BANG BANG YOU'RE DEAD

Revision 24 April 2009

William Mastrosimone 1998, 2009
Bang Bang Youre Dead (version 2009) was first presented by Las Vegas
Academy Theatre, Las Vegas Academy of International Studies, Performing and
Visual Arts, Clark County School District, Las Vegas, Nevada in April, 2009. The
production was directed and designed by John Morris, and was stage managed by
Mary Hayden. The student director was Kerry Warren. The cast was as follows:
Josh Drew Lynch
Emily Ashley Culberg
Jessie Ariel Luke
Matt Matt Ortile
Katie Nicola Carreon
Michael Sabe Robertson
The Shadow Cody Canyon
Voice 1 Callan Ream
The Con, Defense Attorney, Grandpa, Dad, a Student
Voice 2 Callie Williams
Prosecutor, Mom, a Student
Voice 3 Jayde Fair
The Judge, a Student
Voice 4 Allie Cannady
The Bailiff, the Principal, a Student
You can find out more information about this production and Las Vegas Academy
Theatre by visiting http://lvacademytheatre.org/gallerybbyd

Bang Bang Youre Dead

TIME: Now.
PLACE:
The space is a void, in which any action might be possible. There is a
stool and a big black box. These two set props function as the cot,
judges bench, principals office, Grandpas truck and any other
furniture or space-defining objects for which the actors endow them.
The box is the place wherein the Deceased place Josh when they are
trying to make a point. The performing space should contain light: be
very, very dark at certain points in the show, yet be fully lit when the
action calls for it. Of course, it can be staged completely different
from this as well. It can be played with different levels, or it can play
on a flat stage.
The play begins in a jail cell, then moves to various placesa court room, a
woods, a school, a homeand back to the jail cell again.
CHARACTERS in order of appearance:
Josh
The deceasedMichael, Katie, Matt, Jessie, Emily
The Ensembleat least four, as many as nine or ten, that play the
following roles:
Voices 1, 2, 3, and 4 (male or female)
Grandpa
Judge (male or female)
Prosecutor (male or female)
Public defender (male or female)
Jury foreman (male or female)
Shadow (male)
Mom
Dad
School principal (male or female)
Students at Joshs School
The play is continuous without intermission.

BANG BANG YOU'RE DEAD

(DARKNESS. A flashlight cuts through the
darkness finding Josh asleep on the jail bed).
JOSH
Who's there?
(Another flashlight from another direction
finds Josh).
JOSH
Who is it? Who's there?
(Michael holds the flashlight under his chin
illuminating only his face. The others do the
same when they speak).
Why me?

MICHAEL
KATIE
Why me?
Why me?
Why me?
Whyd you kill us, Josh?

MATT
JESSIE
EMILY
JOSH
Cry me a riverI feel like a swim.
(The Deceased continue to light themselves
and Josh alternately, making sure that the
audience sees faces and action when necessary
and appropriate.)
MICHAEL
I need an answer, Josh. Why me?
JOSH
For the pleasure of seeing you drop. Okay?

Why me?

KATIE
JOSH
You sat next to him. Thats the way the cookie crumbles.
MATT
Why me? I don't even know you.
JOSH
Wrong place, wrong time. Loser.
Why me?

JESSIE
JOSH
Why not you? World's overpopulated. I wanted to do my part.
EMILY
Whyd you smile when you killed me?
JOSH
You know me. Im just a friendly guy.
You liked me once.
In your dreams.

EMILY
JOSH
(Josh lays back on the bed).
EMILY
We live on the same street. We used to make mud pies when we were little kids.
(Josh mimes an imaginary keyboard, presses
keys)
ESCAPE.

JOSH
EMILY
I taught you how to blow bubbles with chewing gum.
DELETE.

JOSH

EMILY
I came to your birthdays, you came to mine.
JOSH
CONTROL ALT DELETE.
EMILY
When we were eleven you let me play war with you and the other boys because
you liked how I died. Remember?
(The deceased improvise pre-teen kids playing
war, using their fingers for guns and making
shooting sounds. They run around in the dark,
their flashlights
sweeping the floor, looking for the enemy, the
lights criss-crossing. Let them shout "bam,
"pow" etc. Eventually Emily "kills" Katie and
Matt who drop dead. Michael shoots Jessie
who falls dead. Michael and Emily shoot each
other at the same time. Michael drops dead at
once. Emily dies very dramatically with all the
appropriate sounds).
EMILY
Hope I didn't disappoint when you killed me in the cafeteria this morning, Josh.
Hope I died just right for you.
Perfect. Wish I could do it again.

JOSH
EMILY
Go on then. Shoot me again. Cmon.
(Josh pretends to shoot her. She dies again
very dramatically).
MICHAEL
Why her?
Why him?
Why them?

KATIE
MATT

Why me?
Why anybody, Josh?

JESSIE
EMILY
JOSH
Simple math. My rifle holds five bullets. Five bullets, five people.
MICHAEL
The bullet that killed me pierced my parents' hearts, too.
KATIE
Pierced my brothers' and sisters' hearts.
MATT
Pierced my friends hearts.
JESSIE
Pierced the hearts of parents who send their kids to school.
EMILY
Your five bullets wounded hundreds.
Maybe thousands.
Wounds that will bleed forever.
Wounds that will weep forever.

MICHAEL
KATIE
MATT
JESSIE
Wounds that never heal.
Wounds unseen but no less real.
Thousands! Why?

EMILY
DECEASED

JOSH
It was more fun than droppin' dudes in a video game.

(Josh lies down to sleep again. Emily pulls off

his blanket).
EMILY
All my life I've been taught to forgive. I was taught that forgiveness is for the
forgiver. But I just can't. Not until I know what's really in your heart, Josh.
JOSH
I dont need your forgiveness. I dont need anything from anybody. I got all I need
in here. Three hots and a cot. The whole thing will be off my record when I'm
eighteen anyway. Maybe I'll be out of here when I'm twenty-one. After that, when
I walk down the street, people will look at me and whisper, Dont mess with that
dude.
Thats not fair.

MICHAEL
DECEASED
Not fair.
KATIE
Our bodies lie in coffins.
Not fair.
And you dont even care.

DECEASED
MATT
DECEASED
Not fair.
JESSIE
Our bodies will lie under the earth.
Not fair.
While you still breathe the air.

DECEASED
EMILY
DECEASED
Not fair.
JOSH
But you got yourselves a cozy little placeand you cant beat the rent.

(JOSH lies down to sleep).

EMILY
This is your last chance for an honest answer, Josh.
JOSH
You cant hurt me. Youre dead.
MICHAEL
We're gonna open you up.
Good luck.

JOSH
KATIE
Dissect you like a frog in bio lab.
Pry open your heart.

MATT
JESSIE
For a start.
Put you through the ringer.
Well find your rhyme.
Your reason.

EMILY
MICHAEL
KATIE
MATT
Not a fun time.
Well go up one side.
Down the other.
In your face.

JESSIE
EMILY
MICHAEL

Under your skin.

Crawling through your brain.

KATIE
MATT
JESSIE
Like a worm in an apple.
EMILY
Last chance, Josh. Why?
JOSH
You're all just a bad dream.
EMILY
Sometimes bad dreams come true.
(The deceased wrap Josh in the blanket, pick
him up, making the box a coffin. They drop him
in, close the lid. Josh kicks and screams
inside).
That's how it is in our world now.

MICHAEL
KATIE
Alone.
In the dark.
In silence.
Open this thing!

MATT
JESSIE
JOSH
EMILY
We really need some answers, Josh.
Let me out!
What were you thinking?

JOSH
MICHAEL

Open up!
When you open up.

JOSH
KATIE
JOSH
Im claustrophobic!
MICHAEL
But you got yourself a cozy little place
KATIE
And you cant beat the rent.
Please!

JOSH
MATT
Did he say please?
JESSIE
I think he said please.
PLEASE!
He definitely said please.

JOSH
EMILY
(The deceased turn the box on its side, open
the lid. Josh tumbles out with a primal yell. He
lies on the floor exhausted).
MICHAEL
That will be your life.
Every hour.
Every minute.
In a wordhell.

KATIE
MATT
JESSIE

Without love.
Without decency.

EMILY
MICHAEL
KATIE
Without comfort.
MATT
A kid in a cage.
JESSIE
A cage that eats you alive each day.
EMILY
And vomits you out so it can eat you again.
MICHAEL
And one day your cage will vomit you out in the street-(JOSH makes nonsense sounds like a child to
drown out what they are saying).
Stooped.
Broken.

Bitter.
Friendless.

MICHAEL
KATIE

MATT
JESSIE
EMILY
Hopeless.
Mindless.
Soul-less.

MICHAEL
KATIE

Some lawyer will get me off.

And how will you get a lawyer?

JOSH
MATT
JOSH
My parents will-JESSIE
Your parents will what, Josh?
EMILY
Do you remember them?
A little?

MICHAEL
KATIE
A lot?
MATT
Not at all?
Say something, Josh.

JESSIE
EMILY
Your parents cant do anything for you, Josh, because your parents-JOSH
I dont need my parents. The state will appoint a lawyer and I will be out.
If you survive the big house.
Piece o cake.
Yo, bad boy.

MICHAEL
JOSH
CON VOICE (OFFSTAGE)
JOSH

Are you talking to me?

CON VOICE
You the bad boy offed seven people?

JOSH
Ah, one, two and then three, four, five, six, seven. Yes, seven. Did you see me on
the news?
CON VOICE
We all had our day on the news, bad boy. Tomorr' we gonna see just how bad Bad
Boy is.
JOSH
What do you mean?
CON VOICE
You'll see, bad boy. Well see how bad Bad Boy is without his rifle.
JOSH
Whoa. Guard! Guard! Somebody just made a threat! Guard! Guard!
MICHAEL
Nobody hears you, Josh.
KATIE
You might as well call for your mommy.
Shut up.
The mommy you have no more.

JOSH
MATT
JOSH
SHUT UP!
JESSIE
Nobody hears you but the dead, Josh.
You will love your bars.
Bars protect you from them.

EMILY
MICHAEL
KATIE
The walls close in.
Narrow your thoughts.

MATT

Squeeze your brain.

JESSIE
EMILY
Drive you insane.
MICHAEL
As you remember the big wide world.
KATIE
That you traded for a concrete coffin.
Six by eight.

MATT
JESSIE
Only the truth will set you free.
EMILY
The whole truth and nothing but the truth.
(JUDGE bangs the gavel)
Court is now in session.

JUDGE
FOREMAN
Your honor, the jury has reached a verdict.
JOSH
A verdict already? The trial didnt even begin!
How do you plead?

JUDGE

JOSH
I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say can be held against me.
PUBLIC DEFENDER
My client pleads guilty your honor.
JOSH
I didnt say that. Why cant anyone hear me?
JUDGE
The court will hear the prosecutor's opening statement.

PROSECUTOR
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury: Seven corpses, scores of witnesses. What's to
think about?
FOREMAN
The jury has reached a verdict, Your Honor.
JOSH
Hey, Bozo, you have to wait till the end. Whys nobody hear me?
JUDGE
The court will now hear from the public defender.
PUBLIC DEFENDER
Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I agree with the Prosecutor.
What kind of defense is that?

JOSH
JUDGE
Let us call witnesses for the prosecution
I call the deceased.

PROSECUTOR
JOSH
How can they testify? Theyre dead.
PROSECUTOR
State your name and what you saw.
MICHAEL
Im Michael. I hardly knew Josh. He was friends with my girl for like forever.
That day I got a letter in the mail. My football scholarship was denied from the
college I wanted to get in to. There was no way I could pay for college without a
scholarship. I wanted to be alone with Emily and tell her because we were
applying to the same college. But Josh was there. We had words. Things got hot. I
dont remember if I pushed him or he pushed me but I thought it was over and
forgottentill I saw he come towards my table in the cafeteria.
KATIE
Im Katie. I wasnt even hungry. I wanted to spend my lunch in the library
because I was a little shaky for the biology test. But Matt was shakier than me and
when he asked for my help I couldnt say no because hes like a lost puppy when
he asks for anything and its impossible to say no. I was explaining mitochondria
when I saw Josh dressed in camou walking like he was late for a dentist

appointment. It was like when the rollercoaster suddenly drops and you feel
weightless and sick and helpless. Then I saw he had a rifle.
MATT
Im Matt. I didnt even know Josh. I saw kids mock and tease him. I thought,
Poor guy. He never really answered them back. You know how that is. Once they
get on your case, theres not much you can do about it but suffer until they pick
on somebody else. Truthfully, I thought it was a joke when he came in the
cafeteria. I thought those theatre people are at it again, advertising some dumb
play. And I thought, Whoa, they are gonna be in trouble with the principal
because that rifle looks so real, I cant believe they would allow that on school
grounds. And then he aimed the rifle at Michael, and when fire came out the
barrel
JESSIE
Im Jessie. Emily told me that Michael and Josh had a pushing contest. She was
so upset because she loved them both and didnt know how to make peace
between them. So when I saw josh come into the cafeteria with a rifle, smiling a
smile that was not really a smile, but I dont know, a taunt, a threat, a mask, a
weaponI dont know what Im trying to say but I knew I should run but my legs
turned to stone and I had to sit there and I knew I should pray but I couldnt even
remember the words and all I could see was his smile and I waited for the bullet
to rip through my body.
EMILY
Im Emily. He pointed the rifle at me and called my name. He wanted to make
eye contact with me because it was so personal. I dont know why but I thought
of 5th grade when I found a tiny box of chocolates in my desk with a Valentine
from Anonymous, and I knew it was Josh because he had borrowed the money
from me for the exact amount two days before but hes denied it ever since, I
guess because were more like brother and sister, we finish each others
sentences. I felt a sadness that poured over me like cement. The giver of
chocolates was now pointing a rifle at me and said, What happened? How did we
get to this place? I didnt want to believe it. But it wasnt Josh behind his eyes.
Something else took him over. And after I fell, and before I closed my eyes
forever, I saw the oddest look on his face.
PROSECUTOR
What kind of look?
EMILY
The same face he had when he killed the deer.
What deer?

PROSECUTOR

His first buck.

EMILY
JOSH
You werent there. How could you know the face I made?
MICHAEL
We know everything about you.
EMILY
All your thoughts.
MICHAEL
Your feelings.
Your memories.

KATIE
MATT
Your dreams.
JESSIE
Your deep, dark secrets.
JOSH
How? How could you know all that?
We're all in your head, Josh.

EMILY
JOSH
Psych! Tell me one fact about that day. One fact. One.
MICHAEL
Just you and grandpa drove up to the mountain in his old red dented truck with
the
cracked windshield and the uncomfortable seat with a spring coming out of the
upholstery. Enough facts, Josh?
(GRANDPA sits next to Josh on the box that
becomes a truck.)
JOSH
Okay, you saw the truck somewhere. Now tell me one thing grandpa said. Ah. You
cant. You cant. You cant tell me one thing grandpa said.

GRANDPA
Respect the animals. Don't take a shot unless you know it's sure. Do it quick and
clean. You dont want the animal to suffer. You keep that safety on till you are
ready to shoot.
JOSH
Okay, anybody could guess that.
KATIE
That old logging road is full of ruts.
JESSIE
You both bounce on the seat. You can't wait to shoot your new rifle.
GRANDPA
Let's go, Josh.
You both get out of the truck.
The cold stings your face.
You can see your breath.

MATT
JESSIE
EMILY
MICHAEL
You wish you dressed warmer.
KATIE
Grandpa watches you load the rifle's magazine.
Five shiny bullets.
You show him the safety is on.

MATT
JESSIE
GRANDPA
Atta boy.
You love this man.

EMILY
MICHAEL
He teaches you so many things about life.

You split up.

You walk for miles.

KATIE
MICHAEL
(JOSH sits on the floor.)
Your nose goes numb.

KATIE
MATT

Your fingers go numb.

JESSIE
Toes go numb.
EMILY
You wish you were still in your warm bed.
MICHAEL
You wish you ate the oatmeal your mother begged you to eat.
KATIE
And in the midst of your numbness, you have a profound philosophical thought:
JOSH
Hunting sucks.
You lie on dry leaves.
You curl up and doze off.
You dream of venison on the grill.

MATT
JESSIE
EMILY
MICHAEL
Something wakes you up.
Something moving on dry leaves.
You don't move.

KATIE
MATT

You feel its presence.

JESSIE

EMILY
And then you see it.
JOSH
A buck!
MICHAEL
Beautiful.
Magnificent.

KATIE
MATT
Strong.
Proud.

JESSIE
EMILY
Keen.
Like a dream.
You're taken by its beauty.
Utterly taken by its feral beauty.

JOSH
MICHAEL
KATIE
MATT
Its hot breath condenses cold.
Makes you forget youre hunting.

JESSIE

EMILY
And then you notice the rifle in your hand.
MICHAEL
But deep inside you don't know if you can really pull the trigger.

KATIE
The buck poses like a sublime statue.
Your pulse quickens.

MATT
JESSIE
You raise your rifle.
(JOSH mimes a rifle)
EMILY
Your hands shake.
MICHAEL
You can't find the buck in the scope
You hold your breath.

KATIE
MATT
You put the crosshairs under the buck's shoulder.
The moment of truth has come.

JESSIE
EMILY
But this buck's beauty weakens you.
You dont see venison in a stew.

MICHAEL
KATIE
You dont see steaks and chops on the grill.
MATT
You dont see a trophy mounted on the wall.
JESSIE
You see a beauty beyond words.
EMILY
You want to shoot but you dont want to shoot.
So you make your face a mask.

MICHAEL

A mask that hides your face.

A face that hides the pain.

KATIE
MATT

JESSIE
A pain that eats your heart.
EMILY
A heart nobody knows.
MICHAEL
You pull the trigger! Nothing happens!
KATIE
The safety's still on!
You panic!

MATT
JESSIE
You click the safety off.
EMILY
The buck turns and runs like the wind.
You take aim.
Bam!

MICHAEL
DECEASED
KATIE
First shot misses!
Bam!
Second shot misses.
Bam!

DECEASED
MATT
DECEASED

Third shot misses!

Bam!

JESSIE
DECEASED
EMILY
Fourth shot misses!
DECEASED
Bam!
JOSH
DAMMIT!
Down on one knee!

MICHAEL
KATIE
Find the buck in the crosshairs.
MATT
The buck stops.
Looks back as bucks do.
Makes a perfect target of itself.

JESSIE
EMILY
MICHAEL
You thinkSo beautiful.
So magnificent.
So proud.
So strong.

KATIE
MATT
JESSIE
EMILY

All you want to be.

But you want to shoot.

MATT

And you dont want to shoot.

JESSIE
EMILY
You have to shoot.
MICHAEL
But you dont have to shoot.
KATIE
The war inside you has to end.
Bam!

DECEASED
MATT
Buck goes down!
You tear across the field.

JESSIE
EMILY
You stand over your dying buck.
MICHAEL
Its legs kick as if running on the air.
Its chest heaves
Its blood spurts out

KATIE
MATT
JESSIE
Its life runs out
Like a wind-up toy
Battery dying.
Slowing.

EMILY
MICHAEL
KATIE

Slowing.
Still.

MATT
JESSIE
EMILY
Dead.
JOSH
Awww, man.
MICHAEL
You hurt inside
You wish it was all a DVD.

MATT
JESSIE
You wish you could just hit STOP BUTTON.
EMILY
Just hit the BACK BUTTON.
MICHAEL
To make the buck come alive again.
That was the look on your face.

KATIE
MATT
The look that loved the hunt.
JESSIE
But wished the buck could live again.
But you cant unshoot the bullet.
You cant unkill it!

EMILY
MICHAEL
KATIE
The beautiful-Magnificent--

MATT

Proud--

JESSIE
EMILY
Keen buck dying on the ground.
MICHAEL
You watch its life run out.
JOSH
I didn't know it would be like this. CONTROL ALT DELETE.
That was the look on your face.

DECEASED
KATIE
Your buck takes its last breath.
Awww, man.

JOSH
MATT
You almost let yourself weep.
But you hear a voice.
Josh. Why 5 shots?
Grandpa comes out of breath.

JESSIE
GRANDPA
EMILY
MICHAEL
He sees your dying buck.
KATIE
He looks at you like no one's ever looked at you before.
Like a man.

EMILY

MICHAEL
Somebody you always wanted to be

12 feet tall.
Big.

KATIE
MATT
JESSIE
Bigger than big.
EMILY
Immense.
MICHAEL
Gigantic.
Colossal.

KATIE
MATT
Measureless.
JESSIE
Other hunters come out of the forest.
They ask you to tell the story.
All the details

EMILY
MICHAEL
KATIE
And you feel as tall as the pines.
MATT
But as small as the moles deep underground.
Both at once.
Pine tree tall and mole small.

JESSIE
EMILY
(GRANDPA takes out a Polaroid camera).
GRANDPA
C'mon, Josh, lets have a picture. Say moment of glory.

You make your face a mask.

A mask that hides your face.

MICHAEL
KATIE
MATT
A face that hides the pain.
JESSIE
A pain that eats your heart.
EMILY
A heart nobody knows.
(Grandpa takes a polaroid photograph, hands
it to Josh.)
DECEASED
That was the look on your face.
JUDGE
Where is this photo?
I have it, Your Honor.

EMILY
(EMILY hands two halves of the photo to the
JUDGE)
PROSECUTOR
Why is the photo ripped in half?
EMILY
Tell the court what happened that day in the cafeteria that day, Josh.
JOSH
If you know everything about me, why don't you know that?
EMILY
We want to hear you say it to yourself.
FOREMAN
We have reached a verdict, Your Honor.

JOSH
You cant have a verdict! You didnt hear the whole story! (to PUBLIC
DEFENDER) Why dont you object?
PUBLIC DEFENDER (stage whisper)
Laryngitis.
PROSECUTOR
Whats the whole story, Josh.
(LIGHTS BLINK. FLASHBACK. EMILY sits
with a notebook and pencil. VOICES 1, 2, 3, 4
are conversing on another part of the stage,
close enough to eavesdrop. ENTER JOSH with
a whole photo).
EMILY
Where have you been all weekend?
Wait till you see this.

JOSH
(JOSH shows a whole photo)
EMILY
I left messages. You never answered.
JOSH
Okay, dont pull a muscle, Im here. My first buck.
EMILY
What about your half of our baby diary?
JOSH
Im not quite done with it. So my grandpa drives up this old logging road.
EMILY
Josh, the baby diarys due this afternoon.
JOSH
Ill finish it at lunch. You didnt even look at the picture. My first buck.
EMILY
I dont care about your first buck. I care about our grade in Health Class. Wheres
Chloe?

Safe and sound.

JOSH
(JOSH takes the sugar baby out of his
backpack. It looks tampered with.)
(DIRECTORS NOTE: VOICES 1-4 LAUGH on
a 3 point scale: #1 is bemused laughter, #2 is
mocking laughter, #3 vicious mocking
laughter. At this moment VOICES 1-4 LAUGH
#1).
EMILY
You are soJosh, when you have a kid, are you gonna keep it in a backpack?
A kid? I cant even get a date.

JOSH
EMILY
Whys it so light?
JOSH
I emptied the sugar out.
Josh, why?
I needed some for my cornflakes.

EMILY
JOSH
(VOICES LAUGH # 1)
Oh, Josh!

EMILY
JOSH
Filled it with cotton balls. Easier to carry.
(VOICES, LAUGH #1)
EMILY
We both are gonna fail if the teacher ever does a spot-check.
JOSH
With all my books I cant be lugging around 10 pounds of sugar all day long.

EMILY
How else can you develop patience and care with a child?
Its not real, Emmer.

JOSH
EMILY
Lucky for you because it would be child abuse and youd be arrested. Let me see
what you wrote.
JOSH
Im not quite finished.
Let me see what you have.

EMILY
JOSH
Well, ah, its kinda all in my head, Ems. I just have to sit down now and write it
out from memory.
EMILY
Whatd you have for lunch yesterday?
Lunch? I dont remember.

JOSH
EMILY
But you can remember all the details about our baby care for the last two weeks.
JOSH
I was waiting for a big burst of inspiration but it never came. Is that my fault?
You had a big burst of selfishness.
CONTROL ALT DELETE.

EMILY
JOSH
EMILY
Wish I could shut down and restart my conscience like that. I knew it was a
mistake to have a baby with you.
(VOICES LAUGH #1)
JOSH
Chill, Emmer, everybodys looking.

EMILY
Josh, you obviously dont care about your grade, but I care about mine.
(Enter MICHAEL)
MICHAEL
Hey, Josh.
Hey.

JOSH
MICHAEL

Lets rock n roll.

EMILY
Im sorta stuck here for a while.
This is my only time off.
I know but
But what? What happened?

MICHAEL
EMILY
MICHAEL
EMILY
We dont have all of the Health Class assignment.
MICHAEL
But last night you told me you finished it.
My half.
Oh.

EMILY
MICHAEL
EMILY
Josh doesnt quite have his half.
MICHAEL
Well, why dont you turn your half in and let him fail.
EMILY
Were graded together because we have a, you know, baby together. We really
need to come up with 14 diary pages.

Well how long will that take?

MICHAEL
EMILY
Maybe two hours.

More like a half hour.

JOSH
MICHAEL

This stinks.
EMILY
I know, Michael, Im sorry.
MICHAEL
Dont apologize for him. He should be the one the say hes sorry.
(MICHAEL takes the photo out of EMILYs
hand).
Whats this?

MICHAEL
EMILY
Josh got a buck on the weekend. His first.
My picture please.

JOSH
MICHAEL
Josh the big bad game hunter had time to hunt but not enough time to do the
assignment.
CONTROL ALT DELETE.
Whats that mean?

JOSH
MICHAEL
JOSH
My picture.

(JOSH grabs the photograph but MICHAELS

grip is so tight, JOSH accidentally rips the
photo in half).
(VOICES LAUGH #2)
MICHAEL
Oops. (Flips the other half of the photograph to Josh) You ripped it, not me.
(JOSH holds up the torn photograph).
JOSH
I wanted to get this enlarged and framed. But now its ruined.
(JOSH throws the pieces of the photo down.
EMILY picks up the pieces).
It was an accident.
No it wasnt. You wouldnt let go.
You pulled it too hard, loser.

MICHAEL
JOSH
MICHAEL
(VOICES LAUGH, # 3. JOSH throws himself
at MICHAEL, pushes MICHAEL back, and
then MICHAEL pushes JOSH to the floor.
VOICES continue LAUGH, #3. JOSH throws
himself at MICHAEL again. EMILY holds
JOSH back.).
EMILY
Cmon, you guys, youll both get in trouble.
Let me go!

JOSH
EMILY
Cmon, Josh, we really need to get this diary written.
MICHAEL
Let him go. What can a puny little loser do to me?
(VOICES LAUGH # 3)

Thats what the buck thought.

JOSH
(VOICES go WHOA!)
MICHAEL
Whats that supposed to mean?
JOSH
You better hope you never find out.
MICHAEL
You know, Josh, youre a joke in this school. Josh the joke.
(VOICES LAUGH # 3)
EMILY
Michael, Josh is my friend and you cant talk to my friend like that.
MICHAEL
You two spend a little too much time together.
(EXIT MICHAEL)
What do you see in him?
Lets just get this done.

JOSH
EMILY
JOSH
I knew you first.
What?
CONTROL ALT DELETE.
No, whatd you mean?

EMILY
JOSH
EMILY
JOSH

It doesnt matter.
It does to me. Tell me.

EMILY

JOSH
Im too ticked. I cant think straight right now.
EMILY
Okay. But what you said was sweet.
JOSH
Can I put that on my cornflakes? Cant believe he pushed me in front of the whole
school.
EMILY
I think hes a little jealous.
(VOICES LAUGH, #3)
JOSH
Every kid in the schools laughing at me.
Theyre not laughing at you.

EMILY
JOSH
Why are they looking at me?
Lets work.
Ill do it on my own.

EMILY
JOSH
(Josh moves to another place).
You make your face a mask.
A mask that hides your face.
A face that hides the pain.

MICHAEL
KATIE
MATT
JESSIE

A pain that eats your heart.

A heart nobody knows.

EMILY

(VOICES LAUGH, # 3)
JOSH
Somebody's gonna laugh once too many times.
VOICE 1
You hear about Josh the joke? He got his ass kicked.
(VOICES LAUGH # 3. Josh writes in his
notebook. He tries to ignore the sporadic peals
of laughter. ENTER SHADOW in a black
hooded sweatshirt hiding his face standing
behind Josh).
SHADOW
You gonna let them just flick your switch?
JOSH
Who said that?
SHADOW
You do nothing, youre gonna be their daily entertainment.
Who are you?

JOSH
SHADOW
Youve known who I am ever since the day you shot the buck.
JOSH
What about it?
SHADOW
You cast a long shadow across the snow that day.
How do you know that?
You felt twelve feet tall.

JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
How do you know that?
I know what you know.

SHADOW

JOSH
How can you know what I know? Who are you?
SHADOW
I am you and you are me.
JOSH
I dont get it.
SHADOW
I am the long shadow you cast on the snow that day in the woods but that long
shadow is the shadow of a different you deep inside.
JOSH
How different?
SHADOW
I am you when the remote is in your hand and your nimble fingers dance over the
remote switching from Glock to AK-47 to flamethrower, wiping out multitudes of
enemies. That feeling of big.
JOSH
Bigger than big.
Immense.
Gigantic.
Colossal.

SHADOW
JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
Measureless.
Exactly.
Whoa.
At your service.

SHADOW
JOSH
SHADOW

What do you mean?

Whatever you want it to mean.

JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
Okay.
SHADOW
How much longer can you take this abuse?
JOSH
Like a negative second.
You have to do something.

SHADOW
JOSH
Im hoping theyll get tired of me and find somebody else to harass.
SHADOW
Never happen. Theyre vampires. They want your blood. Everyday.
I dont know what else to do.
I know how to stop it.

JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
How?
SHADOW
Lets give em something to think about.
Like what?
Something big.

JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
For example.
SHADOW
Something that blows their minds.

Be specific.

JOSH
SHADOW
I see an empty classroom. I see a blackboard crying out for a dire message that
shuts them up.
(Josh uses the fourth wall as a blackboard,
mimes writing on it with a piece of chalk.
SHADOW speaks the words as JOSH writes
them)
SHADOW
"Everybody...in...this...class...is...dead...meat.
(A CROWD assembles and reacts to the words
on the blackboard. Improvise. The crowd is
comprised of the Voices, the Deceased and
perhaps others. The Principle ENTERS to have
a look. S/He takes a snapshot of the words on
the blackboard).
PRINCIPAL
Okay, people, Health Class is cancelled for today. This room is now a crime scene.
If anyone knows anything about the blackboard phantom, it will be kept strictly
confidential. Go to the library and study quietly. Move those feet. Lets go!
(The crowd fragments into different directions
and suddenly we are back in the courtroom.)
PROSECUTOR
And who did you suspect to be the blackboard phantom?
PUBLIC DEFENDER
Objection, Your Honor. Its pure speculation.
JOSH
Wow, you spoke up. I thought you died with your eyes open.
JUDGE
Overruled. Emily knew him best. While her feelings are not factual, they may be
relevant. I want to allow this.
I thought it was Josh.

EMILY

PROSECUTOR
Why did you think Josh was the blackboard phantom?
EMILY
He practically confessed to me.
(Suddenly we are back in the past again. JOSH
sits writing in a notebook. ENTER EMILY.
JOSH rips a few pages out of his notebook).
JOSH
Heres my diary pages.
Josh, when did you do all this?

EMILY
JOSH
Since the school went into lockdown.
EMILY
Guess the blackboard phantom did you a favor.

Blackboard phantom. Love that.

Who do you think it is?

JOSH
EMILY
(SHADOW ENTERS, sits between JOSH and
EMILY and blows up a balloon).
JOSH
No idea. But he must be somebody whose switch got flicked once too often.
What do you mean, Josh?

EMILY

JOSH
Just what I said. People flick your switch, you gotta stop it.
EMILY
But Josh, this blackboard phantom has to realize how frightened we all feel now.
Education stops. Thats not right.

JOSH
Well, those frightened people need to realize how frightening it is to be pushed
around like the school joke. Life stops. I feel empty. Like a balloon. All puffed up.
Big enough for everyone to see. But empty. So empty. A balloon in a world where
everybody else is pointed, sharp, jagged. Just a word is a needle. A look is broken
glass. A laughoh, especially a laughis a razor. I go pop.
(SHADOW pops the balloon with a sharp
object and then holds the limp and ragged
remnant of the balloon in the air).
MICHAEL
So you make your face a mask.
KATIE
A mask that hides your face.
A face that hides the pain.
A pain that eats your heart.
A heart nobody knows.

MATT
JESSIE
EMILY
(ENTER SCHOOL PRINCIPAL)
Hi Emily. Hi Josh.
Hi.

PRINCIPAL
EMILY and JOSH
PRINCIPAL
May I speak with you in my office, Josh?
Sure. See ya, Emily.

JOSH
(JOSH and PRINCIPAL go to another part of
the stage)

Have a seat.

PRINCIPAL

Thanks.

JOSH
PRINCIPAL
Anything you want to say to me, Josh?
JOSH
Didnt you want to talk to me?
PRINCIPAL
I was hoping youd come to your senses and have something to say to me.
JOSH
Oh, yeah. Great hair.
PRINCIPAL
I admire a good poker-face, Josh, but to your credit, youre not a very good liar.
JOSH
I never claimed to be an expert.
PRINCIPAL
What do you know about the words on the blackboard?
Nothing.

JOSH
PRINCIPAL
We know for a fact that you're the blackboard phantom, Josh.
JOSH
You cant know that because Im not.
We have a snitch.
Who?
You.

PRINCIPAL
JOSH
PRINCIPAL
JOSH

What do you mean?

PRINCIPAL
We compared the writing on the blackboard to your last English class essay. Its a
perfect match. Do you have anything to say now?
JOSH
What a remarkable coincidence.
PRINCIPAL
Violence or even the threat of violence triggers our zero tolerance policy. I have
no choice but to expel you for the rest of the year. I will inform your parents that
you will have to repeat the grade unless you repeat all your courses in summer
school.
(VOICES LAUGH # 3. EXIT PRINCIPAL.
ENTER JOSHS PARENTS).
JOSH
I won't go! I won't go!
It wont be so bad, Josh.

MOM
JOSH
Sit in hot class all day while other kids can do what they want? And study on
summer nights?
(VOICES LAUGH # 3)
DAD
Maybe you should've thought about that before you wrote on the blackboard.
(ENTER SHADOW blowing up a balloon).
JOSH
Know what they call me at school? Josh the joke.
(VOICES LAUGH # 3).
Somebody calls you a name, its superglued to your forehead. Forever. I had to
shut them up. Why cant you see that?
You cant threaten people.

DAD
JOSH
It wasnt for real, Dad. It was just SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

DAD
If you wrote SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE on the blackboard you wouldnt
be in trouble now, would you? The school cant take a chance. You did something
wrong so take your punishment like a man.
(VOICES LAUGH # 3)
JOSH
Why should I be punished when theyre laughing at me right now?
DAD
So what. Thats life.
MOM
What your father means is you cant help what others think of you.
DAD
And what your mother means isyou care too much about what others think of
you. You are in school to get an education, not to make friends. And you threw
away an education for what? To blow off a little steam. So grow up. Bite the
bullet. Be a man.
MOM
Well, I wouldnt have said it exactly like that.
My life is over.

JOSH
SHADOW
Nice. You got them worried. More.
I'd rather be dead.

JOSH

MOM
Oh, Josh, you don't really mean that.
SHADOW
Dont overdo it.
MOM
Josh, we will help you through this. Step by step we will be there fore you. The
first step is an appointment with a psychotherapist tomorrow morning.
I dont need that.

JOSH

DAD
Its a requirement to get back into school.
MOM
Neither one of us can take off from work. So heres the address. This will be one
step closer to getting you back on track, Josh.
(SHADOW bursts the balloon with a pin.
JOSH
I hate you both.
(EXIT JOSHS PARENTS. VOICES LAUGH #
3. JOSH and the VOICES have a contest, his
words against their laughter).
CONTROL ALT DELETE!

JOSH (repeat)
(VOICES LAUGH #3. They win. Josh mimes a
rifle and shoots at VOICES. They drop dead
only to jump up and LAUGH again. He shoots
them again with more ferocity. They all fall
and lie dead. JOSH relaxes and lies on his bed.
VOICES jump up again and circle JOSH,
pointing and laughing).
Hear about Josh the joke?
No, what now?

VOICE 1
VOICE 2

VOICE 3
Hes gotta see a shrink to get back in school!
(VOICES LAUGH # 3 waddle in a circle like
ducks going Quack, quack, quack, like ducks
in a shooting gallery. Once again JOSH drops
them all one by one. Momentarily).
Friend? Where are you, friend?

JOSH

Right behind you.

The voices are driving me crazy.

SHADOW
JOSH
SHADOW
Gotta shut em up, Josh.
JOSH
But how? The voices are in my head now. How can I shut them up?
SHADOW
Only one way, Josh.
How?

JOSH
SHADOW
Boom.
JOSH
What do you mean?
SHADOW
You know what I mean. Boom. No more pain.
Thats dumb.

JOSH
SHADOW
You said it before, Josh. Your life is over.
Awww, man.

JOSH

SHADOW
Punish them. Do it in the living room. Leave your brains on the wall for your
parents to see. Boom. No more pain.
That's really dumb.

JOSH

SHADOW
Know whats dumb? Going back to that school. You know what theyre saying
about you?
VOICE 1
Hear about Josh the joke?
VOICE 2
While everybody's having fun in the sun, Josh is reading gobbledygook in a book!
(THE VOICES JUMP UP LAUGHING # 3)
JOSH
Ill always be the laughingstock.
SHADOW
Always Josh the joke. Imagine you do summer school. Imagine the day you go
back. Imagine riding the bus. Imagine the looks. Imagine you walk the halls.
Imagine the words.
Loser!
Josh the joke!

VOICE 1
VOICE 2
SHADOW
They will whittle you down to dust.
It will never end.

JOSH
SHADOW
Never. Stop the voices, Josh. Boom.
Awww, man.

JOSH
SHADOW
Stop the pain, Josh. Kill the voices.
Does it hurt?
You dont feel a thing.

JOSH
SHADOW

JOSH
Sometimes it hurts too much to be alive, but I'm afraid to be dead. I dont want to
be thinking this.
SHADOW
You wanna be Josh the joke forever?
(VOICE LAUGH # 3. SHADOW blows up a
balloon).
VOICE 1
Hear about Josh the joke?
No, whatd he do now?

VOICE 2
VOICE 3
Blew out his brains.
What a loser.

VOICE 4
JOSH
Not even that? Not even that? They wont even let me have that in peace?
SHADOW
The deck is stacked against you, Josh.
Not even that.

JOSH
SHADOW
You will never be anything but a fool in their eyes
JOSH
Theyll still mock me even when Im dead. (SHADOW bursts the balloon with a
pin)
WILL SOMEBODY JUST PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY?
SHADOW
You gotta take em down with you.
DECEASED
Fort Gibson, St. Charles, Fayetteville.

Whoa.

JOSH
DECEASED
Pomona, Edinboro, Pearl, Moses Lake.
SHADOW
Show 'em who you are.
DECEASED
Paducah, Jonesboro, Springfield.
SHADOW
The whole school would stand in awe of you.
Columbine, Bethel. Virginia Tech.

DECEASED
SHADOW
You'd be a legend for years to come.
DECEASED
Erfurt, Virginia Tech.
SHADOW
Theyll write books about you. Theyll make movies about you.
Kauhajoki.

DECEASED
SHADOW
It's almost lunchtime. They will all be in the cafeteria soon. Scene of the crime.
I can see them sitting there.

JOSH

SHADOW
Imagine their faces when you walk in.
Totally surprised.

JOSH
SHADOW
Heart attack time.
Big.

JOSH

Bigger than big.

SHADOW
JOSH
Immense.
SHADOW
Gigantic.
JOSH
Colossal.
Measureless.

SHADOW
JOSH
Imagine their faces.
SHADOW
A rifle in your handinstant respect.
JOSH
Love that feeling.
Love it.
Crave it.
Need it.

SHADOW
JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
Gotta have it ever since I could hold a
Cap gun.
Water gun.
Air gun.

SHADOW
JOSH
SHADOW

Pop gun.
B.B. gun

JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
Twelve gauge.
SHADOW
22.
JOSH
38.
45.

SHADOW
JOSH
A gun makes you feel alive.
SHADOW
Watch out!
Move aside!
Nobody can touch you.

JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
When you have a gunNobody mocks you.

SHADOW

JOSH
When you have a gun. When you have a gun,
People talk nice.

SHADOW
JOSH
When you have a gunPeople look at you like a V.I.P.

SHADOW

JOSH
Somebody bumps you, they say, Excuse me.
SHADOW
You walk differentJOSH
When you have a gun.
SHADOW
You talk differentWhen you have a gun.

JOSH
JOSH
You think differentWhen you have a gun.

SHADOW
JOSH
It's an A-plus.
Slam dunk.
Touchdown.
Perfect put down.

SHADOW
JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
All in one.
SHADOW
You can be whatever you wanna be.
A gun in your hand is a Ph.D.

JOSH

SHADOW
Take 'em all with you and put this town on the map.

Thats a wrap.
Hey, Josh, hear that?

JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
I dont hear anything.
SHADOW
The voices in your head, theyre not laughing anymore.
(JOSH and SHADOW share a primal primal
yell of joy, rebellion, and freedom. SHADOW
helps JOSH on with a camou t-shirt and hat,
and they dance and yell until--)
Josh?
Josh, are you home?

DAD (offstage)
MOM (offstage)
SHADOW
Home early because you didnt keep the appointment.
JOSH
The psychotherapist!
They will stop you.
No.
Back to school.

SHADOW
JOSH
SHADOW
JOSH
No.
Josh the joke.
No.

SHADOW
JOSH

(ENTER MOM AND DAD)

DAD
Josh, what are you doing home? The therapist called and said you never showed.
JOSH
NO!
Make your face a mask.

MICHAEL
KATIE

A mask that hides your face.

MATT
A face that hides the pain.
A pain that eats your heart.
A heart nobody knows.
BAM!

JESSIE
EMILY
SHADOW
(DAD drops).
Josh, what are you doing?
I love you, mom.

MOM
JOSH
MOM
Josh! Think!
BAM!

SHADOW
(MOM drops)
JOSH

Who did this?

You.

SHADOW

No.

JOSH
SHADOW
Dont think about it. Move, move, move or you will chicken out.
(The DECEASED and VOICES gather together
in the cafeteria. Ad lib small talk. ENTER
JOSH. Dead quiet. JOSH aims at MICHAEL).
JOSH
Anybody here think Im Josh the joke?
SHADOW
Bam!
(Michael pulls a red scarf through a pin hole in
this clothing representing blood and drops).
Anybody here think Im a loser?
Bam!

JOSH
SHADOW
(KATIE pulls a red scarf through a pin hole and
drops).
Whys nobody laughing now?
Bam!

JOSH
SHADOW
(JESSIE pulls a red scarf through a pin hole
and drops).
JOSH
Whys nobody laughing at Josh the joke?
Bam!

SHADOW
(MATT pulls a red scarf through a pin hole and
drops).

Emily
What happened?

JOSH
EMILY
(JOSH shoots EMILY who pulls a red scarf
through a pinhole and drops).
SHADOW
Reload!
(As Josh reloads, VOICES tackle him and bring
him down).
JUDGE
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have you reached a verdict?
(VOICES release JOSH)
We have Your Honor.

FOREMAN
(The jury assembles: the FOREMAN, the
DECEASED, VOICES, MOM and DAD, =12).
JOSH
Thats my jury?
(MOM sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"
under the monologue).
JOSH
Mom, do you have to sing that stupid song? Message received, okay? Yes, I
remember you used to sing me that when I couldnt sleep? Thank you for the
pain?
(DAD puts on a baseball glove and slams a
baseball into the pocket repeatedly).
JOSH
Do you have to do that, Dad? Message received, okay? Yes, I remember you
taught me the outfielders glove and I caught a high-fly in the Little League
championship game and you carried me off the field? You carried me! How did
that stop? What happened? Why can't it be like that all the time? You didnt
understand I was a joke at school and a joke at home. I wanted to kill you but I

didn't want you dead. How else could I tell you what's on my mind without you
interrupting? Why's it so easy to talk to you now?
JUDGE
The foreman will read the jurys verdict.
JOSH
Big surprise this is gonna be.
FOREMAN
Your Honor, we the jury find the defendant guilty
JOSH
I have reached a verdict too, Your Honor! There are put-down artists who will
trash you just to be noticed by other kids. There are kids who hurt so bad inside
they need to make somebody else hurt. There are kids who would do anything to
see somebody trip, fall, cry, fail, just for laughs. And the teachers dont see.
Nobody sees. Will there be a trial for them too? Answer me that! Will there be a
trial for them too?
JUDGE
The foreman will now read the sentence.
FOREMAN
Your Honor, we the jury sentence the defendant to life imprisonment without
possibility.
Possibility of what?

JOSH
FOREMAN
Without possibility.
Without possibility of what?
Without possibility.
I dont know what that means.

JOSH
FOREMAN
JOSH
MICHAEL

You'll never achieve your dreams.

Never skydive.

KATIE

Never scuba off Australia.

MATT
JESSIE
Never explore the caldera of a volcano.
EMILY
Never fly a helicopter.
MICHAEL
Never be a sportscaster.
Never ski again.

KATIE
MATT
Never body surf.
JESSIE
Never meet people on the internet.
EMILY
Never know what you could've been
Done
Seen
Had

MICHAEL
KATIE
MATT
JESSIE
Known-Lovedin your lifetime.

EMILY

MICHAEL
Now you'll never know all the happiness that might have been yours.
KATIE
Through the bars of your cell youll see the Josh you might have been.

And wondering will be your pain.

MATT
JESSIE
The pain will eat the blossom of your youth.
EMILY
You will be as dead as we are.
(The DECEASED pull away from Josh
momentarily. They address the audience at
this point.)
KATIE
Know what I hate about being dead? You can't call up and order a pizza.
MICHAEL
Pepperoni.
Extra cheese.

JESSIE
EMILY
Garlic.
Hold the anchovies!
Cheeseburgers.
With bacon.

MATT
MICHAEL
KATIE
MATT
And fries.
Drenched in ranch dressing.
Triple chocolate milkshakes.
Chocolate chip cookies.

JESSIE
EMILY
MATT

With milk.
Cold milk.

KATIE
MATT
JESSIE
So many things to miss.
EMILY
You could never name them all.
ALL
Never.
(With background music. The tone is
bittersweet--sad that it's gone, joyful in
remembrance. Sometimes they are oblivious of
Josh, other times they direct the lines at him.
At the director's discretion, cut one or two of
the following sections (5 or 10 lines) and let the
Actors personalize things they now have that
they miss. Let each line begin with, "I miss--".
Let none of the personalization court
controversy or interfere with plot, character, or
tone).
MICHAEL
I miss cruising, windows down, radio up.
KATIE
I miss lying on my bed in the dark falling asleep to my iPod.
I miss dancing to NSync.

MATT

JESSIE
I miss when a guy gets that look in his eye! And you know he's gonna ask you out!
EMILY
And then he says, Can I borrow your math book?
MICHAEL
I miss when she answers before you even finish askingI'd love to!

KATIE

MATT
I miss when you go in for the kiss and then it happens and it's much, much better
than you dreamed it would be.
JESSIE
I miss bowling.
EMILY
I miss seeing Jody when she has that look on her face that she's got another
stupid joke to tell me.
MICHAEL
I miss mom's rock-hard brownies.
KATIE
I miss my dog when I come home from school.
MATT
I miss how my dog jumps all over me and barks for a treat.
JESSIE
I miss text messages saying, Sweet dreams.
EMILY
I miss when you take a new pair of jeans in the dressing room and put them on
and they fit perfect.
I miss cheese puffs.
I miss soda fizz tickling my nose.
I miss loving someone.

MICHAEL
KATIE
MATT
JESSIE
I miss fixing my hair in the morning.
EMILY
I miss going to the mailbox and getting a letter that I didn't expect.
A hand written letter.

MICHAEL

KATIE
I miss jumping into a cool pool on a hot day.
I miss sneezing.

MATT
JESSIE
I miss sleeping.
EMILY
I miss good times in Louisiana.
MICHAEL
I miss rollerblading.
KATIE
I miss when you start the school year and you open a book for the first time and
the spine cracks.
MATT
I miss going into the cafeteria and deciding who I want to sit with.
JESSIE
I miss laughing so hard I start to cry.
EMILY
I miss waterskiing in Georgia.
MICHAEL
I miss being home alone with a bag of microwave popcorn and the remote in my
hand channel surfing.
KATIE
I miss giving my dog a bath and she shakes and gives me a shower.
I miss cooking for my mom.

MATT
JESSIE
I miss mom's cooking wafting through the house and trying to guess what it is.
EMILY
I miss picking a college.
MICHAEL
I miss talking with friends on the phone after midnight.

KATIE
I miss going in a grocery store and being able to buy anything I want.
MATT
I miss hanging out.
JESSIE
I miss the end of a race when I'm out of breath and I feel so good about myself.
EMILY
I miss screaming at the football games.
MICHAEL
I miss the end of the day school bell, the feeling in the air when you can go home.
KATIE
I miss my bed.
I miss singing in the shower.

MATT
JESSIE
I miss getting into a fight with my sister and acting like nothing happened five
minutes later.
EMILY
I miss making mom laugh so hard she can't hardly breathe.
MICHAEL
I miss watching the sky go from light to dark.
And dark to light.

KATIE

MATT
I miss, even at my age, not being able to sleep on Christmas Eve.
JESSIE
I miss learning new songs on the piano.
EMILY (TO DECEASED)
I miss singing to the radio in front of the mirror.
And pretending I'm in concert.

MICHAEL

MATT
Standing room only! I miss Sunday brunch.
JESSIE
I miss Krispy Kreme donuts.
EMILY
I miss opening a door on a winter's day and feeling the cool rush of cold air on my
face.
MICHAEL
I miss hitting on girls.
KATIE
I miss jumping on the trampoline with six people at a time.
MATT
I miss swimming in the fountain at midnight.
I miss people watching.

JESSIE
EMILY
I miss the look in my brother's eye just before he pulls his newest wrestling move
on me.
(Music fades out. JOSH interrupts.)
JOSH
I never thought I was taking away all that. I killed all my possibilities too. Ill
never have anything to look forward to. Never.
MICHAEL
Never? What do you know about never? I'll never do all I wanted to do.
Never.
I'll never achieve my dreams.
Never.

DECEASED
KATIE
DECEASED

I'll never see all I wanted to see.

Never.

MATT
DECEASED
JESSIE
I'll never know all I wanted to know.
DECEASED
Never.
EMILY
Not ever.
(At the director's discretion, cut one or two of
the following sections (5 or 10 lines) and let the
actors improvise. Let the actors personalize
those things they never had. Let each line begin
with, "I'll never--". Let none of it court
controversy or interfere with plot, character, or
tone).
I'll never be the cool aunt.

KATIE
(Music continues)
MICHAEL
I'll never know what it is to live on my own and be independent.
MATT
I'll never have the chance to be a better person.
JESSIE
I'll never go to college and have a double major.
EMILY
I'll never find the right person to spend my life with.
And make a marriage work.

MICHAEL
(Josh, on the outside, moves in, hoping for an
invitation. They ignore him.)

Ill never--

JOSH
(They drown him out.)
KATIE
And give love.
And get love.

MATT

JESSIE
I'll never meet a beautiful, intelligent, caring fraternity boy who will look at me
and see perfection.
EMILY
I'll never be married in a white dress and have a huge wedding.
MICHAEL
I'll never make new friends.
KATIE
I'll never have the chance to apologize to my mother.
I'll never play catch with my son.

MATT
JESSIE
I'll never have long talks at a candle lit table in the corner of a little restaurant.
EMILY
I'll never get to decorate my babys room.
MICHAEL
I'll never know what it is to come home from work and open the door and all my
kids run to me and pull me down on the floor and smother me with hugs and
kisses.
KATIE
I'll never find out if the psychic was right--will I get what I want or sell used cars?
MATT
I'll never know what it is to own my own car.

JESSIE
I'll never have my beautiful frat boy hold my hand in the delivery room of the
maternity ward telling me to push, push, push while I tell him to SHUT UP.
EMILY
I'll never own a red convertible.
MICHAEL
I'll never fly a plane.
KATIE
Or ride another rollercoaster.
Or see the Dead Sea.

MATT
JESSIE
I'll never have three children who look just like my frat boy so that when I kiss
them I'm kissing him.
I'll never see my limits.
Or really know myself.

EMILY
MICHAEL
KATIE
I'll never get to play with my little brother again.
MATT
I'll never have a chance to make dad proud of me.
JESSIE
I'll never cry at my children's graduation.
I'll never see Paris.

EMILY
MICHAEL
Or Tokyo.
KATIE
Or be handed a high school diploma.
Or get washboard abs.

MATT

JESSIE ( to Josh)
I'll never have an epitaph that reads "Beloved mother, grandmother, and wife.
Because I died at 17."
JOSH
It was just a fantasy. Like a horror movie. A DVD. In my mind I thought I could
just hit the BACK BUTTON and bring you back to life! The movies over. Theres
nothing I can do. It's over. Okay? It's over.
MICHAEL
Over for us, Josh.
KATIE
But BACK BUTTON and PLAY BUTTON for you.
Every day of your life.

MATT
JESSIE
You'll see us on the big screen in your head.
EMILY
And you'll see us overAnd overAnd over-

MICHAEL
KATIE
MATT
AgainAnd Again-

JESSIE

EMILY
As you saw us yesterday in the school cafeteria.
DEAD!
(Katie drops dead)
DEAD!
(Michael drops)
DEAD!
(Jessie drops)
DEAD!

DECEASED

(Matt drops)
DEAD!
(Emily throws her arms around Josh and drops bringing him to the floor).
JOSH
I didnt know it would be forever.
(JOSH goes to his knees)
Is this the rest of my life? Oh God.
(ENTER SHADOW IN HIS HOODED
SWEATSHIRT. SHADOW sits near JOSH back
to audience as LIGHTS FADE TO DARKNESS)
END