Making Bad Relationships Good

&
Good Relationships Better

Nowonderwehavepeopeprobems

75%ofpopuatonsaredherentfrom
you.

Notworse.Notbetter.ButDherenty.

Abtytoreatewetopeopesa
crtcafactorforsuccess.

80%ofempoyeerngduetopoor
nterpersonareatonshp

Makethedherenceworkforyou
thanaganstyou.
Peopearemorepredctabethanwethnk

Whats style?

Patternofassertveandresponsve
habtuabehavor.

Thngswedorepeatedyand
unntentonay.
People are not robots

Wedon'tdothesamebehavor

Wedothesametypeofbehavor
We behave very m!h "ith
!onsisten!y:

Youcanpredctwhatwearekeytodo

Butwearedeangwthprobabtesnot
certantes
WhatsyourStye?

Sef-knowedgesthebegnnng
ofwsdom.

Yourstyes:
-Nothowyouseeyoursef
-Howpeopeseeyou

Threeanmasqueston!
#ssertiveness
&
Responsiveness
TwoKeystoUnderstandngPeope
Less
assertive
Lessenergy
Movesower
Gestureess
Lessntenseeye
contact
Leanbackward
Speakssow
Lessrsk-orented
Less
confrontatona
Taketmeto
decde
Demonstrate
angeress
More assertive
Moreenergy
Movefaster
Gesturemore
Intenseeyecontact
Leanforward
Speakqucker
arerskorented
more
confrontatona
decdequcky
demonstrateangry
qucker

$% #ssertiveness&
Degreetowhchone'sbehavorsseendrectveorforcefu.
Moreassertvedoesn'tmeanAggressve(useofstye)
LessassertvesnotSubmssve.
#ssertiveness
Seengyoursefasothersseeyou
More
assertve
More
assertve
Less
assertve
Less
assertve
TwoKeystoUnderstandngPeope
'% Responsiveness&
Degreetowhchone'sbehavorsseenshownghsorher
emotonsanddemonstrateawarenessofothers
Moreresponsvedoesn'tmean(Lettahangout).
Emotonaycontroeddoesn'tmeantheydon'thaveEmotons.
More Responsive

Expressfeengmore
openy.
appearmorefrendy.
Morefacaexpresson

Morevocanecton.
Usemorestores.
Morepeope-orented.
Preferworkngwth
peope(

Less Responsive
LessDscosngof
feeng
Appearmore
preserved.
Lessfacaexpresson.

Lessvocanecton
Usemorefactsand
ogc.
Moretaskorented.
Preferworkngaone.
Responsiveness
Seengyoursefasothersseeyou

More
responsveness
Less
responsveness
Howtodentfyapersonsstye
Styedentcatonsearnngpeopethrough
Observaton
Behavorsobservabenotkennerquatesasvaues,
beefs,tradtons,motves.

Behavior
pattern
)ess assertive More assertive
Amountof
takng
Less More
Rateofspeakng Sower Faster
Vocevoume Softer Louder
Bodymovement Less,sower More,faster
Posture Leanbackward Leanforward
Gesture Less More
1-

Leve
l

of

Asser
t
i
v
eness

Howtodentfyapersonsstye
2-
L
e
v
e
l
o
f
R
e
s
p
o
n
s
i
v
e
n
e
s
s
Behavior pattern )ess responsive More responsive
Facaanmaton Less More
Isteasyforanyone
tonotceyour
emotonastatus,
happy,sad???
No yes
Vocevaraton Less More
Expressngther
feeng
Less More
Orentaton Task Peope
Showngnterestn
othersfeengs
Less More
SeengyoursefasothersSeeYou

#nalyti!al
#nalyti!al
More assertive
More assertive
)ess
responsive
)ess
responsive
less assertive
less assertive
More
responsive
More
responsive
*river
*river
#miable
#miable
+,pressive
+,pressive
FourPathstoSuccess
Remember&
Youcan'tchangeyourdomnantstye
Yourstyes|ustapartofwhoyouare
Youaredherentfromothersnyourstye(Mohamed
AandBCntonarebothExpressvebutdherent)
Acceptaotherstyes
Ittakesa'styestomakeanehectveorganzaton

%-hoght man .#nalyti!al/ %#!tion man
.*river/
%People man .#miable/ %0ront man
.+,pressive/
Eachstyesgoodandcanbeaeader
Varetyaddsspcetove.
1tyles
Drver
Veryresutfocus.
Goa-orented.
Acton-takers(evenftheyare55%sure)
"Youwnsome,Youosesome"
Amazngytheytendtochangethermndfast.
Wakandmovesfastthanotherpeope.
Veryserousfacaexpresson.
Tendtohdetherfeeng.
Therstyetendstontmdatepeope.
Strongeyecontact.
Themostforcefu.
Theyookveryserousmostofthetme.
Pokerface.
Expressve
Mostenergetc.
Lketobethecenterofattracton
Theydontketospendtooongtmenonepace.
En|oytobewheretheactons.
Awaysawayfromtherdesks.
Awaysusngnonverbacommuncatonandgesture.
Veryongeyecontact.
Mostoutgong.
Reateeasytostrangers
Haveotsoffrends.
Awaysnvtespeopetounchandsports.
Preferworkwthpeope.
Theyaredreameranden|oyhghmagnaton.
Hatedetas,ookatthebgpcture.
Impusveandspontaneous.
Expressve..cont..

Lvenemotonaroer-coaster.

Lastmnuteapproachatdeadne.

Funseeker,payfu,humor.

Makeworkmorefun.

Whentak,whoebody|onn.

Theymayturnpeopeohwththerone
sdeconversaton.

Thnkoutoudandfast.

Greatstoryteers.

Peopeorented.

Veryopnonatve.
Amabe
Teampayer.
Encourageothertoexpandontheropnon.
Opentoopnon.
Verygenerousnthertme.
Unsesh.
Extremeyfrendy.
Peopeorentedtendtobutreatonshpmoreeasy.
Morenterestednhearngyourconcernthen
expressngown.
Senstvetootherpeopesfeeng.
Performbestfyoudentfythemtherroe.
Theymghtbedstractedfromworkbyreatonmore
topeopesprobem.
Somearebetteratcreatngorganzatonwhe
amabearebetteratmantanngorganzaton.
Whenrsksnvoved,theydeaytakngdecsons.
Amabe..cont..

Theytendtoprefertohearfrompeope
thenreadngtherememo.

Verypatentwthpeopeand
organzaton.

Whenangry,verysowtoforgveand
forget.

Warmvoceowvoume,speaksowy.

Dresswhatpeopeke.

Tendtoavoddrectanswer.

Dsketoconct.

Asmanager,theyareverytoeratngto
empoyeesnadequateperformance.

Theyavoduseauthortyatwork.
Analytical

Mostperfectonst
Theywantthngtobeawaysrght.
Setveryhghstandard.

Wngtodotmeconsumngwork.
Seektoacheveandexceedstandard.
Paymatchattentontodetas.

Bgncrtcsmandowoncompment.
Varysystemcandwe-organzed.
Atbest,theybuthghyehectvesystem.

Atworst,theygeneratebureaucracysystem.
Verytaskorented.
Theywanttocertanbeforetakngdecson.

Lketobeaoneandpreferworkaone.
Dressconservatvey.
Analytical..cont..

Bodyanguagesveryow:speaksowy,
esseyecontactandfacaexpresson.

Leanbackoncharwhenmakngdecson.

Theyarethequetst.Thnkbeforetak.

Verysowondeadne.Becausetheseek
perfecton.

Focusonanayssandthentakng
decson.

Breakpontnto1
st
.2
nd
,3
rd
...etc.

Takaboutthefactthenthefeeng.
2nder stress
Ba!kp
StyesunderStress
Peopeboatdherentdegreeandactdherentunder
stress.
Weadeveopbackupstyeunderstress.
B#342P 15)+:sstyeofbehavorwedeveopunder
stresstoreveexcessstress.
Backupactassafetyvavethatreeaseexcessstress.
1tyle Primary ba!kp
+,pressive Attack
*river Autocratc
#miable Compy
#nalyti!al avod
Drverbackup:Autocratc
Under severe stress driver tend
to do :
Becomeverycontrong.
Imposetherpan,therthoughts.
Rareyapoogzefortheracton.
Actevenquckerandrequre
peopetoactatthesamespeed.
Expressvebackup:attack
Under severe stress
Expressive tend to do :
Bomuchqucker.
Focustherfrustratonon
peope.
Speaknoudvoce.
Admtthermstakeandcoo-
ohfast.
Amabebackup:Compy
Under severe stress Amiable
tend to do :

Becomemoreagreeabe
"sure,tsok,thateveryou
want"

Agreetoavodconctnot
becausetheyareconvnced.

Verysowtoforgveand
forget.

Itsveryhardtoknowfthey
arenbackupbutyou|ust
feetheressomethngwrong
.
Anaytcabackup:Avod.
Under severe stress analytical
tend to do :

Avodconct.

Avodpersonanvovement
andemotonaexpresson.

Lketobeaone.

Bengunemotonasbetter
thanmakngscene.
SecondarybackupStye

Secondary backup Style:

Ifstresscontnueandnever
revedpeopetendtoactna
waythatstotayreversaofther
prmarybackup.
1tyle Primary
ba!kp
1e!ondary
ba!kp
Expressive Attack compy
river Beautocratc Avod
Amiable Compy attack
Analytical avod Beautocratc
*amage
3ontrol
Damagecontro:
When yo are in ba!kp&

Backupbehavorsometmecause
damage.

Theresthreethngwecandoto
mtthsdamage.
1. Emnateasmuchstressasyou
can.
2. Lmtnterpersonadamage:
emnatesomemeetngs.
3. Dontmakemportantdecson
whenbackup.
Damagecontro:
When others are in ba!kp&
!"en ot"ers around you are in
backup remember:
1. Expect that they will not be at their
best.
2. Detect when other in backup.
3. Avoid getting hooked by others backup.
. Don!t try to prevent person "ro# using
backup behavior.
$. Avoid doing business with people in
backup.
AwaysRemember

Knowng yoursef s the rst step of

budnggoodreatonshpswthothers.

Understandng others stye w hep you

to predct them and bud common
groundwththem.

Knowng how you act under stress w

hep you to manage your stress and
othersstress.

Trytodetermnewhodoyouknowadopt
whchstye.
1trengt
h and
"eakne
ss
Drver'sStrengths

2sed "ell &

strength
6versed&
"eakness
Move 7 make it
happen
#to!rati!
8ndependent Poor !ollaborator
Reslt oriented 8mpersonal
3andid #brasive
Pragmati! . hard
headed /
1hort sighted
ExpressvesStrengths

2sed "ell &

strength
6versed&
"eakness
1pontaneos 9ard to "ork
"ith
#rti!late
. :asee; /
Poor listener
0ast pa!ed 8mpatient
<isionary 8mpra!ti!al
0n%loving *istra!ting
AmabesStrengths

2sed "ell &

strength
6versed&
"eakness
*iplomati! 3on=i!t avoider
1pportive Permissive
. lenient /
People%oriented 8nattentive to
task
AnaytcasStrengths
2sed "ell &
strength
6versed&
"eakness
3atios 8nde!isive
!are:l >itpi!ky
-ask%oriented 8mpersonal
1ystemati! Brea!rati!
StyesTest

#nalyti!a
l
#nalyti!a
l
More
assertve
More
assertve
Less
responsve
Less
responsve
ess
assertve
ess
assertve
More
responsve
More
responsve
*river
*river
#miable
#miable
+,pressi
ve
+,pressi
ve
0le,ing
FourStepstoBetterReatonshps

Whenreatonshpsnotgongsowe,
don'tdomuchofthesame;try
somethngdherent
# $o% to &lex:
$( 8denti:y:yourstyeandtheother
personstye.
'( Plan:seect2-3typesofbehavorsthat
youcoudusedherentytogetnsync
wthhm/her
?( #pplythosechangesthatyouseectn
yourmeetngwththeperson
@( +valate:revewtheprocessand
outcome
ForDrversony:HowtoFextoEachStye
ForExpressveOnyHowtoFextoEachStye
ForAmabeOny:HowtoFextoEachStye
ForAnaytcaOny:HowtoFextoEach
Stye
FexngYourseftoOthers'Styes

More assertive
More assertive
)ess
responsive
)ess
responsive
less
assertive
less
assertive
More
responsive
More
responsive
analyti!al analyti!al analyti!al analyti!al analyti!al driver analyti!al driver
analyti!al amiable analyti!al amiable
anaytcaexperssve anaytcaexperssve
FexngnSpecaStuatons
% &lexing to your #anager:
1-Observeyourmanagerbehavor.
2-Askhm/her"Howwoudyoukemetowork
wthyou?"

% &lexing to people you #ange
1-Gvethemfreedomtocaptazeonther
strengthsbyusngtherstyes
2-Fexnteammeetngs

&lex in a group (Identfy,Pan,Impementand
Evauate)
FexngnSpecaStuatons
Styecashwthpeopeofthe
samestye:
1tyle 3lash reslt #!tion
-"o% driver Power
strugge
Oneexto
amabe
-"o%
e,pressive
Centerof
stage
Oneexto
anaytca
-"o% amiable Noacton Oneextodrver
-"o% analyti!al Indecsveness Oneexto
expressve
ThreeKeystoGoodReatonshps

Respect:
Respectbecausetheotherndvduasa
person.

&airness&
1. AmIusngwn-wnapproach(Me&
'ou( notmeoryou)
2. woudIbewngtobetherecpentof
myacton?

$onesty&
Honestpeope!onsistently dothreethngs:
1. Refusetomakemseadng
nformaton,don'te.
2. Theydon'twthhodmportant
nformaton.
3. Aregenune,theydon'tseemtobe
otherthanwhotheyreayare
AwaysRemember

*o build good relations you

should ac+uire 3 abilities:
1. Identfyyourstyeandstyes
ofapeopearoundyou.
2. Fextoeachstyeofpeope
aroundyouandteachthem
howtoextoyours.
3. Doathatwthrespect
FarnessandHonestywth
peope.
Specathanks:

MohamedAbdehamd.

MohamedSobhyA-
Shony.

ShrefA.

"MayAahMakeAofUsReateWe
ToPeope"
HopeThsPresentatonWasBeneca
toAofYou
ThankYou


Mo"amed $ossam El idy
!ritten by Abdulr"man 'anta%y