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My Secret Life Vol 11

In 18— my oldest friend died. We had been at school and college together, and our intimacy had never been broken. I was trustee for his wife and executor at his death. He died of a lingering illness, during which his hopes of living were alternately raised, and depressed. Two years before he died, he gave me a huge parcel carefully tied up and sealed. Take care of, but don't open this he said: if I get better, return it to me, if I die, let no mortal eye but yours see it, and burn it. His widow died a year after him. I had well nigh forgoten this packet which I had had full three years, when looking for some title deeds I came cross it, and opened it, as it was my duty to do. Its contents astonished me. The more I read it, the more marvellous it seemed. I pondered long on the meaning of his instructions when he gave it to me, and kept the manuscript some years, hesitating what to do with it. At length I came to the conclusion knowing his idiosyncracy well, that his fear was only lest any one should know who the writer was; and feeling that it would be sinful to destroy such a history, I copied the manuscript and destroyed the original. He died relationless. No one now can trace the author, no names are mentioned in the book, though they were given freely in the margin of his manuscript, and I alone know to whom the initials refer. If I have done harm in printing it, I have done none to him, have indeed only carried out his evident intention, and given to a few a secret history, which bears the impress of truth on every page, a contribution to psychology.

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Gian Luigi
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100% found this document useful (2 votes)
595 views107 pages

My Secret Life Vol 11

In 18— my oldest friend died. We had been at school and college together, and our intimacy had never been broken. I was trustee for his wife and executor at his death. He died of a lingering illness, during which his hopes of living were alternately raised, and depressed. Two years before he died, he gave me a huge parcel carefully tied up and sealed. Take care of, but don't open this he said: if I get better, return it to me, if I die, let no mortal eye but yours see it, and burn it. His widow died a year after him. I had well nigh forgoten this packet which I had had full three years, when looking for some title deeds I came cross it, and opened it, as it was my duty to do. Its contents astonished me. The more I read it, the more marvellous it seemed. I pondered long on the meaning of his instructions when he gave it to me, and kept the manuscript some years, hesitating what to do with it. At length I came to the conclusion knowing his idiosyncracy well, that his fear was only lest any one should know who the writer was; and feeling that it would be sinful to destroy such a history, I copied the manuscript and destroyed the original. He died relationless. No one now can trace the author, no names are mentioned in the book, though they were given freely in the margin of his manuscript, and I alone know to whom the initials refer. If I have done harm in printing it, I have done none to him, have indeed only carried out his evident intention, and given to a few a secret history, which bears the impress of truth on every page, a contribution to psychology.

Uploaded by

Gian Luigi
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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VOLUME 11

MY SECRET LIFE

Chapter I Edith the frisky. My bedroo . E!hibitio" of a stiff pri#k. E!hibitio" of a b$eedi"% #&"t. My re%rets. 'e!t day(s a &se e"ts. ) *eek(s *ork. +epart&re. Edith(s %rief. ,er history part$y. Edith *as a #o p$ete p&--$e to e. +oes she f&#k or fri% herse$f. or p$ay *ith *o e"(s #&"ts. has she a"y #&"ta$ defe#t/ She $ooks se"s&o&s fro eyes to o&th. she($$ ta$k o" se!&a$ s&b0e#ts free$y b&t i" a odest sort of *ay. yet *o"(t $et e fee$ her. Is she %a ah&#hed by *o e"/ She(d $ooked $o"% at the $ast photo. These tho&%hts passed thro y i"d a"d that she had Sapphi# tastes *as y #o"#$&sio". +ressi"% for di""er. I deter i"ed o" a bo$d atte pt. O&r seats *ere side by side. a"d *he" di""er *as "ear$y o1er. I did *hat I(1e do"e. to ha$f a do-e" *o e". p&t y ha"d &"der the tab$e #$oth 2 *hi#h happe"ed to be 0&st $o"% e"o&%h to #o1er it 2 a"d pressed her #$othes a%ai"st her be$$y as "ear her #&"t as I #o&$d. She $ooked at e hard. a"d 0&st the" a %e"t$e a" o" the other side of her spoke 2 she rep$ied. a"d the" 3&iet$y p&t her ha"d do*" a"d p&shed i"e a*ay. *itho&t &tteri"% a *ord. b&t $ooki"% at e i"te"t$y. )fter di""er *e sat a*hi$e i" the readi"% roo . She ade "o a$$&sio" to *hat I(d do"e. 4I &st %o to Ma a. 2 Le"d e the .4 2 I ref&sed tho she be%%ed hard. a"d at $e"%th she a%reed to #o e to y roo . after y ref&si"% ost positi1e$y. 4I($$ sit *ith Ma a a 3&arter of a" ho&r first.4 2 I %ot #ha pa%"e i" y roo . a"d i" t*e"ty i"&tes. she *as *ith e. She(d to$d Ma a she *as %oi"% to the readi"% roo to #hat *ith so e $adies. The" she s i$ed. $ooki"% f&$$ i" y eyes. I sei-ed a"d kissed her rapt&ro&s$y praisi"% her bea&ty. a"d she per itted it. I s#ar#e$y e!pe#ted her. a"d had reso$1ed if she #a e to &se "o ore hi"ts a"d de$i#ate phrases. b&t to speak ba&di$y to the &t ost of y *a"ts. a"d of the p$eas&res of f&#ki"%5 to %et that p$eas&re if "othi"% f&rther. It de6$i%hts e to say the ba&diest to a odest o"d 3&asi6 odest *o a". They a$$ $ike it tho so e profess to be sho#ked. O" a $itt$e sofa by the tab$e *e sat side by side. She took #ha pa%"e. tho she rare$y dra"k *i"e. a"d I sho*ed the first photo. 2 4I *o"(t sho* yo& a"y ore &"$ess yo& $et e e!p$ai".4 2 4I do"(t *a"t it.4 2 47&t I *i$$.4 2 4'o.4 2 4,e(s ready to f&#k her. is"(t his pri#k stiff/ ,o* I e"1y the 2 $et &s do *hat they are %oi"% to do.4 She ade "o rep$y. 2 4,a1e yo& e1er bee" $i#ked so/4 said I sho*i"% the "e!t. 2 4Of #o&rse "ot.4 2 7&t she $ooked #o"f&sed. there *as so ethi"% i" her a""er *hat ade e fa"#y that that *as her $et#h. I *e"t o" e!hibiti"% a"d #o e"ti"% a"d e!p$ai"i"% i" the ba&diest *ords. *hi$st she kept si$e"#e. )t $e"%th she be%a" to dri"k #ha pa%"e as if "ot #o"s#io&s of *hat she *as doi"%. %ot e!#ited a"d be%a" to $a&%h a"d 3&estio". 2 4Mi"d. I( yo&r father4 a"d I kissed her a"d she kissed e. 2 4) pretty sort of pare"t.4 2 4) pretty da&%hter.4 2 4Look at papa(s pri#k.4 2 said I
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VOLUME 11

&"ab$e to restrai" yse$f a"y $o"%er. a"d p&$$ed it o&t. 4Fee$ it.4 2 4I( %oi"% to Ma a.4 2 4Fee$ it.4 2 4I &st %o to Ma a.4 She tried to rise. I stooped. feari"% to iss y opport&"ity. a"d %ot y ha"d &p her #$othes to her otte. 4Oh9 y :od9 2 $ea1e off.4 2 she s3&ea$ed o&t. a"d o&r 0oi"t o1e e"ts t&r"ed o1er the s$i%ht tab$e *ith the #ha pa%"e. the %$asses. a"d photos. o" to the f$oor. I he$d her ti%ht$y. i"si"&ati"% y fi"%ers bet*ee" her thi%hs a"d be%%i"% her to be 3&iet. 4They($$ hear i" the "e!t roo .4 2 She str&%%$ed si$e"t$y. 2 4Oh. yo& h&rt.4 2 I(d %ot a fi"%er o" to her #$itoris. 4Yo& *ret#h to do that. I *o&$d"(t ha1e be$ie1ed it.4 2 4I( ad$y i" $o1e *ith yo&. 2 Look.4 2 O&t #a e y pe%o. She $ooked e f&$$ i" the fa#e as I rose a"d f$o&rished y ere#tio". )%ai" she rose to %o as I sho*ed it. I p&shed her do*" a"d sat by her side. h&%%i"% her. be%%i"%. prayi"%. e"deari"%. 2 4;hat "o"se"se. dear.4 )$$ *as "o* #o"f&sio". 2 4I *o"(t $et yo& o&t.4 2 a"d %oi"% to the door took the key o&t. 4It(s a sha e to beha1e so.4 2 4My $o1e. "o o"e *i$$ k"o* b&t yo& a"d I. $et6 e.4 2 She shook her head. 2 4;e$$ $et e %a ah&#he yo&.4 4;hat(s that/4 2 said she 3&i#k$y. 2 4Yo& k"o*. $i#k yo&r #&"t to %i1e yo& p$eas&re. ake yo& spe"d *ith y to"%&e as *o e" do to yo&.4 2 4They do"(t. it(s a story.4 said she fier#e$y. 2 4,ish dear. be 3&iet.4 S*eari"% y $o1e. ho$di"% her ro&"d the *aist to e. kissi"% her a"d she o"#e or t*i#e kissi"% e. she pa#ified. tho sti$$ so e!#ited as I(d "e1er before see" her. She he$ped e to pi#k &p the thi"%s. y t& b$er a"d broke" %$ass. *iped so e *etted photos. $ooki"% at ea#h #aref&$$y as she did so *itho&t re ark5 e1er a"d a"o" stari"% at e for a" i"sta"t. ;hat *as passi"% thro her i"d/ 2 )%ai" I h&%%ed a"d kissed. 4;hy do"(t yo& kiss e Edith/4 2 4There the".4 The tab$e d(hote *as ear$y for theatre %oers a"d it *as $i%ht a$$ this ti e. b&t d&sk "o* *as #o i"% o". O"e %$ass re ai"ed i" the bott$e spite of its t& b$e. I po&red it o&t i"to the %$ass a"d she dra"k if off at o"#e. 4,a1e ore *i"e/4 2 4I do"(t #are.4 2 she rep$ied i" a re#k$ess to"e. 2 4:et behi"d the bed *hi$st it #o es.4 She did. a"d I took i" the *i"e *itho&t her bei"% see". The" sitti"% o" the sofa she a%ai" $ooked at the photos rapid$y. o"e after the other. I "o* p&$$ed do*" the b$i"d a"d $i%hted o"e #a"d$e o" the a"te$ she$f <a feeb$e $i%ht=. )%ai" she %&$ped do*" #ha pa%"e. b&t there *as "ot the s$i%htest si%"s of her bei"% e$e1ated by it. a"d *e ta$ked *hi$st sti$$ she $ooked at the photos. a"d $iste"ed to y p$ai" re arks abo&t the . ;as she $e*ed. a"d #o"tro$$i"% her se!&a$ *a"ts/ 4)re yo& %oi"% to *ait ti$$ yo&(re arried before yo& are f&#ked. dear/4 2 'othi"% "o* see ed to &pset her a"d she be%a" a"s*eri"%. 4I "e1er sha$$ be arried.4 $a&%hi"% #y"i#a$$y. 2 4+o it *itho&t the". 2 'o* do"(t be foo$ish. $et e fee$ yo&.4 2 4I *o"(t.4 Is she %oi"% to yie$d/ passed thro&%h y i"d as I p&t y ha"d do*". She bare$y resisted. b&t #rossed her $e%s 0&st as y fi"%ers to&#hed the thi#ket. 2 4'o* do"(t.4 2 I #o&$d"(t %et y fi"%ers to her #$itoris. her thi%hs pre1e"ted it. b&t ro1ed y ha"d o1er thi%hs a"d b& . a"d &p to her "a1e$. fee$i"% i1ory s ooth"ess. e!6to$$i"% its bea&ty. prayi"% her to $et e fee$ the s$it. 2 4'o 2 "o 2 "o.4 2 *as a$$ she said. as she %e"t$y
3

MY SECRET LIFE

s3&ir ed abo&t o" the sofa resisti"% e. >&ffi"% her #$oser to e 2 kissi"% her #heek i"#essa"t$y. or her $ips *he" ha$f t&r"ed at ti es to e.6she *as 3&iet a"d see ed ref$e#ti"%. 2 4Ope" yo&r thi%hs 2 do. $o1e.4 2 4I *o"(t.4 2 4Fee$ y pri#k 2 do.4 2 4I *o"(t. 2 Ceasi"% to fee$ her. I p&$$ed it o&t a%ai" a"d sti$$ ho$di"% her ti%ht$y. p$a#ed her ha"d aro&"d it. 2 4Fee$ it. Edith dear.4 a"d for a i"&te o"$y she did. I had *ithdra*" y ha"d fro he"d thi%hs to do that. a"d "o* had to %et it ba#k. She did"(t hi"der e. her thi%hs *ere "o $o"%er #rossed. y fi"6%ers *e"t bet*ee" the soft $ips of the *ar "i#k. sett$ed o" her #$itoris a"d there fri%%ed %e"t$y. 2 4Oho 2 take yo&r ha"d a*ay.4 )%ai" she #rossed her thi%hs i priso"i"% y fi"%ers. a"d stoppi"% the $&s#io&s titi$$atio". She(d fe$t the p$eas&re. a"d k"e* she *as drifti"% to*ards6 the irre1o#ab$e. *as str&%%$i"% *ith her se!&a$ desires. 4Let e dear 2 do.4 2 4Oh yo& h&rt e.4 2 4'o* I do"(t. a"d *o"(t 2 I s*ear I *o"(t.4 2 I fid%eted y ha"d. her thi%hs ope"ed s$i%ht$y. y fi"%er re#o e"#ed its %e"t$e o1e e"t o" the b&d of $o1e. o" the soft p&$py ass of #$itoris a"d "y phae 2 *hi#h see ed $ar%e a"d f&$$ 2 ti$$ a%ai" she si%hed. 4)herr 2 oho 2 do"(t.4 a"d her fa#e t&r"ed to i"e. I p&t y $ips to hers. p&t a%ai" y pri#k i" her ha"d. a"d a%ai" %ot y other ha"d &p her #$othes o" to her #&"t a"d fri%%ed a*ay. 2 4Oho 2 ah 2 do"(t.4 2 4Fee$ it 2 fri% e. $o1e 2 $et e spe"d i" yo&r ha"d.4 2 4)ha.4 2 she si%hed. 4Let e f&#k yo& dear. I( dyi"% for yo&.4 2She si%hed. she *as abo&t to spe"d. her thi%hs 3&i1ered. *he" *ith a s&dde" effort she %ot &p. $et %o y pri#k a"d dis$od%ed y fi"%ers fro their *ar p$a#e. 4I &st %o to Ma a.4 she said $o&d$y. a$ ost 1io$e"t6 $y. 4Yo& sha"(t.4 2 4I &st.4 2 She o1ed to*ards the door. *he" #at#hi"% her ro&"d the *aist *ith rapid effort. I p&shed her a%ai"st the bed. $ifted her &po" it. a"d thre* yse$f beside her. ta$ki"% 1o$&pt&o&s$y. s*eari"% I(d ha1e her. She. "o* i"ert. did"(t resist. 4Let e %o for :od(s sake.4 2 *as a$$ she said. 4,ish dear. they($$ hear yo&.4 2 )%ai" I *as fri%%i"% her a"d had p$a#ed her ha"d o" y pri#k. *he" she %a1e a stra"%e ha$f #ry. ha$f hysteri#a$ $a&%h. she had passed the r&bi#o". ea"t f&#ki"%. ;ho #o&$d *o"der at it after a$$ she(d see". heard. a"d do"e o" that day 2 a"d a$$ she k"e*/ 'o ore *as said. L&st at ti es *orks #rafti$y a"d s$o*$y. I(d fears that a s&dde" sho#k i%ht spoi$ y #ha"#e. b&t #a&tio" "o* $eft e. a$$ *as a #haos of $o1i"% ba&dy *ords a"d deeds. the si%hs of a *o a" *ith a s*eati"% #&"t. a"d *a"ti"% f&#ki"%. her feari"% it. of a a" re#k$ess *ith desire a"d a t&r%id pri#k. My kisses %re* ore rapt&ro&s. atte pts ore bo$d. her resista"#e $ess a"d $ess. 4+o"(t 2 aha 2 do"(t 2 yo&($$ r&i" e. 2 +o"(t "o*.4 2 she si%hed as $&stf&$ p$eas&re e"er1ated her. a"d y fi"%ers o1ed 3&i#k$y o1er #$itoris a"d "y phae. ;ith a si%h her thi%hs the" ope"ed. resista"#e #eased. The o e"t had #o e. I fe$t y po*er 2 ho* the a$e i"sti"#t te$$s9 2 ;ith6 dra*i"% y ha"d fro the $o1e$y apert&re. teari"% ope" y tro*sers. p&shi"% the do*". p&$$i"% &p y shirt. freei"% y pri#k a"d ba$$s. rapid$y I t&r"ed y be$$y o" to hers. %raspi"% a ha&"#h *ith o"e ha"d. poi"ti"% y pri#k *ith the other. 2 4Let(s f&#k. dar$i"%.4 The" y *et $ips et hers. #$osi"% her
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VOLUME 11

o&th. 4+o"(t 2 "o 2 for :od(s sake do"(t.4 she &r &red i"arti#&$ate$y as y to"%&e for#ed itse$f bet*ee" her $ips. that $o1e$y oist e bra#e of o&th a"d o&th. 4Oh 2 pray.4 2 The" a$$ *ords #eased. 'ot a o1e e"t of $e%s. ar s or b&tto#ks hi"dered e as o&r be$$ies et. a"d y thi%hs s$id do*" bet*ee" hers *ide"i"% the apart. ope"i"% the road to the earth$y paradise of h& a"ity. she pa$pitati"%. *ith #&"t year"i"% for a pri#k. s&bd&ed. &tter$y si$e"t ti$$ she fe$t y fi"%ers ope"i"% the *ay for y e"try. 4,o 2 ho.4 she #ried sharp$y as ro&%h$y i" y i patie"#e I $od%ed y pri#k a"d %a1e its first press&re at the %ate of $o1e. The" thr&sti"%. 2 4,o 2 yo& h&rt.4 she %asped. I had "ot e"tered. a barrier stopped y pri#k. I fe$t rapid$y ro&"d it. *as it the *ro"% path/ 2 'o. the tip *as i" its proper p$a#e. )%ai" I thr&st. 2 4Ohoo.4 2 She(s 1ir%i". f$ashed thro y i"d 2 thr&st 2 thr&st. 4,o 2 ho4 2 thr&st. thr&st. thr&st 2 I %a1e rapid$y a"d 1io$e"t$y *ith #&"t sp$itti"% for#e. 4Ohoo.4 she oa"ed. as y pri#k *ith a p$&"%e fi$$ed her #&"t. a"d y ba$$s da"%$ed a%ai"st her i1ory b&tto#ks. ) 1ir%i" a%ai". by @o1e9 9 9 )"d for a" i"sta"t I rested. The" as the 0oyo&s fa#t e"tered y i"d. *i$d *ith de$i%ht I #o&$d "ot rest a" i"sta"t i" y 1i#tory. y pri#k ready to spe"d for the $ast ho&r. p$&"%ed &p a"d do*" her $&s#io&s #&"t. 2 She($$ b$eed 2 oh 0oy. that b$ood 2 a"d as that #rossed y i"d y sper seethed &p. y pri#k fe$t b&rsti"%. 2 4F&#k 2 sp&"k 2 spe"d dar$i"%. spe"d.4 2 I si%hed. a"d the esse"#e of $ife sp&rted o&t. stoppi"% a$$ &ttera"#es i" the i"effab$e p$eas&re of the 0etti"%. a"d y pri#k $ay *e$teri"% i" a" e o$$ie"t bath. *as bathi"% i" her sper f$ooded #&"t. to *hi#h she(d added "a&%ht b&t that soft oist&re *hi#h the 1o$&pt&o&s *a"ts a"d &r%i"%s of her "at&re had iss&ed before o&r bodies *ere o"e. before y pri#k had to&#hed the e"tra"#e to her shri"e. 2 >ai" had stopped her p$eas&re. barred her spe"d. ready as the f$ood %ate of her te p$e had bee" to ope". I(d f&#ked too 3&i#k$y. so she(d issed the de$irio&s p$eas&re. the %$orio&s re*ard of her #&"ta$ pai". of the sa#rifi#e of her 1ir%i"ity. I *as so asto"ished at the &"e!pe#ted 1ir%i"ity. that for a i"&te or t*o I did"(t speak. She $ay i"ert *ith #$othes &p to her "a1e$. thi%hs apart. si$e"t. otio"$ess. e!#epti"% that she p&t o"e ar a#ross her eyes. 7$ood *as o" y pri#k. a"d si%"s of b$ood o" o"e of her thi%hs. I p&t y ha"d broad$y o1er her 1&$1a. a"d *ith6dre* it *ith ore sa"%&i"ary e1ide"#es of 1ir%i"ity that I(1e &s&a$$y fo&"d. 4:et &p 2 *ash dear. yo& are b$eedi"%.4 t*i#e I said before she o1ed. 4I do"(t #are.4 at $e"%th she &r &red i" a re#k$ess to"e. b&t %ot &p. sat do*" o" the sofa by the s a$$ tab$e. a"d b&ried her head i" her ha"ds. The" #a e o1er e a fee$i"% of re%ret. a fee$i"% si i$ar to that *hi#h I had *he" I f&#ked y arried #o&si" ,a""ah 2 that I(d i"0&red her 2 a"d fe$t deep$y sorry. 7&t the thi"% *as do"e. a"d after a$$ she *as as &#h to b$a e as e. ;hat other *o a" i" s&#h so#ia$ positio". had e1er e"tered i"to s&#h
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MY SECRET LIFE

re$atio"s *ith a a" as she had/ 2 M&st she "ot ha1e e!pe#ted to be tai$ed/ 2 These tho&%hts #o forted e. She sat so. *itho&t o1i"% or rep$yi"% for so e i"&tes. 4Yo&r #he ise *i$$ be 6 stai"ed.4 2 4I do"(t #are.4 2 The" she $ifted her head. $ooked at e ear"est$y a"d said. 4I( r&i"ed.4 the" *ashed her #&"t. 2 I p&t a to*e$ bet*ee" her thi%hs a"d sat do*" by her side a%ai". sayi"% that her 4r&i"4 *as "o"se"se. say6 i"% *hat I ha1e to other 1ir%i"s to #o fort the . a"d abs&rd as it see s had #o forted the . 7&t this $iaiso" *as a pe#&$iar o"e. 2 'e1er had I f&#ked a $ady 1ir%i" before. a"d o$d e"o&%h to be her father. a"d k"o*i"% that the #o"se3&e"#es i%ht be ore serio&s to her tha" to *o e" of a #o o"er sort. a%ai" I fe$t 1ery 1ery sorry. Three fo&rths of the ser1a"t #$ass a"d the #$ass be$o* the . ha1e bee" f&#ked *e$$ before they arry. a"d yet the #o&p$es are #o"te"t. The $o*er #$ass(s k"o* *e$$ that a #&"t i pro1es i" %i1i"% p$eas&re by pra#ti#e. 4I &st %o to Ma a.4 2 said she after $iste"i"% $o"%. a"d a$ ost *itho&t rep$y. That t&r"ed the #&re"t of y tho&%hts. She had"(t spe"t. ;hat if she re6f&sed to $et e f&#k her a%ai". repe"ted a"d a1oided e. 4Yo& &st"(t yet.4 4I &st. she($$ *o"der *here I a .4 2 4;e ha1e"(t bee" a" ho&r a"d a ha$f to6%ether. I *a"t to f&#k yo& a%ai".4 2 She *o&$d"(t 2 i"sisted o" %oi"%. I #a&%ht her ro&"d the *aist. kissed her a"d she kissed e. 4;i$$ yo& s*ear yo&($$ #o e ba#k/4 2 4Yes 2 yes. if I #a". b&t I &st %o to Ma a.4 2 She *as so e!#ited a"d reso$&te that I $et her %o. ;o"deri"% if she(d keep her *ord. I p&t y roo to ri%hts. pi#ked &p so e fra% e"ts of broke" %$ass. $et the #ha ber aid e pty the s$ops. )$$ *as do"e i" te" i"&tes. The" I $i%hted a"other #a"d$e. a"d sat do*" ar1e$$i"% at the 1ir%i"ity I had fo&"d i" a a""er as &"e!pe#ted as that of >hoebe(s "ot si! o"ths a%o. yet s&#h *as y $&#k. +&ri"% forty years I had "e1er had s&#h t*o e!traordi"ary #ha"#es. a"d both "o* #a e *ithi" a short period of ea#h other. I" abo&t t*e"ty i"&tes i" #a e Edith. 4Yo&(1e kept yo&r *ord dear.4 2 The" side by side *e sat. a"d first6 she to$d e ho* she had h& b&%%ed her other. b&t she &st %o ba#k to her i" a" ho&r. The" a$$ *as ta$k of f&#ki"%. the photos *ere see" a%ai". besides a do-e" others *hi#h I(d reser1ed. ;ith *hat se"s&o&s de$i%ht she $iste"ed *hi$st I des#ribed the i" ba&diest $a"%&a%e. It de$i%hted e to say the *ords to a $ady. Soo" after i" si$e"#e *e *ere sitti"%. kissi"%. bi$$i"% a"d #ooi"%. she $ooki"% at ti es at y pri#k. I at her thi%hs. the" fee$i"% her sti$$ b$eedi"% #&"t. she ha"d$i"% y pro#reator fro tip to te#ti#$es. ;hat a de$i#io&s treat for &s both. *hat 1o$&pt&o&s "o1e$ty to her. 2 Soo" &prose y $o1e staff 2 her b& o1ed *ith the se"s&o&s6p$eas&re *hi#h y fi"%er %e"erated o" her #$itoris. a"d %e"t$y I $ed her *i$$i"%. ready. dyi"% to be f&#ked. to the bed. There she *as p$asti#. si$e"t$y s&b itted to be fe$t a"d see" 2 s&bd&ed by $&st. 'e1er did I e"0oy a se#o"d f&#k ore. 'ot too f&$$ or too ra"dy "o*. I
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kept y pe%o 3&iet &p her for a ti e before I thr&st. a"d *e ta$ked i" this ho$y #o"0&"#tio".6 she o"$y too p$eased to #o"1erse. +id it h&rt her "o* 2 ho* h&rt her before 2 *as it. rea$$y pai" to her/ ;as the se"satio" of y 3&ies#e"t pri#k "i#e/ a"d so o". )$$ *as abo&t o&r %e"ita$s. a"d the p$eas&re they %a1e &t&a$$y to their o*"ers. i" the adde"i"% yet soothi"% de$i%ht of f&#ki"%. The" thr&sti"% a"d kissi"% her I fe$t her #&"t stiffe" ro&"d y pri#k 2 a" e!#eedi"% ti%ht"ess to it. 2 I k"e* *hat that ea"t. a"d i" a fe* rapid. $o"% thr&sts. $&"%ers 2 hitti"% the prof&"dity of her se! the" "est6$i"% it i" its depths 2 *ith a $o"% si%h of p$eas&re the ti%ht"ess of her #&"t #eased. a soft. $&bri#io&s. #reepi"% fee$i"% took its p$a#e. Edith had had her first spe"d *ith a pri#k. ere a throb of p$eas&re *as fe$t by e. Resti"%. I $ooked at her as *ith eyes #$osed a"d pa$pitati"% boso . she $ay 1o$&pt&o&s$y tra"3&i$ i" drea y p$eas&re. O&t I p&$$ed y pri#k fro her $&bri#io&s sheath. rested. ta$ked $e*ed$y. rei"serted it. a"d f&#ked ti$$ she a"d I both spe"t to%ether. The" off she *e"t to her other. "ot *aiti"% to p&rify her. #&"t. I *e"t to bed. ) $&s#io&s e1e"i"% 2 "e1er o"e ore $&s#io&s 2 *as o1er. 'e!t day as arra"%ed *e s#ar#e$y spoke i" the di"i"% roo . )fter idday ea$ *e ta$ked i" the readi"% roo . 2 'ot a b$&sh 2 "ot a si%" of odesty or re%ret had she. b&t 3&ite #oo$. *as ready to #o e to y roo *he"e1er I "a ed a ti e. 2 ) ost e!traordi"ary #reat&re. 2 She(d te$$ her Ma a that she(d *a$k o&t *ith so e $adies. a#t&a$$y did so. $eft the . a"d fo&"d her *ay ba#k to e. 4Let(s %o i"to bed to6%ether.4 2 4I( fri%hte"ed.4 2 47oth "aked %i1es the hei%ht of p$eas&re.4 2 4I( fri%hte"ed.4 Yet she(d risked bei"% see" e"teri"% y roo . I partia$$y &"6dressed her. ;ith the #o3&etry of a *o a". she(d the $o1e$iest si$k sto#ki"%s a"d boots o". aki"% her $e%s $ook e!3&isite. ;ith *hat de$i%ht I t*idd$ed her #&"t as *e sat o" the $itt$e sofa. *here I had 0&st a %$i pse of %arters. a"d "aked thi%hs. a"d she be"di"% her head. #o&$d see the f$orid k"ob of y pier#er *hi#h she he$d i" her ha"d. 2 4Let e fri% yo&.4 She $aid her head o" y sho&$der. ope"ed her thi%hs *ider. a"d e"0oyed it *hi$st sti$$ ho$di"% y pe%o. a"d si$e"t$y6thi"ki"%. It *as a" i"te"se de$i%ht to e. e!#e$$i"% i" its re6fi"ed se"s&a$ity the eroti# %a es *ith the fi"est har6 $ots. O&r passio"s f&$$y ro&sed by the de$i#ate t*idd$i"%s a"d $as#i1io&s ta$k 2 she $iste"ed b&t "e1er rep$ied ba&di$y. 2 4Co e to the bed $o1e.4 She rose at o"#e *ith e. I $aid her o" the bedside. $ifted her petti#oats. sa* a$$ her #har s. kissed be$$y a"d thi%hs a"d otte. 0&st %a1e the #$itoris o"e $itt$e ti#k$e *ith y to"%&e. the" $&"%ed y pri#k &p a"d stood aski"% her ho* she $iked it. ) #&"ta$ %rip rep$ied. a"d $ifti"% her thi%hs o1er y ar s. *e f&#ked *ith f&$$est $&st a"d $o1e. My sp&"k 0etted forth as hers *as shed to i! *ith it. a"d *ith kisses. a"d soft drea i"% &r &rs *e stayed i" 1o$&pt&o&s si$e"#e #o&p$ed. Re#o1ered fro o&r E$ysi& . sti$$ ho$di"% her body to i"e by her thi%hs. %e"ita$s sti$$ 0oi"ed. 4Ca" yo& fee$ y pri#k i" yo&r #&"t sti$$/4 2 4Yes.4 2 )"d th&s *e ta$ked. ti$$ y s#rot& st&#k to her $o1e$y b&tto#ks *ith the &#i$a%i"o&s o1erf$o* fro her #&"t. The" separati"% *e *ashed. a"d at
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MY SECRET LIFE

$e"%th she #o"se"ted to y seei"% 3&iet$y a"d f&$$y a$$ her se#ret #har s. *hi#h i" y e!#ite e"t. i" y h&rry to e"0oy. I(d o"$y o e"tari$y %$a"#ed at. First I $ooked at the seat of the hy e" abo&t *hi#h re#e"t r&pt&re there #o&$d be "o do&bt. e1ide"#es of her 1ir%i"ity *ere *o"derf&$$y e1ide"t. a"d it *as sore sti$$ she said. ,o* thi#k the broke" e bra"#e see ed to e. That i%ht ha1e bee" fa"#y. yet #ertai"$y I(d "e1er had a to&%her o"e to %et thro&%h. 4Sho* e the photos a%ai".4 2 I did. *e $ooked o1er a"d ta$ked abo&t the . 2 'e1er ha1e I see" a *o a" so ea%er to see ba&dy pi#t&res. she feasted o" the . $ooked thro&%h the a%ai" a"d a%ai". The" she fe$t y pri#k a"d as she did so. I fe$t her #&"t. The soothi"% i"f$&e"#e of y fi"%ers *as fe$t. 1o$&pt&o&s se"satio"s #rept thro&%h her. The" she so&%ht f&$$er e!6 p$a"atio"s. t&r"ed a"d $ooked at e. as I spoke the ba&diest *ords. I to$d her I(d see" a tho&sa"d #&"ts. 2 4Oh9 i possib$e.4 2 ,er i"terest be#a e i"te"se i" #&"ts. 2 4Yes dear. a"d s#ar#e$y o"e e!a#t$y $ike the other.4 4+o a"y sho* as &#h as i"e/4 2 She $ooked #o"f&sed as she asked a"d t&r"ed her eyes to the photos. 4Oh a"y.4 2 *hi#h *as a $ie. So ta$ki"%. $ooki"% at photos. e!p$ai"i"%. te$$i"% her I had do"e a$$ a"d see" a$$ do"e *hi#h *ere pi#t&red i" the photos. she at $ast $aid her head o" y sho&$der *ith a si%h. 2 She *as $e*ed. ready to re#ei1e y pri#k &p her a%ai". a"d a%ai" $et e $ift &p her #he ise a"d ad ire her bea&ties. She see ed p$eased to $et e. I *as s&rpri-ed to fi"d her so fi"e a *o a". *e$$ %ro*". p$& p. rather i"deed i"#$i"i"% to sto&t"ess. ,er breasts *ere s a$$ish b&t bea&tif&$$y shaped. a"d *ith $o1e$y pi"k "ipp$es. $ar%er a"d ore pro i"e"t tha" is &s&a$ i" 1ir%i"s. The shape of her thi%hs *as fi"e. they to&#hed a$$ the *ay to her k"ees. a"d the #o"to&r of her ha&"#hes *as s&perb. ,er $itt$e fee$ $ooked s a$$er a"d prettier *he" she *as "aked tha" *he" dressed. she *as a$*ays disp$ayi"% the e"ti#i"%$y *he" sitti"%. a"d *ore shortish .petti#oats <"ot the" fashio"ab$e= I be$ie1e to6 sho* her feet. ,er #&"t a"d otte. #o1ered *ith hair of the darkest #hest"&t 2 the #o$or of that o" her head 2 *as #&r$y. #$ose. a"d abo&t the si$kiest that I e1er fe$t. It #&r$ed so ro&"d the soft p$& p $ips. that the #$eft *as i" shado* a$$ b&t *here $ar%e a"d thi#k "y phae a"d a" &"&s&a$$y $ar%e #$itoris protr&ded. for i"% a b&"#h *hi#h took three fi"%ers to #o1er. Lo*er do*" the "y phae *ere soo" $ost i" the #$eft. a"d died a*ay i"to the %e"era$ s&rfa#e of her #&"t. b&t the $ar%e pro0e#6 tio" $ike a bi% red poppy b&t part$y ope"ed. *as to e 1ery &%$y. a"d spoi$ed *hat other*ise *o&$d ha1e bee" a bea&tif&$ #&"t. ;as it a$*ays so. or *as it the res&$t of fri%%i"% herse$f/ I "e1er asked a"d sha$$ "e1er k"o* 2 I s*ore that her #&"t *as $o1e$y. She $ooked at e as if she did"(t be$ie1e y praise. ,ad she see" other #&"ts/ I ad ired a$$. a"d i"deed *as e"rapt&red *ith her &"e!pe#ted bea&ty of for . 2 4'o* yo&(re "ear$y "aked. be 3&ite "aked $o1e. $et(s %et i"to bed a"d ta$k.4 2 4I( fri%hte"ed.4 2 4;hy/ Yo&r other thi"ks yo& o&t 2 *hat fo$$y.4 2 I
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stripped yse$f a"d stood #$ose to her. fee$i"% her #&"t a"d $ifti"% &p her #he ise. she ho$di"% y pe%o. 4Let o&r f$esh eet e1ery6*here. take it off. yo& sha$$. yo& &st.4 a"d I be%a" taki"% off her #he ise spite of her resista"#e. The" i"to bed rapid$y she %ot to hide her bea&tif&$ "&dity. I *ith her. a"d after #&dd$i"%. kissi"%. fee$i"% e1ery #ra#k a"d #ra""y. 2 4Yo&r sto#ki"%s. 2 I #a""ot fee$ yo&r $e%s.4 2 a"d i" the bed I p&$$ed those off. 7oth "aked as *e $eft o&r others( *o bs I fo$ded her i" y ar s. ,o* e!3&isite is the e bra#e *he" a" a"d *o a" are both "aked. ho* the ha"ds ro1e f"do k"ees to "e#k. a"d &p a"d do*" a"d ro&"d. a"d i"to e1ery #ra""y. ar pits. b& f&rro* a"d #&"t. The" o&r ha"ds sett$ed o" the sa#red i p$e e"ts of Ve"&s. to"%&e p$ayed *ith to"%&e. a$$ spee#h *as $&stf&$ *ords. ti$$ I o&"ted her a"d f&#ked *ith pro$o"%ed rapt&re. sa"k i"to a s*eet s$eep a"d s$ept too $o"%. 4Oh9 ;hat *i$$ Ma a thi"k94 ;ith o"e fee$ &p her %$&ey a1e"&e I $et her %o. I" %reatest haste she dressed a"d $eft. stoppi"% "either to *ash or pidd$e. ;hat *o&$d Ma a ha1e said. had she k"o*" the #o"ditio" of Edith(s #&"t/ )t di""er I *as i"te"tio"a$$y p$a#ed "ear so e frie"ds *ho had arri1ed 2 dista"#e fro her *e tho&%ht i%ht he$p to $&$$ s&spi#io"s if a"y arose. ) #hat *ith her for a i"&te i" the readi"% roo after6*ards. 2 4,a1e yo& *ashed yo&r #&"t/4 She "odded a"d s i$ed. the" *e"t to her other. a"d at abo&t ei%ht o(#$o#k #a e to y roo a%ai". )%ai" *e f&#ked a"d she *e"t off i" t*e"ty i"&tes. $ea1i"% e a *ee bit fati%&ed *ith y e!er#ises. 'e!t or"i"% I ref$e#ted 2 I had #o e to this #ity i"te"di"% to stop t*o days. had a$ready stopped fo&r. a"d had def$orated a $ady *ho see ed ready to risk a"ythi"% to be f&#ked. I had s&%%ested #a&tio" *hi#h i" a de%ree she obser1ed. b&t 2 4I do"(t #are *hat be#o es of e.4 2 said t*i#e or thri#e i" a *ay as if so#ia$ r&i" stared her i" the fa#e. I did"(t $ike. I #o&$d riot stop &#h $o"%er. a"d did"(t *a"t to %et ho e r&#ked o&t. poki"% t*i#e or ore day after day is ore tha" I #a" sta"d "o*. So. tho her e!3&isite si%"s of se!&a$ de$i%ht *he" I *as &p her. her b&r"i"% kisses. 1o$&pt&o&s si%hs. her i"te"se $o1i"%"ess *hi$st f&#ki"%. %a1e e the ost e!3&isite e"0oy e"t. I reso$1ed to sa1e y stre"%th a"d hea$th a $itt$e. a"d to $ea1e. She &s&a$$y breakfasted *ith her other. b&t "e!t or"i"% appeared ear$y o" a terra#e o1er$ooki"% the sea. I deter i"ed to te$$ her I *as %oi"% b&t had"(t the heart. She *as %oi"% o&t *ith so e $adies a"d I *as to %o to see her other. I did. a"d fo&"d she *as %etti"% her $e% *e$$. 3&i#ker tha" the do#tor had tho&%ht. ,er brother *as #o i"%. et#. et#. This 3&ite s&ited y i"te"tio"s. a"d o" $ea1i"% *hispered 4I sha$$ be i" y roo at ha$f past te". the door *i$$ be ope".4 2 i"te"di"% to i"for her. The" I *e"t to breakfast. had y toba##o. *e"t to y roo . a"d there she *as. My i"te"tio"s 1a"ished dire#t$y I sa* her. y o"$y tho&%ht *as of her se#ret #har s. ;hat p&ts $et#hes i"to y head I #a"(t te$$. b&t s&dde"$y I *a"ted to %a ah&#he her. I had e!p$ai"ed to her the ea"i"% of the *ord the "i%ht
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before. a"d she(d ad itted that her #&"t had bee" $i#ked by her )yah i" I"dia. *he" he *as "ot fo&rtee" years o$d. She ref&sed to $et e. *as i" a h&rry to dress to %o o&t *ith so e $adies. et#. et#. ;e *ere sta"di"% #$ose to%ether a"d I *as fee$i"% her #&"t. 4;hat ha1e yo& p&t those da "ed dra*ers o" for/4 <She(d "ot had the o" before.= 4It(s #o$dish this or"i"%.4 2 It *as. 2 4I (hate the .4 2 7&t I fe$t her 3&i thro the . "ot *ishi"% to f&#k. hati"% to be h&rried i" that de$i#io&s fri#tio". 2 4Let e kiss it.4 2 4'o.4 Yet i" a i"&te she *as o" the bedside. her b& o" y ha"ds. thi%hs o1er y. ar s. y "ose b&ried i" her si$ky otte. y to"%&e sear#hi"% for her #$itoris bet*ee" the $ar%e "y phae. a"d fo&"d easi$y for it *as f&$$ si-ed. I kissed her thi%hs. he$d the &p that y $ips i%ht kiss a"d r&b o1er her sati"y b&tto#ks. the" her be$$y. the" I "ibb$ed at her $o1e b&d. $i#ked a$$ o1er the 1&$1a. shot y to"%&e &p the a1e"&e. the" p$ayed it o" the #$itoris. s&#ki"% it i" at ti es. the" "ibb$i"% it %e"t$y. ti$$ I fe$t6 her thi%hs be%i" to t*it#h. her #&"t s$i%ht$y 0erk &p. C&i#ker *e"t y to"%&e. 2 4)herr.4 2 4Fee$ y head $o1e.4 at o"#e her ha"ds %rasped it. o" *e"t y to"%&e 2 4)hrr 2 ehha4 66 her thi%hs for a" i"sta"t stiffe"ed. the" 3&i1eri"% re$a!ed. a f$&sh of #&"ta$ 0&i#es et y to"%&e *hi$st sti$$ it $i"%ered p$ayi"% %e"t$y o" her #$itoris. %i1i"% the f&$$est p$eas&re. $etti"% her $ose "o"e. Raisi"% y head. $ooki"% at the oiste"ed 1&$1a. ope"i"% its red $ips *ider. a%ai" to see a"d %$ory i" the #o#ks6#o b ed%es of her $ost hy e". I rose &p. She *as $yi"% *ith eyes #$osed e"er1ated by her spe"d. 2 )h the $&s#io&s tra"3&i$ity i" i"d a"d body *hi#h a spe"d %i1es both a" a"d *o a". The" she 3&i#k$y %ot off the bed p&shi"% do*" her #$othes. a"d for the first ti e sho*ed si%"s of odesty. She $ooked asha ed a"d a*ay fro e *ith f$&shed fa#e as I said. 4That(s *hat %a ah&#hi"% is.4 2 4I &st %o 2 *hat *i$$ they thi"k of seei"% e #o e o&t of yo&r roo so ofte"/4 <I *o"dered too. for she had"(t before see ed to #are.= 4Sha$$ I b&y so e ore photo%raphs/4 2 4Oh. do. do.4 *ith 1i1a#ity. 2 4;ash yo&r 3&i . dear 2 $et e *ash it.4 2 ;itho&t a *ord she $eft the roo . #ha"#i"% *ho i%ht be i" the #orridor. )$$ the re ai"der of the day I did "othi"% b&t thi"k of f&#ki"% her. of $ooki"% at her $o1e$y thi%hs a"d b&tto#ks. at her se#ret #har s a%ai" 2 a"d of the positio" I(d f&#k her i". The" I reso$1ed to stay a day or t*o $o"%er. yet k"e* that I &st te$$ her. a"d $ea1e at so e ti e. ,er a""er *as 3&ite $ike o"e *ho e!pe#ted the $iaiso" to be per a"e"t. ;hat rea$$y passed i" her i"d abo&t that I k"o* "ot. for *he" to%ether. o&r e"tire ti e *as e p$oyed i" ta$ki"% abo&t #op&$atio". its pre$i i"aries. a"d $ooki"% at photo%raphs. Of photos I *e"t o&t a"d bo&%ht a"other #o$$e#tio". et her i" the hote$ *ith the $adies she(d bee" o&t *ith. arra"%ed that she sho&$d #o e to y roo as before. soo" after tab$e d(hote di""er 2 at *hi#h I *as"(t to di"e 2 a"d she *as to h& b&% her other. I heard that Ma a a$*ays asked abo&t e. a"d I be%a" to fear s&spi#io&s$y. I" the e1e"i"% she #a e a"d took #are to *ait ti$$ "o o"e *as abo&t. The door $o#ked. 4,a1e yo& %ot a"y ore photos/4 *ere a$ ost her first *ords.
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>rod&#i"% the *e sat do*". she $ooked the thro *ith $&stf&$ a1idity. *hi$st I had o"e ha"d o" her thi%h. 2 It see ed to e a$ ost i"#redib$e. that s&#h #o p$ete fa i$iarity sho&$d ha1e #o e abo&t bet*ee" &s i" so short a ti e. she &" istakab$y a 1ir%i" fo&r days before. 2 b&t so it *as 2 I to$d her I(d f&#ked a tho&sa"d *o e". 4Oh *hat a story.4 ,er other had said I *as a $iberti"e by the $ook of y eyes. )$$ this *as see". said a"d do"e. i" a 3&arter of a" ho&r. the". 2 4Let(s do it dear.4 She rose &p at o"#e ready for f&#ki"%. ;hat *o a" does"(t *he" it(s a "o1e$ty/ It happe"ed to be a" &"&s&a$$y #o$d "i%ht a"d I s&%%ested bed. 2 'o she #o&$d"(t be a*ay $o"% a"d feared her a a se"di"% for her. 2 7&t "aked *e %ot i"to bed. a"d f&#ked a%ai". $aid i" ea#h other(s ar s after fee$i"% a"d f& b$i"% o&r %$&ey %e"ita$s ti$$ they *ere dry a%ai". The" I rose o" y k"ees a"d ade her p&$$ y foreski" &p a"d do*". a"d the" I p&t y fi"%ers &p her #&"t as far as I #o&$d 2 a$$ this *ith $o1i"% a o&ro&s ta$k 2 ti$$ a%ai" y pri#k *as &p her a"d a%ai" *e f&#ked. I" the i"ter1a$ bet*ee" o&r p$eas&re y $ea1i"% o##&rred to e. yet I postpo"ed te$$i"% it. O&r ta$k *as so de$i#io&s abo&t se!&a$ities. that I had"(t the heart to say *hat I(d i"te"ded. There is "o ore de$i#io&s #o"1ersatio". tha" *he" a a" te$$s to a "eophyte a$$ his e!perie"#e i" se!&a$ atters. ,o* Edith(s 3&i heated I #o&$d te$$ by the *ay she #&dd$ed e. the *ay she #$&t#hed y pe%o a"d asked abo&t other *o e"(s #&"ts 2 1ery #&rio&s abo&t those 2 a"d &#h abo&t har$ots a"d their doi"%s5 a"d yet I #o&$d"(t %et her to &tter a ba&dy *ord. 2 She *as #ertai"$y a #&rio&s o"e. The rest of the p$easa"t yet i" so e respe#ts sad a o&r. &st be shorte"ed. 'e!t day i" the or"i"% I asked her to #o e to y roo . 2 Visitors *ere o&t. the #ha ber aid had do"e the roo s 2 there are ti es *he" b&t fe* are i" the #orridors 2 *he" she #a e. 4Edith dear. I( ob$i%ed to %o to Lo"do".4 2 I b$&rted o&t deter i"ed to %et it o1er. 2 She stared at e *ith o&th *ide ope" for a" i"sta"t. the" f$opped do*" hea1i$y o" a #hair. b&ried her fa#e i" her ha"ds. a"d b&rst i"to a f$ood of tears a"d sobbi"%. I a*aited sad$y. soothi"% as *e$$ as I #o&$d b&t #o&$d say "othi"% effe#t&a$. 2 )t $e"%th she 3&ieted a"d to so e re ark of i"e. 2 4I k"e* it &st be. a"d I(1e r&i"ed y6se$f.4 2 "ot that I(d r&i"ed her 2 I said that that *as "o"se"se. b&t she repeated it. a"d that she sho&$d "e1er arry "o*. ;e ta$ked a" ho&r. she i" &#h %rief. be%%i"% e to stop a day or t*o for she sho&$d "e1er see e a%ai" 2 *o&$d I *ait ti$$ her &"#$e #a e/ ;e separated *itho&t f&#ki"%. She ho*e1er #a e "e!t e1e"i"% a"d *e f&#ked t*i#e. ,o* she a"a%ed to h& b&% her other at $ea1i"% her a$o"e so &#h. is "eed$ess to te$$. I sa* her other i" her roo "e!t day. a"d before I $eft a s&re she had "o s&spi#io"s abo&t e. I *aited three days ore ti$$ her &"#$e arri1ed. a"d *e f&#ked t*i#e e1ery day. a"d ta$ked abo&t that operatio" ad $ibit& a"d a$$ appertai"i"% to it. The" I ade her a prese"t of the photos o" #o"ditio" of her repeati"% after e the three *ords. 4pri#k. #&"t. f&#k4 2 the o"$y ob6 s#e"e *ords I e1er heard her say. Yet she(d a hot #&"t. *as sa$a#io&s to her b& ho$e I a s&re. I
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fri%%ed her o"#e. a"d %a ah&#hed her e1ery day after the first. besides f&#ki"% her. ;e parted that $ast e1e"i"% i" tears. She said she $o1ed e. I" o&r #o"1ersatio"s. she to$d e she(d had three offers of arria%e "ear$y. b&t they *ere broke" off. she "e1er k"e* *hy. She de#$ared that "o a" had e1er take" a $iberty *ith her b&t e a"d so e s#hoo$ %ir$s. that o"e or t*o fe a$e I"dia" ser1a"ts had %a ah&#hed her. tho she(d "e1er heard that "a e for #&"t $i#ki"% before I had said it 2 *hi#h is possib$e. 2 I %athered that she(d a sister i" I"dia a"d so eho* #a e to the #o"#$&sio" that both sisters *ere i$$i%iti ate. tho I "e1er heard s&#h a thi"% hi"ted of the . 2 ;as her other e1er arried/ I *o"dered. 2 Certai"$y she *as a thoro&%h$y *e$$ ed&#ated $ady. The day before I $eft Edith her #o&rses #a e o" *hi$st f&#ki"%. I #o"%rat&$ated her o" it. b&t as before she re arked. she said did"(t #are *hat be#a e of her. EThree years or so after*ards. I heard she *as arried to a 1ery ri#h a" *ho took her to 7ra-i$. a"d that is a$$ I k"o* abo&t her. 2 It *as a si"%&$ar $iaiso". a"d so eho* I ha1e a$*ays fe$t sad *he" I thi"k of it.F

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Chapter II )t the $ap&"ar a"d peepho$e. )$e!a"dri"e(s ad1i#e. Gatie(s i"str&#tio". Mar%&erite(s for"i#atio". >rofits a"d $osses. ) hairy arsed har$ot. )bo&t the propriety of seei"% a"d fee$i"% other e"(s pri#ks. ) do&b$e #&"ted str& pet. Gatie(s e1e"tf&$ history. E"%$a"d a%ai". )$teratio" i" the arra"%e e"t of y "arrati1e. The phi$osophy of f&#ki"% 1ir%i"s a"d 0&1e"i$es. ,. $ost a"d fo&"d. M&t&a$ fri%%i"%s i" a #ab. The s"&% a##o odatio" ho&se. 7a&dy books a"d pri"ts. ,.(s p$eas&re i" eeti"% e. Mi"etted by Misses R a"d 7$a#k. 7a&dy triads. ) f$a%e$$atio" spe#ta#$e. Three *o e" a"d se$f. )" or%y. 7$a#k be#o es fa1o&rite. Taki"% rest tho tra1e$$i"%. I rea#hed the #ity of p$eas&re a"d *as *e$#o ed *ith ope" ar s by )$e!a"dri"e. *ho. sti$$ retai"ed her post. There *as &#h #ha"%e i" the *o a"6ki"d i" the borde$ si"#e $ast I *as there 6 6 a $o"%ish ti e a%o 2 b&t e"o&%h of the o$d o"es $eft to k"o* e. 2 4C(est $&i.4 2 *he" I appeared i" the sa$o". Mar%&erite *as there as bea&tif&$ as e1er. i"6deed ore bea&tif&$ i" for . ) *o"der 2 for there she #ertai"$y has bee" se1e" years a"d ore a"d )$e!a"dri"e te$$s e. "e1er has $ess tha" fi1e e". a"d fre3&e"t$y se1e". i" ea#h t*e"ty6fo&r ho&rs. 4She akes &#h. as &#h as a"y three *o e". 2 7&t. )h9 2 it a$$ %oes o&tside to so e o"e.4 2 4U" hor"6 e/4 2 4@e $e s&ppose.4 a"d she shr&%%ed her sho&$ders. I f&#ked Mar%&erite a"d to$d her she(d ade a fort&"e. 47&t I spe"d it.4 2 4,o* the"/4 2 4I" p$eas&re.4 2 4)h there is &" a a"t de #oe&r.4 2 4>e&t6titre.4 2 a"d she s i$ed. 2 She *as a $o1e$y #reat&re. I sa* a$so abo&t a do-e" #o&p$es f&#ki"%. sa* the Cypria"s before it. e"0oi"ed the to she* off the e"(s pri#ks *e$$. a"d *as obeyed. The si%ht of a ha"dso e stiff pe%o. I so eti es fa"#y "o* e!#ites e ore tha" the si%ht of the ore se#ret fe a$e or%a". 2 ;hy/ 2 Is y desire to see this pro#reati"% too$ i proper or "ot/ >re0&di#e a"d ed&#atio" i" fa$se pri"#ip$es *o&$d ake a"s*er. 4Yes.4 2 If it be so. the" a" ade i" :od(s o*" i a%e. is i" his "&dity a thi"% to be asha ed of. a"d his pe%o obs#e"e. fi$thy. abo i"ab$e. Yet the #reator has ade hi *ith that too$ for the %reat p&prose of peop$i"% the *or$d. of #reati"% bei"%s *ho he the" e"do*s *ith so&$s. Stra"%e that it sho&$d be tho&%ht abo i"ab$e a"d i ora$ for a a" to sho* it. or other e" to see a"d to&#h it 2 si p$y $&di#ro&s. 2 )$$ a$es at so e ti e ha1e both e!posed their o*". a"d fe$t other e"(s pri#ks 2 perhaps o"$y boys( pri#ks 2 b&t the a#t is the sa e. 2 >o*erf&$ or%a" *hi#h a$$ $o1e a"d *o e" *orship 2 *hy art tho& #a$$ed fi$thy a"d obs#e"e/ O"e e1e"i"% a "ear$y b$a#k haired *o a" #a e i" to e. *ith a #opio&s o1erf$o*i"% $ibatio" i" her 3&i 2 fat sp&"k a"d $ots of it. 2 I $ooked. i"1esti%ated. said she i%ht %o. a"d proffered pay e"t. 4Mais baise- oi
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do"#.4 2 4)h "o I *a"t it "ot.4 47&t yo& &st. yo& sha$$. yo& ha1e "ot kissed e for three years.4 I had 3&ite for%otte" her. the" re#o$$e#ted her hairi"ess *hi#h had disp$eased e tha". a"d disp$eased e "o*. She *as o"e of the hairiest i" the re%io" of #&"t a"d b& ho$e I e1er sa*. Fro "a1e$ to arseho$e. it *as b$a#k. $o"%. #&r$y. thi#k. a"d hid e1erythi"%. The %ap *as hidde" by it 3&ite. her b&tto#ks *ere #o1ered *ith hair &p to the b& bo"es. %rad&a$$y thi""i"% off to those ossifi#atio"s. b&t sti$$ b$a#k a"d thi#k. It &st ha1e bee" a" i"#h $o"% ro&"d her a"&s. a"d a$$ 0et b$a#k. It fi$$ed the ho$$o* bet*ee" #&"t a"d thi%h. )s she k"e$t. it $ooked $ike the arse of a b$a#k bear a"d *as &%$y. yet s&#h *as her a$ ost a"%ry pers&asi1e"ess 2 s&#h the e!#ite e"t of "o1e$ty 2 that I f&#ked her. tho a%ai"st y *i$$ as I did it. b&t I 1eri$y be$ie1e to her %reat de$i%ht. 4There is a f"desh *o a" a"d she(s t*o #&"ts.4 said )$e!a"dri"e to e as I e"tered o"e "i%ht. 4I possib$e.4 2 4It(s tr&e. she #o es fro Marsei$$es a"d has bee" stoppi"% at the FHrHy(s a"d "o* is here.4 2 I asked for Gatie. a"d had a #hat *ith her. 2 4Yes it is tr&e. a"d she is i" so#iety "o*.4 2 47etter a"d better.4 I said. 4Let her #o e to e after.4 )*aiti"% her. I a &sed yse$f *ith Gatie. *ho to$d e a$$ abo&t the *o a" ti$$ she e"tered. I p&t her o" to the bedside 3&i#k$y. 2 She had heard of y $et#h 2 a"d ope"ed her thi%hs. There *as &#h thi#k sper o&tside. *hat $ooked $ike a"y other #&"t. a"d I said the t*o #&"ts *as a 0oke. 7&t Gatie #o i"% to y aid p&$$ed ope" the $ips. *hi#h so far rese b$ed a" ordi"ary 3&i . b&t do*" the #e"tre of the #&"t. *as a e bra"e of diaphra% $ooki"% $ike o"e of the "y phae. e!te"di"% fro the #$itoris to the $o*er e"d of the sp$it. The t*o proper "y phae *ere i" their p$a#e. I p&t y fi"%er &p. 2 4There is "o sper i" there.4 said Gatie. 4$ook here4 2 a"d p&tti"% the #e"tra$ di1isio" o" o"e side. there *as the ope"i"% *ith sper i" it. I rapid$y $ooked a$$ o1er her t*o 3&i s ra"dy i" i"d. b&t *as 0&st the" "ot stro"%. "ot *e$$. a"d y pri#k *o&$d "ot sta"d. 2 Gatie s&#ked it to a s$i%ht ri%idity a"d I p&t it *ith diffi#&$ty &p the sper y orifi#e. 2 It *o&$d "ot re ai" there. her #&"t fe$$ a*ay fro e. 4There is "ot &#h sp&"k i" yo&.4 2 said I. 2 4'ot &#h.4 said the Marsei$$aise. 4it(s a$$ r&" o&t. b&t the Mo"sie&r is *aiti"% for e to %o ba#k.4 2 So I $et her %o. She #a e ba#k soo" after *ith her #&"t or #&"ts *ashed. 2 E!#ited a"d $&sti"% for her. yet I "o* #o&$d"(t %et y pri#k stiff at a$$ so tried Gatie(s 3&i *hi#h did"(t raise it. a"d i" despair I $eft the ho&se. 'e!t day I had the sa e t*o *o e". Gate. be#a&se bei"% E"%$ish she i"terpreted for e *he" y Fre"#h fai$ed e. a"d I $ear"ed a$$ abo&t the do&b$e o"e. I sa* her piss. fe$t o"e the" the other 1a%i"a. fe$t to the top or botto of ea#h. r&bbed the *o b e"tra"#es. p&t t*o fi"%ers. o"e &p ea#h #&"t at the sa e ti e. a"d fe$t a"d pi"#hed the %rist$y or f$eshy di1isio" bet*ee" the t*o. E1ery e"3&iry I ade *as a"s*ered *ith fra"k"ess. Gatie %a ah&#hed e. a"d so did 4do&b$e #&"t.4 2 )$$ *as a%ai" &se$ess. I *a"ted the *o a". yet had a dis$ike to her. So tippi"% ha"dso e$y for the tro&b$e I had %i1e". I departed a%ai" *ith f$a##id too$. a"d *itho&t ha1i"% this ti e
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e1e" %ot the tip &p either of the do&b$e #&"ts. or the si"%$e #&"t. for I tried Gatie(s 2 I had do"e for yse$f by re#e"t a o&rs I s&ppose. The third ti e I *as better. a"d had had a #o#k6sta"d *he" thi"ki"% of the f&""y f&#ki"% apparat&s of the Marsei$$aise. It *as i" the after"oo" after a %ood $&"#heo" that I *e"t to see her. a"d had her to yse$f for a #o&p$e of ho&rs. She *as a *e$$ %ro*" *o a" say fi1e feet si! hi%h *ith fir f$eshy $ar%e b&tto#ks. s#ar#e$y a"y *aist. thi%hs. Fro k"ees to a"k$es the $e%s *ere hairy a"d &%$y. She had dark hair o" her head. a"d a s$i%ht darkish o&sta#he o" her o&th. a"d dark eyes. ,er fa#e had a so e*hat sad e!pressio" i" it. 2 The hair of her otte had the %ro*th of a *o a" of thirty a"d *as 1ery dark. She said she *as t*e"ty6three. 2 There *as s#ar#e$y a si%" of hair by her a"&s. ,er #&"t ay be $ike"ed to o"e of the short $eather" p&rses $ike a ba%. *hi#h ope"s *ith a #$asp. a"d she*s i"side a di1isio" or #e"tra$ po#ket. *ith a po#ket o" ea#h side of it. The #&"t had the #e"tra$ di1isio" o"$y a"d t*o po#kets o"$y. that is. a #&"t 2 o" ea#h side. The #e"tre di1isio" $ooked $ike o"e of the "y phae. b&t there *ere "y phae of the ordi"ary si-e a"d &s&a$ p$a#e. 0&st *ithi" the o&ter $ips 2 I a #ertai" that a a" "ot k"o*i"% of the pe#&$iar physi#a$ #o"for atio" of the *o a". i%ht ha1e p&t his pri#k &p o"e of the #&"ts. f&#ked a"d fi"ished. *itho&t k"o*i"% that a"other #&"t *as by the side of his pe"is 2 a$*ays s&pposi"% that he had bee" $e*ed a"d f&$$ of sper *he" he be%a" fee$i"%. $ooki"%. a"d f&#ki"%. I" brief. i" the &s&a$ physi#a$ #o"ditio" of a hea$thy a" *he" *a"ti"% a *o a". Fro *hat she to$d e o" this a"d a"other o##asio". she did "ot see to ha1e bee" #o"s#io&s of her pe#&$iar #o"for atio" ti$$ her e"ses be%a" to sho*. She had the "o* fro o"e #&"t after the other 2 "e1er at the sa e ti e fro both. Ea#h $asted abo&t three days 2 &"der her tr&e #$itoris. b&t $o*er do*" a"d o" either side of the #e"tra$ di1isio" of the t*o 1a%i"as. *ere t*o $itt$e piss d&#ts. a"d she pissed first fro o"e a"d the" fro the other. 2 These pidd$e ope"i"%s *ere "ot 0&st i"side a"d "ear to the 1a%i"as or pri#k ho$es as i" ost *o e". b&t hi%her abo1e the tho both *ere hidde" partia$$y by the diaphra% di1idi"% the #&"ts a"d by the "y phae a"d o&ter $ips. I a sorry I did "ot see her piss. She had p$eas&re she said i" f&#ki"%. b&t #o&$d "ot say the p$eas&re *as ore fro o"e #&"t tha" the other. 2 She see ed fro her des#riptio" to ha1e had the &s&a$ a$$o1erish 1o$&pt&o&s se"satio" fro both #&"ts *he" f&#ked. She had bee" i" the fa i$y *ay o"6her $eft side *o b. a"d *he" fo&r o"ths %o"e a"d her be$$y &#h s*o$$e". the do#tors to$d her part&ritio" probab$y *o&$d ki$$ her. a"d so she pro#&red abortio". 2 The #e"tra$ di1isio" *here it 0oi"ed the rea$ #$itoris. protr&ded $ike a se#o"d #$itoris. the pidd$e 1e"t ho$es a $itt$e $o*er *ere o" ea#h side of it. She #o&$d fri% her6se$f to p$eas&re a"d a spe"d o" the $o*er as *e$$ as the &pper #$itoris. So eti es o"e #&"t spe"t. so eti es the other. she did"(t k"o* *hi#h *o&$d spe"d *he" she fri%%ed herse$f.
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The do#tors said that she had t*o b$adders *ith t*o disti"#t *o bs a"d ad0&"#ts. ,o* they *ere #o""e#ted *ith her breasts for i$k. they did "ot k"o*. They *ar"ed her a%ai"st breedi"%. 2 ) perso". a do#tor. had offered her a $ar%e s& to %o to ) eri#a to e!hibit herse$f. b&t she *as fri%hte"ed a"d ref&sed. She $iked *hori"% i" her "ati1e $a"d best. The do#tors had passed i p$e e"ts a"d dra*" off the *ater fro ea#h of her b$adders as a" e!peri e"t. to sett$e the poi"t *hether she had t*o b$adders or "ot. I for%ot to ask her abo&t her 1ir%i"ity. She $iked f&#ki"% she said 2 a"d *he" she fri%%ed either #$itoris she see ed to spe"d fro o"e #&"t or both. she #o&$d "ot #o"tro$ it. b&t both #&"ts did "ot *et. 2 T*o frie"ds o"#e had her to%ether. She stood o1er the o"e *ith the shortest pri#k. a"d the other p&shed &p her other 3&i fro her r& p side 2 the o"e she *as o" *as *e$$ &p her5 b&t the other %ot his pri#k o"$y a $itt$e *ay i". for it *as diffi#&$t. 7oth spe"t &p her a"d she spe"t 2 a$$ three "ear$y at the sa e ti e 2 b&t she "e1er #o&$d te$$ *hi#h of her #&"ts. or if both did. b&t she spe"t #ertai"$y. She *as ade so $e*ed *he" they did it she #o&$d"(t te$$. The" both f&#ked her t*i#e a%ai". o"e after the other. both $ooki"% o" a$ter"ate$y. 4Yes. o"#e i" the other(s sp&"k. the other ti e i" differe"t #&"ts.4 2 4O"e $iked f&#ki"% i" the fo&tre/4 2 4O&i. $ike yo&.4 2 said she *ith a s i$e. 2 She(d heard of e. 2 They *ere Fre"#h e". 2 She *as a$$ the e1e"i"% *ith the . I sa* her a%ai" so e o"ths after. She had the" %o"e to a"other $ap&"ar 2 a$$ the #$ie"ts at H H H H had had her. She did "ot take. fe* e" had her ore tha" o"#e for #&riosity. She did"(t $ike the "ot to f&#k her b&t a"y did "ot. 2 I *e"t thro a$$ the e!a i"atio"s a%ai" a"d heard the sa e story. 2 I %ot y pri#k first &p o"e #&"t the" a"other. b&t #o&$d "ot spe"d. a"d MY. SECRET LIFE after tryi"% i" e1ery attit&de #a e a*ay *itho&t spe"di"%. 2 She this ti e to$d e that she(d had t*o 1ir%i"ities. o"e her $o1er took 2 the do#tor *ho e!a i"ed her s&bse3&e"t$y had the se#o"d. I *as reso$1ed to f&#k her. 1isited her a%ai". heard a$$ o1er a%ai" a"d a $ot ore. My #o#k stood so o&"ted her. I p&shed y pri#k &p her $eft a1e"&e. the" e!#ha"%ed it for the ri%ht o"e. I *a"ted to #o pare differe"#es of se"satio"s 2 if a"y 2 a"d *hether the #&"ts %a1e the sa e sort of fee$ to y too$ as a o"e #&"ted *o a" %a1e e 2 b&t o1er6e!#ited a%ai". y too$ to y a""oya"#e be%a" to d*i"d$e a"d #a e o&t f$abby a$ ost s&dde"$y. 2 The ab"or a$ "at&re of the fe a$e(s or%a" i" fa#t %a1e e a s$i%ht dis%&st. b&t rea$$y tho #&rio&s. there *as "othi"% i" the s$i%htest de%ree 2 as I "o* thi"k of it 2 dis%&sti"% abo&t it. )%ai" by the he$p of her fi"%ers a"d her o&th I ra$$ied. a"d bri"%i"% her to the side of the bed. I first $ooked at her 3&i fro behi"d her b& . the" re1ersi"% her a"d $ifti"% her hea1y thi%hs &p. I asked her to p&t i" y pri#k for e. 2 4;hi#h #&"t/4 2 asked she. 4Yo&r $eft. the side yo& bred i".4 She p$a#ed it there. &p *e"t y pri#k. a"d I $eft y sper i" the fa1o&red a1e"&e.

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1A

VOLUME 11

,er #&"ts did "ot see as "i#e a"d s ooth as the ordi"ary fe a$e arti#$e 2 b&t so e*hat fati%&ed. "ot &#h *a"ti"% it. a"d o1er6*orked before 2 for y #o#k had re#e"t$y %o"e i"to 3&ite a do-e" #&"ts a"d ost$y s ooth *ith sper a"d I had see" thirty #o&p$es #op&$ati"% 2 I *as rather do"e &p 2 I(d had diffi#&$ty a$so i" fi"di"% *here this *o a" had o1ed to. so I *as "ot i" a %ood state for 0&d%i"%. a"d fe$t a$$ the ti e that I *as f&#ki"% o&t of ere #&riosity. ) fe* o"ths after I so&%ht her at the sa e ho&se. 2 She(d $eft. 2 The" I asked )$e!a"dri"e. *ho &"der p$ed%e a%ai" <she(d to$d e before= %a1e e a"other address 2 b&t she had $eft. had %o"e abroad they to$d e. 2 >erhaps so. a"d a$$ E&rope ay see this $&s&s "at&rae. EI ha1e a$*ays re%retted "ot aski"% ore a"d pre#ise 3&estio"s of this do&b$e #&"ted *o a" 2 b&t the e!#ite e"t #a&sed "at&ra$$y by ta$ki"% o" the s&b0e#t. a"d ha1i"% the #&"ts at ha"d a"d the "aked o*"er of the there ready a"d *i$$i"% to f&#k ade e for%et aski"% &#h *hi#h I i"te"ded. I sho&$d ha1e *ritte" do*" y 3&estio"s. a"d asked the seriati . 2 7&t that i%ht ha1e s#ared her. a"d she *o&$d ost $ike$y ha1e $ied ore tha" perhaps she did. b&t as far as I "arrate I thi"k it is a$$ tr&e abo&t her. 2 I had Gatie 2 the o"$y E"%$ish *o a" i" the ho&se. 2 to i"terpret a"d aid e. 7&t abo1e a$$. )$e!a"dri"e. *ho had bee" for a fe* years y frie"d. aid. a"d ad1iser i" eroti# b&si"ess to$d e a %reat dea$. EGatie had a *o"derf&$ history. Fro bei"% a" ordi"ary har$ot there. a"d first i" Lo"do". the" at Lyo"s. she arried the "ephe* of the istress of the borde$. a"d *as for a ti e pra#ti#a$$y istress of the estab$ish e"t 2 a"d *o&$d *ith her h&sba"d ha1e i"herited it. *ith a" i"#o e as far as I #o&$d ake o&t of 3&ite three tho&sa"d po&"ds a year. :ood beha1io&r i" her $od%i"%s %ot her that arria%e a"d that positio". prosperity &pset her. 2 She be#a e a dr&"kard. 3&arre$$ed *ith the *o e". a"d #a&sed ro*s i" the ho&se <"e1er per itted i" a Fre"#h 4 aiso" de to$era"#e4=. *as re0e#ted a"d dis issed 2 of #o&rse sti$$ arried 2 a"d as far as I #o&$d $ear". she *as after*ards se"t to E"%6 $a"d a #o"fir ed dr&"kard. her h&sba"d keepi"% her here. 2 ,er "a e had o##&rred i" the ori%i"a$ "a"drati1e. b&t i" the abbre1iatio"s those i"#ide"ts had bee" destroyed 2 he"#e the "eed to preser1e this short e oir of her here 2 a" e1e"tf&$ history.F My "arrati1e is "ear$y fi"ished. y a atory #areer e"di"%. My se!&a$ po*ers $esse" tho sti$$ stro"%. b&t as the &r%i"%s of #o"#&pis#e"#e are $ess po*erf&$. opport&"ities see "ot to o##&r so fre3&e"t$y a"d y si"s a%ai"st #hastity %ro* fe*er. The a#tors a"d a#tresses *i$$ he"#eforth be "a e$ess or "a ed *ro"%$y for they are $i1i"% a"d abo&t. 2 The ho&ses *hi#h %a1e e she$ter e!ist. b&t &st "ot be "a ed. The a atory episodes *ere for the ost part ore brief$y *ritte" by e tha" for er$y. a"d "eed b&t $itt$e abbre1iatio". Their #hro"o$o%i#a$ order *i$$ "ot be 3&ite fo$$o*ed i" the i"terest of a$$ the a#tors. a#tresses a"d se$f.

17

MY SECRET LIFE

E,ere is p$a#ed a $oose para%raph 2 I fa"#y I ha1e *ritte" a si i$a"d o"e before 2 b&t $est "ot so. it(s *e$$ to preser1e it.F E,o* si i$ar for the ost part ha1e bee" y te porary a o&rs. ,o* si i$ar the beha1io&r of the *o e" *ho ha1e pro#&red e the 1ir%i"s. ;hether LH$He. FHH-Hr or others. a$$ *ere si i$ar. )$$ the 1ir%i"s *ere %ot for o"ey. ;hat p$eas&re a$so the >aphia"s had i" e!#iti"% the $asses. a"d for their o*" $&st i" seei"% the hy e"s take" 2 i" i"#$&di"% the %ir$s to f&#k. 2 ;hat #o p$ete &"a"i ity i" opi"io". that their $itt$e prote%es *o&$d soo" be f&#ked by so e o"e if "ot by e. ;hat ta$es they to$d e of the "as#e"t desires. $e*ed *ishes a"d eroti# k"o*$ed%e a"d habits of the %ir$s at that ear$y a%e. a"d the e"#o&ra%e e"t they %a1e to the a$es 2 ost$y $ads a $itt$e o$der tha" the se$1es a"d of the sa e #$ass. 2 Veri$y a %e"t$e a" had better f&#k the for o"ey. tha" a b&t#her boy for "othi"%. It is the fate of s&#h %ir$s to be f$i#ked yo&"%. "either $a*s so#ia$ or $e%a$ #a" pre1e"t it. 2 :i1e" opport&"ities 2 *ho has the $ike the #hi$dre" of the poor/ 2 a"d they *i$$ #op&$ate. It is the $a* of "at&re *hi#h "othi"% #a" th*art. ) a" "eed ha1e "o 4#o p&"#tio"s of #o"s#ie"#e4 2 as it is ter ed 2 abo&t ha1i"% s&#h %ir$s first. for ass&red$y he *i$$ ha1e do"e "o har . a"d has o"$y bee" a" a%e"t i" the i"e1itab$e. The #o"se3&e"#es to the fe a$e bei"% the sa e. *ho6e1er she ay fi"dst ha1e bee" f&#ked by. The first *eek of y ret&r" I te$e%raphed a eeti"% *ith ,. :etti"% "o rep$y I *e"t to her ho&se *hi#h *as e pty. I te$e%raphed the s#o&t. %ot "o respo"se. *e"t there a"d she had f$o*". b&t I fo&"d that her $etters *ere se"t to a "ei%hbo&ri"% #ha"d$er(s shop 2 I *rote there "a i"% a" appoi"t e"t i" the dark "ear HHHH a"d there fo&"d ,. *aiti"%. )$$ *as #ha"%ed. she $i1ed i" the #o&"try. *as "ot s&re if she #o&$d eet e. b&t if so at %reat risk. did"(t k"o* *he" or *here b&t i" a *eek *o&$d $et e k"o*. ;e dro1e thro&%h a park *hi#h *as o" the road to her statio" a"d fe$t ea#h other(s #ar"a$ a%e"ts. I beso&%ht her to %et o&t a"d $et &s f&#k a%ai"st a tree. She *as i"di%"a"t at the pro6 posa$. a"d it e"ded i" o&r fri%%i"% ea#h other i" the #ab. fa#e to fa#e. kissi"% a"d to"%&i"%. to the %reat i"0&ry of her bo""et. a"d a $itt$e soi$i"% of her si$k dress a"d y tro*sers. ;ho *o&$d #are *here sper fe$$ i" s&#h a" e"tra"#i"% ride. ) *eek after. a p$a#e of re"de-1o&s *as fo&"d. at a #o"1e"ie"t s"&% $itt$e ho&se *here *e et %e"era$$y. 2 7efore she(d take" a"ythi"% off b&t her bo""et a"d I y hat. *e f&#ked o" the bedside *ith i"te"se &t&a$ de$i%ht. +ire#t$y I(d &"#&"ted. *e both stripped start "aked a"d %ot i"to bed. dra"k #ha pa%"e there. a"d f&#ked a"d f&#ked a%ai" ti$$ y pe%o *o&$d stiffe" "o $o"%er5 f&#ked fo&r ti es. a %reat effort "o* for e. b&t "ot for her. 7&t fri%%i"% a"d %a ah&#hi"% a$*ays satisfied her as a fi"ish 2 $&#ki$y. The" o&r eeti"%s *ere at $o"%er i"ter1a$s apart. *hi#h o"$y ade the ore de$i#io&s. 7&t I a$as. a ob$i%ed to h&sba"d y stre"%th ore tha" for er$y. so the $o"% i"te"d1a$s s&it e better.
edit by glad 1B

VOLUME 11

;he" "e!t *e et. *e fo&"d that the istress of the estab$ish e"t had 1o$&pt&o&s photo%raphs. pi#t&res. a"d e"%ra1i"%s by h&"dreds. a"d o"e or t*o #hests f&$$ of the best a"d ba&diest books i" E"%$ish a"d Fre"#h. 2 ;e re1e$$ed i" the that day for a$$ *ere p$a#ed at o&r disposa$. 2 ;e sat fee$i"% ea#h other(s %e"ita$s bet*ee" o&r f&#ki"%s. $ooki"% a"d #o e"ti"% o" the artisti# disp$ay of "&dities a"d eroti# fa"#ies. a"d *ishi"% *e #o&$d parti#ipate i" s&#h perfor a"#es o&r6se$1es. They a*ake"ed ideas *hi#h had s$& bered i" e #ertai"$y. She said i" her a$so. b&t she a$*ays de#$ared that I had p&t desires i"to her head &"k"o*" before. ;e *ere *e$$ at#hed. Li1i"% far off "o*. *itho&t a a$e or fe a$e frie"d *ith *ho to ta$k abo&t se!&a$ities. ore tha" e1er "o* she $ooked to o&r days of eeti"%. a"d ho&rs of &"restrai"ed 1o$&pt&o&s"ess. )fter heari"% a$$ she had do"e at ho e e1e" to do esti# detai$s 2 *hi#h she *as fo"d of te$$i"% as sho*i"% her do esti# #o fort. 2 $&st a"d $o1e i" a$$ its *hi s a"d 1arieties *e ta$ked abo&t. 4+id yo& e1er do that/4 4+o yo& re#o$$e#t *he" I sho*ed yo& HHH(s pri#k/4 2 4;he" did so a"d so o##&r/4 So ra" o&r ta$k. ,o* ofte" he(d f&#ked her or %a ah&#hed her. ho* ofte" she(d fri%%ed herse$f. the sper he spe"t. a"d a$$ the do esti# ba&dy doi"%s *ere to$d e *ith de$i%ht. a"d si i$ar fra"k"ess e!a#ted fro e. 2 The" #a e *ishes. 4Let Mrs. H H H H H %et &s a"other *o a". yo& f&#k her *hi$st she %a ah&#hes e.4 *as a re3&est ade *hi$st after f&#ki"%. *e $aid reposi"% i" the bed. 2 I a%reed. 2 4Let her be sto&t. I(d $ike o"e as sto&t as Ca i$$e.4 2 these are the 1ery *ords said f&""i$y e"o&%h i" a ha$f sha ed fa#ed *ay 2 for abse"#e a"d the #ha"%e i" her #ir#& sta"#es. at first see ed to i pose so e st&pid odesty o" her. 2 7&t both of &s $iked to #a$$ a spade a spade. )$$ *as a##o p$ished. The abbess as I sha$$ #a$$ her. *e as#ertai"ed *o&$d pro#&re &s e1ery p$eas&re. tho o"$y #a&tio&s$y a"d fro ti e to ti e she dis#$osed her po*ers. ) 1ery p$& p a"d a$ ost fat. ha"dso e *o a" of t*o a"d t*e"ty *as o&r first #o pa"io". 2 4+o"(t $et e ask her. yo& say that yo& *a"t her to $i#k y #&"t 2 I do"(t *a"t her to thi"k that I *ish it.4 2 said ,. So it *as do"e. *e had #ha pa%"e. I stripped the p$& p o"e. the" asked ,. to $ook at her 3&i 2 *hi#h she *as $o"%i"% to do 2 a"d the" i"#ited her to the %a ah&#he. 7a&dy ta$k a"d *i"e raisi"% o&r $&st MY SECRET 6LIFE ade &s frie"ds soo". a"d Miss R. 0& ped at the idea of %a ah&#hi"% the other. The" "aked a$$ three <*ar *eather "o*=. Looki"%6%$asses arra"%ed so that ,. #o&$d see a$$. she $aid o" the bed6side *hi$st R. %a ah&#hed her. O" the bed by ,.(s side I a$so $aid. she fri%%i"% e d&ri"% her p$eas&re. 4)ha 2 :od 2 $i#k 3&i#ker. 2 I( spe"di"%.4 2 a"d she spe"t "ear$y p&$$i"% y pri#k off d&ri"% her first e#stasy. >a&si"% for a i"&te. R. re#o e"#ed. for ,. $ikes to #o"ti"&e &"i"terr&pted$y at that $&s#io&s %a e. ti$$ she has spe"t at $east t*i#e. It *as a $o1e$y si%ht to see ,. *ith her bea&tif&$ thi%hs. a"d the #ora$ $itt$e %ash set i" the $o1e$y #hest"&t hair. *hi#h R. he$d ope" for a i"&te to ad ire. The" her o&th set %reedi$y &po" it. her ha"ds &"der ,.(s b&tto#ks. the dark hair of
19

MY SECRET LIFE

R.(s ar pits 0&st peepi"%. her bi% *hite b&tto#ks "ear$y to&#hi"% her hee$s. I stooped do*" this ti e a"d peeped a$o"% the f&rro* past the b& ho$e. a"d #o&$d 0&st see the red e"d of her #&"t *ith the short #risp hair aro&"d it. The" stradd$i"% a#ross her *aist. y pri#k $ayi"% o" her ba#k bet*ee" her b$ade bo"es. I *at#hed the $o1e$y fa#e of ,. *hi#h i" her se!&a$ e#stasy is a $o1e$y si%ht. 4F&#k. f&#k her.4 she #ried to e. 7&t I *o&$d"(t. 'e!t i"&te sa* ,.(s $o1e$y eyes fi!ed o" i"e. *hi$st *ith soft #ries she spe"t. ) rest. ore #ha pa%"e. a dis#o&rse abo&t the p$eas&re of *o a" #&"t $i#ki"% *o a" a"d of e" doi"% it. a"d ,. a%ai" *as o" the bed. 2 4Oh. I( so $e*ed I *a"t a f&#k so.4 said R. 2 4,e($$ f&#k yo&. *o"(t yo&/4 2 I #o p$ied. F&rther ba#k o" the bed "o* the better to rea#h her #&"t *ith her to"%&e. *ith pi$$o*s &"der her head $ay ,. *he" R. re#o e"#ed her $i"%&a$ e!er#ise o" the s*eet a"d fresh6*ashed 3&i . I sta"di"% &p "o* at R.(s ba#k. 2 4F&#k her. a"d spe"d *he" I do.4 said ,. 2 R.(s b& to*ards e *as a$ ost too fat a" o"e as she be"t. so I ade her be"d $o*er. a"d the" bet*ee" the b&tto#k *e"t y pri#k. di1idi"% t*o *e$$ haired. 1ery fat $ips of her sa"#t& of p$eas&re. She ad0&sted her hei%ht to the e!er#ise *he" y tip *as *e$$ $od%ed. My ba$$s *ere soo" a%ai"st the b&tto#ks. e1ery i"#h of y pri#k &p a #&"t de$i#io&s$y $&bri#ated by its o*"er(s ra"di"ess. 2 4It(s &p her #&"t $o1e.4 I #ried. be%a" f&#ki"% a"d R. be%a" %a ah&#hi"%. )$$ "o* *as si$e"#e b&t the $ap "o* a"d the" of R.(s to"%&e o" ,.(s #&"t. 4She(s #o i"% dar$i"% 2 I sha$$ spe"d.4 2 I #ried at $e"%th. 2 4Oh 2:od 2 f&#k her. f&#k. s$ap her b& .4 #ried ,.. *rithi"% a"d si%hi"%. 2 My s$aps o" the fat arse re6so&"ded. as R. *"dithed a"d shi1ered *ith p$eas&re *hi$st $i#ki"% o". a"d both of &s spe"t as ,. spe"t &"6der the to"%&e titi$$atio". The" *ith s$obbered pri#k a"d *et #&"ts *e %ot &p. Soo" after sta"di"% by the bedside I f&#ked ,. *hi$st she fri%%ed Miss R. 'e1er *ere there three ba&dy o"es to%ether *ho e"0oyed the eroti# tri#ks ore tha" *e did. These de$i%htf&$ 1o$&pt&o&s e!er#ises *ere repeated *ith 1ariatio"s o" other days. R. s&#ked y pri#k a"d took its $ibatio" *hi$st I *as $yi"% f&$$ $e"%th o" the bed. ,. k"ee$i"% o1er y head. I $i#ki"% her #$itoris the $ooki"% %$asses so arra"%ed that ,. #o&$d see a$$. )"6other day I f&#ked R. *hi$st she fri%%ed ,. The" I p&t y pri#k i"to both *o e" a"d fi"ished i" R.(s #&"t. *hi#h #o p$eted that day(s a &se e"t. Soo" after*ards *e "oti#ed *a$es &po" R.(s #apa#io&s *hite b&tto#ks. It *as fro her $ast *hippi"% she said. That dis#$osed *hat i" ti e *as s&re to ha1e be6 #o e k"o*" to &s. That the abbess *as a" e!pert it f$a%e$$atio". that s*e$$s both o$d a"d yo&"% #a e &"der her e!perie"#ed ha"d. C&estio"ed. the abbess to$d &s a$$. *as i"deed pro&d of her perfor a"#es. she*ed &s the 1aried apparat&s *ith *hi#h she either ti#k$ed or b$ed the as#&$i"e b& s. a"d *o e"(s as *e$$. oI s&peri"te"ded e" f$o%%i"% fe a$e b& s. S&#h as the fat arsed R.(s *ere preferred. tho so e she said $ike< yo&"%er a"d thi""er b&tto#ks. So e bro&%ht a"< bir#hed a *o a" *ho they $iked a"d f&#ked.
edit by glad 8D

VOLUME 11

so e a spe#ia$ *o a" to bir#h the . They a$$ paid 1ery ha"d so e$y for b$eedi"% a fair pair of b&tto#ks. R. to$d &s that f$a%e$$atio" of her ba#kside ade he $e*ed a" ho&r after or so. She $iked the bir#h 0&st to h&rt s$i%ht$y the #&"t $ips. The" if she #o&$d"(t %et a". she fri%%ed herse$f 2 that so e %ir$s said it di< "ot affe#t the $e*ed$y 2 others that it did. 2 ; ta$ked 3&iet$y *ith the abbess abo&t this. 7oth ,. a I desired to see the operatio". a"d heard that so e e" $iked to be see" by other e" *he" bei"% f$o%%ed. If *e *o&$d #o e o" a #ertai" day. there *o&$d be the" a %e"t$e a" *ho had a taste for bei"% ade a spe#ta#$e. a"d she *o&$d arra"%e for &s to se 2 for pay of #o&rse. ;e *e"t o" the day b&t the a" did"(t appear. T*o $adies *ere ready *aiti"% to f$o% hi . The abbes said it did"(t atter. so ethi"% had detai"ed hi that *he" he disappoi"ted he a$*ays paid the o"ey for a$$ #o"#er"ed. O"e of the *as dressed as a ba$k %ir$. the other o"$y i" #he ise. s&#h *ere his orders. 2 She i" #he ise. *as a s*eet fa#ed. dark haired short ish %ir$ of "i"etee". *ith fi"e teeth. ;e asked her t o&r roo to take *i"e. a"d it e"ded i" ,H H H fri%%i"% he a"d y f&#ki"% her. the" i" y f&#ki"% ,.. *hi$st she $ooked at the other(s 3&i . a"d *e a%reed she *o&$d be better for o&r a oro&s %a es tha" R. 2 I *i$$ #a$$ this dark o"e 47$a#k.4 She had o"e of the ost de$i#ate. refi"ed. #o#k stiffe"i"%. s$i%ht$y $ipped. s$i%ht$y haired #&"ts I e1er sa*I it rese b$ed ,.(s #&"t years a%o. 7$a#k took at o"#e a fra"ti# $et#h for %a ah&#hi"% ,. 2 a"d *ho *o&$d"(t/ 2 ;he" y o&th #o1ers it. I #a" s#ar#e$y tear it a*ay fro it. )t o&r "e!t 1isit the f$a%e$$atio" #a e off. )s ,.. *ho(d o"$y her #he ise o". a"d I y shirt a"d *eari"% a ask. e"tered the roo . there *as a a" k"ee$i"% o" a $ar%e #hair at the foot of the bed. o1er *hi#h he *as be"di"%. O1er the seat a"d ba#k of the #hair *as a $ar%e to*e$ to re#ei1e his spe"di"%s. ,e had a *o a"(s dress o" t&#ked &p to his *aist. sho*i"% his "aked r& p a"d thi%hs. *ith his feet i" a$e so#ks a"d boots. O" his head *as a *o a"(s #ap tied #aref&$$y ro&"d his fa#e to hide *hiskers 2 if he had a"y 2 a"d he *ore a ha$f ask *hi#h $eft his o&th free. 2 )t his ba#k. sta"di"%. *as o"e yo&"%ish %ir$ ho$di"% a bir#h a"d dressed as a ba$$et da"#er. *ith petti#oats far &p abo1e her k"ees. a"d sho*i"% "aked thi%hs. ,er breasts *ere "aked. ha"%i"% o1er her stays a"d sho*i"% dark haired ar pits. )"other ta$$. *e$$ for ed. tho thi""ish fe a$e. "aked a$$ b&t boots a"d sto#ki"%s. *ith hair dyed a bri%ht ye$$o*. *hi$st her #&"t a"d ar pits( fri"%es *ere dark bro*". stood a$so at his ba#k 2 a bo$d. i"so$e"t $ooki"% bit#h *ho I o"e day f&#ked after she(d %a ah&#hed ,. 2 tho I did"(t $ike either her fa#e. #&"t. for . or a""er 2 b&t she *as "e* to e. ;hat he had do"e *ith the *o e" before *e e"tered *e *ere to$d after*a"dds by ye$$o* head. *as 1ery si p$e. ,e(d stripped both *o e" "aked. a"d sa* the o"e dress herse$f as a ba$$et %ir$. "othi"% ore. 'either had to&#hed his pri#k "or he their #&"ts. ;he" the door *as #$osed after *e
21

MY SECRET LIFE

e"tered. he *hispered to the abbess that he *a"ted to see y pri#k. +eter i"ed to %o thro the *ho$e perfor a"#e. I $ifted y shirt a"d she*ed it bi% b&t "ot stiff. ,e *a"ted to fee$ it b&t that I re6f&sed. 47e a %ood boy or Miss Ye$$o* <as I sha$$ #a$$ her= *i$$ *hip yo& hard.4 said the abbess. 2 4Oh 2 "o 2 "o pray do"(t.4 he *hispered i" rep$y. ,e spoke a$*ays i" *hispers. The" he said ,. *as $o1e$y a"d *a"ted to see her #&"t. *hi#h she ref&sed. ,e "e1er t&r"ed ro&"d d&ri"% this b&t re ai"ed k"ee$i"%. The" after #hi$dish ta$k bet*ee" hi a"d the abbess <he a$*ays i" *hispers=. 4'o* she sha$$ *hip yo&. yo& "a&%hty boy.4 said the abbess 2 a"d 4s*ish4 the rod des#e"ded hea1i$y &po" his r& p. 4Oho 2 ho 2 ho.4 he *hispered as he fe$t the t*i"%e. I o1ed ro&"d to the other side of hi *here I #o&$d see his pri#k ore p$ai"$y. It *as $o"%ish. pe"da"t. a"d the prep&#e #o1ered its tip "ear$y. 2 S*ish 2 s*ish 2 *e"t the bir#h. a"d a%ai" he #ried i" *hispers. 2 4,o. ho.4 2 , the" o1ed ro&"d to y side to see better 2 Ye$$o* head fro behi"d hi fe$t his pri#k 2 The abbess *i"ked at e 2 The" he $aid his head o" the bedstead fra e a"d %rasped it *ith both ha"ds *hi$st 1ery $eis&re$y the bir#h fe$$ o" hi a"d he #ried 4,o 2 ho4 2 ,is r& p %ot red a"d the" he #ried a$o&d 2 4Oh I #a"(t 2 the" s&"k his 1oi#e to a *hisper i" fi"ishi"% his se"te"#e 2 Ye$$o* head a%ai" fe$t his pri#k sti$$ "ot $ooki"% ro&"d. The" *as a rest a"d a $itt$e ta$k. he sti$$ speaki"% i" *hispers. The abbess treated hi $ike a #hi$d. I fe$t Ye$$o* head(s otte. she $ooki"% at ,. to see if she per itted e the $i#e"se. Ye$$o* head the" took &p the bir#h. a"d ,. a"d I o1ed to the other side of the bed. 7oth of &s e!#ited. ,.(s fa#e *as f$&shed *ith $&st. I fe$t her #&"t. a"d she y pe%o. "o* stiff. 4Look at those t*o.4 3&oth the abbess. ;e. a"d both the *o e" $a&%hed. 2 The patie"t had t&r"ed his head to $ook. b&t #o&$d see "othi"% b&t &s sta"di"%. 2 S*ish 2 s*ish. fe$$ hea1i$y the rod o" his arse. "o* 1ery red i"deed. 2 4Let e $i#k her #&"t.4 *hispered he. "oddi"% at ,. 2 She ref&sed. 2 4I($$ %i1e her fi1e po&"ds.4 he *hispered. ,. hesitated. b&t short of o"ey as &s&a$. at $e"%th she #o"se"ted. beside she *as $e*ed to her b& 6ho$e 2 4I sha$$ spe"d.4 she *hispered to e as she %ot o" to the bed a"d sayi"% a$o&d. 4Fi1e po&"ds. i"d.4 2 4,e($$ pay. he(s a %e"t$e a".4 &r &red the abbess. The" *as a spe#ta#$e s&#h as I "e1er sa* before "or sha$$ a%ai". ,. sett$ed o" the bed. thi%hs *ide apart. 3&i %api"%. $e%s o1er the bed fra e. #&"t #$ose &p to the 1i#ti . b&t too $o* for his to"%&e to rea#h the %oa$. The abbess. Miss Ye$$o* head a"d I. p&shed pi$$o* after pi$$o* &"der her $o1e$y b&r" ti$$ it *as &p to the re3&isite $e1e$. a"d %reedi$y he be%a" $i#ki"% it. I o1ed ro&"d hi a%ai". $ooki"% #&rio&s$y at his pri#k *hi#h *as "o* stiff. 24Let hi fee$ it.4 he *hispered ore $o&d$y tha" &s&a$. I fe$t a"d fri%%ed it for a se#o"d. ;hi$st I did so. s*ish 2 s*ish 2 fe$$ the rod o" his r& p. *hi#h *rithed. 2 4U 2 & 2 ,UM.4 2 he &r &red. his o&th f&$$ of ,.(s #&"t. 4)hrr.4 si%hed ,.. *hose $o1e$y fa#e e!pressed her p$eas&re. for she *as $e*ed. Ye$$o* head $aid ho$d of his pri#k. %a1e it t*o or three %e"t$e fri%s. a"d o&t sp&rted a sho*er of
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se e". The" he *as 3&iet *ith his o&th f&$$ o" ,.(s ope" 3&i . sti$$ Ye$$o* head #o"ti"&ed fri%%i"% his shri"ki"% or%a". 2 4,a1e yo& spe"t/4 2 said I. 4+a " it. I *as 0&st #o i"%.4 said ,.. 0o%%i"% her #&"t &p a%ai"st his o&th. *i$d for her spe"d. 7&t he *as $ife$ess. a$$ desire to $i#k her had %o"e. )t a hi"t fro the abbess *e *e"t to o&r bed6roo . 2 4F&#k e.4 2 O" the bed she %ot. her #&"t *et *ith his sa$i1a. y pri#k "oddi"% its *a"ts a"d $&st. &p I p$&"%ed it i" her *et #&"t. thr&st y to"%&e i"to her s*eet o&th. o&r sa$i1as po&red i"to ea#h other(s. a"d *e spe"t i" rapt&re. a$ ost before *e had be%a" the %$orio&s to a"d fro of y pri#k i" her $&bri#io&s a1e"&e. 'either of &s had see" s&#h a si%ht before. "e1er had either of &s e1e" see" a"y o"e f$o%%ed. a"d *e ta$ked abo&t it ti$$ the abbess #a e &p. The a" had $eft. b&t o"$y %a1e three so1erei%"s for ,.(s #o p$aisa"#e. 4'o do&bt she(s kept the other t*o.4 2 said ,. after6*ards. The yo&"% $adies *ere sti$$ be$o*. *o&$d *e $ike to ha1e a #hat *ith the / O&r passio"s *ere *e$$ ro&sed. ,. at o"#e said 4Yes.4 a"d &p they #a e. ;e had #ha pa%"e. %i1i"% the abbess so e. the" a$$ ta$ked abo&t f$a%e$$atio". The yo&"%er *o a" sho*ed arks of the bir#h o" her b& . a"d *he" the abbess had %o"e. *e heard ore abo&t the ri#h 1i#ti . *ho both had see" before a"d *ho *as bet*ee" fifty a"d si!ty. ,e a$*ays had t*o *o e". b&t "ot a$*ays they t*o. they(d "e1er k"o*" hi a$$o* stra"%ers to be prese"t *he" he *as f$o%%ed. a"d he *a"ted to k"o* if ,. *o&$d *hip hi so e day. <She "e1er *o&$d.= The" *e a$$ fo&r stripped. both *o e" %a ah&#hed ,. a"d *hi$st the yo&"%er o"e *as doi"% that I f&#ked Ye$$o* head. *hose #&"t I #o&$d"(t bear. The" she %a ah&#hed ,. a"d I *itho&t a"y effort f&#ked &p the other %ir$ a"d fo&"d her #&"t de$i#io&s. 2 I" the i"ter1a$s *e $aid pe$$ e$$ o" the bed to%ether. topsy 2 t&r1y. 2 arsy 2 1ersy. a"d a"y ho* a"d i" a$$ sorts of *ays. $ooked at ea#h other(s #&"ts. the t*o *o e" both s&#ked y pri#k to stiff"ess b&t "o f&rther a"d Ye$$o* head p&t her fi"%er &p y b& as I f&#ked the yo&"%er %ir$ at the bedside fee$i"% ,.(s $o1e$y s*eet #&"t *hi$st I did so. a"d as her r& p *as to*ards e I paid the fi"%er #o p$i e"t to her b& 6ho$e. 2 ;e had #ha pa%"e ti$$ a$$ *ere ti%ht. a"d %$oried i" ost &"6restrai"ed ba&di"ess i" a#t a"d ta$k. ;e a$$ pissed. a"d I fe$t their a ber strea s *hi$st iss&i"%. a"d pissed yse$f a%ai"st Ye$$o* head(s #&"t. ,. ho$di"% the basi". 2 The" fati%&ed *ith $&stf&$ e!er#ises 2 ,. e!#epted 2 *e had stro"% tea. a"d *e"t o&r *ays. ) 1eritab$e or%y. a"d a" e!tra1a%a"t$y e!pe"si1e o"e. 'o* it *as 1ery #$ear a"d fra"k$y a1o*ed by ,.. that o&r eeti"%s *ere the de$i%ht of her $ife. that tho happy at ho e they *ere frie"d$ess "ear$y. a"d she $ooked for*ard to eeti"% e *ith the %reatest p$eas&re. "ot o"$y to te$$ e a$$. b&t to i"d&$%e *ith e i" re i"is#e"#es. a"d ha1e ba&dy after"oo"s *ith other *o e". 4)"d it(s yo&r fa&$t. yo&(1e to$d e ore tha" a$$ the e" a"d *o e" to%ether *ho I(1e k"o*".4 2 7&t there *ere hi"dra"#es. So eti es t*o or three *eeks i"ter1e"ed bet*ee" o&r eeti"%s at the abbess(5 tho ea#h eeti"% bro&%ht so e ba&dy "o1e$ty.
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MY SECRET LIFE

;he" "e!t *e et *e had $itt$e 7$a#k a"d "ot Miss R. for o&r #o pa"io". a"d 7$a#k a"d I to%ether %a1e ,. her #o p$ete dose of p$eas&re. T*o f&#ks. a fri%. a"d three or fo&r %a ah&#hes. so e by e. so e by 7$a#k. see ed the 3&a"t& *hi#h she #a$$ed a 0o$$y ba&dy after"oo". )$$ *ere p$eased. for 7. $o1ed %a ah&#hi"% ,.. a"d bei"% %a ah&#hed by e. a"d tho so yo&"%. *i$$i"%$y s&#ked y pe%o to its $i3&id #&$ i"atio". 2 ,. sti$$ ref&si"% to do that. or to to&#h 7.(s 3&i *ith her to"%&e. 2 ;hat *ith #o"1ersatio" abo&t f&#ki"% i" %e"era$ 2 of the eroti# #apri#es of e". of o"ey %ai"ed a"d spe"t. se!&a$ i"#ite e"ts. et#. et#. 2 i" *hi#h #o"1ersatio"s the abbess 0oi"ed "o* at ti es 2 *e passed ost 1o$&pt&o&s after"oo"s or e1e"i"%s. 2 7&t the #ost *as hea1y 2 for the abbess( ho&se *as 3&iet a"d e!pe"si1e. a"d #ha pa%"e a"d a se#o"d %ay $ady added &#h to the s& tota$ of the e!pe"ses of eeti"% ,. The abbess *as the ost ki"d$y *o a" of her #$ass I e1er k"e* a"d s&perior to her b&si"ess. her ho&se the "i#est a"d 3&ietest.

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VOLUME 11

Chapter III O" the Tha es E ba"k e"t. ) *o a"(s $et#h. Li$ia" the a#tress. I"1itatio" to di""er. I"1itatio" to f&#ki"%. Ei%ht ho&rs( a &se e"ts. O" a s&"shi"i"% day i" )&%&st that year at abo&t 8IJD p. . I *as passi"% a theatre "ear to the Tha es a"d $oitered to read the pro%ra e. s#ar#e$y a"y peop$e *ere abo&t. O" the foot*ay stood a ta$$ish. dark eyed a"d e!#eedi"%$y ha"dso e *o a". *e$$ dressed a"d $ooki"% abo&t fo&r a"d t*e"ty. ta$ki"% to a short. shabby o$d *o a". the sort of *o a" *ho is fre3&e"t$y the frie"d a"d aid of hi%h #$ass har$ots a"d a#tresses. ofte"ti es i"deed their re$ati1es. I *as 1ery fit that day. *as dressed %ai$y. had had a %ood $&"#heo". *o a"ki"d $ooked $o1e$y i" y eyes. b&t I(d "o i"te"tio" of seeki"% their a#3&ai"ta"#e i" the f$esh. tho y pe%o *as a $itt$e o" the s*e$$ for I(d f&#ked "o o"e re#e"t$y. a"d had had "o "o1e$ty si"#e y ret&r" to E"%$a"d. Fe* peop$e *ere i" Lo"do". Ma"y frai$ $adies *ho #o&$d "ot afford to $ea1e *ere i" to*". their $o1ers *ere abse"t. a"d their #&"ts issed the stret#h a"d $ibatio"s *hi#h they $o1ed. >eop$e at hote$s *ere ha1i"% $&"#heo". Str&#k *ith the $ady I $ooked at her *ith ad iratio". She fi!ed her eyes o" i"e. t&r"i"% her head to*ards e as I approa#hed. a"d t&r"i"% her head ro&"d dire#t$y I had passed to $ook after e. I did the sa e. a"d $ooki"% ha$f o1er y sho&$der o&r eyes a%ai" et. I t&r"ed y head a*ay #o&rteo&s$y. b&t a 1o$&pt&o&s ti"%$e *e"t thro e as I tho&%ht of her #&"t. 2 *hi#h of #o&rse I tho&%ht of. I s$a#ke"ed y pa#e i"1o$&"tari$y. I had "o ob0e#t beyo"d seei"% her bea&ty. a"d *a$ked o" a $itt$e. a"d the" $ooki"% at so e ob0e#t as a" e!#&se t&r"ed ha$f ro&"d to $ook at her. She *as sti$$ $ooki"% after e5 be#ko"ed *ith a toss of her head. a"d the o$d *o a" *e"t off. I"sti"#ti1e$y a"d *itho&t tho&%ht I ret&r"ed. a"d i" a se#o"d *e *ere #$ose to%ether. 4;hat are yo& stari"% at e for. do yo& k"o* e/4 said she *ith a s i$e. 2 4'o 2 be#a&se yo& are so $o1e$y.4 2 She $a&%hed. I $a&%hed. a"d there *as a i"&te(s si$e"#e. 2 She see i"%$y *as *aiti"% for e to ake ad1a"#es. b&t as I did"(t said hesitati"%$y. 4Co e ho e a"d di"e *ith e.4 )*ake"ed f&$$y to the positio". "ot *ishi"% a"y ore $iaiso"s. thi"ki"% that a fi1er if "ot a te""er *o&$d be e!pe#ted. a"d I k"e* "ot *hat e$se. a"d ha1i"% "either o"ey or ti e. 4Sorry I #a"(t I(1e 0&st had $&"#heo".4 2 4So ha1e I. b&t I said di"e.4 2 a"d her fa#e I fa"#ied $ooked $i1i"%$y at e. I *as 4f$& o!ed4 by this 1ery #$ear i"1itatio" to f&#ki"%. a"d as I ha1e a$*ays bee" fra"k *ith *o e". a"d sa* that this *o&$d be a" e"tertai" e"t beyo"d y ea"s. re#o1ered y reaso" *hi#h *as fai$i"% &"der her fas#i"atio". a"d the #ar"a$ ideas a"d #&riosities spri"%i"% &p. a"d aki"% y pe%o thi#ke" a"d e$o"%ate *ith 1o$&pt&o&s thri$$s. I to$d her I *as sorry. *as "either yo&"% "or ri#h. 4So &st"(t tho I $o"%ed for yo& the i"sta"t I sa* yo&.
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2 besides yo&(d be tired of e soo".4 4The" yo& #a" %o.4 2 she $a&%hi"% re6 p$ied. 2 47&t I ha1e"(t t*o so1erei%"s i" y po#ket.4 2 4;e$$. keep the there 2 #o e4 2 $ooki"% i" her s i$i"% fa#e. tho&%hts of her #&"t #a e. y #o#k ere#ted itse$f. 4Is it far/4 2 4O"$y at H H H H H. #o e. I( 1ery $o"e$y.4 ) #ro*d of tho&%hts r&shed thro y brai". +esire for her 2 *as it a trap 2 *as she arried 2 o kept. 2 S&ppose I a #a&%ht 2 has she a $et#h for e/ 2 If so I #a"(t f&#k as &#h as she($$ *a"t5 these 0& b$ed i" y head aki"% e irreso$&te. 2 4)re yo& a" a#6tress/4 2 4Yo&(re #&rio&s.4 2 4Married/4 2 4'o.4 2 4,a1e yo& a frie"d/4 2 4Yo&(re 1ery #&rio&s.4 Sayi"% that she ha$f t&r"ed a*ay. The" desire for her r&shed thro&%h y brai" a"d body 2 I sho&$d $ose her. 2 4Very *e$$.4 2 She $a&%hed. ) %ro*$er passed &s. i"to it *e %ot. a"d i" doi"% so a%ai" I said 4I( a poor a".4 2 4So yo& said.4 The #ab dro1e off. the" I kissed her a"d she e. 2 4Yo& are so $o1e$y.4 2 4+o yo& thi"k so4 The" the #o"1ersatio" stopped. I *o"deri"% ho* the affair *o&$d e"d. Soo" after *e *ere at her ho&se. ) pertish6 a""ered da -e$ ope"ed the door. The di"i"% roo *as ha"dso e$y f&r"ished o" the %ro&"d f$oor. *here for a i"&te the $ady $eft e. The first f$oor to *hi#h I soo" o&"ted *as ha"dso er. a"d I sa* thro a door a0ar a bedroo . thro *hi#h peeped y $ady sayi"% 4I( o"$y #ha"%i"% y dress.4 2 ,er "a e she(d to$d e i" the #ab. I pro ised "ot to re1ea$ it a"d sha$$ #a$$ her Li$ia". tho "either *ord "or $etter e1e" pho"eti#a$$y rese b$e her tr&e "a e. I" fi1e i"&tes she appeared i" a #har i"% s& er(s dress. The" I sa* that she *as o$der tha" I(d tho&%ht. *as perhaps se1e" a"d t*e"ty. The ser1a"t bro&%ht i" #ha pa%"e. i#e. a"d fr&it. She dra"k thirsti$y. I b&t #a&tio&s$y. for I(d dr&"k *e$$ at $&"#heo". I(d "ot take" the s$i%htest $iberty beyo"d kissi"% her *he" i" the #ab. "o* I #$osed to her o" the sofa. e!to$$i"% her bea&ty. sayi"% I(d bee" str&#k *ith it o" the i"sta"t I sa* her a"d a%ai" I kissed. 4;hy did yo& %o a*ay the"/4 2 4I ref$e#ted.4 2 4O" *hat/4 2 4I did"(t k"o* *hat to do. *hat e!a#t$y yo& ea"t. the" y #o#k s&dde"$y stiffe"ed. a"d I *o"dered *hat sort of #&"t yo& had. a"d stopped.4 2 I rep$ied. b&rsti"% o&t i"to $&stf&$ phrases. She fe$$ ba#k o" the sofa s#rea i"% *ith $a&%hter. 2 4Yo& are a ba&dy de1i$. I tho&%ht yo& *ere.4 2 The" *e kissed. a%ai". for the i#e *as broke" a"d I h&%%ed her to e. 4'o* I sha$$ fi"d o&t *hat it(s $ike.4 )s I spoke y fi"%ers *e"t &p her #$othes a"d bet*ee" the $ips of he"d 3&i . She o"$y #$osed her thi%hs as ost *o e" do *he" take" &"a*ares 2 e!#epti"% thoro&%h6pa#ed *hores. Resisti"% s$i%ht$y 2 a ere sha 2 $a&%hi"% a$$ the ti e a"d #a$$i"% e a ba&dy de1i$. I %ot her #$othes 2 "o* o"$y a #he ise a"d the fro#k 2 &p to her thi%hs. sa* the tria"%&$ar bro*" thi#ket. a"d be"di"% kissed "ear to it.
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VOLUME 11

p&tti"% y f&rthest ha"d ro&"d a de$i#io&s$y soft. #oo$ ha&"#h. She kept her thi%hs #$osed. 2 4Ca"(t yo& *ait/ Ti$$ *e ha1e a %$ass ore *i"e/4 2 7&t I "o* o" the ra . s$id do*" &po" y k"ees. b&ried y "ose a"d o&th. o" thi%hs a"d be$$y. a"d ha"ds p&shed ro&"d her ha&"#hes p&$$ed her to*ards e. S$o*$y her b& #a e to the sofa(s ed%e. S&dde"$y I for#ed her thi%hs apart. y o&th *e"t do*" bet*ee" the as *ith a fi"a$ rapid p&$$ they ope"ed. $ea1i"% her s*eet s$it ready to y $ips *hi#h #o1ered the soft s&rfa#e. a"d as they to&#hed it o&t shot y to"%&e sear#hi"% for her spot of p$eas&re. La&%hi"%. sayi"%. 4'o* do"(t 2 I do"(t $ike that. 2 Oh do"(t 2 yo& beast 2 oho 2 $o#k the door the".4 #a e at $ast as the %a ah&#he a$ready be%a" to tease her. for she *as $e*ed I k"e*. I r&shed a"d $o#ked it. a"d ret&r"i"% fe$$ &po" y k"ees a%ai". She d"dopped her #$othes. sayi"%. 4Co e to the bedroo .4 2 7&t y $et#h *as stro"% o" e. I *as e"a o&red "o* of %a ah&#hi"%. the s#e"t of her s*eet. fresh *ashed #&"t had ro&sed that $et#h a"d I p&shed her ba#k. thre* &p her #$othes to her otte. a"d a%ai" %e"t$y p&$$ed her to*ards e by her ha&"#hes. ,er b& #a e to the sofa(s ed%e. her thi%hs *ide"ed apart e!pe#ta"t of her p$eas&re. "ot a *ord ore she &ttered as I p&shed both ha"ds &"der the $o1e$y *hite #o$& "s ti$$ I he$d her #oo$ i1ory b&tto#ks. The" y to"%&e fo&"d her #$itoris a"d p$ayed *ith it. The" I fe$$ ba#k for a hasty %$a"#e at the rosy sp$it. p&$$ed aside the fat. soft. si$ky ed%ed $ips to see the i""er treas&re. the" %reedi$y a%ai" y o&th #$osed o" its fa#e a"d y to"%&e #aressed the $itt$e red b&tto". the seat of p$eas&re i" this a o&ro&s %a e. ,o* de$i#io&s fe$t the s ooth red ope"i"% as y to"%&e ra" o1er it9 The" sett$i"% o" the rosy b&d it p$ayed a%ai". She fe$t the $&s#io&s ti#k$e dire#t$y. 2 4)her 2 aher.4 she si%hed 3&ite soft$y. +e$i#io&s are the &r &rs of a bea&ty as se!&a$ p$eas&re %ai"s o" her *ith 1o$&pt&o&s thri$$s. a"d her #&"t stiffe"i"% ti%hte"s for a spe"d. a"d the soft e!&datio" #o es fro its s&rfa#e. ready to i"%$e *ith the a"s( sper . as it throbs fro hi i" f&#ki"%. S&dde"$y *ith that si"%&$ar desire to ha1e a$$ the p$eas&res at o"#e. I $o"%ed to f&#k her a"d stopped. b&t restrai"ed yse$f k"o*i"% that soo" y pri#k *o&$d be i" her. 2 )$$ *as si$e"#e as y to"%&e *orked "i b$y. ti$$ 4)her. ,aa.4 2 I dre* ba#k to $ook at the $o1e$y ope"ed #$eft. 2 4Ohoo 2 do"(t stop.4 she &r &red. O" I *e"t $i#ki"%. %raspi"% her b&tto#ks "o* ore f&$$y as she hea1ed the &p to he$p y p$a#i"% the . y to"%&e ra#ed o" yie$di"% its sa$i1a. oiste"i"% her s$it fro otte to b& ho$e 2 %e"t$e si%hs. soft &r &rs #o e. those a"d the p$ash of y to"%&e o" her *et p&$py 1&$1a a$o"e dist&rb the si$e"#e. her #$itoris stiffe"ed. I fe$t it stiffe" &" istakab$y. 2 So e *o e"(s do. She p&t both ha"ds &po" y head p&$$i"% it to her. as if y o&th *as "ot #$ose e"o&%h to her #&"t. her thi%hs be%a" to tre b$e. her #&"t hea1ed &p a%ai"st y o&th. 4)herr 2aha 2 aher 2 dar$i"% 2 aher.4 She had spe"t. ;ith o&sta#he drippi"%. I $ooked at her oiste"ed "ot#h "o* sheddi"% its 0&i#es. as she $ay *ith eyes #$osed a"d thi%hs apart. The" sta"di"% &p a"d
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MY SECRET LIFE

p&$$i"% o&t y throbbi"% pro#rea"t too$. 4Let e f&#k dar$i"%.4 7e"di"% I #$osed o" her. y pri#k *as *ithi" a" i"#h of its %oa$. *he" she #$osed her thi%hs. p&shed e a*ay a"d %ot &p s i$i"% at y ere#tio". 2 4'o 2 *ait. yo& de1i$ 2 yo& k"o* ho* to %a ah&#he.4 2 a"d kissi"% e $aid ho$d of y #&"t stopper %i1i"% it a %e"t$e s3&ee-e 4Oh 2 oh 2 it(s stiff.4 2 7&t she ref&sed y e"try. *e sipped the #oo$ #ha pa%"e a"d ta$ked. a"d y dood$e shr&"k so e*hat. *hat as it does at ti es *he" de$ayed i" doi"% i" its *ork. )bo&t se!&a$ p$eas&res ra" o&r ta$k a"d I asto"ished her. She said I *as 4) ba&dy prof$i%ate.4 2 ;e *ere kissi"% 3&iet$y. she ha"d$i"% y f$a i"% pe%o. I her $&bri#io&s %ap. ;hat b$issf&$ o e"ts those. ho* $itt$e said 2 ho* $o* the to"e9 The" I ro&sed her $&st. she $apsed i"to si$e"#e *ith the 1o$&pt&o&s #&rre"ts i" her b$ood y fi"%ers %e"erated. 4Let(s f&#k or I sha$$ spe"d.4 Si$e"t$y she arose at o"#e a"d *e *e"t to the bedroo . There fi$$ed *ith desire for ea#h other. i" a i"&te I stripped to y shirt. she to #he ise. a"d po&red o&t *ater i" a basi". 2 4'o dear do"(t *ash yo&r #&"t.4 2 4Oh fie 2 I &st. its *et.4 2 4'o. "o. I $ike yo&r sp&"k i" it.4 2 4Oh fie.4 2 I p&$$ed her &p ere she #o&$d sp$ash the orifi#e 2 4I $ike it *et.4 2 4Oh fie4 2 The" o" the bed. ad for ea#h other(s p$eas&re %i1er. for the e"tra"#i"% 0&"#tio" of the t*o. 2 for the f&#k 2 &p *e"t y shirt to "e#k. &p *e"t her #he ise abo1e t*o $o1e$y %$obes. a"d &p her #&"t I r&shed y pri#k. 2 4Oh "ot so hard.4 2 )"d *e *ere o"e a"d $ay e"tra"#ed i" the $o1e$y 0&"#tio" of o&r %e"ita$s. I p&t y fi"%er do*" to fee$ the soft $ips of her "ot#h e"#$osi"% %e"t$y y pe%o. the" i" her soft a"d %$o*i"% $&bri#io&s sheath &p a"d do*" o1ed y pri#k. 2 4)her 2 $o1e 2 f&#k.4 2 I &r &red. 2 4Yhes. f&#k e dar$i"%.4 she rep$ied. The b$issf&$ o e"t #a e. I fe$t the #o"tra#tio"s of her #&"t. the 0erks of her i1ory b&tto#ks. the" be$$y to be$$y. *ri%%$i"% y pri#k *ith short thr&sts as if y ba$$s *o&$d ro$$ i"to her #&"t. y $o1e shaft pe"etrate to her *o b. o&t throbbed thi#k. boi$i"% sp&"k i" torre"ts i"to her. a"d *ith to"%&es to&#hi"%. sa$i1as f$o*i"%. idst kisses a"d $o1i"% &r &rs. %raspi"% ea#h other arses. *e do-ed off i"to the E$ysi& of h& a"ity. )*ake"i"% soo". y pri#k had bare$y $eft the s*eet e bra#e of her se!. *he" pear$y drops of sp&"k *ere tri#k$i"% do*" bet*ee" her thi%hs. ha"%i"% to the soft a&b&r" #&r$s. She $ay $a"%&id$y per itti"% a$$. ti$$ I thr&st a fi"%er &p the red a1e"&e i"to the e o$$ie"t %$&ti"o&s o&t#o e of o&r p$eas&res. 2 4)ha. yo& 6beast.4 said she risi"%. The" o" the por#e$ai" she s3&atted. a"d ba&dy sti$$. I to$d her I $o1ed both the so&"d a"d the attit&de. p&t y ha"d do*" a"d #a&%ht a" a ber strea . The" *e p&rified o&r %e"ita$s. a"d fresh. a"d %ay. a"d $o1i"% ore tha" e1er. *e"t ba#k to #ha pa%"e. The" soo" a%ai" ba#k to the bed. *here tra"3&i$ "o* I $ooked at her se#ret #har s. ,o* p$eased she see ed to $et e. She had a $o1e$y bro*" head of hair. a"d her eyes *ere of a" &"&s&a$$y deep b$&e 2 I had tho&%ht the dark bro*" *he" first I "oti#ed her 2 a"d *ith
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VOLUME 11

the $o1e$iest $o"% eye$ashes. s a$$ish "ose. a"d %ood teeth tho i" a $ar%e o&th. #o p$eted o"e of the s*eetest. yet bo$dish fa#es. 7&t as I fo&"d i" the de$i%hts of $o1e. that bo$d"ess #ha"%ed to the softest. ost 1o$&pt&o&s e!pressio". She *as o"e of those *ho $ooked hea1e"$y *he" bei"% f&#ked. She *as ta$$ish a"d i"#$i"i"% to be sto&t. the #&r1es a"d #o"to&rs fro hips to feet *ere $o1e$y. her b& of perfe#t shape a"d bea&ty. her breasts $ar%e a"d s$i%ht$y pe"da"t. Taki"% her a$$ i" a$$ she *as perfe#t. ;e$$ i%ht the p&b$i# ha1e thro"%ed to see her. ,er #&"t *as o1ershado*ed by a sp$e"did soft #&r$y b&sh of $i%htish #hest"&t o" a f&$$ p$& p otte. fro *hi#h ope"ed o"e of the prettiest. f&$$ $ipped po&ti"% #$efts redde"i"% i"*ards to a$ ost a r&by o"e $i"e. a"d de$i#ate$y fri"%ed *ith hair *hi#h stopped short of its $o*er e"d. her b& ho$e *as hair$ess. The "y phae *ere s a$$ a"d de$i#ate. the #$itoris $o"%ish a"d easi$y see". a"d a$$ *as of ha"dso e a"d of deepest #ora$ ti"t. She had a ski" of that s&rprisi"% *hite"ess *hi#h is rare$y fo&"d e!#epti"% a o"% red haired *o e". It s e$t fresh a"d s*eet $ike a$ o"ds. I" the e!#iti"% i"spe#tio" I "o* "oti#ed this. a"d at o"#e be%a" a%ai" kissi"% her thi%hs. &p to her #e"tra$ #har . a"d as I ope"ed the $o1e$y "ot#h a"d fi"%ered it the aro a rose i"to y "ostri$s a"d I $o"%ed to %a ah&#he her. 2 My $o1e of $i#ki"% a *o a" i"#reases $ar%e$y. a"d is "o* o"e of the %reatest p$eas&res of y $ife. 2 4;hat a de$i#io&s s e$$ yo&r #&"t has. Let e $i#k the $o1e$y #$eft a%ai".4 ,er thi%hs *ide"ed apart. she yie$ded *ith e!pe#ta"t p$eas&re. y o&th #$ose o" her %ap. y to"%&e %ai"ed her #$itoris a"d o1ed ti$$ her thi%hs 3&i1ered *ith p$eas&re. a"d the" I stopped. 2 4Oh 2 %o o".4 7&t a"other $et#h #a e o". 4I($$ $ay a"d %a ah&#he yo&.4 2 Mo&"ti"% the bed she ade *ay for e. 2 I t&r"ed her o" her side. $aid y head a%ai"st o"e thi%h a"d $ifti"% the other &p 2 ho* 3&iet$y she aided e 2 i"serted y to"%&e. titi$$ated the" stopped a%ai" to tease her. the" asked her to take y pe%o i"to her pretty o&th. 2 4)h. "o I *o"(t.4 O" I *e"t %a ah&#hi"% a"d a%ai" stopped. 2 4Oho 2 %o o" 2 yo&($$ dri1e e ad. I *as 0&st #o i"%.4 2 4Take the tip i" yo&r o&th the".4 2 7$a-i"% *ith se"s&a$ passio" she o1ed her head a"d took it. 2 I fe$t the #&"t $ike fee$ o" its tip as she #$asped e to her by y b&tto#ks. )%ai" y o&th #$osed o" her $&s#io&s %ap $i#ki"% her #$itoris "i b$y. spas odi# t*it#hi"%s of her b& a"d #&"t #a e o". she si%hed. she &r &red. 4Oho 2 3&i#ker.4 2 ) sh&dder of her be$$y. a press&re of he"d #&"t to y o&th. a #ry of p$eas&re a"d the deed *as do"e. She(d re$i"3&ished y pri#k as her spe"di"% #a e o" <they a$$ do so at that s&pre e o e"t= $ea1i"% it p&$sati"%. red hot. r&by tipped. b&rsti"%. a$ ost ready to i"&"date her. as I rose a"d p&shed her o" to her ba#k. *i$d to sheathe it i" her %$o*i"% $&bri#io&s a1e"&e. 7&t she ro$$ed off o" the other side of the bed $a&%hi"% a"d ref&si"% e. 2 4'ot yet 2 *ait a bit.4 2 She %&essed perhaps that y f&#ki"% po*er *as $i ited. y %a ah&#hi"% &"$i ited.

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MY SECRET LIFE

I"to the sitti"% roo I fo$$o*ed he"d. a"other bott$e of #ha pa%"e *as bro&%ht 2 both of &s %ot f&dd$ed. the" ba#k to bed. 2 4Let(s be 3&ite "aked.4 2 4)$$ ri%ht.4 2 She *as ba&dy "o*. ready for a"ythi"%. 4I($$ p&$$ yo&r boots off.4 2 4)$$ ri%ht.4 2 Layi"% *ith her ba#k o" the bed I p&$$ed a$$ off. $ifti"% &p her $e%s i" doi"% it. to see her #&"t. $a&%hi"% a"d ta$ki"% abo&t it a$$ the ti e. )%ai" she pissed. y ha"d be"eath the strea . the" both start "aked o&"ted the bed. )%ai" a pre$i i"ary %a ah&#he. y pe%o for a i"&te bet*ee" her $ips. the" *ith a sheet o1er &s. "aked. side by side *e fe$t ea#h other(s f$esh. o&r ha"ds ro1ed e1ery6*here *ith a oro&s de$i%ht. ti$$ o&r fi"%ers sett$ed o" pri#k a"d #&"t. The" o&"ti"% her. #$aspi"% ea#h other(s b&tto#ks. *ith kisses. to"%&e to to"%&e. a%ai" *e f&#ked i" hea1e"$y tra"sports a"d the" fe$$ fast as$eep. It *as ha$f past fi1e *he" *e a*ake"ed. >&tti"% o" her %o*". 2 4I &st %i1e orders abo&t di""er4 3&oth she. 2 4I #a""ot stay.4 2 4Yo& &st.4 2 )" ho&r *as spe"t part$y i" bed y fi"%ers sear#hi"% her %$&ti"o&s %ap. a"d she ha"d$i"% e fro s#rot& to %$a"d. 2 ;e the" dressed. had a "i#e di""er. a"d a%ai" *e"t to bed. I %a ah&#hed her ti$$ she *as e!ha&sted. the" f&#ked her a%ai". fi"ished yse$f a"d $eft. 2 Ei%ht ho&rs of ost de$i#io&s 1aried #o pa"io"ship had bee" i"e. 7efore I $eft the o"ey a%ai" a""oyed e. ;as it possib$e that this $o1e$y *o a" had si p$y a $et#h for e/ I tho&%ht. 2 4Ca" I b&y yo& a"ythi"% dear. are yo& short of #ash/4 2 I sta ered. 2 4'o. 7ri"% e so e f$o*ers to orro*4 2 kissi"% e 2 I did so "e!t e1e"i"% *hi#h I spe"t i" %a ah&#hi"% her &#h a"d f&#ki"% her a $itt$e. 7&t she *as satisfied a"d pressed e to see her a%ai". 2 4)s a frie"d.4 2 said she *ith e phasis. I &st abbre1iate the rest. 2 That "i%ht *e ta$ked abo&t o&rse$1es. 4;ho a"d *hat *as I/4 2 4I sha$$ o"$y te$$ yo& $ies if yo& ask e.4 2 4Te$$ a*ay.4 2 a"d I to$d $ies. 2 She *as a" a#tress. I had see" her o" the sta%e. 2 I" a fe* days she *as %oi"% to ) eri#a. She(d had a 3&arre$ *ith her $o1er *ho had kept her 2 tho she %ai"ed a %ood i"#o e 2 a"d he(d $eft her a *eek a%o. The ho&se a"d f&r"it&re had bee" %i1e" her by hi . Si"#e he(d $eft she(d "ot bee" f&#ked. 2 4'o. a"d yo& are *ro"%. I ha1e"(t. I ha1e"(t &sed y fi"%er.4 4'o *o"der that the $&s#io&s. hot b$ooded $ady *a"ted a f&#k. *he" the $&#ky #ha"#e for e thre* her i" y *ay a"d I be#a e her se"s&a$ fa"#y. 2 4Yo&(re a $o1e$y bedfe$$o*.4 said I. 2 4)"d yo& are the sa e. I *ish *e #o&$d be $o1ers b&t yo& say its i possib$e.4 2 Three years after*ards sa* her a%ai" o" the sta%e i" Lo"do". b&t *e ha1e "e1er et si"#e Eshe after*ards arried I be$ie1e. a"d disappeared #ertai"$y.F

edit by glad

JD

VOLUME 11

Chapter IV )" id$e day i" the o&ter s&b&rbs. 7read a"d #heese at the p&b$i# ho&se. The sho* a"(s da&%hter Git. O" the road. )%ai"st a fie$d %atepost. O" stra* i" a #a$f shed. I" a bar". ) ast&rbati"% i$$er(s boy. Epito e of 1o$&pt&o&s a &se e"ts *ith ,. ) fe a$e trio a"d yse$f. Cop&$atio". for"i#atio". irr& i"atio". 7& 6di%itatio". #&""ito"%&i"%. a"d #&""i6di$doi"%. Later o" this year #a e other $&#k for e. 2 O" a &%%y isty or"i"% to*ards the e"d of O#tober. I *as at a sessio"s ho&se at the e!tre e east of Lo"do". ha1i"% to y a""oya"#e bee" s& o"ed as *it"ess i" a#tio" of a frie"d of i"e. a%ai"st a far er *hose #art had da a%ed his #arria%e *he" dri1i"% e. O" arri1i"% I fo&"d to y f&rther a""oya"#e that the tria$ *as postpo"ed. This i"for atio" se"t had "e1er rea#hed e. It *as "ear a poor 1i$$a%e. a #o&p$e of i$es fro the Tha es i" a" a%ri#&$t&ra$ distri#t. ,a1i"% "othi"% to do a"d "ot ha1i"% e1er see" the "ei%hbo&rhood. I stro$$ed abo&t. *e"t i"to the #h&r#h a"d so o". The" fee$i"% h&"%ry 2 ha1i"% $eft ho e ear$y 2 e"tered a s a$$ p&b$i# ho&se. i" fro"t of *hi#h stood three or fo&r sho* a"(s 1a"s. I"side at the bar *ere the sho* a" a"d *ife dri"ki"% beer a"d s oki"%. a"d a fi"e. strappi"%. $i%ht haired f$orid fa#ed %ir$ of abo&t se1e"6tee" 2 e1ide"t$y a da&%hter 2 to%ether *ith a &#h yo&"%er %ir$. I *as a &sed at heari"% the ta$k abo&t a fair they *ere %oi"% to. a"d of 4@a#k4 *ho they *ere *aiti"% for. *ho had %o"e so e*here to b&y a do"key. 2 4I sha"(t *ait &#h $o"%er. it o&%ht to a bi" here afore &s. 2 Yo&(d better *ait Git. %ie hi a"other ho&r. a"d the" #o e o" if he do"(t t&r" &p 2 $ea1e *ord. he($$ k"o* *here to fi"d &s to"i%ht. yo&($$ #at#h &s &p before *e %ets to H H H. *e($$ stop t*o ho&rs there a"d %r&b.4 I had ordered bread. a"d #heese a"d a$e. thi"%s so e6ti es %ood fro a s a$$ #o&"try bre*er e1e" at a 1i$$a%e p&b$i# ho&se. a"d that food I $ike. They had a$so a or"i"%(s paper *ith *hi#h a"d the food I sat i" the par$or *hi#h *as at o"e e"d of a $o"% bar #o&"ter. a tap roo bei"% at the other e"d. The doors of both *ere *ide ope" 2 I(d seated yse$f there *ith y ba#k to the street *i"do*. to read better. a"d a$so be6#a&se the door bei"% *ide ope". it a &sed e to hear the $o&d #hatter of the sho* a" a"d fa i$y. as *e$$ as to $ook at the da&%hter. *hose st&rdy $e%s a"d *e$$ fed. bro"-ed. b&t ha"dso e fa#e had ade e spe#&$ate &po" the bea&ty of her hidde" #har s. The" y #o#k be%a" to s*e$$. as she t&r"ed to*ards the other. stooped. a"d by her o1e e"ts I sa* p$ai"$y she *as tyi"% her %arters. There *as "o o"e to see b&t e a"d her pare"ts. so there *as "o har . 7&t *o e" of that #$ass thi"k "othi"% of tyi"% &p their %a"dters i" p&b$i#. si p$y t&r"i"% a*ay a $itt$e fro those "ear the . The e!pos&re of a %ood $e% is to e a$*ays e!#iti"%. I thi"k of the *o a"(s #&"t dire#t$y. a"d did so "o*.
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MY SECRET LIFE

;hi$st eati"% a"d readi"% a"d e1ery "o* a"d the" $ooki"% a$o"% the bar. the sho* a" said a%ai". 4+a "ed if I *astes ti e a"y $o"%er. *ait for @a#k a" ho&r. i"d.4 The" he. *ife a"d #hi$d $eft. 4:o a"d sit do*" Miss.4 said the $a"d$ord at the bar. The %ir$ o1ed strai%ht to the par$or. 2 4'ot there.4 sho&ted the $a"d$ord. 4that(s the par$or. to the side.4 7&t the %ir$ *as *e$$ i" the roo as he spoke. 2 4'e1er i"d. sit do*" Miss. I( %oi"% dire#t$y.4 2 4Tha"kee sir.4 a"d she sat do*" $ooki"% p$eased. 2 The bar a" #a e. apo$o%eti#a$$y to o&st her. b&t I said the %ir$ i%ht re ai". that I *as %oi"% soo". so he departed. I" a i"&te *e had #o e"#ed ta$ki"%. soo" after she *as partaki"% of bread. #heese a"d bott$ed a$e *hi#h I ordered free$y a"d I *as $ooki"% at her hea$thy ha"d6so e fa#e. sei-ed *ith *hat is #o eti es #a$$ed 4a si"f&$ $&st of the f$esh.4 My #o#k rose &p pro pti"% e so that I *as ob$i%ed to p&sh it i"to a #o"1e"ie"t positio" bet*ee" y tro*sers a"d be$$y. 2 'o o"e #a e i". for it *as "ot the ti e of day for par$or #&sto ers. *ho are the e1e"i"% topers i" a 1i$$a%e. ;as the a$e %ood/ 4)i"(t it 0&st. ;e dri"ks fo&r6pe""y. 2 +ad dri"ks beer.4 2 She *as de$i%hted at ta$ki"% to a %e"t$e a" a"d fed herse$f *ith freedo a"d the &tter abse"#e of that i$$ at ease. *hi#h I(1e so ofte" fo&"d *ith ser1a"ts *ho I ha1e take" to di"e or s&p. She to$d e a$$ abo&t the sho*. she s$ept i" the $ast *a%o" *ith her sister. 2 4Mother a"d +ad i" the other. 2 It(s the bi%%est.4 2 4)"d do"(t brother @a#k s$eep *ith yo&/4 2 ,er r&ddy fa#e %re* r&ddier. she *as #o"f&sed. 2 4Co&rse "ot. 2 there ai"(t "o roo ti$$ *e are at fairs.4 2 The" I heard that @a#k *as"(t her brother. )"other bott$e of a$e ope"ed her o&th ore. a"d ade e thi"k ho* I #o&$d a"a%e to ope" her $o*er o&th. I heard that @a#k *as a sort of part"er. *as her #o&si" 2 $ooked after the horses 2 *e"t a*ay the day before to b&y a do"key. They *o"dered *hy he had"(t arri1ed. b&t so eti es he *as a*ay "ear$y a *eek *he" they(d b&si"ess. 2 4@a#k(s yo&r s*eetheart.4 2 4;e$$ *hat if he be/4 4,e s$eeps *ith yo& *he" yo&(re at fairs. 2 4,e do"(t4 2 4,e does 2 4,e do"(t4 2 4,e does. 2 4;e$$ *hat if he do. *e(re a%oi" to arry a"d +ad k"o*" o" it/4 )t $e"%th she said. b&rsti"% o&t $a&%hi"%. :e"era$$y if a$o"e *ith a *o a" I %et so e fa#ts fro her. 4I *ish I *as @a#k. I(d arry yo&.4 2 4Oh ai"(t yer a $yi"% stiff.4 said she $a&%hi"% hearti$y. 4;here(s yo&r "e!t fair I($$ #o e a"d s$eep *ith yo&.4 2 4Oh ai"(t yer a #haffi"%. I &st %o.4 2 4'o. %i1e e a kiss.4 2 4Sha"(t. I &st %o.4 2 4+a "ed if I *o&$d"(t %i1e a so1erei%" to s$eep *ith yo&.4 I b$&rted o&t. ready a$ ost to ra1ish her. 2 4'o. "o"e a that sir p$ease4 as I atte pted a fee$. after a kiss *hi#h she $et e take. The" she %a1e e a s&dde" p&sh 2 ) 1ery stro"% o"e 2 a"d $a&%hi"% %ot o&t the door. 2 4Look.4 said I. ra"dy ad a"d p&ffi"% o&t y f$a i"% stiff pe%o. 2 4Oh 2 ai"(t yo& o"e.4 2 She *a$ked to the bar. b&t $ooked at y #&"t ra er $o"%. a"d $a&%hed before she *e"t. I fe$t s&re I(d ade her $e*ed. Refreshed a"d ea"i"% to ha1e a $ook at the #o&"try. I paid a"d departed. *i"ki"% at the %ir$. she s i$i"% i" ret&r". i" the *ay *o e" do *he" %ratified
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VOLUME 11

by $e*ed ta$k a"d si%ht of a stiff pri#k. 2 E1ery *o a" is rea$$y %ratified by a a"(s desiri"% to f&#k her. *hether the desire be de$i#ate$y i p$ied. or 3&ite #oarse$y e!6pressed. 2 4:ood or"i"% Miss.4 said I ost po$ite$y. 4:ood or"i"% Sir.4 a"d I passed o&t. I stro$$ed a$o"% a #o&"try road. f$at fie$ds *ith $ar%e dit#hes a"d bi% &"#&t hed%es i" ea#h side. e"#$osi"% $ar%e spa#es of "aked arab$e $a"d *ith o##asio"a$ past&ra%e as far as I #o&$d see. )t $o"% dista"#es apart. *as a poor #otta%e or t*o to%ether. at p$a#es here a"d there a shabby far ho&se or bar". S#ar#e$y a $aborer o" the road a"d a #art 1isib$e abo&t e1ery fi1e i"&tes. ) d&$$er distri#t I ha1e rare$y see". it *as d&$$"ess itse$f. 'ot a breath of *i"d. ade a r&st$e i" tree or hed%e. a$$ *as si$e"t. o&r"f&$. yet the "o1e$ty p$eased e. a"d o" I stro$$ed s oki"%. so eti es si"%i"% a"d stoppi"% e1ery "o* a"d the". )t $ast I asked of a #ha"#e $aborer the dista"#e to H H H H. ) 3&i#k tra p a"d hea1y footsteps i" the dista"#e str&#k y ear5 footsteps as of so e o"e *a$ki"% &#h 3&i#ker tha" yse$f. 'earer a"d "earer they #a e a"d o" t&r"i"% ro&"d. there *as the sho* a"(s da&%hter. She s i$ed a$$ o1er her fa#e a"d so did I 2 4;hat yo&. Miss. *here(s @a#k/4 *ere y first *ords. 2 4Oh 2 he ai"(t t&r"ed &p.4 2 4Yo&($$ ha1e "o bed6 fe$$o* 2 yo&($$ be #o$d.4 2 4Sha"(t.4 2 she rep$ied $a&%hi"%. 2 4I($$ s$eep *ith yo&.4 2 4;i$$ yo& "o*. ai"(t yer ki"d/4 *ith a %ood h& o&red s"eer. 4Yes. a"d I($$ %i1e yo& a "e* dress.4 2 4Oh 2 $or 2 *ho(d a tho&%ht it/4 a"d she $a&%hed hearti$y. as I did. There *as a 0oki"%. yet 1o$&pt&o&s t*i"k$e i" her eyes *hi#h ade e fee$ s&re she fe$t $e*ed. 2 4Yes a"d *o&$d %i1e it to ha1e yo& te" i"&tes a$o"e.4 2 4Oh ai"(t yer %e"ero&s.4 2 4Yes a"d I($$ %i1e yo& this for "othi"%.4 poi"ti"% to y pri#k 2 at *hi#h she roared. 4+o"(t *a$k so 3&i#k I sha$$ $ose that pretty fa#e too soo".4 2 4I &st #at#h e &p.4 2 4Yo&($$ *ear yo&r boots o&t a"d it(s %oi"% to rai". ,o* I *ish I *ere yo&r boots.4 2 4My boots/4 $ooki"% 3&ite asto"ished. 2 4Yes. the" I $ook &p a"d see *hat I( dyi"% to see. $et e.4 2 4Sha"(t. yo& beast4 2 a"d a%ai" she $a&%hed. repeati"% 4 y boots 2 ha 2 ha 2 ha y 2 boots.4 2 T*o or three i"&tes ore ba&dy #haff. a"d I(d take" ha$f a do-e" kisses. Chaffi"% o" ore broad$y sti$$ had ade her 3&i ti"%$e. for she "o* #haffed de$i#ate$y i" ret&r". as *e *a$ked s$o*er a$o"% $ooki"% i"to ea#h other(s fa#es. 2 ;e heard a $o&d #ra#k of a *hip. a"d a a$e 1oi#e $o&d$y e"#o&ra%i"% a horse. the hed%es *ere thi#k a"d hi%h *ith their s& er(s %ro*th a"d hi"dered o&r seei"%. 4They(re a %i1i" it hot.4 said she. ) fie$d %ate *as "ear. *e *e"t to it. a"d sa* a" e!#a1atio" i" the fie$d. i"to *hi#h appare"t$y a #art had s$id a"d partia$$y the horse *hi#h a a" *as f$o%%i"% to ake it p&$$ o&t a"d *hi#h *ith 1io$e"t str&%%$es it did. Sta"di"% #$ose to%ether there I p&t y ar ro&"d her *aist. 4)d&" "o*.4 2 b&t she s&b itted to a do-e" kisses a"d %a1e o"e i" ret&r". The" i"f$a ed by h&%%i"% her p$& p for . I p&t y ha"d o&tside her #$othes a"d t&#ked the a%ai"st her #&"t. 4I(1e had it stiff e1er si"#e I sa* yo& 2 $et &s.4 2 4)d&" "o* I sha"(t4 2 b&t she did"(t o1e fro
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the %ate. The a" a"d #art had disappeared. the hed%e hid &s partia$$y. a"d sti$$ I stood kissi"%. be%%i"% her to $et e. she sayi"% 4I *o"(t. yo& sha"(t4 b&t "ot o1i"%. 2 4I($$ %i1e yo& a #o&p$e of so1erei%"s.4 I *o&$d ha1e %i1e" her ore for I *as ad *ith $&st. 2 To that she ade "o rep$y. 2 :o$d. o "ipote"t :o$d9 9 The" as I a$*ays do. a$*ays did 2 I *o"der if a$$ e" do 2 p&$$ed o&t y pri#k a"d for#ed her ha"d to it. 4There(s so e o"e(s #o i"% 2 hide it.4 2 said she s#ared. S&re e"o&%h there *as the tra p of feet a"d soo" a #o&p$e of far $aborers #a e by &s. *hi$st *e stood %a-i"% o1er the %ate. ti$$ they *ere $ost i" the dista"#e. )%ai" I sho*ed it a"d she odest$y sha e6fa#ed$y fe$t it b&t sayi"%. 2 4I sha"(t.4 2 I(d 0&st %ot y ha"d bet*ee" her thi%hs. *he". 4+o"(t. there(s a #arria%e #o i"%.4 She *as ri%ht. a"d a%ai" y a#hi"e *as hidde". 2 )" ope" #arria%e *ith $adies i" it ro$$ed past. the o"$y %e"tee$ 1ehi#$e I(d see". )%ai" I kissed. a%ai" p&$$ed o&t y too$. 4If yo& do"(t $et e I sha$$ spe"d4 2 4I *o"(t 2 *e #a"(t here 2 I sha"(t.4 4;e #a" 2 o"$y $et e fee$ it "i#e$y dar$i"%.4 'e!t i"&te y fi"%ers *ere o" her #$itoris. 4'o 2 oho 2 "o. *e($$ be #a&%ht 2 so e o"e *i$$ be a #o i" by.4 2 I *as fri%%i"% her hard. y pri#k sta"di"% o&t a"d throbbi"%. she dyi"% to be f&#ked. S&re "o* of ha1i"% her. #ertai" that her #&"t *as thirsti"% for y sp&"k. 3&i#k$y I stepped o&t i"to the $o"% strai%ht road a"d "ot a so&$ #o&$d be see". 7a#k i"sta"t$y. 4'o o"e(s abo&t.4 2 4I *o"(t there4 2 b&t I p&shed her %e"t$y *itho&t resista"#e. for she *a"ted a f&#k 2 *ith her ba#k a%ai"st the %atepost. *here the %ro&"d *as hi%her tha" i" the #e"tre of the %ate*ay. She *as shortish. the hed%e %ro*" &"#&t ro&"d the post hid &s *e$$ 2 a"d i" a i"&te y pri#k *as &p her. She *as yo&"%. stro"% a"d $e*ed. y ba$$o#ks *ere f&$$. a"d i" three or fo&r i"&tes her #&"t had a$$ I #o&$d %i1e. ;e re1e$$ed i" the #o"0&"#tio" $o"% after6*ards. I ho$di"% her ro&"d her so$id "aked b&tto#ks. she ti%hte"i"% e to her by y *aist after she(d spe"t. ;e *e"t o" kissi"%. y #o#k sti$$ $i"%eri"% i" her. ti$$ she. 4There(s a a" #o i"%.4 2 ;e both $iste"ed. pri#k a"d #&"t sti$$ 0oi"ed. 2 4I thi"k it(s @a#k 2 it is. 2 Oh. do"(t $et hi see yo&.4 2 O&t #a e y pri#k. do*" dropped her petti#oats. she *e"t i"to the road a"d *a$ked o". I %ot o1er the %ate a"d hid behi"d the hed%e. y pri#k ha"%i"% o&t. I did"(t *a"t a s#e"e. ) a" passed by *ith 3&i#kish hea1y footsteps. the" o1er the %ate I %ot a"d peepi"% ro&"d the hed%e sa* hi ahead of her. a"d she s3&atti"% a"d pidd$i"% "ear the dit#h. 2 It *as"(t @a#k. I 0oi"ed her. 2 4I *as i" a ste*.4 said she. 2 4Yo&(1e *ashed yo&r #&"t.4 2 4I ai"(t %ot "o *ater.4 2 4Yo&(1e pidd$ed. $et(s fee$.4 2 she *o&$d"(t $et e. 2 O" *e *a$ked ta$ki"% ba&di$y as I #o&$d. de$i%hted i" doi"% so. she $iste"i"%. at ti es $a&%hi"%. for "ear$y a" ho&r. ti$$ i" the $o"% dista"#e I sa* ho&ses a"d s oke. 2 4That(s *here +ad stops.4
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VOLUME 11

2 4Let(s do it a%ai".4 2 4;e #a"(t "o*.4 2 said she. $ooki"% at e as if she *ished *e #o&$d. More peop$e 2 a$$ far peop$e see i"%$y passed a"d "o* appeared to $ook at &s ore #&rio&s$y. It(s "ot ofte" that a %e"t$e6 a" a"d a st&rdy sho* a"(s *o a" are see" *a$ki"% to%ether a$o"% a hi%h road. 7&t I had "o ta$$ si$k hat o". a hat *hi#h de#$ares #$ass ore tha" a"y other part of a a"(s habi$i e"ts. ;e da*d$ed. I pressed her to f&#k. She feared. said it *as i possib$e. a"d *e t&r"ed to a"other fie$d %ate. I" the fie$d it ope"ed o"to there *as past&ra%es a"d #o*s abo&t tho "ot i" that fie$d. ) $itt$e *ay ba#k by a hed%e i" the fie$d *as a *oode" shed ha$f ope" b&t *ith a %ate. a ro&%h p$a#e $ooki"% as if b&i$t for sheep by $aborers. "ot by #arpe"ters. Thi"ki"% it i%ht s&it o&r a atory *a"ts. I %ot o1er the %ate 2 for this %ate a$so *as $o#ked 2 a"d ope"ed the %ate of the shed *hi#h *as faste"ed by a ro&%h $at#h. I" it *as a %ri"dsto"e a"d a h&%e ro$$er. )" i""er %ate she*ed stra*. I ope"ed that a"d o&t r&shed a #a$f "ear$y k"o#ki"% e o1er. *hi#h $i ped far a*ay. for it *as $a e a"d 3&i#k$y *e"t to*ards a hed%e *here *ere #o*s i" a fie$d beyo"d. It start$ed e as I ope"ed the door. Seei"% that *e #o&$d f&#k there &"obser1ed. I stepped o&t a"d be#ko"ed her. ;ith the a%i$ity of a boy she #$i bed the %ate. she*i"% her p$& p $e%s a"d dirty petti#oats. a"d i" a i"&te *as i" the shed. Feari"% the a"i a$ had soi$ed its bed. I thre* do*" so e #$ea" stra* *hi#h *as i" a #or"er i" the e"tra"#e di1isio". she $aid do*" at o"#e 3&ite ready. a"d I thre* &p her petti#oats 2 the o"$y thi"% she ob0e#ted to a"d *o&$d"(t ha1e b&t sa* fat thi%hs. a $itt$e $i%ht hair o" a fat otte. a"d the e1er adorab$e sp$it i" her be$$y. The" I p&$$ed ope" her $e%s. 2 4'o* do"(t do that.4 2 I i"sisted a"d fe$t her #&"t sti$$ soft a"d $&bri#ated *ith y spe"d . a"d "e!t i"&te *e *ere f&#ki"%. I *ith the p$eas&re *hi#h "o1e$ty a"d a pretty yo&"% ra"dy #&"t %i1es e. 2 4Liste".4 said she stoppi"% y thr&sts a"d "ear$y &"#&"ti"% e. 7&t there *as "o o"e. *e had $eft the doors ope" p&rpose$y 2 I *as 0&st spe"di"%. 47e 3&i#k. I( so fri%hte"ed.4 2 4+o yo& *a"t it/4 2 4Yes. be 3&i#k. I($$ do it soo"4 2 a"d i" a"other i"&te her #&"t stood <as so e Fre"#h *o e" say= %a1e %ri"d a"d s&#tio" to y pri#k. o&t throbbed its &#i$a%e. a"d her #&"t %rippi"% e!&ded its 0&i#es. T*o i"&tes after she *as ba#k o1er the %ate. a"d after ha1i"% #$osed the shed door I fo$$o*ed her. 2 4+o"(t $et &s %o to H H H H to%ether.4 said she. 2 4+ad(s there.4 2 4)$$ ri%ht. here are t*o so1erei%"s.4 She $ooked at the *istf&$$y. the" a"%ri$y. 2 4I k"o* *hat yer thi"ks e b&t I ai"(t.4 2 4I k"o* that b&t take it.4 2 4Tha"k yo&.4 2 taki"% it she spat o" it. 2 4,o* o$d are yo&/4 2 4@&st t&r"ed se1e"tee".4 she(d said it before. 2 4,o* $o"% has @a#k f&#ked yo&/4 2 She #o$ored &p. 2 4@&st a year a%o o" y birthday.4 4,e *o"(t arry yo&.4 2 4Yes he *i$$ at Christ as. a"d I hope yo& ai"(t fi$$ed e.4 )fter o&r first #o&p$i"% she $et e say a"ythi"% ba&dy. a"d I re1e$$ed i" it b&t she *as"(t a bit ba&dy herse$f. 2 I

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*o&$d fee$ her #&"t a%ai". 2 4+o"(t. y thi%hs are *et.4 2 The" she started off a$o"e. I $oitered ti$$ she *as *e$$ o&t of si%ht. the" started o" to the 1i$$a%e *here *ere the sho* 1a"s. a"d +ad s oki"% a pipe o&tside a p&b$i# ho&se. ,e stared at e. as I sat yse$f besides hi after orderi"% a %$ass of a$e. The" I e"tered i"to #o"1ersatio" *ith hi abo&t sho*s a"d fairs. 2 4;as yo& the %e"t at HHHH/4 asked he. 2 I said I *as. he took so e a$e *ith e. a"d for three 3&arters of a" ho&r to$d e the habits of his #$ass. I sa* Git %o i" a"d o&t of a sho* d*e$$i"%. a"d i"to the p&b$i# ho&se. a"d o"#e o" a" opport&"ity *i"ked at her. *hi#h she ret&r"ed *ith a ha$f s i$e. Fi"a$$y the 1a"s *ith a$$ of the *e"t off. Git *a$ked by the side of the se#o"d a"d "odded to e as she $eft. I *o"dered if she(d *ashed her #&"t. *hether y sper had bee" absorbed i"to her. *hether I(d fi$$ed her. 2 ) ost de$i#o&s day I(d spe"t. I(d *a$ked se1e" i$es. fe$t h&"%ry. %ot so e 1ery to&%h beef at the p&b$i# ho&se. fe$t p$eased *ith y or"i"%(s *ork. the" tho&%ht of %etti"% ba#k. The $a"d$ord said there *as a trap. b&t a a" $ooki"% a #o po&"d of potboy. %roo . a"d #oa#h a". said that it #o&$d"(t %o. 2 4)s I( to take Mrs. H H H H to statio".4 The f$y 2 o$d. d&sty. a"d dis#o1ered. *as to #a$$ at so e %e"t$e a"(s ho&se 2 I had"(t see" s&#h a ho&se o" the road I(d *a$ked 2 to a statio" o" a bra"#h $i"e. Ti e *as "o ob0e#t to e. so said I %o by it as far as he #o&$d take e. a"d did at three o(#$o#k. 2 4:o a$o"% that $a"e past the i$$. t&r" to yo&r ri%ht a"d strai%ht o" is yo&r statio". Sir.4 said #oa#h a" as I %ot o&t of the f$y. Fo$$o*i"% his dire#tio" I *as soo" a*ay fro the hi%h road. a"d i" a #art road $a"e *e"t $eis&re$y a$o"%. s oki"%. thi"ki"% &#h of the hard r& ped. ti%ht #&"ted $ass I(d f&#ked. ti$$ y pri#k stood a%ai". a"d I $apsed i"to a state of %e"era$ $e*ed"ess. I(1e ofte" pro1ed the tr&th of the ada%e. 4It "e1er rai"s b&t it po&rs.4 2 )fter a $o"%ish *a$k bet*ee" fie$ds I sa* sheds a"d o&t b&i$di"%s. a"d the" a $ar%er sort of shed. 2 The ist had %o"e. sky %ot #$o&dy. a"d rai" to spri"k$e. a"d ha1i"% "o & bre$$a I e"tered the shed. a"d the first thi"% I sa* *as a $ad "ot I sho&$d say si!tee" years o$d. *hite as if fro a f$o&r i$$ 2 *hi#h *as the #ase 2 sitti"% o" the %ro&"d. ha$f re#$i"i"% a%ai"st a heap of atti"%. a"d fri%%i"% hi se$f. I *as sta%%ered a"d #o&$d o"$y $ook. ,e. so soo" as he sa* e be%a" hidi"% his pe%o. My eroti# tastes the" <spite of y t*o p&de"da$ a &se e"ts= 2 b$a-ed &p a%ai". It is si"%&$ar that "o* the si%ht of a stiff pri#k stif6 fe"s i"e. a"d re#k$ess of #o"se3&e"#es. "ot i"deed thi"ki"% of the . I said at o"#e *ith a stro"% $et#h. 4:o o". I($$ %i1e yo& fi1e shi$$i"%s to see yo& fri% yo&r6se$f.4 2 4I be% yer pardo" Sir.4 said he sheepish$y. a"d rose &p. 2 4+o"(t be a foo$. I($$ %i1e yo& fi1e shi$$i"%s.4 a"d took o&t a ha"df&$ of si$1er. 2 ,e $ooked at it a"d %ri""ed. 2 I ta$ked o" desiro&s of seei"% his pe%o. of seei"% hi fri% hi se$f. eroti#
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VOLUME 11

*ishes f$ashed thro y brai" rapid$y. I e"#o&ra%ed hi ba&di$y. the o"ey te pted hi . Mo"osy$$abi# rep$ies "o* #a e fro hi . 2 4Yes.4 2 4'o.4 2 4;hat are yo& here for/4 2 4+(ye k"o* aste"d H H H of the i$$/4 The" after satisfyi"% hi se$f that I *as a stra"%e"d. 2 4:ie &s the #ash first.4 said he sa&#i$y. 2 4'o. "ot ti$$ I(1e see" yo&.4 2 4Yer *o"(t te$$ *i$$ yer/4 2 4'o.4 2 4Look o&t a"d te$$ as if a"y o"e be "i%h. a"d ye($$ %ie it &s *o"(t yer/4 2 There *as "o #ha"#e of a"y o"e bei"% "i%h. for "o* it po&red i" torre"ts a"d th&"dered. b&t I $ooked o&t. ;hi$st y ba#k *as t&r"ed he prod&#ed his pri#k a"d be%a" fri%%i"%. The" I *a"ted to do the *ork. 2 4There. $et e. a"d yo& sha$$ ha1e this.4 a"d I sho*ed hi a ha$f so1erei%". 2 4Take it.4 2 ,e did. I fa"#ied he i%ht #heat e b&t he did"(t 2 I took ho$d of his pri#k a"d fri%%ed it. ta$ki"% to hi a$$ the ti e abo&t #&"ts. 2 Yes. he(d f&#ked t*o or three. 2 47&t I #air"(t a$$&s %et at e .4 2 The" 2 4Oho 2 aha 2 its a #o i"( 4 2 a"d o&t shot s&rprisi"% 0ets of thi#k a"d thi" #&"t soothi"% $&bri#atio". I fri%%ed o" ti$$ his pri#k d*i"d$ed. *o"deri"% at his boyish stre"%th. ,e see ed de$i%hted *ith the operatio". To y 3&estio"s. 4Yes 2 I does it "o* a"d a%i". It(s a ha$f day they(1e %i1e" e today 2 they are short of *ater. I said I(d *ait here ti$$ a"other #hap #a e.4 The" as 3&i#k$y as pos6 sib$e I $eft hi . *o"deri"% at y te erity. *a$ked rapid$y thro the rai" to the statio". arri1ed *et. b&t %$ad to #at#h the trai". 'o* fo"d bre1ity sake I epito i-e the "arrati1e of y doi"%s *ith ,HHH d&ri"% this year a"d years after. )t i"ter1a$s *e et a"d i"d&$%ed i" e1ery $as#i1io&s #a6pri#e. I had take" ho e fro HHH a fi"e di$do *hi#h s3&irted $i3&ids. a"d *hi#h it a &sed her to be f&#ked *ith. The" I f&#ked her *ith it. $i#ki"% her #$itoris *hi$st I did it to her. The" Miss 7$a#k $i#ked her #$itoris *hi$st the di$do *as *orki"% &p ,. 2 The" *ith the di$do strapped o" to her. ,. di$doed 7$a#k. The" she di$doed 7$a#k *hi$st I f&#ked her fro behi"d. The" I f&#ked the pretty $itt$e b$a#k #&"ted $ass *hi$st she %a ah&#hed ,. 2 )"other ti e I di$doed ,. *hi$st $ayi"% o" her ba#k. a"d 7. $i#ked her #$itoris. a"d at the sa e ti e a"d &"k"o*" to 7.. 2 for ,. ob0e#ted to a"y *o a" k"o*i"% that I p$ayed *ith her b& ho$e 2 p&t y idd$e fi"%er &p that ti%ht a"a$ orifi#e. a"d ,. spe"t i" e#stasies d&ri"% the di$do f&#ki"%. fi"%er b&%%eri"%. a"d #&"t $i#ki"%. I #o&$d fee$ *hi$st &p her b& the di$do o1i"% &p a"d do*" i" her #&"t. a"d ,. %re* a $itt$e fo"d of that do&b$e i"sertio". 2 ;e kept it to o&rse$1es. tho ofte" ta$ki"% abo&t it *he" a$o"e. *ith her "e1er fai$i"% re ark. 4)i"(t *e beasts/4 a"d y rep$y. 4'o. beasts do"(t do that.4 )fter that she di$doed R. *ho *as fattish a"d bi% arsed. 2 ,.(s taste *as for fat *o e" to %a ah&#he her. 2 The" she fri%%ed R.. *hi$st sta"di"% i" the rear I f&#ked the fat arsed o"e. The" *e had R. a"d 7. to6%ether. a"d I %a ah&#hed ,. *hi$st she fri%%ed both *o e" *ho $ay o"e o" ea#h side of her. The" the t*o 3&iet str& pets 2 they *ere "ot street *a$kers 2 %a 6 ah&#hed ea#h other *hi$st I f&#ked ,. )$$ these pra"ks *ere ref$e#ted i" $ar%e #he1a$ %$asses. so that *e #o&$d see e1ery post&re. )t i"ter1a$s of rest *e dra"k #ha pa%"e. eat #akes a"d sa"d*i#hes. E1ery *o a" as she pissed I
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MY SECRET LIFE

ade to o&"t the bed. a"d s3&at o1er a basi". *hi$st I k"ee$i"% o" the f$oor i" fro"t of her. #o"te p$ated the a ber 0et fro the #ri so" %ash. ,o* *e $a&%hed o"e day *he" 7. $et a $itt$e fart *he" pidd$i"%. a"d ho* a""oyed she *as. ho* odest. ho* she b$&shed 2 har$ot tho she *as 2 b&t it(s a fa#t. I "o* %a ah&#hed ,. as &#h as she $iked it do"e to herI the broad $i#k of her s*eet 1&$1a. the p$&"%e of y to"%&e &p the soft a1e"&e *as de$i#io&s to e. b&t her %reat p$eas&re *as i" fri%%i"% a"other *o a" *hi$st I *as titi$$ati"% her #$itoris *ith y to"%&e. The" I had a *hi *hi#h she did"(t $ike b&t to *hi#h I ade her yie$d. I $aid o" y ba#k o" the bed "aked. ,. "aked k"e$t o1er e. a k"ee o" ea#h side of y head. her #&"t o" y o&th so that I #o&$d $i#k her #$itoris easi$y. *hi$st I %rasped her sati"y b&tto#ks. The" o"e of the *o e" 2 either R. or 7. 2 %a ah&#hed e a"d took y $ibatio" i"to her o&th. I" the %$asses ,. #o&$d see a$$ this. I *ith o&th o" her #&"t. a"d head e"#$osed by her $o1e$y thi%hs #o&$d "ot. I #o&$d te$$ a$*ays *he" ,. *as abo&t to spe"d. by the tre b$i"% o1e e"ts of her thi%hs. a"d shi1er of her be$$y a"d b& . a"d her #ry. 4Oh 2 I( #o i"% 2 s&#k his pri#k 2 spe"d dear 2 aha 2 sp&"k.4 2 She &sed these $i#ie"tio&s e0a#&$atio"s a$*ays "o*. She(d spe"d t*i#e before I did o"#e for I(d &s&a$$y f&#ked her o"#e before. a"d *as $o"%er i" #o i"% tha" she *ith her $&stf&$ #apabi$ities. I"deed this do&b$e i"etti"% *as &s&a$$y the ter i"atio" of the day(s a &se e"ts. *he" a$$ three had bee" f&#ked. fri%%ed. or %a ah&#hed. Of #o&rse as said a$$ these a &se e"ts *ere "ot had o" the sa e day. this is a" epito e of *hat took p$a#e fro ti e to ti e d&ri"% this a"d a fe* years after. 2 Ea#h day(s a &se e"t *as "oted do*" by e soo" after. b&t are #o"de"sed here. O&r eretri#io&s tri#ks *ere "ear$y a$*ays p$ayed i" the after"oo" i" broad day$i%ht. be%i""i"% soo" after $&"#heo". a"d i" a roo o" *hi#h the s&" sho"e bri$$ia"t$y ost of the day5 ofte" ti es o" pri#k a"d #&"t fe$$ the *ar s&"bea s. The roo *as o"e *here "o"e #o&$d see or hear &s. a"d *here the a iab$e assista"ts %ot for &s *ere ost$y yo&"% a"d ha"dso e. a"d *ho #o&$d bear a"y a o&"t of $i%ht. a"y i"spe#tio" of their se#ret #har s. a"d *ho f&$$ of hot b$ood a"d the 1o$&pt&o&s"ess of yo&th. a"d sti &$ated by #ha pa%"e. $o1ed the ba&dy tri#ks a"d spe"t free$y. )"d to #o p$ete this #ata$o%&e of $et#hes. a"d de. $i%hts. 2 it o##&rred t*o years $ater *he" I fi"dst di$doed ,. 2 I had a" & bre$$a *ith a s ooth ha"d$e oI pe#&$iar shape. a"d ,. *as de$i%hted to $et e f&#k heF *ith it ti$$ she spe"t. I"deed ost thi"%s that a a". a"d three *o e" #o&$d do to%ether *e did. ;hat *as *a"ti"% to #o p$ete the 1ariety *as ,. to %a ah&#he e. b&t she(s "either do that. "or %a ah&#he the other *o e" tho she(d fri% the ti$$ they #o&$d spe"d "o $o"%er. 2 I" after years o"#e &"der press&re of #ir#& sta"#es , took y $ibatio" i" her o&th. a"d o"#e s&#ked e &p to ri%idity o"$y.

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JB

VOLUME 11

Chapter V ) 1ir%i" yo&th *ith a har$ot. C&estio"s i" a #ab. ) frisky triad at her $od%i"%s. ) #arroty #&"ted o"e. ) $es#i1io&s 3&artette at the abbess(. Mis#e$$a"eo&s. eretri#io&s. erry aki"%s. )" or%y. Tho I "o $o"%er sei-e y opport&"ities. a"d do "ot see the i"deed. $et#hes at ti es spri"% &p s&dde"$y a"d I a $ed a*ay by the 2 *eak sti$$. I" 'o1e ber of this year at te" o(#$o#k o"e "i%ht I *as %oi"% a$o"% a ai" thoro&%hfare. *he" 0&st by a foot*ay passa%e *hi#h $ed to a"other street. I sa* a yo&"% a"d fair$y *e$$ dressed *o a". sta"di"% a"d threate"i"% t*o $ads *ho *ere fo$$o*i"% a"d #haffi"% her. 2 4,a1e yo& had it to"i%ht. y dear/4 said o"e. a"d so o". I stood a &sed. $iste"i"%. She a"%ri$y said. 2 4I($$ p&t a po$i#e a" o" yo&.4 2 They $a&%hed a"d #haffed ore tha" e1er. 4>&t the bobby &p.4 said the bi%%est. b&t the shorter o"e of the t*o s$&"k a*ay. S&dde"$y 2 ho* $ike a f$ash of $i%ht"i"% 2 o##&rred to e that perhaps the $ad *as ra"dy. had "e1er had a *o a". that his pri#k i%ht be at that o e"t stiff. The" #a e y $et#h. 2 4,e *a"ts to ha1e yo&.4 said I to the *o a" *ho I fo$$o*ed do*" the passa%e *ay. a"d *ho(d rea#hed the door of a p&b$i# ho&se. 4The $itt$e de1i$ does I thi"k.4 said she $a&%hi"%. 4:i1e e a %$ass of *i"e.4 2 The $ad stood sti$$ at the #or"er of the passa%e *ay. *at#hi"% &s appare"t$y. She *as I sa* a %ood $ooki"% *o a" of abo&t t*e"ty. *ith f$ashi"% dark eyes. 2 The". 4I($$ %i1e yo& a so1erei%" to $et hi f&#k yo&. a"d e see hi .4 2 4;i$$ yo&/4 4)$$ ri%ht if he($$ #o e.4 2 4Try hi .4 She t&r"ed ba#k. the ta$$er $ad *as sti$$ sta"di"% there. a"d be#ko"ed hi . *hi$st I stood by the p&b$i# ho&se. ,e approa#hed her. b&t e1ide"t$y feared a trap a"d stood at a dista"#e. 2 4;hat are yo& fri%hte"ed at/ Co e here.4 )t $e"%th he stood by her. a"d I *e"t &p to the . 4I( %oi"% ho e *ith this $ady. a"d she sha$$ sho* yo& her #&"t if yo& $ike. did yo& e1er see a #&"t/4 2 4'ot a *o a"(s.4 he rep$ied sa&#i$y after a o e"t(s hesitatio". 2 4Yo& sha$$ hers a"d I($$ pay her to $et yo&.4 2 ,e see ed f$abber%asted at the proposa$. said. 4'o.4 he &st %et ho e. b&t the i"1itatio" repeated. he at $ast #o"se"ted. tho i" a do*"#ast a""er. as if ha$f s#ared. as if he *a"ted b&t *as fri%hte"ed. The" aski"% hi to *ait. I bo&%ht *ith her i" the p&b$i# ho&se t*o bott$es of sherry. reso$1ed to o1er#o e his fear. if a"y. ,e *as *aiti"% a"d $ooki"% bri%hter. i"deed had a broad %ri" o" his fa#e. *hi#h died a*ay as *e %ot i"to the first fo&r *hee$er. *he" he see ed a"!io&s a%ai". My brai" *as "o* seethi"% *ith desires of a$$ sorts. She $i1ed i" a de#e"t ho&se at H H H H. a"d *e *ere there i" te" i"&tes. I ta$ked ba&dy a$$ the *ay. he *as si$e"t. see i"% "ot to $ike &#h his positio". ,e did"(t k"o* the *o a" he said b&t 2 4$iked #haffi"% the %a$s.4 2 ,e *as at (( as a" erra"d boy. 4I thi"k I(d better %o.4 said he o"#e *he" i" the #ab. 24;hat. "ot see y #&"t/4 said she. That 3&ieted hi . 2 I" the roo s *e
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p$ied hi *ith the *i"e. b&t he see ed &"6 easy a"d I feared y $et#hes *hi#h had bee" a##& &$ati"% *o&$d"(t be %ratified5 b&t he dra"k free$y. a"d *he" she #a e i" fro the bed to the sitti"% roo *ith a #he ise o"$y o". his eyes see ed ready to start o&t of his head. a"d he p&t both ha"ds i" his tro*ser po#kets. r&bbi"% the &p a"d do*" there i" a" e!#ited a""er. She be%a" e!#iti"% hi by tyi"% &p a %arter. a"d sho*i"% o"e thi%h p$e"teo&s$y. 4Sho&$d yo& $ike to fee$ it/4 2 4Yes.4 he rep$ied to her. sheepish$y a"d hesitati"%$y. 4Sho* e yo&r #o#k.4 a"d she be%a" to &"6b&tto" his tro*sers. 4I do"(t *a"t that.4 a"d he ha$f resisted $ike a #oy %ir$. b&t i" a i"&te she had it o&t a"d p&$$ed the foreski" ba#k. 2 It *as"(t stiff. 4Co e a"d *ash it.4 2 She p&$$ed ba#k the foreski". a"d I sa* it *as i" a state of ra"dy eff$ores#e"#e. She $ed hi i"to the bedroo a"d perfor ed the operatio" o" it her6se$f. I fo$$o*ed $ooki"% o". ,is too$ *as "o* ha"%i"% o&t a"d he tried to hide it. 2 4Let e see it. I( %oi"% to pay her to sho* &s her #&"t yo& k"o*. if yo& do"(t yo& sha"(t4 2 a"d the" he $et e see it. ,e(d o"$y see" t*o %ir$(s #&"ts *itho&t hair o" the . a"d 3&estio"ed o"de #$ose$y. ad itted o"e of the *as his sister(s #&"t. 4There 2 $ook.4 Sayi"% that she e!posed her #har s. Very pretty they *ere a"d ade e stiffe". ,e $ooked #$oser a"d #$oser. a"d &p stood his pri#k at o"#e *itho&t his to&#hi"% it. ,& a" "at&re a"d i"sti"#t. I be$ie1e. *o&$d ake the pri#k of a"y yo&th at p&berty stiffe". e1e" if he(d "e1er heard of or see" a #&"t before. 2 ,e p&t his ha"d to her #&"t. 4'o. "ot a fee$. I did"(t pro ise that.4 2 4Oh do.4 2 4Let e fee$ yo&r #o#k a"d she sha$$.4 2 said I. 2 4Oh do. $et e fee$ her.4 2 The "e!t o e"t he *as fi"6 %eri"% it. a"d I at the sa e ti e ha"d$i"% a fair si-ed too$. #ri so" tipped a"d b&r"i"%. I bro&%ht hi a"6other %$ass of *i"e *hi$st he *as fi"%eri"% her 3&i . b&t he *as so e"%rossed that he did"(t take it. did"(t "oti#e it 2 *as fas#i"ated *ith the red %ap. ti$$ she rose a"d p&shed do*" her #he ise. hidi"% her #har s. I *e"t o" 3&estio"i"% hi . 'o. he(d "e1er f&#ked b&t he had fri%%ed hi se$f. ,e to$d e1erythi"% &"hesitati"%$y "o*. i" the #ab he(d shirked y i"3&isiti1e"ess. 24;o&$d yo& $ike to f&#k her/4 2 4Yes. ai"(t she $o1e$y/4 2 4She($$ $et yo& b&t yo& &st take a$$ yo&r thi"%s off. &st ake yo&rse$f 3&ite "aked.4 I" a i"&te he had stripped off his dirty shabby #$othi"%. a"d stood as "aked as he *as bor". his #o#k sta"di"% &p ri%id$y. 2 4)re yo& s&re yo&(1e "e1er f&#ked a *o a"/4 2 4'o Sir. "e1er.4 2 4Yo&($$ ha1e a 1ir%i". Mary.4 said I. 2 4I(1e "e1er had o"e yet.4 said she $a&%hi"% a"d s3&ee-i"% his #o#k. a"d $ooki"% at it atte"ti1e$y. The" she asked hi if he(d e1er f&#ked. ,e s*ore that he had"(t. 2 4Co e to the bed.4 said she hasti$y. for the idea of ha1i"% the 1ir%i"ity of the $ad ade her $e*ed 2 as she to$d e after*ards. 2 She stripped off her #he ise a"d %ot o" to the bed. 2 4Co e o".4 O" he %ot. she #$osed her thi%hs. the" he $ayi"% there hesitated. 4;hy do"(t yo& f&#k e/4 2 4,o* #a" I/4 2 4There.4 2 a"d she ope"ed her thi%hs *ide. 2 ,e t&r"ed o" to a"d tried to %et &p her she he$pi"% hi . ,e f& b$ed. 4'ot there. that(s "ot the ho$e.4 2 4;here the". that(s it. ai"(t it/4 2 4'o.4 2 It *as. b&t she *a"ted to *orry hi . 2 Up he %ot
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VOLUME 11

a"d his pri#k %ot f$abby. 2 She fri%%ed it stiff. a"d he be%a" ope"i"% a"d $ooki"% at the $ips of her %roo1e. 2 4It(s there ai"(t it/4 said he a"!io&s$y. 2 4'o. $o*er do*". there4 poi"ti"%. 2 4;hy. yo&r #o#k is "ot stiff.4 2 )%ai" she fri%%ed it. a"d a%ai" he t&r"ed o" to her. she %&ided his too$. a"d the "e!t se#o"d he *as &p her. 2 4'o. $et hi f&#k yo& at the side of the bed.4 I said 2 for I #o&$d"(t see his fa#e. a"d $ike to see the fa#e of a a" *he" he(s f&#ki"%. a"d that of a *o a" *he" she spe"ds. She &"#&"ted hi a"d p$a#ed herse$f at the bedside prope"d$y. ,e stood bet*ee" her thi%hs a"d she p&t i"to her his pri#k. ,e "eeded "o f&rther ed&#atio". for e1ery a$e f&#ks "at&ra$$y. ,is b& be%a" to os#i$$ate. 2 4Is her #&"t "i#e/4 2 4Oh 2 yhes 2 $o1e$y 2 ohoo.4 2 4Is yo&r sp&"k #o i"%/4 2 ,e did"(t rep$y. 2 4)harr.4 2 a"d ra i"% as he si%hed. a$$ *as o1er. ,e sh&t his eyes as he spe"t. She sh&t hers too. a"d 0erked her b&tto#ks rapid$y. a"d both *ere 3&iet. 2 4Yo&(1e spe"t too. 2 4Yes. I(1e take" his 1ir%i"ity.4 said she $a&%hi"% a"d tri& pha"t$y. *he" she(d re#o1ered fro the p$eas&re. I *as sta"di"% fee$i"% his ba$$s fro &"der"eath. his pe%o sti$$ i" her #&"t as I spoke. "or did they see i"#$i"ed to &"#o&p$e. 4Is f&#ki"% "i#e/4 2 4Oh yes.4 4;o&$d yo& $ike to do it a%ai"/4 2 4Oh. yes sir.4 I(d see" a$$ I(d i"te"ded. had reso$1ed *he" the $et#h first sei-ed e to do "o ore tha" see the $ad f&#k her. b&t as I sa* the state of her 3&i 2 i" *hi#h *as as &#h sper as a"y a f&$$ %ro*" a" #o&$d ha1e shed 2 y $&st *as ro&sed. 2 4Lay sti$$. I($$ f&#k yo&.4 2 4Let e *ash.4 2 4'o. as yo& are.4 I f&#ked her a"d she spe"t *ith e. *hi$st he stood $ooki"% o" fee$i"% his pri#k. ;e *ashed. a"d I *ashed the $ad(s too$. aki"% hi pidd$e first. The sherry 2 fiery st&ff *hi#h "e1erthe$ess I(d dr&"k. 2 I s&ppose added to the state of r&t I(d %ot i"to. E1ery sort of $et#h "o* arose i" e. the diffi#&$ty *as to k"o* *hi#h to %ratify. The $ad(s #o#k *as a fair si-ed o"e. she a"d I ha"d$ed it. he said he(d $ike to f&#k her a%ai". She fri%%ed it ti$$ ere#t. he f&#ked her a"d I after hi . the" 3&i#k$y I paid a"d de6parted. $ea1i"% hi *ith her. ) *eek after*ards I #a$$ed o" her a"d tai$ed her. I had a $o"% #o"1ersatio" abo&t the $ad *ho *as "ot &#h o1er fiftee" years of a%e. she *as s&re. She to$d e that she *as a$so s&re that he(d "e1er f&#ked a *o a" before. She tried to %et hi to f&#k her a%ai" *he" I(d $eft. b&t he #o&$d"(t. The idea of ha1i"% take" his 1ir%i"ity p$eased her i%hti$y. I" the spri"% of the fo$$o*i"% year. the abbess o"e day said that she(d *ritte" to 7$a#k to eet &s to ake o&r $as#i1io&s trio. b&t she had"(t #o e. *o&$d *e ha1e a"other $ady there 0&st "o*. *ho *as 1ery yo&"%. b&t #har i"% a"d 43&ite &p to f&".4 by *hi#h the abbess i p$ied ba&dy to a"y e!te"t. ,. a"d I

41

MY SECRET LIFE

#o"s&$ted. I asked if she(d %a ah&#he. a"d fi"di"% she *o&$d %i1e that $abia$ $i"%&a$ p$eas&re both to ,. a"d se$f. *e had her. I" #a e she i" #he ise. a short %ir$ "ot ei%htee" *ith the "deddest hair I e1er sa*. I ha1e had se1era$ of that #o$or. b&t hers *as e!a#t$y that of the bri%htest #arrot. a"d the hair o" her #&"t the sa e. 2 ,er sp$it *as o"e of those *hi#h are $ike a #&t i" a" ora"%e. a ere s$it. it had s#ar#e$y a si%" of the s*e$$ *here the e!ter"a$ $ips are. a"d had b&t s a$$ i""er $ips a"d #$itoris. The red #risp fri"%e fro her otte des#e"ded di i"ishi"% i" $e"%th. b&t a $itt$e *ay o"$y do*" the sides of the sp$it. *hi#h sp$it she*ed a p"detty #ora$ $i"e do*" the #e"tre. The f$esh of her thi%hs. be$$y a"d i"deed her *ho$e body *as e!#eedi"%$y *hite a"d soft. a"d the effe#t of the red #e"tre $i"e. #arroty #&r$y hair. a"d p$& p *hite f$esh of the #&"t sides *as 1ery pretty. For a$$ that "either of &s &#h $iked her 2 *e both to%ether $ooked *e$$ at her 3&i . she %a ah&#hed ,. *ho after*ards fri%%ed her. a"d the" she i"etted e *itho&t hesitatio". a"d to p$ease ,. 2 *ho *ished to see it do"e. 2 )fter*ards I f&#ked the red haired %ap. The" *e se"t her a*ay a"d I tai$ed ,. b&t *e "e1er had her after*ards. ,. $ikes "o* to see e f&#ki"% a *o a". The *e"#h *as o"$y "oti#ab$e o" a##o&"t of the pe#&$iar red"ess of her hair. a"d the pe#&$iar $ook of her #&"t. 3&ite a thi"% to re#o$$e#t. ,. had "e1er see" a red haired 3&i before. I $ike to see her $ooki"% at a"other(s 3&i . ;e fro ti e to ti e %ratified o&r $et#hes i" the 1ario&s *ays a$ready des#ribed a"d epito i-ed. The #o"1ersatio"s *e had at other ti es *ith Misses. R. a"d 7. a"d o##asio"a$$y *ith the abbess. *ere de$i%htf&$. 7oth to$d &s their e!perie"#es. a"d ho*. *he". a"d *here. pri#ks first pe"etrated their &"s#athed 1ir%i"s( 3&i s. The abbess to$d &s of stra"%e $et#hes of her #$ie"ts a"d of f$a%e$$atio" e!perie"#es. So here *as "othi"% eroti# that *e did "ot k"o*. I"deed there *as $itt$e that *e had to $ear". Looki"% o"e #$ay at a pri"t of t*o *o e" a"d t*o e" f&#ki"% a$to%ether. 4I sho&$d $ike so yo& to f&#k a *o a". *hi$st I a a$so f$i#ked at yo&r side.4 said ,. I a%reed that it *o&$d be de$i#io&s. )t other eeti"%s o" re#&rri"% to the s&b0e#t. *e reso$1ed to ha1e that a &se e"t a"d that 7$a#k sho&$d be the other *o a". 47&t *ho the other a"/4 The abbess #o"s&$ted said she k"e* a %e"t$e6 a" *ho #o&$d be o"e. b&t *o&$d be asked. 2 I did"(t $ike that. "or did ,.. b&t to*ards the idd$e of the s& er. ,. et at a to*" t*o i$es fro her reside"#e. a %e"t$e a" *ho years before *he" she *as %ay. had tai$ed her. She(d ta$ked a"d *a$ked *ith hi . he %ot passio"ate for her. her 3&i she ad itted %ot hot. a"d for%etti"% a$$. 2 a"d she risked &#h. 2 $et hi str& her. The" her $&sts f&$$y ro&sed. she(d %o"e to hi a%ai". ;he" she to$d e of this I #a&tio"ed her. beso&%ht her. 2 4Oh9 ,e has s&#h a fi"e pri#k.4 said she $a&%hi"%. as she dra"k a %$ass of #ha pa%"e. Yet this *o a" rea$$y $o1ed her o*" a". b&t as i" years before $et her passio"s #o"3&er her. 2 )t #h&r#h e1ery S&"day after this she fe$t she *as "ot %ood e"o&%h to be there. L&st is o "ipote"t.
edit by glad ?8

VOLUME 11

The" he *orried her. She(d ref&sed to $et hi ha1e her a%ai". &"$ess he(d be o"e of the party of fo&r <she said= . ,e. *i$d to possess her a%reed. a day *as "a ed a"d 7$a#k i"for ed. ,e *as to be *itho&t a ask. I to *ear o"e if I $iked 2 for I did"(t k"o* *hat a""er of a" he i%ht be. tho I(d "o fear of a trap or tri#k o" her part. 2 O" the day ,. *as there *ith 7$a#k a"d this te porary s*eetheart. I e"tered the roo asked. *e be%a" *ith $&"#heo" *hi#h I had take". a"d #ha pa%"e of 1ery %ood 3&a$ity *hi#h the abbess kept i" sto#k 2 for "o"e b&t %e"t$e e" e"tered her ho&se. 2 a"d *he" *e(d fi"ished t*o bott$es *e *ere a$$ ready for a"y ba&di"ess. o&r ta$k a$o"e *o&$d ha1e ro&sed the pri#k of a dead a". 7oth the *o e" had bee" sitti"% *ith #he ises o"$y o". *e e" *itho&t #oats a"d *aist#oats. for it *as a hot day. the s&" *as shi"i"%. the sky #$ear. a$$ *as bri%ht as day i" that s"&% roo . the s#e"e of so &#h $o1e aki"%. ,. sat o" her frie"d(s k"ee <Fa"#y I sha$$ "a e hi =. a"d p&$$ed o&t his pe%o. *hi#h o&t of $i"%eri"% odesty. at the &"a##&sto ed e!pos&re to a"other a$e I s&p6pose. *as "ot stiff. tho $ar%e a"d pe"da"t. 7$a#k did the sa e to e. a"d y too$ *as i" si i$ar #o"ditio". 2 4Make his stiff.4 said ,. $a&%hi"%. *hi#h i" a i"&te the %ir$ did. for the si%ht of ,. *ith her #he ise "o* &p to her r& p. fee$i"% his pe%o *hi$st he fi"%ered her #ri so" %ap. *o&$d ha1e stiffe"ed e *itho&t the aid of 7$a#k(s fi"%ers. ,is *as "o* stiff a"d i" ha"dso e state. 2 4Is"(t it a fi"e o"e/4 said ,. pro&d$y. 2 I(d %&essed before that her o$d $et#h had ade her %i1e herse$f to the a" 2 a bi% pri#k *as her de$i%ht. her idea$ of the a$e. 2 ,is *as bi%%er e1ery *ay tha" i"e. *as. i"deed. a "ob$e #&"t stret#her. I $o"%ed to fee$ it. b&t a&1aise ho"te restrai"ed e. ,.. *ho fro a"y a #o"1ersatio" k"e* *hat I sho&$d $ike. said. 4Fee$ it 2 here.4 2 %i1i"% it a" i"1iti"% shake a"d $ooki"% ba&di$y at e. Re$ie1i"% i"e fro 7$a#k(s fi"%ers I *e"t a"d fe$t it. 2 )t o"#e he %rasped i"e. a"d i" si$e"t de$i%ht *e for a i"&te p$ayed *ith ea#h other(s ra rods. 4Let e fee$ it too.4 said 7$a#k *ho #a e #$ose to &s a"d #o p$eted the %ro&p. 2 I p&t o"e ha"d bet*ee" her thi%hs a"d fe$t her hot %ap 2 %ap "o* $o"%i"% for a stret#hi"%. thirsti"% for the a$e $ibatio" 2 *hi$st I ha"d$ed his stiff rod a"d ,. ha"d$ed i"e. ,a"ds a#ross 2 a sa$a#io&s 3&artette. The" a$$ stripped to o&r ski". p&t the $ooki"% %$asses so as to ref$e#t &s. a"d i" 1aried %ro&pi"%s 1ie*ed o&r6 se$1es. It *as. 4+o this.4 2 4Lay ho$d of his pri#k.( 2 4Let 7$a#k ho$d it as *e$$.4 2 4Oh9 Yo& h&rt y #&"t.4 2 4Fee$ ,.(s #&"t. 7$a#k.4 2 et#. et#. 'ot i"&te *ere *e i" the sa e positio". rest$ess $et#hes *ere i" a$$ of &s. b& s to be$$ies. pri#k #rossi"% pri#y *e e" p$a#ed the . both pri#ks stiff as hor"s. The *o e" de$i%hted. 7$a#k k"e$t do*" a"d took y pri#k i" her o&th. her b& to*ards a %$ass. i"#ited to that by ,. Stoopi"% I took his "ob$e too$ i"to i"e. a"d so o". ti$$ sti &$ated by these $as#i1io&s pre$i i"aries 4Oh9 2 y :od 2 f&#k e.4 said ,. :oi"% to the bed a"d p&shi"% the %$asses i"to positio". she o&"ted it i" a i"&te 7$a#k fo$$o*ed. a"d *e e" *ere by the bedside ready to #o1er the .
43

MY SECRET LIFE

)$$ had *ashed pri#ks a"d #&"ts at the be%i""i"% a"d a$$ *ere ready for the $&s#io&s %a es. 2 4'o. at the side.4 said ,. #ha"%i"% her i"d. There she %ot. a"d 7$a#k $aid by her side. 7oth ope"ed *ide their thi%hs ,. $ay *ith her ha"dso e #e"tra$ f&rro*. of deeper #ri so" ti"t "o* tha" years a%o. *ider spread a"d f&$$er "o* are the #&r$s aro&"d it. shi"i"% $ike sati" *as the s&rfa#e of the pretty %ap. 7$a#k(s pretty yo&th f&$ b$a#k haired s$it sho"e $ike #ora$. sho*i"% its ti"y "y phae as she $ay *ith fi"%er o" her #$itoris. p&t there i" her i patie"t ra"di"ess to %i1e i"#ipie"t p$eas &re. a"d ake *e e" ore $e*ed. 2 4I($$ f&#k yo& dear ,.4 4'o. Fa"#y sha$$ f&#k e. yo& f&#k 7.4 2 The bi%%est pri#k a"d the "o1e$ty fet#hed her. I thre* yse$f &po" y k"ees. a"d $i#ked a$$ o1er the s ooth a"d p&$py s&rfa#e of her s*eet s#e"ted #&"t. *hi$st Fa"#y seei"% y i"itiati1e. $i#ked the other(s $itt$e ra"dy sp$it. 2 4Oh 2 F&#k 2 f&#k4 2 #ried ,. i patie"t$y. Risi"% I #$&t#hed her thi%hs a"d dro1e J %$o*i"% pri#k ri%ht &p her #&"t. 4Yo& sha"(t f&#k e *ith that ask o".4 #ried she. a"d ere I #o&$d pre1e"t it &"#&"ted e a"d dre* y ask fro off y fa#e. 4Let Fa"#y f&#k e first.4 2 Re#k$ess "o*. %$ad to be rid of the ask *hi#h heated y fa#e. I $et it $ie *here it fe$$. a"d t&r"i"% ro&"d a%ai" I fe$t his "ob$e shaft. 0&st as he approa#hed the ea%er s$it of ,. The" I *e"t to 7. a"d dro1e y pe%o &p her. The "e!t se#o"d his ba$$s *ere a%ai"st ,.(s b& . his shaft e"%&$phed. a"d i"e &p 7.(s $itt$e #&"t. This *ith $o&d a"d ba&dy ta$k. the" a$$ *as 3&iet. >$eas&res too %reat *ere o&rs "o* for &ttera"#es. as pri#ks a"d #&"ts *ere 0oi"ed. a"d *e f&#ked #$ose to6%ether. side by side. the *o e"(s thi%hs to&#hi"%. the %$ass side*ays sho*i"% &s a$$. Ea#h #o&$d see a$$ 2 the *o e"(s $e%s he$d &p. the e"(s arses os#i$$ati"% *ith the &p a"d do*". a"d i" a"d o&t o1e e"ts of their pri#ks. i" the *ar oist 3&i s. >&tti"% o"e ha"d o&t I fe$t his b&tto#ks. 2 ,. tried to p&t her ha"d o" to 7.(s otte. 24Oh9 Look at &s f&#ki"%.4 2 #ried she. She $o1es the spe#ta#$e of "aked #op&$atio". a"d *e "e1er f&#k i" this ho&se *itho&t fi!i"% o&r eye &po" the %$asses. *here *e see o&r e1ery o1e e"t. She si%hed 4)haa.4 2 her be$$y hea1ed 2 7.(s i1ory p$& p b&tto#ks re#ipro#ated y thr&sts. she p&shed her $e%s &p hi%her as she fe$t y pri#k(s fri#tio". 2 Rapid$y both *o e"(s arses "o* 0o%%ed a"d hea1ed. as o&r pri#ks ra ed harder. faster. a"d *ri%%$ed i" the #&"ta$ depths. 4)herr 2 sp&"k 2 f&#k.4 2 #ried ,. 2 She $o1es the ba&dy #ries. 4F&#k.4 2 4)re yo& spe"di"%. 7$a#k/4 2 4)ha 2 yes 2 sp&"k.4 2 #ried 7. sy patheti#a$$y. 2 4My sp&"k(s spe"di"% i" yo&r #&"t dear.4 2 4)her.4 2 4Yhes 2 f&#k.4 a"d i" a 7abe$ of $as#i1io&s #ries. bodies hea1i"%. arses 0o%%i" short 0o%s. #&"ts *ri%%$i"% a"d %rippi"%. be$$ies ar thi%hs sh&dderi"% *ith the $&s#io&s p$eas&re. o&t she o&r sp&"k. The" be"di"% o1er o&r *o e". *ith %e"t$est o1e e"ts s3&ee-i"% o&r pri#ks i"to the #&"t %or%ed to o1erf$o*i"% *ith the soft &#&s. i" soothi"% baths of o&r b$e"ded spe"di"%s $ay o&r pri#ks *e$te6i"%. a$$ of &s 3&iet. e!ha&sted. dyi"% a*ay after the de$iri& of the #risis. disso$1i"% i" the $i"%eri"%. b$iss f&$. soothi"% 1o$&pt&o&s"ess of o&r se!&a$ p$eas&re. of $i1io&s of a$$ b&t the b$essed #o"0&"#tio" of pri#k a"d #&"t.
edit by glad ??

VOLUME 11

S&#h b$iss #a"(t $ast fore1er. 2 ;ith se"ses ret&r"i"% *e e" stood ere#t. pri#ks sti$$ i" #&"ts. b&t d*i"d$i"% i" the $&bri#io&s e &$sio" of o&r aki"%. ;e take sti$$ ho$di"% &p the *o e"(s $e%s. *ho $ay *ith h& F eyes. %$ad to retai" the p$eas&re %i1i"% i p$e e"ts t the . 4,as he spe"t &#h ,./4 2 4Lots. I( f&$$. it r&""i"% o&t of y #&"t.4 said ,. 2 for I tho&%ht of he first. 2 4Let e see.4 2 4Yo& sha"(t yo& beast.4 6 $a&%hi"%. 2 4+o"(t $et her $e%s #$ose Fa"#y. 2 keep yo&r thi%hs apart 7.4 2 Fa"#y e"tered i"to the f&" a"d *ithdre* his drippi"% pe%o as i"e 3&itted 7.(s %$&tio&s %ap. I #$osed o" ,.. a"d sa* fat sper ro$$i"% fro her heated 3&i 2 opa3&e a"d thi" to%ether. 6 ,e(d spe"t f&$$y. I had de$&%ed 7.(s $itt$e ti%ht 1&$1a ,. ope"ed *ider sti$$ her thi%hs for y i"spe#tio". I had $eft the *o e". ha1i"%. it see ed. "o taste for the %$orio&s si%ht. a"d be%a" *ashi"% his too$. ,. *ho k"e* y $et#h a"d had her o*". tho sayi"% 47east.4 re ai"ed 3&ies#e"t. e!pe#ta"t. 2 She kite the si%ht *o&$d sti &$ate y $&st. a"d I fe$t her $o1e $&bri#io&s %ap *ith o"e ha"d. a"d *ith the other 7 &#i$a%i"o&s 1&$1a. ,o* s ooth a"d $ar%e #&"ts fee$ after their spe"d. a"d the a$e $ibatio"s are i" the . 2 I p$&"%ed for a se#o"d y fi"%ers &p both #&"ts. I padd$ed i" the sper a"d y pri#k stiffe"ed. p&$sated *ith desire. O$d $et#hes #a e o" e. I p&t y pri#k &p ,. 7&t *he" ha$f e"tered. shaki"% her head si$e"t$y she p&shed e off a"d *i"ked. $ooki"% a#ross at hi . *ith his r& p to*ards &s *as sti$$ *ashi"% I &"der6stood. she did"(t *ish hi to see that. Soo" after he did. The" a$$ *ashed. The *o e" s3&atti"%. ,. be%i""i"% to pidd$e after ab$&tio". I p&t y ha"d a"d #a&%ht the a ber strea . at *hi#h he $a&%hed. 2 'aked the" a$$ sat do*". the abbess bro&%ht ore #ha pa%"e. a"d said it *as a pretty si%ht to see &s "aked. )s *e dra"k. ,. *ith o"e ha"d *as fee$i"% his pri#k as they sat to%ether o" the sofa. 7$a#k sitti"% o" y thi%h *as fee$i"% i"e. 2 Is"(t his a fi"e pri#k/4 said ,. It had s*o$$e" a%ai". The abbess fe$t it. #h&#k$ed a"d said. 4)i"(t it a bea&ty/4 The" after fee$i"% i"e a"d patti"% ,.(s ha&"#hes. 2 4,as"(t she a "i#e b& / 2 t*o pri#ks sta"di"%. 2 Oh9 ;hat a pretty si%ht.4 a"d the" she $eft the roo . ;e p&t o" #he ises a"d shirts. for hot as it *as. i" o&r #$i ate $o"% #o"ti"&ed "&dity ofte" #a&ses #hi$$i"ess. Ta$k of pri#k a"d #&"t a"d f&#ki"% the *e"t o". a"d of b&t $itt$e e$se. e1ery "o* a"d the" fee$i"% o&r pri#ks a"d #&"ts 3&ite i"dis#ri i"ate$y. he i"e. I his. $ifti"% shirts a"d #he ise at ti es to %ratify o&r eyes. ,. "o* fee$i"% his a"d i"e at the sa e ti e. ,. $o$$i"% ba&di$y o" a sofa *ith hi . 7. a"d I $o$$i"% &po" the bed. More #ha pa%"e a"d ore pissi"%. I he$d his too$ to see the *atery spo&t. The" *e p$a#ed the *o e" a%ai"st the bedside *ith b& s to*ards &s. to #o pare the bea&ty of their "ot#hes. the" s$appi"% their b&tto#ks *ith o&r pri#ks. p&$$i"% the hairy $ips apart. ti#k$i"% the stripes *ith to"%&es. a"d other $as#i1io&s *hi s a"d fa"#ies. o&r passio"s *ere soo" ro&sed. ,. said. 4Let(s f&#k.4 2 before *e e" *ere ready. 2 I k"e* the $ot of spe"di"% she #o&$d
45

MY SECRET LIFE

%i1e. the f&#ki"% she "eeded *he" i" r&t as she *as today 2 the day $o"% a"ti#ipated a"d prepared for. 2 )%ai" a$$ stripped a"d *e"t to the so&$ stirri"%. de$i#io&s. se!&a$ e bra#e. The e bra#e *he" a" a"d *o a" are a"%e$s to ea#h other. tho the po*er of f&#ki"% is the %ift of e1ery a"i a$ i" #reatio". is the f&"#tio" of a beast. 7&t ho* +i1i"e the p$eas&re i" body a"d i"d *he" doi"% it. 4I *o"(t f&#k yet I($$ %a ah&#he.4 2 said I. *ishi"% to h&sba"d y sper . ,. ready. ope"ed her thi%hs. a"d y to"%&e ti#k$ed her ti$$ she *e"t off shrieki"% i" her 1o$&pt&o&s de$iri& . She *as fri%%i"% 7. *ith o"e ha"d. ho$di"% Fa"#y(s pri#k 2 *hi#h "o* a%ai" stood "ob$y 2 *ith the other. 2 ,. a"d I s&%%ested a$$. he see ed passi1e b&t ready. 2 4:a ah&#he e.4 said she to hi dire#t$y I had %i1e" her p$eas&re. +o*" he k"e$t a"d $i#ked her 1&$1a *hi#h she(d o"$y *iped. She did"(t dis%&ise her p$eas&re. %a1e *ay to it *ith a$$ its de$iri& of o1e e"ts a"d *ords. 4Oh 2 :od %o o" 2 ahrr 2 fee$ his pri#k 2 is it stiff/4 I fe$t his ri%id staff *ith $as#i1io&s de$i%ht. 2 4Stiff as a poker.4 4)haa. 2 I #a" see yo& 2 aha 2 fri% it.4 2 I did. 2 4)ha. I sha$$ spe"d 2 do"(t ake hi 2 spe"d. 2 )ha 2 sp&"k 2 f&#k.4 2 a"d a%ai" her #&"t %a1e o&t its pear$y 0&i#es *hi$st 1io$e"t$y she fri%%ed 7$a#k *ho $ay o" the bed "e!t her *ith head t&r"ed to*ards. a"d *at#hi"% her rapt&res. Up he %ot *ith oiste"ed $ips. a"d *itho&t a *ord p$&"%ed his bi% pe%o &p her. she "othi"% $oath. I *at#hed the for a *hi$e. the" $ooked be"eath his ba$$o#ks *hi#h *as a p$e i" si-e. *e$$ *ri"k$ed. the" took it i" y ha"d a"d s3&ee-ed it %e"t$y. ) sh&dder of de$i%ht passed thro&%h hi . 4I( fee$i"% his ba$$s. 2 S&#k y pri#k. 7$a#k dear.4 2 4I *a"t to fri% her.4 said ,. 24'o. #o e.4 2 7. #a e a"d stoopi"% took the red tip of y pe%o i"to her o&th. a"d to"%&ed a"d $i#ked a"d p$ayed *ith it. *hi$st I he$d his ba$$s. $ooki"% at ,.(s fa#e. )"d he f&#ked o" ti$$ her hea1e"$y s i$e #a e. The" he %roa"ed $i%ht$y a"d a%ai" fi$$ed her 1&$1a *ith his sper . Taki"% y pri#k fro o&t 7.(s o&th I p&shed it bet*ee" his b&tto#k f&rro*. ti$$ it to&#hed his ba$$o#ks 2 o&t #a e his pri#k. a"d at o"#e I *e"t bet*ee" ,.(s thi%hs. #a&%ht &p her droopi"% $e%s. a"d r&shed y pri#k "o* b&rsti"% *ith desire. &p her $&bri#ated #&"t. o1erf$o*i"% a%ai" *ith his &#i$a%e. She $a&%hed a$o&d "o*. a"d so did he. Cha pa%"e *as doi"% its *ork. a$$ odesty. if *e(d had a"y. *as %o"e. I thr&st a"d thr&st. %$oryi"% i" its $&bri#ity. i" bei"% i" the soft a1e"&e his pri#k had 3&itted. 2 7. spra"% o" the bed. 2 4Sho* e yo&r b& .4 said he. 2 ;ith her b&tto#ks t&r"ed to*ards hi . 2 4F&#k e so.4 said she. 2 7&t he(d 0&st spe"t. a"d to see e f&#ki"% *as his p$eas&re. ,e had"(t *ashed. 2 4Let e fee$ yo&r pri#k.4 said I. 2 4Let e fee$ it.4 #ried ,. *ith e!#ited eyes. Re$i"3&ishi"% o"e of her $e%s I %rasped his too$ 2 a fi"e bi% ha"df&$ e1e" "o* 2 a"d p&$$ed hi by it #$ose to e. ,. p&t the $e% I(d dropped &p a"d resti"% o" his ha&"#h. The" fee$i"% hi . $ooki"% at 7.(s $itt$e b$a#k haired "ot#h po&ti"% red fro bet*ee" her b&tto#ks. I f&#ked a"d spe"t. a"d that ra"dy de1i$ ,. spe"t a%ai".
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VOLUME 11

4;hy did"(t yo& f&#k e/4 said 7. a"%ri$y. as I p&$$ed y pri#k o&t of ,.(s #&"t. She *as a $itt$e e$e1ated a"d 3&arre$so e. 2 4:a ah&#he her.4 said ,. *ho sat &p $ooki"% "o* fati%&ed i" her eyes 2 "o *o"6der/ 2 4Yo& did"(t spe"d *ith e.4 said I. 2 4I($$ s*ear I did.4 2 I k"e* her for#e. her stirri"% $e*ed"ess. b&t $iked to tease her so. I p&shed her ba#k a"d p&t y fi"%ers &p her #&"t. *hi$st *at#hi"% 7.. *ho i" a te per p&shed Fa"#y off. *ho *as %a ah&#hi"% her. 4Yo& do"(t do it "i#e.4 2 ;e a$$ $a&%hed. 2 4F&#k e.4 2 4I #a"(t yet.4 said he. 2 4I($$ fri% y6se$f. $et e fee$ yo&r pri#k.4 ,. %ot off the bed. 2 7. $ayed herse$f $e"%th*ise o" it. a"d fe$t his pri#k he sta"di"% by her side. *hi$st she fri%%ed herse$f. The" 2 4F&#k e. I hate fri%%i"%.4 a"d %etti"% off she r&shed to the #ha pa%"e. 2 There *as "o"e. 2 4Yo& ha1e had e"o&%h.4 said ,. 2 4I ha1e"(t. a"d yo&(1e had a$$ the f&#ki"%.4 2 4;hat if I ha1e/4 2 ,. *as o" the pot pissi"% as she spoke. 2 The" *as a *ra"%$e. i" *hi#h ,. to$d 7. she(d #o e there to he$p to a &se &s. a"d i%ht $ea1e if she $iked. More #ha pa%"e. 7$a#k %ot 3&ite s#re*ed a"d o&tra%eo&s$y ba&dy. ad for pri#k. ;e *ere a$$ %etti"% s#re*ed a"d Fa"#y parti#&$ar$y so. )" ho&r ra" a*ay. ,. *o&$d"(t i"ette e or hi . 2 4:a ah&#he e 7.. a"d *he" stiff I($$ f&#k yo&.4 said I. 2 4'o. yo& f&#k e *hi$st I %a ah&#he hi .4 2 ,. *as the" ha"d$i"% F.(s too$ b&t re$i"3&ished it. I $aid o" the bed a"d 7. i"etted e to ri%idity. the" I to"%&e ti#k$ed her 3&i a $itt$e. the" o" the bedside k"ee$i"% o1er her. she s&#ki"% e. Fa"#y f&#ked her. $ooki"% at y r& p. ,. $ooki"% o" a"d fee$i"% his ba$$o#ks fro behi"d. 4S&#k o".4 I #ried. 7&t 7. *ho had before ha$f fri%%ed herse$f spe"t a"d $et %o y pri#k $ea1i"% e &"6fi"ished. 2 4,e(s a fi"e pri#k.4 *ere the first *ords she &ttered. 2 4,e has.4 said ,. e&$o%isti#a$$y. More #ha pa%"e a"d s*eet #akes se"t for. 4Let(s f&#k o" the bed. side by side.4 2 4)$$ ri%ht. I($$ pidd$e first.4 2 4+o it i" the basi".4 2 4)$$ ri%ht.4 2 7oth *o e" ready for a"ythi"%. o&"ted the bed a"d pissed i" basi"s. *e *at#hi"% the strea s. 2 7$a#k $ost her ba$a"#e. fe$$ ba#k. a"d ti$ted o1er her basi" to*ards the bedside. 2 ;e p&$$ed her &p to the bed ed%e a"d she #o p$eted her sho*er. 2 The" he he$d the basi" &"der 7.(s b& . *hi$st he ope"ed 7.(s #&"t $ips. a"d I pissed a%ai"st it. )$$ this *ith $a&%hter a"d sho&ti"%s 2 a$$ $e*ed to o&r ba#kbo"es. The abbess #a e &p. said *e *ere aki"% a dreadf&$ "oise. a"d so e frie"ds of hers *ere be$o*. ) $itt$e 3&ieted. soo" after *e p&t both o&r pri#ks i"to both #&"ts. a"d ta$ked abo&t that. The" *e o&"ted the bed. he f$i#ked ,.. I f&#ked 7$a#k. both #o&p$es side by side a"d #$ose to%ether. ;e had fa"#ies e1e" the". a"d $yi"% o" the top of the fe$t ea#h other(s *o a". a"d sho*ed o&r pri#ks. 2 The" e"#o&ra%i"% ea#h other ba&di$y. *e f&#ked ti$$ *e spe"t a idst a #hor&s of $&stf&$ *ords. @&st the" i" #a e the abbess. a%ai". a"d s a#ked y r& p as I *as $yi"% o" 7.. a"d %i1i"% her the $ast *ri%%$e *ith y pri#k.

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The" *e had tea 2 the" ore *i"e 2 a"d a%ai" i"6#ited ea#h other to f&rther e!er#ise. 2 :ro%%y. *eary. f&#ked o&t a$$. yet $e*ed sti$$. *e kissed a$$ ro&"d a"d the" $eft o"e by o"e. I first. a"d "e1er sha$$ see the $ike a%ai". 2 It *as a" or%y. )t o&r "e!t eeti"%. ,. a"d I ta$ked abo&t "othi"% e$se. parti#&$ar$y of 7$a#k(s sa&#i"ess a"d of F.(s propa%ator. 4;e had 7. to a &se &s. a"d s&ppose she had"(t bee" f&#ked at a$$.4 said ,.. a"d 2 4,as"(t he a fi"e pri#k/4 She *ished *e #o&$d ha1e it a$$ o1er a%ai". 2 4>hi$ip(s pri#k %i1es yo& 0&st as &#h p$eas&re.4 2 4Yes. b&t I $ike to fee$ a bi% o"e4 2 I reproa#hed her for *hat she had do"e. for the risk she ra" of destroyi"% her positio" a"d happi"ess. 2 4,e($$ be a$*ays after yo&.4 2 She rep$ied that it *o&$d"(t at6ter. that they *ere %oi"% to o1e i$es a*ay. that he *as %oi"% to ) eri#a. 7&t she *as fri%hte"ed. a"d *o&$d "e1er see hi a%ai" she said Eso it e1e"t&atedF. E)$$ the eroti# *hi s *hi#h t*o e" a"d t*o *o e" #o&$d do to%ether i" fi1e ho&rs. I thi"k *e did. This part of the "arrati1e is 0&st as it *as *ritte" at the ti e.F

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?B

VOLUME 11

Chapter VI )t a La"#ashire seaport. ) i$$ha"d. The $ast "i%ht of har$otti"%. )t the brothe$. Si"%&$ar bea&ty. Si"%&$ar history. T*o frisky *ork e". Ca&%ht by a rope. Le*ed ta$k. Le*ed *a"ts. ) ha"dy #offee shop. O"e p$eas&red. o"e pai"ed. )"other f$a%e$$atio" at the )bbess(s. ) strai%ht haired #&"t to"s&red. ,.(s $et#h for "o1e$ty. The barrister %ratified. F&#ki"% i" asks. I" $ate a&t& " this year I *as at a La"#ashire sea6port to*". a"d at abo&t fi1e o(#$o#k o"e after"oo". *a"deri"% abo&t $ooki"% at the shops. "oti#ed a *e$$ ade. *e$$ %ro*" *o a". *ith a" abso$&te$y $o1e$y fa#e a"d ar1e$$o&s$y #$ear #o p$e!io" 2 tho perhaps too *hite 2 *ho *as sa&"teri"% a$o"% doi"% the sa e. I stood #$ose to her *hi$st she $ooked at a bo"6"et shop. b&t she took "o "oti#e of e. ;as she a har6$ot or "ot. *a"deri"% abo&t a$o"e/ I(d had "o se!&a$ desire before. "o* i" a i"&te it o1er*he$ ed 2 de6sire for her. She *as dressed $ike a %e"tee$. poorish. idd$e #$ass *o a" e!#essi1e$y p$ai"$y. b&t the dress *as *or" *ith s&#h a" air of disti"#tio". that for the o e"t I #hased the idea of her a##essibi$ity. 2 I fo$$o*ed her a $o"% dista"#e "oti#i"% the s*i"% of her ha&"#hes. a"d the *ay she p$a#ed her pretty feet *hi#h *ere 1isib$e 6 for her petti#oats *ere short. 2 ,er boots tho "eat *ere #o o" a"d thi#k. She took "o "oti#e of passers by. "or they of her. She #a""ot be a str& pet tho&%ht I. b&t a ha"dso e offer ay %et her if she(s poor. 2 7&t *here take her to/ For I k"e* "o p$a#e. )ba"do"i"% ha$f for ed i"te"tio"s. yet *ith a 1o$&pt&o&s pe%o I stopped. a"d 0&st the" she t&r"ed ro&"d a"d re6tra#ed her steps. eeti"% e. $ooki"% #as&a$$y at e 0&st as a"y other *o a" i%ht. I t&r"ed ro&"d a"d fo$$o*ed her. sti$$ *ith &"defi"ed i"te"tio". )%ai" she stopped at a shop. I stopped too a"d re6 arked that *hat she *as $ooki"% at *as pretty. She 3&iet$y $ooked at e a"d a%reed that it *as. ,er a""er ade e "o* thi"k she *as to be had. She *a$ked o" a"d I did by her side. 2 4,o* $o1e$y yo& are. $et e %o ho e *ith yo&.4 2 4)h9 'o 2 i possib$e 2 %ood day Sir.4 a"d she t&r"ed ro&"d. Yet there *as so e6thi"% i" her a""er 2 I k"e* "ot *hat 2 *hi#h fai"t$y bespoke the #o&rte-a". ;ith hope I t&r"ed ro&"d a$so. a"d *a$ked by her side repeati"% y *ish. aski"% her to ha1e a %$ass of *i"e. a"d so o". 2 She be%%ed e to %o. *as *aiti"% for a frie"d. it *o&$d do her har if she *ere see" *a$ki"% *ith a %e"t$e a". 2 Yes. she e!pe#ted hi e1ery i"&te. 2 4I *ish I *ere he. I(d %i1e a #o&p$e of so1erei%"s to be ha$f a" ho&r *ith yo&.4 She stopped short at o"#e a"d $ooked at e. 4) #o&p$e of so1erei%"s9 That *o&$d be a he$p to &s 0&st "o*.4 2 She said this as if ref$e#ti"%. as if speaki"% to herse$f. 2 The" a%ai" she *a$ked o". I keepi"% sti$$ by her side b&t keepi"% si$e"#e.
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4+o"(t #o e *ith e. I( e!pe#ti"% y $ad.4 The" she hesitated. the" *e"t o". 4If he does"(t #o e by this. he #a"(t #o e for t*o ho&rs 2 te$$ e the ti e.4 2 I did. 4)" he #o e. *e($$ be off to%ether at o"#e. if "ot a"d ye($$ %i1e e t*o so1erei%"s. ye ay. b&t I ai"(t %ot "o $od%i"%s. I(1e %i1e" the &p. for I( off to"i%ht a"d for %ood.4 The" she said she &st *ait f&$$ te" i"&tes to ake s&re. she(d *a$k &p a"d do*". I *as to *ait at the #or"er of a street she poi"ted o&t. the" if her $ad had"(t arri1ed she be *ith e. 2 She spoke i" broad La"#ashire dia$e#t. *hi#h I do "ot atte pt to i itate. a"d *hi#h at ti es I #o&$d s#ar#e$y &"dersta"d. 'e1er did te" i"&tes see so $o"% to e. 2 I #o&"ted e1ery i"&te i" a fe1er of i patie"#e. pi#t&red her se#ret #har s to yse$f. *o"deri"% at sp$it. otte. thi%hs. *hether she(d f&#k *e$$. a"d if she *a"ted f&#ki"%. )t ti es I f&rti1e$y fe$t y pe%o *hi#h kept risi"% a"d fa$$i"% *ith $&st. a"d feared I sho&$d "ot ha1e her. for f&$$ te" i"&tes had passed *he" she appeared. 4;here sha$$ *e %o/4 said I. 2 4I(1e "o $od%i"%s "o* a"d o"$y k"o* a poor p$a#e abo&t here.4 2 I *o&$d ha1e %o"e to a pi% sty *ith her. a"d i" fi1e i"&tes the poor p$a#e he$d &s. It *as a $itt$e obs#&re ho&se i" a #o&rt. a$ ost a #otta%e. *ith t*o roo s for hire. b&t the bed roo *as #o fortab$e *ith a %ood fire. 4My $ad #a"(t be here for t*o ho&rs a"d a ha$f "o*. there be(a"t a"other trai" yet. a"d ye($$ %ie e t*o/4 said she the i"sta"t the door *as #$osed. 2 My rep$y *as to prod&#e the #oi"s a"d p&t the i"to her ha"d. 2 4It *i$$ do &s a po*er of %ood 0&st "o*. a"d ye($$ be the $ast.4 2 4;hy/4 2 4I( %oi"% a*ay to "i%ht to be arried.4 2 I s#ar#e$y heeded *hat she said bei"% so i patie"t for y p$eas&re. a"d p&t y ha"d &p her petti#oats. She rep&$sed the . a"d I tho&%ht for the i"sta"t she *as %oi"% to bi$k e. 'ot the first ti e that idea has #o e o1er e *he" *ith a %ay *o a". 4Let(s fee$ it.4 2 4;ait a bit. yo& sha$$. do"(t fear.4 Co posed i" a""er a"d as &"$ike a har$ot as possib$e. she took off bo""et a"d 0a#ket ost #aref&$$y a"d the" sat do*". 4Let(s fee$ yo&r #&"t.4 2 4I *i$$.4 Stoopi"% I p&shed y ha"d &p her petti#oats. a"d fe$t the si$ky fri"%ed "ot#h. 2 4Ye(re i" a h&rry4 2 $a&%hi"%. 4Take yo&r thi"%s off a"d $et e see yo&r #&"t.4 2 4Yo& sha$$. 2 yo& sha$$. 2 "e1er fear 2 *ait a bit.4 S$o*$y she took the off 2 I di61ested yse$f of #$othi"% a"d sho*ed y pri#k. 2 4Ohooo.4 she *hispered. a"d stopped &"dressi"%. 4Take the off.4 2 4;hat. a$$/ 2 There4 2 a"d she stood "aked. ) ore bea&tif&$$y ade *o a" I "e1er sa*. a"d for a i"&te *as spee#h$ess *ith ad iratio". the" fo$ded her i" y ar s. kissi"%. e!to$$i"% her $o1e$i"ess. pressi"% y stiff pri#k a%ai"st her be$$y *ith i"e. 2 The". 2 sti$$ both sta"di"% 2 y fi"%ers *ere titi$$ati"% her $o1e seat. *he" 3&iet$y her ha"d sto$e do*" a"d #$asped y pe%o. a"d so *e stood si$e"t. I(d ro&sed her passio". 4Let e see it.4 ;itho&t rep$y. o" to the bed she %ot a"d $aid *ith
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VOLUME 11

thi%hs apart. ) h&rried $ook at the pretty %roo1e. a s"iff a kiss o" the otte. a fi"%er thr&st rapid$y &p a"d do*" the oist a1e"&e. 2 4Let(s f&#k4 2 "e!t i"&te *e *ere e bra#i"% *ith 1o$&pt&o&s %e"t$e si%hs. y pri#k e"#$osed i" her $&bri#io&s #&"t a"d %$idi"% &p a"d do*". o&r bodies o"e5 a"d ah too soo". #a e ti%hte"i"% of her #&"t aro&"d y pri#k. *hi#h throbbed a"d spe"t. a"d *e $ay 3&iet$y i" ea#h other(s ar s i" soft repose. The" soo" after. 4Yo& e"6 0oyed it/4 a foo$ish 3&estio" b&t I a$*ays p&t it. 2 She ade "o rep$y. b&t patted y arse #heeks i" a" affe#tio"ate. #oa!i"% a""er. I &"#&"ted at $ast a"d she 4It(s #o$d. 2 Let e p&t o" y #he ise.4 She did. *e rose. pissed. *ashed 2 the &s&a$ ro&ti"e 2 the" sat by the fire 2 tho it *as"(t 1ery #o$d *eather. 2 She asked e to %i1e her 4a %$ass.4 2 4;hat/4 4;hiskey.4 2 That *as bro&%ht. I(d bee" *eari"% a #ape *hi#h "o* I p&t o1er her. a"d p&t o" y o*" fro#k #oat o1er y shirt. the" dri"ki"% *e sat a"d ta$ked side by side. The e#stati# se!&a$ e 6bra#e #oo$s desire. a"d for a ti e eroti# #&riosity is a$6 ost dead. b&t it soo" re1i1ed i" e. a"d I be%a" t*idd$i"% her 3&i . 4I ai"(t i" a h&rry.4 said she the". to$d e her history. part$y before. part$y after o&r se#o"d e bra#e. b&t its to$d here #o"ti"&o&s$y. 4Yes. a i$$ha"d. at a #otto" i$$.4 2 )t se1e"tee" the yo&"% aster 4did e.4 ,er father *as a" e"%i"eer at the i$$. fo&"d it o&t soo" after. ki#ked &p a ro*. a"d a h&"dred po&"ds *as %i1e" hi as da 6a%es. for the da a%e do"e to her 1ir%i"ity. 2 The o"ey &"sett$ed hi . he dra"k a bit. she $eft the i$$. *orked the" steadi$y at ho e for a *hi$e. a"d "o o"e e"tered her preser1e. a"d the". so eho* she 4$o"%ed for a bit.4 she s&pposed 2 a"d %ot f&#ked a%ai". 2 4Yes. for $o1e o"$y.4 a"d the" t&r"ed har$ot. ) yo&"% a" i" the i$$ a$so a e#ha"i#ia". k"e* her history. k"e* her father. fo&"d her o&t. f&#ked her har$ot *ise. fe$$ i" $o1e *ith her. the" f&#ked for $o1e a"d she a$so *ith hi . She sa1ed o"ey. a"d he sa1ed a bit. her father appro1ed a"d %a1e &p *hat he(d "ot spe"t i" $i3&or. her sed&#er had pro ised t*e"ty po&"ds *he" they *ere arried. a"d they *ere %oi"% to arry a"d ope" a $itt$e shop at H H H H *here he(d fo&"d *ork. 2 ,e *as #o i"% there "o* to eet her *he" I had. if he #o&$d %et a*ay i" ti e. b&t #ertai"$y he *o&$d %et a*ay i" ti e. b&t #ertai"$y he *o&$d #o e by the "e!t trai". ,er bo! *as at the statio". she(d %i1e" &p the key of her $od%i"% 2 that ba&dy ho&se *as the o"$y p$a#e she #o&$d *ait i" 4ti$$ I eet y $ad.4 4I did"(t ea" to $et yo& 2 I(1e "ot do"e it for a *eek a"d to$d hi I *o&$d"(t. b&t o"ey *i$$ be so &sef&$ to &s at a start.4 2 4Oh do"(t 2 yo&($$ ake e 3&eer.4 2 4Oh. do"(t ta$k of hi 2 #o e o" a"d do it the".4 Le*ed she *as *ith ta$k. *ith titi$$atio". a"d her fee$ of y shaft. a"d o" the bed a%ai" *e f&#ked. She *a"ted it ore tha" before. as I %&essed by her #$asp. the *ay her to"%&e et i"e. her s3&ee-e of y b&tto#ks. her hea1es. 3&ie1rs a"d $o1e si%hs. She *as o"$y ei%htee" a"d a ha$f. yet her for *as f&$$ a"d perfe#t as three a"d t*e"ty. She(d the $o1e$iest thi%hs. the s*eetest $itt$e si$ky fri"%ed "ot#h.
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s#ar#e$y "y phae or #$itoris 2 3&ite a yo&"% %ir$(s #&"t. 2 She *as pro&d of her shape a"d *i$$i"%$y $et e see a$$. de6$i%hted *ith y praise. ,er a""ers *ere &tter$y &"6$ike those of a *hore. The hair o" head a"d tai$ *as $i%ht #hest"&t. "o dark stai" *as o" her b& f&rro* *hi#h *as "ear$y as *hite as her b&tto#ks. a"d they *ere i1ory. It %re* dark soo" after I *as there a"d *e had #a"d$es 2 for *hi#h they #har%ed e!tra 2 a"d I he$d o"e to the f&rro* to i"spe#t her *hi$st she k"e$t o" the bed. The" after a ti e &"ab$e to tai$ her a third ti e. I %a1e her p$eas&re *ith y to"%&e. a"d "e1er $i#ked a ore de$i#ate #$itoris. She(d a fa#e ha"dso e i" her bo""et. b&t it *as far ore bea&tif&$ *itho&t it. ,er eyes *ere dark b$&e. 2 She had"(t the s$i%htest $ook or a$$&re of a str& pet. The *hiskey ade her ta$k free$y. a"d *e had $ots of ti e. Fi1e shi$$i"%s *as her &s&a$ fee. 2 4For I do"(t dress $ike s*e$$ o"es.4 2 4'o. "ot ofte" te" 2 I do"(t $ike speaki"% to %e"ts. 2 I(1e o"$y bee" three o"ths at the b&si"ess a"d do"(t $ike it 2 "or the %a$s.4 4;hy did I %o to i$$*ork/ Father ade e so as to $ook after e. he said. other did"(t *a"t e to %o. Yo& ay *ait a"d see e *ith hi b&t do"(t #o e "ear e. I( 3&ite s&re he($$ #o e for e. 2 I sha"(t te$$ hi *hat I(1e do"e to"i%ht. I *o&$d"t( ha( do"e it b&t *e *a"t o"ey so.4 I *aited i" the dista"#e. sa* her eet a"d %o to*ards the statio" *ith a de#e"t yo&"% a". her $ad e1ide"t$y. 2 I(1e et fro ti e to ti e so e i"teresti"% har$ots a"d this *as o"e of the . so retai" the "arrati1e abo&t her. Late o" a d&$$. oist. dark "i%ht i" 'o1e ber. I *as passi"% a$o"% a 3&iet street i" a poor "ei%hbo&rhood. *he" t*o *o e" approa#hed e si"%i"% a"d $o&d$y $a&%hi"%. They he$d a short rope bet*ee" the . a"d as they #a e "ear. thi"ki"% the a #o o" fro$i#kso e a"d ha$f s#re*ed #o&p$e. I o1ed to the ed%e of the foot*ay to $et the pass. They $arki"%. $e"%the"ed the rope. a"d #a&%ht a"d e"t*i"ed e *ith it 0&st be$o* y hips. $a&%hi"% hearti$y at their tri#k. 2 4;e(1e #a&%ht yo& yo&"% a". *hat *i$$ yo& sta"d/4 2 It *as #$ose to a %as$a p. a"d seei"% it *as a ha"dso e. bo$d fa#ed *o a" *ho spoke. 2 4Sta"d y dear/ 2 It *o"(t sta"d a"y ore. yo&(1e p&$$ed it off *ith the rope. $ook for it.4 2 I happe"ed to ha1e a hottish ba$$o#ks that "i%ht. a"d ba&dy rep$ies #a e "at&ra$$y 2 tho far fro bei"% yo&"%. )t that both $a&%hed so hearti$y a"d I as *e$$. a"d *e sta"di"% #$ose to%ether 2 the rope sti$$ ro&"d e. 2 ade s&#h a "oise. that so e o"e o" the other side of the *ay stopped to $ook at &s. 2 4I #a"(t see it.4 said the bi%%est a"d p$& p o"e. *ho $ooked abo&t fi1e a"d t*e"ty. The other a s$i . poor $ooki"% #reat&re of abo&t ei%htee". o"$y %i%%$ed. a"d the" be#a e si$e"t. 4It(s bet*ee" yo&r thi%hs perhaps.4 2 4,o. ho. ho 2 it ai"(t yo&(re *eari"% it sti$$.4 2 4,e. he. he.4 %i%%$ed the s$i o"e. 2 4'o. bet*ee" yo&r thi%hs 2 $et e fee$ there. 2 It *as stiff a"d if I fi"d it there I($$ %i1e yo& fi1e shi$$i"%s. a"d yo& sha$$ p&t it ba#k if yo& #a". I #a"(t %o ho e *itho&t it.4 2 4,o. ho. ho 2 *hat/4 2 4My pe%.4 2 a"d I p&shed at her #$othes i" the re%io" of her #&"t. 2 4:i1e e the fi1e bob the" a"d yo& sha$$.4 2 4>o$$y 2 >o$$y 2 yer do"(t k"o* *hat yer
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abo&t.4 said the other re o"strati"%. 2 4,is pe% 2 ho. ho. ho.4 $a&%hed the other. They *ere %a e I sa*. *hores they did"(t see to be. b&t *orkers of a poor #$ass a"d *ho de#ided$y had bee" dri"ki"%. That #$ass does"(t i"d ba&dy $a"%&a%e. they hear e"o&%h of it. 2 4I #a$$ it a pe% to $adies. b&t there(s a"other "a e.4 2 4Te$$ &s.4 2 4>o$$y 2 #o e a$o"%.4 2 4Fee$ if it(s o" yer yet. 2 ,o. ho.4 a"d >o$$y $a&%hed sti$$. as &"t*i"i"% the rope she *as p&tti"% her ha"ds bet*ee" the fo$d of y %reat #oat. *he" the other p&$$ed the a*ay. 4>o$$y 2 yer do"(t k"o* *hat yer abo&t.4 2 4Sh&t &p.4 2 said >o$$y. 4Co e a$o"%.4 2 4I sha"(t.4 4Let(s ha1e a %$ass of *i"e a"d I($$ fee$ if yo&(1e %ot it abo&t yo& dear.4 said I. 2 4Yo&(1e %ot it ri%ht e"o&%h.4 2 4Lord. so I ha1e. a"d it(s sti$$ stiff.4 2 The" the other 2 "a ed Sarah 2 a%ai" reb&ked the e$der. said she sho&$d %o a"d *as to$d she i%ht. b&t. 4+o"(t be a foo$. #o e a"d ha1e a dri"k *ith the %e"t.4 2 *hi#h I(d offered. 2 4Fo$$o* &s. there(s a "i#e >&b aro&"d the "e!t street.4 said >o$$y. *ho see ed to k"o* the $o#a$ity. I *as %oi"% to the p&b. k"o*i"% that 7a##h&s he$ps Ve"&s. a"d thi"ki"% I i%ht so eho* %et i"to the p$& p o"e *ho(d e!#ited y desires. *he" it o##&rred to e as "ot desirab$e to be see" by a #ha"#e ed$ey of poor peop$e. at a p&b$i# ho&se i" a poor "ie%hbo&rhood "o*. a"d be#a&se she *as so #oarse a"d #o o" 2 si"%&$ar are y $et#hes 2 a"d perhaps *o&$d ha1e %o"e to the >&b. soo"er tha" $ose the #ha"#e of seei"% *hat I k"e* *as a spa"ki"% b& .. )t the street #or"er *as a poor $ooki"% #offee shop. 4Let(s %o i" here. they($$ fet#h &s a$$ *e *a"t.4 said I. 2 I" *e t*o *e"t. the other $oitered o&tside. 2 4I($$ *ait for yo&.4 2 4Co e i". do"(t be a foo$.4 a"d i" #a e Sarah. They(d "othi"% b&t tea a"d #offee. b&t they fet#hed &s $i3&or for *hi#h they #har%ed hi%h$y. They sat at a tab$e i" a #or"er *ith e. the t*o dra"k %i" a"d *ater. the e$dest(s to"%&e ra" o" i"#essa"t$y. I #haffi"% ba&di$y b&t *itho&t fra"k *ords. she de$i%hted rep$yi"% a"d $ooki"% i" y eyes $&stf&$$y. The" &"der the tab$e I %rasped her $ar%e thi%h o&tside her #$othes. a"d "&d%ed her be$$y. 4'o*. do"(t.4 2 4It(s there.4 2 4It ai"(t.4 2 4It is.4 2 4;hat/4 2 4+o"(t. >o$$y.4 said the thi" o"e a%ai". 2 @&st the" i" #a e o"e $ooki"% $ike a #ab6 a". *ho bo&%ht a ro$$ a"d b&tter. a"d disappeared *ith it. b&t he(d eyed &s so the *ho$e ti e he *as there that I fe$t &"#o fortab$e. a"d so soo" as he had %o"e. asked if they had a pri1ate roo . The istress said 4'o.4 $ooked at the aid. a"d they he$d a #o"1ersatio" i" a $o* to"e. The" she said they had "o pri1ate roo s. b&t there *as o"e I i%ht ha1e ti$$ the ho&se *as #$osed. I a##epted it. a"d *e *e"t &p a "arro* stair#ase to a bedroo . There the ser1a"t. 4;e do"(t $et roo s. b&t this is it. fi1e shi$$i"%s 2 *i$$ yo& p$ease pay first. Sir/4 2 I %a1e it her. the $i3&or *as bro&%ht &p. b&t Sarah *o&$d"(t stop *he" she sa* the bed. 2 4I sha"(t the" 2 yo&r a%oi"( o" too far 2 yer do"(t k"o* *hat yer doi"%.4 2 +o*" stairs she *e"t. a"d I *as a$o"e *ith the p$& p o"e. 2 4I($$ take her so e %i".4 said she.
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MY SECRET LIFE

a"d po&ri"% o&t ha$f a t& b$er. do*" she *e"t ret&r"i"% a$o"e. Sarah *o&$d"(t #o e. 4;e(d best perhaps %o do*" a%i".4 said >o$$y tho&%ht6f&$$y. )fter see i"%$y a i"&te(s ref$e!io". a%ai" she said. 4>erhaps I(d better %o.4 2 4'o"se"se. *hat did yo& #o e &p here for/4 2 sayi"% that I $o#ked the door. #$osed o" >o$$y. p&shed her a%ai"st the bed. a"d assa&$ted her pri1ates. She(d so e%%ed e o" to ba&dy #haff a"d s &tty s&%%estio"s. that I(d fe$t s&re of ha1i"% her. b&t as y ha"d to&#hed her thi%hs she resisted. p&shed do*" her #$othes. p&shed e a*ay sto&t$y. $a&%hi"% as if ha$f p$eased tho ref&si"%. a"d s3&a$$i"% $o&d$y. 2 4Yo& sha"(t 2 do"(t "o* 2 a 0oke(s a 0oke 2 I *o"(t 2 I( arried.4 2 4Yo&(re "ot 2 *here(s yo&r ri"%/4 2 4>a*"ed.4 2 4I *i$$ f&#k yo&. 4Yo& sha"(t4 a"d she s#&ff$ed as &#h as 1irt&o&s ser1a"ts ha1e do"e *ho I(1e assai$ed si i$ar$y. I *as so a""oyed at y hi"dra"#e. fe$t so spitef&$. that $ea1i"% off I a"%ri$y said. 4Yo&(re "ot arried. yo&r $i"e"(s dirty. that(s *hy yo& *o"(t $et e.4 I did"(t ea" it. b&t sa1a%e$y *a"ted to offe"d her. to say so ethi"% to a""oy. a"d that #a e i pro pt&. I said &#h of the sa e sort. b&t a$$ i" the sa e strai". 4+irty/ Me dirty/ C$ea"er tha" yo&. I($$ s*ear. +irty9 I(d *ash y shift to ra%s rather tha" be dirty. 2 Yo& ha1e #heek. 2 Sho* e yo&r shirt 2 $ook.4 2 Sayi"% that she t&r"ed &p her petti#oats to her %arters. a"d I sa* the sto#ki"%s a"d a$$ she had o" *as as *hite as #o&$d be. tho her a"k$e 0a#kboots *ere &ddy. 2 4Yo&r #&"t(s dirty the".4 2 4Yo& $ie. it ai"(t.4 4Let(s p&t this &p it.4 2 p&$$i"% o&t y pri#k. 2 4Sha"(t.4 2 7&t she $ooked at y #&"t prodder *hi#h *as i" sp$e"did for#e. She *as $e*ed before. "o* $e*eder sti$$ a"d she $a&%hed. I #$osed o" her a%ai". %ot y fi"%ers o" the soft s$it *ith b&t trif$i"% hi"dra"#e. a"d fri%%ed a*ay at it. 2 4'o* do"(t 2 oh do"(t.4 Vo$&pt&o&s se"satio"s *ere #o"3&eri"% for e. 2 ;hat *o a" #a" ref&se a pri#k *he" the a"(s fi"%ers ha1e bee" i" f&$$ possessio" of her #&"t a i"&te/ 4Fee$ y pri#k.4 2 She s$id her ha"d do*" to it after t*i#e sayi"%. 4Sha"(t4 a"d i" a"other i"&te it *as &p her #&"t. as she $ay at the bedside o" to *hi#h I p&shed a"d $ifted her. C&iet. absorbed i" #ar"a$ p$eas&re. the de$i#io&s #risis #a e o". a"d disso$1ed &s. spe"di"% i"to i obi$ity a"d si$e"#e. C&iet$y she $ay as ho$di"% &p her thi%hs. "est$i"% y pe%o i"to her. *e $ooked i"to ea#h other(s eyes i" si$e"#e. e"0oyi"% the #ar"a$ 0&"#tio". F&#ki"% is i" its esse"tia$ a$*ays the sa e. the idea$ities are e1erythi"%. therei" $ays the #har of 1ariety. I fe$t si"%&$ar de6$i%ht i" f&#ki"% this #o o" *o a" *ho I(d o"$y see" ha$f a" ho&r. 2 It takes $o"%er to te$$ tha" to a#t. 2 ;ho i%ht be arried or si"%$e. or of a"y o##&patio". a"d *hose #&"t I(d "ot e1e" see". Re$i"3&ishi"% o"e thi%h I p&shed her petti#oats &p. a"d $ooki"% do*" sa* a dark f&$$y haired otte. the hair i"%$i"% *ith i"e. a"d p&t a fi"%er o" to the #$itoris 2 4Is"(t f&#ki"% $o1e$y/4 2 4Is"(t it/4 rep$ied she. Cat#hi"% ho$d of her thi%h a%ai". I s3&ee-ed y be$$y *e$$ a%ai"st hers. fee$i"% y pe%o to be d*i"d$i"%. 4,as yo&r frie"d bee" f&#ked/4 4+&""o. b&t she has
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%ot a $o1er.4 2 4;here(s yo&r h&sba"d/4 2 4:od k"o*s. o" the tra p I s&ppose.4 2 4Yo& are arried.4 2 She "odded. 4;ho f&#ks yo& "o*/4 2 4'o o"e.4 2 4;hat a story.4 2 She $a&%hed. a"d it s3&ee-ed y #o#k o&t of her. The" *e *ashed i" the sa e basi". there *as "o to*e$. so shirt a"d #he ise did d&ty. )fter*ards 2 4Sho* e yo&r #&"t.4 2 4)$$ ri%ht. I( #$ea". 2 $ook.4 2 p&$$i"% her #$othes &p to her otte. she $et e see. sayi"% ho* #$ea" her $i"e" *as. I sa* a #&"t fat $ipped. a"d f&$$ f$ed%ed. 4'o. I ai"(t had a #hi$d.4 said she. "oti#i"% y i"1esti%ati"%s. 2 )"other $et#h #a e o". 4I(d %i1e yo& te" shi$$i"%s to see yo&r frie"d(s #&"t. a"d she te" to sho* it.4 2 She see ed s&rpri-ed. 2 4;i$$ yo&/ +o"(t thi"k she *i$$.4 2 4Try to %et her &pstairs.4 2 4I *i$$. b&t she(s a st&pid. do"(t say yo&(1e do"e it to e.4 2 Sayi"% that. she p&t o" her bo""et a"d *e"t do*"stairs. The t*o had as said 4had a drop4 before I(d et the . They(d had %i" si"#e. Sarah had had a t& b$er ore tha" ha$f f&$$ to dri"k *hi$st do*" stairs. Ope"i"% the door I heard &#h $a&%hi"%. a"d Sarah appeared. p&shed &p stairs by >o$$y i"to the roo . 'o soo"er there tha" I to$d her I *a"ted to see her $itt$e 3&i a"d *o&$d %i1e her te" shi$$i"%s 2 I(d %ot their "a es pat. 4>o$$y says the" she($$ sho* e hers.4 Tho s$i%ht$y s#re*ed she ref&sed a"d there *as &#h ta$k. 2 4;e ai"(t *hores.4 said she. 2 >o$$y p&$$ed her petti#oats &p to her %arters. a"d the" she p&$$ed o&t y pri#k. a%ai" fair$y stiff. 2 7oth $a&%hed at it. 2 >o$$y said. 4It(s %etti"% $ate 2 *i$$ yer or *o"(t yer / 2 I($$ sho* hi i"e if yo&($$ sho* hi yo&rs.4 2 4S&p6pose @a#k hears o" it.4 2 4@a#k be b$o*ed. ho* #a" he k"o* &"$ess yo& te$$s hi .4 2 I p&t o" the tab$e the t*o ha$f so1erei%"s a"d they eyed the . 2 4;i$$ yo& "o*/ If "ot *e($$ %o.4 2 4It(s a%oi"( too far.4 said Sarah 2 I p&t the o"ey i" y po#ket. 2 4Yo& sho* hi first.4 2 4There. the".4 said >o$$y. p&tti"% her b& o" the bed a"d e!posi"% her #har s. 2 The other #h&#k$ed. 2 4,e. ,e. ,e. $ook at yo&.4 2 4Yo& ha1e see" it before. #o e o". sho* it hi .4 2 She *e"t to Sarah a"d p&shed her &p #h&#k$i"%. 4,e. ,e. ,e4 b&t she *as yie$di"%. a"d "e!t i"&te *as $ayi"% o" the bed. petti#oats &p to her "a1e$. $e%s ha"%i"% do*". her #ra#k 0&st 1isib$e. *hi$st >o$$y i" a si i$ar positio" b&t *ith thi%hs *e$$ apart. $ay $a&%hi"% by her side. I i"1esti%ated the #&"ts of both. b&t the yo&"% o"e did"(t $ike that. 2 4Yo&(1e bee" f&#ked.4 said I. 24I ai"(t.4 2 4She has.4 said >o$$y. 2 4I ai"(t bee".4 2 4I($$ f&#k yo& the".4 2 4'o. yo& sha"(t.4 2 She ro&sed herse$f a"d ha$f %ot off the bed. I pro ised "ot to at6te pt it a"d %ot her to $ay do*" a%ai" *ith #&"t sho*i"%. 4I($$ f&#k yo& the".4 2 4)$$ ri%ht.4 said >o$$y. 'e!t se#o"d y ba$$s *ere ba"%i"% a%ai"st her b&tto#ks. 2 4Oh9 If @a#k e1er heard.4 %i%%$ed the s$i o"e. 2 4@a#k be b&%%ered.4 said >o$$y. hea1i"% her r& p respo"si1e$y to y thr&sts. Si$e"t *ere a$$ three "o* as I f&#ked. fee$i"% Sarah(s thi" thi%hs a"d 3&i . 2 4)ha 2 f&#k 2 #&"t.4 I #ried. 2 4)hrr 2 )hrr.4 sobbed >o$$y. 2
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4Oho. yo& h&rt.4 #ried o&t the s$i o"e. I" the paro!ys s of p$eas&re I(d h&rt her #&"t *ith y fi"%ers. 4;e(d better %et ho e or there($$ be a 0o$$y ki#k &p.4 said the s$i o"e *hi$st sti$$ y pri#k *as i" the other(s 3&i . 2 I *as i" a h&rry a$so. &"#&"ted. a"d i" fi1e i"&tes *as o&t of the ho&se. after %i1i"% the t*o ha$f so1erei%"s. 2 They *ere "ot sisters they said. *hi#h *as a$$ I #o&$d $ear". e!#epti"% that they(d #arried so ethi"% ho e bet*ee" the tied &p *ith the rope. a"d had had a drop *ith the o"ey they(d %ot. I thi"k they *ere $a&"dresses. I e"0oyed this #ha"#e a o&r i e"se$y. it *as so differe"t fro the b&si"ess6 $ike f&#ki"% *ith a har6$ot. pri#e a%reed beforeha"d. 7&t ho* stra"%e9 )s *e et as stra"%ers i" the street. *ho #o&$d ha1e i a%i"ed that they(d sho* e their #&"ts. a"d that o"e *o&$d be f&#ked t*i#e *ithi" a" ho&r. These i pro pt& a o&rs are de$i#io&s. ) $o"% ti e had passed si"#e *e sa* the a" bir#hed. a"d ,. a"d I *ished to see a"other. The abbess said she(d try to arra"%e it. b&t so e of her e" stro"%$y ob0e#ted to be ade a sho* of. tho o"e or t*o $iked it. She did"(t k"o* *he" the e!posa"ts *o&$d #o e. or *he" *e sho&$d be there. a$$ *as a ere #ha"#e. yet it *as o"$y o" o&r bei"% a$$ there at the sa e ti e that it #o&$d #o e off. Three or fo&r o"ths ra" a*ay before it did. There o"e day. said the abbess. 4If yo&(d $ike to see a bir#hi"% to day. there *i$$ be a %e"t$e a" *ho $ikes to be $ooked at. b&t *he" I te$$ yo&. yo& &st ho$d &p yo&r #he ise a"d she* hi yo&r t*atts. he($$ see it. tho yo& ay thi"k he *o"(t. do"(t speak a *ord a"d $ea1e dire#t$y he spe"ds.4 ,. *o&$d"(t ask herse$f a"d *e"t do*" *ith a $o1e$y $a#ed #he ise o"$y o". 2 I *ith a shirt o" o"$y b&t asked. Layi"% a$o"% a sofa. *as a fair haired. bearded a" *ho I 0&d%ed bet*ee" thirty fi1e a"d forty. *ith his fa#e hidde" by both ha"ds. ,e *as $ayi"% abo&t three 3&arters o" his be$$y. so that *e #o&$d see his pri#k 2 *hi#h *as "ot stiff 2 a"d ba$$s. ,is shirt *as t&#ked &p to abo1e his *aist. his tro*sers p&$$ed do*" to his k"ees. a"d the *ho$e of his ba#kside a"d thi%hs *ere bare. ;e stood by his side a"d the abbess be%a". 2 S*ish. She ta$ked so e "o"se"se to hi . abo&t her bei"% the %o1er"ess a"d #orre#ti"% hi . to *hi#h he ade "o rep$y. The s*ishi"% *e"t o" s$o*$y at abo&t a stroke a i"&te. %rad&a$$y his pri#k e$o"%ated a"d the %$a"d e!tr&ded itse$f #o p$ete$y. as his ba#kside %re* redder a"d redder. The" she str&#k ore 3&i#k$y. 2 4Ohoo.4 2 he &r &ri"%$y *hispered 2 4,o 2ho 2 I #a"(t.4 2 S*ish. 2 S*ish. 2 ,is ba#kside be%a" to os#i$$ate. his pri#k r&bbed bet*ee" his be$$y a"d the soft *hite sheet *hi#h #o1ered the sofa. The" as arra"%ed. ,.. *ho stood "earer his head tha" I did $ifted her #he ise &p to her "a1e$. sho*i"% her $o1e$y thi%hs a"d #hest"&t #o1ered otte. she $iked she*i"% it. I sa* his fi"%ers ope" so that he #o&$d $ook thro the at her. yet I #o&$d"(t see a bit of his fa#e. he &r &red so ethi"% as if i" p$eas&re. 0o%%ed his be$$y as if f&#ki"%. a"d his pri#k *hi#h I #o&$d see *e$$ "o*. shot o&t a $ot of sper o" to the sheet. The" he #eased a"d $aid 3&iet. she dropped her
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#he ise #o1eri"% her #har s. a"d *e both $eft. I paid for the si%ht. a"d dare say that the 1i#ti paid for the si%ht of ,.(s "&dity. Miss R.. the fat r& ped. had $o"% #eased to be see". a"d Miss 7. at ti es #o&$d "ot be had tho both of &s $iked her. for she *as a de o" at i"etti"%. a"d *ith diffi#&$ty #o&$d be %ot a*ay fro ,.(s 3&i *he" o"#e her o&th *as o" it. She had a$so as said a $o1e$y #&"t i" si-e. shape. #o$or. a"d %ro*th of fri"%e. So f&#ki"% her fro behi"d *hi$st she %a ah&#hed ,. %a1e i"fi"ite p$eas&re to &s a$$. The abbess $iked to i"trod&#e others a"d "o do&bt %ot paid for it. O"e day a Miss +HHsy *as "a ed. 664Speaks three $a"%&a%es. has bee" kept. "ot $o"% bee" %ay. a"d "o* o"$y o" the 3&iet. 3&ite &p to f&".4 2 So *e had Miss +. a ta$$ish. 3&ite fair haired *o a" of say ei%ht a"d t*e"ty. a %e"tee$ *o a" *ho spoke Fre"#h a"d :er a" as I fo&"d. a"d *ho rea$$y k"e* &#h abo&t E&rope. She $ike a$$ the others took a $et#h for ,. 2 they a$$ do 2 a"d of #o&rse I f&#ked her *hi$st i"etti"% ,. 2 the &s&a$ for &$a. 7&t so eho* her #&"t did"(t fit e at a$$. a"d I #ared "ot abo&t f&#ki"% her. Yet *e had her se1era$ ti es. she *as so #o"1ersab$e. a"d ta$ked eroti# phi$osophy i" #haste $a"%&a%e i" the *ay poor Ca i$$e &sed. a"d for so e reaso" or other 2 *ho #a" %i1e reaso"s for $et#hes tho *e try/ 2 the t*o *o e" &sed to e!a i"e 1ery #&rio&s$y ea#h other(s #&"ts 2 a thi"% *hi#h &s&a$$y ,. did "ot #are abo&t doi"%. tho she(d fri% a"y #&"t "ear her *he" I *as f&#ki"% her. Miss +.(s #&"ta$ fri"%e *as si$ky b&t "ot 1ery #&r$y. a"d at ha$f *ay do*" the sides of the $ips the #&r$s $o"%. It #o"ti"&ed so "ear$y ro&"d the di1isio" bet*ee" pri#k ho$e a"d b& ho$e. a"d *he" she s3&atted to pidd$e 2 of #o&rse I ade her do that. her #&"t $ooked 2 as i"deed it did *he" she stood &pri%ht or $ay o" the bed *ith thi%hs apart. 2 "ot &"$ike the e"d of a broo . I to$d her of this. sayi"% it *as &%$y. 2 ,. a%reed *ith e. Miss +. said she did"(t $ike it a"d $ooked #aref&$$y at ,.(s o"e day 2 *hose $ips as they die a*ay to*ards her b& ho$e are s$i%ht$y #o1ered by the shortest hairs *ith a #har i"% te"de"#y to #&r$ 2 I said that if +(s *ere #$ipped short they *o&$d $ook "i#er to e 2tho perhaps "ot to others. for tastes 1ary. 2 It e"ded i" y artisti#a$$y tri i"% Miss +HHsy(s stra%%$i"% #&"ta$ fri"%e *ith the s#issors. 2 'e!t ti e see" she *as de6$i%hted. for the short hairs had a#t&a$$y #&r$ed partia$$y. she e!a i"ed the *ith a ha"d %$ass before &s. a"d *e *itho&t the %$ass. The bea&ty of her #&"t *as rea$$y e"ha"#ed by y to"soria$ ski$$. a"d parti#&$ar$y *he" she k"e$t o" the bed a"d *e 1ie*ed her 3&i fro behi"d. Yet as her #&"t after se1era$ tria$s did"(t fit e. *e dis#o"ti"&ed seei"% her. She *as soo" after a%ai" kept by a %e"t$e a". the abbess said. 2 She *as a #o"1ersab$e *o a". a"d "o do&bt her #&"t had fo&"d a s&itab$e part"er. 2 So e #&"ts "e1er see to fit e 2 others are de$i#io&s. ) #o&p$e of years "ear$y had passed si"#e the eroti# 3&artette. ;e ofte" ta$ked abo&t it a"d ,. *ished *e #o&$d p$ay the sa e %a es a%ai". b&t I had "o s&#h
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i"te"tio" "or #o&$d afford it. I sa* ho*e1er fro the to"e o&r #o"1ersatio" took. that she *a"ted to ha1e a"6other a". 4Sho&$d"(t yo& $ike to see e f&#ked/ I sho&$d $ike to fee$ yo&r pri#k *hi$st he f&#ked e.4 a"d so o". ;e ta$ked so before the abbess o"e day. *ho said 4a"d I k"o* o"e *ho is dyi"% to ha1e her.4 The" it tra"spired that a fre3&e"ter of the ho&se had see" ,HHH *he" %oi"% a*ay o"e day. a"d had fa$$e" 1io$e"t$y i" $o1e *ith her. 4,as he a bi% pri#k/4 asked ,. ea%er$y. The abbess said he had. that he *as a %e"t$e a". a barrister. b&t poor. ;e ta$ked o1er this a"d a%reed to ha1e hi . ,e *as spoke" to. a"d it *as &$ti ate$y arra"%ed that *e sho&$d a$$ be asked. a"d that he *as to f&#k ,. *hi$st I *as prese"t. The bi% pri#k. the pri#k she(d "e1er see". ade ,. ready for a"ythi"%. a"d she did"(t dis%&ise the p$eas&re that the "o1e$ty *o&$d %i1e her. This took so e ti e to bri"% abo&t. they "e1er k"o*i"% $o"% before ha"d. *he" habit&es ay arri1e. O"e after"oo" the abbess said as *e e"tered. 4,e(s #o i"%. I(1e 0&st %ot a $etter a"d ha1e se"t for a $ady for hi . he($$ #o"se"t to asks. or a"ythi"% e$se to ha1e yo&r frie"d.4 ;e *ere a $itt$e start$ed at first. ,. said she #o&$d"(t ti$$ she(d see" *hat sort of a" he *as. She *as"(t %oi"% to $et a"y &%$y. o$d. #o o" a" ha1e her. ;he" he arri1ed she *e"t do*" to be i"trod&#ed hi . a"d #a e ba#k appro1i"%. he *as a fi"e ta$$ ha"dso e a" of thirty a"d *a"ted to f&#k her there a"d the". ,er eyes %$iste"ed *ith $&st. she had the e!3&isite$y. 1o$&pt&o&s $ook i" her fa#e *hi#h she has *he" ra"dy. I $ayed do*" the #o"ditio"s. ,e *as to be "aked a$$ b&t his shirt. I to see his pri#k. a"d fee$ it if I $iked. 2 4'o.4 said the abbess. 4he *o"(t a$$o* that.4 2 4The" he sha"(t ha1e her.4 2 +o*" the abbess *e"t a"d ret&r"i"% said that I i%ht fee$ hi if I $iked. 2 4Let hi #o e.4 2 said I i patie"t$y. Up he #a e *ith ask o" a"d soo" di1ested hi se$f of his #$othes. ,. *itho&t ask sat o" his k"ee a"d p&$$ed abo&t a %ra"d. stiff too$. tri& pha"t$y. *hi$st he fi"%ered her 3&i . ,e *as *e$$ ade b&t rather hairy o" his $e%s *hi#h I did"(t $ike 2 a"y e" are hairy $e%%ed. The" she p$ayed o"e or t*o ba&dy tri#ks. a"d $ast$y t&r"ed her b& to hi *hi$st he sat o" a #hair a"d %ot his pri#k &p her. I sitti"% o" a $o* #hair opposite sa* it hidde" i" her #&"t. his ba$$s ha"%i"% o&tside. his ha"ds ro&"d her be$$y. o"e fi"%er r&bbi"% her #$itoris. 2 4)ha. %o to the bed.4 &r &red he. ,e did"(t at6te pt to dis%&ise his 1oi#e as I did. To the bed they *e"t *here side by side she fo"d$ed his $o1e staff. the" he o&"ted her. 2 4Yo& sha"(t f&#k e *ith that o".4 said she. a"d s&dde"$y p&$$ed off his ask a"d dropped it o" the f$oor. ,e #ared abo&t "othi"% "o* b&t possessi"% her. p&t his pri#k i" her #&"t rapid$y. *hi$st she raised the thi%h "earest the bedside hi%h &p. so that I *ho approa#hed the bed #o&$d see his pri#k ra i"% bet*ee" her #&"t $ips 2 see the i" a"d o&t o1e e"t. a" e!#iti"% si%ht. ,e(d %i1e" so e rapid strokes *he" I thre* &p his shirt to his *aist. to see the *a% of his b&tto#ks *hi#h *ere *hite b&t "othi"% re arkab$y ha"dso e.
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VOLUME 11

a"d I did"(t ad ire a #e"tra$ f&rro* stro"%$y haired &p to his ba#kbo"e. b&t the #o e a"d %o of his priapea" shaft p$eased e. ,e %a1e a si%h of p$eas&re a"d the" I $aid ho$d of his testi#$es. 2 4,o.4 said he *ith a $o&d #ry. a"d *ith a 1io$e"t start &"#&"ted. 4+o"(t do that.4 2 4;hat is it/4 said ,.. #easi"% her b& *a%%i"%. 2 I to$d. 2 4F&#k e. p&t it i". $et hi fee$ the . yo& *i$$ $ike it.4 7efore she(d said it a$$. his %$o*i"% tipped a#hi"e *as a%ai" hidde". his ba$$s *a%%ed ore tha" e1er. soo" the 1io$e"t o1e e"t of her thi%hs a"d b&tto#ks hera$ded her #o i"% 0oy. a"d I heard. 4F&#k dear 2 aha 2 sp&"k.4 a"d heard his &r &rs of $o1e. ,is a p$e ba$$s *ere "o* soo" steady o1er her b& 6ho$e. a"d both *ere 3&iet. She *ith #$osed eyes e"0oyi"% the b$issf&$ oo-i"%s of her #&"t. the soothi"% i"f$&e"#e of sper ati# i"0e#tio". his b&tto#ks o1i"% *ith the s$i%htest %e"t$est 0o%s. r&bbi"% his te"der %$a"d *ithi" the i""er ost re#esses of her se!&a$ treas&re. *hi$st I he$d his ba$$s. he see i"%$y &"#o"s#io&s of it. 4:et off.4 said she. ;itho&t a *ord off he %ot. here she $ay *ith o1erf$o*i"% #&"t. thi%hs *ide apart. $ooki"% $e*ed$y at e *ho had *ithdra*" the" to the bed(s foot. ,o$di"% his too$ as he %ot off of her. he pi#ked &p the ask. p&t it o". a"d *e"t to the *ashi"% sta"d. ,. $ay *ith thi%hs apart a"d poi"ti"% to her #&"t. I had had "o i"te"tio" of ha1i"% her so. had said so. b&t the si%ht o1er*he$ ed e. :oi"% to her. she o1ed herse$f to the bedside si$e"t$y. k"o*i"% the de6sires she(d e1oked better tha" I. fi$$ed *ith $&!&rio&s desires herse$f. 'e!t se#o"d y pe%o *as e"%&$phed i" her $&bri#io&s a1e"&e. I ra ed $ike a stea e"%i"e. her eyes %$ared at e *ith $&st. a"d both spe"t a$ ost dire#t$y. *hi$st sti$$ he *as soapi"% a"d s$oppi"% his pri1ates. "e1er $ooki"% ro&"d ti$$ she(d %ot off the bed a"d I stood $ooki"% o&t of the *i"do*. I &st ha1e spe"t i" a i"&te. "e1er had I spe"t ore rapid$y *ro&%ht &p by *hat I had see". The" I sat do*" *hi$st he *as p&$$i"% o" his tro*sers. ,e said "ot a *ord a"d *o&$d I thi"k ha1e $eft. b&t ,.. 2 4;hat do yo& p&t yo&r thi"%s o" for. ai"(t yo& %oi"% to ha1e e a%ai"/4 4Oh yes. if yo& *i$$.4 2 4Take yo&r tro*sers off the" a"d %i1e e a bott$e of #ha pa%"e.4 ,e did 2 *e(d bee" a$ready dri"ki"% #ha pa%"e. )%ai" *e ta$ked a"d dra"k. She *ashed her #&"t. a%ai" sat o" his k"ee. p$ayed *ith his pe%o. "e1er #eased ha"d$i"% it. she*i"% it to e. 2 4Fee$ it. is"(t it a fi"e o"e/4 2 4'o 2 "o.4 said he sharp$y 2 4yo& said yo& *o&$d $et hi fee$ it.4 I fe$t odest$y the %rist$y e$asti# propa%ator a"d the" he fe$t i"e. They kissed a"d toyed. his fi"%ers o" her #&"t. ,e *hispered so ethi"%. 2 4,ad I f&#ked her i" his sper /4 2 she to$d e after*ards. 2 She(d a"s*ered. 4'o.4 2 So dri"ki"% a"d ta$ki"%. at i"ter1a$s she fee$i"% both o&r pri#ks at o"#e. ti e ra" a*ay a"d his pri#k %re* stiff. The" at her re3&est he took his #$othes i"to a"6other roo . re ai"i"% i" his shirt a"d so#ks. a"d a%ai" f&#ked ,.. *hi$st a%ai" I he$d his ba$$s. a"d the" he $eft. ;e after*ards e"0oyed ea#h others %e"ita$s. she had her fo&rth spe"d. a"d *ith y sp&"k i"%$ed *ith his i" her #&"t. *e s$ept for a fe* i"&tes.
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The abbess #a e i"to &s. ,e *as abo&t $ea1i"% a"d had bee" e!to$$i"% ,.(s #har s *ho *a"ti"% to see hi before he $eft. 3&itted the roo a"d *as %o"e so eti e. Ret&r"i"%. 4,e(s f&#ked yo& a%ai".4 2 I sa* it fro the $as#i1io&s #ir#$es ro&"d her eyes a"d fro her a""er. 4Yes.4 2 said she i" a ha$f sha ed *ay. 4a"d he "e1er ade e a #o p$i e"t.4 2 4+id yo& ask hi /4 2 4'o. b&t he i%ht ha1e do"e so. he(s had e three ti es.4 I. ha$f dis%&sted a"d a $itt$e s#re*ed. 2 4I( %$ad he did"(t. a s&rpri-ed yo& *ish to be treated as a *hore. 2 Yo& *a"ted a #ha"%e. a fresh pri#k. a bi% o"e 2 be #o"te"t.4 She *as 1ery a"%ry *ith e for sayi"% 4;hore4 a"d I *as *ith her for desiri"% o"ey. 2 The o$d $e1e" *as i" her sti$$. she *a"ted her p$eas&res b&t to be paid for the . 'o do&bt. the abbess %ot o"ey tho she said he(d o"$y paid for se"di"% for the other *o a" a"d his roo . ,. said she be$ie1ed he(d %i1e" the abbess fi1e po&"ds. a"d that he i%ht ha1e %i1e" her ha$f a do-e" pairs of %$o1es. ) o"th after*ards the abbess said he *as there a"d *a"ted ,. b&t I *o&$d"(t $et her. "or did she *ish to %o. a"d "e1er sa* hi after*ards. 4F&#k e.4 said ,. a 3&arter of a" ho&r after. 2 4I #a""ot.4 2 4Try.4 2 4I #a"(t.4 2 She *as i" f&$$ r&t. o"e of her $as#i1io&s fre"-ies *as o" her 2 her eyes *ere 1o$&pt&o&s. *ere *i$d$y $& i"o&s *ith se!&a$ passio" 2 b&t oh9 So bea&tif&$. 2 Layi"% ho$d of y pe%o she fri%%ed it b&t &se$ess$y. the" ta$ki"% a$$ the ti e abo&t his pri#k. e1er a"d a"o" thr&sti"% her to"%&e i"to y o&th. $as#i1io&s e"o&%h to stir a dead a". 2 she *as part$y s#re*ed *hi#h i"#reased her re#k$ess"ess. 2 4Li#k y #&"t the".4 2 4>iss the".4 2 4Let e piss i" yo&r o&th. I(1e do"e so.4 2 4I *o&$d"(t.4 2 4Li#k e the".4 2 I be%a". 2 4S&#k y pri#k. y dar$i"%. ti$$ its stiff. a"d the" I($$ f&#k yo&.4 2 Vo$&pt&o&s thri$$s ra" thro e as I tasted the sa$t of her #&"t. 4I #a"(t. I do"(t k"o* ho*. I "e1er ha1e. b&t I *i$$ kiss it.4 a"d she kissed it fro b& ho$e to tip. The" i" her ra%i"% $&st she yie$ded to y repeated *ishes. i"to that $o1e$y #herry $ipped o&th *e"t y pri#k. *hi$st *ith y "ose &p her 1a%i"a. I $i#ked her #$itoris as she k"e$t o1er e a"d #$asped her i1ory b&tto#ks. 2 It took effe#t 2 the %e"t$e r&b of her o&th. the s e$$ of her #&"t. 2 4There 2 it(s 2 stiff 2 f&#k e "o*.4 2 )%i$e as a o"key. she %ot fro off y o&th o" to her ba#k. a"d $ay *ith thi%hs *ide apart. she*i"% the #ri so" %ap. 2 She had her *ay. 2 I f&#ked her $o"%. $o"%. de$i#io&s$y. *hi$st t*i#e she spe"t to y o"e $ibatio".

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AD

VOLUME 11

Chapter VII Ter i"atio" of "arrati1e. Re arks thereo". +is0e#ta e bra. I" a #o&"try #h&r#h. The bo&-y se!to". ,is da&%hter Se$e"a. I" a pe*. I" the Re#tor(s robi"% roo . O" his #arpet. O" his tab$e. Three *i1es *ith f&$$ b$adders i" a dark street. Mi#t&rati"% #i1i$ities. :e"ita$ ha"d$i"%s. F&#ki"% a o"% the #arts. I" a :er a" #ity. ) ba$d #&"ted Cypria". The "arrati1e i" its #hro"o$o%i#a$ order of e1e"ts I fi"ish. Ma"y ore i"#ide"ts i%ht ha1e bee" to$d of 1aried de$i%hts. of *hi s a"d fa"#ies "or a$ a"d ab"or a$. yet tho the p$a#es. parti#ipa"ts a"d a#tresses *ere differe"t. the a atory a &se e"ts *ere si i$ar to others p$ayed e$se*here. a"d their repetitio" i" the "arrati1e *o&$d be tedio&s. I break *ith the past. y a atory #areer is o1er. y se#ret $ife fi"ished. My phi$osophy re ai"s the sa e. My deeds $ea1e e "o re%ret 2 *ith the e!#eptio" perhaps of a 1ery fe*. 2 ;o&$d that I *ere yo&"% e"o&%h to #o"ti"&e i" the sa e #o&rse 2 that a$$ i%ht happe" to e o1er a%ai". 2 7&t a%e forbids. d&ty for6bids. affe#tio" forbids 2 Eros adie&. ,ere abr&pt$y ter i"ates the "arrati1e. So e years after the *riter died the a"&s#ript #a e as a$ready to$d i"to the possessio" of hi *ho arra"%ed a"d ab6 bre1iated it. ) *o"derf&$ "arrati1e of so ethi"% $ike fifty years of se#ret $ife. I" e$i i"ati"% a"&s#ript fro ti e to ti e. i" order to abbre1iate. &#h *as destroyed. b&t so e episodes *ere $aid aside for f&rther se$e#tio". a"d so e *ith the 1ie* of %ro&pi"% the i" #hapters. ) fe* of those dis0e#ta e bra are added here b&t are "ot #hro"o$o%i#a$$y arra"%ed. that bei"% "o* i possib$e. They e1ide"t$y o##&rred ho*e1er *ithi" the $ast t*e"ty years of the history. O"e Sat&rday after"oo" taki"% a *a$k to a 1i$$a%e a i$e or t*o fro *here I *as stayi"%. I e"tered the #h&r#h to $ook at it. )s I did so the se!to" *as $ea1i"% a"d $o#ki"% the door. 2 4I &st %o Sir. a"d &st $o#k it. *e "e1er $ea1e the #h&r#h door ope" *itho&t so e o"e i" it. i" #ase do%s or tra ps #o e i". a"d there(s o"$y the %a$ there #$ea"i"% the robi"% roo . ;e par$eyed a*hi$e a"d I tipped hi . 4If yo& $ike I($$ $ea1e the key i"side. b&t yo& &st $o#k the door. a"d I($$ be ba#k i" ha$f a" ho&r.4 I a%reed. $o#ked it a"d stro$$ed abo&t. $ooki"% at the brasses a"d o"& e"ts *hi#h *ere fa o&s. a"d "ot thi"ki"% at a$$ abo&t the *o a" #$ea"i"% the robi"% roo . ;itho&t tho&%ht of *o a"ki"d a"d i" the day6ti e ofte". 1o$&pt&o&s thri$$s %o thro y pe%o. ad o"ishi"% e that it *as ade for so ethi"% besides pidd$i"%. ,a1i"% do"e so it is &s&a$$y 3&iet. b&t so eti es repeats it a"d %e"t$y s*e$$s. 2 The" y tho&%hts *a"der to*ards *o a"(s se!&a$ #har . a"d &p rises pe%o. fi$$i"% e *ith desire to $od%e it bet*ee" a pair of soft
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*hite fe a$e thi%hs. i" the *ar . red. $&bri#io&s #ha""e$ a$*ays fit to re#ei1e it. 2 'at&re has th&s arra"%ed the fe i"i"e or%a" that it "eeds "o preparatio". a"d is "e1er "i#er to the pri#k tha" *he" it has bee" so e ho&rs &"*ashed 2 fresh *ashed. astri"%e"t 3&i s "e1er p$eased e. Ser1a"ts( 3&i s take" o" the s&dde" are a$*ays $&bri#io&s a"d de$i#io&s *ith "at&ra$ 0&i#es. Looki"% at a "oti#ab$e o"& e"t a thri$$ passed to e a"other a"d soo" a"other 2 y pe%o s*e$$ed a"d s&#h 1o$&pt&o&s se"satio"s per1aded e. that I sat do*" thi"ki"% of #&"t. a"d thro y brai" eroti# re i"is#e"#es a"d idea$ities f$ashed. 2 My pri#k %re* ri%id. I fe$t it. the" took it o&t a"d $ooked at it. a$ ost fri%%ed it. 0&st as I &sed *he" a yo&"% a". I *as so fit for the 0oyo&s i"ter#o&rse *ith a *o a". that I tho&%ht "o ore of o"& e"ts. 2 S&dde"$y I heard a s#r&bbi"% or br&shi"%. a"d re#o$$e#ted that a *o a" *as #$ea"i"% the parso"(s robi"% roo . ;he" i" that ra"dy state. to be "ear a$ ost a"y *o a" is p$eas&rab$e. ;ith a$$ their fa&$ts. a"d spite of the tro&b$es they bri"% to e". they are the 0oy of a tr&e a"(s $ife. I p&t ba#k i"to y tro*sers y pri#k *hi#h I had take" o&t to $ook at d&ri"% y 1o$&pt&o&s editatio"s. approa#hed the roo . p&shed the a$ready ha$f ope"ed door. a"d sa* a strappi"% *e"#h o" her k"ees br&shi"% the #arpet. ,er $ar%e ar s *ere "aked to abo1e the e$bo*s. her bi% b& st&#k o&t to*ards e. a"d fro be"eath her a p$e petti#oats o"e $e% *as 1isib$e ha$f *ay &p to her k"ee. a"d *as #ased i" a "i#e *hite sto#ki"%. My #o#k throbbed. desire to f&#k her fi$$ed e. a"d I ade a s$i%ht "oise. 4Yo&(1e #o e ba#k 1ery 3&i#k. yer ai"(t bee" there.4 a"d t&r"i"% her head. 2 4Oh9 I be% yo&r pardo" Sir. I tho&%ht yo& *as hi . ho* did yo& %et i"/4 She see ed asto"ished. She %ot &p sayi"% that. a"d a stro"%$y b&i$t. bo$d. ha"dso e fa#ed *e"#h of abo&t t*e"ty she *as. I to$d her ho* I had %ot i". 2 4Mother a$$&s does the #$ea"i"% b&t she(s i$$. so I(1e #o e.4 said she %rat&ito&s$y. for I(d "ot asked her 2 a"d as if asha ed of bei"% #a&%ht at the *ork. 2 4Yo&(re a %ood da&%hter a"d a ha"dso e o"e.4 said I s i$i"%. 2 4The re#tor *i$$ %i1e yo& a kiss for doi"% it.4 I *as %$ad to say a"ythi"%. 2 4'ot he.4 said she bo$d$y a"d $a&%hi"%. for y re ark had p&t her at her ease. The" *e stood a"d $ooked at ea#h other. 2 4Yo&(re 1ery ha"dso e. are yo& arried/4 2 She shook her head. 2 4Sho* e the o"& e"t of H H H H4 2 "a i"% a #o&"try a%"ate 2 4a"d I($$ %i1e yo& a shi$$i"%.4 2 4Tha"kee Sir.4 She o1ed off. I fo$$o*i"% her *ith pri#k $ike a ra rod. 2 She poi"ted o&t the o"& e"t to e. b&t I *as thi"ki"% o"$y of her #&"t a$$ the *hi$e. It *as a%ai"st the *a$$ at the e"d of a $o"%. $ar%e. o$d fashio"ed pe* *ith hi%h e"#$os&res. *hi#h *e both e"tered. I $ooked at it for a i"&te ref$e#ti"% *hat "e!t to do. she sta"di"% by e. The" I %a1e her a shi$$i"% a"d s"at#hed a kiss. 2 4Oh do"(t. he ay #o e i".4 2 4I(1e $o#ked the door.4 2 )"other kiss a"d I p&$$ed her do*" "ot &"*i$$i"% o" the seat besides e. 2 4I($$ %i1e yo& ha$f a
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#ro*" to fee$ the %arter o" that 0o$$y $e%.4 sayi"% *hi#h I ade a s"at#h at her #$othes. a"d %ot y ha"d *e$$ &p o" to her thi%h 0&st abo1e the %ar6ter. She str&%%$ed. %a1e o"e or t*o $o&d s3&ea$s. 2 4Oh do"(t 2 "o* yo& sha"(t 2 oh 2 if a"y o"e #o es 2 oh "o* do"(t. Ohoo. $ea1e e a$o"e Sir.4 She be%a" to $a&%h idst her str&%%$es. 2 4'o o"e #a" #o e i". the door(s $o#ked.4 2 4Yes. Sir. the Re#tor #a" #o e thro&%h the #h&r#hyard. a"d the robi"% roo door(s ope". 2 4Oh9 +o"(t "o*.4 My passio" *as a $itt$e #he#ked by that a"d I desisted. 4,ere(s the ha$f #ro*" as I(1e fe$t it. %i1e e a"other kiss.4 2 She took the ha$f #ro*" a"d s&b itted to the e bra#e. I he$d her #$ose to e a"d 0o%%ed y be$$y &p a%ai"st hers. 2 4I($$ %i1e yo& a so1erei%" to $et e do that.4 2 4Oh 2 %o a*ay 2 $et e %o.4 2 p&shi"% e. I $et her %o feari"% the Re#tor i%ht s&rpri-e &s. 4Let e see the robi"% roo .4 4It(s there.4 said she %oi"% ahead a"d poi"ti"%. 2 4'o* 2 do"(t. Sir.4 2 I tried to p&$$ her #$othes &p fro behi"d. s&##eeded as hi%h as her %arters. a"d sa* the ha"dso e #a$1es i" *hite sto#ki"%s. *hi#h ade y #o#k ore resti1e tha" e1er. 2 4'o*. I *o"(t sho* yo& Sir if yer does that a%ai".4 a"d she t*ir$ed ro&"d. I he$d o" to her petti#oats *hi#h ti%hte"ed ro&"d her $e%s as she sat do*" hea1i$y o" a free seat by the pe* door. The" she $a&%hed as if she #o&$d "ot he$p it. )%ai" I %a1e a kiss a"d a pro ise. a"d off *e *e"t to the roo *hi#h *as "ear the a$tar. I fe$t s&re she $iked y s &tty %a es. a"d at the door stopped. 2 4My dear te$$ e so ethi"%/4 2 4;hat Sir/4 2 4Is there &#h hair o" it/4 2 4Oh9 :o a$o"%.4 said she. a#t&a$$y #o$ori"% &p 2 b&t she $a&%hed. I" the roo I sa* a door $eadi"% o&t by a f$i%ht of steps i"to the #h&r#hyard. a"d a path $eadi"% I s&p6posed to the re#tory. The Re#tor &s&a$$y e"tered the #h&r#h that *ay she said. I $o#ked the door. she s i$ed as if she %&essed y %a e. 2 4:i1e e a"other kiss. yo& are so bea&tif&$.4 I"deed I tho&%ht so. for I *as &"der the fas#i"atio" of #&"t. 2 4'o.4 7&t I took it. 6 4Let &s/4 2 4Let &s *hat/4 said she $ooki"% f&$$ i" y eyes. 2 I"sti"#t 2 "e1er fai$i"% e. to$d that she *as i" #o"#&pis#e"t state. 2 4Let(s do it4 2 I did"(t dare to say poi"t b$a"k the a%i# *ords. 2 4+o *hat/4 *ith a 1o$&pt&o&s t*i"k$e i" her eyes. a"d a"!io&s to hear the ba&dy *ords of i"1itatio". ,o* her #&"t *as ti"%$i"%. for *o e" as e" $ike s &tty ta$k a"d ba&dy *ords 2 *hat sa"e h& a" #reat&re is there b&t fee$s p$eas&re i" heari"% the e!#iti"% triad. 2 >ri#k. #&"t. f&#k. that d&a$ity i" &"ity by *hi#h i" the de$iri& of physi#a$ a"d e"ta$ p$eas&re. the ra#e is perpet&ated. 4+o *hat/4 2 4Yo& k"o*. a"d yo& *o"(t te$$ yo&r s*eetheart.4 2 4I do"(t k"o* a"d I ha1e"(t %ot o"e.4 She t&r"ed a*ay s i$i"%. took &p a broo . a"d so eho* I *as afraid for the o e"t to press atters f&rther. tho s&re she *as ready. ,o* e!6p$ai" these e##e"tri#ities of i"e/ 2 I "e1er #o&$d. 4'o"se"se.4 said I. $ayi"% ho$d of her ar a"d praisi"% its p$& p"ess. 2 4I( ad for yo&.4 2 She $et e fee$ a"d r&b it %e"t$y &p a"d do*". 2 4I d&""o ho* he #a e to $et yo& i".4 said she sta"di"% 3&ite sti$$ a"d stari"%. 2 I sa* she *as *aiti"% for y ad1a"#es a"d tried to %et y ha"d &p her #$othes. 2 She resisted. str&%%$ed. s3&ea$ed. b&t y fi"%ers %ot *e$$ bet*ee" her thi%hs.
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a"d the" she es#aped. 2 I p&rs&ed her ro&"d the roo . #a&%ht a"d kissed her. 0o%%ed y be$$y a%ai"st hers. 2 4Let &s.4 2 4;hat/4 2 4F&#k 2 $ook.4 said I p&$$i"% o&t y #&"t p$&%%er. "e1er i" ha"dso er or ore i"1iti"% #o"ditio" to a *o a". 2 She $ooked hard at it. a"d #h&#k$ed. 2 4Oh for sha e.4 said she sti$$ eyei"% it 2 I do"(t re#o$$e#t #$ear$y *hat "e!t passed thro&%h y i"d. b&t fe$t s&re she *as $e*ed a"d had a$ready bee" f&#ked. tho "o* *as fear6 f&$. )%ai" I #a&%ht her. p&shed her b& a%ai"st the tab$e. %ot y fi"%ers o" to her #&"t. 2 4Oh 2 "o 2 pray do"(t 2 "ot here. 2 I($$ eet yo& to"i%ht.4 2 #ried she e!#ited$y. 4+o"(t be foo$ish 2 *e are a$o"e 2 "o o"e #a" %et i" 2 here are t*o so1erei%"s for yo&.4 a"d I p&t the o" the tab$e 2 y pri#k sti$$ sta"di"% o&t. 4I do"(t *a"t yo&r o"ey.4 2 Ma"y ha1e said that to e. tho they ost$y took it *he" they(d bee" tai$ed. 2 4'ot here. 2 'o 2 "o 2 I *i$$ to"i%ht 2 "o 2 oho4 2 My ha"d *as &p her petti#oats. she stooped p&shi"% the do*" b&t I persisted. %a1e her a stro"% p&sh. a"d she fe$$ o" the f$oor. I *ith her. for a i"&te *e str&%%$ed a"d I p&$$ed &p her #$othes. 4Oh9 If they #o e ba#k.4 2 The" i" a se#o"d y fi"%ers *ere *e$$ *ithi" the $ips of her oist *ar s$it. I #a&%ht at it as *e ro$$ed to%ether. 4Yo& &st"(t here.4 *ere her $ast *ords. as if she tho&%ht there *as i piety i" the a#t I #o"te p$ated. 7&t the str&%%$e *as o1er. both ea"t f&#ki"%. odesty a"d fears *ere #o"3&ered as I o&"ted her. #$&t#hed her so$id ha&"#hes a"d p$&"%ed y pri#k &p her a"d 1ery soo". too soo". si%hi"% o&r p$eas&re *e spe"t. ,er #&"t *as o1erf$o*i"% *ith y $ibatio" a"d her #o"trib&tio". *hi$st si$e"t a"d #o&p$ed *e $ay o" the T&rkey #arpet of the robi"% roo 2 a %$orio&s f&#k it *as. I $ay o" her i" b$issf&$ si$e"#e #$aspi"% the sides of her s ooth #oo$ b&tto#ks. 2 4I( a feared that he($$ #o e ba#k.4 &r &red she &"#&"ti"% e. 4,e #a"(t. the door is $o#ked.4 ;e %ot &p a"d her petti#oats fa$$i"% hid the #har s *hi#h I(d "e1er e1e" see" at a$$. 2 ;e ta$ked 3&iet$y. a"d she eyed the so1erei%"s. 2 F&#ki"% ope"s a *o a"(s o&th as *e$$ as her #&"t. The se!to"(s d&ty *as "ot to $ea1e the #h&r#h. b&t he ofte" did a"d $o#ked her other i" o" Sat&rdays. a"d *e"t a*ay to dri"k. 2 ,e *as a toper. The Re#tor "e1er #a e there o" Sat&rdays. it *as #$ea"i"% &p day. 4,e *rites his ser o"s the" 2 I( to$d.4 2 M&#h ore ta$k *as of the sa e sort i!ed *ith ba&dy s&%%estio"s. 2 4The" yo& $ike f&#ki"%. do"(t yo&/4 2 4Oh. "ot at a$$.4 said she s i$i"%. 2 4,&sh 2 he(s k"o#ki"% at the e"tra"#e.4 2 4It(s "othi"%. $et hi *ait. say yo& did"(t hear hi .4 Looki"% f&$$ i" ea#h other(s eyes a"d sitti"%. to&#hi"% ea#h other. I k"e* that the $ibatio" &st ha1e bee" *etti"% her thi%hs. a"d the idea of that be%a" to stiffe" e. I(d "e1er see" her #&"t. for as I p&$$ed &p her petti#oats I ro$$ed o" to her. 4Let(s $ook at it. a"d *e($$ f&#k a%ai".4 2 4Oh "o 2 he($$ be ba#k 2 te$$ e the ti e.4 2 I $ooked at y *at#h a"d to$d. 2 4Oh. he *o"(t be ba#k yet if he(s %o"e for a boo-e. b&t I #a"(t 2 I #a"(t *ash here.4 2 4There is *ater i" the
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pai$.4 2 4I sha"(t 2 I #a"(t 2 "o 2 I *o"(t.4 ) $o"% resista"#e ore ba&dy ta$k a"d the i"#ite e"t of a stiff pri#k a%ai". 4Oh 2 oh 2 "o*. if he #o es ba#k.4 2 ) str&%%$e. b&t I fi"%ered her %$&ey orifi#e. a"d i" a fe* i"&tes had her $ayi"% o" her ba#k o" the tab$e. f&#ki"% her. y ha"ds. ho$di"% &p her fat thi%hs. e1ery "o* a"d the" %$a"#i"% do*" at y too$ as it *orked &p a"d do*" i" her *e$$ haired sp$it. a"d so a%ai" *e #o"6s& ated. 2 4,e($$ s&re be ba#k soo" 2 oh 2 do %o 2 *hat *i$$ he thi"k of yo&r bei"% here so $o"%/4 2 I kissed her a"d departed thro&%h the Re#tor(s door to the #h&r#hyard. I %a1e her a parti"% kiss. 2 4Yo&r #&"t(s *et.4 4It(s "ot dry. %o a$o"%.4 said she $a&%hi"%. +e$i%hted *ith y after"oo"(s a &se e"t. I $i"%ered "ear the #h&r#h a"d *a$ked ro&"d the #h&r#hyard. *hi#h *as at that poi"t so e feet be$o* the $e1e$ of the Re#tor(s roo 5 "o o"e #o&$d ha1e $ooked at o&r tri#ks thro&%h the *i"do*s. I et the se!to" soo" after at the e"tra"#e por#h. he *as %ro%%y a"d ta$kati1e. The" he k"o#ked hard at the door *ith a sti#k. the" ra"% a be$$. I stopped. the *o a" ope"ed it. ,o* she ope"ed her eyes *he" she sa* e. I *i"ked at her o1er the se!to"(s sho&$ders. a"d $eft. 2 It *as the se!6to"(s da&%hter I heard $ater o". 2 She a$so *as a Mary she to$d e. ;hat a $ot of Marys I(1e tai$ed. 2 ,o* fi"e a"d fir a"d f&#kab$e are these #o&"try *e"#hes. *hat 0&i#y #&"ts. O"e dark Sat&rday "i%ht i" spri"% at abo&t te" o(#$o#k. *he" passi"% a$o"% a ai" etropo$ita" thro&%hfare. 2 three *o e" t&r"ed do*" a short street. i$$ $i%hted a"d *ith b$a"k *a$$s o" ea#h side. )t abo&t fifty feet fro the ai" road this street t&r"ed at ri%ht a"%$es. a"d for a $o"% dista"#e the" *e"t at the ba#ks of ho&ses i" the ai" thoro&%hfare. O" the other side *here there *as "o foot*ay *ere bi% *areho&ses *itho&t o##&pa"ts at "i%ht. a"d a%ai"st the *ere e pty #arts $eft there ti$$ the orro*. There *as $itt$e or "o traffi# i" the street. for there *as Ea"d isF "o %ai" i" %oi"% that *ay. This part of the street a$so *as sti$$ ore di $y $i%hted tha" the short bra"#h. str& pets ofte" pissed a"d f&#ked there free$y. Ma"y a #&"t I(d fe$t there i" ti es %o"e by. Others at ti es 2 "ot str& pets 2 *a"ti"% a pee *ee bad$y. fo&"d i" it a" o&t of the *ay 3&iet spot to do that sp$ashi"% b&si"ess. I sa* that the three *ere "ot %ay *o e". )s I passed. o"e *ith a #h&#k$e said. 4@&st ro&"d the #or"er.4 a"d they *e"t there 3&i#k$y $ooki"% ro&"d a"!io&s$y to see if they *ere "oti#ed. 2 They *ere respe#tab$y dressed $ike the *i1es of arti-a"s. a"d I be$ie1ed they *ere so fro their a""er. a"d that they(d bee" ha1i"% a Sat&rday "i%ht(s drop. as arti-a"s( *i1es at Sat&rday arketi"%s do5 a drop e"o&%h to ake the frisky. ra"dy. a"d ro$$i#kso e. yet "ot ti%ht. My ba$$s *ere f&$$ that "i%ht 2 s&dde" $et#hes depe"d &#h o" the f&$$"ess of that reser1oir 2 a"d y e"d&ri"% $et#h sei-ed e. I fo$$o*ed the . fee$i"% e#ha"i#a$$y i" y po#ket to as#ertai" if I(d e"o&%h to pay for y a &se e"t. if it #o&$d be had. a"d for%etti"% I(d a po#ket f&$$. for I had #ha"%ed %o$d p&rpose$y that day to %et si$1er. They stopped at a h&"dred feet or so fro the a"%$e. as I approa#hed "oti#ed e. a"d *e"t f&rther. So did I a"d #$ose &p to the . as i" a %ro&p they stopped a"d hesitated. 4;hat do yo&
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*a"t. yo&"% a"/4 I *as"(t yo&"% 2 said a ta$$ *o a" *ho I %&essed to be forty. 4To see yo& a$$ pidd$e.4 2 4,o. ho.4 they a$$ b&rst o&t to%ether as if asto"ished. yet a &sed "ot sho#ked. 4;e$$ I( s&re 2 the" yo& *o"(t.4 2 4I( %oi"% to pidd$e too.4 2 4,o. ho. 2 he. he.4 they b&rst o&t a%ai". a"d the" *ere 3&iet a"d *e"t *itho&t a *ord a fe* feet f&rther. They i" fa#t o1ed a"d 3&iet$y to a &#h darker spot. I *o"der they did"(t #ross to the dark *a$$ a"d e pty #arts. O"e *o a" the" b&rst o&t $o&d$y $a&%hi"%. the" the others did 2 3&ite a #hor&s. 4;e(re respe#tab$e *o e". %o a*ay "o*.4 said the ta$$ o"e. 2 I fe$t s&re they *ere so tho poor. a"d hesitated. 7&t I(d fe$t the #&"ts of their #$ass before. k"e* that o"ey te pts. that *o e" $ike eroti# tri#ks. so persisted. 2 Ma"y *ork6 e"(s *i1es ha1e bee" free a"d easy *ith their #&"ts before arria%e. *hi#h *eake"s their ora$s5 b&t it(s a istake to s&ppose 4o"#e a *hore a$*ays a *hore.4 There are ( a"y *hores arried a o"% the $o*er #$asses 2 a"d i"deed i" e1ery ra"k of $ife 2 *ho are #haste e"o&%h the". they for%et a"d es#he* past habits. a"d are #o"te"t *ith the pri#k of the bread *i""er. yet at ti es so e year" for a fresh bit of #o#k. a"d a ba&dy tri#k or t*o. I(1e a$*ays had the fa#&$ty of aki"% *o e" $e*ed. a"d fe$t s&re fro their hesitatio" that $&st *as #o i"% o" the three. 4>idd$e a"d $et e fee$ it. a"d I($$ %i1e yo& ha$f a #ro*" apie#e.4 said I. biddi"% hi%h for they *ere "ot str& pets. a"d #at#hi"% ho$d of o"e *o a"(s ar I he$d it. 4;e$$ 2 I( b$o*ed4 2 said she sta%%ered b&t "ot resisti"%. 2 4:et a*ay.4 said the ta$$ o"e a"%ri$y. 4or I($$ #a$$ a po$i#e a".4 2 4;hat for. to see yo& pidd$e or see hi pidd$e/4 2 )$$ $a&%hed. 4;e$$9 ;hat #heek.4 said o"e. 2 4I(1e fe$t do-e"s of *o e"(s #&"ts here *hi$st they pidd$ed.4 said I. bo$der "o* that they(d stood so &#h. 4:et a$o"% yo& b$a#k%&ard. do it if yo& *a"t. a"d %et a*ay a"d $et &s.4 2 They the" t&r"ed their ba#ks to e a"d ta$ked 3&ite #$ose to%ether i" a $o* to"e. $a&%hi"% 3&iet$y at i"ter1a$s. a"d I s&pposed they *ere ta$ki"% abo&t e. so said. 2 4Let(s a$$ pidd$e. a"d *e($$ a$$ %o a"d ha1e a %$ass of *i"e to%ether.4 2 4'ot I.4 2 said o"e. I #o&$d the" 0&st see i" the di $i%ht that o"e "&d%ed a"other. a"d a%ai" a$$ 3&iet$y $a&%hed. *hi#h e"#o&ra%ed e. 4,ere(s so eo"e #o i"%. I *ish yo&(d %o. *hat *i$$ they thi"k/4 2 said the ta$$ o"e "o* 1ery a"%ri$y. 7&t I stood sti$$. ) a" a"d *o a" s$o*$y approa#hed. they I thi"k had #o e *ith for"i#ati"% i"te"t. took "o "oti#e of &s a"d passed far a*ay. ;hether they f&#ked i" the obs#&rity a o"% the e pty #arts I k"o* "ot. for y i"d *as "o* i" a passio"ate fer e"t *ith y o*" desires *hi#h had i"te"sified *ith o&r ta$k. a"d *hat see ed to e a #ha"#e of their %ratifyi"% e. I $o"%ed to fee$ these three *o e"(s #&"ts for they *ere "ot *hores. a"d to see the pidd$e. The idea of doi"% so see ed de$i#io&s to e. a"d %etti"% re#k$ess tho&%ht I(d try e1e" %o$d. 2 'o"e of the e1ide"t$y *ere 3&ite yo&"%. yet yo&"% e"o&%h. b&t they *ere "ot str& pets 2 that see ed the spe#ia$ #har 2 I did"(t ref$e#t. had set y heart o" fee$i"% their pidd$e. *as #arried a*ay by y $et#h a"d *e"t o" i pet&o&s$y to satisfy it. Their "ot bei"% str& pets %a1e the #har .
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as if their #&"ts *ere differe"t fro those of *hores. ;ith a s&dde" i p&$se. fee$i"% y po#ket f&$$ of si$1er I said. 2 4I($$ %i1e yo& fi1e shi$$i"%s ea#h.4 2 4:et a*ay. a"d do"(t ta$k $ike that 2 *e(re %oi"%.4 said the ta$$ o"e. They *a$ked sti$$ f&rther. I #$ose to the a"d at the 1ery darkest spot they stopped. 2 4,ere(s fi1e shi$$i"%s.4 a"d I #hi"k$ed so e si$1er. 2 4:od 2 *hat 2 do yo& take &s for/4 2 4I #a"(t *ait4 2 said o"e s&dde"$y. a"d s3&atted. the others sta"di"% #$ose to her. I heard the sp$ash. stooped. thr&st y ha"d &"der her petti#oats o" to her ope" #&"t. a"d took the strea o" y ha"d. 2 4Oh do"(t 2 he 2 he 2 he 2 yo& b$a#k6%&ard. ,e 2 he 2 p&sh hi a*ay I a"e.4 2 she $a&%hed a"d b&$$ied at the sa e ti e. 4Mrs. H H H H H. oh94 said i" i"di%"a"t to"es the other t*o si &$ta"eo&s$y as if asto&"ded. the" b&rst o&t $a&%hi"%. The $ady pissed $o"% a"d hea1i$y. b&t a *o a" does"(t take $o"% to e pty her b$adder. She did"(t p&sh a*ay y ha"d fro her #&"t ti$$ she rose &p the". 2 4,e 2 he 2 he 2 yo& b$a#k%&ard. I hope yo&(re p$eased.4 4There(s the o"ey.4 2 She hesitated. took it. sayi"% a%ai" as if a &sed. 2 4Yo& b$a#k%&ard 2 he 2 he 2 he.4 2 a"d p&t it i"to her po#ket. The other t*o "o* $a&%hed. sayi"%. 2 4;e$$ 2 *e$$ 2 oho 2 oho 2 there he 2 he 2 he.4 2 )%ai" a a" a"d *o a" passed. a"d they stopped $a&%hi"%. The others *ere a%ai" $a&%hi"% after si$e"#e for a o e"t. they sa* the si$1er had bee" take". 2 4;here is yo&r fi1e shi$$i"%s/4 2 said the ta$$ o"e. 2 I %a1e it 2 4I ai"(t a%oi"% to do it 2 there.4 2 a"d as if she(d #heated e she $a&%hed. 2 4)$$ ri%ht I($$ *ait ti$$ yo& do.4 2 4+id yer he1er k"o* s&#h #heek/4 said she *ith e phasis. 2 4;e$$ the"4 2 a"d s&dde"$y do*" she s3&atted. C&i#k$y a%ai" I stooped. for a se#o"d %ot y ha"d o" a %ap *hi#h see ed as $ar%e as a #o*(s. *ith a strea r&""i"% as if fro a p& p. *he" sayi"%. 4+o"(t4 she %a1e e a p&sh a"d I ro$$ed i"to the %&t6ter. *hi#h fort&"ate$y *as dry. 7y the ti e I(d %ot &p her strea had #eased a"d she *as sta"di"% &p. 4Ser1es hi ri%ht.4 said the others $a&%hi"% hearti$y. 2 )$$. I fe$t "o* s&re. *ere e"0oyi"% the ba&dy %a e. 4Yo& do it a"d *e($$ a$$ be a$ike.4 said the ta$$ o"e to the other. 2 4I do"(t *a"t.4 2 4;hy yo& said yo& a *ere a b&rsti"%.4 2 4,ere(s the fi1e shi$$i"%s.4 said I. 2 4;i$$ yo& %o that *ay after*ards a"d $et &s %o this if I do/4 2 0erki"% her head i" the t*o dire#tio"s. 2 4Certai"$y.4 2 +o*" she s3&atted. pissed o1er y ha"d a"d fi"ished *ith a fart. 2 4Oh.4 said she risi"% as if &#h asha ed. 2 The other t*o $a&%hed $o&d$y. 2 4;e($$ ha1e a"other %$ass.4 2 4I &st %et ho e.4 said a"other. 2 4I(1e fe$t a$$ yo&r #&"ts.4 said I. 4I($$ piss "o* if I a "ot too stiff. a"d *i$$ %i1e yo& fi1e shi$$i"%s if yo&($$ a$$ fee$ y pri#k after.4 2 for I *as "o* *i$d$y $e*ed a"d be%a" e ptyi"% y b$adder. 2 They $ooked o". 4I *i$$.4 said the first o"e *ho(d pissed 2 4b&t %i1e it &s first.4 2 I %a1e it. she a"d the ta$$ o"e fe$t it. the" the other did. the" both fe$t it a%ai". 4;e$$ if e1er I had s&#h a $ark i" y $ife 2 *e$$.4 said o"e. 2 4Oho 2 hoh.4 2 for it %ot stiff i" her ha"d$i"%. 2 4,e 2 he 2 he.4 a$$ $a&%hed

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to%ether "o*. 4:ood "i%ht I hope yo&($$ a$$ be *e$$ f&#ked to6"i%ht.4 2 4,e 2 he 2 he 2 he 2 he.4 2 I heard dyi"% a*ay i" the dista"#e as they *e"t off. 7efore I %ot to the #or"er %oi"% s$o*$y i" the opposite dire#tio". I sa* far off a a" a"d a *o a" #ross the road to the dark side *here #arts *ere sta"di"%. S$a#ke"i"% y pa#e for a fe* se#o"ds. *he" opposite to the spot I sa* they *ere f&#ki"% hard. They took "o "oti#e of e as I stood *at#hi"%. The" I *e"t off to the ai" thoro&%hfare a"d *aited. %&essi"% that o"e *o&$d ret&r" that *ay. Soo" a %e"t$e a"$y dressed a" #a e ro&"d the #or"er 1ery h&rried$y. a"d *as o&t of si%ht i" a i"&te. 7a#k I t&r"ed a"d et the *o a". e1ide"t$y a de irep. 2 4+o yo& *a"t e y dear/4 2 4I(d $ike to fee$ yo&r #&"t. it(s 0&st bee" f&#ked. a"d I($$ %i1e a shi$$i"%.4 2 4)$$ ri%ht 2 oh. *ait. here #o es a po$i#e a".4 2 ;e ta$ked ti$$ he(d passed. a"d the" a o"% the #arts I fe$t her for a shi$$i"%. 2 I(1e fe$t s#ores at that pri#e. b&t had 0&st paid fi1e shi$$i"%s a fee$. )fter*ards %oi"% a$o"% H H H H St. fi$$ed *ith desire. b&r"i"% *ith $&st. thi"ki"% of *hat a $ot I had do"e i" t*e"ty i"&tes 2 I sa* a "i#e $ooki"% %ir$ a"d *e"t ho e *ith a"d f&#ked her. EThere are "o* do&b$e the "& ber of $a ps i" the street *here this pidd$i"% took p$a#e. e pty #arts "o $o"%er sta"d there. f&#ki"% a"d pidd$i"% is "o $o"%er so easy to a##o p$ish *itho&t hi"dra"#e. I *e"t re#e"t$y to see. for I $ike re1isiti"% the s#e"es of y a o&rs.F EThis is "ot the o"$y ti e I(1e fe$t i" the streets the #&"ts of *o e" "ot har$ots. O" si i$ar o##asio"s 2 tho "ot i" that street 2 t*i#e I( s&re I(1e fe$t t*o *o e" *he" to%ether. 2 I" o"e #ase o"e of the *o e" *as &#h yo&"%er tha" the other. i" both #ases they *ere respe#tab$e. a"d I thi"k arried *o e" of the h& b$er #$ass. O"e #o"se"ted first a"d the" i"d&#ed the other. ;o e" #a" be ade $e*ed by s&%%estio". That the o"ey. dri"k. a"d opport&"ity. did it i" a$$ #ases. a$$ *ere a $itt$e $e*ed. I thi"k the "arrati1e of these i"#ide"ts has bee" retai"ed b&t a "ot s&re.F The" o##&rred <a"d soo" after the Fra"#o6:er a" *ar= o"e of the ost si"%&$ar of y e!perie"#es. I *as at a %reat :er a" #ity stoppi"% there for the "i%ht o"$y. took a *a$k i" the e1e"i"% a"d tho&%ht I sho&$d $ike to see the ba%"ios there. "e1er ha1i"% yet do"e so. 'ot bei"% ab$e to as#ertai" their *hereabo&ts. I hired a fia#re a"d to$d the #oa#h a" to dri1e e to the best o"e. I sa* fi1e *o e". 2 there *ere te" i" the ho&se. a"d fi1e *ere the" i"isteri"% to a$e p$eas&res a"d their o*" profit. ) ta$$. "&t bro*" haired *o a". *ith soft dark eyes a"d #$ear #o p$e!io". #$ad i" a ha"dso e. $oose. ye$$o* si$k dress. attra#ted e. a"d soo" I sat *at#hi"% her take off her 1ery "i#e $i"e". 2 The" she *as $yi"% o" the bedside *ith #he ise &p to her breasts. a"d to y s&rprise a"d de$i%ht I fo&"d her se#ret #har s *ere 3&ite hair$ess. 2 For the o e"t I see ed &"der so e de$&sio". b&t there *as "o istake. ,er otte had the s$i%htest spri"k$i"% of "ear$y i"1isib$e $i%ht bro*"
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do*". *hi#h i%ht ha1e #o1ered a shi$$i"%. b&t it did "ot hide her bea&tif&$$y *hite f$esh there. a"d as the do*" approa#hed the sa#red orifi#e for the a$e. it #eased a$to%ether. a"d the sp$it fro o"e e"d to the other *as abso$&te$y hair$ess. The p&ffy s&rro&"di"% off the i"de"t 2 s#ar#e$y to be #a$$ed $ips 2 *as soft. e$asti#. *hite. a"d s ooth as i1ory. *ith a de$i#ate #ora$ ti"ted $i"e 0&st peepi"%. *hi#h *as hidde" $o*er do*" by the #$osi"% of the p$& p *hite b&tto#ks o" either side. I t&r"ed her ro&"d. k"ee$i"% her *ith her ha"dso e b&t "ot bi% b&tto#ks to*ards e. a"d the hair$ess red di1isio" *as a" e!3&isite si%ht. There *as "ot a post&re i" *hi#h I #o&$d p$a#e her to see her #&"t that I did"(t the" pose her i". ade her ope" the $ips *ith her fi"%ers. k"ee$ *ith thi%hs *ide apart *itho&t her fi"6%ers. so as to %et the #o"trast bet*ee" the *hite a"d #ora$. a"d the effe#t e1ery *ay *as ra1ishi"%. I sho&$d ha1e $iked a photo%raph of it. The fee$ of the s&rfa#e of her 3&i *as so soft. so e$asti#. so 1o$&pt&o&s. that I a#t&a$$y $a&%hed *ith se"s&o&s de$i%ht. a"d at o"#e k"e$t to %a ah&#he her. *ith y pri#k "oddi"% *ith stiff"ess a"d $&st. Yet ti$$ I(d see" her #har s I(d had "o desire. bei"% 1ery fati%&ed. i" a h&rry. a"d ere$y ha1i"% %o"e to the ba%"io to see *hat sort of p$a#e it *as. a"d *hat sort of *o e" *ere there. I $i#ked her odest $itt$e #$itoris ti$$ she *rithed a"d ref&sed to $et e #o"ti"&e. The" %etti"% &p a"d p$a#i"% y pe%o bet*ee" the *hite $ipped ope"i"%. dro1e it &p to the deepest depths of her #&"t. ;he" there. the p$eas&re of the $od%i"% *as so %reat. that it bro&%ht y p$eas&re to a" e"d too soo". I *as ho$di"% o"e thi%h &p. $ooki"% do*" at y pe%o(s o1e e"ts. a"d fee$i"% the soft *hite f$esh i" *hi#h it *as e bedded. ad iri"% a"d de$i%hted. *he" *ith a throb &p #a e y sper . )"d I(d %a ah&#hed her to so e p&rpose. for she spe"t dire#t$y y $ibatio" to&#hed her #&"t. She *as t*o a"d t*e"ty she said a"d $ooked abo&t that. She "e1er had had a"y ore hair tha" "o*. The first #a e *he" she *as abo&t ei%htee". before that she *as hair$ess abso$&te$y. I $ooked a"d fe$t #aref&$$y. to see if she *as sha1e". or *hether the p&de"da$ ba$d"ess *as artifi#ia$ a"d the res&$t of &si"% #he i#a$s. b&t it *as 3&ite "at&ra$. She $a&%hed *he" I to$d y do&bts. 2 4Look. $ook. its "at&re.4 said she. I *as ob$i%ed to depart "e!t day. b&t *i$$i"%$y *o&$d ha1e stayed to f&#k that ab"or a$ #&"t a%ai". I ha1e see" artifi#ia$ s ooth"ess o" #&"ts i" the East. b&t "e1er s&#h a "at&ra$$y hair$ess o"e i" a f&$$ %ro*" *o a". It &st be rare. for I ha1e see" perhaps fiftee" h&"dred. a"d thi"k I(1e o"$y see" o"e f&$$ %ro*" *o a"(s #&"t at a$$ rese b$i"% it. tho at this o e"t #a"(t re#o$$e#t *he" or *here. EThis a"&s#ript *as set aside *ith the i"te"tio" of p&tti"% it *ith others i"to a #hapter &po" #&"ts. It %ot is$aid ti$$ sorti"% for fi"a$ b&r"i"% of a"&s#ript.F

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Chapter VIII The pote"tia$ity of %o$d i" sed&#i"% *o e". S&dde" $et#hes 3&i#k$y %ratified. ) s a$$ #&"ted ba$$et %ir$. S*eet si!tee". @e""y the #oster %ir$. O" the hi%h road to har$otry. EThe fo$$o*i"% a$so *as $aid aside for a #hapter o" #&"ts. a"d it a"d the episode *ith the ba$$et %ir$ are p&t to%ether as i$$&stratio"s of the pote"tia$ity of %o$d i" %etti"% *o e" i" the $o*er ra"ks of $ife 2 perhaps i" a$$ ra"ks if the bid be hi%h e"o&%h.F )t a spe#ta#&$ar pie#e I t*i#e "oti#ed a shortish b&t s*eet $ooki"% ba$$et %ir$ *ith e!3&isite $e%s 2 o" the se#o"d o##asio" I *aited at the sta%e door to see her #o e o&t. So differe"t do *o e" $ook i" *a$ki"% dress to *hat they do *he" o" the sta%e. that it is diffi#&$t to re#o%"i-e the . b&t $ooki"% sharp$y. I dis#o1ered her $ea1i"% *ith a %ro&p of others. It *as a #o$dish "i%ht i" the be%i""i"% of Mar#h. )t first I hesitated to fo$$o* her. for her air of 3&iet respe#tabi$ity deterred e so e*hat. a"d I #o&$d "ot *e$$ a##ost her *he" s&rro&"ded by others. 7&t y #o#k s*e$$ed *ith desire. a"d &"der its sti &$ati"% i"f$&e"#e a"d *ith eroti# hopes a"d 1isio"s I fo$$o*ed her 2 as I(1e do"e s#ores of *o e" 2 ti$$ first o"e. the" a"other of the %ro&p *e"t off. a"d 3&i#k$y she *as $eft *ith t*o others o"$y. *ho *a$ked *ith her thro a" obs#&re a"d "ear$y deserted street ti$$ they e"tered a p&b$i# ho&se. 2 )fter ref$e#ti"% a i"&te I e"tered a$so. a"d fo&"d the sitti"% i" a pri1ate bar 2 "o other perso" there 2 eati"% sa"d*i#hes a"d dri"ki"% a$e 2 I ordered a %$ass of *i"e a"d stood $ooki"% at the . they $ooked at b&t took "o "oti#e of e. I sa* that i" bo"6"et she *as as ha"dso e as o" the sta%e. a"d y pe%o "o* "ear$y $ifted e off the %ro&"d *ith stiff"ess as I tho&%ht of her $e%s a"d breasts. 2 Re#k$ess "o* &"der its i"f$&e"#e. I asked the a$$ to ha1e port *i"e. T*o a##epted b&t she ref&sed 2 I ordered a bott$e. 'o* I asked *hy they *ere o&t so $ate. "ot a$$&di"% to the theatre. "either did they i" their a"s*er. 2 I %ot a oro&s$y s&%%esti1e. the t*o $a&%hed 2 for dire#t$y f&#ki"% e"ters the i"d *o e" are p$eased 2 b&t did"(t rep$y ti$$ I asked the a$$ to #o e ho e a"d s$eep i" y bed. tho I had "either ho&se "or bed *here I #o&$d %o. ;as it $ar%e e"o&%h/ asked o"e. 2 ;hat *o&$d I do/ the" asked the other. 24;hate1er yo& $ike. *hat sha$$ it be/4 2 More $a&%hi"% the". 2 4O"e at a ti e(s e"o&%h is"(t it/4 said y fa"#y. 2 4It *o&$d be *ith yo&.4 2 4;e &st %o.4 said she. )$$ prepared 3&i#k$y to %o. a"d the" o"$y she took a %$ass of *i"e a"d i ediate$y departed. so h&rried$y 2 as if s#ared 2 that I did"(t *ait for #ha"%e i" pay e"t for the *i"e for fear of $osi"% si%ht of the . I heard the $a&%h as they %ot o&tside a"d s&ppose it *as abo&t e. the" hopi"% I sho&$d at so e ti e #at#h her a$o"e. I fo$$o*ed 3&i#k$y.
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;he" o&tside I sa* her ahead a"d a$o"e. the others had %o"e off. I" a i"&te I *as by her side. te$$i"% her I had see" her i" the ba$$et. ad ired her $o1e$y for . a"d aski"% her to $et e %o ho e *ith her. She stopped. ref&sed. professed s&rprise at y aski"%. I %re* bo$der. 2 4'o"se"se y dar$i"%. I($$ %i1e yo& a so1erei%".4 2 4I *o"(t 2 I &st %et ho e. it(s so $ate 2 besides I #a"(t.4 2 The" ready to e pty y p&rse to ha1e her. 2 4I($$ p&t yo& i"to a #ab a"d %i1e yo& three so1erei%"s.4 2 The" she stopped. $ooked at e. the" $ooked ba#k to see if a"y o"e *as "oti#i"% her. ) $itt$e f&rther pers&asio" a"d the". 4I #a"(t stop ore tha" te" i"&tes the".4 2 I a##eded to e1ery #o"ditio". dri1e" to a free #offee shop. a shabby o"e *hi#h I k"e* of. a"d *ere soo" i" a bedroo . She p&$$ed do*" her 1ei$ to hide her fa#e as she approa#hed the ho&se. If I *a"t a *o a" "ot re%&$ar$y o" the to*". it(s best to bid a"d at o"#e 1ery hi%h for her fa1o&rs. I o&%ht to ha1e bid three at first. for I k"o* that tho ba$$et %ir$s *i$$ f&#k for $o1e. they rate their #&"ts hi%h if they are to be paid for the . I(d bee" e&$o%i-i"% the bea&ty of her for *he" she #o"se"ted to #o e. a"d she(d said 4I($$ she* yo& that b&t "o ore. i"d.4 ) f&""y reser1atio" *hi#h I tho&%ht a 0oke. or perhaps that she had her o"th$ies o". 7&t I *a"ted to see her "&de so a%reed. a"d *o&$d ha1e do"e a"ythi"% to %et i"to a bedroo . k"o*i"% that a *o a" *ho has tasted the p$eas&re of a pe%o 2 a"d I *as s&re she had 2 *o&$d "e1er resist o"e stiff sta"di"% i" fro"t of her to her ha"d. ) stiff red #apped pri#k has a fas#i"atio". a"d a k"o*i"% #&"t heats. ti"%$es a"d s*eats its $&bri#atio" at the si%ht of o"e. 2 )fter taki"% her bo""et off she sat o" the bedside. I be%a" $ifti"% her #$othes a"d *he" they *ere &p to her %arters she stopped e. 4That(s a$$.4 2 4'o"se"se. I &st see yo&r thi%hs.4 She $ifted the 1ery s$o*$y. stoppi"% short of her otte. a"d she(d dra*ers o". 2 4There the".4 2 I p&shed y ha"d bet*ee" the o" to the "ot#h. She #$osed her thi%hs ti%ht$y. 2 4'o ore.4 2 4;e$$ take yo&r dra*ers off. I #a"(t see as &#h as I did i" the ba$$et.4 )s she resisted *hi$st yet she $a&%hed. a"d as I hate bei"% p$ayed *ith so by a *o a". I $ost y te per. 2 4+o"(t be a foo$. I($$ f&#k yo& or I *o"(t pay yo&.4 2 4I *o&$d"(t ha1e #o e the".4 2 4Look.4 said I. p&$$i"% o&t y pri#k. stiff as a aypo$e. She did $ook at it a"d $o"% *hi$st sayi"%. 2 4'o 2 "o.4 2 7&t it e!#ited her a"d a i"&te after she *as fee$i"% it a"d I her pretty 3&i . 2 Soo" after she *as i" #he ise at the bedside. thi%hs apart. a"d the $o1e$y "ot#h e!posed a"d I e!a i"i"% it *ith $&stf&$ de$i%ht. 4I( 1ery s a$$ ade. a I "ot/4 said she i" a" apo$o%eti# to"e. as if she *ished to *ar" e. It *as perhaps the s a$$est #&"t I e1er fe$t i" a *o a". The "ot#h approa#hed the &s&a$ si-e. b&t the $o1e a1e"&e *as 3&ite ti%ht to y fi"%er. a"d I tho&%ht y pe%o #o&$d "e1er %et &p it. 7&t stra"%e$y e"o&%h. that 1ery idea see ed to stiffe" it to a" &"be"dab$e state. it *as #ast iro" as the %$a"d to&#hed the s a$$ orifi#e. a"d it %$ided ri%ht &p *itho&t stoppi"%. ti$$ I to&#hed the e"d of the t&be a"d hit hard. 2 She si%hed b&t "othi"% ore. I fe$t her %e"ita$ $&bri#ati"% 0&i#es soo" iss&i"% a"d softe"i"% ro&"d y tip. b&t as her
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p$eas&re #a e o". the ti%hte"i"% of her a1e"&e a$ ost h&rt e Eit *as *he" y pri#k *as ore se"siti1e as I ha1e a$ready ofte" des#ribed. a"d I preferred a" easy #&"tF. )s she spe"t. I fe$t as if the %$a"d *as bei"% "ipped by a ha"d. The ti%ht"ess *as se"sib$e to y pri#k as it d*i"d$ed 1o$&pt&o&s$y. a"d its #o pressio" *as the" e!3&isite to it. as I stood ho$di"% &p her thi%hs. The". *he" *ith a parti"% "ip at y pri#k tip as it 3&itted her. a"d *he" after*ards. y fi"%er sear#hed the &#i$a%i"o&s soft i"terior. it sti$$ *as ti%ht to it. I "e1er fe$t s&#h a ti%ht #&"t before. 'ot o"e of the a"y yo&"% hair$ess #&"ted o"es had s&#h a ti%ht #o#k pit. a"d I %$oried i" ha1i"% f&#ked this #$ipper. She *as as a"y of her #$ass are. 1ai" as a pea#o#k. I(d fo&"d that o&t before. I praised her #&"t. said it *as de$i#io&s. y e&$o%ies de$i%hted her so. that i"stead of te" i"&tes she stopped "ear$y a" ho&r. stripped a$$ b&t sto#ki"%s. to $et e see her e!3&isite for . a"d I f&#ked a%ai" her $&bri#io&s &"*ashed #ha""e$. I *o&$d"(t $et her *ash it. a"d i"deed thi"k she "e1er #o&$d ha1e %ot the sper o&t if she had. I took a #&rio&s fa"#y to her o" a##o&"t of her 3&i a"d she 2 as I ha1e fo&"d a$$ 1ery ti%ht #&"ted o"es 2 see ed happy i" ta$ki"% abo&t it. I asked her to eet e a%ai". She said she #o&$d"(t a"d to$d e &#h. b&t *hether tr&e or "ot I #a""ot say. 2 4Yo&($$ "e1er see e a%ai".4 She(d $eft the theatre that "i%ht for %ood. had do"e *ith the sta%e. sho&$d $ea1e Lo"do" "e!t day. 2 4'o. I( "ot %oi"% to be %ay. I "e1er ha1e bee" %ay. ) %e"t$e a" akes e a" a$$o*a"#e. he did it to e first. Yes a"d he p&t e o" the sta%e. he pays for y da"#i"% there. they do"(t pay e.4 Three or fo&r e" besides hi a"d yse$f she ad itted. "ot ore. had had her. 4)$$ ha1e said I *as 1ery s a$$ ade.4 2 These i" a"s*ers to y 3&estio"s. The" she ad itted that she *a"ted f&#ki"% 0&st *he" I spoke to her i" the p&b$i# ho&se. her frie"d *as o&t of to*" b&t *o&$d eet her o" the orro*. O"e or t*o %ir$s had fe$t her #&"t a"d she theirs. to 0&d%e if hers rea$$y *as s a$$. 4It *i$$ be a bad $ook o&t if I %et i" the fa i$y *ay. a"d I hope yo& ha1e"(t do"e it.4 It(s a$*ays a &si"% to hear *hat a *o a" says of herse$f. so retai" this "arrati1e. b&t pri"#ipa$$y be#a&se of her ti%ht #&"t. I ha1e had others ti%htish b&t "e1er s&#h a ti%ht o"e i" a %ro*" *o a". 2 She said she *as "i"etee" a"d $ooked that a%e. the hair of her head. #&"t. a"d ar pits *as dark. I *e"t t*i#e to the theatre after*ards. b&t "e1er sa* her there a%ai" "or e$se*here. She said she *as %oi"% to be arried. )bo&t si! o"e *ar e1e"i"% i" a&t& " I *as "ear a arket at H H H. The %reat traffi# of the day *as o1er as I sa&"tered o&t of #&riosity thro a street I(d "e1er see" before. o"e of &#h trade. b&t *here e1ery shop *as #$osed for the "i%ht. a"d b&t fe* pedestria"s i" it. 2 'ear a p&b$i# ho&se stood t*o porters ta$ki"%. )t the #or"er of a "arro* street. three #o o" %ir$s *ere $o$$i"% a%ai"st the *a$$. ta$ki"% a"d $arki"% *ith a #o&p$e of $ads $ooki"% s#ar#e$y si!tee" years o$d. the %ir$s see i"% of abo&t the sa e a%e.
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VOLUME 11

St&rdy. thi#k b&i$t *e"#hes. $ooki"% $ike arket or #oster %ir$s <they *ere= a"d #$ad i" %ood tho #oarse *ork6soi$ed #$othi"% a"d *ith short petti#oats a"d boots s&itab$e for their *ork a"d #$ass. They had dirty ha"ds a"d $ooked s*eaty. d&sty. a"d *ork *or". T*o had hats. the other "o"e. she *as a s&perb$y ha"dso e #reat&re *ith 1ery $i%ht #o$ored hair of bri%ht h&e. *hi#h e1ide"t$y #ri ped "at&ra$$y. a f$orid fa#e. retro&ssM "ose. a"d bi% o&th *ith *hite teeth. she(d $i%ht b$&e eyes. a fi"e b&st a"d $ar%e hips. a"d the 1ery pi#t&re of #oarse hea$th she $ooked. )s I took her poi"ts i" at a %$a"#e a"d tho&%ht her bea&tif&$. the" I a$so tho&%ht of her se#ret #har s. *o"dered if she(d bee" f&#ked. a"d tho&%ht ho* *e$$ she(d $ook if *ashed a"d *e$$ dressed. those a##essories of bea&ty. I stood $ooki"% &p "o* a"d the" see i"%$y at the ho&ses to hide y ob0e#t. *hi#h *as to see her a"d the %ro&p. a"d to *at#h their horse p$ay. The $ads *ere #haffi"% the %ir$s. o"e s"at#hed a kiss a"d %ot a s$ap o" his head. tho the *e"#h *as e1ide"t$y p$eased. 2 The other $ad s&dde"$y ade a di% at the fair haired o"e(s #$othes o&tside her %r& it. aki"% so e re6 ark *hi#h I #o&$d"(t hear. b&t at *hi#h a$$ $a&%hed. ,e ra" off &p the short "arro* street. p&rs&ed by the %ir$ *ho see ed rea$$y a"%ry. a"d i" a se#o"d they had t&r"ed a #or"er a"d *ere o&t of si%ht. The %ir$s *ith hats a"d the $ad re ai"i"% $ooked ro&"d the #or"er $a&%hi"%. a"d res& ed their positio" a%ai"st the *a$$. The $ad $o&d$y said. 4To *a"ts it bad do"(t he Loo/4 2 4I d&""o. ask hi .4 said the %ir$. ,e o" that p&t his ha"d ro&"d her a"d s"at#hed a"other kiss. disarra"%i"% her bo""et i" doi"% so. %ot a"other hard s$ap a"d a p&sh. a"d 4I($$ ki#k yo&r b$oody arse if yer does that a%ai".4 )$$ this o##&rred a$ ost si &$ta"eo&s$y. a"d far 3&i#ker tha" this a##o&"t of it is *ritte". The street *as 3&ite 3&iet. a"d e1ery *ord easi$y heard. The %ro&p took "o "oti#e of e. "either did the 1ery fe* passers by. The si%ht %a1e e a spas odi#. 1o$&pt&o&s throb i" y pe%o. for I *as 1ery fit that e1e"i"%. a"d *ith se!&a$ i"sti"#t 2 I s&ppose 2 s$o*$y I *a$ked &p the "arro* street. as a"y other pedestria" i%ht. a"d t&r"i"% the #or"er sa* the #o&p$e str&%%$i"% to%ether. he s"at#hi"% at her petti#oats as before. she hitti"% hi . 4Let(s fee$ it. @e""y.4 4:et a*ay yo& b$a#k%&ard.4 2 4I(1e fe$t it.4 4Yo& ai"(t. yer $iar.4 #a e #$ear$y to y ears as I t&r"ed the #or"er. 2 My appeara"#e i ediate$y stopped the f&". a"d *ith a parti"% s$ap fro her the $ad ra" off. $ea1i"% her a$o"e *ith e. "o other perso" *as i" the passa%e 2 ) foot6*ay o"$y 2 i"deed e!#epti"% at arket ho&rs fe* passed that *ay. C&i#k$y as tho&%ht a"d to be%i" a #o"1ersatio" *ith her. 2 a$ ost a"ythi"% does for that. 2 I asked her the *ay to a p$a#e a"d she be%a" to te$$ e. 2 4She* e the *ay. yo& are so $o1e$y a"d I($$ pay yo&.4 2 The opport&"ity had #o e so s&dde"$y that I(d "ot ti e to thi"k abo&t a #o&rse of a#tio". Ci1i$$y she be%a" to e!6p$ai" the road. the" tha"ki"% her I said. 4,o* $o1e$y yo& are. I(1e bee" *at#hi"% yo& a"d $o"%i"% to be hi .4 2 4;hat/ 2 a"d she $a&%hed. 4Yes 2 #o e *ith e a"d I($$ %i1e yo& t*o so1erei%"s.4
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MY SECRET LIFE

4;hart/4 2 said she a%ai" sta"di"% a a-ed *ith stari"% eyes. 2 @&st the" so e o"e approa#hed. 4Is it that *ay/4 said I as a b$i"d. 2 ) a-ed as she had see ed by y offer. she took the hi"t. a"d be%a" e!p$ai"i"% the *ay. poi"ti"% to it. 2 I" a fe* se#o"ds the pedestria" had 1a"ished a"d a%ai" I said 4I($$ %i1e yo& t*o so1erei%"s to #o e *ith e.4 )%ai" she repeated. 4;hart/4 The" ref$e#ti"% she added. 2 4)i"(t yo& 0&st a #heeky o"e.4 2 4I *i$$ by :od. a"d ore. yo& are so $o1e$y.4 2 She $a&%hed. the" i" a stra"%e$y #o"f&sed a"d ha$f asha ed a""er. $ooked at e hard a"d shook her head. 2 4+o.4 2 4'o tha"kee Sir I #a"(t.4 2 4+o. I($$ be ba#k here to eet yo& i" a 3&arter of a" ho&r a"d I($$ %i1e yo& t*o bri%ht so1erei%"s.4 2 ('o.4 )%ai" she shook her head. a%ai" I pressed a"d repeated y offer. )t $e"%th 2 4I( so dirty.4 2 4'e1er i"d. yo&(re $o1e$y. a"d it *i$$ be dark.4 2 T*i$i%ht *as a$6ready #o i"% o". 4Mi"d t*o so1erei%"s/4 4;hat for/ )"d I(1e %ot "o bo""et.4 4'e1er i"d. i" a 3&arter of a" ho&r be here. *i$$ yo&/ ;e($$ %o i" a #ab.4 2 4Yer ai"(t a$yi"%/4 )"other pedestria" passed *hi$st these fe* *ords *ere bei"% e!#ha"%ed. a"d as she 2 a *o a" "o* 2 appeared. I poi"ted a%ai" as if seeki"% dire#tio". a"d the %ir$ did the sa e. 'o"e are so #&""i"% as those i" $&st. a"d I thi"k she *as a $itt$e so "o*. @&st the" the $ad reappeared at the #or"er a"d I be%a" poi"ti"% as before as a b$i"d. She sa* the $ad i%ht s&spe#t. a"d "ot *ishi"% to be #a&%ht by hi ta$ki"% to a %e"t$e a". ba*$ed o&t. 4The %e"t *a"ts to k"o* the *ay to H H H H.4 ,e approa#hed a"d to$d e 2 poi"ti"% i" a"other dire#tio". 2 4Sho* e a"d I($$ %i1e yo& t*ope"#e.4 ,e *e"t ahead. 4I" t*e"ty i"&tes here.4 2 said I i" a $o* 1oi#e. a"d fo$$o*ed the $ad #&rsi"% hi i" y heart for i"terr&pti"% &s. a"d *o"deri"% if the t*o so1erei%"s *o&$d bri"% ba#k the *e"#h to the eeti"% p$a#e. I sa* that the offer of t*o so1erei%"s had 3&ite sta%%ered her. she *ho perhaps had "e1er bee" paid fi1e shi$$i"%s for her p$eas&res 2 if paid at a$$ 2 for she e1ide"t$y *as "o str& 6pet. 7&t a$$ *o e" are paid for their fa1o&rs either i" ea$ or a$t. )s soo" as I *as *e$$ a*ay fro the p$a#e I %a1e the $ad threepe"#e. a"d off he *e"t. ) fe* i"&tes after. I %ot i"to a fo&r *hee$ed #ab. a"d setti"% yse$f *e$$ ba#k to$d the dri1er. to %o at *a$ki"% pa#e a$o"% the street *here the %ro&p had bee" sta"di"%. There stood the sa e $ot see i"%$y abo&t to separate as the #ab passed the . they did"(t see e. I" three or fo&r i"&tes I *e"t ba#k a%ai" at a trot. The $ads *ere %o"e. the %ir$s %oi"% i" a"other dire#tio". I *as de$i%hted. I(1e a"y ti es bee" he$ped i" y a o&rs by #ab e". a"d thro&%h the *i"do* said. 4Fo$$o* those %ir$s 2 do"(t $ose si%ht of the . I do"(t *a"t to be see".4 4)$$ ri%ht. Sir.4 2 )t the e"d of the street *here it 0oi"s a $ar%e thoro&%hfare. he dro1e past b&t "e1er $ost si%ht of the . a"d stopped as they did. I #o&$d the" see the three %ir$s sta"di"% to%ether a"d ta$ki"% for te" i"&tes. The" to y de$i%ht t*o *e"t off $ea1i"% y *e"#h a$o"e. *ho retra#ed her
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VOLUME 11

steps 1ery s$o*$y. stoppi"% fro ti e to ti e a"d $ooki"% ba#k. the" t&r"ed to*ards the p$a#e of re"de-1o&s at the #or"er of the "arro* street. She stopped there for a se#o"d as if #o"sideri"%. *iped her fa#e *ith a dirty ha"dker#hief. arra"%ed her hair *ith her ha"d. the" 3&i#k$y *e"t &p it a"d ro&"d the #or"er 2 I %ot o&t of the #ab. paid hi . to$d hi to *ait a"d *e"t after her. It *as "o* 3&ite d&sk. There she stood a"d *he" I(d 0oi"ed her. said she *as afraid to #o e. she tho&%ht she(d te$$ e to pre1e"t y *aiti"% &se$ess$y. )fter a fe* *ords of pers&asio" a"d the t*o so1erei%"s offered a%ai". she *as i" the #ab *ith e a"d off *e dro1e. )fter *e had bee" i" the #ab a i"&te I kissed her. she ret&r"ed it sayi"%. 4Yo&(re a #heeky o"e.4 Soo" after. 2 4If yo&($$ stop here t*o or three i"&tes I($$ %et e a bo""et. 2 ;here are yo& ataki"% e/ I rea$$y #a"(t stop o&t $ate. 2 ;hat are yo& a%oi" to do/4 2 4'e1er i"d yo&r bo""et 2 I *a"t to fee$ yo&r $itt$e #&"t a"d yo& to fee$ y pri#k.4 2 4Oho 2 "o yo& sha"(t 2 yo& ha1e b$oo i"( #heek. 2 I( sorry I(1e #o ed.4 2 4+o"(t be a foo$. yo&($$ ha1e t*o so1erei%"s.4 2 She #h&#k$ed a"d o" *e"t the #ab. 2 4I( h&"%ry. 2 It(s "ear y ti e to %r&b. a"d they($$ *o"6der *here I a .4 2 4I($$ %et yo& so ethi"%.4 a"d at a p&b$i#. %etti"% o&t b&t keepi"% her i" the #ab. I took her %i"%er beer a"d %i" i" it a"d t*o bi% b&"s. 2 O" *e dro1e. a"d the". b&t *ith &#h resista"#e. a"d drop6pi"% her b&" i" pre1e"ti"% e. I %ot y fi"%ers *e$$ o" a oist #&"t. 2 )fter a f&rther str&%%$e y fi"%er re ai"ed there *hi#h see ed to 3&iet her &#h. b&t she see ed offe"ded a"d re arked. 4I ai"(t that as yer thi"ks. I *orks for y $i1i"% a"d pretty hard too.4 2 4Yo&(1e bee" f&#ked a"d yo& $i1e *ith a a".4 2 4'o I do"(t. I $i1es *ith the o$d peop$e.4 2 she did"(t de"y the f&#ki"%. 7y the ti e *e rea#hed the ho&se I *as h&%%i"% her #$ose$y a"d had fe$t her $&bri#io&s orifi#e both i"side a"d o&t. as far as the positio" e"ab$ed e. a"d satisfied yse$f she *as"(t 1ir%i". She %ot a%ai" si$e"t. see i"%$y thi"ki"% *hi$st e"0oyi"% the p$ay of y di%its o" her 3&i . S&#h are $o1e$y o e"ts for a"y #o&p$e. a"d it *as I( s&re for her. tho she see ed fri%hte"ed at *hat she *as doi"%. The istress *ho k"e* e *as asto&"ded to see a #o o" *e"#h *itho&t a bo""et. a"d i" a *hisper hoped a$$ *as ri%ht. She feared #o"se3&e"#es. s&spe#ti"% I(d bro&%ht a #ha"#e 1ir%i" a"d had ade her s#re*ed. I" the bedroo the %ir$ #&rio&s 2 as a$$ s&#h as 2 $ooked e1ery*here. 2 4It(s a ba&dy shop. ai"(t it/4 2 4Yes. take off yo&r thi"%s.4 2 4'o.4 She resisted that ear"est$y as a ha$f odest %ir$ *o&$d. b&t $o"%i"% to see her "ot#h. I p&shed her o" the bed a"d the" her #$othes &p. 4Oh "o*. I *o"(t.4 ) ore di"%y si%ht of petti#oats a"d #he ise I do"(t re#o$$e#t. b&t her fat ba#kside. p$& p thi%hs. a"d s ooth be$$y *ere *hite a"d #$ea". a"d the prettiest $itt$e "ot#h $ay bet*ee" the . Crisp. #&r$y. short hair s&rro&"ded a de$i#ate #ora$ stripe. "ot &#h *as o" the otte. a"d it $ooked ost e"ti#i"%. *as the #har i"% #&"t of si!tee". She *as a $itt$e o1er si!tee". ) #&"t is i" its hi%hest bea&ty at abo&t that a%e. I "o* thi"k. tho i" y yo&th I $o1ed the $ar%er a"d 1ery hairy.
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I prod&#ed y pe%o *hi#h she 3&iet$y ad ired $o"% 2 a"d I fe$t s&re fro her $ooks she had"(t see" a"y 2 i" de$i#io&s si$e"#e. Soo" after she ha"d$ed it *hi$st y fi"%er titi$$ated her. 2 4+o yo& *a"t it/4 2 'o. said she *ri%%$i"%. 4Let e f&#k yo&.4 2 4'o.4 said she s3&ir i"% abo&t 2 the" 3&i#k$y after. 2 4Oh9 2 +o"(t 2 aha 2 sho1e it i".4 2 &r &red she 1ery 1&$%ar$y. I" a se#o"d *e *ere f&#ki"% at the bedside. she *as f&$$ a"d ra"dy. a"d soo" *e spe"t i" &"iso". She *as yo&"%. art$ess. hot b$ooded. si%hed &#h. a"d %a1e *ay free$y to her p$eas&re. 2 My pri#k $i"%ered i" her $o"% *hi$st I $ooked do*" at her *hite be$$y a"d thi%hs. a"d a"o" at her dirty $i"e". 7&t the $o1e$y #o"60&"#tio" #eased. the e1ide"#es of o&r p$eas&re ro$$ed o&t. a"d I p&shed &p her thi%hs. ho$di"% the apart to ad ire the pear$y iss&e. The" she *ashed her #&"t %i1i"% a ere o&tside s$&i#e. a"d spite of her str&%%$es. I *ashed her #&"t o&tside a%ai" yse$f a"d &#h to her asto"ish e"t. 2 ,ad she bee" a str& pet she(d ha1e *ashed it &p e"o&%h. ,er *ashi"% i" fa#t sho*ed she *as "ot habit&a$$y %ay. a"d her p$eas&re i" seei"% y pe%o. a"d a shy"ess of a""er. ade e s&re she *as "o har$ot. 4,as "o o"e *ashed yo&r #&"t b&t yo&rse$f/4 4Lord "o 2 *hat do yo& thi"k 2 *hat did yo& *a"t to do it for/4 2 4For p$eas&re.4 2 4,o 2 ho 2 I &st %o.4 2 4Yo& sha"(t yet. %et "aked a"d so *i$$ I.4 2 4Oho. "o 2 there the". I *o"(t do that.4 2 4,a1e yo& "e1er bee" "aked to a a"/4 2 4'e1er. b&t o"$y to y o*" #hap.4 2 ,e(d first had her *he" si!tee". she said. ,e had a #art. *as %etti"% o". b&t dra"k &#h. I i"sisted. she stripped. I did the sa e. a"d i" "&dity. sto#ki"%s e!#epted. *e p$ayed *ith ea#h other(s se!&a$ or%a"s. >ers&adi"% her *as de$i#io&s. for she *as odest a"d "o sha . a"d she *as e1ide"t$y 1o$&pt&o&s$y de$i%hted as i" si$e"#e she p&$$ed y prep&#e &p a"d do*". a"d ha"d$ed y ba$$s as if she(d "e1er see" a f&$$ %ro*" ba$$o#ks before. 'ot a bit *as it $ike the e!perie"#ed a"ip&$atio" of a har$ot. I 3&estio"ed her. a"d she a"s*ered strai%ht. I fe$t s&re. tho "o do&bt s&ppressi"% a"y thi"%s. 2 4Yo&(1e bee" f&#ked.4 2 4;hy. i" #o&rse. yo& k"o*s that.4 2 4,o* did I/4 2 4Yo& k"o*s it.4 2 4,o* a"y e" ha1e f&#ked yo&/4 2 4O"$y o"e.4 2 4That(s a fib.4 2 4It(s tr&e. so he$p e :od. 2 Yo&(s the o"$y other #hap. 2 ;hy I ai"(t had it t*o o"ths. a"d $i1es at ho e at H H H H. I ra" a*ay o"#e *ith hi . the "i%ht I *as do"e 2 b&t they %ot e ba#k. 2 So he$p e :od it(s tr&e. 2 Yes I $ets hi *he" he %ets the #ha"#e. b&t they says he(s taki"% o" *ith a"other %a$. 2 I($$ ser1e her o&t if I %ets ho$d o" her.4 2 The" y pri#k bei"% stiff a"d her #&"t ready *ith o&r ha"d$i"%s a%ai". they 0oi"ed. 2 The" o&r se!&a$ e#stasies o1er 2 a"d did"(t she e"0oy the f&#k/ 2 I had a #ab %ot a"d p&t her i"to it *ith t*o so1erei%"s i" her ha"d. 2 She(d "e1er i" her $ife had a so1erei%" before of her o*". she said. 2 Ma"y a %ir$ has had her first bit of %o$d fro e. has fo&"d o&t the ready o"ey61a$&e of her #&"t. 4'o. it(s "o %ood yo&r a*riti"( e a"d I reads bad$y. a"d praps they($$ %et ho$d o" it. tho they #a"(t read.4 7&t she a%reed to eet e a%ai" a"d I *rote do*" ti e a"d p$a#e. 2 4I($$ p&t o" a bo""et "e!t ti e. b&t I #a"(t p&t o" y best thi"%s. they($$ *a"t to k"o* *hy a"d I(d $ike to #o e ear$ier.4 So it a$$ #a e
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VOLUME 11

abo&t. I et her that day *eek a"d she *as #$ea"er. had better boots a"d *hite sto#ki"%s. She *as a fi"e ode$ fro head to foot. s&#h so$idity of f$esh. so sati"y. a"d tho she said she "e1er took a bath i" her $ife. she *as as s*eet as a "&t. I f&#ked. the" %a ah&#hed her. %i1i"% her her first p$eas&re that *ay. 4'o.4 "o to"%&e had to&#hed her #$itoris before. she said. The" I f&#ked her a%ai" a"d she *e"t off *ith t*o so1erei%"s a%ai". a$$ I(d pro ised. She ear"ed at *ork so eti es ei%htee" pe"#e a day. so eti es "ot that s& . ;he" *ith her father he %a1e her "othi"% of her ear"i"%s. 47&t he keeps e.4 She to$d e &#h ore abo&t herse$f. b&t e1ide"t$y "ot a$$. ho* she so eti es *e"t o&t *ith a barro*. a"d after *ork *as do"e i"to the streets to ta$k *ith her frie"ds. ,er 4yo&"% a"4 had said. 4that if he #a&%ht e *ith a"other #hap he(d s ash both o&r b$oody "oses. a"d "o* he(s after a"other %a$.4 2 4;hat if he k"e* I(d f&#ked yo&/4 2 4+&"" 2 b&t he #a"(t k"o*. 2 Shi"ers ai"(t %ot at barro*s are they/4 2 She said that the t*o shi"ers pro ised had ade her #o e *ith e. 2 4Yo&(d ake p$e"ty if yo& $iked.4 2 She k"e* *hat I ea"t 2 $ooked $o"% at e a"d shook her head. 2 4I ai"(t a%oi"( at that %a e 2 "o tha"kee 2 "ot if I k"o*s it. ,e($$ arry e I thi"k "o* if father $et his 2 if he *o"(t I($$ r&" a*ay a%i". 2 Yes. I($$ #o e here *ith yo& a%i" if yo& $ike. b&t I #a"(t ha1e a $etter if yo& k"o*ed *here I $i1es e1e".4 ) sp$e"did strappi"%. hea$thy #reat&re she *as. a"y ri#h *o&$d %i1e a"ythi"% for s&#h a" offspri"%. 2 ) bit fit for a >ri"#e(s pri#k. a"d *hat a $o1e$y #&"t9 Yet a #oster spe"t i" it first. a"d *i$$ yet take his p$eas&re i" it. I had her o"#e ore. She 3&i#k$y %ot at y too$ a"d p$ayed *ith it as if $e*ed to her b& ho$e. 2 It *as de$i#io&s$y e!#iti"% to see her at y pri#k. 2 She %ri""ed a"d ad itted her yo&"% a" had had her i" the i"ter1a$. 2 4'o. o"$y o"#e 2 sha"(t te$$ yo& *here. 2 :i1e e/ 2 "othi"% he did"(t 2 he "e1er %i1ed e "othi"% 2 "e1er he did"(t. b&t he says he($$ arry e4 2 her 1ery *ords. 2 My $et#h *as o1er. her #oarse"ess a""oyed e. a"d I sa* her "o ore. E;i$$ she arry/ her se!&a$ e"0oy e"t *as i e"se. her de$i%ht i" ha"d$i"% y pe%o a"d e1e" i" sho*i"% e her "aked bea&ties at o&r third eeti"% *as de$i#io&s. Las#i1io&s"ess had set i". the de$i%ht of the se#ret eeti"%s *ith a %e"t$e a" %a1e her &"6dis%&ised p$eas&re a"d she(d ha1e $et e f&#k her to a"y e!te"t. ;he" I to$d her I #o&$d "a e "o ti e to eet her a%ai". b&t *o&$d so e day be at the arket *here she ta$ked *ith frie"ds *he" the day(s *ork *as do"e. her #o&"te"a"#e fe$$. a"d she be#a e d&$$. 2 +id the so1erei%"s ake her t&r" har$ot/ Or f&#ki"% a"d so1erei%"s to%ether 2 or did she be#o e a 1irt&o&s #oster(s *ife/ 2 )"d she a$so *as f&#ked *he" si!tee". a$$ her #$ass are. they *i$$ be f&#ked. 2 Ladies &st o"$y fri% the se$1es ti$$ they are arried. 2 &"ti$ fi1e a"d t*e"ty ofte". ;hat a $oss of p$eas&re9 F

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Chapter IN Fo%%y "i%hts( street6a &se e"ts. C&"ts hairy a"d hair$ess fe$t. ) &se e"ts i" the ho&se after*ards. Litt$e +i thirtee" *ith sister Sarah t*e"ty. F$at f&#ki"%. a$ias 4f&#ki"% 'a""y.4 ,o a%e to $itt$e +i(s se!&a$ orifi#e. ) b&!o $a"d$ady. My frie"d(s $od%i"%s. C&"t str&#k a"d #o#k str&#k. Co"1ersatio"a$ i"#ite e"ts. Opport&"ity o" the dra*i"% roo f$oor. +o%s f&#ki"%. ;e f&#ki"%. E"#ei"te. ) tra1e$$i"% pro#&ress. The i$$i"er(s shop. ,er *ork *o e". O" the first f$oor fro"t *ith Sophy. >ri#e a"d p$a#e arra"%ed. ) pre$i i"ary %rope. +iffere"#es *ith the i$6$i"er. Fifty po&"ds for a 1ir%i". )" assi%"atio" "ot kept. I" the a&t& " I *as at a hea$th resort. Stoppi"% there *as a" e$der$y frie"d. *ho for 3&iet"ess had $od%i"%s a$ ost i" the s&b&rbs. ,e(d bee" a $o"% ti e there. said the ho&se *as e!#eedi"%$y #o fortab$e. a"d be$o"%ed to a *ido* *ho had a $itt$e %ir$. She said she *as "ot a $od%i"% ho&se keeper. tho for a fe* o"ths i" the seaso" she $et the %ro&"d f$oor. %etti"% a $itt$e e!tra o"ey *hi#h *as &sef&$ for the ed&#atio" of her %ir$. It see ed to y frie"d that there *as tr&th i" *hat she said. as for the first f$oor 2 *hi#h she did"(t &se &#h 2 she asked s&#h a pri#e. that "o o"e *o&$d take it. ,e had to$d her so. She(d rep$ied that it did"(t atter. for she #o&$d do 1ery *e$$ *itho&t it. The ho&se *as her o*". *as "e*$y a"d *e$$ f&r"ished. she had e1ery appeara"#e of ha1i"% ea"s. a"d she(d bee" there t*o years. There *as so ethi"% "e1erthe$ess ysterio&s abo&t her. ,is a%e a"d habits re"dered hi abo1e s&spi#io" of a atory affairs. She ope"ed the door to e *he" I #a$$ed o"e day. My frie"d *as o&t. I *aited for hi . a"d to y s&r6prise. I fo&"d her a *o a" of "ot perhaps ore tha" se1e" a"d thirty. sto&tish. *e$$ %ro*". *ith bri%ht dark eyes a"d ha"dso e fa#e. I %ot i"to #o"1ersatio" *ith her. *hi#h at first she see ed disi"#$i"ed to. ;e #hatted abo&t y frie"d. 2 4Yes. a "i#e 3&iet a".4 she said. if he *ere "ot she sho&$d"(t keep hi . It *as said i" a" i"depe"de"t sort of *ay. The". that rea$$y she "eed"(t $et the roo s. b&t the e!tra o"ey *as &sef&$ to better ed&#ate her %ir$. ;e #hatted o". bit by bit I e$i#ited that her h&sba"d had bee" dead fo&r years. ,er b&!o fresh $ook stirred y $&st. I had tho&%ht of her hidde" #har s. a"d *ith those de$i#ate b&t *ar s&%%estio"s. *hi#h #o e "at&ra$$y. *he" 1o$&pt&o&s fee$i"%s r&" thro e. I asked *hy she did"(t arry a%ai". ho* she &st iss a bedfo$$o*. did she #&dd$e the pi$$o* a"d so o". a$$ te"di"% to raise tho&%hts of a"d ake her *a"t f&#ki"%. She $a&%hed. #o$ored &p. $ooked at e soft$y a"d asked 3&estio"s abo&t yse$f. I a"s*ered i" *ords to i p$y that I *as fo"d of *o e". a"d k"e* *hat se!&a$ tro&b$e a fi"e *o a" $ike her &st ha1e. *ho(d bee" by death depri1ed of her bed6 fe$$o*.
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VOLUME 11

I" s&#h #ha"#e eeti"%s *he" desire spri"%s &p. &#h depe"ds &po" the se!&a$ state i" *hi#h the a" a"d *o a" ay be. If both are at the o e"t hot. if the body is ready *ith its a oro&s f$&ids. ea#h s&%%esti1e 3&estio" a"d a"s*er adds to the heat of #&"t a"d ba$$o#ks. 7oth of &s *ere. I thi"k. &#h "eedi"% a oro&s de$i%hts that day. @&st the" y frie"d #a e i" a"d stopped a p$easa"t #o"1ersatio". she $eft a"d *e ta$ked abo&t her. ,e said she *as a $ady. a"d f&rther o". 2 4)h. *o e" are a ystery i" se!&a$ atters. tho&6 sa"ds I( #o"1i"#ed do *itho&t a a$e for years *he" $eft *ido*s. *hi$st *e *o&$d"(t. #o&$d"(t *ait a *eek.4 2 ,is professio" 2 fro *hi#h he(d retired 2 ade hi so e*hat of a" a&thority o" s&#h a s&b0e#t. I took a fa"#y to the $a"d$ady. y o$d frie"d had take" a fa"#y to the %ir$ 2 a s*eet o"e rese b$i"% her other *ho "e!t ti e bro&%ht her i"to y frie"d(s roo at his re3&est. The %ir$. *ho *as rea$$y bea&tif&$. y frie"d treated pater"a$$y. the $a"d$ady *ith #o&rtesy. keepi"% her "e1erthe$ess *e$$ at a dista"#e. I $ooked "e!t ti e at her a"d she at e. a"d a 1o$&pt&o&s thri$$ ra" thro y pe%o as I tho&%ht of her hidde" bea&ties. She #o$ored &p a"d $ooked f&$$y i" y eyes. I ha1e a$*ays tho&%ht that $&st is #o &"i#ab$e bet*ee" a" a"d *o a". by $ook or by to&#h. a"d be$ie1ed she a$so had a 1o$&pt&o&s thri$$. +id she see i" y eyes $&st for her. or did she a%"eti#a$$y i"f&se her $&st i"to e. by her eyes/ ;itho&t pre1io&s i"te"tio". soo" after I #a$$ed at a ti e *he" y frie"d *as o&t. She ope"ed the door a"d re arked that her ser1a"t had %o"e o&t *ith her $itt$e %ir$. a"d she *as 0&st the" *itho&t a"other ser1a"t. I *a$ked i"to his roo to *ait. she re arki"% that I i%ht ha1e to *ait $o"%. L&st #rept thro e the" rap6id$y as I eyed her. a"d *ith i"sti"#t sa* #ha"#e of possessi"% her. I be%a" the for er #o"1ersatio". ho* hard to be $eft *itho&t a bedfe$$o*. did she #&dd$e the bo$ster/ )"d so o". She &st ake the best of it for she *as $eft #o fortab$y off. she rep$ied. 7&t I kept to the $oss of a bedfe$$o*. %rad&a$$y she $a&%hed. her a"s*ers %ot 1a%&e. she see ed fid%ety. 4Take e for a $o1er.4 2 4Oh 2 $a* 2 *hat *o&$d yo&r frie"d say if he heard yo&/4 2 The" I #haffed her. a"d soo" after. 2 4I($$ take yo&r first f$oor.4 2 4;o&$d yo& $ike to see the /4 2 4Yes.4 2 ;e *e"t there. she pre#edi"% e. 4;hat a s*eet $itt$e foot I see yo& ha1e.4 2 4Oh. ha1e I/4 I" the roo I #haffed a $itt$e ore s&%%esti1e$y. for y pri#k stiffe"ed as I sa* the bed. 4Oh that bed. I($$ take the roo s4 2 I(d "o idea of doi"% so 2 4b&t sha$$ %o &p a"d s$eep *ith yo&.4 2 4Oh9 I the" sha"(t $et the to yo&.4 2 she rep$ied $a&%hi"%. 2 4I &st ha1e a kiss the".4 2 She ade a fai"t resista"#e b&t she *as %ratified. a"d I kissed her a%ai" a"d a%ai". 2 4Meet e this e1e"i"%.4 2 4)h. "o. i possib$e.4 2 I #a&%ht her ro&"d the *aist. p&$$ed her be$$y to i"e. *ri%%$ed it there. a"d kissed her. 2 4Oh do"(t. y ser1a"t ay #o e i".4 2 4I( dyi"% for yo&.4 said I. a"d &#h ore. y $&st %ro*i"% stro"%er. y re#k$ess"ess i"#reasi"%. 4Let e %o.4 2 4I *o"(t.4 a"d I 0o%%ed y be$$y a%ai"st hers. 2 4'o* do.4 2 Giss e the".4 2 4There.4 2 She kissed e a"d I $et her %o 2 her fa#e *as s#ar$et. her eyes h& id. a"d i"sti"#t said to eI 4She(s ready for f&#ki"%.4
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@&st the" *as a "oise i" the street. boys sho&ti"%. 4;hat(s that/4 said she. 7oth *e"t to the fro"t. a"d sa* a %ro&p of boys ro&"d a #o&p$e of do%s *ho *ere f&#ki"%. She t&r"ed a*ay at o"#e. her eyes et i"e #aressi"%$y. 4Let &s do *hat the do%s are doi"%.4 2 4Oh9 Sir94 7&t her eyes *ere $&stf&$. the si%ht of #op&$atio" had f&rther stirred $&st a$ready i" her. 4;i$$ yo& %o do*" "o*/4 2 4'o. $et e $ook at the bedroo a%ai".4 'e!t i"&te by the side of the bed I p&$$ed o&t y stiff sta"dard. 4+ear Mrs. H H H. $et e. I( dyi"% for yo&.4 2 4Oh do"(t "o*. for :od(s sake 2 do"(t4 2 as I stooped a"d %ot y ha"ds o" to her thi%hs. 2 4Oh9 'o* do"(t.4 2 7&t y fi"%ers *ere *ithi" the $ips of a fat #&"t. #risp a"d thi#k *as the hairy or"a e"t aro&"d it. I titi$$ated it. 2 4'o 2 I *o"(t 2 "o. pray do"(t.4 2 I #a&%ht her ha"d. p$a#ed it ro&"d y pe%o. a"d #$aspi"% her to e kissed her rapt&ro&s$y. She *as %etti"% $e*eder. a%ai" I stooped to %et y ha"ds &p her #$othes. she stooped to pre1e"t e 2 so ethi"% #ra#ked. 4There. I(1e broke" y stay bo"e.4 That di1erted her for a se#o"d. I p&shed her b& a%ai"st the bed. p&$$ed &p her #$othes. a"d a%ai" so&%ht the "ot#h. 2 L&st had 1a"3&ished her. her thi%hs separated. a"d sayi"%. 4'o 2 "o 2 "o.4 y pri#k e"tered her #&"t. a"d sta"di"% *ith her b& a%ai"st the bed I f&#ked her. C$aspi"% her ha"dso e bi% b&tto#ks o&r to"%&es et. rapid$y o1ed &p a"d do*" y pri#k. o&t shot y sp&"k. a"d a de$&%e #a e fro her hot 3&i as i" the rapt&res of the #risis *e spe"t to%ether. f$oodi"% ea#h other(s or%a"s *ith i"%$ed spe"di"%s. E"er1ated. disso$1i"% *ith p$eas&re. ha$f dead *ith 1o$&pt&o&s de$i%ht. *e re ai"ed 0oi"ed. o&r to"%&es sti$$ eeti"%. ti$$ s&dde"$y she p&shed e off. 4Oh9 Let e %o. I sha$$ be *ith #hi$d.4 O&t of the roo she r&shed. y pri#k f$oppi"% do*". o&r spe"di"%s had a$6 ost dro*"ed y ba$$s. so #opio&s had it bee". I" a i"&te or t*o she ret&r"ed. 2 4Oh. yo& *i#ked a". *hat ha1e yo& ade e do/ 2 I fe$t I do"(t k"o* *hat 2 I feared yo& *he" I first sa* yo&.4 2 4'e1er i"d y dear. it *o"(t be o&r $ast p$eas&re.4 2 4It *i$$. tho.4 said she 3&ite serio&s$y. 2 7&t I *as ri%ht. 2 My frie"d did"(t ret&r" for a $o"% ti e. she sat *ith e i" the 3&iet *ay a #o&p$e do after f&#ki"%. e!pressi"% her re%rets a"d fears. sayi"%. 4,&sh 2 h&sh.4 to the ba&dy ta$k *hi#h I i"d&$%ed i". 2 S&#h ta$k is de$i#io&s *ith a fresh *o a" *ho(s "ot a str& pet 2 a"d I ta$ked ti$$ y pri#k stiffe"ed. I praised her b&tto#ks. her #&"t. her f&#ki"%. a"d a$$ she had. prod&#ed y ri%id pri#k a%ai". she fe$t it &"der y pro ise that I(d the" $ea1e off a"d %o 2 pro ise I(d "ot the s$i%htest i"te"tio" of keepi"%. 2 I" a i"&te I *as fri%%i"% that fat a"d *e$$ haired 3&i a%ai". *hi$st sti$$ she ha"d$ed y pe%o. 4'o dear. o" the bed this ti e.4 I" a i"&te #o#k a"d #&"t *ere o"e. a"d the +i1i"e f&"#tio" of f&#ki"% *e"t o". 2 4I"#rease a"d &$tip$y4 is the $a*. the +i1i"e #o a"d. a"d that ea"s f&#ki"%. therefore is f&#ki"% +i1i"e. ,er #&"t she speedi$y a%ai" *ashed. b&t y pri#k a"d ba$$s retai"ed o&r a atory oo-i"%s. for she(d o"$y ti e to p&sh the bed i"to shape. a"d *e to %et to y frie"d(s roo . before he ra"% the be$$. She ope"ed the door. 2 4Yo&r
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frie"d. Sir. has 0&st #o e.4 said she $o&d$y. 2 4,o* d(ye do 2 I tho&%ht I sho&$d 0&st #at#h yo&.4 said I to hi . +ire#t$y after that the ser1a"t re6t&r"ed. I(d bee" there a" ho&r a"d ha$f a$to%ether. a"d sed&#tio" a"d t*o f&#ks *ere do"e i" "i"ety i"&tes. ;e *ere both ra"dy *he" *e et. a"d he"#e y $&#k. it #o&$d "ot ha1e bee" a#hie1ed other*ise. a"d the" the $&#k he$p of those do%s sti#ki"% r& p to r& p. 7east tho they *ere. it sti &$ated o&r $&st. 2 C&ite i" y yo&th. I re#o$$e#t y first $o1e Char$otte a"d I sa* t*o do%s doi"% it. a"d a$ ost dire#t$y after*ards *e f&#ked. I #a$$ed "e!t day. y frie"d *as o&t. the ser1a"t ope"ed the door. the $itt$e %ir$ she*ed herse$f o" the stairs. 2 4)re yo& %oi"% for a *a$k. y $itt$e dar$i"%/4 2 47ye a"d bye *ith Ma a. *he" MHHH has had his $&"#heo".4 2 4Te$$ yo&r a a I($$ *ait a bit.4 2 Ser1a"t a"d #hi$d disappeared. a"d soo" after i" #a e the $ady. 2 4Let &s.4 2 4'o 2 "o ore. "e1er 2 "e1er.4 2 M&#h pers&asio". 2 4Let e o"$y fee$ it.4 2 She ref&sed b&t I did. Oh9 that fee$ of a #&"t. *hat effe#t it has at o"#e o" e 2 y too$ *as stiff. *as sho*". 2 4I #a"(t. I &st"(t. I *o"(t 2 ho* #a" *e "o*/4 4;e #a" a%ai"st the *a$$.4 2 She *as a *o a" of %ood hei%ht. f&#ki"% her &pri%ht *as "ot &"6easy. 24>ro ise e the" yo&($$ "ot do it i" e.4 2 I pro ised. yet $eft y sp&"k at the 1ery botto of her #&"t a%ai". ;e(d f&#ked a%ai"st the *a$$. it(s so e years si"#e I(1e do"e so. The" for so e *eeks I had her at i"ter1a$s. She arra"%ed fro ti e to ti e to %et ser1a"t a"d #hi$d o&t. I k"e* *he" y frie"d *o&$d be o&t. a"d he "e1er s&spe#ted a"ythi"%. She et e i" Lo"do". a"d *e spe"t ha$f days i" bed to%ether "aked. She o*"ed to the a%e I(d %&essed her. 2 I(d spe"t o&tside her #&"t t*o or three ti es. b&t her #o&rses #a e o". she *as "ot e"#ei"te. a"d he"#eforth fear$ess$y *e f&#ked. She *as a s&perb ta$$ *o a". had a 1ery hairy otte. b&t her #&"t f&$$ $ipped a"d %ro*" o&tside *as as ti%ht as a *o a"(s of t*e"ty 2 her thi%hs a"d b&tto#ks *ere s&perb. her f$esh *hite. her se!&a$ p$eas&re %reat i" y e bra#es. I %a1e her a" address to *rite to. y rea$ "a e a"d address she k"e*. ;e et a%ai" a"d her first *ords *ere. 2 4Yo&(1e %ot e *ith #hi$d. y #o&rses ha1e stopped. I k"e* yo&(d do it. *hat sha$$ I do/4 This *as &"fort&"ate "e*s. b&t the diffi#&$ty *as %ot o1er. She *o&$d "e1er eet e a%ai" &"$ess I so$e "$y pro ised "ot to spe"d i" her. That *as a $oss of p$eas&re. for the dis#har%e of sper i" the #&"t. *he" the #&"t is at its ti%htest %rip. is the s&b$i est o e"t of e!iste"#e. a"d *ithdra*i"% "either s&ited her 1o$&pt&o&s tastes "or i"e. ;e #eased eeti"%. i"deed at ei%hty i$es apart it *as a$6 ost i possib$e. a"d #orrespo"de"#e the" dropped. Years after she *as sti$$ i" the sa e ho&se. a"d &sed to ask after e of y o$d frie"d. *ho *e"t there year$y. 2 O"e day he *rote e she *as %oi"% to arry. 2 She had s*or" by a$$ that *as ho$y that she(d "e1er had a a" b&t her h&sba"d a"d yse$f. If it had"(t bee" for seei"% the do%s f&#ki"% perhaps I "e1er sho&$d ha1e had her5 b&t *ho k"o*s/
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She(d had three #hi$dre". her be$$y sho*" si%"s. the $itt$e %ir$ o"$y *as a$i1e. I" the opi"io" of y frie"d a"d yse$f she(d $i1ed *ith a a" *ho had %i1e" her the ho&se a"d a" a""&ity. 2 ;e$$ off for her #$ass she #ertai"$y *as. a"d 1ery *e$$ beha1ed a"d &#h of a $ady. I( s&re she(d "e1er bee" har$ot. Fo%%y *eather is propitio&s to a atory #apri#es. ,ar$ots te$$ e that they &s&a$$y do %ood b&si"ess d&ri"% the state of at osphere. espe#ia$$y those *ho are re%&$ar "y phs of the pa1e. a"d *ho do"(t i"d e!er#ise i" the ope" air. Ti id e" the" %et bo$d a"d speak to *o e" *he" they other*ise *o&$d "ot. That is y o*" e!perie"#e a$so. a"d re#o$$e#t %oi"% a$o"% a ai" street o" o"e s&#h "i%ht. a##osti"% "ear$y e1ery o"e i" petti#oats. a"d fe$t si! or ei%ht #&"ts *ithi" a" ho&r at a shi$$i"% a fee$. fe$t ti$$ I had"(t a"y si$1er $eft a"d perfor#e $eft off th&s a &si"% yse$f. O" a fo%%y "i%ht. a fair$y si-ed fe a$e a"d a yo&"% %ir$ *hose treb$e $a&%h I heard before I sa* the . approa#hed. 2 4My dear. I($$ %i1e yo& a shi$$i"% to fee$ yo&r #&"t.4 2 4)$$ ri%ht.4 said she. %oi"% #$ose to the *a$$ to be as &#h as possib$e o&t of the traffi#. tho there *as s#ar#e$y a"y o"e abo&t. it bei"% $atish. I fi"%ered the hairy "ot#h a"d ro&"d her thi%hs a"d b& *hi#h fe$t so$id a"d asked her a%e. 4'i"etee". *hy do"(t yo& ha1e e/ There(s a ho&se #$ose by. I thi"k I #a" fi"d it.4 2 I de#$i"ed. 2 4Fee$ her #&"t. she(s "o hair o" it.4 said the do!y. 'e!t i"&te I had o"e fi"%er o" a soft s ooth $itt$e sp$it. 2 )$$ had "ot o##&pied fi1e i"&tes. peop$e passed. took "o "oti#e of &s. i" fa#t did"(t see &s. a"d h&rried a$o"% to %et ho e e!#epti"% the >aphia"s. a"d those *ho $ike yse$f *ere a &si"% the se$1es i" 1erifyi"% the se! of those i" petti#oats. 4,a1e yo& bee" f&#ked/4 said I to the $itt$e o"e. 4Yes.4 she rep$ied $a&%hi"%. 2 The e$der repeated her i"1itatio" addi"%. 2 4;e($$ both be "aked.4 2 4Fi1e shi$$i"%s/4 2 4)$$ ri%ht. b&t yo&($$ %i1e her so ethi"% if she(s "aked. a"d if yo& do her.4 2 4Certai"$y. fi1e shi$$i"%s for her.4 2 I" a fe* i"&tes *e *ere i" a k"o#ki"% shop ti$$ the" &"k"o*" to e. a poor p$a#e. pri#e of roo three shi$$i"%s. b&t there *as a bed. %ood fire a"d %as $i%ht. They *ere a poor. shabbi$y dressed #o&p$e. as I %&essed they *o&$d be fro their a""ers a"d 1oi#es. yet both had #$ea"ish #he ises a"d sto#ki"%s. 2 ,ar6$ots %e"era$$y a"a%e to ha1e those #$ea" ho*e1er i"6differe"t the rest of their to%%ery ay be. 2 The e$der *ho said she *as o"$y "i"etee". had a $ar%ish #$eft. a f&rro* *ith a" &%$y b&"#h of "y phae at the &pper e"d. b&t *as sto&t a"d fir . E!a i"i"% her be$$y. 2 4Yo&(1e had a #hi$d.4 2 4Yes. t*o.4 2 4Li1i"%/4 2 4O"e. :od b$ess it.4 2 4I( sorry for it.4 2 4I ai"(t.4 2 The" I ade the $itt$e o"e strip to her #he ise. She *as o"e of the s a$$est %ir$s I(1e had. a"d thi". b&t fi"%eri"% her rea$$y pretty $itt$e hair$ess s$it. stiffe"ed y pi--$e. a"d she p$ayed *ith it k"o*i"%$y e"o&%h. The" I %a1e the both %i" *hi#h the e$der had asked for. a"d the $itt$e pi"k s$ash p$eased e ore a"d ore. 2 'ot a si%" of do*" e1e" *as o" it.

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B8

VOLUME 11

I "e1er k"o* *hat $et#h *i$$ spri"% &p i" e *he" *ith *o e". Seei"% the e$der(s poppy topped #&"t I tho&%ht of 4f$at f&#ki"%4 a"d asked her if she did it. It(s stra"%e that she did"(t &"dersta"d the *ord. or professed "ot. a"d *he" I e!p$ai"ed. 2 4Oh9 ;e #a$$ it 2 f&#ki"% 'a""y.4 2 a ter I "e1er heard before or si"#e. $a&%hi"% hearti$y at y 3&estio" a"d repeati"% 4F$at f&#ki"%. ho 2 ho 2 f$at f&#ki"%. is it/ +i"ah a"d I does it to keep o&rse$1es *ar so eti es. *e s$eep to%ether. do"(t *e +i/4 2 4Yes.4 #h&#k$ed she. 2 4%i1e e yo&r ha"dker#hief.4 The $itt$e a"i a$ had a beast$y #o$d i" her head 2 I did"(t be$ie1e her a"d ade the sho* e ho* they did it. They(d "o odesty abo&t it a"d posed the se$1es *itho&t de$ay. the $itt$e o"e $aid o" the e$der. ope" k"o*i"%$y her $itt$e s$it. a"d #$osed it o" the b&"#h of #ri so" "y phae. a"d #$itoris of the bi% o"e as far as I #o&$d see. The $itt$e hair$ess #$eft i"deed sho*ed &"&s&a$ si%"s of de1e$op e"t of "y phae. $ike her sister(s 2 for sister she *as. 2 4+o yo& both ha1e p$eas&re/4 2 4I do *he" I *a"t it.4 said she. p&tti"% herse$f o" the bedside. I did"(t keep the at their %a e. they separated their 3&i s. a"d the" I fri%%ed the $itt$e o"e as she sat o" y k"ee. ti$$ she said she sho&$d spe"d. 2 her sister $ooki"% o" a"d fee$i"% y #o#k. 4I($$ f&#k yo&.4 said I to the bi% o"e. 2 4)$$ ri%ht. I *a"t it.4 said she. p&tti"% herse$f o" the besdide. I $aid the $itt$e o"e beside her. aki"% her ho$d her $itt$e po&ti"% #&"t $ips apart. *he" a desire for her s&dde"$y spra"% &p. poor. ski""y $itt$e #reat&re tho she *as. 2 4I($$ f&#k her. is she a$$ ri%ht/4 2 4Yes. she(s a$$ ri%ht. f&#k e first.4 2 4'o.4 2 4The %e"t *a"ts to do e.4 2 #ried the $itt$e o"e sharp$y. Fear of #$ap s&dde"$y #a e o1er e. a"d fee$i"% i" y po#ket I prod&#ed te" shi$$i"%s i" si$1er. te$$i"% the at the sa e ti e that it *as theirs. b&t "ot to $et e poke if they had their #o&rses o". I a$*ays %i1e *o e" that opport&"ity for e!#&se. 4:i1e it a$$ e. I keeps her.4 2 said the e$der a"!io&s$y a"d %rabbi"% it. 4;e(re a$$ ri%ht. both of &s. she ai"(t bee" t&#ked for a *eek. do e first a"d her after.4 They had both sat &p. I p&shed the ba#k a%ai". a"d i"serted y s*o$$e" pe%o i" the $itt$e o"e. It *as a ti%ht fit b&t her #&"t took it a$$ &p. a"d $eis&re$y I f&#ked her. the" stopped. #o"te p$ati"% y pri#k. o1i"% i" a"d o&t &"der that $itt$e be$$y a"d e"#$osed by the $itt$e p&ffy $ips. 2 4Oh/ :o o" 2 I sha$$ do it 2 do"(t 2 stop.4 said the $ass *ho *as b&t thirtee". a"d be%a" os#i$$ati"% her b&tto#ks 1i%oro&s$y. dri1i"% her #&"t &p to e. a"d I fe$t her a1e"&e stiffe"i"% a"d %rippi"% ro&"d y staff. The "o1e$ty of the si%ht a"d the de$i%ht at her ra"dy i patie"#e fet#hed e dire#t$y. o&t b&bb$ed y sper . as her $itt$e #&"t %a1e o&t its s$ippery 0&i#es to i! *ith i"e. ,er $itt$e #&"t $oose"ed as a$$ #&"ts do after a spe"d. b&t the f&#k had so p$eased e I s&ppose. that y pri#k kept stiffish a"d *e$$ &p her. She $ay *ith eyes #$osed i" f&$$ se"s&o&s e"0oy e"t of o&r #op&$atio". $ooked as if she *ere as$eep i" the $&s#io&s a""ihi$atio" of her spe"d. yo&"% as she *as. I stood #o"te p$ati"% her. her sister $ay si$e"t$y $ooki"% o" a"d t*idd$i"% her "y phae. )t $e"%th. 4+o yo& $ike f&#ki"%/4 2 4Rather.4 said the $itt$e o"e.
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MY SECRET LIFE

0&st $ike a"y f&$$ %ro*" str& pet. 2 4She(s %ot a hot $itt$e arse.4 re arked her sister %etti"% oO the bed. a"d he$pi"% herse$f to ore %i". 2 Sti$$ y pri#k $i"%ered i" the $&bri#io&s a1e"&e. tho the de$i#ate. 1o$&pt&o&s shri"ki"% of the tip i" the &#i$a%e had be%&". 4,o* $o"% ha1e yo& bee" f&#ked/4 2 4) year. I thi"k.4 2 4Yes. a year.4 2 said her sister. 2 4,o* &#h did yo& %et for it/4 2 4'othi"%. *&ss $&#k. a b&%aboo of a boy she k"o*ed did it. a"d she $et hi $ike a b$oody $itt$e foo$.4 2 broke i" the e$der. risi"%. I sa* that she *as %etti"% ti%ht. for I(d se"t for a bott$e of %i" a"d she *as dri"ki"% it rapid$y. 4+o"(t dri"k so &#h. yo&($$ %et dr&"k.4 2 4It *i$$ keep o&t the #o$d a"d it(s "o %ood a$ea1i"% it.4 2 4Yo& ay take it a*ay *ith yo&.4 2 4Oh tha"kee 2 sha$$ *e dress/ 2 ;o"(t yer f&#k e first/4 'o* that y p$eas&re *as o1er their 1&$%arity of6fe"ded e. 2 4'o. I #a"(t.4 2 4Yo& #a" i" a $itt$e if yo& try.4 2 4+o yo& *a"t it/4 2 4Yes. it a$*ays ake e *he" I sees +i f&#ked. I( 3&ite #$ea" 2 do it.4 2 I #a"(t bear to $ea1e a #&"t &"f&#ked *he" at ha"d. there is a %$a o&r abo&t the red sp$it at a$$ ti es. b&t spe#ia$$y *he" y s#rot& (s ti%ht a"d f&$$. a"d tho I did"(t "o* *a"t it. her desire for it e1oked 1o$&pt&o&s ideas. 2 >idd$i"% a"d the" *ashi"% y pe%o. 2 4I(1e "o ore o"ey.4 2 4'e1er i"d. f&#k e.4 2 4It(s "ot stiff. Yo& &st s&#k it the".4 2 4)$$ ri%ht.4 said she. k"ee$i"% do*" a"d #aressi"% the tip. @&st the" #a e a k"o#k at the door a"d a 1oi#e said. 2 4Sha$$ yo& be $o"%. Sir/4 2 4;e ai"(t bee" $o"%.4 said the %a ah&#her a"%ri$y. 2 4I($$ pay a%ai".4 I sho&ted. 2 4+o"(t do that. %ie it to e. *e ai"(t bee" $o"%.4 2 7&t the brothe$ keeper had %o"e a*ay. 2 4;hat a pity. she a$*ays tries o" that %a e.4 said the %ir$. a%ai" p&tti"% y pe%o i" her o&th. The 0&1e"i$e *ho *as *ashi"% her $itt$e #&"t. the" #a e a"d be%a" he$pi"% herse$f to %i". 2 4Yo& sha"(t ha1e a"y ore. yo&($$ be dr&"k.4 said the e$dest %ir$ %etti"% &p a"d pre1e"ti"% her. 2 They s3&abb$ed. b&t she %a1e the $itt$e o"e ha$f a %$ass a"d the" res& ed s&#ki"% y pe%o. The $itt$e o"e $aid o" the bed a%ai" s&ffi#ie"t$y "ear for e to see a$$. a"d I p&t y fi"%er &p her fresh *ashed 3&i . The e$der at $e"%th by o&th a"d to"%&e ro&sed y pri#k to stiff"ess. a"d sayi"%. 2 4There.4 *ith a s i$e. thre* herse$f o" the bedside *ith ope" thi%hs. 7&t y ere#tio" *as te porary. the $ook of her poppy topped 3&i did"(t p$ease e. a"d it s&b6sided. The $itt$e o"e $a&%hed thereat a"d the e$der res& ed her %a ah&#hi"%. *hi$st a%ai" I sat o" the #hair. 7&t a"other *hi #a e. a"d taki"% the $itt$e o"e(s b& o" y "aked thi%h. I a%ai" be%a" fri%%i"% her. 4I($$ ake yo& spe"d. *he" did yo& fri% yo&rse$f $ast/4 2 4Yesterday or"i"%. Sir.4 2 4+id yo&/4 2 4She 0&st did.4 said the e$der. he$pi"% herse$f to %i" a%ai". 2 4I($$ break that bott$e if yo& take a"y ore.4 a"d re$i"3&ishi"% the $itt$e $o1e #ra#k. I %ot &p a"d p&t the bott$e o" the a"te$ pie#e. 2 She $a&%hed. a"d sayi"%. 4:i" a$*ays ser1es e o&t 3&i#k.4 s3&atted o" the pot. I stooped a"d took the #atara#t o" y ha"d 2 that stiffe"ed e. she $a&%hed *he" she sa* it. 2 4F&#k e "o*.4 said she. $ayi"% ho$d of y too$.
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VOLUME 11

7&t I *o&$d"(t. a"d res& ed fri%%i"% the $itt$e o"e *ho took the ast&rbatio" i" 1o$&pt&o&s si$e"#e. ti$$ her thi%hs t*it#hed a $itt$e. 4Te$$ e *he" yo&(re #o i"%.4 2 She ade "o rep$y for a *hi$e. the" 2 4It(s a #o i"( 2 "o*. aha 2 aha.4 she si%hed. a$ ost i"6a&dib$y. a"d fro the tre &$o&s otio" of her $itt$e b& a"d thi%hs. the %e"era$ 3&i1eri"%. a"d the" 3&iet"ess of her *ho$e #&"ta$ re%io". I k"e* she(d spe"t. b&t said as for so e reaso" I &s&a$$y do *he" a *o a"(s fri%%ed herse$f. 4Yo& ha1e"(t spe"t.4 4I($$ s*ear she ha1e.4 said the e$der *ho(d bee" *at#hi"% &s. I p&shed her o" the bed. p&t y fi"%er &p the $itt$e 3&i a"d fo&"d it ore $&bri#io&s tha" it had bee" fi1e i"&tes before. My pri#k stood $ike iro" at that. a"d p&$$i"% her by her thi%hs to the beds ed%e. p$&"%ed it hard &p her. 2 4Ohoo9 f&#k e.4 #ried the e$der i" disappoi"ted to"e. 7&t the $et#h for the hair$ess #&"t *as o" e. I ra ed as 1io$e"t$y as I #o&$d. $o"%i"% to hit her *o b porta$s 2 y pri#k see ed far stiffer tha" before. 2 4,o9 yo& h&rts.4 #ried she. ,arder tha" e1er the" I thr&st. a"d fe$t y pri#k at ea#h p&sh ba"%i"% hard a%ai"st the botto of her *o b. I *as de$i%hted at h&rti"% her. 2 4,oo. 2 do"(t.4 a"d she dre* her b& a $itt$e ba#k. a 1ery $itt$e. for I he$d her $ike a 1i#e a"d she *as he$p$ess. 7a"% *e"t y pe%o sti$$. 4Oho 2 oho.4 she #ried o&t. y arseho$e ti%ht6 e"ed *ith the e0a#&$ati"% p$eas&re. I spe"t a"d *as 3&iet 0&st i" ti e to see her sister fi"ish fri%%i"% her6se$f. *hi#h she(d do"e. e!#ited by the ba&dy a &se e"ts. The" I $eft &#h de$i%hted. a"d a"y a ti e y pri#k stood after*ards *he" I tho&%ht of that fo%%y e1e"i"%(s ad1e"t&re. a"d the ski""y. hair$ess #&"ted $itt$e *hore 2 o"e of the yo&"%est I(1e f&#ked. I" a rai$*ay #arria%e i" Lo"do" o" o"e or"i"% i" *i"ter. as *e approa#hed H H H H. the passe"%ers %ot o&t $ea1i"% e a$o"e *ith a short *e$$6dressed *o a" $ooki"% abo&t thirty6fi1e years. 2 She had bee" $ooki"% at e a$ ost #o"ti"&o&s$y for a 3&arter of a" ho&r. *hi#h ade e $ook at her 2 for she *as %ood $ooki"% 2 a"d dire#t$y *e *ere a$o"e she spoke abo&t the *eather. a"d 1ery short$y to$d e she *as a dress aker. O" that a $itt$e #o"1ersatio" e"s&ed. *he" she re arked that it *as diffi#&$t for the %ir$s to dress a"d ake a $i1i"% o&t of their *a%es. a"d if %ood $ooki"% they *o&$d"(t5 a"d she s i$ed si%"ifi#a"t$y. I a$so s i$ed. a"d *as i"#$i"ed to be$ie1e that she *as aki"% ad1a"#es o" her o*" beha$f. *he" she asked if I k"e* HHHH Street. a"d rep$yi"% that I did. she to$d e the "& ber of her shop. aski"% e to #a$$ a"d try o" her %$o1es. She so$d %e"t$e e"(s %$o1es a"d #ra1ats 2 "othi"% ore for %e"t$e e" 2 for she *as a dress6 aker. )t o"#e I set her do*" as a pro#&ress. a"d 3&estio"ed her #$ose$y. 2 Yes. she had so e pretty %ir$s *orki"% for her. she(d ha1e "o"e b&t pretty o"es. 4Co e a"d b&y a #ra1at or %$o1es.4 2 a"d I #o&$d see the . 4;hat(s the %ood of seei"% a"d $o"%i"%/4 4Oh if yo& $o"%. I($$ see *hat I #a" do for yo&.4 2 The" I heard that they *ere a$$ 3&ite respe#tab$e. b&t %ir$s *o&$d be f$i%hty. a"d she shie$ded the fro tro&b$e. )t o"#e I sa* a$$ this *as ere #a"t. that she %ot pretty %ir$s to *ork for her. a"d if she %ot a #ha"#e. so$d the pretty %ir$s. a"d
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perhaps this 0o&r"ey i" a rai$*ay #arria%e *as her ode of i"trod&#i"% her b&si"ess. 2 4I s&ppose yo& ha1e so e o"e o$der tha" yo& i" the b&si"ess.4 2 'o. she had"(t. 2 4,a1e yo& %ot the ad6dress/4 2 I $ooked at the #ard o" *hi#h I had *ritte" it. 2 4Yes.4 4;i$$ yo& #o e/4 4>erhaps. a"d $iste".4 I p&t y o&th to her ear for I fe$t "o* o" s&re %ro&"d. 4a"d perhaps I($$ f&#k yo&.4 4Oh yo& 1&$%ar fe$$o*. this is y statio".4 2 a"d 3&i#k$y she %ot o&t. $eeri"% at e as she a$i%hted. The eeti"% *ith this pro#&ress is o"e of the ost si"%&$ar e1e"ts of y $ife. )$tho I(d had y f&" i" ta$ki"% abo&t f&#ki"% *ith her. I(d "ot the s$i%htest i"te"tio" of %oi"% to her shop to b&y %$o1es. yet the eeti"% ha&"ted e. I #o&$d"(t he$p thi"ki"% abo&t it. a"d the idea of f&#ki"% a ha"dso e %ir$ *ho. *hi$st *orki"% at dress aki"%. yet o" the s$y %ot her #&"t stret#hed a"d $&bri#ated. p$eased e. I i%ht %o a"d see her I tho&%ht. there #o&$d be "ot &#h har i" that. 2 The" that she *as a *o a" #apab$e of $ayi"% traps for e" o##&rred to e. a"d I hesitated. 7&t it e"ded o"e after6"oo" at "ear$y si! o#(#$o#k. i" y %oi"% there. The shop *as i" a street *hi#h tho a side o"e. *as o"e of fair traffi#. so e o "ib&ses e1e" passed thro it. a"d the o&tside $ooked a$$ ri%ht. It *as d&sk. the %as *as $i%hted. a"d i" a roo at the ba#k of the shop I sa* thro the *i"do* yo&"% *o e" at *ork. the %$a-ed partitio" bet*ee" it a"d the shop *as o"$y #o1ered by a tra"s6pare"t %a&-e #&rtai". thro *hi#h I fa"#ied I #o&$d disti"%&ish the *o a" I(d et i" the rai$*ay #arria%e 2 I e"tered the shop a"d she #a e o&t to e. She re#o%"i-ed e at o"#e. so$d e a pair of %$o1es. the" said. 4Co e a"d $ook at y yo&"% $adies.4 2 ;e approa#hed the %a&-e #&rtai". 4That(s a fi"e %ir$.4 said she of o"e sta"di"% &p 2 ) pretty $itt$e %ir$ had take" y fa"#y. 2 4)h. I do"(t k"o* abo&t her. b&t that other $itt$e %ir$ *ith dark eyes a"d f&$$ breasts. sitti"%. she($$ ake a" appoi"t e"t *ith yo&. :o o&t of the shop to the pri1ate door. ri"%. a"d I($$ ope" it. the" yo& #a" %o &pstairs a"d I($$ se"d her &p to yo& i" the fro"t roo . b&t be #aref&$. do"(t $et a$$ the yo&"% $adies k"o* that yo& k"o*.4 2 4Is there a bed/4 4Oh dear "o 2 she($$ ake a" appoi"t e"t to di"e *ith yo&. or to %o so e*here *ith yo& 2 yo& #a"(t do a"y6thi"% here 2 a"d yo&($$ %i1e e a fi1er.4 My eyes *ere ope"ed *ider sti$$. b&t tho&%ht I(d do as she to$d e. a"d soo" fo&"d yse$f i" the fro"t roo i" *hi#h *ere a"y dresses ha$f ade $ayi"% abo&t. 2 Miss HHHH #a e &p *ith e. #a&tio"ed e abo&t a$$ sorts of thi"%s. i" a *ay *hi#h she*ed e at o"#e that the #o i"% %ir$ k"e* a$$ abo&t it. tho do&bt$ess she(d p$ay the odest. It *as so. 2 4Oh. e!#&se e. sir. I *a"t this dress.4 4)h9 ho* pretty yo& are. I *a"t yo&.4 2 She s i$ed. I *as"(t %oi"% to p$ay a $o"% %a e *ith a k"o*i"% o"e. so said at o"#e I *ished she(d %i1e e a kiss. 2 4)h 2 "o. $ea1e e a$o"e.4 2 b&t she $et e. 2 4I(d $ike to s$eep *ith yo&.4 4)h 2 I s$eep at ho e *ith y pare"ts.4 4;here/4 2 She "a ed a distri#t. 2 4Co&$d"(t yo& eet e/4 2 Yes she *o&$d. a"d so 3&i#k$y did I #o e to the poi"t that her i""o#e"t a""er fair$y broke do*". )fter sayi"% that she *o&$d if I(d %i1e her a "e* dress. it #a e to her a%reei"% to three so1erei%"s to b&y the dress. b&t I
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*as "ot to te$$ Miss HHH *ho she(d te$$ I *as r&de a"d she(d ha1e "othi"% to do *ith e. The tra"spare"#y of the affair ade e $a&%h. I %ot her "a e 2 a Sophy so ethi"% 2 ade a" appoi"t e"t 2 a"d the" said. 4;e$$ y dear Sophy. for to6 orro* at HHHH A o(#$o#k to a se#o"d. b&t "o* I($$ %i1e yo& a so1erei%" to fee$ yo&r #&"t at o"#e.4 'ot a $oose *ord had I said before. 4Oh.4 said she ha&%hti$y. 4yo& take e for a street *a$ker b&t I ai"(t.4 a"d she see ed 1ery &#h offe"ded. 2 4'o y dear I do"(t. or I sho&$d"(t propose to di"e *ith yo&. after di""er I sha$$ fee$ a"d see yo&r #&"t a"d f&#k it. so $et e fee$ it "o*.4 She b&rst o&t i"to a pea$ of $a&%hter a"d it e"ded i" y fee$i"% her #&"t. *hi#h I did &p a"d do*". a"d i" a"d o&t. fro #$itoris to b& ho$e. She took the so1erei%". *e"t off. a"d soo" reappeared Miss H H H H. *ho asked for her fee. a"d *as to$d I did"(t ea" to pay it. 2 4S&ppose the %ir$ does"(t #o e/4 4Yo& ay tr&st e.4 4>erhaps. b&t I do"(t k"o* yo&. so sha"(t. yo& &st thi"k e a foo$.4 4I tho&%ht yo& a %e"t$e6 a".4 said she a"%ri$y. 4the %ir$ sha"(t #o e.4 4)$$ ri%ht. do"(t $et her. I( "ot %oi"% to be foo$ed.4 a"d p&tti"% o" y hat I approa#hed the door. 2 4Stop a i"&te I($$ #o e *ith her the".4 4The" yo&($$ *ait ti$$ I(1e f&#ked her.4 4Yo&(re "o %e"t$e a". so e of the best i" the $a"d #o e to e.4 4)$$ ri%ht. #o e *ith her a"d I($$ see abo&t payi"% yo&.4 4I sha"(t. I #a"(t to orro*.4 4)"d I #a"(t the "e!t day.4 2 *hi#h she(d "a ed 2 I *e"t do*" stairs. 2 4Stop a i"&te 2 the o"e yo& sa* a"d $iked is a 1ir%i". %i1e e fifty po&"ds a"d yo& sha$$ ha1e her 1ery soo".4 4Ca"(t afford it.4 4;e$$ stop. if yo&(re a %e"t$e a".4 2 I *as the" "ear the botto of the stairs. b&t stopped. 2 4Yo& *o"(t ro&"d o" e/4 2 a #&"t ter for te$$i"% *hat is a se#ret a o"% thie1es. 4Certai"$y "ot. #o e to6 orro* 2 *e($$ di"e 2 yo& sha$$ di"e *ith &s. a"d dire#t$y I(1e f&#ked her. yo& sha$$ ha1e e!a#t$y *hat I($$ %i1e her 2 three so1erei%"s.4 4Yo&(re a dirty #ad a"d "ot a %e"t$e a".4 tossi"% her head a"d t&r"i"% her r& p to e she *e"t do*" stairs 2 I *e"t o&t a"d a*ay. The %ir$ *as ha"dso e. yo&"% a"d attra#ti1e. fresh #&"t a$*ays is. a"d she e1ide"t$y *as "ot 3&ite a professio"a$ har$ot. 2 My #o#k ere#ted itse$f *he" I tho&%ht abo&t her "e!t or"i"%. a"d i" the e1e"i"% I *e"t to the re"de-6 1o&s. b&t "either of the #a e. *hi#h stra"%e$y e"o&%h 1e!ed e. EI so&%ht the p$a#e "o ore. ha1i"% p$e"ty of other fish to try the". b&t o&t of #&riosity *e"t there abo&t fiftee" o"ths after. 2 The ho&se *as e pty a"d to $et.F

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Chapter N +is0e#ta e bra. 'e%ress di Medi#is. 7$a#k a"d *hite pi#t&res. 4Yo& do"(t f&#k &#h.4 Ei%ht o(#$o#k i" the or"i"%. T*o *o e" ta$ki"% i" a street. O"e take" a"d o"e $eft. ) trai" issed. ) #&"t hit. Three *eeks *itho&t f&#ki"%. ) priso"er(s *ife or istress/ )" e!perie"#ed har6$ot of fiftee". )" &%$y #&"t. Fri%. f&#k. b&%%er. a"d s&#k. seriati . ,er eroti# e!perie"#es a"d #&rio&s history. )t a $ap&"ar at the e!tre e so&th of Fra"#e I sa* the *o e" for se$e#tio". It *as i" the idd$e of he day a"d soo" after $&"#heo" 2 I "e1er #o&$d a##o&"t for y s&dde" $e#htes a"d had o"e "o*. )fter seei"% the $adies of the estab$ish e"t dishe1e$$ed a"d a$6 ost i" "i%ht%o*" attire. I fa"#ied "o"e of the . 2 4Is there "o $ady *ho speaks E"%$ish/4 4Yes. I speak $eet$e.4 2 It *as so $itt$e that I #o&$d"(t &"dersta"d a *ord she said. i" fa#t her E"%$ish #o"sisted i"I 4Ma #o"te 2 f&#kee o"e 2 preek 2 y $oo1e 2 a"d da ".4 2 4,a1e yo& a 'e%ress here/4 2 The istress. or &"der istress. rep$ied i" Fre"#h. 2 4)h "o. b&t i" fi1e i"&tes I fet#h o"e. a"d yo& sha$$ be #o"te"t. *e$$ #o"6te"t.4 I *aited for the darkie. ;hat ade e desire a 'e%ress I #a""ot i a%i"e. I had "ot before tho&%ht of ha1i"% o"e. a"d *he" I re63&ested o"e e1e" had "o desire for a b$a#k *o a". Lo"% a%o I had said to yse$f 4I sha$$ "e1er ha1e a 'e%ress a%ai".4 My #&riosity abo&t a darkie(s #&"t a"d a darkie(s f&#ki"% *as satisfied. 2 The tho&%ht. the *ish. the de a"d for o"e #a e i"sta"ta"eo&s$y. a"d *hi$st yesterday *aiti"% a"d f&rther ref$e#ti"%. I *o"dered at yse$f. 2 ,a1i"% to *ait $o"%. so $o"% I *as abo&t to order i" the fe a$e %ro&p a%ai". for se$e#tio". *he" *e$$ a"d ha"dso e$y dressed i" $ady(s #$othes. i" #a e a 'e%ress. I a##osted her. she rep$ied i" Fre"#h. a"d soo" after said. 4I $eeta$e speek e I"%$es.4 I"deed she spoke ore tha" a 4$eeta$ I"%$es.4 She spoke a %ood dea$. 4Sha$$ I street it 3&ite.4 4Yes4 2 a"d she did e!#epti"% *hite si$k sto#ki"%s. "atty boots. a"d ye$$o* %arters *ith $ar%e bo*s. *hi#h she #aref&$$y ad0&sted as if she tho&%ht they added i e"se$y to her bea&ty. There a b$a#k *o a". *ho said she *as t*e"ty6t*o a"d *ho did"(t $ook ore. stood before 6 e. as perfe#t i" for as the Ve"&s di Medi#is. b&t a $itt$e ta$$er. i"6deed I ay say fatter a"d ta$$er. 2 She *as 3&ite b$a#k. b&t there *as *hat ay be ter ed a" &"derto"e i" her ski" *hi#h re$ie1ed the b$a#k. a"d ade her $ook as if ade i" *hite arb$e a"d #o$ored after*ards. ,er eyes *ere E&ropea" i" e!pressio" tho 1ery dark. she had the pro%"atho&s 0a* of her ra#e <of the So&da" she said=. $ar%e o&th a"d f&$$ish $ips. bet*ee" *hi#h she*ed a set of teeth *hiter tha" i1ory. a"d so re%&$ar$y bea&tif&$ that they i%ht ha1e ser1ed for a" ad1erti-i"% de"tist(s %$ass #ase5 a"d so eho* the
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pro%"atho&s 0a* 2 &%$y i" itse$f to &s E&ropea"s 2 *as hidde" a"d for%otte" i" a #ertai" #o"to&r of head a"d fa#e. a"d I #eased to "oti#e this ra#ia$ feat&re. For the first ti e i" y $ife I thi"k. y pri#k ere#ted itse$f at a 'e%ress. 2 I ay ha1e bee" so *ith the before. b&t if at this i"&te I re#o$$e#t ri%ht$y. y pri#k "eeded a dea$ of #oa!i"% before it e"tered their #&"ts. I a to$d there are a"y tribes a"d i e"se 1arieties of fa#e a"d for i" the 'e%ro ra#e. 2 The" I posed her this *ay. that *ay. a"d sa* that i" e1ery *ay she *as perfe#t$y bea&tif&$ i" for . e!#epti"% i" ha1i"% $o"%ish hee$s a"d $ar%e feet. The" bet*ee" the #risp $itt$e #&r$s of the f&$$ $ips. *hi#h e"#$osed a"d for ed the #$eft *herei" her se!&a$ity $ay hidde" 2 a"d *hi#h i"deed are the o&t*ard a"d 1isib$e si%" of her se! 2 y idd$e fi"%er e"tered. a"d *he" I had fri%%ed a $itt$e odest #$itoris &#h $o"%er tha" she $iked 2 *a"ti"% this #hi$d of the tropi#s to spe"d *ith e. *a"ti"% her to e"0oy e 2 a"d *he" her bi% $ips et i"e. a"d to"%&e so&%ht to"%&e *ith soft de$i#io&s p$ay. she %e"t$y s oothed y pri#k *ith a soft ha"d. a"d I her #&"t ti$$ both o&r b&tto#ks t*it#hed a"d *rithed *ith i"#ipie"t p$eas&re. 2 The" she i patie"t$y 2 4Mais #heri. ette- $e 2 fookee e do"#.4 2 I p&shed y pri#k to the f&$$ depths of a $o1e$y #&"t. a"d f&#ked her. #o"te p$ati"% i" the bi% %$asses y *hite f$esh i"ter$a#i"% *ith her b$a#k. she s oothi"% a"d praisi"% y *hite ski". I her s ooth b$a#k b&tto#ks *hi#h I #$asped. 2 S ooth a"d hard as i1ory tho b$a#k 2 a"d the" she si%hed *ith e. her $e%s o1ed &p. #$osed o1er i"e. a"d *ith rapid thr&sts a"d hea1es. *e f&#ked ti$$ the paradise of h& a" se"satio" o1er*he$ ed &s. idst y %&shes of sper a"d her $&bri#io&s spe"di"%s. The 3&iet&de of 1o$&pt&o&s fati%&e the" #a e o1er &s. a"d *e $ay i" ea#h other(s ar s ti$$ I re#o1ered fro y se!&a$ fai"t"ess. the" *o"dered at the i"te"se e"0oy e"t I had had i" this 'e%ress( e bra#e. a"d $aid thi"ki"% of it by her side i" si$e"#e. 7&t "ot so she. She t&r"ed to e a"d kissed e #oa!i"%$y. 2 )sked if she p$eased e. 4Lookee the". yo& ha1e &#h fo&tre. I $ike fat fo&tre of E"%$ish a". yo& #a$$ it spo"k 2 ah. o&i.4 she said. )%ai" si$e"t a"d *ith see i"% satisfa#tio" she p&t her fi"%ers o" to her #&"t to fee$ its f&$$"ess a"d its o1erf$o*. 2 E"#o&ra%ed by her. I p&t y fi"%er there a"d fe$t that *e had i"%$ed $o1e(s f$&ids #opio&s$y. The" sti$$ *itho&t *ashi"% she $ay a"d #hatted %$ib$y. 1o$&"teeri"% "e*s abo&t her6se$f tho I(d "ot asked for it. 4My farder a"d &dder $if *ith Mo"sie&r H H H at Caire. 2 ) Fre"#h a" 2 y farder do de #ook. y &dder *ash de fa ie$ee.4 2 She *as '&bia". a"d of so e tribe the "a e of *hi#h I for%et. 2 4My farder a"d br&dder hab three s#ars #ross e" #heek. dat tr&e tribe ark.4 )$$ this *as said i" broke" E"%$ish i!ed *ith Fre"#h. b&t &#h better Fre"#h tha" E"%$ish. I %ot &p a"d *ashed as she did. a"d as her a p$e dark thi%hs a"d b& #$osed o" the basi" a"d she sp$ashed the *ater &p her red #ra#k. I $iked the $ook of her a"d $iked her p$eas&res. yet *as sti$$ asto"ished at yse$f for y de$i%ht i" f&#ki"% the Ma#kie. 2 Is there a"y reaso" for this $iki"% *hi#h ofte" ti es arises bet*ee" a" a"d *o a"
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*he" they #op&$ate/ 2 4Yo& do"(t f&#k &#h.4 said she. 4yo& spo"k so fat.4 2 I to$d her that I had f&#ked as &#h as I #o&$d. b&t had bee" &"a1oidab$y #haste 2 abs&rd *ords 2 for so e days. The" as I be%a" to p&t o" y dra*ers. 2 4Fookee ore. #o e.4 said she $ayi"% do*" o" the bed a%ai". *ide"i"% her thi%hs a"d poi"ti"% to her #&"t. I a##epted her i"1itatio". o" *e *e"t ta$ki"% abo&t herse$f ti$$ *e drifted i"to ta$k of f&#ki"%. a"d desire #a e to see her "aked fro head to foot. Off *e"t her boots a"d sto#ki"%s. "aked as I *as bor" I ade yse$f. the" $aid &po" her *ith o&r $i bs i"ter$a#i"%. O"e attit&de after a"other did *e p&t o&rse$1es i". I e"0oyi"% the #o"trasts of o&r #o$ors. b$a#k thi%hs e"#$osi"% *hite ha&"#hes. *hite ar s a"d ha"ds #$aspi"% b$a#k b&tto#ks. b$a#k breasts s3&ee-ed o&t by y *hite #hest. The e!#ite e"t *as to e i"te"se. see ed to be so to her as *e$$ as to e. tho to her it #o&$d ha1e bee" "o "o1e$ty. The" I p&t her o1er yse$f a"d sa* i" the %$ass abo1e her p$& p b$a#k ba#k a"d b&tto#ks #o1eri"% e. *hi$st y *hite thi%hs $ay bet*ee" hers. )"d "o* stiff a%ai" stood o&t a *hite a"d red6tipped ra"dy rod a%ai"st her b& f&rro*. The" i" si!ty6"i"e attit&de *e $ay side6*ays. y head bet*ee" her thi%hs. she*i"% i" the $ooki"% %$ass peepi"% o&t of the s&rro&"di"% b$a#k"ess. )"d 2 4)ha.4 +arkie had take" y pe%o i" her o&th a"d *as e"0oyi"% it. 4Li#kee e #o"te #heri.4 2 Le*ed as I *as. p$eased as I *as *ith her. I #o&$d"(t do that. #o&$d "ot $i#k that 'e%ress( #&"t. b&t took y head fro bet*ee" her thi%hs. y pri#k fro o&t her o&th. The" both i patie"t for the di1i"e 0&"#tio" of o&r %e"ita$s. i" *e"t y pri#k a"d a%ai" *e f&#ked ost b$iss6f&$$y a"d $o"%. a%ai" her #&"t %a1e &p ab&"da"t $ibatio" as y pri#k 3&itted it. The" *e dra"k so e 7ordea&!. a"d ta$ked a *hi$e. She did"(t $ike the $ife. had o"$y bee" at it fo&r o"ths. so e o"e pers&aded her to #o e. She(d "ot see" >aris a"d did"(t ea" to %o. She *o&$d %o ba#k to Cairo. or )$e!a"dria. a"d a%ai" be 4'&rse to de $eet$e #hi$ds.4 2 4Yo& *o"(t %et f&#ked there.4 4Oh 2 yes 2 I f&#kee dere before I #o e here.4 2 The" she $et e k"o* that it *as 4f&#kee for $ikee4 a"d that tho she *o&$d be a "&rse aid she sho&$d sti$$ be f&#ked. 2 She *as %ratef&$ for te" fra"#s a"d I departed. yet "o* I thi"k of it. I *o"der ho* I #a e to $ike this darkie(s body a"d f&#ki"%. so &#h. )t ei%ht o(#$o#k o"e #o$d or"i"% i" 'o1e ber. I *a$ked a$o"% o" y *ay to a rai$*ay statio". I *as %oi"% o&t shooti"%. y %&" a"d $&%%a%e had %o"e the pre1io&s day to y frie"d(s ho&se. a"d I *as to eet hi at te" o(#$o#k. I *as at the o e"t i" a 3&iet street of se i6deta#hed ho&ses. "ot a perso" *as 1isib$e b&t a po$i#e a" a"d a i$k a". the i"habita"ts bei"%. I s&ppose. 0&st o&t of bed. 2 T&r"i"% a #or"er. I sa* abo&t a h&"dred feet ahead of e t*o *o e" sta"di"% ta$ki"%. o"e a sto&tish *e$$6%ro*" *o a" of #o o" #$ass *ith a bo""et o". the other shorter *ho had so ethi"% i" her ha"d. a"d *ho had o"$y a #ap o" a"d $ooked $ike a ser1a"t.

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The ta$$er *o a" had her fa#e f&$$ to*ards e. a"d as I approa#hed I sa* that she $ooked abo&t fo&r a"d t*e"ty. She had fi"e dark eyes a"d hair. *as *e$$6for ed a"d so$di$y b&i$t. had 1ery bi% breasts. a"d rese b$ed the bi% #o&"try ser1a"ts *ho #o e to Lo"do". She *as e1ide"t$y of poor #$ass. b&t had %ood "eat #$othi"% tho "ot *ar e"o&%h for the seaso". She had a par#e$ i" her ha"d. 2 I *as 1ery fit that or"i"%. her $ooks p$eased e. a"d as I %ot "earer a"d took i" at a %$a"#e a$$ I ha1e said. y pe%o thri$$ed a"d I tho&%ht she *as 0&st the b&i$d I $ike to f&#k. ) #$ippi"% #&"t bet*ee" hea1y thi%hs she has. tho&%ht I. I"sti"ti1e$y I s&ppose. a"d #ertai"$y *itho&t a"y ob0e#t tha" %a-i"% at a fi"e *o a". I s$i%ht$y s$a#ke"ed y pa#e. )s I %ot "earer. her eyes faste"ed the se$1es o" i"e. as i"e did o" her. a"d kept so ti$$ I had passed her. )s I passed a se"s&o&s thri$$ a%ai" #a e thro e. a"d I tho&%ht I sho&$d $ike to f&#k her. ;as o&r $&st re#ipro#a$ at that o e"t/ ;he" so e $itt$e dista"#e past her I $ooked ro&"d a"d she *as a$so $ooki"% ro&"d after e. ) fe* feet f&rther this *as repeated. I the" took off y hat. she "odded. a"d the ser1a"t *ith a 0&% 2 as I the" sa* she *as 2 *e"t i"to a" ad0a#e"t ho&se. The *o a" the" *a$ked s$o*$y o". a%ai" t&r"ed ro&"d. a"d i ediate$y for%etti"% y desti"atio" I t&r"ed. a"d *e"t after. She stopped a"d soo" I *as #$ose to her. +o-e"s of ti es *o e" a"d I ha1e $ooked ro&"d after ea#h other o" si i$ar #ha"#e eeti"%s. *hi#h %e"era$$y e"ded i" s&#h $ooks. 7&t is there "ot i" s&#h si &$ta"eo&s a#tio". si &$ta"eo&s desire/ 2 Is there "ot fe$t tho "ot said. "or e1e" at the 1ery i"sta"t tho&%ht of. a &t&a$ se!&a$ attra#tio" *hi#h for &$ated a"d e!pressed ea"s. 2 4I(d $ike hi to f&#k e. 2 I(d $ike to f&#k her.4 2 4;hat a fi"e a"94 4;hat a $o1e$y *o a"94 e!pressio"s &sed i$$io"s of ti es a"d &sed i"sti"#ti1e$y. ea" *he" a"a$y-ed a $ate"t &t&a$ desire to #op&$ate. a +i1i"e i"sti"#t. &r%i"% to*ards f&#ki"%. U"der this i"sti"#t a"d i" obedie"#e to this +i1i"e $a* it *as that she stood sti$$ a"d that I *e"t after her. I seeki"% #&"t. she seeki"% pri#k. a"d the p$eas&re of the $ife %i1i"% sper ati# i"0e#tio". I &"der this spe$$ of $&st a"d 3&ite for%etti"% "o* y trai" said. 4;e$$ y dear. *hat are yo& *aiti"% for/4 4;hat are yo& #o i"% to e for/4 she rep$ied. s i$i"%. 4To $ook at yo&r ha"dso e fa#e. a"d hear *hy yo& are o&t so ear$y.4 4;here are yo& %oi"% so ear$y/4 4:oi"% shooti"%. *here are yo&/4 4:oi"% to a hospita$.4 2 ,er soft eyes *hi#h had bee" fi!ed #aressi"%$y o" i"e %re* for a" i"sta"t serio&s. 2 4'o"se"se.4 4It(s tr&e.4 2 I $a&%hed. "ot k"o*i"% *hat to ake of it. a"d the" she s i$ed a%ai". a"d y pri#k throbbed a"d be%a" ere#ti"%. as I the" tho&%ht of the hair o" her #&"t. 2 )s far as I #a" re#o$$e#t. thi"ki"% of her #&"ta$ or"a e"t *as thro "oti#i"% that she(d &"&s&a$$y thi#k eyebro*s 2 ,o* stra"%e$y ideas #o""e#t. 2 My pri#k %a1e a fi"a$ 0erk a"d stood f&$$y ere#t. 4I *ish I *ere %oi"% to bed *ith yo& i"stead.4 4Oh9 i"deed.4 She $ooked do*". the" at e. the" at the %ro&"d a%ai". 4Yes. it *o&$d be *ar there.4
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4Yo& ha1e"(t &#h to #o p$ai" of the #o$d.4 2 I(d 1ery *ar *i"ter #$othes o". 2 4'o. b&t yo& are "ot too *ar .4 2 4)$$ I(1e %ot *ar is &p the spo&t to b&y this.4 2 She*i"% the par#e$. 2 4Let &s %o to bed i" the *ar . a"d I($$ take yo&r thi"%s o&t of the spo&t.4 4I( da "ed.4 said she. a"d $a&%hed shaki"% her head. The" she t&r"ed ro&"d a"d *a$ked o" after first $ooki"% to*ards the ho&se *hi#h the other *o e" had e"tered. I fo$$o*ed her. ) fe* pa#es a"d she(d "eared the #or"er the" stopped tho&%htf&$$y. 4Co e.4 said I. She $ooked $o"% a"d stra"%e$y i" y eyes *itho&t rep$yi"%. 2 4:i1e e yo&r ha"d.4 She(d "o %$o1es o". 2 4;hat for/4 $a&%hi"%. 4:i1e it e.4 2 She did. I took it b&t hesitated to say *hat rose to y $ips. 4;e$$/4 said she. $ooki"% at e. as if for e!p$a"atio". My pri#k %a1e a throb. 2 4Yo& *a"t f&#ki"%.4 2 4I( da "ed.4 said she. a%ai" $a&%hi"%. a"d s"at#hi"% her ha"d a*ay. 2 4I(1e ade yo& *a"t it.4 4Yo& ai"(t. yo& beast.4 4Co e. a"d I($$ %et the o&t of the spo&t.4 She $ooked &p a"d do*" the street. a"!io&s$y. o"$y a a" or t*o $ooki"% $ike #$erks *a$ki"% 3&i#k$y *ere 1isib$e. 2 4Co e.4 4;here are yo& %oi"% to/4 4) #offee shop. *here is there o"e/4 4I( stra"%e abo&t here a"d k"o* "o"e.4 2 So *as I a"d for a o e"t hesitated. s&dde"$y re#o$$e#ted y trai" a"d $ooked at y *at#h. 2 4The +e1i$9 I(1e $ost it.4 4Lost *hat/4 4'e1er i"d. I( too $ate "o*. $et(s *a$k this *ay a"d I($$ %et the o&t of the spo&t.4 2 4Oh9 "ot past that ho&se. y #o&si" $i1es there. she k"o*s *here I( %oi" to.4 2 I t&r"ed the other *ay. 2 4Yo& %o first. I hope it ai"(t far4 said she. I *a$ked o". she fo$$o*i"% e. Soo" after. 4,ere. hi.4 she #ried. 2 I t&r"ed ro&"d. 4Yo&($$ take (e o&t of pa*" *o"(t yer "o*.4 said she do&bti"%$y. a"d stopped. 4Yes. ho* &#h/4 4Its thirty6ei%ht a"d si! the". *i$$ yo& "o*/4 4)$$ ri%ht.4 2 I *a$ked o" to*ards *here I k"e* the ai" road $ay. *o"deri"% at the stra"%e t&r" thi"%s had take" a"d fi$$ed *ith desire to f&#k her. she sti$$ fo$$o*i"% a fe* pa#es behi"d e. I" a fe* i"&tes *e *ere i" a fo&r *hee$er. 4Oh I #a"(t %o a$$ that *ay. I(1e %ot to #a$$ o" y brother.4 said she *he" she heard the dire#tio" %i1e". 2 4I($$ se"d yo& ba#k i" a #ab.4 'e!t i"&te i" the #ab. y ha"d *as &p her petti#oats. 2 4Oh "o. "ot here. *ait ti$$ *e(re there. yo& sha"(t.4 2 7&t i" a tri#e y fi"%ers *ere o" her #&"t spite of her odest str&%%$es 2 for odest they see ed 2 a"d so soo" as I(d fo&"d her #$itoris a"d had fri%%ed it a $itt$e she *as 3&iet 2 they a$$ are. 4>&t yo&r ha"d &"der y %reat#oat a"d fee$ y pri#k.4 I %ot it o&t. she $ooked at e hard for a i"&te a"d the" she #$&t#hed it. 2 4Oh. ai"(t it *ar /4 2 ,er ha"d *as $ike i#e. a"d she(d "o %$o1es. 2 4Oh. they($$ see &s 2 do"(t.4 2 b&t she ope"ed her thi%hs to $et e fri%. a"d soo". 4I sha$$ do it if yo& %o o". oh. do"(t.4 2 a"d she %a1e at that o e"t the #o"1&$si1e %rip o" y pe%o *hi#h ofte" *o e" do *he" bei"% fri%%ed a$ ost to spe"di"% poi"t. I #eased fri%%i"% her. the" stopped at a" offi#e a"d te$e%raphed to y frie"d that I(d issed the trai". )s I re6e"tered the #ab. 4Let e %o. I(d rather.4 said she
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o&r"f&$$y. 7&t her fi"e eyes *ere soft. *ere f&$$ of $&st. 4'o"se"se.4 2 O" *e *e"t. y ha"d "o* o" her thi%hs o"$y to&#hi"% her otte. a"d p&tti"% &p y pe%o $est I sho&$d spe"d. thro her ha"d$i"%. for I(d ade her ha"d$e it a%ai". I tried to $ear" *here she *as %oi"% a"d *ho she *as. b&t fai$ed. I tried a"%eri"% her. 2 4)i"(t I arried/ I a tho. b&t y ri"% is popped 2 *orse $&#k.4 The" I tried to %et a" ad issio" that she(d had other e". She sho*ed "o a"%er. b&t 3&iet$y de"ied it. 2 4'o. I(1e "e1er had y thi"% fe$t i" a #ab before "e1er 2 "e1er.4 4+o yo& $ike it/4 4'o. ;hat a #&rio&s b$oke yo& are. yo&(re "ot %oi"% to #heat e are yo& 2 ha1e yo& %ot the o"ey/4 She see ed s&dde"$y do&btf&$ so I p&$$ed o&t a ha"df&$. 2 4Oh9 *o&$d"(t a$$ that ake &s happy.4 3&oth she. 4'o. I ha1e"(t had it do"e to e for three *eeks.4 2 4Say f&#ked a"d I($$ %i1e yo& ha$f a #ro*" at o"#e.4 4:i1e it &s the".4 2 She took it. spat &po" a"d po#ketted it. 2 4Say it.4 2 4I ai"(t bee" f&#ked the". a"d sha"(t for so e *eeks ore.4 a"d she b&rst o&t $a&%hi"%. 4Yes yo& *i$$. I sha$$ f&#k yo&.4 2 4Oh 2 ah 2 yes. 2 I ea"s y 7ob.4 4;hose 7ob/4 4My h&sba"d. a"d I *o"(t te$$ yo& a"y thi"% ore.4 a"d I #o&$d"(t %et ore the". 7&t she kissed e. *he" I kissed her rapt&ro&s$y. a"d I ta$ked y ba&diest. stir6ri"% her $&st &p for I sa* she *as ra"dy. sa* it i" her eyes. b&t a$$ she said *as 4Oh 2 ah4 at ea#h ba&dy se"te"#e. a"d s i$ed. ;e a$i%hted. a"d she fo$$o*ed e to a ho&se. They *ere "ot &p. a"d I stood ri"%i"% *ith this s$i%ht$y #$ad. poor $ooki"% *o a" besides e. L&#ki$y the door soo" ope"ed a"d a bedroo soo" he$d &s. b&t it had "o* %ot 3&ite a dark Lo"do" or"i"%. The %as *as sh&t off fro the ai" a"d there *as "o fire. )$ ost i" the dark *e *ere $eft *hi$st a *o a" *e"t to t&r" o" the %as. a"d sta"di"% by the bed. after a str&%%$e a"d. 4+o"(t $et the *o a" see.4 I ra" y ha"d ro&"d a sp$e"did ba#kside a"d a%ai" fi"%ered a #$itoris. the" p&t y pe%o i" her ha"d *hi#h I fe$t she ha"d$ed $&st6f&$$y. Li%ht %ot. 4Sha$$ I $i%ht a fire/4 4Yes. i" the "e!t roo . a"d te$$ &s *he" it(s ready.4 Off *e"t y #oat. off *e"t her bo""et. p&shi"% her o" to her ba#k *itho&t a"y resista"#e fro her. I thre* &p her #$othes. sa* assi1e thi%hs. bi% *hite b& a"d be$$y. a *e$$6haired #&"t. a"d i" a se#o"d y pri#k had str&#k its e"d. She fe$t its *ar th a"d stret#h. its p$&"%e a"d fri#tio". a"d i"sta"t$y si%hed &#h *ith 1o$&pt&o&s soft si%hs. O" *e f&#ked ti$$ I pa&sed 2 I ofte" do "o* i" y p$eas&re. 4Oh 2 %o o".4 ,er #&"t #$ipped for she *as ra"dy to her b& ho$e. 2 4+o yo& *a"t f&#ki"%/4 4Oho 2 yes 2 %o o".4 She si%hed i patie"t$y a"d her i1ory ba#kside *ri%%$ed. 4Say f&#k e.4 4I *o"(t 2 ah 2 aher 2 ah 2 F&#k e 2 aha 2 aher 2 +o"(t stop.4 2 ) *o a" sayi"% that ofte" bri"%s o" y dis#har%e. a"d "o* both si%hed o&r p$eas&re as y sp&"k i"&"dated her. 2 The" soo" I stood ho$di"% her thi%hs 3&iet$y. keepi"% y pri#k i" her. ,o* bea&tif&$ she $ooked to e 2 *hat a $o1e$y #&"t it fe$t. 2 4Is it tr&e yo&(1e "ot bee" f&#ked for three *eeks/4 2 4C&ite tr&e. $o"%er. a"d I *o&$d"(t ha1e do"e it "o* b&t for hi .4 4Yo& *a"ted it.4 4I did. 0&st *he" I sa* yo&. I be%a" to fee$ 3&eer.4 She $a&%hed. My i"sti"#ts *ere tr&e.
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G"o#k 2 k"o#k. 2 4I(1e $i%hted a fire. sir.4 +o*" *e"t her petti#oats. I hid y pri#k. a"d to the ad0oi"i"% roo *e *e"t. 2 4The roo (s 3&ite *ar . sir. a %e"t a"d a $ady(s bee" a s$eepi"% there $ast "i%ht.4 2 4I($$ f&#k yo& a%ai".4 4Yo& &st be 3&i#k the" b&t %i1e e y o"ey. It(s a bit of $&#k.4 said she. as I %a1e her t*o so1erei%"s. 4Let e see yo&r #&"t.4 She did"(t see to $ike that b&t a$$o*ed it. a"d the pro ise of te" shi$$i"%s did ore. she $et e strip off a "ot too #$ea" #he ise. a"d stood "aked. as fi"e a *o a" as I(1e e1er e bra#ed. 2 4Yo&(re "ot thi" tho yo&(re i" s&#h po1erty.4 4'o. y father a"d other feeds e *e$$. b&t they *o"(t do "othi"% for hi . a"d I(1e pa*"ed "ear$y e1erythi"% to %et hi thi"%s. a"d I *orks hard too. 2 I thi"k I($$ t&r" a %ay the o"ey(s easy %ot.4 2 )"d a $ot ore she said as I $aid besides a"d fri%%ed her. ti$$ a%ai" her b& *ri%%$ed. a"d she said o" a s&dde". 2 4Sho* e yo&r thi"%. yo&(1e see" i"e.4 2 She *as %etti"% $e*ed. de ora$i-ed. it #ertai"$y *as "ot sha . 2 I sho*ed it her. she see ed p$eased. $e*ed. a"d fe$t it rest$ess$y a"d $o"%. She(d a $o1e$y #&"t. o"e f&$$y dark6haired. b&t "ot a hair *as "ear her arseho$e. ,er f$esh *as *hite. her for a$$ that #o&$d be *a"ted. a"d *hi$st I $ooked a"d ad ired her. 2 4Oh. $et(s %et i"to bed it(s so #o$d. b&t I &st %o soo".4 She &#h *a"ted f&#ki"%. I"to a bed i" *hi#h perhaps a #o&p$e had bee" f&#ki"% a$$ "i%ht *e %ot. ;e "e1er $ooked at the sheets a"d *e both had o&r boots o". 2 4Oh ai"(t it "i#e a"d *ar /4 said she. The" *e kissed $e*ed$y. her ha"d so&%ht y pri#k. y fi"%er her #$itoris. a"d &"der its %e"t$e titi$$atio" soo" she si%hed. 2 4Oh9 do e.4 (Let e fri% yo& a"d I($$ f&#k yo& after*ards.4 She a#3&ies#ed. ope"ed her thi%hs. I fri%%ed %e"t$y. 4Oho 2 3&i#ker.4 2 ,er be$$y hea1ed. her r& p. 0o%%ed I&i#k$y *ith tre &$o&s f&#ki"% otio". that irresistab$e =s#i$$atio" *he" the spe"d is #o i"% 2 a"d she spe"t. 2 4There. yo&(1e ade e. $et e "o* %o.4 a"d she $et %o y pe%o. 7&t "o*. y $&st ro&sed by the p$ay of y fi"%er o" the s$it *hi#h *as oiste"ed *ith its 0&i#es. y pe%o stood f&$$ stiff a"d r&by6tipped a%ai". I thre* do*" the #$othes a"d she*ed it her tri& pha"t. a"d bare$y *as her p$eas&re o1er tha" I %ot bet*ee" her thi%hs a"d 6o1ered her. a"d $ay *ith pri#k b&ried deep i" the $&bri#io&s a1e"&e. Tho stiff I restrai"ed yse$f a"d $ay *ithi" her. ta$ki"% of f&#ki"%. e1er a"d a"o" o1i"% y pri#k %e"t$y. "o* this *ay "o* that *ay. sear#hi"% her #&"t *ith it to keep it ri%id 2 for I *as i" "o h&rry.. 4Yo&r #&"t(s 3&ite soft *ith spe"di"%s. 2 +oes y pri#k fee$ "i#e. 2 +o yo& $ike it p&shed hard &p/4 a"d so o". 2 4)ha 2 yes. yo&($$ ake e do it a%ai" soo". aha 2 aha 2 yes 2 yes. it(s "i#e 2 oh. %o o". do it.4 2 She he$d e to her $ike a 1i#e. raisi"% her thi%hs to e"%&$f y pri#k. to %et a$$ &p her. a"d $et her #&"t rise to y thr&sts. The" #$&t#hi"% her so$id b&tto#ks. $&i#k$y I ra ed y pe%o &p a"d do*". ti$$ y sper fi$$ed her as she spe"t. a"d the" *e $ay i" soft repose. 2 4;hat(s the ti e/ if I do"(t %et there by t*e$1e o(#$o#k I #a"(t see hi .4 4It(s "ot te" I( s&re.4 47&t I &st %o to y brother(s first.4 2 I he$d her fast. y
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pri#k sti$$ i" its *ar $od%i"% a"d asked ore 3&estio"s. 2 4;ho 2 *here 2 *hat for 2 *he"/4 2 a$$ abo&t hi a"d their "a e. their o##&patio". 7&t she *as as #$ose as a" oyster. 2 4I be$ie1e 7ob(s i" priso".4 4,o9 2 he ai"(t 2 %et a$o"% 2 oh do.4 2 7a#k*ards she dre* her b& . y pri#k s$ipped o&t of her b&ttery #&"t. she 0& ped o&t of bed a"d p&t o" her #he ise. My re ark see ed to &pset her. for she kept $ooki"% at e i" a 3&eer a""er. 4Yo&(1e "ot *ashed yo&r #&"t.4 4)h. "o.4 She *ashed it a"d i" a %reat h&rry dressed. 4Yo&(1e bee" %ay.4 2 4Me/ "e1er.4 4;hy is 7ob so far off/4 4I *o"(t te$$. it(s "o b&si"ess of yo&rs. 2 'o 2 I *o"(t te$$ yo& *here I $i1e. "o "or y "a e. 2 'o. I *o"(t eet yo& a%ai" 2 Oh. I did say 0&st "o* I(d t&r" %ay b&t I did"(t ea" it 2 of #o&rse I did"(t.4 2 4Yo& *a"ted f&#ki"%.4 2 4So *o&$d yo& if yo& had"(t had it for three *eeks.4 4Yo& fri% yo&rse$f.4 2 4;hy i" #o&rse I does. *ho *o&$d"(t/ 2 Oh. $ea1e e a$o"e.4 2 I fe$t her #&"t a"d thr&st y fi"%er &p it. a"d ade her fee$ y pri#k. 2 47ob(s i" priso".4 She stared for a i"&te. 4,e is"(t.4 2 4,e is.4 2 4,e is"(t.4 2 I persisted a"d she %ot a"%ry so I dropped the s&b0e#t ;hi$st fee$i"% her 3&i for the $ast ti e 2 she *as the" dressed a"d sta"di"% &p 2 a%ai" I said. 4,e(s i" priso".4 2 4,e(s i" a hospita$.4 2 4;e$$. b&t i" a priso".4 2 4;e$$. it is"(t a"y b&si"ess of yo&rs if he is. a"d he(s "o ri%ht to be.4 2 4The" he is i" priso".4 2 4,e is"(t "o* I *o"(t a"s*er a"y ore.4 2 4Giss e.4 2 She did. 2 4Fee$ y pri#k.4 2 4Sho* it &s the".4 I prod&#ed it. she fe$t it ea%er$y a$$ o1er. p&$$ed the prep&#e ba#k. b&rst o&t $a&%hi"% a"d *e"t do*" stairs sayi"%. 4The door is"(t $o#ked. is it/4 2 'e!t i"sta"t she disappeared. I %ot to shooti"% after $&"#heo". a"d to$d a th&"deri"% $ie as the reaso" for issi"% the trai". I(1e "ot ade &p y i"d abo&t this *o a"(s stat&s. ,ad she e1er bee" a har$ot. or si p$y f&#ked o" the s$y. as so a"y of the $o*er #$asses ha1e bee" before arria%e/ ;as she $i1i"% *ith a a" or arried/ That the a" she *as %oi"% to see *as i" priso" I a s&re. 2 ;as it o"ey *hi#h %ot her. or *as it $&st/ 2 She ad itted that *he" I a##osted her she *a"ted f&#ki"%. her str&%%$es *he" I *a"ted to fee$ her #&"t *ere "ot $ike a har$ot(s. "or *as her ta$k. 2 It &st ha1e bee" o"ey. a"d *a"t of f&#ki"% to%ether *hi#h ade her yie$d to e. 2 She *as a f&$$y %ro*" sp$e"did *o a". *ith *hite so$id f$esh. had a" ar as bi% as a a"(s b&t fe i"i"e i" shape. *ith &#h dark hair i" her ar pits. 2 She(d &"&s&a$$y thi#k. *ide b$a#k eye6bro*s. a"d her eyes *ere dark a"d 1ery soft i" e!pressio". 2 I "e1er had a *o a" *ho e"0oyed her f&#ki"% ore. She said she *as t*e"ty6fo&r. 2 I *rote a$$ abo&t her ear$y the "e!t or"i"% before I *e"t o&t shooti"%. :o$d offered to *o e" *he" their #&"ts ti"%$e *i$$ %et ost of the . EThe fo$$o*i"% "o do&bt *as reser1ed for a #hapter o" #&"ts.F 6 Met $ast "i%ht a $itt$e %ir$ *ho I %&essed fiftee". as she *as. I took her to a ba&dy ho&se. p&t her "aked. a"d fo&"d she(d a" e!traordi"ary de1e$op e"t of "y phae.
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She(d s#ar#e$y a"y hair o" her #ra#k. a"d the "y phae h&"% o&t fro the $ips "ear$y the e"tire $e"%th of the . 3&ite a" i"#h a"d a ha$f. 2 I "e1er sa* s&#h a #&"t before. tho I(1e see" so e $ar%e de1e$op e"ts of "y phae. a"d "otab$y i" a har$ot "a ed 7etsy *ith pro i"e"t eyes. This *as $o"% a%o. She *as ha"dso e$y #$ad i" b$a#k si$k. *as p$& p a"d *e$$ ade. a"d I $&sted for her ti$$ I sa* these prot&bera"t f$appers. *he" desire $eft e. 'e1erthe$ess I deter i"ed to f&#k her. a"d by fri%%i"% %ot y pe%o stiff. the" easi$y &p her #&"t. 7&t i ediate$y it shr&"k o&t *he" $ooki"% do*". I sa* it s&rro&"ded by these $ar%e red e!#res#e"#es. Tria$ after tria$ I ade &se$ess$y. the" asked her to s&#k y pri#k. I"to her o&th she took it *itho&t hesitatio". re arki"% that she &#h $iked s&#ki"% pri#ks. I *as asto&"ded. for she *as"(t &#h o1er fiftee" a"d had o"$y bee" %ay a o"th she said. b&t had a$$ the &"hesitati"% ba&di"ess of a har$ot forty years o$d. tho she #o p$ied *ith a"d did a$$ i" a %ir$ish *ay. ,er bi% "y phae ho*e1er 3&ite &pset e. a"d y pe%o ref&sed to rise. I *as sitti"% as she operated so tried a"other attit&de. by $ayi"% o" y ba#k a"d she k"ee$i"% o1er e. %a ah&#hi"%. 7&t the "y phae $ooked that *ay &%$ier tha" e1er. tho her "i#e $itt$e s ooth b&tto#ks $ooked ost i"1iti"%. )s I s oothed her b& a"d fi"%ered her b& ho$e. y pri#k rose &p a$$ at o"#e. a"d I said 0&st as the *hi str&#k e. a"d *itho&t thi"ki"%. *itho&t a"y idea of. or desire for her #o p$yi"%. 4I($$ %i1e yo& a"other ha$f so1erei%" to $et e b&%%er yo&.4 2 4Very *e$$.4 2 she rep$ied at o"#e. a"d "i b$y %ot off e aski"%. 4,o* *i$$ yo& do it/4 2 4,a1e yo& e1er bee" b&%%ered/4 said I asto"ished. 2 4'ot ofte". a"d yo& o&%ht to %i1e e a so1erei%" for that. for it h&rts.4 4;hy do yo& do it the"/4 2 4It(s "i#e after*ards so eti es.4 2 I tho&%ht she &st be 0oki"% or #haffi"% e. b&t she *as"(t. I hesitated. b&t *as "o* &"der the do i"io" of a $et#h. *as &tter$y &"ref$e#ti"%. a"d oreo1er *as #arried a*ay "o* i" a de%ree by #&riosity *hi#h had arise". I t&r"ed her to*ards e k"ee$i"% $o* a"d stood at her ba#k. 2 4;et it *e$$ *ith yo&r spitt$e.4 said she k"o*i"%$y. I did. a"d y pe%o *hi#h has re1o$ted before o" si i$ar o##asio"s stood stiff$y. a"d %$ided easi$y ri%ht &p her. 2 4Ohooo 2 it h&rts.4 said she. )t that y pri#k d*i"d$ed. a"d I *ithdre* *ith a fee$i"% of dis%&st at yse$f a"d at her. *hi#h I rea$$y #a""ot des#ribe. The doi"%s of this %ir$ see ed $ike a drea to e. I *ashed y pe%o a"d sat do*". she after fee$i"% her b& ho$e #aref&$$y did the sa e. a"d *e ta$ked. she *ith the see i"% fra"k"ess of a #hi$d 2 *itho&t a"y se"se of sha e or odesty *hate1er 2 spoke abo&t a$$ eroti# possibi$ities *ith the i"fi"ite k"o*$ed%e of the o$dest har$ot. ;hat she to$d abo&t herse$f *as i" its esse"#e *hat is a$ready *ritte". 2 To s&#k. f&#k. fri% or b&%%er. she see ed to $ike bei"% b&%%ered. I %athered. 2 The" she to$d that a %e"t$e a" *ho(d kept her a year. had paid for roo s for her at H H H H b&t she had to keep herse$f "o*. ;o&$d I #a$$ at her roo s/ I
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paid her a"d pro ised b&t *itho&t a"y s&#h i"te"tio". 2 The" she pidd$ed a"d i" doi"% so $et a" easy so&"di"% fart. 2 4Oh9 That(s yo&r fa&$t thro doi"% that to e.4 2 She see ed the" a $itt$e asha ed. the o"$y si%" of sha e I(d see" i" her. )s I sat ta$ki"%. I fe$t a""oyed that I(d had "o p$eas&re. tho a %reat e!perie"#e of the eroti# 1arieties. #ap6 abi$ities a"d possibi$ities i" o"e so yo&"%. 2 4I(d $ike to spe"d.4 said I. 2 4I($$ ake yo& b&t yo& do"(t $ike e.4 2 4Yes I do. %a ah&#he e.4 2 I $aid do*" the" o" the bed. she a%ai" k"e$t o1er e *ith her pretty b& to*ards y fa#e. a"d *hi$e I #o"te p$ated the ro&"d orifi#e *hi#h I(d e"tered so &"e!pe#ted$y a"d $eft so 3&i#k$y. a"d fe$t her s ooth $itt$e ba#kside. y sper fi$$ed her o&th. )t o"#e she %ot off e. %ot rid of the $ibatio". a"d her first *ords *ere. 4Yo&(1e p$e"ty of sp&"k. I tho&%ht yo&(d "o"e.4 I "e1er heard s&#h a k"o*i"% %ir$ before. ) *eek after*ards o&t of #&riosity. as I fa"#ied this %ir$ &st ha1e had a stra"%e history. I #a$$ed o" her. The *o a" *ho ope"ed the door ba*$ed o&t i" a %r& py 1oi#e. 4Miss H H H. here(s a %e"t$e a" *a"ts yo&.4 2 4She(s &p stairs.4 said she to e. 2 4Co e &p.4 said a 1oi#e. I *e"t &p a"d fo&"d her i" *e$$ f&r"ished roo s 2 I ade her strip a"d( a%ai" e!a i"ed that si"%&$ar #&"t. a"d at $ast f&#ked it to y o*" asto"ish e"t 2 tho *hy asto"ished I do"(t k"o*. 2 The %ir$ spe"t *ith e 2 sayi"% dire#t$y her p$eas&re #eased. 4Oh9 I do $ike f&#ki"% so.4 2 i" to"e a"d a""er as if said to herse$f or to a"other %ir$. The" she be%a" to #ry. :i1i"% her a so1erei%". 4Oh. it(s a$$ ri%ht. b&t I *ish yo&(d %i1e e a"other. I o*e re"t a"d she($$ t&r" e o&t she says "e!t *eek if I do"(t pay. a"d I( s&re I #a"(t. 2 ) "i#e yo&"% a" f&#ked e the other "i%ht a"d said he(d keep e a"d *o&$d #o e a%ai" yesterday. b&t he has"(t. 2 I do"(t thi"k they $ike y #&"t. )re those thi"%s 1ery &%$y/ 2 the *o e" say they are 2 *hat do yo& thi"k/ +o te$$ e 2 I do"(t %et o". a"d I(1e $ost y o$d frie"d. ,e said I *as so yo&"% that I(d be s&re to %et $ots of o"ey *ith6o&t hi . b&t I do"(t.4 I se"t for *i"e to $oose" her to"%&e. a"d said I(d %i1e her a"other so1erei%" if she(d a"s*er y 3&estio"s. She said she *o&$d b&t she*ed #&""i"% i" doi"% so. So e &"&s&a$ thi"%s she to$d of if she did"(t $ie. 2 She(d bee" f&#ked at e$e1e" years of a%e. first by a boy. the" by the a" *ho #a&%ht the boy doi"% it 2 at that she $a&%hed. 2 ) %e"t$e a". 4a"d a" o$d o"e.4 had kept her. 2 4,o* o$d/4 2 She s&pposed fifty. ,e(d kept her a year. 4)"d I(1e do"e (e a$$ *ith hi .4 2 I p&t fri%. f&#k. s&#k. b&%%er. to her s&##essi1e$y. 4Oh yes. ofte".4 ,e(d %i1e" her other &#h o"ey a"d her other k"e*. ,e had take" those $od%i"%s a"d paid a o"th(s re"t. sayi"% that she &st keep herse$f "o*. She did"(t k"o* *here he $i1ed. a"d *as fri%hte"ed to %o to her other. I %&ess to %ratify his e1ery $et#h. a"d that he(d had e1ery $et#h. 2 I *as $ooki"% a%ai" at her &%$y 3&i *he" a k"o#k #a e at the door. she *e"t o&t a"d ret&r"i"%. 2 4Oh. he(s #o e. he said he(d keep e. I *ish yo&(d %o as 3&i#k as yo& #a".4 I" three i"&tes I *as o&t of the ho&se a"d "e1er sa* the pre#o#io&s $itt$e *hore a%ai".
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Chapter NI +is0e#ta e bra #o"ti"&ed. ) fair haired +a"e. ) se i6hair$ess 3&i . )bo&t har$ots( $&sts a"d p$eas&res. The Misses >HHH$HHsH". )%atha a"d ,e$e". Mast&rbati"% predi$e#tio"s. ) fri% i" a s& er ho&se. ) fri% i" a %rotto. )t a road6side i"". ) tipsy *ife. Le*ed per sa$t& . F&#ki"% *ith hat o". ) s#are. T*i#e i" t*e"ty i"&tes. Ref$e!io"s. E'o do&bt this a$so *as set aside for a #hapter o" #&"ts.F 2 >$a#e Cope"ha%e". ) p$& p. b$&e eyed. f$a!e" haired. short da -e$. 1ery ha"dso e a"d et at a beer %arde". to *hose $od%i"%s I *e"t. She spoke a $itt$e E"%$ish i!ed *ith :er a". said a" E"%$ish6 a" had kept her so e o"ths a"d that she bee" ya#hti"% *ith hi . She *as so$id. s3&are b&i$t a"d t*e"ty. had bi% breasts. bi% thi%hs a"d 1ery bi% b& . her thi%hs a"d b& *ere those of a" E"%$ish *o a"(s of thirty. b&t her s*eet yo&thf&$ fa#e to$d that she *as abo&t the a%e she said. There *as i" her *hat I ha1e fo&"d i" a"y 'orther" *hores a"d S#ot#h *hores5 &#h odesty abo&t she*i"% her #&"t. *hi#h I #&red by s*eari"% i" a"%er a"d te$$i"% her I hated h& b&%. 2 4Oh. yah. 2 :od da ". 2 Yes.4 2 said she. $a&%hi"%. a"d ope"i"% her thi%hs *ide. She(d o"e of the fattest ottes a"d #&"ts I e1er fe$t. It *as ore $ike a "ot#h i" so e fat f$esh tha" a #ra#k *ith $ips. a$tho a $itt$e s*e$$i"% of $ips there *as. She had s#ar#e$y a"y hair o" her o"s a"d "o"e $o*er do*" o" the $ips. That o" her o"s *as #risp. #&r$y. 1ery short. 1ery shi"y. a"d s$i%ht$y darker tha" the hair o" her head. b&t *as so thi" that the *hite f$esh sho*ed thro&%h it. She(d "ot a si%" of hair i" her ar 6pits. ,er #&"t $ooked pretty fro behi"d *he" k"ee$i"%. 'ot a si%" of red *as 1isib$e a"d her b& f&rro* *as s#ar#e$y bro*". ;he" she *ide"ed her thi%hs apart. a $itt$e bit of red 0&st she*ed. The "y phae *ere $itt$e. a"d ra" the *ho$e $e"%th of the #&"t a"d ro&"d it at the b& ho$e e"d. 2 I "oti#ed a$$ #$ose$y a$tho I o"$y sa* her t*i#e. for her #&"t *as &"&s&a$. The o&th of the a1e"&e *as 3&ite $ar%e. i"side it *as easy to y fi"%ers. b&t so fat. p&$py a"d e$asti#. that it fitted y pri#k e!3&isite$y. I f&#ked her t*i#e. the first ti e *ith be$$y to be$$y. a"d the" fro behi"d her. There *as so ethi"% abo&t her *hite b&tto#ks *hi#h e!#ited e to s$ap the *he" f&#ki"% behi"d her. So e *o e"(s e!#ite e to do that. the %reatest "& ber do"(t. I o"$y r&b their b&tto#ks. This &"#o o" #&"t be%at 1ario&s $et#hes. for ea#h #&"t has a differe"t effe#t o" e. I %rasped her fat pad or o"s *ith the pa$ of y ha"d. so that y fi"%ers #o1ered ha$f her "ot#h. a"d y idd$e fi"%ers %ot *e$$ do*" a"d a $itt$e &p her 1a%i"a. I did this sta"di"% behi"d her. both of &s "aked. y be$$y a"d breasts pressi"% her b& a"d ba#k. y $eft ha"d ro&"d her *aist. y ri%ht passed ro&"d to her #&"t. a"d so I fri%%ed her $ooki"% at o&rse$1es i" a
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$itt$e $ooki"% %$ass o" her tab$e. *hi#h o"$y sho*ed abo&t ha$f of &s 2 fro thi%hs &p to *aist 2 I did this to her the se#o"d day. 0&st after *e(d had o&r idday ea$. fri%%ed her ti$$ she said she *as ready to spe"d. a"d the" *e ad0o&r"ed to the bed. 7efore that I(d a &sed yse$f a"other *ay. My tip *as &"&s&a$$y red *he" stiff that day. a"d I $aid it o" her otte. the" o" her b&tto#ks. the" bet*ee" her b&bbies. p$eased *ith the #o"trast of its #ri so" a"d her da--$i"%$y *hite f$esh. She said 4E"%$ish a"(s has f&""y so e tastes.4 2 Yet she *as p$eased *ith the f&". 'e!t day I tra1e$$ed o" to *here $i%ht haired. b$&e eyed. a"d st&rdy $i bed *o e" are the ra#e. a"d "ot a fe* $i%ht haired #&"ts y pri#k e"tered. EI *as yo&"% a"d tra1e$$i"% a$o"e the".F So e say that har$ots are si#k of their b&si"ess. a"d hate the eroti# *hi s a"d fa"#ies to *hi#h they i"is6ter. S&#h is "ot y e!perie"#e. I be$ie1e that ost of the $ike ba&dy tri#ks. a"d that dire#t$y their $&st is ro&sed. 2 easi$y do"e by fi"%er. to"%&e. or ta$k 2 they re0oi#e i" the . 'at&re is the sa e i" the as i" other *o e" *ho *a"t f&#ki"% dai$y. If har$ots are yo&"% a"d *e$$ fed. they *a"t f&#ki"% t*i#e a day. $&st bei"% a$*ays ready $ate"t i" the . L&st de$i%hts i" a$$ that #o#k a"d #&"t #a" do. for those are a%e"ts of i"fi"ite 1o$&pt&o&s de$i%ht fro the #rad$e to the %ra1e. i" both e" a"d *o e". Very i"ti ate a"d frie"d$y I(1e bee" *ith a fe* har6$ots. *ho k"e* e to ha1e "o pre0&di#es. k"e* y eroti# phi$osophy. a"d o" this s&b0e#t ha1e i" ti es of e!pa"sio" a"d #o pa"io"ship ta$ked free$y *ith e. O"e to$d e that e1ery "o* a"d the" *he" she fe$t $e*ed. that the si%ht of a a" *ho took her fa"#y s&dde"$y had s&#h a" effe#t o" her. that she fe$t as if she #o&$d $ay do*" i" the street to $et hi f&#k her. O"e "i%ht at a Fre"#h *o a"(s ho&se 2 *here I ha1e f&rti1e$y see" a"y f&#k her. 2 I sa* a sp$e"did a" tai$ her. ;he" do"e he said he(d $ost his p&rse. )fter a o e"ts tho&%ht. 4'e1er i"d. $et &s kiss a%ai".4 said she. a"d they did. She *as fra"ti# i" her se!&a$ spas . kept hi . ta$ked to hi . s&#ked his pri#k &"ti$ ere#t. a"d a%ai" they f&#ked. I sa* it a$$. %re* *eary of $ooki"%. 2 )fter*ards I *o"dered at her s&b itti"% to his bi$ki"%. 2 4)h yes. b&t *hat a bea& %ar#o". *hat ski". *hat hair. *hat a $o1e$y pri#k 2 did"(t yo& ad ire it/4 The" she *e"t o". 4I tho&%ht fro his a""er he(d b&t $itt$e o"ey. he bra%%ed so. ais9 ;hat a $o1e$y kiss. I $o"%ed for hi dire#t$y he *as "aked.4 It(s a" i$$&stratio". a"d I(1e had a"y s&#h. 'o. har6$ots $ike their o##&patio". $ike a$$ its eroti# a##o pa"y e"ts. spe"di"% ofte" be#o es a "e#essity to the . as shitti"% dai$y is *ith &s a$$. Spe"di"% t*i#e a day be6#o es "eedf&$ for a har$ot. a"y spe"d ore. a"d *ith so e it e"ds i" ad"ess. ,o* ofte" ha1e I heard. 2 4I a$*ays spe"d if I( f&#ked by a a" I $ike.4 2 )%ai". 2 4;ho #a" he$p spe"di"% if a a" %a ah&#hes yo& $o"% / It(s i possib$e to pre1e"t it. yo& thi"k yo& *o"(t a"d yo& try. b&t s&dde"$y #o es p$eas&re a"d yo& $et hi %o o". a"d if a a"(s a $o"% ti e f&#ki"% it(s the sa e.4 the 1ery
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*ords of a 4+a e %a$a"te.4 other*ise *hore. har$ot. str& pet. >aphia". Cypria". or *hate1er e$se yo& ay #a$$ her. #$assi#a$. 1&$%ar. or poeti#a$. The fo$$o*i"% o##&rred *he" I *as t*e"ty6three. I "ear$y destroyed the "arrati1e thi"ki"% it o&%ht "ot to ha1e bee" *ritte". b&t a$$ the a#tors are %o"e $o"% a%o. a"d it "o* t&r"s &p a o"% the papers set aside. The ori%i"a$ *as t*i#e as $o"%. the "otes of t*o years. My a&"t had a $a*" party as she #a$$ed it. ost of the %&ests kept o" the $a*" "ear the ho&se. *here there *as tea. *i"e. a"d shade. Fe* *a$ked abo&t &#h for it *as 1ery hot. ) o"% the *ere t*o %ir$s *ho I *i$$ #a$$ >HH$HHsH". da&%hters of a *ido*er re#e"t$y sett$ed i" the "ei%hbo&rhood. fair$y *e$$ off b&t "ot i!i"% &#h *ith the $o#a$ %e"try ECo&"try so#iety *as e!#$&si1e the".F They *ere *e$$ k"o*". dark eyed a"d ha"dso e. >eop$e said they *ere *hat y a&"t #a$$ed 4ad1e"t&ro&s4 Eor *hat *o&$d be ter ed "o* 4fast4F. They *ere #ertai"$y free. f$irty. a"d 1&$%arish i" a""er. Their father had do"e y a&"t so e ser1i#e he"#e the %ir$s bei"% a o"% her 1isitors. b&t she did"(t $ike the . a"d said she *as s&re that they(d ser1ed i" a shop. They *ere t*o or three a"d t*e"ty years o$d. o"e "a ed )%atha. the other ,e$e". I(d k"o*" the abo&t t*o years. Fred o"$y abo&t a year. ;e had dri1e" the o&t a"d %rad&a$$y had ta$ked so e*hat free$y. se1era$ ti es I(d kissed )%atha a"d Fred had kissed the other. Fro a #o"#ert at the To*" ,a$$ *e *a$ked ho e *ith the o"e "i%ht their father "ot bei"% *ith the . )s *e separated I kissed )%atha. a"d i" doi"% so bei"% ra"dy. #a&%ht her ro&"d her b& *ith o"e ha"d a"d ha"d$ed it %e"t$y a$$ o1er. s3&ee-i"% y be$$y a%ai"st hers for a se#o"d 0&st as I(1e do"e to ser1a"ts. )$$ she said *as. 4+o"(t "o*.4 It *as dark a"d *ithi" si%ht of her father(s door. ;a$ki"% ho e. Fred said he tho&%ht that both *ere %a e. My a&"t said "e!t or"i"% they *ere a"%$i"% for &s 4for*ard i"!es4 a"d *ar"ed &s. 4I(d %i1e fifty po&"ds to f&#k ,e$e".4 said Fred o"e day. 4)"d she(s ra"dy e"o&%h. $ook at her eyes.4 2 )%atha $ooked e3&a$$y 1o$&pt&o&s$y at ti es to e. a"d there *as so ethi"% abo&t her *hi#h a$*ays ade y #o#k sta"d *he" I sa* her. ;e 3&ite a%reed that both *a"ted f&#ki"% b&t had "o idea of atte pti"% it. O&r eeti"%s *ere "ot fre3&e"t. b&t s&ffi#ie"t$y "& ero&s to ha1e %ot free a"d easy *ith the . a"d Fred(s ta$k a"d i"e had %rad&a$$y be#o e #haffi"%$y b&t s&%%esti1e$y a oro&s *he" *e et. a"d #ir#& sta"#es fa1o&red it. There *as a #o$d #o$$atio" at y a&"t(s. a" apo$o%y for a di""er for those *ho $iked to stop. a"d $ots of #ha pa%"e. 2 So e %&ests did"(t stop. so e. i"#$&di"% the t*o %ir$s. did. 2 )%atha took #ha pa%"e free$y. so did I. *e stro$$ed o&t *ith others o" to the $a*" a"d as it %ot #oo$er. *e *e"t f&rther off a"d %rad&a$$y to the $a&re$ *a$k *here *as the bi% pri1y i" *hi#h I(d f&#ked >e"der. I *as so $e*ed that y too$ *as o" ha$f #o#k. 2 I fa"#y she tho&%ht it *as a s& er ho&se. 2 for there *ere t*o *i"do*s i" it 2 a"d she(d "ot bee" i" the *a$k before. I said. 4)h9 I(1e had a $o1e6 aki"% there.4 2
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4;here/4 she asked. 2 4There.4 I rep$ied $a&%hi"%. 2 4Oh9 +o te$$ &s abo&t it.4 2 4I dare"(t. 2 4Oh. do.4 2 4;e ade ea#h other happy.4 2 She $ooked i" y eyes. 2 4'o*. do te$$ e.4 2 4:i1e e a kiss the".4 She ref&sed b&t I took it. a"d *as so $e*ed. so re#k$ess. that *hi$st kissi"% I he$d her. took ho$d of her $eft ha"d *ith y ri%ht. a"d pressed it hard &p a%ai"st y pri#k *hi#h *as sta"di"% &p i" y tro*sers $ike a ro$$i"% pi". 2 4Oh. do"(t 2 so e o"e *i$$ see &s.4 2 She s&b itted to kiss after kiss a"d did"(t *ith6dra* her ha"d. 4I( i" $o1e *ith yo& I thi"k.4 said I. *he" I #eased ho$di"% her ha"d. ,er eyes $ooked soft. her a""er *as #o"f&sed. a"d I tho&%ht that she k"e* *hat her ha"d had bee" pressed a%ai"st. a"d that I k"e* that she k"e* *hat it *as. ;e *a$ked o" ta$ki"% abo&t $o1e. I %etti"% ad for f&#ki"%. *itho&t of #o&rse ha1i"% the $east idea of her he$pi"% e. I(d o"#e before spoke" abo&t her %arters. 2 her sister the" *as prese"t. 2 4;here do yo& %ar6ter/4 said I. 2 4,o* r&de yo& are. I sha"(t te$$ yo&.4 2 4I($$ fi"d o&t.4 2 4'o* do"(t do that 2 there.4 said she. poi"ti"% abo1e her k"ee. It *as #o3&etteish$y do"e. 2 4;hat(s it ade of/4 2 4Si$k. ho* r&de yo& are.4 2 4It is"(t.4 2 4It is.4 2 4Let e see.4 2 I stooped a"d %ot y ha"d o" to her k"ee.4 2 4Oh9 +o"(t "o*. "o* I($$ $ea1e yo&.4 she said. b&t i" 3&ite a $o* to"e. "ot a #ry es#aped her a"d she $ooked a"!io&s$y ro&"d 2 *e *ere the" i" a shr&bbery. 2 4Let(s sit do*".4 She &"hesitati"%$y e"tered *ith e a s& er ho&se *hi#h *as i" the re otest part of the %ro&"ds. "o o"e *as abo&t. a"d *e sat do*". There she be%a" to $e#t&re e abo&t y r&de"ess. said she(d "e1er e!pe#ted it. "or *o&$d she *a$k *ith e a%ai". She *as e!#ited. her fa#e red. 2 4If yo& *o"(t a%ai" I($$ fee$ yo&r %arters "o*.4 2 She $a&%hed. a%ai" I stooped. i" a i"&te. spite of so e *eak str&%%$es. y ha"d *as #$asped bet*ee" her thi%hs 2 she(d "o dra*ers o". 2 She #ried hysteri#a$$y. 4Oho 2 oho 2 it(s sha ef&$.4 a"d *hi pered. I took y ha"d a*ay. the" sa* that she(d shed "o tears a"d that she $ooked #aressi"%$y at e. She did"(t atte pt to %o a*ay fro e. Fri%hte"ed for a i"&te at y o*" te erity a"d s&##ess. the to&#h of her f$esh so #$ose to the hairy $ipped e"tra"#e of her treas&re. $eft e i" a state of fra"ti#. re#k$ess ra"di"ess. I(d "ot had a *o a" for $o"%. y pri#k had bee" stiffe"i"% o" a"d off a$$ day. I had dr&"k &#h #ha pa%"e. so had she. a"d "o*. as *hi peri"% she sat 3&ite sti$$. ta$ki"% abo&t *hat I(d do"e. i"sti"#t I s&ppose to$d e she *as ra"dy a"d ready. I for%ot she *as a $ady. tho&%ht of "othi"% b&t #&"t. a"d atte pted a%ai". She resisted b&t $a&%hed i" a" a"!io&s to"e. 4Oh. s&ppose yo&(re see" "o*. do"(t.4 a"d so o". The" *itho&t a"y idea of f&#ki"% her. b&t si p$y fro desire to sho* her y se!. I p&$$ed o&t y stiff pe%o. 2 4Look.4 said I. 2 4Oh.4 said she. 4*hat a" i"s&$t.4 7&t she $a&%hed as I atte pted a%ai" to fee$ her %arters. &p she %ot. I #a&%ht her by the *aist. kissed her. a"d p&t her ha"d ro&"d y pri#k 2 she(d "o %$o1es o" 2 a"d she he$d it &r &ri"%. 2 4+o"(t "o* 2 $et e %o. 2 I($$ te$$ yo&r a&"t 2 oh do"(t 2 so eo"e *i$$ be #o i"% 2 oh do"(t4 2 as I kept kissi"%. 7&t sti$$
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MY SECRET LIFE

she kept ho$d of y pri#k. a"d her eyes %$a"#ed do*" o" it a"d the" at e. +id she 3&ite k"o* *hat she *as doi"%/ )$tho I *rote this part of the "arrati1e o"e or t*o days after*ards. I #o&$d"(t des#ribe a$$ that the" passed thro&%h y i"d. +esire to fee$ her. f&#k her. 2 fear of #o"se3&e"#es. of her resisti"%. of te$$i"% y a&"t or her father 2 *o"der if she *ere 1ir%i". *hether she *a"ted f&#ki"%. a"d at her bo$d"ess 2 *as it i""o#e"#e. *as I *ro"% i" sed&#i"% her/ 2 )$$ ade a e"ta$ #haos. d&ri"% *hi#h I sat do*". p&$$ed her o" to y k"ee. kissed her. pressed her ha"d a%ai" ro&"d y "aked pe%o. a"d tried &se$ess$y to fee$ her #&"t. ,o* it a$$ #a e abo&t I #a" s#ar#e$y te$$. b&t it did 0&st as "arrated. She &st ha1e e3&a$$y bee" &"der the i"f$&e"#e of $&st. a"d p$eased *ith *hat I *as doi"%. for there she sat o" y k"ee ho$di"% y pe%o *hi#h be%a" to throb. a"d tho it *as a$ ost i per#eptib$y do"e. her ha"d *as o1i"% %e"t$y &p a"d do*" y pri#k. tho perhaps she did "ot k"o* it. My sper *as boi$i"% i" y ba$$s. the desire to spe"d be#a e adde"i"%. I #$asped her ha"d i" i"e ti%hte"i"% hers ro&"d y pri#k a"d fri%%ed. a"d i" a i"&te a$ ost. o&t shot a sho*er of sper . I took a*ay y ha"d fro hers *hi#h sti$$ kept ro&"d y pri#k. a"d she *as $ooki"% do*" at it *he" I re#o1ered fro y p$eas&re. as the $ast drop of sper *as iss&i"%. 4Yo&(1e fri%%ed e. )%atha.4 2 4;hat/4 said she as if asto"ished at the *ord a"d $etti"% %o y too$. 2 4Let e fee$ yo&r #&"t.4 4Oh. for :od sake do"(t 2 oh. $et &s %o 2 *hat *i$$ they thi"k of &s at the ho&se/4 2 4Let e.4 She did"(t say "o. b&t %ot a*ay fro e. 4I($$ "e1er speak to yo& a%ai". a"d for :od sake do"(t te$$ yo&r #o&si" Fred. ;i$$ yo& "o*/ 2 >ro ise e faithf&$$y yo& *o"(t. 2 Oh. *hat ha1e yo& ade e do/ 2 I($$ dro*" yse$f if yo& do"(t pro ise. Oh. yo& bad a".4 2 I pro ised. 4Let e fee$ yo&r %arters.4 2 4I *o"(t.4 2 ;e *e"t to the ho&se *itho&t speaki"% a"d there *as Fred ta$ki"% to the sister. The t*o %ir$s $eft soo" after. ,o* )%atha(s eyes $ooked as *e shook ha"ds. It *as d&sk. ;he" I ref$e#ted o" a$$ the o##&rre"#es "e!t day. I fe$t #o"1i"#ed that the %ir$ had $e*ed$y e%%ed e o". The sa e e1e"i"% I *as as hot as if I(d spe"t. a"d tho&%hts of *hat I had do"e a"d *hat I(d "ot do"e e!ited e so. that I fri%%ed yse$f. fa"#yi"% that her itt$e ha"d *as doi"% it. a"d thi"ki"% of that s$i%ht 5o&#h of her thi%h. 2 The" I *o"dered *here y sper $ad fa$$e". *hether o" the f$oor or o" her dress. I $e1er k"e*. 'e!t or"i"% y a&"t *as a"%ry *ith &s for sho*i"% s&#h atte"tio" to the t*o %ir$s. 4'obodies 2 e1e" if their father has o"ey 2 a"d "e%$e#ti"% other "i#e 5iris here.4 Fred a"d I ta$ked abo&t it after*ards. 2 (;here did yo& %et to *ith )%atha/4 asked he i" a #&rio&s *ay. 4'o*here. *e *a$ked abo&t.4 I *as *i$d to see the %ir$ after that. b&t opport&"ities *ere fe*. I #o&$d"(t %o ofte" to the 1i$$a%e. a"d they *ere "ot ofte" to be et at peop$e(s ho&ses. 2 ) fort6"i%ht e$apsed a"d the" *e et her *ith her sister i" the street. *e shook ha"ds. y #o&si" *a$ked ahead *ith ,e$e". )%atha *a$ked *ith e a"d said.
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VOLUME 11

4Yo& ha1e"(t to$d/4 I s*ore I had"(t a"d "e1er *o&$d. b&t *ished she(d do it a%ai". 2 4Yo&(re sho#ki"%. a"d &st be *i#ked to speak of s&#h a thi"%. to *ish s&#h a thi"%.4 a"d I did"(t a"y ore that day. ) o"th after*ards I(d bee" to Lo"do" a"d $eft Fred there. *he" )%atha #a$$ed o" y a&"t *ith so e essa%e fro her father. )&"t *as 1ery %ra#io&s. a"d se"t y o"$y fe a$e #o&si" the" at ho e. to sho* her the Far . )&"t *as %oi"% o&t *ith y #o&si"s. a"d thi"ki"% the $adies too $o"% %o"e. se"t e to the . They had $eft the far a"d I fo&"d the a*ay "ear a %rotto 2<The history of the doi"%s i" this %rotto years after*ards I(1e to$d.= 4Oh. I(d for%ot. Ma a *i$$ be so a"%ry. *i$$ yo& stop *ith Miss >HHH$HHsH" *hi$e I dress. a"d #o e o" to the ho&se/4 Off she *e"t. y pri#k %a1e a throb. a"d i" a i"&te I(d kissed )%atha a"d %ot her i"to the %rotto. 2 4'o* I($$ fee$ yo&r %arter.4 2 She *as #o$$e#ted a"d rep&$sed y ha"d. b&t I *as ore e"er%eti# a"d hesitated $ess. She had fri%%ed e a"d see" y sper . had "e1er #ried o&t. a"d her *ho$e beha1io&r bee" s&#h. that *itho&t fear I tho&%ht I i%ht e1e" try to f&#k her. 2 So o" I *e"t tryi"% to %et y ha"d &p her #$othes. she s&##essf&$$y defeati"% e. be%%i"%. prayi"%. sayi"% she(d #a$$ y #o&si" b&t "e1er doi"% so. *he" 4,ark9 ,ark94 she said. 3&ite sotto 1o#e. I stopped. heard i" the dista"#e y #o&si"(s 1oi#e 2 #a$$i"% e as I heard after*ards. 2 The 1oi#e #eased. )%atha *as i" a fri%ht. 2 4Oh if she(s see" yo& 2 if she(s heard.4 a"d so o". ;e *ere both start$ed a"d $iste"ed. a"d the" i" that 3&iet p$a#e I heard i" the dista"#e the *hee$s of a #arria%e a"d k"e* their so&"d. 4)&"t(s %o"e o&t dri1i"%.4 said I. a"d i ediate$y be%a" the atta#k a%ai". She *as "o* i" fear a"d did"(t ea" e to fee$ her #&"t. *hi#h *as "o* y i"te"tio". I"deed a$$ see ed possib$e. the e!#ite e"t had raised y $&st hi%h. *e *ere a$o"e a"d had "othi"% to fear b&t the #ha"#e of a %arde"er #o i"%. She(d see" y pri#k o"#e. a"d a%ai" I prod&#ed it ba$$s a"d a$$ "o*. 4Look )%atha. fee$ it a%ai".4 2 I desisted fro y atte pts. thi"ki"% the si%ht of the a#hi"e *o&$d affe#t her a"d ake her #o p$aisa"t. 2 4Fee$ it.4 2 4I sha"(t4 a"d she $a&%hed as I tho&%ht stra"%e$y. 2 4+o this.4 said I. fri%%i"% it. 2 4I sha"(t. yo&r beha1io&r is sha ef&$.4 2 The" she *e"t off i"to a hysteri#a$ pea$ of $a&%hter. ) fe* ore *ords a"d I #$osed o" her. she retreated a%ai"st the *a$$ a"d o&r $as#i1io&s str&%%$es re#o e"#ed. 4I *i$$.4 2 4Yo& sha"(t.4 I p&$$ed her petti#oats &p to her k"ees. she p&shed the do*". spoke. she #ried. b&t a$*ays i" a $o* to"e sho*i"% fear of s&rprise. *hi#h %a1e e #o&ra%e. ti$$ y ha"d *as o" her thi%hs "ear to her #&"t. *he" 1io$e"t$y she dis$od%ed it a"d #ried $o&d$y. 2 4Oh do"(t. yo& "e1er sha$$ 2 $ea1e off 2 yo& *i$$ if yo&(re a %e"t$e a" 2 oh 2 "o* 2 it(s sha ef&$. yo& take a ea" ad1a"ta%e *he" there(s "o o"e to prote#t e.4 2 My fi"%ers 0&st fe$t the hair of her otte. as she p&shed e off a"d b&rst i"to tears. 4Re e 2 ber 2 I( 2 ah 2 a $ady 2 aha.4 she sobbed. *hi#h to&#hed e a"d I #eased.
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7&t y pri#k *as sti$$ o&t 2 I re#o$$e#ted *hat she(d a$ready do"e a"d that she(d ade "o "oise. I *as *i$d *ith se!&a$ passio". a"d after a se#o"d or t*o said. 2 4Fee$ it the".4 2 4;i$$ yo& the" $ea1e off/4 2 4Yes.4 2 she took ho$d of it as I p&t it i"to her soft *hite ha"d. a"d as I fe$t its s ooth"ess. a"d sa* the r&by tip protr&#i"% fro her $itt$e fist a"d she $ooki"% do*" at the i p$e e"t of fe a$e p$eas&re. I "ear$y spe"t. 7&t i"te"tio" a%ai" #a e of fee$i"% her #&"t. to %et y fi"6%ers bet*ee" the soft *ar $ips *hi$st she ha"d$ed y pe%o. The" I had #o"f$i#ti"% se"satio"s. 2 So e o"e i%ht #o e 2 *as she 1ir%i"/ She *as a $ady a"d y a#tio" *as ea". a"d spite of y $&st I hesitated a"d stood otio"$ess. she ho$di"% y pri#k a"d $ooki"% i" y fa#e. 2 4+o *hat yo& did that after"oo".4 2 4I do"(t k"o* *hat I did.4 2 4+o this.4 a"d I passed her ha"d &p a"d do*" y pri#k. She be%a" s$o*$y. ho* y pri#k re#ipro#ated. I took her ro&"d the *aist a"d kissed her #heek. *hi$st %e"t$y b&t #$& si$y she fri%%ed. a"d thi"ki"% of her #&"t. $o"%i"% to f&#k her. I &r &red y desires for her i" the ba&diest $a"%&a%e. 4Oho9 2Yo&(re dreadf&$.4 said she. The" o&t sp&rted y sper . I #$&t#hed her ha"d a"d he$d it i" i"e *hi$st *ithdra*i"% y pri#k thro&%h hers. so that the $ast of y spe"di"%s fe$$ o" her fi"%ers. 2 It %a1e e the &t ost $as#i1io&s de$i%ht to k"o* it had *etted the . as I si%hed. 4That o&%ht to be 2 aha 2 i" yo&r 2 #&"t.4 She $et %o y pri#k. $ooked at e *ith *i$d$y 1o$&pt&o&s eyes. the" at her ha"d. the" $ooked ro&"d to see if a"y o"e *as "ear. 2 I( s&re fro her $ook a"d a""er that she *as dyi"% to be f&#ked. a"d had I bee" i" #o"ditio" perhaps i%ht ha1e atte pted it. b&t y pri#k *as shri"ki"%. 2 She $ooked at it a%ai". I *iped her fi"%ers *ith y ha"dker#hief. she $et e do it "ot see i"% to k"o* *hat she *as abo&t. ti$$. 2 4Oh 2 I( so iserab$e 2 for :od sake 2 "e1er te$$ a"y o"e. 2 ;i$$ yo& "o*/ 2 yo& bro&%ht e here for this 2 did"(t yo&/4 2 I s*ore I(d "e1er te$$. a"d rap6id$y a"d *itho&t a"other *ord *e *a$ked to the ,a$$. 2 4;here(s y a&"t/4 2 4:o"e o&t i" the #arria%e Sir. a fe* i"&tes a%o.4 2 4Oh94 said )%atha. 4I( so sorry. te$$ her *i$$ yo&/4 I shook ha"ds *ith that ha"d *hi#h had had y sper i" it. a"d off she *e"t. I to$d )&"t at di""er that *e(d arri1ed 0&st as she %ot o&t of si%ht. 2 4It(s a pity. I(d ha1e dri1e" her ho e.4 *as a$$ she rep$ied. )%atha "e1er a%ai" %a1e e a #ha"#e of bei"% a$o"e e1e" to speak *ith her. a"d I *as ost$y i" Lo"do". 2 O"e "i%ht Fred a"d I. s oki"% i" y #ha bers. o&r #o"1ersatio" fe$$ o" these %ir$s. a"d $itt$e by $itt$e *e dis#$osed to ea#h other. ,e(d kissed the both a"d had tried to fee$ ,e$e" &"s&##essf&$$y. 2 4Yet she *a"ts f&#ki"% so.4 2 )%atha he(d a$so tried. a"d the" I to$d hi she(d fri%%ed e. 2 4)"d so she did e at H H H H H.4 said he. $a&%hi"% a"d s$appi"% his thi%h. 2 )%atha had f ri%%ed &s both 2 I *o"der ho* a"y other e" she(d fri%%ed. ;he" after y fri%%i"% *e et the %ir$s )%atha a$*ays $ooked e"3&iri"%$y a"d see ed &"#o fortab$e. T*o or three years after*ards the fa i$y $eft the "ei%hbo&rhood. I *as the" a poor a" a"d rare$y *e"t to y a&"t(s. a"d Fred
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VOLUME 11

*as abroad. EThe episode o##&rred *he" I *as abo&t t*e"ty6fi1e. a"d the "arrati1e *as at o"e ti e "ear$y b&r"t.F I had a" a#3&ai"ta"#e "a ed H H H HH H H. *ho had a $o1e$y #reat&re for *ife. b$&e eyed. 1ery $i%ht #hest"&t hair. p$& p as a partrid%e a"d abo&t t*e"ty6si! or 6se1e" years o$d. She had %i1e" *ay to dri"ki"%. so e said o*i"% to do esti# a""oya"#e. b&t that has "othi"% to do *ith the episode. I" s& er *ith si! or ei%ht e" *ho had dri1e" do*" to H H H H abo&t #o&"try b&si"ess I *as to di"e. a"d 0oi"ed the $ater at a s a$$. si p$e. yet *e$$ k"o*" #o&"try i"" abo&t fo&rtee" i$es off. ;he" I %ot there a$$ *ere i" the %arde" readi"%. s oki"%. a"d a*aiti"% di""er. 2 O"e of the *ho a$so k"e* the #o&p$e said to e. $a&%hi"%. 4There(s Mrs. H H H H H H H here ti%ht as peep. She(s bee" o&t dri1i"% *ith her brother a"d his *ife. they(1e %o"e to HHHH a"d are #o i"% ba#k to di"e.4 There the #o"1ersatio" e"ded a"d I tho&%ht "o ore abo&t the atter. O&r party had *ashed after their $o"% dri1e. I had "ot. *e"t i" a"d &p stairs e!pe#ti"% as &s&a$ to fi"d a #ha ber aid to sho* e a bedroo to *ash i". EIt *as a s a$$ i"" a"d before the days of $a1atories.F 'ot seei"% the #ha ber aid. a"d after #a$$i"% o&t a"d "o o"e a"s*eri"%. I ope"ed a bedroo door. a"d there Mrs. H H H H H H H to y asto"ish e"t stood. ha1i"% 0&st rise" fro a "i%ht #o ode i" *hi#h she had pidd$ed. *ith her petti#oats i" fro"t he$d &p i" a b&"#h sho*i"% both $e%s to abo1e her %arters. *hi$st i" her rear her #$othes *ere dra%%i"% ha1i"% dropped a"d #a&%ht i" the aho%a"y #o ode. 'o *ay abashed. 2 4Look here. oh. p&$$ it a*ay 2 do 2 ho* d(ye do 2 Oh. oh.4 said she. t&%%i"% a"d sti$$ keepi"% her #$othes &p i" fro"t. s*ayi"% a $itt$e a"d #h&#k$i"% i" a tipsy *ay. ,er fa#e *as f$&shed. a"d I sa* at o"#e that she *as ti%ht a"d had bee" $yi"% o" the bed. ) r&sh of $&st #a e. y pri#k rose stiff at the si%ht of the bea&tif&$ pair of $e%s. a"d i"sti"#t to$d e I #o&$d ha1e her 2 I sho&$d ha1e re1o$ted at a"y i"te"tio" had I ref$e#ted. b&t a sta"di"% pri#k has "o #o"s#ie"#e. I tho&%ht of "othi"% b&t ho* to f&#k her. those $o1e$y $e%s. those $a#ed petti#oats &pset e. a"d i" $ess ti e tha" it takes to *rite t*o $i"es of this "arrati1e. I(d #$osed the door a"d *as assisti"% to free her #$othes. 4,a1e yo& see" @a#k/4 <her brother= sta ered she. #h&#k$i"%. 2 4Oh 2 do"(t do that 2 $et e 2 $ie do*".4 she & b$ed. for as I dise"%a%ed her #$othes *ith o"e ha"d. I passed y other &p bet*ee" a pair of fat soft thi%hs to her #&"t. a"d *e$$ bet*ee" its $ips. 2 I *as as *et as a op. 2 4Oh do"(t yo& 2 oh "o*. 2 ,o 2 ho @a#k(s #o i"% 2 Oh do"(t.4 24Let &s do it.4 2 4,e 2 he 2 he.4 2 she #h&#k$ed. 2 4'o 2 oho.4 6 (Let e f&#k yo&.4 2 4Oh do"(t 2 "o*. 2 ,e he 2 he 2 $ea1e it a$o"e.4 a"d she sat do*" o" the bed ed%e for a i"&te. $etti"% e fi"%er her 3&i *itho&t hi"dra"#e. a"d the" fe$$ ba#k. )s she fe$$ I thre* &p her #$othes to her "a1e$. She #h&#k$ed sti$$ as if it *as a %ood 0oke. 2 4I($$ f&#k yo&.4 2 4Oh "o. yo& &st"(t.4 a"d she raised herse$f part$y &p. My stiff pri#k *as the" o&t. 4,o 2 ho 2 ho.4 said she. $ayi"% ho$d
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of it. a"d fe$$ ba#k a%ai" #h&#k$i"% tipsi$y. 7efore the *ords *ere o&t of her o&th y pri#k *as b&ried &p to its ba$$s i" her #&"t 2 a $o1e$y $ooki"% "ot#h 2 a"d she *as $yi"% *ith eyes #$osed e"0oyi"% the p$&%%i"%. I $ifted her thi%hs the". a"d f&#ked *ith the 0oy of a f&$$ ba$$o#ks. i ediate$y sy patheti#. re#ipro#a$ o1e e"ts of her #&"t a"d b&tto#ks be%a". 2 She *as hot there. 2 4)h9 F&#k.4 I si%hed. 4Yhes. f&#k 2 I( a#o ( 2 ahar.4 she &r &red. ope"i"% her eyes *ide a"d stari"% at e for a" i"sta"t. the" #$osi"% the she 0erked *e$$ &p her b& a"d spe"t. as I fi$$ed her #&"t *ith y sper . I *as f&$$ that day a"d the f&#k *as a short o"e. I(d s#ar#e$y spe"t *he" #a e a k"o#k at the door. 2 it *as"(t $o#ked. 2 My :od. *e are #a&%ht. tho&%ht I. the" *ithdre* y pri#k %i1i"% her a 1io$e"t shake of her thi%hs to ro&se her. 0&st as a $o&der se#o"d k"o#k #a e a"d a fe a$e 1oi#e. 4Sha$$ I bri"% yo& a #&p of tea Ma /4 2 The f&#k a"d the f&" had a $itt$e sobered her. she $ooked at e as I stood by the door %esti#&$ati"% 2 y pri#k sti$$ o&t. 2 4;harte.4 2 she said i" a dr&"ke" & b$e. 2 4Sha$$ I bri"% yo& so e tea/4 2 I shook y head. 2 4'oo.4 she & b$ed 2 I heard foot steps retreati"%. bo$ted the door. a"d *iped y fa#e. do*" *hi#h perspiratio" *as tri#k$i"%. She be%a" fee$i"% her head as if to arra"%e her hair. 2 4Oh. *hat ha1e *e do"e/ @a#k *i$$ be ba#k.4 2 She stared at e. a"d I at her. for i" tr&th I *as a$so be*i$dered. a$$ had take" p$a#e i" si! or se1e" i"&tes. a"d it see ed a drea 2 a"d the" the risk9 2 ;itho&t a"other *ord I he$ped her &p. a"d she sat *ith $e%s &"#o1ered to her %arters o" the bed side. s i$i"% tipsi$y. )s I %ot #o posed. a 1io$e"t desire for her a%ai" #a e o" a"d I sat by her. 4Oh9 ;hat ha1e yo& ade e do/4 4I(1e f&#ked yo&. $et e a%ai".4 2 4Oh. it(s dreadf&$4 she & b$ed. yet she #h&#k$ed. a"d as I p&t her ha"d o" y pri#k. she $a&%hed a tipsy $a&%h a%ai" a"d %reedi$y fe$t it. 4Oh do"(t 2 "o4 2 as y fi"%ers fe$t her %$&ey 3&i a"d fri%%ed it. She &st ha1e had a thirsty #&"t. for she soo" %ripped y pri#k. a"d fe$t y titi$$atio". 2 4Let(s f&#k dear/4 2 4Oh. "o. @a#k(s #o i"% ba#k. 2 Oh. "o 2 "o.4 2 b&t as she said 4'o.4 she t&r"ed her $ips $o1i"%$y to i"e. as if she #o&$d"(t he$p it. 2 She *as &"der the do i"io" of $&st. a"d yie$di"%. s#ar#e$y k"o*i"% *hat she did. %raspi"% y pri#k sti$$ *hi#h stiffe"ed pro&d$y. as I p&shed her %e"t$y ba#k. 2 4'o 2 "o 2 "o.4 2 she #h&#k$ed as she fe$$ i"to the sa e positio". I thre* &p her #$othes. she at o"#e ope"ed her thi%hs *ide to re#ei1e e. sp&"k *as a$$ o1er the a"d ra" fro her #&"t as y pri#k *e"t &p it a"d I had o"e of the ost de$i#io&s f&#ks. tho this a$so *as soo" o1er. fear of bei"% #a&%ht a"d of $osi"% y ear$y stiff"ess. of issi"% the #ha"#e of spe"di"% i" that di1i"e 3&i ade e h&rry. I ra ed 3&i#k$y a"d hard as a stea e"%i"e. e"#o&ra%i"% her a"d y6se$f by ba&dy *ords ti$$ I s&"k i" E$ysi& o" her be$$y. *hi$st the s3&ee-e a"d os#i$$atio" of her #&"t a"d b& #a e o" at the sa e o e"t. )"!iety to %et a*ay for both o&t sakes. ade e *ithdra* y pri#k sti$$ yie$di"% &p its ba$ y $i3&id. I ade her the" $ay a$o"% the bed. a"d she i"sta"t$y *e"t off to s$eep. I ope"ed the door a"d %ot off &"6obser1ed. I(d
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VOLUME 11

"e1er take" off y hat e1e" *he" f&#ki"%. a"d &st ha1e do"e her t*i#e i" a 3&arter of a" ho&r. ;he" I re0oi"ed y frie"ds. 4,o* hot yo& are.4 said o"e. I %a1e so e e"da#io&s reaso" for it. I f&#ked her at ha$f past fo&r a"d a" ho&r after. @a#k. *ho I k"e*. #a e. a"d to$d e his sister had bee" &pset by the stro"% s&". I" the e1e"i"% o&r party dro1e ho e. @a#k *as departi"% 0&st as *e *ere. a"d &"fort&"ate$y o&t #a e Mrs. H H H H H H. sober. I a##osted her of #o&rse as if I(d "ot see" her before. a"d "e1er fe$t i" %reater diffi#&$ty. for I tho&%ht of her $o1e$y #hest"&t fri"%ed #&"t as I spoke. She *as #o"f&sed. ho* she $ooked at e. I he$ped her a"d sister i" $a* i"to the #arria%e. a"d y #o#k stood as I sa* her pretty feet a"d fa"#ied I s e$t her. ;he" o&r party %ot to the *est e"d. I a$i%hted a"d fo$$o*ed f$ashy *hores ti$$ I %ot a "i#e o"e. )$$ the e1e"i"% y #o#k had stood at i"ter1a$s thro re#o$$e#tio". a"d I tho&%ht of "othi"% e$se as I f&#ked the har$ot i" the sa e attit&de as I e 6bra#ed Mrs. H H H H i". I sh&t y eyes. &sed the sa e ba&dy e0a#&$atio"s. a"d fa"#ied s&##essf&$$y that it *as Mrs. H H H H H *ho I *as f&#ki"%. EI fi"d fro s&bse3&e"t e ora"da. that this a o&r of t*e"ty i"&tes fi$$ed y brai" $o"% after*ards. a"d that at ti es I sh&t y eyes *hi$st f&#ki"% a"d tho&%ht of Mrs. H H H H. Idea$ities ha1e a$*ays he$ped e i" se!&a$ e"0oy e"ts. ;he" poor a"d I had *o e" for fi1e shi$$i"%s. I &sed to #$ose y eyes a"d fa"#y I *as e"0oyi"% fe a$es of hi%her #$ass.F <I sa* Mrs. H H H H for the first ti e abo&t si! o"ths after*ards. She a$*ays a1oided e. 'e1erthe$ess I o"#e a$$&ded to it. tho I k"e* I o&%ht "ot. 4+o yo& re6 e ber bei"% at H H H H.4 I be%a". "a i"% the p$a#e. 4Yo& o&%ht "e1er to refer to it.4 said she. %etti"% &p a"d $ea1i"% e o" so e prete!t. I "oti#ed that *he" after*ards *e et i" so#iety she *as a$*ays i" a f&rti1e *ay $ooki"% at e. 2 She died t*o or three years after of typhoid fe1er.F T,E E'+.

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