Pt.1 - Hello Reader!

,
I take it youve found my site either by chance, through my teachers twitter, or out of a
curiosity for my work, if its the latter youve come to the right place. Either way I hope I can peak
your interest. I began class September 5th 2014 and as all of the students were meant to create
a website I saw this as a chance to display my creativity in as many forms as I could. From the
beginning I worked to stand out with my site, putting in excessive work to make it visually
appealing. Using my past experience with site building and some of the art forms Id worked
with before class began I believe I accomplished what I set out to do.
In previous years in school I was held back by this idea that I could never live up to the
norm, that I could never live up to what was expected of me. I set the bar so low in attempts to
avoid disappointing myself and those around me; just doing as well as expected. Id always had
issues in school, unable to justify learning for the sake of learning and eventually I led myself to
believe that that was who I was and that I couldnt change. I alienated myself in attempts to not
conform, believing that I was a different breed, that nothing that would work normally would
work for me. This negativity set me up to fail and ultimately led me to waste a whole year of
college, failing most of my classes and rarely showing up.
Though I may say Ive wasted a whole year I dont believe thats truly the right word, I
took something from my shortcomings. I found a desire to change, a want to succeed, a
realization that who I was was a choice, not a definate. I didnt have to be that way.
I came to school this year with a desire to impress, not just my teachers, not just my
peers, but myself, something that Id never had before. Ive spent the summer trying to find
where I fit into this world around me and at times it felt like I never would. Through much self
examination and a force of will to change I believe Ive found the motivation I was always
lacking and it lies within the words I write as well as the lines in between. Ive found a passion
that was always with me, it was just hidden beneath mounds of self doubt and it took me
stopping and re-examining how Id been living to see it. Id always been hesitant to life; to
change; and that held me back much more than it propelled me, It seemed that I was always
fighting the natural flow of life with the idea that I was different and didnt fit the mold but what
Ive found is that everyones different, no one fits any mold so you have to make your own.
Thus far in the semester Ive used this idea of why not to propel me as why has only
ever held me back. With this Ive attempted to meet the requirements to every assignment so
far, whereas at times I used to fold and admit defeat before Id even start an assignment Ive
come to give everything a chance, not settling for anything but the best of my ability. Even with
assignments Ive found near impossible to start, enjoy, or follow through with Ive grown to
realize that something is better than nothing at all and that sometimes you must do the things
you dont like to be able to do the ones that you do or find the ones that you will. In pushing
through struggle and frustration Ive come to realize how much I do enjoy writing, regardless of
topic just the act of creation and understanding has become fun to me. I see now all the
fabrications and excuses I've made over years against change have all stemmed from a fear of
commitment, a fear to follow through, but today I can say I'm no longer afraid to make mistakes.
I've changed my perspective and many of the realizations I've made along the way have come
from, and have been backed up by certain themes within this course.

There were times in the past where the simple fact of not knowing what life had in store
was enough to petrify me. The pressure I used to feel to get it right eventually led me to only
except what I knew I could handle and never strive for more. This fear of failure stunted my
growth but in the first reading done for class there was a quote that hit home and gave me the
chance to accept the beauty in not knowing. In Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott the author quotes a
metaphor for writing which I feel also applies to life, the quote was Writing a novel is like driving
a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that
way. With this quote I began to accept that just because I didnt know what I wanted to do or
where I wanted to go didnt mean I couldnt start working towards it. Where I used to only focus
on the outcome, Ive grown to focus on the journey as thats where growth lies, if I get hung up
on the details of the final product Ill only miss out on the building blocks it takes to get there and
Im glad Ive found this out before it was too late.
Along with this idea of forward movement in order to kick myself into gear, theres also
this theme of trusting the mind to work things out. Like I already said Ive always spent so much
time worrying about getting it right, what Ive found is that in trying to force myself to figure
things out I usually end up more frustrated than when Id started. The human mind is a
magnificent thing, it has the ability to work out so much and often times it does it subconsciously
similar to when a word escapes you and only comes back when you stop thinking about it. In
some some of the readings Its addressed that giving the mind time to grow and explore other
options can often be the best plan of action when stuck. In an article by Ray Bradbury, Zen in
the Art of Writing, he speaks of how most of his ideas come from letting the mind run loose.
Bradbury uses free association to jump from topic to topic in order to eventually reach his
destination even if he may not know what that is. Through following this aimlessness and
accepting the process as a chance to grow hes found his way.
Everything Ive come to learn has transferred into how I write, my process has become
much more my own. Accepting life for what it is and understanding that at times the brain needs
to move at its own pace Ive come to slow down and trust the process. Fighting the natural flow
of life Ive only ever become more and more frustrated but no longer will I fight. For now I will
form myself to the changes around me, roll with them in hopes Ill be able to conquer my own
endeavors, Im convinced now that I will find my own way and that no one else can find it for
me. I believe everyone must learn for themselves how to make sense of life and the world
around them as well as how to make each day worth living. There is one consistency among the
human race and its that you must find what works for you for that is the only way that holds
entirely true.
October 28th, 2014
Heres hoping,
Eddie Park

Pt.2 - Why hello!

(negative) ways once or twice I believe that regression and realization that that lifestyle is not
what I want is part of growth; from hindsight I missed how things were, but back in it I
remembered why I wanted to change. Ive begun to commit to things as opposed to never
committing. ; plans and such . Ive changed my major to English and Ive begun to read a lot of
books. I never used to read unless assigned but now Ive become infatuated with the different
styles of storytelling, character building, and so on; Ive come to want to learn by exploring
different approaches.
Ive read Aldous Huxleys Brave New World, Frank McCourts Angelas Ashes, and am
approaching the end of my first Chuck Palahniuk book - Choke - this semester. In every book
Ive been taking certain aspects away to fuel my motivation and perspective and creative
stylings. Ive developed an excitement in finishing books to start new ones and with it Ive begun
to grow outwards with my analyzing of such; making it feel more fluid.
In the most recent book, Choke, one of the characters explains that he doesnt know
why he does what he does saying the longer we can keep building, the longer we can keep
creating, the more will be possible This is about a process. This isnt about getting something
done. I like this quote as it promotes forward motion for the sake of motion; not getting hung up
on the end product, figuring it out later but working towards it now. Along these lines Ive chosen
a major that I dont know where it will lead but for the time being Ive made it my goal to
complete that; taking it one step at a time trusting Ill figure it out as I go.
During the second half of the semester much of our focus has been towards rhetorical
analysis; a form of dissecting a text to find purpose, message, audience, and break down how
each is conveyed. What rhetorical analysis comes down to for me is situational ; how someone
chooses to communicate given a specific scenario, message, or intent. With RA we broke down
texts for certain assignments in order to raise our critical thinking abilities and eventually applied
them them to real life situations; I use them while reading certain articles and books in order to
see what applies to where.
In class, along with the Rhetorical Analysis, we watched Food inc; a movie that opens up
a frame on the food industry that had been cut out by big business. This movie presented a
work pattern used to research; exploratory. With this and Rhetorical analysis we learned of
ethos (credibility), pathos (emotion), & logos (logic) and how each is used in order to inform,
persuade, and explore.
Finally for the class we had one last project, an I-search paper. We were meant to take a
debatable topic, research it, and take a stand; weather it be inform, persuade, and/or explore. I
chose the Cuban Embargo and through my research and drafts Ive slowly learned better ways
to organize my ideas. Our teacher also gave us a rundown on how to make a good thesis
statement ultimately stating that the thesis statement should be able to be taken out of the
paper and still make sense in context to your purpose.
This class has instilled a new love for literature and language; I hope to make that last.
December, 10th 2014

Eddie Park