅ To: “I’m helping them decide.”

🧠 From: “They might say no.” ✅ To: “They can’t say yes unless I offer.”

🧠 From: “What if I sound salesy?” ✅ To: “What if they miss the opportunity that could change their business?”

You don’t need to shout louder. You just need to believe stronger.

3. Coach your identity through micro-actions

Here’s where the transformation happens: Not through theory, but through consistent action.

Every time you send a follow-up, ask a closing question, or offer a proposal, you are telling your nervous system: “This is who I am now.”

Identity is shaped not by affirmation, but by repetition.

Coaching accelerates this, because a good coach holds the mirror, challenges your blind spots, and celebrates the small wins that build your new self-perception.

If you’ve ever wondered why athletes, top CEOs, and elite performers all have coaches, this is it. They’re not just getting strategy. They’re getting identity alignment.

Final thoughts

In business, identity is the operating system. You can install all the strategies and tactics in the world, but if your system says “I’m not a salesperson,” nothing runs right.

The irony? The more you resist this identity, the more you need it.

So next time you're tempted to say “I’m not a salesperson,” ask yourself this:

Do you want to feel safe, or do you want to succeed?

Because real growth comes when you’re willing to expand who you are to become who your business needs.

And that, my friend, is the identity that seals the deal.

Thank you for joining me on this journey to unlock your full potential and turn it into real-world value. I hope that the tips and insights in this newsletter have been helpful in your personal and professional life.

If you feel that you are at a crossroad in your life, I would be happy to offer you coaching sessions to discuss your goals and how to achieve them. Remember, success is not a destination but a journey, and we're here to support you every step of the way.

So until next time, stay focused, stay motivated, and keep working towards your dreams! Elena Badea.